


Tata Acasă

by Buckybarnesarm



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Real Person Fiction, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Bisexual Female Character, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Drug Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Dom/sub, Older Woman/Younger Man, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Penis In Vagina Sex, Sarcasm, Sex, Slow Build, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2020-11-28 20:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 89
Words: 202,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20972366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buckybarnesarm/pseuds/Buckybarnesarm
Summary: Brodie Lee left home at sixteen to escape and somehow ended up becoming a musical icon. Her success in the 80's underground scene was perfectly timed to usher in the 90's Alternative explosion. By the time her band reached it's peak, the pressures of mainstream success tore them apart. Her ex's rehab stay led her to an unlikely friendship with Robert Downey Jr.Now RDJ is back on top as Ironman. Brodie having a deep love of comics since childhood, has a special connection to the Marvel character Bucky Barnes for reasons very few people know. She even has a tattoo she hides from the public as a reminder of her past. When she attends the Endgame premier as RDJ's guest and mistakenly tells a reporter about it, word quickly gets to the man who brought Bucky to life, Sebastian Stan.Seeing his opportunity to meet the woman he has been in love with since high school, Sebastian seeks her out. The attraction is mutual, but Brodie has given up on relationships and has some dark secrets that have caused previous partners to bolt.





	1. Meet Brodie

Good Lord she hated doing these red-carpet things alone. When she was with her band or other co-workers/collaborators at least it wasn’t so much pressure to not look like a dumbass. However, it was a necessary evil if she was going to get to see The Avengers: Endgame at its’ premiere. At least she talked her brother Duncan and very pregnant sister-in-law Ellie to come with her, wasn’t too hard they were both Marvel geeks too, but the carpet thing was off the table for them. “Too pregnant, too hot” said Ellie. “Not my thing sis, you’re the ‘rock icon’.” Duncan had said, he knew that drove her insane. “Icon” “rock star” and all those other flourishes made her roll her eyes so hard she saw the front of her brain. Brodie thought of herself as a musician and not above anyone who listened to her music or came to her shows and absolutely not the caliber of an icon. That title was for people like The Beatles, or Bowie, or someone like that. Truth be told, she just loved music, she would do it for free and she knew how damn lucky she was that she didn’t have to. She knew many musicians who frankly were way more talented than her that forever played in small clubs or coffee houses, working a “real” job waiting for their break. 

Somehow, that wasn’t the path she was given. Insanely young and lucky Brodie Lee left an abusive home, fell in love with a beautiful boy, became the singer in his band, and wrote a mildly hit song. Many years later people were still excited to hear her music, to give their hard-earned money to come see her in concert. The boy she fell in love with was still her bandmate, but no longer her husband. She married him as soon as she turned 18 and the band was already fairly well known albeit in the underground scene. Two short years later, in 1987, their little band made an album that would become part of their generation’s alternative culture. Songs that would conger up fond memories for some and heartbreak for others but always a welcome soundtrack of their lives. This was the beginning of alternative coming out of the shadows and she inspired many female artists to pick up an instrument and do it themselves, boys weren’t a fucking requirement, an honor she did not take for granted, even though she thought it was interesting that the three men behind her every night didn’t seem to register to them. 

The next release was even bigger and more beloved, they had hit the mainstream. It was the end of one decade and the beginning of the next, a full 4 years before the word grunge would be in the vernacular. Big time success came with all the fame, money and debauchery of the music business in the 1980’s. Her once sweet and caring husband had become a heroin addict, angry and verbally abusive one second, begging for her forgiveness and roughly dismissing her the next. Her other bandmate, once a shy joyful man named Malcolm, had become an alcoholic, at least he was a happy drunk, but the alcohol made him reckless and forgetful. Jeremy the third member, suffered bouts of excruciating stage fright, sometimes it taking more than an hour for her to coax him to perform. Brodie was no angel by any means. Drugs were available at any time and she did her share but it was never really her thing. She smoked Marlboro Lights like a chimney, swore like a long shore man, could drink anyone under a table and was the one that had to keep the band together. When she walked in on her loving husband and the female tour assistant fucking in her hotel bed, she was soon divorced. It wasn’t the first time he cheated, but it was the last time she ignored it. Young, single, famous and so, so lonely, she became pretty promiscuous as well, this was definitely her thing. 

She developed a taste for a submissive role, sometime during her marriage something Dave was vehemently against and would never play along with. She was free to explore it now from light to full on hard core BDSM. It was ecstasy to be able to let go and have someone else take over her every move, but still on her terms, after having to be in charge since she left home at sixteen. So, a steady stream of mostly nameless forgettable “sirs” and “ma’ams” kept her mind off things. She could have pretty much had any man or woman that piqued her interest, but what she really wanted was someone who cared about her. Someone who saw all her fucked-up issues and was still interested. Someone who would stand by her side in the world and control her in the bedroom. This person did not exist in the shallow dating pool of the music world. She knew this for a fact because she tried many samples from this pool and no one was up to the title of ‘daddy’.

Their next release roared onto the charts and stayed there. It was at peak Seattle sound era and they were the OG breakouts. When one of her first songs was sampled in a rap song, they gained a whole new audience and a whole new set of pressures. At the end of a very long and grueling tour for the third triple platinum album in a row, she was on the verge of a mental break. She reached out to the one person who would never let her down, the one who knew her almost her whole life, her younger brother Duncan. She and Duncan were only a year apart and she was technically the older one but Duncan was the first to leave the hell hole they grew up in, he went to live with his best friend after a particularly brutal beating from their mother. Brodie soon followed but she went to New York and the rest was history and was also, at the time, killing her. “Duncan, please, I need someone to help me, come stay with me in California” she begged him. She had moved there after the divorce hoping for a fresh start, but Dave and his new wife had soon followed. “On one condition” he demanded “You stay off the road and out of the spotlight for 1 year.” “Duncan...” “Nope, nonnegotiable.” She needed him desperately “alright” she sighed into the phone “one year, but I can still work and record at home” “Deal. Pick me up at the airport in the fast car and I get to drive it while I live there!” “Fine! Just come soon.” She could feel her grip on things starting to disappear and she didn’t know how long she could wait for help.

She kept the bargain. She stayed off the road and out of the limelight for a year and it was the best thing she ever did. She did the most mundane, everyday things like grocery shopping and mopping the kitchen floor. She loved to do laundry and she painted every room in her house by herself, with Duncan looking on as ‘supervisor’. It was the first time she ever had a normal life. Living in the real world gave her a clear view of what she had been doing to herself for the last few years. It also gave her back her fire to create music and for the first time, she wrote songs for herself not the band. She emerged from her brother’s forced exile with a solo album and a new priority, herself.

The solo album was a smash hit and no one was more surprised than Brodie. She had written it for herself and it was deeply personal. She had spent endless hours listening to music from every genre. She loved swing from the 40’s and jazz, rockabilly and reggae, classical orchestras and punk rock, speed metal and blues, hip hop and funk. It was all over the place but every melody fed her creativity. She had an insane ability to memorize most songs by the third time she heard them and could play them within 5 listens. She couldn’t understand math to save her life, but music was a language she spoke fluently. She took it all in and then needed to empty her soul, so she wrote songs about heartbreak and pain and loneliness. She poured all her demons into every note, her abusive upbringing, the betrayal of her first and only love, the depression and anxiety she had her whole life but never had a name for before therapy. 

Apparently, people responded to her raw honesty and it felt good. This is around the time that those dreaded words like ‘icon’ and ‘genius’ started popping up. She couldn’t quite understand how she was so accomplished in her professional life and such a disaster in her personal life. She convinced herself that having the love of someone who would care for her and accept her was just not in the cards for her and it never would be. She could be content with the love of the people who connected to her music. As for sex? Well, that could be found easily enough. There was always someone willing to feel they could control her and somehow have her fame rub off on them. Love however, was off the table. 

About a year after her solo album came out, her band was feeling jealous and left out of her recent success. They wanted to get back in the studio in New York. She was apprehensive at first, but her love for her bandmates had her agreeing. She quietly started working on some songs that would fit the band’s sound, while trying to not alert Duncan that she was going back to the life that almost broke her. When he finally figured it out, he was not happy. 

“You are fine on your own Brodie!” he railed. 

“Duncan, I can’t just abandon them.” she said calmly. “they are like family.” 

“Damn it, Brodie! I am your actual FAMILY!” he slammed his hand down on the kitchen table with the last word. He caught himself immediately when she instinctively winced, a little tic from their dear old mother who liked to hit them to get her point across. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Brodie. I just see the broken mess you were when I got here and how good you are now and I, I’m scared for you. I’m scared to lose you.” he said calm now. A single tear fell from his eye and she jumped up to hug him. 

“I know, I promise, I won’t go back to that.” she cooed to him as she rocked her baby brother, who was at least a foot taller than her now, in her arms rubbing his hair like she did when they were both children. 

Duncan’s instincts were right as usual. Damn him she thought. The sessions were a mess. The ex, Dave, was deep into his addiction. The tour assistant she found him in bed with had left him for a “bigger rock star”. Malcolm was still drinking heavily and had begun to pass out, blacked out drunk, on a daily occurrence. Jeremy, still mentally fragile, went home after the second day and never came back. Dave started flipping back and forth from blaming her talent for his addiction (how dare she be more successful than him) and shaming her over her ‘weird kink’, blaming it for driving him to his new (estranged) wife, to begging her to give him another chance and promising he would kick cold turkey if she would just come back to him. 

After a week, she started to feel the familiar pain in the pit of her stomach that had her leaving the studio for a pack of cigarettes, a pint of vodka and a warm body. Walking into the little liquor store on the corner, she had a clear vision of Duncan slamming his hand down on her table saying “Damn it, Brodie! I am your actual FAMILY!” and she turned around. Walking out of the store, she went straight to the little apartment she still had from when she made her first paycheck, to pack and then to the airport back to California.

It was several months before she heard from any of them. Frankly, she wasn’t even sure if they noticed she was gone. Then one afternoon her phone rang, fuckface, her contact name for her ex, came up on the screen. She almost didn’t answer, but resigned to facing up to her disappearing act, she picked up sighing “What do you want David?” 

“Hello is this Brodie?” an unfamiliar male voice asked. 

“Yes, who is this?” she was convinced it was Dave’s dealer looking for money.

“Ma’am I’m Dr. Preston from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center Emergency Department. We have a patient here that has you listed as an emergency contact.”

“what is wrong with him?” she asked squeezing her eyes tight waiting for the blow. 

“Well ma’am that is not something I can tell you over the phone without proof of identification.” 

“You do know that you called me, right?” Sarcasm was always her go-to when upset.

“Yes, ma’am. We were hoping that you could come here and participate in some medical decisions.”

“Seriously? Ok, ok fine, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

“Thank you, ma’am…” she hung up without saying anything else. 

David had cut his wrists and then shot up an insane amount. He was close to death. Because she had kept his last name to make it easier for legal stuff, she was able to pretend she was still legally married to him and sign whatever consent they needed. The nurse told her that the paramedics said he had written “Fuck you, world” in his own blood on the wall. “Fuck you David” she whispered through her teeth at him while she held his bandaged hand at his bedside. 

“I swear to all that is holy that I will kick your fucking ass if you die this way!” and for the first time since she walked into that hotel room to find him betraying her for the last time, she felt something other than hate towards him. She let herself feel love for him again and she felt guilty that she had closed it off from him. She knew he was fragile; he had told her many times that she was the only one who could fix him and she let him down. She just wanted him to be ok and find happiness again. Not with her, for fucks sake. She had had enough and obviously wasn’t enough, but happy with himself. 

“Dave, come on. Wake up.” she whispered. “I’m not mad at you anymore.” “Dave. Wake up” she said a little louder. “Dave! I mean it! Wake UP!” she said firmly in his ear. Faintly, just a flutter really, she felt him squeeze her hand. 

Not nearly enough hours to her mind later, Dave was fully awake and being a pain in the ass. She guessed that was a good sign. They released him to her to take home and she was racking her brains with what to do with him as they were walking out of the hospital doors when a police officer approached. Dave was under arrest for possession. “Mother fucker!” was her only comment. He was out on bail the next day and staying in a hotel in downtown LA. His house was a mess from his suicide attempt and he needed to not be completely alone. She went to see him to make sure he had eaten and because the lawyer that took care of the all the band’s legal affairs told her he needed to lay low with the impending court case. He was high when he let her in the room. “It’s cool, it’s cool, I just needed to not get sick.” He said trying to excuse it, she knew he was full of shit and that this was not going to end well. “Dave” she said calmly and he sat down hard on the bed. 

“Dave, you were my first and only love. I married you. I traveled the world with you, we made it to the big time together, from nothing. I love you and there is always going to be a spot of my heart that belongs to only you, but I cannot and I will not watch you die slowly from a needle in your vein.” she approached him and gently kissed him on the mouth. “I’m sorry I did this to you, that I left you” she whispered, placing her forehead on his and looking into his eyes trying memorize them one last time. She turned away walking to the door, she stepped out into the hallway, as the door was closing behind her without turning around, she softly said “Goodbye, David”


	2. Dude, I Don't Make The Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brodie and Robert Downey Jr form an unlikely friendship over a chair.
> 
> Years later, at the premiere of Endgame, Brodie accidentally makes a life changing revelation.

Weeks later she went to her mailbox and found a letter addressed to her with familiar handwriting. She went inside and sat on the couch taking deep breaths and silently singing her go to song in her head to calm the rising panic. When her hands stopped shaking enough to open the envelope, she carefully peeled open the flap. It was a letter from Dave. He had gone to rehab and was doing better than he had in years. He wrote about how there were some famous people there, that he couldn’t tell her their names, but to trust him he was not even in the top ten list of famous. He talked about his daily routine and she laughed at him having to do chores and having bathroom duty. She had never seen him clean a damn thing since she knew him and his long description about him figuring out how to clean a toilet had her laughing so hard, she was almost in tears. The last paragraph had her shedding a different kind of tears. He wrote about the last time she had seen him and how her saying goodbye to him like he was already dead had done something to his heart. For the first time he wanted to live again because of her and he was willing to do whatever it took to survive. He closed by saying that visiting day was coming up and if she wanted to, she could come and see him, but he knew that she may not be ready for that and he would respect her feelings. He said he would write again, and signed it “with love”.

Visiting day came and Brodie found herself signing the visitor list and attaching the “Visitor” pass to her shirt. One of the staff members escorted her to a very plush room with a few couches and big overstuffed chairs. It reminded her of a very posh hotel she was at in France a few years ago. It was during yet another tour and she always remembered the hotel lobbies well because that was pretty much all she was able to see most of the time. The staff member asked her to have a seat and they would go get Dave. She looked around, _of course Dave would have to pick the most pretentious place in LA, pompous ass!_ She found a chair that faced out the window looking over the gardens and waited. A strange but somehow familiar voice from right behind her head made her jump __

_ __ _

_ __ _

“You’re in my chair, darling” she turned trying to see the face that went with the voice she was trying to place and came face to face with Robert Downey Jr. 

“I don’t see your name on it” she said coolly. He blinked at her and cocked his head to the side. “those are the rules man. no name, no claim.” she said as his mouth dropped open. “Look dude I don’t make the rules.” she said and turned back to the window. 

Here comes the sarcasm, she was already on full panic waiting to see Dave before she came nose to nose with one of her celebrity crushes. Robert moved so he was standing in front of her. “so, who does make the rules? Because I would like to make a formal complaint.” He said with a curious look on his face. 

“Dude, I don’t know. These are just universal rules.” She said waving her hands in the air “No name, no claim, if you lick it it’s yours, and then of course the all-powerful ‘shotgun’” she used air quotes to emphasis. The last one had him laughing a full deep laugh, scrunching up his face. 

“Yes, well, shotgun is one of the commandments I believe” He said in a serious tone. “Thou who calls out the word shotgun first, shall inhabit the passenger seat for eternity or until the ride has come to a complete stop.” he said in a deep dramatic voice lifting his fist above his head. She burst out laughing putting her face in her hands. “I’m a big fan of your music by the way.” He said matter of fact. 

Surprised that he knew who she was, and he liked her music, she sheepishly said “Thank you. I am a big fan of your acting.” 

“I knew you had exquisite taste; I could tell by just looking at you.” He said. She chuckled. “I mean you have great taste in chairs” he teased. 

She very slowly got up and a made a bowing motion gesturing to the chair. “all yours, your highness.” she said as sarcastic as possible and curtsied when he sat down. He smiled and looked very pleased with himself. She began to walk away to find another seat when he said “what you said to Dave saved his life you know.” 

“No, he had to want to be saved.” she said, he nodded his head in agreement._ This guy has no idea it was your fault to begin with_.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

“well, thanks for coming to visit me.” he said “next time though keep off my chair.” She leaned down and got right in his face, less than an inch away and whispered “Next time you’re gonna have to make me.” and she flashed a wicked smile that was frankly, quite frightening. Robert fell instantly in love with her.

This was the beginning of the friendship of Brodie and Robert. They loved exchanging barbs back and forth and they fell into a sort of sarcastic love fest. Brodie began to seek out Robert on visitor day. When he went home, they started to have weekly dates, never on a romantic level, but always seeming to make trouble for those around them. Duncan, was the only one who could stand to be with them for long periods of time when they got going until Susan entered the picture. Both Robert and Dave worked hard to get clean and they both succeeded this time. Both were now happily married, Robert to Susan and Dave to Jeni. Both had families. Both had fought their way back to the top of their professions. Brodie and Robert had busy lives but they never stopped communicating at least once a week, mostly phone calls or e-mails but their bond was strong and their friendship well known. Robert was now Ironman and no one doubted that he secretly was the real Tony Stark. 

However, to his everlasting frustration Brodie was a Captain America fan. She frequently teased him about how he should have gone for that role instead. Truth be told Robert actually loved Cap and the man who played him on the big screen, but the rivalry from the comic world and the fact that he was seen by everyone as Ironman, gave him an excuse to pretend he was wounded, betrayed by his closest friend. He often would try to mess with her Captain America/Winter Soldier tattoo that was on the upper half of her left arm. He knew why it was so important to her, and she knew that was the way he showed his love, but damn he was a menace. Once, he took a sharpie and wrote “I love Ironman” up and down her right arm when she fell asleep while babysitting for him and his wife. Another time he sent her a large envelope full of “tattoo removal” pamphlets while she was on the road, at every single stop. Frequently, he would clutch his chest and act like he was being stabbed when she would wear something sleeveless around him. She would just shrug and say “when you have Bucky Barnes on your team, I’ll think about changing sides” He always responded “Traitor”, but it was all in good fun. 

When she saw poor Bucky lose his arm in Civil War to a raging Ironman, she called Robert in the middle of the night and chastised him for hurting her Bucky, she was again on the road. “He. Killed. My. Parents.” he said incredulously and she scoffed yelling “He didn’t have a choice!” But Infinity Wars was brutal for her and Bucky was the first to turn to dust from Thanos’ snap and the MCU was seemingly coming to an ending point for some characters. For the first time, she would actually be in town at the right time and she asked Robert if she could join him for a premiere, Endgame. “I thought you’d never ask” was his answer. Now here she was dreading the “purple carpet” gauntlet. It was filled with yelling media figures trying to get the best sound bite, and Brodie trying to avoid looking like the biggest dork in the universe.

She was almost successful in sneaking by the press line unscathed, but she was spotted by one and the name calling began. “Brodie, over here!” “Brodie, quick interview!” “Brodie, how long have you been a Marvel fan?” it was hard to even pick out what any of them were saying because they were all yelling at the same time. She had promised to be accessible to get the coveted tickets and to be able to attend without a team of handlers so she picked one entertainment reporter that she recognized from other events that she thought might not make her look like an idiot.

“Hey Brodie Lee, it’s so nice to see you again. Tell me are you a big fan of Marvel?” 

“Nice to see you too. Yes, I have been since my brother and I were little.” It was one of the only luxuries they had as kids because the neighbor down the street worked at a printing press. He would bring home the old or misprinted books and leave them in a box on his porch for the neighborhood children. His wife would always come to the screen door when she would see young Brodie and Duncan timidly approaching to see if there were any new ones in the box. She would offer them cookies and sandwiches and when it got colder would give them warm clothes she claimed were leftovers from her kids. 

“So, you were a fan before the movies?” 

“Yeah, I was but I love the movies too. It’s great to see your favorite characters come to life so perfectly.” 

“I know you are good friends with Robert Downey Jr, has he given you any spoilers or hints at what happens in this one?” 

“God no! I know nothing! Even if he could he wouldn’t tell me just to make me mad and to punish me for having a Winter Soldier tattoo.” she laughed then bit her bottom lip suddenly realizing she just told the world about the one tattoo she kept hidden. 

The reporter gasped and said “Oh my, do you really? Not Ironman? That must make him a little angry or jealous! A bit of a hit to his ego?” Brodie knew when she was being baited for dirt.

“no, no we have a very good relationship it’s all in good fun!” she was grateful that the reporter didn’t ask to see it on camera. It was not something she showed in public. She would wear long sleeves or cover it with make-up for public events. It was just really personal to her and she didn’t want to share it to the world or have a bunch of copies out there.

“well thank you for stopping by, and I love your new album.” 

“Yeah, no problem, thank you so much.” _Phew!_ she thought _That was painful_.__


	3. ...And Of Course it's Him

Brodie gave a couple more short, little interviews just keeping it light and trying not to panic. Finally, she was inside and looked around for Duncan and Ellie. She found them in front of one of the many monitors showing the action outside. 

“Hey” she said joining them. 

“Oh hey, we were watching you.” 

“How dorky was I?” 

“No, you did good!” said Ellie always the supportive one. Duncan did good finding her and not screwing it up. She loved her like a sister, in fact she thought she liked her more than him. 

“minimal dork” Duncan said. 

“Thanks Dunc!” she rolled her eyes at him “always keeping my ego in check”

Just then the monitor showed the female reporter she had talked to first, she was interviewing Sebastian Stan the man who brought Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier to life. Robert constantly teased Brodie about having a crush on him accusing her of only liking Bucky because of Sebastian even though he knew damn well she liked the character before even the Ironman movie was made. He called her from the set of _Civil War_ one day teasing her about how he had spent the day lost in Sebastian’s famously gorgeous eyes and how he could arrange a meeting but the tattoo would have to go. She told him to shove it.__

__ _“Oh, he’s so hot!” sighed Ellie _  
“Right?!” Brodie agreed  
“Hey! I’m right here!” Duncan glowered at Ellie. “Yes, yes, you’re hot too” she patted his shoulder.  
“Ew” Brodie scrunched up her face “Gross” “Shh! He’s saying stuff” she warned Duncan when he began to protest. He just threw up his hands as she and Ellie moved closer to hear him over the noise. “…I mean, it seems like not that long ago...” he was saying as they leaned in to hear him. 

_ _“How fun is this kind of event for you?” the reporter asked him _ _

_ _“Uhh, I mean it’s usually pretty fun, but this one is just on another level. There are like big celebrity types here.” _ _

_ _“well, you are one of them” the reporter replied. _ _

_ _“Nah, nah I’m no RDJ or Tom Holland” he joked. _ _

_ _“speaking of RDJ, I just talked to Brodie Lee and she said that he is angry with her because she has a Winter Soldier tattoo” _I did not say that he was angry____ _

_ _ _ _“What?” Sebastian said a look of complete shock on his face. “no way!” Brodie had been sure that Robert would have passed on that bit of information to him at some point just to embarrass him or her or both._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“That’s what she told me.” the reporter prodded_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I can’t believe… you know I have had a mad crush on her for, for, forever.” He said blushing. She no longer felt her legs. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Really?” said the reporter sounding intrigued “well you might get the chance to run in to her tonight.” _That’s it, not talking to her again, stupid reporter lady_ Brodie thought sulking___ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“What did it look like?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You know, I didn’t see it! It’s just so crazy here tonight. I’m sure you can get her to show it to you” _Bitch I will cut you____ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Sebastian rubbed his hand down his face and shook his head quickly “I would really like to see it now” he said. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh. My. Fucking. God.” she mumbled turning red. Just then Anthony Mackie entered the screen and inside Brodie’s head screamed _fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t talk about the tattoo anymore. Shut up reporter lady. No one else needs to know!_ But it was too late he had already overheard it and was giving Sebastian shit. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh my God” she said to Ellie “that poor guy. I feel so bad for him. How embarrassing to find out some weird old chick has your face on her arm in front of the world” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Why?” said Ellie “he said he wants to see it.” “he looks pretty pumped about it.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down suggestively “besides you are pretty hot yourself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Are you out of your mind! He’s like super young and I’m like ancient” she scoffed. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“So? Look at him. Yummy. Come on Brodie let me live vicariously through you!” Ellie pleaded. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _‘You’re a sicko.” Brodie said in feigned disgust. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She laughed it off and said “Damn it, I have go to the bathroom, again!” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“yeah, you go now, you know the rules, no leaving the theater once the movie starts” she called after her. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You and your universal rules” ticked the voice from behind her, she turned to face Robert and his wife Susan. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Dude I keep telling you I don’t make the rules.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“yeah you just use them to your advantage” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hey, I seem to remember someone licking my hamburger to claim it because it was the last one just last week.” He laughed as she gave him a big hug. “you look great, darling” he said as he squeezed her tight. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“so does your wife.” she said moving over to give her a big hug too. “Thank you, sweetheart,” she said and they kissed each other on the cheek. Brodie adored her and thought of her as the big sister she never had. Susan somehow tolerated their pranks and bickering and Brodie could even count on her help to pull off a joke, something Robert didn’t know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Robert, did you ever tell Sebastian Stan or any of your other super friends about my tattoo?” she whispered in his ear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“No why? I thought it was a secret because you always cover it in public. Was I supposed to?” He whispered back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“No!” she put her head in her hands. “Ugh, why do I always say stupid shit at these things?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I don’t know darling and just at ‘these things’? Oh, hey Duncan!” He said and walked away. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Robert, we have to go.” His wife called after him. “He wanted to find you first, but he has to go do some press.” She tried to explain “his team must be having a fit”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh God, the press.” She whined. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You did fine.” Ellie said as she returned from the bathroom. “did she tell you that Sebastian Stan has a big ole’ crush on her and wants to see her tattoo?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Brodie closed her eyes and took a deep breath “you know what….” She didn’t finish her sentence and turned to find the bar. Robert’s voice fading as she walked farther away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Tell me everything” he was saying to Ellie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She was stopped on her way to where she thought the bar was located by a young girl who she thought was about 13. “um, ah, um, I love your music so much! You are my idol!” she gushed. Brodie smiled warmly at her and grabbed her shaking hand. She never got tired of meeting people like her and she always went out of her way to treat them well so they knew it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Thank you so much. That means the world to me.” she said with absolute sincerity. “What is your name?” she asked her trying to sound like they knew each other forever so the poor thing would stop shaking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“M-m-egan” she stuttered out in a total panic that Brodie was holding her hand and talking to her. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Thank you, Megan. I really love meeting people like you. It makes all the hard work and times I have writers block and really struggle worth it.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“oh, my gosh. You get writers block?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh god yes! Especially when I’m on a deadline!” she confessed “we all have something that tries to stop us from being happy.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I have anxiety and your songs help me feel better.” Megan said earnestly. Brodie folded her into a big hug and kissed the top of her head. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Megan, I have anxiety too.” she told her as she looked her straight in the eye. “it sucks.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _This makes her giggle. “yes, it does.” Megan said finally calming down. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Especially when I have to go out in front of a bunch of people at like an award show or something. If it’s with people like you and me then I’m fine, but famous people…scary. Can we take a picture?” Brodie asked, sure that she wanted one but was too stressed out to ask. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh yes! Please!” she said. She took out her phone and Brodie put her cheek on Megan’s and looked towards her outstretched arm. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Just then a voice from the left said “Here let me.” and Sebastian Stan took the phone from Megan’s hand. Brodie smiled trying not to turn red or pass out or say something dorky. _and of course, it’s him, why wouldn’t it be? this is my life_. She thought.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“there you go” he said showing Megan the photo and handing her back her phone when she approved. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Thank you” she said to him and then turned to hug Brodie really tight. “Thank you, I love you.” “I love you too, make sure you tag me on that so I can have a copy” Megan nodded and ran off leaving Brodie with the man she was hoping she wouldn’t run into tonight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. How Would You Look That Up on The Internet?

“Hello” he said smiling this dazzling grin. “I’m Sebastian.” He held out his hand.

“Hello” she said trying not to die of embarrassment. “I’m Brodie” she put out her hand to shake his but he suddenly turned his palm upwards and grabbed her hand lifting it to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

“I know” he said not letting go of her hand “I’m a huge fan.” 

“Thank you.” she said even more embarrassed, wondering if she would ever get feeling back in that hand. _Man, his lips are pretty___

_ _“Uh, this might be a little weird, but I just heard that…” she put her hand up stopping him. _No need to prolong the torture_ She turned so that her left arm was facing him and lifted her sleeve to show him her Winter Soldier ink. It was big and colorful. A collage of Cap’s shield, Bucky in his WWII uniform, and the Winter Soldier’s silhouette from the closing credits of the movie. He moved closer leaning in to see it up close. ___ _

_ _ _ _“Damn” he exhaled “I look good!” she laughed despite wanting to crawl under a rock. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m glad you’re … pleased?” she said to him blushing furiously. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“can I touch it?” he asked. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“uh, sure. I guess.” she shrugged. He gently wrapped his large strong hand around the back of her upper arm pulling it towards him. Whoa, her brain warned. Easy. You’re way too old for him. Fuck me! He has gorgeous hands! He touched the shield with his other hand, gently rubbing his pointer finger in a circle around the shield’s outline. He trailed his finger down to the silhouette ____

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“That’s from the end credits, right?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“yeah, uh-huh” she whispered afraid to move and cause him to stop touching her. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I gotta say this is my favorite part though.” He gently tapped the portrait of young Bucky that was a perfect duplicate of the face inches away from hers. She was suddenly glad she always pays generously for excellent artists._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“mine too” she said with a wink before thinking. Damnit Brodie keep it together. He looked up and smiled at her. This one was different, it was real, and charming. He blushed. ___ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Can I get you a drink?” he asked still holding her arm and stroking her ink with the back of his hand. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Yes please.” she said nodding her head vigorously. He let go of her arm and gently pulled her sleeve back in place. “thanks” she said with a raspy whisper. Her throat was suddenly dry and her knees weak. He put his hand on the small of her back and led her to the bar like a straight up gentleman from the 40’s._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“What would you like?” he asked _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“White Russian” she said automatically trying to keep her mind from going to the very warm feeling from his hand on her lower back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“well, I’m Romanian is that close enough?” he said staring into her eyes so intensely that she briefly wondered if anyone had ever had an orgasm from an intense staring session. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Works for me” she said wiggling her eyebrows up and down, he chuckled and turned to go to the bar. Holy fucking shit. Why are you flirting with him? What the hell is wrong with you? He’s way too young and way too pretty for you. Damn you Ellie and your vicarious living wish. Just then Duncan and Ellie came up beside her. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Do you want a drink?” Duncan asked her _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“uh, no it’s ok somebody is getting me one.” and up walks Sebastian holding out the White Russian. She could feel Duncan and Ellie staring at her but she refused to make eye contact. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Uh, Sebastian, this is my brother Duncan and Ellie my sister-in-law.” Sebastian turned his attention towards them. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hi” he said warmly. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hey” Duncan said shaking his hand. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“hi” Ellie said with a squeak. He gently shook her hand and smiled at her giant pregnant belly. He hesitated as if he was trying to form the right words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Two weeks” Brodie said to him “she’s due in two weeks” It was everyone’s first question and Ellie had complained about how tiresome it was to answer over and over on the car ride there. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Congratulations” Sebastian said to them both, looking a little relieved she let him off the hook._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“thank you” they said in unison. Sebastian turned his attention back to Brodie never breaking eye contact as he slowly took a drink. Ellie, not so stealthily elbowed Duncan and mumbled something about having to find something. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Brodie shook her head “subtle” she said with a laugh. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Sebastian smiled. “No, it was sweet” he said. “She could tell I want you all to myself” Suddenly she needed that drink in her hand something fierce. She used the straw so she didn’t just chug it back. Sebastian was watching her every move and she briefly wondered again if intense staring into the most beautiful blue grey eyes causing an orgasm was a thing. How would you look that up on the internet? Google? her thoughts were starting to race. She mentally started to sing her calming song. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Her phone signaled in her pocket. She looked to see it was a message from Robert “Rules are you need to get your ass in your seat” Damn it, I was just getting to like him. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _‘Uh, that’s Robert. He says I have to get my ass in my seat.” “It was nice meeting you Sebastian. Thank you for the drink.” As she started to turn to find Duncan and Ellie, Sebastian grabbed her elbow gently. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Wait” he said “Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow.” She looked at his beautiful face, damn his jaw line is cut. He’s so … young, remember?____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Do you know how old I am?” she asked him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Is that a requirement to take you out to dinner?” he laughed _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Dude, you’re like what 24? 25?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Actually, I’m 36, I’ll be 37 in a couple months.” He said cutting her off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“wow! really? You look way younger.” she said then shook her head quickly to get back to her point “But never mind that, I’m like…” she mentally tried to do the math without using her fingers. “…15 years older than you.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“so?” he shrugged._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“So, I’m probably the same age as your mother. Shit, I could be your mother” she quickly rambled out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“First of all, I’m pretty sure my mother was older than 15 when I was born, and second you are NOT my mother, and finally…” he stepped in closer “…I don’t give a shit.” she stared at him trying to form words. “So, is that a yes or a no on dinner Doll?” he asked putting his face next to her ear and whispering the question. He smells good. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Yes” she said out loud before her brain had caught up, as it was currently lost in his cologne and his soft breath on her ear. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Good” he said smiling. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Her phone went off again. “look I don’t make the rules darling. Ass. Seat. NOW!” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I gotta go before Robert has a tantrum.” He asked her for her phone and started typing. He tapped it and waited a second and she heard a tiny “ding” coming from his jacket somewhere. He took out his phone looked at it and typed something, then he nodded. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Here” he handed her phone back. She looked at the screen and it was text exchange that just said “hey” back and forth and the contact was “ _Seb_ ” she smiled at him and turned to go hunt down Duncan and Ellie for the movie. Once she got around the corner and she was sure he couldn’t see her anymore, she tossed the straw and downed the drink in one long gulp. What did I just say yes to?____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	5. Not Tonight Downey

She found Duncan waiting outside the woman’s bathroom for Ellie. _Poor thing she really does spend a lot of time in there now_. When Duncan caught her eye as she was approaching, she knew he was about to grill her on what the hell just happened and she wasn’t ready to talk to her little brother about it, so she just quickly ducked into the bathroom to find Ellie. Of course, there was a huge line and Ellie was three away from a stall. __

_ _“Hey” she said sliding up next to her._ _

_ _“Oh! Hey!” she said in an overly friendly manner “What is up? What’s new? What’s shaking there, sis?”_ _

_ _“Nothing. Just Robert says it’s time to find our seats.” she said as nonchalant as possible. Ellie was about to pounce but luckily Brodie’s phone went off._ _

_ _ “oops. gotta take this” and she ducked out of the line and went to the lounge section of the bathroom. It wasn’t a call, but a text from David, or as her phone called him, _former fuckface_, she had forgotten to change it when he had cleaned up and they were on good terms. One day in the studio he noticed it and added the ‘former’ and for some reason he thought it was hilarious so it stayed. ___ _

__ __ __ _FFF – _Hey Stephanie is freaking out about some internet thing where some guy mentioned you and she wants to know if you met him yet_? (Stephanie was Dave’s daughter with his current wife)   
B – _Uhh_, _kinda_.  
F – _She is screaming bloody murder right now_! _Who the hell is she talking about_?  
B – _just one of the actors from the Marvel films_.  
F – _Who_? _She knows Robert_.  
B – _no a different one_.  
F – _Hold on she says I have to go see_.  
B – No! No! _It’s no big deal_. _______________________

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _This was a nightmare. _You just couldn’t wait to see Endgame for a few days like everyone else_, she thought chastising herself. This time when the phone went off it was ringing.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hello” she answered on a deep sigh.  
“Oh my God! Oh my God!! Aunt Brodie! Sebastian Stan likes you!!!” It was Stephanie screaming on the other end. “I’m FREAKING out!” she explained unnecessarily. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Ok sweetie, it’s no big deal. He was just being polite for the cameras.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Did you meet him yet? Can you see him from where you are?” Since she was in the ladies’ room, she hoped not. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Yes. No, I met him really quick…” a piercing scream came through the other end so loud that she pulled her ear away from the phone and those around her looked up. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Steph! Steph! Stop screaming! I can’t understand what you’re saying!” Ellie walked up looking relieved, yet about to pounce on her for info, she mouthed ‘_It’s Stephanie_’ to her.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Look Steph I have to go; I promise I will call you first thing and tell you all about it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“WAIT!” She screamed “Please, please, please, please get his picture for me! Please Brodie! I love you so much! OH! And all the other Avengers too?!!” She rolled her eyes. Stephanie knew Brodie couldn’t refuse her. She was her godmother after all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I promise to do my best. I love you too, talk to you soon.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Ellie stood in front of her, hands on her hips, her giant round belly thrust forward. “Spill it!” she demanded. Brodie’s phone went off once again, she shrugged at Ellie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hello” she answered turning, walking out of the bathroom Ellie hot on her heels. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You know, you certainly are taking your sweet time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sorry Robert. Ellie had to make a pit stop.” She took the phone from her ear and told Duncan and Ellie “We have to go. Robert says it’s time to sit down…” she put the phone back up so Robert could hear “…and Robert is displeased that my ass is not in a chair.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Now, Darling!” He hung up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She noticed the quick look that went between Duncan and Ellie. No one else would have but she knew them too well. “You go on ahead” Duncan said “Ellie wants to stretch out a little before she has to sit for so long.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Ok” she answered suspiciously “But don’t be too long because it must be starting if Robert is freaking out so badly” they both waved her off and suddenly her body was on high alert. Something was up. She walked into the theater part of the building and the first thing she noticed was not many people were actually sitting or even in there. She squinted against the change in light, blinded for a second by the contrasting darkness. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _‘Over here Darling!” she heard Robert call. As she stepped forward and her vision adjusted she saw Robert half way down the middle aisle standing between Captain America and Falcon. _Fuck_, she knew something was up, but she also knew from all the pranks, jokes, and sarcastic barbs they have thrown back and forth, it was better to just take a deep breath and face the humiliation. Robert loved putting her in these kinds of situations because he knew she tended to say or do something he could tease her for, for eternity. _Not tonight Downey_ She walked down the aisle super self-conscience of every step she took. God don’t trip now! _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Robert” she greeted him raising one eye brow. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“These two gentlemen are extremely interested in tattoos.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Are they?” she said looking from Anthony Mackie to Chris Evans and back to Robert._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Yes, yes, and I told them that I just happen to have a very good friend that has some tattoos that they might like to see.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Umm hmmm”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Well you know maybe just one.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Chris was the first to break ranks and smile and hold out his hand in introduction. “Chris Evans.” He said shaking her hand. _His hands are big_, _but Sebastian’s were bigger_. _Why are you thinking that stop it_!_______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Brodie Lee” she said smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I hear you’re Team Cap? Good choice.” Behind him Robert scoffed Chris had caved way too quickly he would be no help to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Yep, since I was a kid” She looked at Robert, one down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“This is Anthony Mackie.” Chris gestured to him, he was still giving the steely glare, arms crossed. Robert must have thought he was going to be hard to bring over to her side, but she had an ace up her sleeve._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Actually, we met once before.” she said “a few years back.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You remember that?” Anthony instantly dropped the act and his jaw hit the floor. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sure, why not?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I don’t know you’re... you” he said waving his hands up and down in front of her face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“well I remember we had a long conversation about Tupac dying and if he was still alive on some secret island. Something about him and Elvis and the illuminati? It was at some club in New Orleans.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Holy shit!” he said shaking his head. “I can’t believe you remember THAT.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You remember it, why wouldn’t I?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Good point, I guess” She smirked at Robert. He narrowed his eyes at her challenge._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“So back to the tattoo in question.” He said trying to get back the advantage “Let’s see it” he demanded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She sighed. _It’s just a tattoo why is this so embarrassing_. _It’s not like it’s a naked depiction of all three of them or your grade school picture or he’s asking you to strip naked in front of Captain America_. She knew why though; it was because of what it meant to her. Not just the character of Bucky, but the actor who she had a hard time admitting even to herself let alone Robert she dreamed about. Robert was eyeing her closely for any sign of embarrassment._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Alright, here you go” she sighed lifting her sleeve. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Chris, who was kind of like a big toddler in the best way, smiled from ear to ear. “Oohhh, I could have used this as fuel to give him shit if I knew about it sooner! His best friend on my team!” HA! Advantage back to me. _Captain America said I was on his team and he is so sweet I like him and he likes me_!___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Anthony was a little less impressed. “Uh, I am looking, but I don’t see Falcon anywhere.” He narrowed his eyes and put his face about in inch away scanning it back and forth. “yeah, nope!”  
Chris laughed “I don’t know what your laughing about I don’t see you either!” Anthony teased him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“What do you mean? The shield is right there! That’s me!” Chris argued_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Anthony looked from her arm to Chris and back again. “Yeah, no. I don’t see it.” “I do see sexy Seabass on there what 1, 2… TWICE!” It took all her concentration to not blush and give Robert the advantage. She was cool, she was fine, she did not immediately feel his hand on the small of her back and the way he smelled and.... What is the big deal? _Downey is not winning this one_. Once again, her phone signaled. _I’m saved_, except she wasn’t._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	6. Also, What is a Record?

The alert was a text from ‘Seb’ and she instantly regretted looking at it in front of Robert. She had thought it was Duncan or Ellie giving her shit, but seeing his name come up had her blushing something fierce. 

“Who’s that?” Robert said slyly, he might be losing this little ambush but she had just given him a plan B. 

“Uh, just Stephanie she wants me to get some pictures for her. Would you guys mind? She’s my goddaughter.” Robert glared at her, they knew each other so well he could feel that she was lying.

Chris immediately agreed and asked if he could also take one of her and him together because he was a big fan. She told him of course he could and she and Chris started taking selfies with their phones. Both of them immediately made goofy faces into their cameras, laughing and taking weirder poses by the second. 

“Wait, wait, wait” Chris said trying to stop laughing “one good one.” They both tried to shake out the laughter before coming together for a nice photo. It was hard for her to get them both in frame on her phone because of the height difference. 

“Here I’ll do it” offered Robert and he took her phone making a big deal about getting it just right. When he was finally satisfied Brodie and Chris went back to making faces forgetting that Robert had her unlocked phone. Laughing at a particularly idiot pose with Anthony now joining in on the fun, she looked over and caught Robert’s eye. He was holding her phone, with a text conversation open, between his thumb and middle fingers wiggling it at her. Crap! I hate it when he wins. Surprisingly, and most concerning, he just handed it back to her with a wicked grin. “well, my work here is done.” He smirked and walked away. Game, set, match. Winner: RDJ

She took a few more crazy pictures and a couple of nice ones with her and Anthony, who told her to call him Mackie like everyone else did, and some more of all three of them. She thanked them both and told them she knew that they still had publicity obligations and she would hope to see them again sometime. Chris wrapped her in a giant bear hug lifting her off the ground a few inches. Mackie shook her hand and then pulled her in for a hug. “I still can’t believe you remember me” he said. 

“Well you are kinda unforgettable” she said 

“Truth right there!” he said pleased with her explanation.

She made her way quickly towards the lobby part of the building heading once again for the bar to get a stiff drink and a chance to read Sebastian’s text message that Robert already had. Duncan was going to pay for helping in that little set up. She ordered a vodka shot to ease the loss to Robert. Game might not be over yet. He could have just butt texted, wait, is that a thing?

Seb – So when are you free for dinner tomorrow?   
S - Also, I need to know where to pick you up.   
S – Are you in a hotel or do you live here?  
S – I’ve had a crush on you forever btw, but you’re even more beautiful in person.   
S – (gif of a rapidly beating heart)

When the hell did he send all those? she saw they were one right after the other which means she was screwed because Robert read the whole thing. Fuck it, this situation is a two-drink minimum. She ordered another shot.

B – I live here. I am free tomorrow after 2pm so what works for you? I do have an early meeting on the next day though so maybe like 6ish?   
B – and thank you (blushing emoji), did you have that crush since you were a baby? (baby face emoji) because I’m pretty sure you were born the same year my first record came out.  
She sent him her address and then wondered if he would get the joke or get insulted for calling him a baby.

S – I’ve got stuff until about 4 but 6 sounds good. I know old people need more rest, so I’ll try to get you home before your meeting the next day.  
S – and it was when I was in high school the crush began (heart eyes emoji)  
S – also, what is a “record” (confused face emoji)

B – Ouch!   
She replied grateful that he got her sense of humor. Humor was a major turn on for her. 

S – (Kiss emoji) (wink emoji) She suddenly remembered Stephanie’s plea.

B – Uh, I hate to ask but my goddaughter saw something on the internet and asked if I could get a picture of you for her. 

S – Goddaughter huh? You sure it’s not for you? she started to text him a reply…  
S – You know so you remember who is taking you out tomorrow. I know you old timers can be forgetful.  
B – (gif of someone flipping the bird)  
S – Just for that, no picture.   
B – Damn it! Please?   
S – Nope!  
B – Come on, pretty please (smile emoji)  
S – No, but I like your begging.  
Something stirred in her and she read that last text over again. She had long ago given up on finding a partner, a permanent ‘daddy’, why did she suddenly feel that ache? It’s been a while since she had anyone, and the last one Robert forbid her from talking about anymore. She has been busy, new album, tour plans. The meeting the day after tomorrow was about merch for the tour, and she was seeing the personal trainer tomorrow to start to get ready for it, maybe that would satisfy any physical needs. Or, or, you could just have sex with the very handsome man that wants to take you out to dinner and is flirting with you like mad. Hold it together grandma Brodie he’s just fucking around, he doesn’t mean it.

B – Pretty, pretty, please? I’ll owe you one.  
S – Owe me one? (devilish smile emoji) Deal!  
B – Fine. I can’t disappoint her. Can you send me one?  
S – Where are you?  
B – bar  
S – on my way

Five minutes later someone whispered in her ear “Hey doll” she knew it was Sebastian immediately because she smelled his cologne and her body suddenly responded with an aching. She turned to look at him and for a second almost leaned in to kiss him. Whoa what was that? He didn’t seem to notice thankfully and he asked her where she wanted to take the picture. She found a fairly open spot, the place was crowded now and the actual showtime was getting close, he slid up next to her putting his hand on her lower back again. Damn it does he have any idea how sensitive my lower back is to the feel of his hand? The hairs all over her body raised. She wasn’t really thinking to take one together but Stephanie would probably be over the moon with it so she stretched out her arm to take a picture.

“Wait, you’re as tall as Chris and I couldn’t get us both in the frame because I’m short. Can you do it?” she started to hand him her phone but he was looking at her curiously. 

“Evans?” he asked. 

She told him the whole ambush story briefly but stopped short of Robert seeing his text messages. He laughed and shook his head and then held up the phone to take the picture. 

“Yeah, you might think it’s funny but Robert and I have spent years fucking with each other, it’s a matter of bragging rights.” She told him  
He took out his phone to take another one for himself. This time he moved in much closer so his cheek was resting on the top of her head, arm firmly around her waist turning her towards him. I really need to find out what cologne he wears because it does things to me. Suddenly his team of handlers was there and he needed to go. 

“I snuck out of their sight to come find you” he whispered in her ear. She laughed knowing exactly what he meant. Touring and promotion time, was basically an exhausted Brodie, surrounded by a group of guards, assistants, and promoters. It felt like she was an object being shuffled around in a plastic bubble and her only joy came from slipping past them for sweet freedom. She looked at him and winked knowingly. “Twice” he said. She realized he must have done that earlier the first time they met and for reasons she couldn’t explain, or didn’t want to, it made her smile from ear to ear.


	7. Captain's Orders

After much ribbing from her companions about Robert taking advantage of her verbal slip up to put her on the spot and threats to Duncan’s life if he ever sided with Robert again, they found their seats. This time the theater was buzzing. She had arranged with Robert, or rather Robert’s assistant, to be seated on the isle closer to the exit so Ellie could use the Ladies room or (please little one not tonight) if she went into labor leave without disturbing anyone. She couldn’t help but scan the crowd closer to the center where all the cast and crew and their VIPs were mingling. There was a nervous energy there, and they were all greeting each other hugging and shaking hands, some laughing, some having more intense conversation. She was totally geeking out with Duncan as they both pointed at each person they recognized, amazed that they were only feet away from them.

“OH! Black Widow! She’s my dream girl.” Duncan sat up straight in his seat straining to get a better look. Ellie was glaring at him with a death stare. Brodie elbowed him in the ribs 

“What?” 

“You’re gonna pay for that one later” 

He looked at his wife “Love you, sweetheart” he said and tried to lean over and give her a kiss. She turned her head so he couldn’t. 

“Hey Brod, can I stay at your place tonight?”

“Don’t get me in the middle and don’t call me ‘Brod’” 

“I have to go to the bathroom, AGAIN” Ellie declared in a hostile tone “because I’m about to have your CHILD” 

“do you need me to go…” She cut Brodie off with a wave of her hand. 

“NO! You stay here with your idiot brother; you look too much like him and it reminds me he exists” she said turning on her heel and stomp/waddling out to the lobby. Brodie and Duncan looked at each other like grade school kids who just got yelled at by the teacher. 

“Ouch” Duncan finally said 

“Yeah, no shit. That was harsh. I look like you? Way to go for the jugular!” she said shaking her head. 

“She hates me” 

“nah, she’s just really uncomfortable. She is growing a human being in her body. Plus, she just feels off and bloated and unattractive so the Black Widow thing hit her hard. You know Ellie, normally she would have joked about it.” 

“Ah, I feel bad. I wasn’t thinking.” 

“Dude, I know, but she’s fragile right now and scared and all that stuff just like you are feeling AND she has a little alien trying to claw its way out in her.” She said making clawing gestures with her hands 

“Yikes Brodie! I’m never getting that image out of my head!” 

She went back to fangirling the crowd giving Duncan and Ellie a chance to make up. Ellie even joined in pointing out famous people after a while. “oh, look! There’s your boyfriend!” she said pointing to the right side of the swirling mob. Brodie followed her outstretched arm and saw Sebastian in his blue suit standing just a bit apart from the big mob of people. He was fidgeting with the button on his suit jacket and was biting on his lower lip. Every few seconds someone would come up and shake his hand or pat him on the shoulder or give him a hug and he would smile and laugh and listen appropriately but he never moved into the big mix. Her heart instantly went out to him. She knew that routine. Anxiety. She hoped she pulled it off as well as he did on the outside and she knew he was stressing out on the inside. 

She pulled out her phone and texted “Hey, heads up there’s some guy stalking me. He keeps evading security to get me drunk. Be careful” She watched him grab for his phone and look at it, that was a smile, he laughed as he read her text. 

“Sounds like you might need a personal bodyguard. You never know he might be dangerous or worse an actor. I bet he thinks you’re cute” he sent back. 

She watched him start to look around the theater “I know you’re right he could be dangerous, but dude, DRANKS!” he laughed reading it, his real smile lingering on his face as he typed 

“Ask him if he thinks I’m cute too, I could use some DRANKS” 

“Well I don’t know about him but I think you’re cute. I’ll share my drinks with you.” 

“Thanks Doll.” 

“Anytime” He caught sight of her finally and they both did a small wave 

“Alright how about now? Let’s make a run for it” 

“and miss this epic piece of cinematic history? No way! We’ll just sneak a bottle in here. You ok?”

“Yeah I just get nervous in big crowds”

“Gotcha, I think you’re supposed to imagine someone in their underwear or something?”

“Hmmmm I don’t know what that looks like can you demonstrate for me?” she laughed

“Go mingle you look stuck up” 

“Maybe I am” 

“if you go interact, I will send you a picture of something that you will really like”

“Going!!!”   
she laughed out loud at the text and the way he exaggerated running into the crowd. She sent him a picture of her, Chris and Mackie. She was on Mackie, piggy back covering his mouth with both hands and Chris, taking the selfie, was kissing his cheek with Mackie struggling to break free.

“EPIC! Did he lick your hand?”

“yup” she noticed he had visibly relaxed as they texted back and forth. She didn’t notice two sets of eyes watching the exchange as well from the crowd. 

She realized Duncan and Ellie were watching her. “What?” They both shook their heads and looked away. 

“Crap, I forgot to send Steph the pictures I took” she quickly started to scroll through the photos from the night so far before she had to turn off her phone. “Duncan, this one or this one?” she asked him going back and forth between a hilarious photo of her and Chris with his finger like a fish hook in her mouth pulling her cheek wide and her finger up his nostril, and one of them both just normal smiling into the camera. “Ah, the normal one.” she sent it off with the one of her and Sebastian and one of her and Mackie. She quickly took a panoramic picture of the crowd for her too and then one of her, Duncan and Ellie. 

Stephanie sent back a row of hearts and then “I changed my mind you look better with Chris Evans because Sebastian Stan is mine. He’s so gorg!” 

“lol. I surrender! He couldn’t help but pick you over anyone else, even me!” 

“Lol! ILY!” 

“Love you too future Mrs Stan” 

“hahahaha” when she looked up after turning off her phone Chris Evans was approaching, he waved as he saw her look his way. 

“Hey” he said towering over her. 

“Hey Cap” 

“ma’am” he saluted switching into Steve Rogers in an eye blink. 

“this is my brother Duncan and my sister-in-law El…” “we met earlier” Duncan confessed and she whispered “I hate you” under her breath. 

“I was wondering if you would like to come sit with me? I have an empty spot someone cancelled last minute.” Did you just get asked out by both Captain America and The Winter Soldier on the same fucking night? 

“Um, God that is so sweet but I…” she gestured towards Duncan and Ellie “…I’m kinda with them” 

“We don’t mind” they said in unison. “I swear to God if you pass up a chance to watch Captain America WITH Captain America, I will disown you” Duncan said as Ellie nodded along. 

“Sure, thank you” she replied to Chris politely. He held out his elbow for her to take. Damn do they have some kind of Marvel charm school that they all attend, except for Robert? She hooked her hand on his arm. Christ on a cracker that’s a bicep! He tucked his arm to his side to hold her hand steady and reached over with his opposite hand to cover it. He leaned in to whisper in her ear as he led her down towards the crowd she had just been stalking. 

“Listen, Seb is the greatest guy in the whole world. He is just the nicest guy. I want you to know he’s not playing you. He really is that nice.” she looked him in the eye, they were a beautiful bright blue, but Sebastian’s were hands down more appealing to her. 

“Thanks” she said in his ear “and I believe you but I’m just…old and I don’t know why he would want to bother with me.” he nodded 

“I know you think that but does the age really matter? It’s not like you’re his teacher and he’s a 14-year-old.” 

“True, and ewwww, but” 

“Believe it or not you guys have a lot in common. I usually look out for him in these situations, and him, me, because we both get…nervous in crowds but I saw you two and…look just give him a chance ok? Please?” she still looked unsure. They got to the heart of the crowd, he whispered “Captain’s orders” 

“Fuck. That was unfair” she said sulking

Chris delivered her, honestly that was the only way to describe it, to Robert. He kissed her on the temple patting her hand and gave her his best Steve Roger’s “be good” look before releasing her. I should have known I wasn’t going to get off as easy as that weak ambush.

“Alright Robert, what’s up?” he grabbed her hand, something he only did when it’s truth time, it’s like their safe word and they never broke the rule for a prank, she would have preferred the prank. 

“Look, I love you, you know I do and I know you think you’re happy alone, but I know that you are not happy. I miss the woman who used to fucking laugh and have fun and, frankly, scared me a little because she never refused any of my crazy ideas. Now you’re just all timid and quiet and terrified to be yourself. What are you scared of?” she shrugged “I know what it is. I know you know what it is too. Man, Dave did a number on you. You know, I like Dave, but Dave was and is a complete shit. Don’t let him take away your chance to be happy anymore.” “Robert do we really have to do this...” “no, no more excuses. I am putting my foot down. Duncan told me to look at what was happening because he hasn’t heard you laugh in forever. Chris and I just watched you two text back and forth in the middle of this insanity and it was the first time I’ve seen you fucking laugh in years. I mean really laugh. Now I don’t want you to wait another second. You go, Now, go god damn it!” He pointed towards Sebastian who was sitting a couple rows up talking to someone behind him. He squeezed her hand and let go. She stood frozen. 

“Hey Stan!” Robert called to him, Sebastian turned towards his name “Please, for fuck sake, take her off my hands.” He said pointing at Brodie. Sebastian smiled a little confused because he couldn’t hear over the crowd and got up to walk over to where they were standing. “what’s going on?” he asked Robert when he got there. 

“Ah, Sebastian. Do me a favor will you?” 

“sure” 

“Could you please escort my friend here for the rest of the night? I just want to make sure she’s taken care of and I need someone I trust.” Sebastian looked at Robert and shrugged happily

“Of course! No problem.” 

“Good. Sebastian, Brodie. Brodie, Sebastian. Have at it” and he turned and walked away. 

“Uh, what just happened?” Sebastian said to her now completely confused 

“We were set up.” 

“Wait, what do you mean?” 

“Tinman thinks you make me laugh and Captain goody two shoes over there thinks we have a lot in common” she gestured to where each was standing “so they set us up” 

“I’ll have to send them a thank you” Sebastian said grabbing her hand in his, leading her to their seats.


	8. But it's Gonna Be Fun

Endgame. It was perfect in Brodie’s opinion and as someone who absolutely never cries in front of others it ripped her heart out and she struggled big time with threatening tears. I’m going to be a mess later at home I better stop for Kleenex on the way. She learned a long time ago how to not cry no matter what, it was her most important rule. It was actually a pretty fucking useful skill sometimes. Sebastian held her hand for most of the film, it was sweet and she liked the feel of his hand around hers. He brought their intertwined hands up to his mouth and gently kissed the back of her hand as Ironman said goodbye. As heartbreaking as that was, the final scene with Bucky and then the dance of Cap and Peggy had her doing the same for him to keep herself from breaking.

As soon as the lights came up and speeches started, she turned her phone back on to make sure Ellie was ok. There were a few texts from Duncan saying Ellie was super emotional and was ready to call it a night. Also, he was super emotional and ready to call it a night. She leaned over to Sebastian and whispered “I have to go Duncan and Ellie are ready to leave” he looked at her and shook his head ‘no’ and grabbed her hand. “Yes. Ellie’s tired” she made a gesture of a pregnant belly with her free hand. He leaned in and said “Let them go, I’ll get you home” she texted to Duncan what Sebastian had said “Oh good. Tell him thanks.” Well, I guess I’m staying than. Sebastian leaned over “what did they say?” “Duncan said to tell you thank you” he smiled. 

“Hey Sebastian” she leaned his way “Hmmm?” “you were fucking brilliant”’ he smiled “Thanks Doll, Robert was just…” “I know, but you were fucking brilliant” he kissed her hand again and she caught Chris’ eye as he was waiting to be called up on stage, he did the Cap salute he had done earlier to her. Sebastian caught the exchange and looked at her with curiosity. She waved it off shaking her head “Captain goody two shoes is pleased.” She said sarcastically 

She made her way to Robert as soon as the hoopla was over. She hugged him and whispered in his ear “I love you too and you are the greatest fucking actor ever. Tonight, I’m Team Ironman.” Then she pulled back and said “and if you tell anyone what I just said I will deny it to the death” he pulled her in tight, showing a rare public display of their love and affection for each other not the façade of bickering and one upping each other. This was the bond they made when things were tough a long time ago “I love you. You deserve someone who will be good to you. Sebastian is a good man. You helped me laugh again a long time ago, I’m just returning the favor” He pulled back and said “and even if I told anyone that you declared your loyalty to Team Ironman, they wouldn’t believe me” 

By the time it was all said and done some were ready to go out and celebrate. Sebastian asked if she would want to drop by for a bit before going home. 

“I mean if you think it wouldn’t be weird” she said he looked at her confused 

“the party?” he asked 

“no” she laughed “me going to the party.” 

“oh! Of course not. Everyone will love having you there.” 

“If you think I would be uncomfortable at a weird party you might want to talk to Robert … or Mackie.” 

“What? Why Mackie?” she was going to tell him but the look on his face was far too perfect 

“ask him, I don’t want to talk about it” she left him hanging.

The party had moved to a club on the strip which was actually a place Brodie used to spend a lot of time at and if Robert knew she was there he would have showed up dragged her by the arm and took her home. She instantly felt relaxed though and more herself than she had all night. If that whole tattoo thing had happened here it wouldn’t have mattered. She saw a couple people she knew and waved. “You want a drink?” Sebastian asked   
“yes please”   
“White Russian?”   
“Nah, follow me” she said leading him to the bar.   
“Hey baby! Usual?” the female bartender asked her   
“of course, Dee. How ya’ been?”   
“good except I missed you and that pretty face” Brodie laughed turning red   
“This is Sebastian. Sebastian this is Dee.” They exchanged greetings and Dee put a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses on the bar   
“Tab?” she asked   
“you know it. Oh hey, the stuff.” Sebastian was watching this exchange very carefully. Dee slid a fresh pack of Marlboro Golds and a lighter with Brodie’s band’s logo on it over to her.   
“thanks”   
“be good baby” Dee said pointedly   
“yes ma’am” Brodie said automatically and then winced. 

She looked over at Sebastian he was making an odd face. “I only smoke when I drink so Dee keeps them behind the bar for me. Does it bother you?”   
“Smoking?”   
“yeah”   
“No. You smoke my brand” he smiled   
“oh man, why do I feel like this is going to be trouble” she said gesturing between her and him. “but it’s gonna be fun” Sebastian laughed grabbing the bottle and shot glasses in one hand and her hand in the other.   
“patio?” he asked “Yeah”


	9. To Tinman and Captain Goody Two Shoes

As they maneuvered through the crowd to the patio Brodie made a vow to herself to let go for tonight. Alright Robert, get out of my head. The club had blocked off the biggest patio for them. The crowd was a stunning array of Avengers and Brodie told herself not to drink to the point where she was talking character plot points with them. They walked into Joe Russo and Brodie took a picture with him and then gushed to him about how much she loved his and his brothers film making. She told them she was Italian too and Joe asked if she would be interested in maybe working on a soundtrack sometime. She tried to sound nonchalant but inside she was freaking out. They exchanged information and Joe said he’d be in touch.

Sebastian lead the way to a table with Chris Evans and Tessa Thompson who played Valkyrie and who Brodie had a tiny crush on. She got up as they approached and came over to Brodie “Oh God I love you so much!” Brodie smiled and said “I love YOU so much!” they hugged tightly and Brodie planted a quick kiss on Tessa. Tessa returned the gesture by grabbing Brodie’s face in her hands and planting a long hard kiss on Brodie’s mouth. 

They embraced again and Tessa said “I’ll be right back I need a drink” Brodie turned to Sebastian who was standing at the table frozen, mid placing the bottle of vodka down, staring wide eyed. She walked over to him as if nothing had happened. He gestured for her to sit in the seat he had pulled out for her next to him and he sat down between her and Chris. 

“have you two met before?” he asked 

“Nope” 

“oh” 

“problem?” 

“Kinda” he said slowly. She inhaled ready for the fight “I didn’t know that was allowed I would have done it myself hours ago and now I feel like I’d just be a copycat.” she laughed and shrugged at him 

“Missed your chance Seb” teased Chris. 

Sebastian poured two shots and handed her one then he filled Chris’ glass “Saluti” Brodie said and they clinked glasses then they all threw back the shot. 

‘You might get another chance” winked Brodie. 

He poured a second round “to tinman and captain goody two shoes” he said. She winked again and they drank. Chris said “Captain what now?” and they burst out laughing. Suddenly a big booming voice announced “Mackie is here!” and Sebastian closed his eyes throwing his head back in fake disgust “party’s over” he said “the party is just starting” said Mackie slapping Sebastian on the back and bent down to kiss her on the cheek. 

Mackie sat down next to Brodie and she suddenly realized she was between him and Sebastian and that was probably not a good place to be because they seemed to be a version of her and Robert. “What are we drinking?” he asked “We…” Sebastian gestured from himself to Brodie “are having vodka. I don’t know what you…” he pulled her close to him and gestured to Mackie “are having”

“Come on now Seabass don’t be like that” Brodie picked up the bottle and held it over her head 

“My bottle, I want to share it with everyone” 

“I like her” said Mackie. 

“Me too” said Chris on a wink. 

Sebastian pulled her even closer. Tessa came back to the table with another bottle of vodka and more shot glasses.

“Dee said to tell you ‘last bottle baby it’s a weeknight’” Brodie sighed hoping Dee just backed off “so we better make it count then. Is she your…” 

“No. Sometimes” Brodie said quickly cutting her off “Not for a while though” Tessa nodded 

“well then, fill ‘em up” They all did a multitude of shots, laughing and making stupid toasts. Sebastian took out two cigarettes and lit them both handing one to Brodie like they had done it a million times before. Tessa was bouncing around being social. Then Sebastian and Chris got up to say hello to someone and she was left with Mackie.

“Sooooo, how’s it going with seb?” he asked smiling slyly

“Is this like some kind of version of Marvel tinder or something?” 

He laughed “Naw, Seb is just…well Chris and I love him, he’s been kind lonely lately and we want him with a nice person and you’re a nice person.”

“How do you know that? You guys don’t really know me.”

“Look, there are people that when you meet them you just know they are nice people. Look at Sebastian over there” he gestured towards where he was standing “he’s a nice guy. I mean I’m a good guy but he’s a NICE guy. You know it after 5 minutes of talking to him. Uh, uh, look at him trying to look over here all nonchalant to see if I’m moving in on his girl.”

She remembered what she had told Sebastian earlier “Oh shit, I forgot I was teasing him earlier. He implied I would be uncomfortable at a weird party and I told him to ask you about it. I meant because of our illuminati theory but his face…” 

Mackie laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe “Oh god, oh man, I know that face! This one…” and he perfectly mimicked Sebastian’s facial expression 

“YES!” she started laughing with him

“Ok, ok I got it when he comes back we’ll play it up a little.”

“See I’m not that nice” 

“No sweetheart you are. You really are. Do you know how many people I’ve worked with that were my best friend when we were on set and now pretend they don’t even know who I am when they see me? And we worked months together. Eminem couldn’t pick me out on a lineup of 8 Mile cast members.”

“You know, that might not be a bad thing there.” She pointed out. He laughed “I’ve met him he’s kind of a douche”

“You’re right, you’re right. Bad example there. But you” he pointed at her “we met for like what, 2-3 hours? Years ago. Drunk off our assess, talking shit and you remember me.”

“I don’t understand why that’s such a big deal…”

“See, right there.” He pointed again “it’s just who you are, you’re a nice person.”

Sebastian was approaching the table so Mackie scooted his chair right next to Brodie so they couldn’t help but be touching. Sebastian sat down in his chair eyeing Mackie suspiciously. Brodie picked up the pack of cigarettes to get another and Sebastian took the lighter to light it for her. “Thanks” she said Mackie reached behind her like he was going to put his arm across her shoulders but leaned over and tapped Sebastian. 

“Hey Seb, did you know your girl here and I are old friends?” he said

“I heard something about it, yeah”

“Whooooo, we a good time. Didn’t we sweetheart” he gestured to Brodie she just nodded her head ‘yes’ because she we afraid she would laugh and blow it. “we were just reminiscing”

“were you?” said Sebastian one eyebrow raised.

“was that during Mardi Gras?” Mackie asked

“Uh, no it was in the summer.” She said

“Right, right. I just remember not a lot of clothing so…”

Sebastian grabbed her hand and pulled her off her chair and towards him so she ended up on his lap. “Go on…” he said. Mackie laughed

“Now Seb, you know I wouldn’t do you like that.”

“Do I?” he said taking the cigarette from Brodie and taking a drag. He used it to point at Mackie “I don’t know what you would do most of the time” he said it only half serious. Brodie took back the cigarette and took a drag.

Suddenly the opening piano of Lizzo’s Truth Hurts started from the main room. Almost every woman in the place got up to hit the dance floor. Tessa suddenly appeared and grabbed Brodie’s hand “Let’s go beautiful” she said pulling her up and out of the patio to dance, she barely had a chance to hand Sebastian the lit cigarette. 

By the time the song was at “you coulda had a bad bitch” Brodie and Tessa had found a spot, as the dance floor filled, Tessa nudged Brodie away from the others with her front right hip on Brodie’s front right hip. The two women then aligned their bodies front to front, hip to hip, and breasts to breasts. Tessa grabbed Brodie’s hips and pulled her close as Brodie wrapped her arms around Tessa’s neck. They were having a great time moving together and singing to each other. Brodie let go of Tessa’s neck and turned to grind her back against Tessa’s front. Tessa wrapped her arms around Brodie, one at her waist one under her breasts her hand lightly cupping the right one. She nuzzled her neck from behind. Brodie lifted her arms over her head and grabbed the back of Tessa’s head careful not to mess with the elaborate hair style she was wearing. She looked towards the patio as she did and in the doorway saw what she instantly thought of as an updated reenactment of the Volkswagen scene in Civil War when Steve kisses Sharon and his two friends look on approvingly. Except this time Chris was one of the onlookers too. 

Brodie winked at Sebastian and he smiled wide, she sang along “shoot your shot when you see ‘em, it’s ok, he already in my DMs” and she lifted her arms straight up and pointed at him. Tessa whispered in her ear. 

“Oh, that boy is all yours. He doesn’t even know it yet. Look at that face.” 

“what should I do?” 

“you want him?” 

She thought about it and said “I think I do” 

“Does he know about the kink yet?” funny how others with similar interests picked up on it

“no, we just met tonight” 

“He could be a good Daddy, he sure is pretty.” 

“Yeah, he’s way younger” 

“Bitch, him and I are the same age, I think you’re hot as fuck. Let’s see how he reacts” and she pulled Brodie’s head back by her hair roughly stepping around to be face to face again and stopped their mouths an inch apart. Sebastian stood straighter ready to step in if he needed to, not upset just protectively observant for Brodie to signal she needed his help. Tessa looked at him for approval and he nodded slightly giving it. Tessa relaxed her grip. “ding, ding we have a winner” she said laughing, she turned Brodie towards Sebastian slapped her hard on the ass and said “Go get your man”


	10. Yep. Bitch I n alult

Morning came with a vengeance. Brodie woke to her alarm and mumbled ‘please fucking kill me’ to the empty room. She forced herself to get up despite the fact that she was pretty sure she wouldn’t survive the day feeling like this. She made her way to the kitchen for coffee, fuck taking a shower I’m just going to get sweaty anyway she thought then changed her mind when she realized that smell was her. Stale cigarettes, vodka, and sweat mixed was not a great aroma in the way too early morning. let’s face it I’m not going anywhere without some caffeine not even the bathroom, so just stand still for a minute. As she waited for the coffee, she thought about Sebastian and how adorable he looked as she went towards him to drag him on the dance floor. He started to walk towards her one eyebrow raised his head slightly cocked to one side biting down on his bottom lip, he slowly dragged his teeth up until his lip popped out slightly swollen and sexy as fuck. 

The coffee finished filling a mug, she grabbed it with both hands and propped her elbows on the counter as she drank. She smiled to herself as she thought how he was surprisingly a pretty good dancer. She’d seen some things on the internet and a couple movies that were, well, yikes, but in real life he actually could move pretty damn well. Please coffee, please kick in She tried to figure out how much sleep she had gotten but math before 6am was impossible. Who are you kidding? Math is impossible, period. 

Giving a test run for standing up she concluded that was impossible as well. She slumped down sitting cross legged on the kitchen floor, her back against the cabinet right below the coffee maker, smart not to move too far from her lifeline. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. She had a clear memory of sitting comfortably across Sebastian’s lap his arm around her waist as they shared a cigarette back and forth. She had reached down to grab it from his lips and as she did, he had pulled her in and kissed her. She flicked the cigarette across the patio as she took both hands and ran them through his hair. Shit! You’re drifting off! 

She shook her head to clear it and also in an attempt to distribute the caffeine up there. She glanced at the clock. Fuck I can’t even see it, phone, phone, phone she repeated trying to remember where it was. Unfortunately, it wasn’t on the kitchen floor so she needed to get her ass up. If she could have figured out a way to hold the precious coffee and crawl on all fours, she would have but walking was the only way. She found it on the charger next to her bed, Wow go drunk me, it was 5:45am and she needed to leave by 6 to be on time. Crap! That woke her up enough to get in the shower, she hated being late. She quickly cleaned herself of last night’s stale odor and dried off. Good thing she was going to the gym and she didn’t need to do anything but run a brush through her hair and get dressed. Shit, teeth! She was almost out the bedroom door, she ran back into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. It made her think of Sebastian’s front right tooth and how it was slightly further out then the surrounding ones. Sometimes it got caught on his lip for a half second longer when he smiled. 

Running out the door to the garage she grabbed a banana and chugged the rest of the coffee. Yuck, too soon after toothpaste she swallowed it anyway because she was gonna need all the help she could get. Pulling the car out of the garage she hit the way-too-early-I’m-gonna-die playlist and turned it up “Kick out the jams mother fucker” came blaring out. Classic MC5 to start the day off right. She looked down at her phone as she waited for the gate to open. There were texts from Duncan asking if she made it home ok that she apparently answered finally with “Yep. Bitch I n alult” not too bad she had texted him worse in a drunken state. A missed call from Stephanie from the night before, damn it, she forgot she promised to call her. She would get to it after the gym. Then her heart skipped when she saw she also had multiple texts from “Seb”.

S – Hey Doll back at my room I’m good.  
She must have asked him to let her know when the car had dropped him off.  
S- Tonight was fun but tomorrow just us  
S- can’t wait for the talk (Wink emoji)  
The what now?  
S- It’s 5am and my assistant just woke me up what is the penalty for murder in LA?  
She laughed at that one.  
B- Whatever, I had to crawl my ass out of bed by myself and make my own coffee now I’m leaving for the gym. FUCK!  
She realized she was sitting in her driveway still and put the phone away. As she drove through the lovely LA traffic to her certain death, she tried to remember what Sebastian meant by the talk? What the fu… a faint memory of her and Sebastian in the back of the chauffeured car was creeping in. The sex talk, she had told him they needed to have a sex talk and he had said something about learning that in school. Think, think! That was all she could come up with by the time she got to the gym. 

On her way home from her training session, wanting to die from exhaustion and the growing panic about her date that night, her phone rang the familiar ringtone of Black Sabbath’s Iron Man. “Hey Robert” she hit the blue tooth button and thought ouch even my fingers hurt 

“What did you do?” and she smiled to herself, the delivery must have been made, she had sent him a very expensive thank you gift for the night before.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“You know you don’t owe…”

“…You anything” she finished for him “I know but I wanted to and besides it’s not for you it’s for Susan for keeping you busy so you stop butting into my life.” 

“not gonna happen darling, but good try.”

“You don’t know how many times I wish I would have just picked a different chair that day.” She said shaking the steering wheel with both hands pretending to hit her head on the top.

“Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better, but what would you do without me?”

“Oh, so many, many things” “ouch” she whimpered as her abs yelled at her.

“So, how’d it go last night?”

“Uh, you know, I humiliated myself on TV, then flirted with a way-too-young-for-me man, watched my best friend die a painfully sad death, my hero get his happy ending by leaving his best friend behind and then you know got drunk, went home, typical night for me.”

“Sounds about right but I’m really hoping you’re leaving out a few steps there at the end.”

“What do you want to know?” she knew what he wanted to hear but she wasn’t going to make it easy for him. 

“Spill it, why do you always have to be such a giant pain in the ass.” She heard Susan call out “Hi Brodie thank you for the lovely gift” in the background “see, she didn’t know who I was talking to until she heard pain in the ass.” 

“We went to the club on Sunset where Dee works…” she could feel his disapproval and rising anger “…it was fine she didn’t do anything” 

“mmmmh” he answered angry at the mention of her name.

“anyway,” she continued “we, you know, got drunk, danced and…” she trailed off 

“...and?”

“I don’t know like we made out that’s all”

“Wow, hot” he said deadpan “but that means you must really like him”

“Why would you say that?”

“You’re taking it slow”

“I’ve known him for less than 24 hours” she argued

“I’m just saying that’s never been a problem before”

“Dude!” she said in a warning tone

“You forget I know you well”

“Yeah, you forget I know you well”

“I’m just saying I don’t remember you being so picky” (he pretended to cough and said “dee”)

“Really? You know what I remember?”

“I’m sure I don’t want to know”

“Remember that time we went to Mexico…”

“Alright, that’s enough…”

“…and there was, what, 3 or 4 of those…”

“…reminiscing time over…”

“…was that a donkey or a mule I always get them confused?”

“Yep, we’re done.” he paused for a few beats “and it was a donkey.”

“Look I don’t know. I think I like him; I mean my body likes him, but he’s so young”

“Jesus fucking Christ Brodie, you are the only one who cares about that!” then she heard him say muffled as he covered the phone “sorry, sorry, daddy didn’t mean it.”

“I’m the only one who cares because I’m the only one who has to be willing to go balls out in front of a very young, very beautiful, very famous man and things aren’t all as high up as they used to be, you know.” 

“First of all, you are smoking hot…” 

“yeah what do you know? You’re even older than me of course I look good to you.”

“secondly” he said ignoring what she just said “Fuck what he may or may not think. I mean if he is turned off by you in anyway then you could have fooled me.” He waited to make her think about his words. “tell me bambola, how do you feel?” He called her bambola when he couldn’t grab her hand as the safe word, it was a nickname he made from her real last name Bambolina; he had picked up some Italian on a movie he did in the 90’s. He was one of only a handful of people who even remembered ‘Lee’ was Dave’s name, even Duncan forgot sometimes.

“I can’t stop thinking about it. It was good. I mean for the first down it was damn good.”

“Well at least you’re up at bat”

“We’ve talked about the baseball metaphors. Brodie likes Football!” she stressed in the third person.

“I know football only. Man wait until Evans and Mackie find out you’re a ‘Skins fan! Can’t wait to see it.”

“Whatever”

“That reminds me, Friday afternoon bar-b-que and then karaoke night party here with the gang before they all have to go back to their real lives. I expect you and Sebastian here.”

“Uh, I don’t…”

“That wasn’t a question darling. Thanks again. Love you.”

“Love you too.” She said to the already disconnected line.

She went to band rehearsal, after going home to change and taking a lot of Advil. Fortunately, she was a highly trained road musician who could be on a bender for days and still function musically. Maybe that was ‘unfortunately’, she thought. Dave arrived before her. He always had the attitude like she was late and he knew it bugged her. Sure, let’s not bring up the years of scraping your ass of the sidewalk because you were too high to open the studio door, she thought.  
“oh, hey, you’re finally here” Dave greeted her.

“yes, I’m only 12 minutes early. What a tragedy.” She said cranky from the sore muscles.

“How’d it go, last night? How was the movie?” he asked jumping up to sit on the edge of the practice stage.

“It was great. I really liked it.” She said as enthusiastically as she could muster. “It’s…I can’t really say anything without giving away stuff.” She shrugged

“Yeah, don’t tell me! I just want to know if it’s good or not.”

“It’s excellent” she said thinking of how Sebastian held her hand through most of it. “So, have we decided on what song will be the opener yet?” she asked hopping up to sit on the stage next to him.

“Naw, not yet. Malcolm still wants to open to a banger but I like the idea of a slow build.”

“Well I was thinking about it, why not do ‘Higher’ but we can start it out slower like the demo and then build it.”

“That’ll work! Awesome! you get on that.” He said pleased like he came up with it.

“sure yeah, no problem” she rolled her eyes.

“So, Stephanie was still going on about that guy this morning. She showed me the pictures you sent her.”

“Yeah I texted her this morning when she was on her way to school, I got home late last night and didn’t want to wake her up.” She lied, you totally forgot because you were making out with Bucky Barnes. She thought to herself.

“He’s so young. What is he 20 – 21?” She knew where this was going. He was fishing for information.

“Yeah I guess, I didn’t really ask him.” Liar! He’s 36. 

“Steph said he was talking about you?” why does this matter to him?

“Nah, he just heard about the tattoo I have of his character and wanted to see it. No big deal.” And then he asked you to dinner and put his hand on the small of your back and you made out with him, a lot, in the back of a car. “he was sweet and said he thought it looked good.”

“he’s the guy from the tattoo?” She knew he was lying now. 

“Ah yeah, I mean he’s the actor that plays the guy from my tattoo.” She said dismissively.  
“hmph” said Dave. Finally, Malcom and Jeremy showed up together and rehearsal got started. She left early, at noon, hoping to get a nap in before she met up with Sebastian, but the tempo change would not stop nagging her and she ended up doing that instead.

At around 3:30 Sebastian texted  
S- Hey, Evans wants your number so he can send you some pictures, Ok?  
B- Sure  
S- I’m assuming these are pictures from last night and not (eggplant emoji)  
B- well I’m hoping they’re the (eggplant emoji) hubba hubba!  
S- (Angry face emoji x10)  
B- Cap gave Sam the shield but kept the sword  
S- Christ! I just choked on my drink  
B- Sorry when Brodie gets nervous, Brodie gets sarcastic and Brodie talks about herself in the third person  
S- Why is Brodie nervous? Crap now Seb is doing it!  
B – Nothing just a date with a guy  
S- The stalker from last night?  
B- Yeah, I know you tried to warn me but he’s really super cute.  
S- Yeah? Good to know that cute guy > safety  
B- Ok but cute guy + good kisser + DRANKS = (Eggplant emoji)  
S- God damn it I can’t argue that. 

Brodie’s phone alerted with a new text from an unfamiliar number.  
#- Hey it’s Chris Evans got your number from Seb, want the pictures from yesterday?  
B- Hey Cap, I would love them, thanks.  
B- Sorry I just realized I called you Cap not Chris (Blushing emoji)  
C- lol I didn’t even notice and it’s fine.  
B- I’ll send you the ones I have too if you want  
C- Yes! Please!

S- I’ll send you the restaurant I’m taking you to.  
B- What huh? I’m looking at (American flag, sword)  
S- Can you hold on a sec I need to go kill Evans  
B- NO I’m kidding  
B- Oh that’s too fancy.  
S- Only the best for you Doll.  
B- That’s really sweet but not necessary.  
S- Shhhh! My mother raised me to be a gentleman.  
B- Oh yeah, I remember her from grade school we were good friends  
S- In Romania?  
B- No in a cave, we used to ride dinosaurs together  
S- Ima tell her you say hi. Besides first dates should be special. Sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you at 6 Doll.

At 5pm she called Ellie “Dude I’m in a total panic spiral!”  
“ok, relax, what’s the matter?”  
“I don’t know what to wear” she was pacing in front of the closet

“Oh, well, you look good in everything” Ellie said sweetly

“Please don’t be supportive Ellie. Please be you-look-stupid-in-that Ellie”

Ellie laughed. “ok. Why don’t you wear that vintage dress the baby blue one that looks like it came from the 40’s?”

“It is from the 40’s, but yeah I like that one, it has pockets.”

“Problem solved! Brodie just breathe” Ellie could feel the panic through the phone

“I just am not good on the one on one stuff, and talking, and not being a dork.”

“I will never understand how you can perform in front 60,000 people but one guy at a restaurant makes you panic.”

“I can’t either, but if you figure it out let me know.”

The doorbell rang right at 6pm. 

Damn, on the dot! she thought.


	11. Bohemian Rhapsody

She opened the door and he stood there with that beautiful happy smile, his hands behind his back. He was wearing a navy-blue suit, crisp white shirt, and blue stripped tie. He looked, well, he looked perfect. 

‘Hi’ he said kind of shyly.

“Hello Sebastian” she said matching his tone.

“You look amazing.” His eyes scanned her up and down. “These are for you.” He said as he pulled a perfect bouquet of pink and white flowers from behind his back. He looked incredibly adorable holding them out to her with both hands his head slightly tilted downwards as he looked up at her through his long dark lashes. 

“Thank you so much, they’re perfect.” Is what Brodie said out loud but, in her head, she was thinking “uh oh, he is even more freaking adorable then last night! Danger!” 

“come in for a second so I can put them in some water” she led him through her house to the kitchen.

Shit, shit do I even have a vase? When was the last time someone brought me flowers? Probably before Sebastian was born. Nope, not going to think about the age thing again.  


She quickly mentally scanned her kitchen cabinets for a vase, or a big cup, (would a bowl work?) Ah! Glass pitcher, that’ll do it! she walked over to the cabinet with the pitcher in it and then remembered it was on the top shelf and she was short. She stretched up on her tip toes to try to reach it, if I could just pull it far enough forward with the tips of my fingers so it would fall off the shelf and I could catch it…

“Here, let me” Sebastian was suddenly behind her, he reached up over her out stretched arm and easily grabbed the pitcher. The front of his body briefly pressed against her back. 

“Thanks”

“Well, at first I was curious how that was gonna play out but then I thought if it falls on your head you're gonna bleed all over that beautiful dress.” He smirked.

“Yeah, probably a good call”

“No worries short stuff” she glared at him. He smiled that giant grin. Oh man, she thought, that must get him out of so much trouble.

She put the flowers in the pitcher and filled it with water. She couldn’t help it and she buried her face in them and took a long inhale. The pitcher made a great vase and she placed it carefully on the kitchen counter. These were going in her bedroom when she got home so she could see them first thing. She realized that such a simple gesture on his part made her feel so damn happy. Looking up she noticed he was intensely staring at her. She walked over to him, got up on her tip toes, and kissed him lightly on the cheek. He turned his head so their mouths lined up and gently kissed her. “Thank you” she said as she looked deep into his stunning eyes. 

He stood perfectly still like he was put on pause, holding his breath. He eyes darkened for just a second. They both stepped back at the same time as if the heat between them had burned them both. 

“You’re welcome” he quietly croaked out. “Um, let me just grab my sweater and we can go.” she said a little bit too cheerily and uneven.

Sebastian, forever a gentleman, opened the car door for her when they got outside. He held his hand out to steady her as she got in the passenger’s seat. After making sure she was safely tucked in, he closed the door and went around the back of the car to the driver’s side. As he opened the door, he reached behind the driver’s seat for something. Settling himself into the driver’s position he turned to her, holding a single perfectly formed white tulip tied with a delicate pink ribbon between them, he tipped it forward to lightly brush against the tip of her nose. It made her giggle. Giggle? I am not a girl that giggles. The sound made Sebastian light up as she took the tulip from his out stretched hand. 

“How did you know that white tulips are my favorite?” she asked.

“I didn’t.” he shrugged “I just thought that one was so perfect it looked like you.” 

She felt herself blush, a heat that spread from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. Oh, this boy was gonna get laid! She realized he was looking at her like he was waiting for an answer.

“Uh, ha, what?” she stumbled out

“Seat belt?” he said raising his eyebrows.

“oh yeah, sure.”

He waited a few seconds.

“put. it. on?” He said carefully.

She put on her seat belt and Sebastian started the car. He looked over at her for a second trying to figure out what it was she was so deep in thought about. Thank god he can’t read my thoughts. Her very dirty, very inappropriate thoughts about her and him and a perfect tulip… Damn it! Focus! She swore his cologne was some kind of mindfuck chemical that made her ache in very sensitive areas. She used her old singing trick to stop thinking about something and having a full-blown panic attack and started to mentally sing Boeheim Rhapsody by Queen. All the harmonies and complicated changes in measures made her focus in and relax. It was weird, but it worked. She started at the operatic part. “I see a little silhouetto of a man…”

“Are you comfortable? Do you need me to turn off the A/C?” he asked

“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” “Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango…”

“You sure? Because you look like you’re cold”

“do I?” “… Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very,…” she realized she was almost balled up hugging herself tightly with her face scrunched up. She took a deep breath and tried to at least look relaxed on the outside.

“Sorry, I was singing in my head. I do that sometimes. Occupational hazard.” Brodie said chuckling.

He smiled “this car has a stereo” he said and pointed to it. 

“wow, really? Holy crap! You’re pretty fancy, huh?” she said dripping with sarcasm.

“Yes” he grinned “I know new technology can be frightening for you seniors. Don’t worry I’ll help you through it” he patted her hand.

She rolled her head to face him, put on a giant fake smile, and flipped him off with both hands.  
He laughed, throwing his head back on the head rest like full fucking gangster. “(Galileo) Galileo, (Galileo) Galileo,” she sang furiously in her head. 

“Is it a new song? One that you’re working on?” he asked

“Aaahhhh, no.” she said “Not my song” 

“What then?”

“Never mind,” she waved it off “it’s just this stupid thing I do when I’m trying to think, or not think, or calm down, or whatever.” Why are you telling him this? “What restaurant are we going to again?” she said trying to change the subject.

“Brodie, what song?” he was not going to let this go apparently.

“Just an old song that is complicated and has a lot of harmonies to try to figure out.” she tried for vague to satisfy his curiosity.

“Why don’t you want to tell me the song?” now he was really interested.

“I don’t know, it’s weird. It’s my weird coping mechanism. We just met, I try to keep the crazy hidden until at least the third or fourth date.” she realized that she had never told anybody about the Bohemian Rhapsody thing. Not even that she sang something in her head to calm her anxiety. Why did you just tell him that?

“Oh see, I like to hear the crazy on the first or second date.” He teased and then more seriously “Tell me” It was the earnest look in his eyes that did it, as he stared at her at the red light. 

“Bohemian Rhapsody” she said barely audible. Her cheeks turning a deep red.

He reached over and squeezed her hand as the light turned green. He began to push the buttons on the steering wheel and seconds later the sweet harmony of Queen started to play. ”is this the real life…” she chuckled and shook her head embarrassed and sort of touched by his simple acceptance of her crazy confession. Don’t fall for him. Don’t fall for him Brodie, but if she was honest it was too late.

By the time the second verse was playing he was singing along. God he is an awful singer. So out of tune that it hurt her very trained ears, but he was so joyful in it that she couldn’t help but watch him and giggle. He glanced over at her happy to make her laugh at his less than stellar serenade. He was just happy to make her look so delighted with him and to see her physically relax like she had done for him last night. She had to hand it to him, he had zero embarrassment and the actor in him made for a dramatic performance in such a confined space. When it came to the rock part Brodie sang along with him, not quite as enthusiastic as him, but it was fun. As the song wound down and it was just Freddie’s impeccable voice softly singing “Nothing really matters, anyone can see…” Sebastian stopped singing along and listened to her croon the ending with Freddie. They had arrived at the restaurant and he was just staring at her, listening. She came out of the little trance she’s in when she’s really trying to connect to the song and looked over at him softly smiling. He put his hand under her chin and pulled her towards him gently, lightly pressing his mouth to hers. “beautiful” he said against her lips and slowly backed away. Of all the accolades and titles thrown her way, raves and glowing reviews, this one simple word, spoken quietly to only her, was the only one that ever mattered.


	12. 5 Questions

Once they were seated and had decided on what they wanted, they waited for the server.

“I got an interesting call from RDJ today.”

“Oh yeah? Lucky, I got a very dull and annoying one from him.”

“He uh, invited us to his house on Friday. Actually, more like demanded our attendance?”

“Yeah, that’s Robert, He said the same to me we don’t have to he’ll get over it”

“No, I want to go. With you. That wasn’t the interesting part.”

“Hmmmm?”

“Yeah he said…” he looked up closing his eyes to get the exact words. “’If I ever take you to that mother fucking shithole (he whispered the swearwords because the other tables were close) of a bar again, he will kick my ass.’ Or something close to that. Then he said 'got it?' and I said ‘yeah' he said 'Good. Good talk, see you Friday’ and hung up.”

She sighed. “Sorry, he can be a…what’s the word…. a total asshole sometimes.” Brodie did not whisper.

He looked at her questioningly wanting an explanation.

“You remember the bartender Dee?”

“Yeah” he said it slowly and little drawn out

“It’s a long story, but let’s just say Robert does not enjoy her company.”

“Ok. No problem. I will never take you there again.” He said mildly

“You know he’s not the boss of you? or me for that matter.”

“To tell you the truth, I didn’t really like her either.”

“You met her for like a minute.”

“Ok let me rephrase, I didn’t like the way she looked at you.” 

“How was that, exactly?” she was curious as to what he could have seen in that little time.

“Like…” he sighed “a meal ticket” She was kind of stunned at the accuracy of his observation

“Wow, you’re pretty good at that! Is it some Romanian, Transylvania, magic? Cause I would be down with that.” He just sighed again.

“Transylvania is vampires. Wanna tell me about it?” he asked earnestly

“Not tonight. But. Maybe. Sometime.” She shrugged

“ok” He said it lightly and then dropped it. She kept waiting for him to go back around to it but he didn’t. He didn’t her tell that Robert had also told him a lot about her ex-husband Dave and how he had treated her, and although he barely knew her, there was a part of him that wanted to rip Dave in half for it. 

They made their order and Sebastian was having a hard time waiting because he said he skipped lunch. She heard his stomach rumble.

“How about this to take your mind off the food? Robert and I made up this game called 5 questions.”

“Only 5 not 20?” 

“Well, we started with 20, then did 10, but we found that 5 was all we could get through without killing each other or me making him cry.”

He laughed “ok. How does it work?”

“Each of us get 5 chances to ask the other person a question, but you also have to answer the question you ask. You can pass on answering any question, but then you lose a question and the other person gets one. If you don’t have any more questions to give up and you want to pass, then you have to confess something embarrassing about yourself.” 

“Sounds fun”

“You say that now. Oh, and I forgot the Susan rule. We are only allowed to play this once per 24- hour period or Susan gets to knock our heads together.” 

“Sounds less fun now, but let’s do it.”

“Ok, you first”

“Um, where were you born?”

“Phew, this is gonna be way less intense than usual” she said with relief 

“Maybe…” he teased. 

“I was born in cave 7, that was the hospital cave, right next to a hatching allosaurus. We kept in touch until he went extinct. It was sad.” Sebastian just looked at her straight faced “No, I was born in New Jersey.”

“Really? I thought you were from here. From California.” 

“I know the answer, but you have to answer it too”

“oh yeah. I was born in Romania, Constanta.”

“Uh, who’s your favorite band?” after Brodie asked it, she wished she didn’t, she was afraid he would feel like he had to say her’s.

“Yours. Well ‘you’ specifically.” 

She rolled her eyes “No really. I don’t expect you to say me.”

“Really. I told you I was a fan since high school. I wasn’t lying”

“Fine” she wasn’t convinced. “This is always so hard for me to pick one, uhhhh, let’s say Bowie because…well because he’s Bowie.”

“Ok. What made you want to be a musician?” Thank fuck he said musician and not rock star she thought.

“Honestly, Joan Jett.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, I wanted to rock and all the really cool bands were guys. Then I saw The Runaways and they kicked ass, and they were all girls. I was like 9 or 10 and it changed my life. Plus, Joan is just a badass. All these record companies turned down her solo album, and so she just started her own label and then had a giant hit record. Plus, for someone like me, not really girly or feminine, to see someone like her I felt, I don’t know, represented, I guess. Same question, what made you want to be an actor?”

“My mom.”

“Aw! That’s so cute. She must be super proud of you.”

He blushed. “she just thought it would be something I would like, and when for a little while I didn’t, she was ok with it, and then when I missed it, she helped me get back into it.”

“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re so lucky to have such a good mom who didn’t push too hard but was there for you.”  
“Yeah, I am. I love her very much; she gave me everything. She’s a musician too, piano. She is gonna love meeting you. She thinks you’re a very good pianist.” He got emotional talking about her and Brodie thought it was so endearing.

“Wow, that’s… that means a lot coming from someone I would assume is trained?”

“Yeah”

“I just kinda taught myself how and then would pick anyone’s brain who can play, for help.”

“Well she will help you if you like it or not.” Brodie decided to just skip over the whole ‘meeting his mother’ thing because she was determined to not freak out about the age difference again.

“Ahhhh, let’s see, nope don’t wanna answer that, hmmm, favorite movie you’ve ever been in?

“Oh man! That is so hard to pick. I can’t, I mean they all mean different things for me. How about I tell you what my favorite song of yours is and you tell me what your favorite movie of mine is?”

“Ok I’ll allow it.”

“Your solo album”

“You said ‘song’ that’s the whole thing, not one.”

“I can’t pick one, I love the whole thing. You’ll just have to live with it. I can’t wait until you make another one.”

“Everybody says that for some reason.”

“Maybe because we can’t wait. For you. To make. Another one.” He said slowly like she was a toddler. She sneered at him.

“You already know mine.” She said tapping her left shoulder.

“favorite besides Winter Soldier”

“Uhhh, I really liked I, Tonya, you were brilliant in that and I really hated you, no wait! The Bronze! That character was such a douche bag, but the sex scene, yowzah! Oh, wait the Martian was good too…”

“Just one!”

“I can’t I love all your movies. You are a brilliant actor. You’ll just have to live with it.” He turned multiple shades of red. 

The food finally came and Sebastian tried so hard to not devour it immediately. His mom raised him well, he was so polite and most importantly kind to the servers. Once, they got settled eating Brodie said “Ok this is what 3? Your turn again.”

“Ahhh, damn this is harder than it sounds at first!”

“Yeah, because you have to find a question you’re also willing to answer.”

“I know it really limits what you can ask…. Uh, favorite food?”

“Took the easy way out, huh?”

“Yep”

“Coffee” 

“Technically, that’s not food”

“You shut your damn mouth right now!” she whispered sternly. He put his hands up in surrender “Ok. Pizza, Italian food, but pizza in particular. You?”

“I swear to god, doll. I’m not lying. Pizza and coffee.” They high fived discreetly, close to the table top.

“Ok I got one. Why do you call me ‘doll’? 

“Does it bother you?”

“Hey, I’m asking the question! but no, I was just wondering.”

“Well, I don’t really know. It just came out and it seemed to fit you but if you don’t…”

“No. It’s ok. Really. I just was curious because I thought maybe you knew my last name.” 

“Uh, Lee?” he said like she had forgotten

“No, my real last name. Lee is Dave’s last name I kept it after the divorce. A lot of people don’t realize it because he uses his middle name, Michael, and added “s” because he didn’t want to be David Lee like David lee Roth. But now he’s Michael’s like the craft store.” Idiot, she thought.

“I didn’t know that. What is your real last name? Wait that doesn’t count as one of my questions does it?”

“Afraid so, if you want an answer to it, it does.”

“Ok. You answer your own first. Why do you call me ‘Sebastian’ when everyone else calls me ‘Seb’ for short?”

“Uh, well, because everyone else calls you ‘Seb’. I guess I want to not be everyone else to you” she surprised herself with that answer and even more when she realized she had meant it “…and I haven’t come up with a good nickname yet so…”

He smiled and grabbed her hand “I can assure you, you definitely standout. I thought maybe…”

“…finish” she encouraged him

“I thought maybe it was the age thing or something, that you felt like you had to be…” he waved his hand trying to come up with a word.

“Your mom? Your Middle school teacher?” 

“Noooooo. Proper, like stand offish.”

“Oh, nope.”

“So, what is your real last name?”

“It’s Bambolina. It’s Italian, obviously, and roughly translated it means baby doll or little doll. “Bambola is doll and ‘lena or lini’ is little.”

“Say it again?” he leaned closer so he could hear better

“Bam- BO lee-na” she said making an exaggerated emphasis on the ‘BO’

“Bam-BO-lee…” he looked frustrated.

“Na”  
“BamBOleena” he said quickly

“Yeah, not bad” She was used to it being mangled, another reason she kept ‘Lee’

“So, I guess, is Stan your real last name?” 

“Yep”

“Damn, that gave me nothing. Uhhhh, what is one thing that would surprise me about you?”

“Uh, I think it’s more of something embarrassing but all I can think of is I had a poster of you on my ceiling over my bed all through high school” she lifted one eyebrow.

“you did, huh? Why did 16-year-old Sebastian have it on the ceiling over his bed exactly?” he looked towards her arm pointedly 

“so, what was the question again?” she changed the subject quickly.

He laughed. “Surprise me?”

“Uh, oh! I could only speak in Italian until I was in kindergarten.”

“Really? Did you live in Italy?”

“No, I told you New Jersey. I just was raised by my grandma until I was 5 and she spoke Italian so Duncan and I did too. Then I went to kindergarten and all the kids were like ‘EW! She’s weird’ So, I learned English fast and then taught Duncan so he wouldn’t get picked on the next year.”

“That was really nice of you to take care of your brother. I really understand exactly what you went through, coming to the US with a Romanian accent in the middle of the cold war, not fun.”

“Yeah, I bet. I didn’t think about that.” 

“Huh, my turn again”

“Last one. Make it count.”

“Ok,” he motioned for her to lean in so he could whisper in case the table next to them was eavesdropping “Sexual orientation?”

She snorted. “Oh my God, that is usually the first question not the last, but I would say, bisexual but leaning more towards males. So, it’s like a spectrum. Guy/Girl? 60/40 no 70/30 depending on the guy/girl. You?”

“I mean, spectrum wise female/male? 80/20.”

“That’s fair. Ok then I have to ask”

“Uh-oh, what? You said that so seriously” 

“Does it bother you? That I… you know” she waved her hand in the air

“Oh, no not at all. Although I prefer if I was the only guy and then whatever girl is fine.” He started talking faster trying to explain “I mean just that you were only with me as the only guy and then you could…I’m not explaining this right.”

“No, but I think I get it and you’re adorable. You mean you would be ok with me and any female but not me with another male.”

“Right”

“Got it”

“But not if it was you and me and another guy. that is ok. but like not just some rando guy. I’m making it worse.”

“I got it Sebastian. You can stop now.” She was laughing

“Really? because I feel like I didn’t explain it right and you think that I’m…”

“No, you did, I promise, threesome fine, girl/girl fine, guy without you present not so much.”

“Yes.” He seemed relieved that she understood him.

“I can live with that, as long as you do too. No other girl without me there.”

“Deal”

They shook on it.

“So, was that the sex talk you meant last night?”

“Uh, part of it”

“There’s more?” He said raising his eyebrows “Awesome!”

“Ah yeah but 5 questions are over, so too bad”

“Damn it! I knew I wasted one with favorite food”

She laughed.


	13. Can I Go Now, Scooby Doo?

They decided to go to her place to have coffee instead of staying at the restaurant or going anywhere loud. They were both running on little sleep from the previous night and they really were having fun talking to each other. He sang again on the way back to her house and although she liked him more and more with each minute, he was still an awful singer. Somehow, he made her want to be there in that car listening to his tone deafness until her ears gave out. He was just having so much fun. 

When they arrived at her house and she went to unlock her front door he stopped her. He didn’t say anything he just put his hands on her hips and pulled her in close and kissed her. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Damn it was even better sober.

She made coffee and Sebastian walked around slowly inspecting the living room looking at pictures and books on the shelves. He paused at the shelf full of action figures picking up a tiny replica of himself as The Winter Soldier holding his weapon. “Aren’t you supposed to keep these in the original package?” he asked her as she set two big coffee mugs on the table. 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged “they’re worth more?” 

“But then I can’t play with them and put them in weird sexual poses” she teased. 

“Aw, poor little Bucky. I’ll save you.” He said to the action figure putting him in his jacket’s breast pocket, the upper body peeking out. “You’ll be safe here little buddy” he patted the tiny head. 

“That’s my little Bucky” she said reaching for it. He pulled back so she couldn’t reach him. 

“You can’t have him back until you promise to be nice to him.” He said slowly backing away as she started to chase him. 

“Fine.” She said moving over to the shelf and opening a small wooden box. Inside were all the alternate parts; guns, hands, and (a little disturbingly) heads. She took out the Bucky head without the soldier mask and held it up to him. “good luck getting him to remember who he is without this one.” 

Sebastian gasped and pretended to shield the dolls eyes “Don’t look little guy! She’s a monster!” she couldn’t help laughing as she put the tiny head in her skirt pocket and sat down on the couch. 

“I have an arm somewhere too.” she threatened. 

“Woah, woah, woah! Hasn’t he seen enough?” he said as he sat down on the couch too. He took the coffee in his right hand turning towards her and casually draped his left arm on the back of the couch. 

“So, I know I used up my 5, but can I ask you a question?” He said carefully. She could tell he had been thinking about how to approach whatever subject he was about to bring up because his right leg began to bounce up and down, a twitch she had as well when she was anxious. Oh boy, this is going to be the sex talk, please don’t be the sex talk, I’m way too tired.. 

“Sure” she tried to sound light about it. 

“your ink” he gestured using the mug he was holding. “I was thinking about it and I couldn’t remember ever seeing it in any pictures before. I told you the crush started in high school so I’ve seen a lot of pictures and video and I saw you live a couple times.” 

“You did?” she said surprised 

“yeah, of course, a couple times with the band and one time solo, but…”

“Wait, how many times?”

“Uh, 4, total.”

“God, I hope they were on a good night.”

“It was fucking amazing and I’m actually having an out of body experience right now thinking about being there and now being here, but…”

“No shit, I get it. I watched Avengers with the Avengers.” 

“…BUT,” he stressed trying to focus back on his point “I don’t remember seeing it and I think I might have noticed my face at least once.” He looked at her like a detective would, trying to get her to confess something. 

“ok and your point is, Sherlock?”

“how long have you had it?” 

“uh, right after I saw The Winter Soldier movie.” She started to feel like a suspect and picked up her coffee so she had something to do with her hands. 

“So, 4 or 5 years, roughly?” 

“yeah I guess, inspector gadget” Do I need a lawyer, she thought, where are we going with this? 

“See I thought maybe around that time because of the one part, so I was looking on the internet today for pictures of you since then…” 

“you were looking on the internet? Today? For pictures of me?” he nodded “What kind of pictures?” 

“Naked……arm pictures” he paused a full second after naked. 

“Well that was a waste of time, you won’t find any” 

“Yeah see, that’s the thing.” He said putting down his mug and scooting closer to her “why?” 

“because I never show it” she said matter of fact. “mystery solved; can I go now, Scooby Doo?” 

“no. Why don’t you show it?” I wish this was the sex talk, I’d be more comfortable with the sex talk. She shrugged. The guy has a right to ask a question about it, it is his likeness.

“Because” she said on a sigh “two reasons I guess.” He lifted his chin in a gesture that said go on. “Bucky, the character, the whole winter soldier story, it’s really personal to me so the tattoo is really personal as well.” 

He nodded in understanding “and the second reason?” 

“well, honestly, you.” 

“me?” he looked puzzled 

“yeah, I just thought how weird would it be if you somehow saw it on the internet” she emphasized the word to make a point “I didn’t want to embarrass you, or start a thing, or like creep you out.” 

“Well thank you for that, because having my face branded on a smart, interesting, talented, incredibly beautiful woman who I’ve been dreaming about since I was 14, is creepy. Especially since it basically tells other guys,” he corrected himself “people, to back off. Sucks to be me!” he said sarcastically shaking his head. He rubbed his hand down his face. 

She knew he was being sarcastic but she couldn’t help notice that he said smart first. Not sexy, not rich, not famous, but smart. She couldn’t think of anything to say so she just shrugged. He chuckled, shaking his head “Don’t hide it because of me anymore. You have my blessing to show it off. What about Bucky, the character, why him?” 

This was actually the hard part for Brodie to talk about. She realized that only two people really got it: Robert and Duncan. One she had told long ago during a night of confessions and bonding with a lot of cigarettes and coffee. He understood because he had his own demons he was working through. The other one she didn’t have to tell because he was there right in the thick of it with her and he had the same demons. She tried to decide if she was going for the short answer that everyone got from her or if she wanted to take that step with him.


	14. That’s why it’s Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brodie begins to talk about her childhood trauma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all thanks to everyone who has read this. This is my first written work so I appreciate you taking the time.  
This chapter includes reference to personal trauma so please be aware. Also things are gonna heat up from here too so heads up.  
<3

She didn’t know where to start so…

“Everyone” she started slowly, Sebastian’s big blue eyes staring into hers softly urging her on “has times when they have to do things they don’t want to. Everyone has to do the dishes, or laundry or whatever stupid little things that they hate doing. Some people have to do things that are harder to face like a business meeting when they have to lay people off or telling their wife they cheated before their mistress does. Stuff they are pushed into that seems like the worst thing ever but is a necessary evil, let’s say.” He nodded in understanding. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; she barely registered that Sebastian had taken the coffee mug out of her hand and put it on the table. “A few of us, find ourselves in a place where surviving is all there is.” The fact that she had changed from them to us didn’t escape him. “There is no choice and we are forced to say things, or do things, or be some-thing just to survive. Problem is, you’re still you. You still know that the things are…. wrong” she waved her hands trying to find the right word. “but you don’t have the luxury to stop. It’s either doing the things or getting hurt or even dying. So, you take that part that is you and push it down into a small ball deep inside and you hope that one day you’ll be able to rescue it, but the only way to protect it is to surround it in layers of numbness and pain and anger. The times in-between the things, well...” she struggled to find the right way to say it and he gently took her hand “you just try to be sleeping or something like that, something that you can just not think or feel mostly during it because those are the times that the things haunt you. If you’re very lucky, one day, a light finds you and you fucking run towards it because you know this is the only chance. You run and you don’t stop until you collapse. Maybe you find a safe place or at least a safe enough place, so you can slowly start to work on the protective layers. Little by little the you that was protected starts to become bigger than the things you did. But.” She sighed heavily he noticed there were no tears he could hear her pain, hear her tears but they didn’t form in her eyes. “No matter how far you’ve gone or how long it’s been you always know that you did those things, forced or not, those things are on your soul. You always know that it makes you less than everyone else. I was lucky, I had Duncan to remind me who I am and…. Damn it I just realized he’s my Steve.” She tried to make it feel lighter in the room “That makes Robert, what? my Falcon? Christ don’t tell him that.” She realized she had been sitting with her head down, chin to chest, legs crossed on the couch facing Sebastian. His hands were gently but firmly holding hers. She gained the courage to look up at him to see how disgusted he was with her now. She tried to be vague but he had to know it was bad and it was her actions, her body. She looked at him. Tears silently coming down his cheeks as he just sat listening. Quietly, she said looking him straight in the eyes “That’s why it’s Bucky”

They sat motionless letting the story just sit between them. Sebastian didn’t say anything, didn’t try to do the customary comfort you move and tell her it’s ok or try to give her the dreaded ‘chin up, stiff upper lip, look how far you’ve come’ speech that is really a way to make the other person ok with what you just confessed. He just sat, very still, holding her hands and looking into her eyes letting her just be. It was everything, she didn’t even know that was what she needed. Don’t trust him too much, it’s come back to bite you before.

“at least I still have both arms though.” Brodie said finally needing to break the intimacy. 

“and you weren’t frozen.” He replied “wait you weren’t, were you?” he side-eyed her.

“No. That is definitely not freezer burn on my left ass cheek.” He raised both eyebrows. 

“Oh, that I gotta see!” he pulled her forward by their still connected hands. She laughed as he attempted to turn her over pretending to try and have a look. 

“Stop I can’t breathe” she begged “that tickles” he loosened his grip and she sat up trying to regain composure. Sebastian stood up and removed his suit jacket draping it over the back of the couch. They both stopped at the sound of little Bucky hitting the wood floor. Sebastian’s eyes widened and his mouth hung open “oh no! I think he landed on his head” he moaned. Brodie stuck her hand in her pocket and held up the unmasked head. “Not to worry, he has a spare” 

Suddenly Sebastian’s arms are wrapped around her waist, he lifted her up and then laid her down on her back on the couch, climbing on top of her. His hands slid up her back until the bend in his elbows were hooked in the pit of her arms his hands coming up to support the back of her head, thumbs caressing the sides of her face. He rested his forehead on hers, eyes closed. She felt his heart pounding against her left breast. She suddenly needed him, a need she hadn’t felt in forever, if ever, not lust, but she couldn’t name it. She clasped her hands together behind his head tilting it so that she could reach her lips to his. There was one long, sweet, tender kiss, and as their lips parted for just a second it was as if a starting bell had rung and suddenly, they were both desperate to devour each other. As they hungrily kissed, lips and tongues and heavy breathing, Brodie dipped her elbows between his arms wrapping her arms around his waist pulling him down. She needed to feel his body heavy on hers. 

Sebastian bit her bottom lip and pulled it slightly testing her approval, she pulled her head back as he held her lip in his teeth signaling for harder. She groaned and he instantly got the message. He grabbed her head pulling it back further and bit the line of her left jaw moving to her upper neck and biting there and then the curve where her neck met her shoulder. She moaned his name softly and he drug his teeth lightly across her throat to her other shoulder and bit down. She realized that he was testing how hard he could bite without hurting her. When his mouth traveled back up to her right jaw line she whispered ‘harder’ and he bit down the hardest yet. ‘wait’ she said suddenly remembering she had a meeting in the morning with her band, including her ex-husband and a bunch of record execs. “don’t mark my face, meeting tomoro…” he cut her off by sticking his tongue in her mouth exploring. She could feel his hardness pressing against the top of her right hip bone. 

He suddenly lifted his mouth from hers dragging his tongue down her chin and throat leaving a wet line, coolness traveled the line after his tongue and he buried his face between her breasts resting his forehead on her breastbone. He laid there breathing heavy, she could tell he was trying to control himself. He pulled back sitting back on his heels above her. He covered his face with both hands rubbing it and then running them through his hair. “I’m sorry” he said squeezing his eyes shut. “If I don’t stop now, I won’t be able to.” She pulled herself up to a seated position, back against the opposite sofa arm. Both of them were leaning back away from each other as if they were afraid that they would be sucked back together. “it’s ok. I wouldn’t be able to either” she panted. They smiled at each other. “I just don’t want to rush it and we both have to get up really early tomorrow and we had less than 2 hours of sleep last night.” she couldn’t tell if he was trying to talk her or himself down. “Plus, we didn’t have the sex talk and you made me promise we would have it first.” What the fuck drunk me now sober me isn’t getting any 

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asked as he got up and turned to adjust his member with his back to her. 

“I’m not doing anything that can’t wait.” Actually, she had no idea if she had plans because she couldn’t think about anything but the feel of him on top of her. Fuck it, whatever it is it could be changed. 

“ok so can I see you tomorrow night? Wait what are your plans the next day?” 

“nothing that’s my day off” he smiled so big she thought she could see all his teeth, even the molars. “Mine too.”   
He grabbed his jacket from where he left it. “oops, almost forgot this little guy” he said leaning over to pick up little Bucky searching for the plastic weapon that had slid along the floor. 

“What the fuck? You can’t have him” she said getting up as he held the tiny gun up in triumph. He put the toy in his pants pocket this time. 

“Collateral” he said “this way you want to see me again” he backed up towards the front door.   
She looked from him to the couch and back “Dude, what just happened right there didn’t show you I want to see you again?” 

“yeah, but it’s always good to have a little insurance.” He smirked “besides, little Bucky deserves to have an adventure”


	15. You know, Nadia

After he was gone, the house silent except the soft ticking of the Mickey Mouse clock on one of the shelves, she sat down on the couch in the spot where Sebastian had been quietly listening to her and finally let the tears come and she hated every second of it.

Her phone signaled a text, it was a picture from Sebastian of Little Bucky buckled into the passenger’s seat where she had been not that long ago. She laughed and texted him back saying he better not be driving and texting and he replied “red light”. She didn’t hear from him again until she had gotten into bed her eyes swollen and red. 

He sent her a picture of little Bucky tucked into the hotel bed, hugging his weapon. 

S- Noapte bună he texted  
B- noapte bună și vise plăcute to you too lil Bucky.  
S- WTF?  
B- Did I forget to tell you I can speak Romanian a little?  
S - Uh, yes! You did forget that! GREAT, my hard on is back now! 

she laughed so hard she almost dropped the phone on her face. She sent the shrugging girl emoji. 

B- Dude I have a lot of time on my hands on the tour bus and I speak fluent Italian it’s close so…and you know, Nadia.  
S- No, I don’t know Nadia. 

Why is he so cute when he’s clueless?

B- No, I mean Nadia Comaneci?  
S- uh, the gymnast?  
B- Yeah!  
S- I am so lost right now  
B- That’s why I learned Romanian  
S- You learned to speak Romanian because of Nadia Comaneci?  
B- Dude, yeah! She got a perfect 10  
S- WTF?  
B- Every girl my age wanted to be Nadia after the Olympics. I am too clumsy so speaking Romanian was the next best thing. You can’t tell me there aren’t a bunch of people learning Romanian because of you.  
S- I have no words  
B- I get that a lot. Rethinking that whole insurance so I’ll see you again thing?  
S- Nope, not even a little. hey, one more thing.  
B- ??  
S- Thanks for trusting me. I promise I won’t ever tell anyone else what you told me  
B- I know that or I wouldn’t have told you. Thank you for telling me stuff I can offer to the highest bidder on the internet. Fangirls we stick together.

Damn it she always had to go for sarcasm when it got too close to intimacy.

B- I’m sorry I was just kidding. I really am thankful to you for listening to me and not running out the door screaming, yet. I would never tell a soul anything you tell me. I swear.  
S- I know. I’m not going anywhere.  
B- besides I have way more on Downey and that would bring in the big bucks! 

Fuck! Stop! Be an adult for 5 minutes Brodie!

B- Look that stuff I told you about my… about me? Nobody else knows that except my brother and Robert. They don’t even know the Bohemian Rhapsody thing, just you. It makes me feel a little vulnerable right now so I turn to my superpower, sarcasm”  
S- I get it and I understand. I’m really fucking honored that you would trust me with that. with all of it. I feel kinda weirdly superior to RDJ right now.  
B- yeah well, you should. I’d punch Robert in the face if he even touched my Winter Soldier toy!  
S- Plus Mackie has stuff on me so thanks I just got a gold bargaining chip. 

Oh, my heart! Could he be any more perfect? 

B- Mackie has stuff on me too. 

She was going to have to let him off the hook at some point but she was enjoying teasing him about it too much, he made the most adorable face when she did and she could see it in her mind.

S- what stuff?  
B- what? what stuff?  
S- damn it! Look I respect your reason why you hide that tattoo but you shouldn’t because it’s a symbol of how there’s always a chance of finding a way out and… 

she waited as the typing symbol flashed then went out twice. 

B- AND…??  
S- and it ups my street cred.

somehow, she sensed that wasn’t what he was going to say at first but let it go 

B- I’ll think about it  
S- I’ll think about you  
B- noapte bună  
S- Night Baby Doll

She fell asleep with the smell of his cologne still on her skin and the memory of how his body felt pressed down on hers. Damn now MY hard on is back too was her last thought before drifting off.


	16. Lil' Bucky’s Adventure

All too soon her alarm was going off “mother fucker” she said to the empty room. Sighing, she got out of bed and stretched shuffling into the bathroom to start the shower. Rubbing her eyes, she looked in the mirror and noticed 3 bite marks, one on her left shoulder, one on her right shoulder, and one on her jaw line where she told him to bite harder. Aw fuck, never gonna hear the end of that. Damn it I’m a grown ass adult why do I care? she asked herself as she got in the shower. Cover up, I have cover up. She relaxed in the hot water, mentally ticking off her daily list. Things were starting to ramp up for the summer tour starting with a few gigs in May and kicking off full time with Bonnaroo in June. Yoga, home, breakfast, shower, change, studio, don’t forget to tell Anton about the tempo change in the new opening song that you worked out yesterday, lunch, then the rest of the day in meetings, then Sebastian. She smiled at the end remembering how much fun it was to be with him and how he just made her feel happy and safe and fucking turned on. This is going to be a long day. 

Getting out of the shower she inspected the bite marks again. This time they gave her that feeling in her stomach that happened when he touched her. She went to look for her phone. Sebastian had already sent 3 photos of lil Bucky. One eating breakfast, one brushing his teeth and one in the shower. She was really hoping to see big Bucky in that one but no such luck. 

B- Lil Bucky tell your friend that he left a bite mark on my jaw line.   
S- Uh, sorry   
B- it’s ok I asked for it. I just have to spend most of the day with my ex-husband and he’ll grill me for details   
S- Tell him it’s none of his fucking business   
B- That never works (laughing emoji)  
S- angry face emoji   
S- tell him I was kissing your neck and when I got to your jaw you begged me to bite you harder and I liked it   
B- lol   
S- no, I’m not kidding tell him that. You owe me one, remember?   
B- Damn it, I did make that promise.   
S- and make sure you emphasize begged and that I liked it.   
B- why?  
S- Just trust me  
B- ok but I want a picture of lil Bucky’s friend too. He sent her a picture of him holding the toy up next to his handsome face.   
B- Well this is going to be a long day! she sent him along with a picture of her head slightly tilted so he could see his mark.   
S- fucking fuck! So hot! Yeah, the longest day.

Yoga was torture, she couldn’t concentrate because she just couldn’t stop thinking of the night before. Every time she tried to clear her mind she could almost feel him touching her. Her hand held in his, his hand on the small of her back, his dick pressed against her hip. She lost the pose. “sorry” she told the teacher after class “I was distracted” “No worries” she said “that’s why they call it a practice, and by the bite on your chin there I’d say it’s a happy distraction.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down. “You have no idea!” Brodie said walking out. 

She went home to eat and get ready for the business part of the day. On her phone were pictures of lil Bucky working out at the gym. Then one with Chris smiling holding him against his cheek and one with Mackie holding him upside down by one foot like he smelled. She admired his commitment to chronicling the adventure. 

B- lil Bucky is having more fun than me today.   
S- everything ok?   
B- Oh yeah, I just meant he gets to be with you and I get to be with… she sent him a picture of the empty chair next to her.   
S- Yeah I get to spend the day with… he sent a picture of Mackie obviously in the middle of saying something.   
B- Ok you win. Gotta go   
S- see ya, doll 

She grabbed her things to leave and thought about using the cover up before she did. Fuck it. She left for the studio mentally preparing for rehearsal. 

Two minutes, that’s how long she had peace at rehearsal. As Brodie knew he would, Dave immediately zeroed in on the bite mark. 

“hmmmm, you got something there on your face Bro” he attempted to brush it off she hated when he called her ‘Bro’ “huh, it seems to not want to come off” “Malcom, come here look at this what do you think it is?” 

“Huh, looks like a bite” 

“looks like an animal bite” joined in Jeremy 

“Nope, it’s definitely human” confirmed Malcolm. 

“Are we done?” she asked. All three nodded. “Good, I have to go talk to Anton” 

Rehearsal went mostly smoothly. Dave would throw a thinly veiled jab every once in a while, about biting or teeth or weirdos, but the band had at least half of the show worked out and the rest was close. Lunch was at the lawyer’s office in the large conference room that would be Brodie’s prison for the rest of the day. She checked her phone, when she was as alone as she was gonna get, and more of lil Bucky’s adventure was there. First were pictures of Bucky getting hair and make-up. How the hell did he talk all these people into playing along? Then there was one that stopped her from breathing for a minute, Bucky safely tucked into Sebastian’s pocket. He was wearing a deep green leather coat, lil Bucky peeking out of the breast pocket, and a maroon sweater. Holy fucking shit! And one with Winston Duke leaning over with his head on Sebastian’s shoulder where Lil Bucky sat. Your action figure is getting more action than you today, she thought angrily, stupid lil Bucky. She couldn’t explain why it was making her cranky.

She looked around the room sighing, she caught sight of Dave talking and laughing with one of the suits. Richard? Robert? Rrrrrron? she heard Dave call him Artie. I Wasn’t even close. She hated this schmoozing Dave. She thought about the night before and Sebastian saying he was waiting on another solo album. She heard it all the time and it was constantly brought up in interviews. She wanted to make one, but she was, she didn’t know what. Unmotivated? Too busy? Scared? Fuck, this is what Robert was talking about. She watched Dave cruise the room changing mannerisms for each different set of executive departments. That was how he got her she guessed, pretending to be what she was looking for at the time. Once he had her though, it was all about him. Actually, their relationship was still about him. She wasn’t doing a solo album because she felt guilty. Last time she had stepped out on her own and was successful he almost died. 

She looked back at her phone to the picture of Sebastian, lil Bucky in his pocket. This adventure that Sebastian was dutifully photographing and sending her steadily throughout the day was the most adorable fucking thing anyone had ever done for her. This man was dragging around a tiny replica of himself on a press junket getting his friends and coworkers to take pictures with it to what? make her laugh? have something to text to her? Make sure she wanted to see him again, he had said. She scrolled through the series again, this time laughing at each one appreciating the time he took to actually pose the toy for each different setting. 

Dave sat down next to her. “So, we going to talk about the bite?”   
“No”  
“where did you get it?”   
“it really isn’t any of your business”   
“Yes, it is”  
“how exactly?”  
“first husband privilege, how do I know you aren’t being abused?” he quickly added “Unwillingly” What in the actual fuck? she turned her chair so she was face to face with him. 

“You’re right. You should know. So last night I was lying on the couch underneath Sebastian” she pulled up her sleeve to remind Dave who he was “and we were like going at it, and he was kissing my neck and I realized he was trying to see how hard I could take it, so when I felt his teeth start to nip at my jaw line I couldn’t take it and I begged him “harder”” she said it like she would in bed “because you know, that’s what daddy likes. When I beg. Then when Daddy’s happy I get a reward.” she smiled her wicked, scary smile at him and winked. 

“Isn’t he a little young for you?”

“Bitch, I’m hot as fuck.” She said and turned her chair back

The look on his face was worth everything. Dave shook his head “alright then” was all he said.


	17. Bored, Tired and Sexually Frustrated.

In the middle of the fourth or fifth item on the agenda, Brodie had lost count and she was trying to stay awake, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She took it out and saw that it was a text.

S – I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to decide if I should send this…here goes  
S - I miss you.  
Her heart actually hurt from joy

B – I miss you too.  
and she really meant it, he took a step so…  
B – I really like you.   
her heart pounded as she pushed send. Too soon? Is this too soon?

S – I really like you too.   
She could not stop the smile from spreading across her face.   
S – (gif of man dancing)  
S – Me when you said you like me

B – (gif of Chris Evans looking surprised)  
B – Me when you said you like me too

S – You can’t send me one of my FRIEND  
S – It’s against the rules!

B – (gif of Sebastian Stan confused)

S – God fucking damn it! 

This made her snort, she quickly tried to clear her throat. “Sorry, swallowed funny” she apologized to the room. Next to her, Dave looked at the phone in her lap under the table and gave her a dirty look. “You need to focus” he hissed

B – You’re getting me in trouble in my very important, very boring meeting  
S – Oh very sorry, I will leave you alone  
B – NO! Don’t Please!  
S – I don’t want to bother you  
B – Please don’t go, I’m so bored and I miss you so much.  
S – You know I like it when you beg me and I just want to feel you under me again.  
B – you’re killing me! How much longer? 

Great now she was bored, tired and sexually frustrated.

S – Where’s your meeting?  
B – Downtown near Hollywood Blvd  
S – You’re not too far from my hotel  
B – OMG You’re right. I didn’t think about it  
S – Text me when you’re done, I’ll meet you there. 

Brodie was suddenly extremely motivated to finish the meeting. She fully engaged in all decisions and she kept everyone focused. Finally, it was over and she slipped out while everyone else was chatting and saying their goodbyes. 

B – I’m free!

S – Thank Fuck! Get your ass over here!

B – I can’t wait to see and hold…  
B- lil Bucky

S – Don’t mess with me right now Baby Doll 

B – Or what?

S – Come find out

She drove to the hotel he was staying in and used the valet; Brodie never did that but she didn’t want to waste time finding parking in fucking Los Angeles in rush hour. The nice valet attendant asked her what room she was in. 

“Uhhhh, I haven’t checked in yet.” she lied 

“Oh, let me get your bags.” He said 

“Uhhh, No that’s ok. They’re coming later and I don’t like anyone else touching them because of germs” Thank god for LA and weird Hollywood demands, that would never fly in NYC. She tipped him a lot and he happily gave her a valet ticket.

She walked into the lobby suddenly realizing not knowing his room number meant not knowing how to find him. She started to dig for her phone and then she saw him. He was still wearing the green jacket from the picture. He was sitting on a lobby chair his profile towards her. He was looking down at something in his lap and his knees were wide, right leg tapping up and down quickly. As desperate as she was to be in his arms seconds ago, she stopped to take him in. This man likes me. She smiled wide. 

Something caught his eye and he looked up and then scanned the lobby, his face instantly lighting up when he saw her standing there. He got up and walked quickly to her. 

“Hey Doll” he said wrapping her in his embrace. Ah yeah that’s the smell 

“Fucking hell, what cologne do you wear?” she said against his neck 

“Ermenegildo Zegna Essenze. Why? Don’t like it?” she pulled back to look him in the eye 

“Sebastian, I’m pretty sure that scent alone could get me off” she said and she wasn’t lying. 

He pulled her back in and whispered “mental note, order a shit load of cologne” she laughed. “I’m gonna spray that shit everywhere.” He whispered. She groaned rolling her eyes back.

“wanna go upstairs and make out?” he whispered in her ear 

“Fuck yeah!”


	18. That’s Our Thing

Sebastian grabbed his things from the chair she had found him on, he tucked what she could now see was a stack of pages he had been going over under his arm. They got in the elevator along with 4 or 5 others. Brodie couldn’t think about anything other than his hand on her back. When the doors opened to his floor, they stepped out alone. He grabbed her hand and pulled her quickly down the hallway to his room. As he fumbled for his keycard some of the pages from under his arm slipped onto the floor. Brodie bent to pick them up and saw they were highlighted dialog, a script. 

“New movie?” She asked as she handed them back to him. 

“Yeah, no, it’s the one I’m working on right now.” 

“Oh yeah, what is it?” 

“355” he said as he opened the door and ushered her in “these are just some rewrites I need to have down before I get back.” 

He walked into the room letting the door close behind him. He went to the table and dropped his things down on it and motioned for her to do the same. He took off his jacket and put it on the back of one of the chairs. He turned to face her and put his hands up in a stopping gesture.

“About last night” he began ‘I don’t want you to think that I stopped because of what you told me.” She was surprised that he had been worrying about that and downright shocked that it hadn’t even crossed her mind at all. 

“I didn’t even think of that at all” 

“Good because that had nothing to do with it, ok?” she waited for him to go on, the familiar pain in her stomach started to flare up (is this the real life, is this just fantasy…) “are you Bohemian Rapsodying again?” 

“huh, uh yeah” wait, did he name her weird quirk, she thought

“you make a super adorable face when you do that” he smiled she shook her head no.

“look its nothing bad, I don’t think, but you wanted to talk. You made me promise. So, can we please just talk now before you come any closer? Because I’m not sure I can stop this time.” She took a small step back. 

“ok” she agreed

“ok, what is it you have to tell me before I can touch you again.” He was trying really hard to not just grab her and start. 

“uh, well see, here’s the thing…” she was having a hard time finding the right words, it had been a long time since she had had to actually describe it to anyone. Those she had been with since then came into it knowing the deal. “So, you see, I have this…” she shook her head erasing that “I uh, like, nope…” he took a step closer 

“Are you trying to tell me you have Dom/sub kink?” Her mouth dropped open. 

“How do you know that? Who told you?” 

“You did.” He said like it was common knowledge

“Excuse me?” She tried to remember. Was it drunk me?

“You do listen to your own lyrics, right? I mean, not too hard to figure out, plus the other night just kind of confirmed it.”

“and you’re ok with…” she waved her hand “Wait, what do you mean it’s not hard to figure out?”

“Come here” he said. She took a step closer. 

“No, come here.” he said pointing to the spot right in front of him. She walked over to him. 

“Are we done? Did I fulfill my promise?” he asked she noticed he was clenching and unclenching his hands.

“yes, promise fulfilled.”

“nothing else?” 

“nope” she said. He nodded his head 

“good” he walked over to the chair and sat down knees wide, arms on the chair’s armrests, with a serious look on his face. “Come on” he said patting his thigh, she hesitated for a second. 

“NOW” he said firmly. She sat down across his lap 

“good girl” she smiled at him “you ready?” he whispered. 

“yes” She knew this must be his cue.

“yes, what?” he demanded

“yes, sir?” she said slowly. 

“no, see I think that’s too impersonal” He shook his head

“uhhh, boss? No? hmm, master?” he closed his mouth tight, frowning. 

“See, I don’t like those. I mean, master is saying that I would just discipline you like you were bad all the time.” He grabbed her chin tightly in his hand “and that’s ok and all but that’s not gonna be us. We need something that’s more like, I only do what I have to to teach you, if you disobey, and if you’re good then I…” he shrugged and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand “…reward you. That’s our thing.” 

Oh god, she was gonna fall in love with him if she wasn’t careful, but he means a daddy she thought she never let anyone be a daddy she never wanted to be vulnerable, submissive fine, full on bondage bring it, but vulnerable that was real and scary. She thought about how he was worried that she might be thinking he stopped because of what she told him. If there was anyone that was even in the universe of being considered by her for being vulnerable to, it was him. “uhhhh, ok. How about…” she mentally ticked through a bunch of nonsense words, he shifted and she put her arm around his neck for balance “How about papa, no padre, no…Papa Doc!” she teased him with Mackie’s name in 8 Mile, he was watching her not amused “Papi? Papi Chulo?” she laughed

He smiled and then said “are you making fun of me?” 

“no sir, I mean, no, vater? No, not German, uh, oh wait! Tat, tatin, tata, no. How do you say it when you say it to the person? Tati!” she said, pleased with herself that she remembered the proper tense of the Romanian word for daddy. 

He smiled “Perfect ten, baby doll.”

She put her arms up over her head like a gymnast that stuck the landing.


	19. Is That Real?

“Get up” he told her, she did as she was told. He got up as well, and gently holding her face he kissed her slowly and sweetly. She started to wrap her arms around his waist and he grabbed her wrists “No” he put her arms at her sides. Her held her face and kissed her again this time a little harder. He pulled her shirt out from her waistband she started to help him and he grabbed her wrists a little harder “No” and put her arms at her sides. He put his hand under her shirt on her lower back and she groaned. 

He smiled intrigued by the strong reaction “like that baby doll?” 

“Yes, Tati, so much” it took all her strength not to reach out and touch him again.

“Here?” he asked, slowly stroking her lower back side to side. 

“Oh god yes” he was completely floored that she was reacting so much to his touch. 

“put your arms up” she did and he lifted her shirt over her head throwing it aside. 

He placed his hand back where it was and slowly circled her dragging his hand around her waist as he did. He slid his hand along her lower back “Here?” he asked her “Yes” he took his hand off her “Yes Tati” he placed it back, around her side “Here?” Shook her head yes and then quickly said “yes Tati”, across her lower abdomen “here?” he asked again, she whimpered and back around to the starting point face to face. Her arms were still up above her head, he put both of his hands on her hips and slowly slid them up her sides and arms until he got to her hands where he entwined their fingers and pulled her arms down to her sides again. 

She closed her eyes and lifted her face up to the ceiling trying to steady her breath, leaving her neck fully exposed. He pulled her arms taut and bit down on the right side of her neck. She Inhaled sharply from the pain and pleasure sensations. He let go of her hands and slid his hands up her back still biting at her neck. He unhooked her bra and changed sides biting the left side of her neck now, sliding his hands around to hold her breasts using his thumbs to caress her nipples. 

She was having a hard time standing at this point the sensations were so good they were making her weak.   
“Tati”   
“mmmm”   
“Sebastian”   
“What?”   
“I need to hold on to something” 

He pulled back and pulled her bra down her arms dropping it on the floor. He put her arms around his neck “hold on to me” she laced her fingers together behind his neck and he went back to biting her and exploring her breasts with his exquisite hands. He moved his hands down and unbuttoned her jeans pushing them off her hips until they dropped to her ankles. She automatically stepped out of them and kicked them aside working her Chuck Taylors off at the same time. His hands were everywhere she couldn’t keep up and he was still fully clothed. She pulled at his sweater wanting to feel his skin, he stopped and pulled away from her dragging the sweater over his head and undoing his belt and kicking off his shoes, he pulled her against him and the feel of their bodies finally touching skin to skin was like an electric shock. 

He undid his pants and let them fall, as he bent down slightly and wrapped his arms around her waist lifting her up, his face between her breasts, her arms around his neck. He turned and shuffled to the bed stepping out of his pants, for a second stumbling but he caught himself and she let out a small “yikes”. He sat her on the edge of the bed. She crab-walked back on the bed as he crawled up on top of her. He wrapped his arms around her back propping himself up on his forearms that were under her. 

“Oh, baby doll I’ve been waiting all day to feel you under me again.” He whispered. 

“I’ve been waiting all day to feel your weight on me again” she said and he groaned. She pulled him so he was full weight on her. 

“How do you like it Baby doll? Huh?” “slow?” he kissed her slowly “faster?” he kissed her faster “harder?” he kissed her hard “Yes please” he smiled “wait, which one?” She answered by pushing him on his back, kissing and softly biting him from his chin down to his belly button she started to pull his underwear down when she felt the size of his dick against her arm. 

“what the…is that real?” she said pointing to it 

“What? My dick? yeah.” he answered, she sat back and pulled down his briefs.

“Holy mother fucking shit” he was looking at her amused and a bit embarrassed by her reaction “I don’t know what I did to make the penis gods happy, but thank you” she whispered to the ceiling. He was blushing and laughing “dude. You’ve been holding out on me” 

“oh my god it’s not that…” he was turning redder by the second

“Dude, I have seen a lot of dick, that is a huge dick. This is like the best day ever!” She was serious, and told herself she should have been more prepared by the size of his hands. She didn’t care if people said that was a myth this was evidence that it was real.

He put his arm over his face “I mean, you’re making me blush” 

“What? Why? You should be really proud of that thing. How do you fit it in your pants?” she asked completely seriously, she was really curious how.

“all right that’s enough” he said sitting up and grabbing her around the waist making her laugh.

“forget the metal arm…” he stopped her by flipping her over on her back and pulling off her underwear. “…that’s the real technologically advanced appendage. Whooo, I thought Cap had the sword.” 

He buried his face between her legs silencing her teasing. “God, Sebastian” she moaned he stopped “sorry, Tati” he spread her legs wider as he kissed her inner thigh trailing kisses up to her opening, when he got there he licked her one slow wide tongued swipe and then trailed more kisses back down the other inner thigh stopping halfway to her knee and reversing directions. By the third pass she was aching badly.

“Tati please, I can’t take it, please…” 

“Tell me what you want me to do baby doll” 

“Please I want you inside me” he shifted so he was hovering above her. 

“look at me” she opened her eyes. “keep looking at me” she nodded. He very slowly pushed himself inside her, watching her carefully for signs of discomfort. They never broke eye contact. When he was all the way in, she wrapped her legs around his hips and arched her back, he sighed. He felt like he had found where he was always meant to be. He touched his forehead down to hers “Just this first time” he said “just as us” 

“Ok, Sebastian” she couldn’t remember the last time she had just had slow, sweet, take your time sex just as herself, not a sub, not a game, but vulnerable. Oh boy, I’m in deep like with him, she realized. 

They spent a long time exploring each other. She was pretty sure his tongue had now touched every part of her body. He touched and kissed each tattoo as he came across it and stopped at the one on her arm. “Woah, he’s extremely handsome” he joked “he’s alright” she teased “I like the actor who plays him better” he bit her neck and whispered “I hope so”

At one point she was on all fours and he made a point to look at her left butt cheek. “That’s is definitely freezer burn” he said poking a spot. She laughed “is not!” “it is! Right there!” and he bit her on the spot. “sputnik! sputnik!” she yelled. He laughed knowing that this is the code word in the comics that makes the Winter Soldier pass out. He spread her open and thrust his dick inside her from behind. He bent over her back and said in her ear “sorry doll, I was reprogramed in Wakanda” She came for the 2nd, 5th , 137th time (she had lost count) on a fierce wave of pleasure and she couldn’t decide if it was the position or the fact that he gotten that fucking obscure reference.


	20. Tired and Hungry and Frustrated

When they were both worn out, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, tangled legs and her head on his chest, as the sun slipped below the horizon. They woke up to Sebastian’s phone ringing for a solid minute. He reluctantly got up to make it stop. “Shit, I gotta answer” he said. Brodie shrugged and rolled over on her stomach. “hey, yeah sorry, no I already took care of it” he sounded annoyed “no, I don’t care. Its already done.” She felt a little like an eavesdropper so she got up and looked for the bathroom he mouthed “sorry” to her and she shook her head dismissing it and mouthed “shower” he put his hand to his chin and said “thank you” in sign language. She returned a “you’re welcome” and he signed “you sign?” she signed back “I told you a lot of time on my hands” and she turned and found the bathroom “no I’m still here” she heard him tell whoever he was talking to. 

She turned on the water in the shower, cold, she waited for it to warm up before getting in. She found a bottle of cologne on the sink and smelled it “oh yeah that’s it, although it smells better on him.” She thought putting it back. She looked into the mirror she had several bites and bruises all over she turned to see her left ass cheek, yep there it is. ‘Freezer burn from the winter soldier’ she named it. 

The water was finally warm enough to get in and she carefully lifted one leg over the tub side. “Ouch” she said out loud and stopped to see if Sebastian had heard. She was definitely sore in some sensitive areas. She had had worse, much worse, but she hadn’t really been bothered by it in a long time, the pain surprised her and she remembered the size of him. She got in and let the warm water fall over her as she used the tiny hotel soap. She had been in so many hotels over the years she could turn on any faucet, flush any type of toilet and knew how to make that tiny bar and tiny bottle of shampoo last. She heard a soft knock on the door “come in” she said trying not to be too loud in case he was still on the phone. 

“Sorry Doll, it was my assistant” 

“no worries” she opened the shower curtain a few inches “everything ok?” 

“yeah, we are just having a scheduling disagreement” 

“Ew, hate those” she said 

“hey” he said kinda sadly

“hmm?” 

“room for me?” 

“you, but probably not your dick” then she mouthed ‘It’s enormous’ he dropped his head to his chest 

“Sorry Doll it comes with me” she laughed 

“Alright, we’ll squeeze him in” she said rolling her eyes. He stepped into the tub and immediately wrapped his arms around her middle hugging her from behind, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his, hugging herself. He sighed heavy “you sure you’re ok?” she asked not trying to pry “yeah I am now” he said and tightened his grip. She pried open his embrace so she could turn towards him. She put her arms around his neck and touched his nose with her nose, he smiled. “You have the cutest tooth.” She said 

“just one?” he said laughing already in love with the way she came up with weird things to make him feel better.

“yeah this one” she said tapping the equivalent in her mouth. He ran his tongue over his teeth. 

“The one that sticks out?” he asked rolling his eyes 

“yeah it’s adorable” 

“Thank you?” 

“it is” she insisted

“if you say so, it used to be worse I got them fixed” 

“Bummer, I bet there were more adorable teeth in there before.” He laughed, she liked making him laugh when he was stressed “Are you hungry?” she asked him 

“Starving” 

“Pizza?” 

“I’m not supposed to, fuck it, yeah pizza” 

“we don’t have to….” 

“No, we have to, I want to have pizza with you.” He wanted to do everything with her, from now on, forever. He didn’t care who was mad at him, who he disappointed or who disapproved he was not leaving her until he was sure she was his.

“ok I know a really great place in Burbank. Best part is it’s right by the Disney studios so we can drive by it.” She said like a kid who was just told they could have all the ice cream they wanted, he laughed 

“You know I’ve been there, right?” 

“no!” she said surprised “Inside the gate and everything?”

“yeah, Marvel? Disney? Kinda my bosses?” 

“Damn it! Big dick AND a Disney employee? See these are the things you should have led with when you asked me to dinner.” He laughed “I like to hide the goods until the third or fourth date”

Getting dressed he got another phone call that made him tense up. This time he went into the bathroom and let her find her clothes around the room. She bent down to pick up her shoe and saw lil Bucky in the pocket of his jacket. Her first instinct was to take it back, but she just smiled and let him keep him another day. She heard his voice get a little louder. She couldn’t understand the words but the tone was not happy. He came out of the bathroom and sat heavy on the bed. She wanted to go hug him but she was also a little hesitant that he wanted to be left alone. She saw his shoulders shake. 

She went to him and stood in front of him bending down slightly so her face was even with his. “hey” she said softly he looked up at her. He was upset tears were near to spilling over. “Is everything ok, do you need me to leave you alone?” she asked gently 

He shook his head no. “Please don’t leave” he said 

“ok I won’t” He reached out and wrapped his arms around her pulling her between his legs as he rested his right cheek on her chest. She put her arms around his neck and bent down to kiss the top of his head, then she put her cheek down on it. He sighed. 

“I’m just tired and hungry and frustrated.” He said 

“it’s ok, you be whatever you need to be I’m not going anywhere” she said. He cried in her arms for a bit and then sniffed “You need a tissue?” she asked and he shook his head yes. She tried to reach the ones next to the bed but her arms were too short and she couldn’t bend sideways because he was still holding on to her tightly. She felt him laughing “are you laughing at me?” she said. He shook his head no but he was clearly laughing. “Go ahead then, Stretch” he reached towards the nightstand without moving any other part of his body but his right arm and grabbed a tissue. “God damn it” she said and he laughed even harder. 

He finally looked up at her smiling “you’re like a tiny toy” he said. 

“is that why you’re calling me ‘baby doll’ now?” 

“No that’s because it’s your name, I don’t like Lee, and I wanted a difference between Doll when we’re equal and Baby Doll when…” he wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Oh” Why didn’t he like Lee? she thought briefly “you okay?” 

“yeah I just needed to release it” 

“and crying does that?” she asked. At first, he thought she was being sarcastic but he realized she was serious. 

“Yeah, doesn’t it for you?” she shrugged like she had no idea what the words meant. “when you cry do you feel better after?” he clarified 

“no not really, I feel like, I failed.” 

“why? because you cried?” he was completely confused by her reaction

“yeah” she shrugged

“so, do you think I just failed?” 

“No! no! Not when anyone else cries! Just me. Actually, I’m kinda jealous of people who can. I just don’t” 

He looked at her worried “why?” she thought it over and said carefully 

“because crying is what they want, if you don’t cry, they can’t touch you.” She realized as she said it out loud for the first time how messed up that must have sounded to him. “Sorry. Sebastian, I’m all kinds of fucked up. You should probably cut and run now.” 

“Come here” he said she sat on the bed next to him. “Brodie, when you’re ready I’m here for you to tell me.” She nodded “but if you’re never ready to tell me? I’m still gonna be here. I’m not going anywhere no matter what you tell me or don’t tell me about your past.” 

“ok and the same goes for you.” 

“ok”   
“Pizza?”  
“Yes please” he said throwing his head back  
“I’ll drive” she said getting up.  
“Good because that was my assistant’s car last night and she’s mad at me”


	21. Oh, Did I Forget To Tell You?

When they got to the restaurant Brodie parked behind the building. As they got out, she noticed a street kid sitting near the dumpsters he was sitting on the curb of the parking lot smoking hugging his backpack between his knees. He looked up at her and his mouth hung open for a second. She smiled and nodded at him and said “Hey” He quickly looked down at his feet. She looked towards Sebastian coming around from the passenger’s side. The boy looked up again and Sebastian said “hey, how’s it going?” to him. He half smiled at Sebastian and looked down again. I’ll bring him some food on the way out, she thought, maybe I can get him to go to a safer place. She hoped that Sebastian wasn’t going to give her the Dave lecture of not giving kids like that money, or getting involved, because blah, blah, blah. She was that kid not too long ago. 

The pizza place was traditional Italian style half market, half restaurant. They walked in through the market because Brodie loved the smell of it. It brought back the only good memories of her childhood when she was safe and loved by her grandmother. To the right when they stepped in was rows of metal shelves filled with everything from candy to big metal cans of olive oil to cans of tomatoes and Italian style cookies. To the left was a long deli case that went down the length of the building starting with a cash register/ hostess station parallel to the front of the store, it turned near the back wall and went half way down the length of it ending at a row of glass doored coolers and freezers. Various meats and cheeses hung from the ceiling behind the case where the deli meats were, and closer to the front of the store the case was filled with an assortment of Italian pastries, cookies, and cakes. Behind that case were the cubbies full of breads and rolls. Brodie rubbed her hands together taking it all in. She looked at Sebastian he was looking around mouth open in a slight smile. “this place is amazing” he said in awe. “Right? Wait ‘til you have the pizza” she said.

A man about Brodie’s age came out from the back room to greet them, he was extremely good looking with a dark pompadour and side burns a pencil tucked behind his ear. 

“Hey! Brodie! Come va?” 

“Caio, Sal. Bene, e tu?” 

“Bene, bene, chi e tuo amico?” 

“Questo e Sebastian. Non parla Italiano, solo Inglese e Rumeno” she said letting him know they needed to translate for him “Sebastian this is Sal, Sal, Sebastian” 

“Nice to meet you Sebastian” Sal said shaking his hand. “nice to meet you too” 

“Sal, dov’e tuo padre?” 

“nella parte posteriore come al solito” She turned to Sebastian “I asked where his dad is and he said he’s in the back as usual” 

“Hey papa! Brodie e qui!”

“Oh mia bambina! Vieni qui dammi un abbraccio” An older version of Sal shuffled out of the back-room arms wide.

“Ciao Salvatore! Come va?” Brodie ran into his arms for a hug

“Meglio ora che la mia ragazza preferita e qui!” Sal translated for Sebastian “My father asked for a hug and said he is better now that his favorite girl is here.” Sebastian smiled. “My father is limited on his English” 

“Salvatore! E Maglio non lasciare che tua moglie lo senta” “She said he better not let his wife hear.”

“e ok, e ok, solo tra” “He said its ok, their secret.”

“Salvatore, questo e il mio amico, Sebastian.” “Sebastian this is Salvatore, he owns this place.” They shook hands and Salvatore stopped gripped Sebastian’s hand tight and pulled him closer. “lo conosco.” 

“He says he knows you” Brodie said, Sebastian shrugged 

“lo conosco, lo conosco!” Salvatore insisted

“Lui e un attore. Hai visto i suoialghe? E nei film della Marvel con Robert. Lui e un Bucky Barnes.” “I told him you’re an actor and you’re in the Marvel movies with Robert.” She translated 

“NO, no non un razzo” he said pounding his fist into the opposite palm “Uomo di ferro” he said ‘no, not rocket man’ I corrected him it’s Ironman.” 

“Capitano America?” Brodie tried “No! Non Capitano America” “He said not Captain America” she shrugged

“Ah AH! Il matrimonio!” Salvatore said clapping his hands in triumph 

“Che cosa’?” Brodie said, at the same time Sal said “Qule matrimonio?” “he said the wedding? And we asked what wedding?” Sebastian shrugged 

“aspetta che ti mostrero” and he shuffled off to the back room “he said he’ll show you” he came back with a DVD “Il matrimonio! Vedere?” he said putting in Sebastian’s face “the wedding, see?” 

Sebastian scrunched up his face and started laughing. Brodie took the dvd and read the title “Tony N Tina’s Wedding” “Il suo nome e Johnny” “he said your name is Johnny” Sebastian just shook his head yes and threw up his hands “Vedere, lo so!” “he said ‘See he knows” 

He grabbed Sebastian’s hand “vieni con me, ti mostrero i miei film!” “He said he wants to show you his movies” he pulled Sebastian into the back room. 

‘What do you want on the pizza?” Brodie called to him as he looked at her helpless “Uh I don’t care…” Sal and Brodie laughed 

“poor guy, I hope my dad doesn’t make him watch any with him.” 

“Your dad and his ‘Italian’ movies.” 

“If there’s an Italian in it, it’s il migliore” 

“Poor Sebastian he’s Romanian, your dad will be so disappointed.” 

“have fun trying to convince him of that, he’s Italian now” 

Brodie shrugged “Oh shit, we didn’t warn him about Moonstruck.” 

“Think he’ll mention it?” 

“Sebastian? I don’t know” 

“well he’s not allowed to have a copy here anymore because he was always making people watch it with him” 

“yeah, he got me at least twice” 

“che fa! I’ve seen it a million times now!” 

Then they said in unison “Che Cher e la donna perfetta” (That Cher she is the perfect woman) and laughed.

Sal went and rescued Sebastian from his dad. “sorry about that, he love’s movies especially ones about Italians.” 

“no, it’s great, I wish I could understand him better. I think he was looking for Moonstruck.” Sal and Brodie laughed 

“he’s not allowed to have that here, he retired a few years ago but, you know you work all your life it’s hard to let go and relax. So, he comes here to help which means he stays in the back mostly and tells me what I’m doing wrong while he watches movies. It keeps my mother from killing him. You two go sit the pizza will be out soon.” 

They sat at the usual booth Brodie used. She liked it because she was usually alone and she could look out the window and it didn’t seem so lonely. “I really like this place, thank you for bringing me here.” He said and kissed her hand. 

“You’re welcome but don’t tell too many of your celebrity friends, I like it because it’s chill.” 

“Oh, ok my celebrity friends, hmmmmm you already know about it so, I assume you’ve brought Robert? Yes? So, that leaves… nope I told every celebrity that I know sorry.” She laughed 

“Evans?” 

“uh, ok I won’t tell Chris.” 

“No, I mean he’s a celebrity and he’s your friend.” 

“Yes, he is” he said and smiled 

“…and Mac….” “don’t say his name. it will make him appear.” They laughed. “no Mackie is my friend too. Most of my friends live in New York though so I don’t have many here.” 

“I have a friend and he lives here, but I wish he lived in New York.” 

“you have more friends than just Robert” 

“no not really” 

“you don’t have another friend?” 

“I have one girlfriend, a friend that’s a girl I mean, she’s a musician too so we hang out on the road sometimes.” 

“Who?” 

“Jennine Porter” 

“Oh really? I love her, I mean, I like her, I mean, her music is good, it’s fine, not as good as yours”. She laughed 

“you are so cute when you’re flustered. No worries her music is way better than mine and she is also a much better person than I am.” 

“I doubt that” he said

Sal brought the pizza over; she was one of the only customers that he did it for but she was like family. He owed her a lot since she had helped to save the place when the city wanted to bulldoze it because it wasn’t up to code. She paid for the whole thing and would only agree to free pizza for life as payment. “Brodie, I forgot my mom made the rainbow cookies I haven’t put them out yet.” Her eyes got big “bring them to me!” she said rubbing her hands together. He laughed “on the way!”

Sebastian was in love with the pizza and was so happy to have something he wasn’t supposed to because of training that he looked like a kid on Christmas. “what’s your favorite New York place?” he asked 

“Ok Ima stop you right there because the best pizza is in New Jersey” 

“What?” he clutched his heart

“You heard me.” She said ready for the fight 

“I don’t know what to say.” Shaking his head sadly “This has been fun but I gotta go” she laughed 

“Look we obviously have strong opinions on this, let’s just agree to disagree until I can take you to Pizza Town USA and prove you wrong.” She said pointing at him

“I don’t know if I can.” 

“well that’s up to you Tati” the way she said it had him remembering what is was like to be inside her. 

“You win.” He surrendered “for now” They shook on it.

She saw someone approaching from the shadows. It was the boy from outside. He hesitated and she waved him over “hey, come here.” She said like she had known him forever. He approached the table and looked at Sebastian “Hi” Sebastian said friendly. “hi” the boy said quietly. “would you like to sit down?” Brodie asked “no, I don’t want to bother you.” “it’s no bother, sit.” She said and pointed to the empty spot next to her. He slid in the booth cautiously looking from Brodie to Sebastian and back. “I’m Brodie” she held out her hand. “Trevor” he said shaking it. He looked up. “Sebastian” he said introducing himself and shaking Trevor’s hand. “have some pizza” Sebastian offered “uh, no that’s ok” “Have some, it’s good, and it will keep me from eating anymore.” Sebastian took two pieces and put them on his plate and gave them to Trevor. 

Oh God, she was definitely gonna fall for him hard, she thought. “So, what’s up Trevor?” Brodie said casually he was looking at the pizza wanting to eat it but a little scared to actually pick it up. “I, uh, just…” he cleared his throat “I just wanted to tell you that I am a fan of your music.” She smiled at him “Thank you.” She winked “Sebastian give him three pieces he likes my music” “no, no this is plenty.” He said “well eat it before it gets cold” she said like a mother would. He picked up one of the slices and took a bite. Brodie and Sebastian made eye contact and smiled at each other. They sat in comfortable silence until Trevor had finished. Sebastian had gotten up and had gotten him a soda while he was eating. 

“thank you” he said quietly 

“No worries” she said. 

“How long you been in the life?” 

“uh, six months I guess” 

“where you from?” 

“Iowa” 

“kicked out?” he nodded his head yes. Sebastian sat quietly taking in the shorthand.

“you got a handler?” she asked catching his eye contact. 

“No” she narrowed her eyes at him “sometimes”, she sighed this made it a little more urgent

“well, what are we gonna do Trevor? Back home?” he shook his head no “Shelter” again no. “How about I get you to a place I know that can help you get out” he looked at her cautiously “would you go?” he thought about it for a few minutes and she put her arm around him and whispered in his ear Sebastian couldn’t hear what she was saying but he could see Trevor’s reaction. Finally, he said “yes, I’ll go” she smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “come on let me introduce you to Sal”.

Driving back to Sebastian’s hotel he finally asked her about the encounter with Trevor. “that happen often?” 

“sometimes” she said. “I ah, sometimes you have a kind of radar for kids in trouble and them for you.” He nodded. 

“what did you whisper to him that got him to agree to go?”

“Uh, I just told him something that made him know I understood him and that he should never be ashamed of who he is and fuck his parents for rejecting him.” She said leaving out the personal thing she had told him.

“you are amazing you know that?” he grabbed her hand from the shifter.

“no” she dismissed the compliment “I’m not”

“you are, you’re so kind.” She looked at him 

“No, I’m really not.” She insisted

“you are, I’ve seen it twice now, no three times” 

“when?” she said like he was out of his mind

“with Trevor and with the girl at the premier when we first met” she shook her head no “and you saved that restaurant.” 

“What are you talking about?” she said defensively how could he possibly know that?

“Salvatore told me you paid to fix the restaurant when he was showing me his movies.” she looked at him jaw to the floor 

“wait, how?” 

“oh, did I forget to tell you I can speak a little Italian?” he looked very pleased with himself.

“Yes, you did forget that” he shrugged she deserved that she guessed “anyway, that’s just not a big deal” 

“it is to them and it is to me” she shook it off

“Actually, I thought you were pretty awesome yourself” 

“Me?” he said surprised

“yeah didn’t you see him all scared of you?” 

“no!” He said surprised

“Yeah he’s got the Winter Soldier starting down at him and then he just offers him pizza and goes and gets him a soda.” 

Sebastian laughed “poor kid he looked so hungry. I was going to bring him some food on the way out.” 

She smiled at him “Oh Fuck, I am in so much trouble with you” she said. 

“Yeah, me too you pulled out the Italian and I had to restrain myself from taking you right there.” She laughed wiggling her eyebrows up and down at him 

“Voi fare sesso con me?” she said in Italian. 

He answered in Romanian “Ce te intrebi vreodata, da” 

“oh yeah I get it now, that was hot” she said “What did you say?” 

“I said ‘whatever you’re asking, yes’” she laughed “I said do you wanna have sex with me?” he laughed. “welp, I guess we have to then.”


	22. 365 Days a Year, Carry The 1

Back in the hotel room Brodie opened the white bakery box from the restaurant. Inside were the rainbow cookies she loved so much. They were more like small pieces of cake, inch thick layers of each pink, white, and green separated by thin layers of melted chocolate with a slightly thicker chocolate layer for the top. She smelled the box. “Good god, I love these!” she said. 

Sebastian was watching her intensely “hey” he said “come here, baby doll, bring one of those over here” 

“Just one?” he looked at her expectantly “sorry, just one Tati?” 

“ok bring the box over here.” She did as she was told. She stood in front of him holding the box. he took it from her and sat on the edge of the bed. “get undressed for me” he said. She did slowly, shoes first, then her t-shirt, then she took off her jeans. “stop” he said he put the box down on the bed and got up. He walked towards her and circled her then stood in front of her “go on” she unhooked her bra and took it off she looked at him for approval he nodded she took off her underwear. “that’s my beautiful baby doll” he said she blushed and put her head down. “hey, HEY, look at me” he said she looked up at him he came over and put her chin in his hand. “don’t ever do that” 

“what?” 

“be embarrassed with me. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” she tried to pull her face away and he gripped her chin tighter “ever’ he whispered and kissed her. She suddenly felt a tear forming so she pinched the side of her hip with her nails as hard as she could until it went away. 

He was kissing her neck traveling up to behind her ear 

“Tati?” 

“Hmmm” 

“can I do something?” 

“what baby doll?” he had traveled down to her right breast and began to suck on the nipple she bit her bottom lip to keep from crying out 

“can I suck your dick?” she said as he moved to the left nipple, he looked up at her the nipple still between his teeth “please? Please Tati, pretty please” 

“Sure, baby doll because you asked so nice” she smiled 

She was really freaking excited to get a better look at it and she really wanted to make him happy. She slowly dropped to her knees and undid his pants. “do you want to sit or stand Tati?” she said slowly pulling his pants down his legs. He was already rock hard. “sit” he said quietly she stood up sliding against him as she did. “where?” he backed up until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. She pulled on his boxers he stood up again so she could pull them off. She did it even slower than the pants and lightly pushed him back to sit. She made a big deal about kneeling in front of him making sure as much of her touched him as possible as she slid down. She took ahold of him and licked from the base slowly up to the tip when she reached the head he whimpered. She took his head inside her mouth and gently sucked slowly moving her tongue around in a clockwise motion, then releasing for a second, and gently sucking moving her tongue in the opposite direction. 

She took him out of her mouth and then quickly wrapped her lips around him and took him all the way in. He groaned. He was big but she had practice and she had trained her gag reflex to go slack. She deep throated him and he grabbed her hair. When she swallowed around him, he came. She felt the warm liquid slide down her throat. He had called out her name when he climaxed and she liked the way it sounded. She slowly pulled back and released him planting a small soft kiss on the tip. He fell back on the bed. Arms up over his head. 

She jumped up on the bed next to him sitting crisscrossed and took a rainbow cookie out of the box pleased with herself that he looked so satisfied. He peeked at her with one eye. She bit down on the cookie slowly looking him in the eye “was it good Tati?” she asked innocently. He couldn’t form words so he just made a sound. She smugly ate 3 cookies happy that she had pleased him. 

She had to go home; she had an early training session. She really didn’t want to leave him. He was softly breathing on the back of her neck arms around her waist cuddled up behind her. He probably wants me to go, she thought, guys aren’t big on sleep overs this soon. She carefully slid out of his embrace and off the bed. She started hunting for her clothes in the dim light. 

“Hey” he said and she jumped “sorry. Where you going?” 

“Uh, I have an early trainer appointment and I didn’t want to overstay.” He sat up 

“what time?” 

“what time, what?” 

“what time is your appointment?” 

“oh, 7 am but I have no clothes here so I have to go home.” He smiled at the no clothes part. 

“How long does it take to get from here to your house?” 

“uh, like 45 minutes depending on traffic” 

“and your house to your trainer?” 

“also, about 45 minutes” 

“so, let’s say 2 hours. With time to change. It’s 1 a.m., I have you for 4 more hours.” She shook her head 

“come here” 

“Sebastian…” 

“come here” 

“no, I have to go home” he pulled the covers off and jumped off the bed grabbing her and picking her up 

“Four more hours and I’ll come with you and I’ll even get you coffee” he said it so adorably, she relented 

“fine. But I can’t be late!” 

“I promise” he carried her to the bed and laid her down, she really didn’t want to leave him anyway.

He woke her up by leaving a trail of kisses around her face. He nuzzled her nose and she opened her eyes to his brilliant blue ones. “What time is it” she asked as he started kissing her mouth super lightly and slowly. “4” he said and deepened the kisses. “I can sleep more; I can get dressed in like 15 minutes” she said as he just kept kissing her. “nope, I want to take a shower before we leave” he kissed her even deeper and added his tongue “you…. go…. I…. sleep” she said in between his nonstop assault on her mouth. “nope, I go, you go” he said and got up walking to the bathroom. Damn it, she thought, that was better than an alarm clock. She pulled herself up and made her way to the bathroom needing him to finish what he started.

He held her up against the shower wall one arm around her waist, one arm up above his head holding the wall steadying himself, she was curled around him, arms around his back hands holding on to his shoulders from behind, her legs wrapped around his waist tightly. He bit her earlobe and whispered “I’m there, baby doll” she let herself go and they came nearly at the same time. She threw her head back and hit the shower wall “ouch” she said in the middle of her orgasm but didn’t really care. Sebastian laughed “you ok?” “yes, I’m perfect” she said relaxing from the release “yes you are” “stop with that” he kissed her neck “nope” 

She went back to the other room to find her clothes again, towel wrapped around her. She thought about it for a minute and went back to the bathroom where Sebastian was brushing his teeth. “Hey, do you…?” she stopped shaking her head “you know what, forget it” ‘do I what?” he said mouth full of toothpaste. “nothing, never mind, it was stupid” she turned back to the room to find her underwear. He followed with the toothbrush still in his mouth “what?” “I just thought maybe you might want to stay at my place for couple days, I hate hotels, but it was stupid. I wasn’t trying to like, I don’t know, get all, whatever.” she started getting dressed. Sebastian started packing, she looked up from tying her shoe as he was gathering his things “well hurry up” he said “I need to check out and I promised you wouldn’t be late” she laughed. “I’m done” she said “then help me” he said and she looked around the room for anything he might have missed.

They were on their way to Brodie’s place. She appreciated that he considered her request to be on time so carefully. She wasn’t used to having a partner (is that what they were? Fuck buddy didn’t seem to cover it this time but they only met 3 days ago) that even asked her what she wanted in her coffee, forget making the effort to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to get her to an appointment on time. 

He was driving her car. He had mentioned twice, once the night before and once as they were putting his stuff in the trunk that he would love to dive it sometime; it was a brand new 2019 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat colored Plumb Crazy and she was in love with it. She tossed him the keys and said “don’t get nailed for speeding” and got in the passenger seat. Brodie rarely spent money of stuff like that but she really liked the car and Robert, who was supposed to talk her out of it, was absolutely no help because he practically drooled on it at the dealership. She must be super relaxed from all the sex because she didn’t even think twice about letting him take the wheel. Honestly, he looked really hot driving it. He stopped on the way for coffee at Starbucks as promised. “God bless anyone who works as a barista anywhere” she said after her first sip. 

When they got to the house, she showed him where her bedroom was “you can stay here or there’s…” he dropped his stuff and jumped on the bed lying down hands behind his head legs crossed at the ankle stretched out smiling. He looked over and saw the flowers he had given her on the nightstand. “Ok then, I gotta change” and she went to the dresser to pick out something to work out in, suddenly she felt his arms wrap around her waist. 

“no!” she said knowing where he was going with it 

“you said 45 minutes to get there and we have 27 minutes before you have to leave.” 

“Sebastian, no…” but she wasn’t very convincing even to herself. 

“come on baby doll, I miss you” 

“I’m right here, you have your arms around me” 

“ok let me rephrase, I miss being inside you” 

“God Sebastian, at some point we are going to have to stop” 

“this isn’t that point” he said picking her up and throwing her on the bed 

“Besides do you know how many fucking times teenaged me dreamed about being in your bed?” 

“well that’s a little creepy and let’s see I’m bad at math but my poster on your ceiling, 365 days a year, carry the 1…” she laughed as he bit her thigh “Ouch!” 

“come here doll, I want you.” He whined 

“I want you too” she admitted. He smiled as he started to undress her. She thought about the fact that this was them as themselves again, and it scared the fucking shit out of her because it was so much better this way, how it just felt right, and she was getting really attached to him.


	23. I May be a Real Human Being

Brodie got to her appointment with 3 minutes to spare. She left Sebastian falling asleep in her bed kissing him on the forehead as she walked out of the bedroom. She tried to think of anything but him and gave up. What the hell was happening? This can’t be real, there is just no fucking way. She thought about what Chris had told her the night they met, that ‘Seb really is that nice’. Fuck, why did she feel like she’s known him forever, she didn’t even know his middle name. But you know what it feels like to have his hands on you, and the way he smells, and how his face scrunches up when he laughs, she thought. She couldn’t help feeling like she was going to hit a wall at full speed soon. Nothing good ever happened without the other shoe dropping. As good as it was with him, this one was going to hurt, bad. 

She thought about calling Robert on the way home, or Susan, but what was she supposed to say? Help, I think I may be a real human being and I actually do have feelings? Duncan and Ellie were out, they were about to have a baby at any minute, now was not the time for Brodie to fall apart. Jennine was god knows where on the road and she wasn’t ready to share it with anyone else who didn’t already know. Christ, they were lucky they had gone 3 whole days without being put on fucking TMZ with all the buzz about Endgame happening this weekend. Nope, she was alone on this one as usual. Well, if this one kills me, she thought, at least I go out well fucked in every way. 

When she got back to the house Sebastian was sleeping soundly where she had left him. Standing in the bedroom doorway she had an overwhelming feeling of urgency, the one she got when she was about to hear a song unfold in her head. She turned and went to the kitchen, grabbed some coffee and carried it to the room where she wrote. She sat down at the piano, a matte black baby grand, she had it specially painted in matte just because she got distracted by too many smudges on the shiny ones when she was in a creative funk. Oh god, I am one of those idiot Hollywood weirdos, she realized. She got the notebook she had been scribbling in last and found a sharpie that was new and sharp because, hello, creative weirdo. She couldn’t really write music, technically, because she was never really trained to read it, but she had her own system of notes and symbols that she used to work songs out. 

She wrote down words, phrases that were coming to her. This was a quick talking one, she thought as she tried to keep up the writing as the words were hitting her brain. She knew some songs came quickly, some came in pieces, slowly over days or weeks and some were a combination of the two, but when they did, she needed to get them down because once they were gone, they very rarely got remembered in just the same way again. The first idea was always the better way to say it and it always bugged her when she couldn’t remember it right. “Trusting… what now… fuck it was too fast.” She thought. She put down the pen and hovered her hands over the keyboard. “this chord, nope, this one….” She started playing stopping every few bars to make notes and adjust words. She reached for her coffee, crap, empty, oh well, can’t get up right now. She went back to the starting point which she thought was probably closer to the end but was loudest in her head right now. 

Sebastian watched quietly from the doorway. Having a musician, a pianist, as a mother he understood staying out of the way when they had that look. He saw her pick up her coffee and find it empty and heard her sigh disappointed. He quietly went into the kitchen to figure out where the coffee was. Good thing he had watched her the other night and he found it pretty easily. He made one for himself too and quietly walked back to the room where Brodie was now tapping her pen furiously on the pad she had been writing in. She was looking up at the ceiling like the words she was looking for were written up there if she could just see them. He walked in the room slowly and set his coffee down on the table next to the overstuffed chair across from the piano. He approached the piano carefully as not to scare the crap out of her, and smirked at the fact that her empty Captain America mug sat on top of a Captain America shield coaster. He picked up the empty mug and replaced it with the one he made. 

She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and saw Sebastian try to switch mugs without her seeing. She turned her eyes to him and kept the rest of her body still, to watch him. He was so fucking adorable, tongue sticking out concentrating to not spill or disturb her. He turned his eyes to hers and realized she was staring at him. She raised her eyebrows, he smiled and slowly started to back away. She laughed. 

“thank you” she said 

“Sorry did I disturb you?” 

“no not at all. I appreciate it. Come here.” She patted the bench next to her. He sat down, she put her head on his shoulder and sighed. He kissed her head.

“if it helps any, it sounded really awesome to me.”

“Thanks. I’m stuck because all I can think is Lou Reed and it’s not cooperating.”

“What do you mean you’re thinking Lou Reed?” he asked

“You know the song Perfect Day by Lou Reed?”

“Yeah, I think so”

“well it’s one of my favorite songs ever and I have this idea that wants to flow like that but I can’t smooth it out.” She started bouncing her right knee up and down quickly, frustrated. He put his hand on her thigh to calm it. 

“play it” he said

“I can’t it’s just not working” she sighed

“no play the Lou Reed song” 

She hovered her hands over the keyboard again and he did too. 

“you play?” he rolled his eyes 

“with a piano teacher mother? What do you think?”

“Ok” she played the first couple of bars and he hesitantly started to play along trying to remember the song and then it kicked in. She started to sing it and when they got to the chorus he sang too. She started to playfully put her right hand between his hands to play the upper notes and he did the same towards her end occasionally elbowing each other playfully and kicking each other over the pedals. She turned and straddled the bench facing him he turned his face towards her and she leaned in and kissed him as he played some song she didn’t quite recognize, but she thought it was beautiful. He put his forehead against hers and kept playing. 

“you play better than I do” she said “I’m a little jealous” 

He held his hands up and wiggled his fingers she grabbed his left hand and put it to her right cheek she closed her eyes and held it there. She looked him and said softly “you know that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” 

“what’s that, doll?” she gestured towards the coffee with her chin. He put his other hand to her left cheek and for a second he saw a tiny start to a tear forming in her right eye. He kissed her forehead. “Wow, you’re gonna really freak out when I take to you Disneyland on Saturday if getting you coffee is a big deal” 

“wait, WHAT!” he shrugged and put his hands up. “are you serious? Don’t fuck with me and Disneyland!” she warned. 

“I’m not kidding I made a couple calls when you were gone.” 

“Nah uh!! Shut up!!” 

“Marvel, Disney, bosses” he reminded her. 

“Alright then, come on!” she said getting up 

“where are we going?” 

“to my bedroom so I can thank you properly” she said. He jumped up and picked her up and over his shoulder, she laughed as he carried her to the bedroom.


	24. Ok, Let’s Be Clear Then.

They spent the day mostly in her bed watching movies and having sex. By about late afternoon they didn’t even bother with the pretense of putting clothes back on, it just slowed them down. He liked musicals and romantic comedy’s as much as she did and he loved anything that had to do with space or NASA or astronomy. She suggested “Moon” and he was so happy that she knew it and she liked it too. “Oh, have you seen the sequel “Mute”?” she asked when the film ended “NO!” she grabbed the remote and found it and then had to pause it because he was hungry to be inside her again. 

She straddled him as he sat up back against the headboard. She took his dick in her hand and stroked it up and down a few times, then she positioned herself over it and slid down slowly until he had filled her. She took his hands and placed them on her hips and then arched her back. She took her right hand and put it between her legs rubbing her clit and her left hand under her gently squeezing his balls. He liked it a lot. His grip tightened on her hips and he dug his fingers into her soft flesh. She sat up straighter and looked him dead in the eyes biting her bottom lip “harder Tati” she said sneering slightly, he gripped her tighter “harder” he let go of her hips and grabbed the hair on the back of her head pulling it back to expose her neck, his other hand palming her breast then squeezing, as he full on with teeth bit her collar bone stopping just before breaking the skin. She came so hard around him that he was momentarily trapped in her and he thought, I will forever be chasing that feeling for the rest of my life.

Sebastian went to the kitchen to get food because it was his turn, and while he was gone Brodie quickly looked up the movie Salvatore had recognized him in and happily found it was available on one of the streaming services. She cued it up and waited. He came in wearing only his boxers, arms full of snacks and balancing a bottle of vodka under his chin. 

“I found the good stuff” he said 

“me too” she said he looked at her questioningly. She couldn’t keep from smiling. 

“what are you up to?” he said she shook her head and shrugged “Brodie?” 

“Hmmmm?” 

He dumped the snacks on the bed and climbed on next to her grabbing her arm and pulling her so she was flat on her back he straddled her holding her arms over her head “Brodie, baby doll, what did you do?” she pointed to the screen “Oh god damn it!” he let go of her wrists. “no, no, no, I can’t watch it.” 

“Come on Tati, please?” he was still straddling her she sat up under him and pulled him down on her, biting his bottom lip gently he groaned “you watch this with me and I’ll do anything you want when it’s over” 

“you do anything I want regardless, baby doll” She cocked one eyebrow and mouthed ‘anything’ “alright fine” he gave in. He had something in mind. 

She was fascinated by young Sebastian and how adorable he was and he had his New York accent too. “Aw! You did have more than one cute tooth back then” she pointed out he rolled his eyes 

“you are so weird” he said 

“admit it you kinda like my weird a little” she challenged 

“Yes, I do, a lot actually” 

“I knew it or you would have been long gone by now” 

“I’m not going anywhere baby doll” she realized he said that a lot to her and wondered if he was saying it to make a point or if it was just something, he said a lot. 

“Sebastian?” 

“what?” 

“What’s your middle name?” 

“I don’t have one” she side-eyed him 

“are you lying to me?” 

“No, I don’t have one, why?” 

“I don’t have one either” she said incredulous

“that’s weird” he laughed

“right?” she agreed they began watching the movie again 

“Sebastian?” 

“what baby doll?” 

“why did you say you don’t like my last name, Lee?” he sighed deeply 

“Honestly?” he asked making sure she wanted hear it, she nodded “because it’s not Stan” she narrowed her eyes at him “Because it’s not Stan” he said again in a serious tone. 

“Tati…” she said not believing him

“no, I’m serious. Look I know I’ve never actually met the guy but I really, how did you put it….do not enjoy your ex-husbands company.” 

“you don’t even know him” She said it carefully so it didn’t sound like she was defending him.

“I know enough” she sighed because she didn’t know how to respond. “look Brodie, I do know one thing, someday I will meet him and I will shake his hand and thank him for being stupid enough to let you go” 

“Seba…” He cut her off “I know you are too nice to be angry at him, too kind to hate him, so let me do it for you ok?” 

“ok, I guess I can live with that, but you don’t even know me that well that you would want…” she couldn’t finish because she didn’t know what he wanted 

“That I would want you?” he asked she shrugged “Ok let’s be clear then, I want you.” He grabbed her gently by the shoulders so she would face him “Baby doll” he whispered in an almost plea “I’ve never wanted anything ever as much as I want you.” 

Very quietly her voice shaking she said “I want you too.” 

He closed his eyes and smiled taking a deep breath and he knew the fight he had with his agent, the first one they had ever had, was worth it. 

“So, anything huh?” 

“Movies not over” 

“close enough, I’ll tell you the ending” 

“what’s the ending?” 

“I grow up and act in better movies” she laughed 

“alright a promise is a promise” 

“alright bend over” 

“Damn it, I knew that’s what it was gonna be! Wait didn’t I see on the internet you have like a 5-gallon drum of lube or something? We might need that, go get it” 

“fucking Mackie” he said shaking his head.


	25. Technically it Did Work.

Actually, anal wasn’t what he had in mind, they had already explored that twice and would again, but he wanted to be able to just watch her. He felt the need to have that image in his head so he could call on it when they were on opposite sides of the world. He wanted to be able to close his eyes and imagine that she was missing him as much as he knew he would miss her and would try to take the edge off of wanting him by imagining her hands were his hands. Maybe he just wanted to plant that idea in her head so that she wouldn’t go looking for a replacement. Maybe he just wanted to be able to recall it for his own time of need. Maybe it was all those things. 

“No baby doll, I have something else in mind.” He told her

“Ok” she sounded a little cautious

“I want you to pretend I’m not here and you really miss me and can’t stand the pressure anymore so you have to release it while imagining it’s me touching you. I just want to watch you.” 

“You’re just gonna watch me? You’re not gonna help me?”

“Nope”

“Not even a little?” she narrowed her eyes at him

“Nope”

“well you are kinda helping me because I can smell your fucking amazing cologne” she said laying back with her head on the pillow “and you’re doing that intense stare that when I met you made me wonder if it could make me cum without you touching me.” He made a surprised face. She closed her eyes and put her hands behind her head biting her lower lip “and then you put your hand on my lower back” she recalled bringing her knees up and letting them fall wide. “and you kept staring at me” she purred and dragged her hands from behind her head down to cup her breasts squeezing them gently. “hmmm what happened next…oh yeah, you asked me to dinner and I was gonna say no but…” she slowly rolled her nipples between her thumbs and middle fingers “… then you leaned in and whispered in my ear” she moaned and caressed her right side with the back side of her hand from her breast to her hip and back while she put three fingers of her left hand in her mouth and sucked on them, her eyes were still closed so she didn’t see that Sebastian was having a hard time not participating. She took them out of her mouth and they traveled from her bottom lip, down her throat, between her breast, over her stomach, to dip between her legs. She moved them in a slow circular motion at the crest “and all I could feel was your warm breath on my ear…” she moaned a little longer this time her right hand caressing her right breast “…and all I could smell was you” she took her left pointer finger and put it inside her “…and my brain stopped thinking” she inserted her middle finger “…and all I wanted was to feel your hands on me” her ring finger slipped in.

Sebastian grabbed her left wrist and slowly pulled her fingers out of her. She opened her eyes and frowned at him “am I doing it wrong Tati?” she said pouty. He took her hand and put her fingers in his mouth and sucked on them, he took them out and laid her hand on her thigh “No baby doll you’re doing it perfect, I’m just done watching.” he buried himself so deep inside her she had never felt that whole before. “Sebastian” she called his name “I, don’t …” “I know me too Brodie” he said understanding they were both starting to panic about how much time they had together. They slowed it down because they were both trying to make it last. She didn’t know when he had to go home but it couldn’t be too much longer. Robert had said they were all going back to their real lives after tomorrow’s party. 

They were laying in the soft light from the television her head on his outstretched arm both on their backs “so, um, I have to leave on Sunday to go back to work”

She sighed “I figured it was soon”

“Brodie, I’m coming back”

“ok” he turned on his side to face her

“I promise, I never break a promise.”

“Ok, I believe you”

“you sound like maybe you don’t”

“no, I do” she turned to face him “but it just sucks”

“Yeah, it really does” he agreed “you really like my hand on your back?”

“yeah, I really, really do I can’t explain it but it just makes me melt”

“good to know. I will do it more often”

“whoo hoo!” she held her fist up in celebration

“So, you were going to say no to me? Why?”

“well, it was little intense” she laughed “it was a combination of things, but you remember I did say yes, right?”

“What things?’

“Uh, the age difference.” He rolled his eyes “that you are so good looking, totally out of my league,” he shook his head no “and I don’t know I gave up on dating.”

“What changed your mind?”

“the intense staring, the cologne, the feel of your hand on my back, the fact that you get my jokes”

“I wasn’t going to let you say no”

“Hmph”

“The way you made that girl feel special, the feel of your hand in mine, the way you sucked on that straw, that you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen”

“Dude, you need to look in a mirror sometime, your eyes are amazing mine are boring.”

“Are you kidding? Your eyes are dark grey. I’ve never seen eyes that color. I couldn’t stop looking at them.”

“your stare was so intense and your eyes so beautiful I was honestly wondering if staring could cause an orgasm alone.”

“yeah, you mentioned that earlier. Can It?” he said opening his eyes wide and touching his nose to hers.

“I don’t know, I was trying to figure out how to find out”

“Google?” he suggested she burst out laughing.

They answered the question about the staring effect, technically it did work. Actually, the staring led to kissing which led to touching and that led to definite orgasm. “If this was how experiments were in school I might have graduated” she joked


	26. You Work On A Plan

Brodie cancelled her yoga class for the next day and let the guys know she wouldn’t make rehearsal but they could call if they needed anything. She wanted to spend all the time she could with him before he left on Sunday and they were going to Robert’s party. They both had some business that couldn’t wait over the weekend though so she left him in the room she used for an office and went to the writing room with her MacBook. Ugh, so many e-mails she thought as she scrolled through them for the important ones. 

There was one from the Band’s manager JD reminding her she had to get a new assistant for the tour and that he had set up interviews on Tuesday. Oh joy! She thought sarcastically. One email was from Jennine confirming dates for her band joining up with them on the last leg of the summer run. Well at least she got to send that to JD to piss him off. Jennine would only deal with her for that stuff because she hated JD. God, I love her, Brodie laughed. The rest could wait she thought and then noticed one from Dee. Robert would have lost his mind if he knew she read it. It was just a couple of sentences: 

Baby,  
Good to see you. Come by again soon, but leave your new friend at home.  
Dee

She didn’t answer it and sent it to the trash. Sebastian had totally nailed her intentions. There was an incident a while back where some interesting information and pictures were being shopped around about Brodie, she had taken care of it but Robert was determined to find out who was looking to sell it. Brodie wasn’t ashamed so much as wanting to protect those around her. She would be fine, she knew what she was, but there was always that little fear of the past getting dug up somehow, and it’s always the ones around you that get hurt, so she laid low. Robert had it traced to Dee. Brodie had never seen him so angry. He was poised to make Dee’s life a living hell but Brodie promised she would not interact with her again, quit hanging out with losers, and get her shit together so he would back down. “Please just back off” she said to the room. 

“what’s up?” Sebastian had walked in just as she was mumbling to herself.

“Huh? Nothing. Just talking to myself” she smiled at him.

“I just got off the phone with my mom” he said kissing her on the temple

“Oh yeah? How is she?”

“she was 26 when she had me so you can relax” he teased

“Oh my god please tell me you didn’t talk to her about me?” he shrugged “Sebastian!” he smiled that big grinning smile that he used to try to get out of trouble “fuck.” She got up and started pacing (so you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?) 

“Calm down Freddie Mercury, she was very excited about meeting you.” She stopped and glared at him

“Are you high? You want to introduce ME to your mother?” he got up and put her face in his hands

“Yes, I do and everyone else I care about too” she scrunched up her face in frustration “Brodie, I told you I’m not going anywhere and I want you. That means we are occasionally going to have to be with people I care about.” 

“Sebastian, be honest here, I’m not exactly the kind of thing you want to bring home to your loved ones let alone your mother.” His face changed and became serious bordering on the edge of dangerous.

“Never, ever, call yourself a ‘thing’ again. Understand?” he said it controlled and slowly. She nodded yes. “Say it”

“yes” he stared at her “Yes Tati” he let go of her face and hugged her. There was a shift inside her. She felt it but didn’t know what it was. She couldn’t remember anyone that treated her like Sebastian, that noticed little words like her calling herself a ‘thing’, hell she didn’t even realize she used it until he pointed it out. 

“come on baby doll, I wanna fuck you one more time before we have to be in public.” She fake sighed like it was a chore and said “Ok fine, if we have to.” 

Robert’s house was already swirling with activity when they got there. They walked up to the front door and rang the bell. “Did you forget your key, darling?” Robert said when he opened it. 

“No but Sebastian is new here.” He rolled his eyes. 

“Hey munchkins, Brodie’s here” he called behind him, suddenly two screaming blurs came barreling out the door past Robert almost knocking him down. They jumped at her and she deftly caught them, used to the game. She kneeled down to get more hugs.

“Brodie, I missed you” said Robert and Susan’s daughter Avri, who was 4.

“I missed you more” challenged their 7-year-old son Exton. 

“Nah uh!” “Daddy I missed Brodie more, right?” said Avri 

“well you both missed her more than me, so you both win” He answered 

Suddenly Exton noticed Sebastian and stopped, he whispered in Brodie’s ear “is that the winter soldier?” she whispered back “yes” he looked up at him and then at his arms and whispered in her ear “I was hoping he was gonna bring the metal one” She said “me too” making a disappointed face. Avri, wanting in on the attention whispered nonsense into Brodie’s ear and she grabbed her and tickled her. 

“well come on in, you know the way” Robert said 

Exton was still carefully watching Sebastian as they walked in, finally he said “Longing” Sebastian stopped walking, and then slowly “Rusted”, Sebastian looked more serious. Brodie covered her mouth with her hand and laughed because she had taught him the trigger words a long time ago and had forgotten. Exton said “furn…ace” and then Sebastian bent down and put his face closer to Exton, “Daybrea……k” and Sebastian lunged at him. Exton laughed so hard he fell over. 

“you’re my favorite Avenger!” Exton said 

“mine too!” said Avri 

“MINE TOO!” added Brodie and the three cheered and jumped up and down clapping.

“In my own home, my own kids, you’re all traitors” Robert said “This is your fault” he said pointing at Brodie “you brainwashed them” she just smiled and held her arms up in victory as he walked to the patio doors.

Exton and Avri were in the process of dragging Sebastian to see their Winter Soldier stuff that Brodie had gotten them, each one holding one of his hands and pulling him when Evans came around the corner from the kitchen “Hey Brodie!” he said with his huge grin and he came over and gave her a hug and kissed her cheek “Hey Chris” 

“Was that Seb?” he asked looking confused 

“Yeah” she answered like who else would it be

“Oh, I thought he…never mind” 

“never mind what?” 

“Nothing I must have misunderstood” 

“Wow Evans, you are a terrible liar” she said he laughed 

“I’m an actor that’s what I do for a living, lie.” 

“well, you may be good at it on film but in real life you suck” 

“ouch” he said pretending to be wounded. 

“are you gonna tell me or do I have to go ask him?” 

“it’s nothing, I must have gotten the days wrong. I just thought he left yesterday to go back to Paris for the movie.” 

she nodded “Oh, right Paris, the movie, okay” 

“you suck at lying too” he said and she stuck her tongue out at him.

Susan came down the hallway Sebastian behind her “I rescued him from his adoring fans” she said 

Brodie laughed “Man I swear this is a sweet, sweet, victory” Susan rolled her eyes as Chris and Sebastian hugged hello “you work on a plan and then it comes together with everybody here!”

They all walked out to the backyard where the party was gathering. Brodie held back and Sebastian stopped with her “you wanna tell me why Chris is surprised to see you still here and not in Paris?” she asked him 

“Damn it, Evans” he said 

“what’s going on?” 

“I was supposed to be back on set today but I’m not so it’s no big deal” 

“Sebastian, just tell me, what’s going on?” 

“I called Jessica, she’s my co-star and it’s her movie. I told her that I needed a couple more days. She said it was fine. The only one freaking out is my agent. It’s no big deal.” She thought about the phone calls from the other day, the one from his assistant and the one that made him cry. That must have been the agent.

“if it’s no big deal, why didn’t you say something?” she asked him gently

“because I didn’t want you to try to talk me out of it, and I didn’t want to know if you didn’t want to me to stay.” He looked so…sacred? Vulnerable? Anxious for her answer? All of the above.

She sighed “of course I want you to stay, but I don’t want you to get in trouble at work.” 

“it’s fine really, the production is fine as long as I’m there by Monday.” 

“Ok.” He was looking at her so earnestly wanting her to be understanding “You’re right though I would have tried to talk you out of it and you would have thought that it was because I didn’t want you to stay.” He nodded “What did you tell Jessica that you had to stay for?” 

“I told her I met this girl and I needed to stay for a couple more days because we had just connected and I didn’t want her to forget me” Oh man how was she ever going to recover from him she thought. She hugged him “she understood what I meant and we’re friends so she knows I wouldn’t just ask her without a reason.” 

“Jesus Sebastian, I can’t believe you would think I would forget you” he shrugged 

“I never worried about it before with anyone.” His eyes pleaded to her and she kissed him. 

“ok just answer one thing.” 

“What?” 

“Who’s the girl you met? I need to know her name, address, all the info so I can go kick her ass and make her disappear.” he laughed and put his forehead to hers.

“It’s you, doll.” He said.


	27. Captain Fragile

They joined the others and were having a really good time. The backyard was full of Avengers cast and crew and their families and friends. Robert knew how to throw a party; he was not shy about spending the big bucks for one. She was sitting on the edge of the pool, her legs in the water watching the action around her and every few minutes cheering for one of the kids yelling “Brodie, Brodie, watch this!” She was always a kid magnet, she figured it was because she acted like one most of the time and they saw it. She now had 8 new little buddies that were fighting for attention. 

She was wearing a two piece but covered her top half and the various bites and marks with a white sleeveless t-shirt, the cover of Bauhaus’ classic ‘Bella Lugosi’s Dead” 12-inch on the front. Sebastian looked at it and said “Really?” when she put it on as they were changing in the pool house. 

“What? They’re one of my all-time favorite bands” 

“Vampire?” She looked down 

“Oh shit! I didn’t think about the whole Romania thing, I honestly wear this all the time” 

“Hmph” he wasn’t convinced 

“you do know Bauhaus?” He shook his head “Ok I can take a lot of things, but you need to get to know them and like them or no more…” and she pointed to her groin area. 

“OH! Bauhaus!” he said “I love them” 

“Nope, too late there will be a quiz! You better study up. oh crap” she suddenly thought about her arm showing “I should change it” pointing to her shoulder, Sebastian grabbed her hand as she was turning. 

“Nope, I want to show it off. Come on” and he dragged her to the backyard. 

Now sitting on the pool’s edge, she was thinking about how she could have really used some friends right now. Fucking hell, Hemsworth! He was absolutely beautiful and he was so funny playing with all the kids and his wife was lovely. Evans of course was good looking too but now in a brotherlike way, and Tom Holland was freaking adorable in a kid brother kinda way, but she knew Stephanie would be swooning. She actually liked Tom he was charming and he made a little video for her to send Steph. But of all the men, Sebastian was by far her favorite. Not one came close to him and his sweet personality and the way he made everyone feel at ease. She felt proud to be with him and that of all the people he could choose he wanted to be with her. She loved how he was comfortable with her doing her own thing and not trying to make sure she wasn’t embarrassing him. She looked around for him but he and Mackie were off somewhere, probably causing trouble. 

A man came and sat down next to her, he looked vaguely familiar but she couldn’t place him. 

“Hi” he said to her squinting into the glare of the pool

“Hi” she said back, friendly, but still trying come up with a name

“I’m Scott Evans, Chris’ brother” he held out his hand to shake

“Oh hi! I’m Brodie Lee. So nice to meet you. I was trying to figure out why you looked familiar but I couldn’t place you.” She shook his hand

“family resemblance” he rolled his eyes

“no shit, I hate that when people say I look like my brother, stupid ugly jerk”  
He laughed “It’s nice to finally meet the good-looking Evans brother though” she said. 

This had him doubled over. “please say that to Chris I will pay you big money!” 

“You got it, and for free, prettier siblings stick together” and they fist bumped. They became fast friends telling sibling stories and checking out the view of Hemsworth and company. Scott had a sharp wit and Brodie loved someone who could throw shade back and forth easily. They moved to the bar area as the sun was turning a golden color lower in the sky and found the trio of Chris, Sebastian and Mackie already a few beers in. 

“Hey!” They all cheered at Brodie and Scott 

“Where you been Doll?” Sebastian asked 

“I’ve been getting to know the good-looking Evans, I didn’t believe him when he said he was your brother,” she said to Chris “he’s so handsome. Are you sure you have the same parents?” 

“She made me show her my ID because she thought I was lying” Scott added shaking his head. 

She threw up her hands “go figure” 

Chris smirked and nodded “Ha, ha” 

“oh, look he thinks we’re kidding” Scott said leaning towards her 

“Actors! Egos! They’re very fragile” she agreed 

“Hey he’s an actor too!” Chris said 

“Yes, but a good one” she said. He looked to his friends for support and they were both looking down trying not to laugh 

“Fuck you guys!” Chris said 

“Aw I’m sorry Captain fragile!” she said going behind his chair and wrapping her arms around his neck as he pretended to sob “you’re pretty too” she said in baby talk as the others were laughing uncontrollably. He poked at the shield on her arm “That’s me” “yes, it is” she reassured him. 

It started to cool down, Brodie went to change into shorts, a t-shirt and Chucks her usual look.  
She ran into Robert as he was standing alone people watching “Did you know that Sebastian was supposed to leave last night?”

“Yes, that is my side job arranging his schedule.”

“Come on Robert, I just mean he was supposed to be back on a movie shoot in Paris and he stayed here because he said he wanted to spend more time with me.”

“You’re upset at this because…”

“I’m not upset, I’m worried. I don’t know about the movie business is he gonna get in trouble or get fired or something?”

“Well is he missing or did he let them know”

“He said he called Jessica, and it’s her film, and she said as long as he’s there by Monday they are fine.”

“He’s fine then, I mean he’s not the first actor to hold up production” he pointed at himself “I’m kidding, he’s probably just missing rehearsal he’s fine. What?”

“I just… I guess I didn’t think about him leaving.” She realized that was the real issue.

“Oh, its ok darling.” He saw the sudden look of panic on her face “Look if he called out of work on account-of-new-girlfriend, to spend time with you, he must feel the same way, right?”

“I guess.” She conceded “I wouldn’t call me his GIRL friend though.”

“I’ve seen the goods” he said it to get her angry at something else.

“Damn it, Robert! don’t say that in front of other people. They’re gonna think we’ve fucked”

“Have you ever been on the internet? They already think that.” 

“Yeah, but when it’s someone on the internet, with their head up their ass, it doesn’t matter, but if you or I say stuff like that it just fuels the rumors and it’s disrespectful to Susan.”

“Look, try to enjoy the little time you do have.” He knew right away that was the wrong thing to say.

“God damn it! You’re the one that was all ‘you’re not happy’, ‘blah blah blah,’ ‘Go right now’ and this is why I gave this up a long time ago Robert. This is what scares me, he’s gonna walk away and he’ll be fine. I was stupid enough to listen to you and all your bullshit and now he knows stuff and I’m in l…” she stopped suddenly to stop the tears and the four-letter L word she was about to say. 

He grabbed her hand; he could tell by her face she was using one of her techniques to keep from crying. This one was biting the insides of her cheeks to create pain, because her jaw was clenched and her cheeks abnormally sucked in. 

“Unclench darling, come on, stop.” He said softly patting her face. “There you go. Come on, let’s go inside for a bit and talk, ok?”

She shook her head yes and they walked inside holding hands.


	28. We’ve Covered a Lot of Ground

Susan noticed them and knew what the hand holding meant. She knew that Robert and Brodie were a package deal from the beginning and honestly there wasn’t a second of jealousy. She always felt grateful that they had found each other when they did. Robert had told her how Brodie was the first person to make him laugh after all his problems and she was the first one to treat him like a person not an addict. She loved Brodie too. You really couldn’t help but love the woman who pushed all the wrong buttons of the man so that she never had to, plus she was his fiercest protector. She wanted her to find love too.

She looked over at Sebastian and saw he was watching the exchange with concern. She never interfered with Brodie’s partners because, frankly, she never liked any of them enough to bother. But there was something in the way they looked earlier standing poolside, she was leaning back against his chest, he had his hands lightly on her hips and his chin propped up on the top of her head. They were talking to Chris Hemsworth, and Brodie’s hands were flying as she was telling a story, Sebastian laughing at the conversation. It was just so easy and natural. She went over and sat on the chair next to him.

“Hey Seb, you having a good time? Can I get you anything?

“Yes, I’m having a great time. Thank you for having me.”

“Of course.” She paused “Look, when you see those two holding hands?” she said quietly so no one else could overhear “It means they are having what you and I would call a normal human conversation.”

He laughed “She just looked… sad”

Susan definitely liked him; she patted his hand “Give her a little time. She… well, I’ve never seen her like someone as much as she likes you already.”

He nodded “I’m not going anywhere. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“Does she, I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but does she really never cry?”

“No, not in front of anyone anyway, not Robert, not even Duncan. Robert says it has something to do with the abuse from when she was a kid but that’s all I know.”

He nodded and sighed “I just want to make her feel safe all the time so she never has to feel like that again” he said as much to himself as he did to her. Yeah, Susan definitely liked him and if she had to butt in to see Brodie finally get a person she deserved, Sebastian was about to get a new best friend.

Inside Brodie told Robert what she and Sebastian had been doing without too many details in the past couple of days. 

“Jesus Brodie, you just go balls to the wall, don’t you?” 

“you told me…” 

“I know, I know, I just forgot how you are, it’s been awhile, it’s nice to see you again though.”

“Robert, he is the first person I’ve ever wanted to tell this stuff to, ever. Not like I should, or I have to, but I want to. I think I’m getting kinda attached to him a little”

“well, darling, then tell him.” 

“I have to ask Duncan first”

“Honestly, it’s your story to tell, you don’t need anyone’s permission, but if you feel the need, then talk to Duncan, and darling you are already attached to him and frankly, I couldn’t be happier for you both.”

She found Sebastian sitting alone near the pool. “Hey, sorry I took so long”

“It’s ok, everything alright?” he wanted her to tell him but didn’t want to push.

“Yeah, I just was talking to Robert about…. stuff” she said not knowing if he was mad or not.

“Anything I can help with?” he tried to sound easygoing about it

“Uh, Look Sebastian. I have known Robert forever and I am just used to him being the go-to person for me.” He nodded “But, I am willing to make that you, if you want.” She realized what she said and panicked that he would think she was trying to trap him “You can say no. I just am not…I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying.”

“I would like that very much, and I really have no problem with you and Robert I just want you to feel comfortable with me too.” She sat down next to him facing his side and wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as he put his arm around her. 

“I am, I do, I’m getting there. But there are gonna be times when I can only talk to Robert about certain things” 

“Yeah, what kind of things?”

“You” he nodded

“I get that.” and he laughed 

“Plus, I never had any physical relationship with him ever, not even a little, not even a drunk night of making out. But you…I’m pretty sure we’ve covered a lot of ground on that front.”

“You’re serious? You guys never…” he made a rude hand gesture.

“EWWW, NO!” she shivered in horror “I will tell you that when I met him, I had a mad crush on him from his movies but about 10 seconds into it that was gone forever. He and I are just like…if I had a twin it would be like that. Look, I was his number one until he met Susan and then she gave him everything I couldn’t and I love her for that. For making him happy and loved. I just don’t have a Susan so my attachment is still there. Does that make sense?” He nodded yes. 

“You have a Sebastian” 

“Yeah, I guess I do”


	29. Let’s Fucking Get it Over With

As the party turned more adult and little ones were off to babysitters and other caretakers. Robert and Susan announced that there would be live music for a bit then a DJ and Karaoke as the night progressed. They were sitting back at the same table that she had found them at hours earlier. Both Evans’, Mackie, Brodie and Sebastian, and Paul Rudd had joined them as well. He was funny as fuck and Brodie loved his movies. They had just watched “Mute” the night before, and she was trying not to think of what they were doing as they were watching. Plus, he was one of her favorite Friends characters.

“Do you like karaoke?” Sebastian asked her. 

“I mean, it’s kinda what I do for a living” she laughed 

“Oh yeah, I didn’t think about it that way” 

“do you?” she asked Sebastian

“yes, I love it” 

“I should have known that with all the singing the past couple of days” she teased him 

“Come on, you like my singing” 

“Actually, it has grown on me. You are extremely adorable when you do.” 

“see that was my plan, to sing until you find me adorable and can’t let me go.” 

“mission accomplished, Tati” she said as she kissed him.

Robert’s oldest son Indio and his friend Ralph were playing for the crowd as their band ‘The Dose’ they were really great and Brodie loved them. She respected how hard they worked and although she would in a split-second help them out, they never asked and she knew how important it is to make it on your own. The fact that Indio was RDJ’s son was enough pressure.

Indio asked if she would come up and do “Barracuda” by Heart with them because it was a song that Brodie had taught him a long time ago when he was learning to play. She shook her head no from the crowd.

“Come on Brodie!” Indio insisted

“Can’t” she said “I don’t have my guitar.” 

“I have a guitar” Robert yelled out

“Lefty, remember?” she held up her left hand 

“I have a lefty, remember?” Robert yelled back

“No, I did not remember that” she said the crowd was encouraging her to do it “fine but only one!” she looked to Sebastian for approval and he was smiling from ear to ear and he said “go” she whispered to him as she got up “Sorry”. 

Ralph was a fantastic drummer she loved playing with him and thought if she ever does do that second solo work, he was definitely doing the percussion and Indio was absolutely going to be on it like it or not. They worked out a quick who’s playing what in a fast short hand as Brodie tuned the guitar Robert had made sure he had around for her, the bastard. As a lefty, she could often get out of playing with the ‘oops can’t play a righty’, even though she could. “Alright” she sighed “let’s fucking get it over with.” Others might have thought she sounded frustrated but Indio knew that was her good luck phrase and she said it before every show. She took a deep breath and her mind clicked over to the performer, real Brodie was gone. 

Sebastian, who had moved closer, watched as she transformed into the rock star she was. From the first notes of the song, her whole being changed. No longer the smart, kind, goofy, complicated woman he had come to know in the past couple of days. She was the fierce bad ass that the world saw. She stood in profile from the crowd, the guitar slung low on her left hip, feet planted wide, right heel keeping time, looking to her right at the drums head bobbing. She stepped up to the front and pushed the guitar’s pedal with her foot so naturally you wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t trying to take in every movement. 

She shook her head and put her mouth to the microphone head cocked to the right and started singing, eyes closed at first, then as the first few lyrics came, she opened them and started to make the facial expressions to emphasize the story. When the guitar solo began, she hit the pedal again and stepped back into the original stance, facing Indio this time, he was playing lead and she was smiling like a proud mentor. He noticed she kept the tip of her tongue in the corner of her lips concentrating when she played and he recognized that same look from right before he made her cum, calling his name. 

Fuck, he could not stop thinking of her doing anything he asked, willingly giving him the control, and it was because she was this strong kickass presence underneath that it was so enthralling to him. It wouldn’t have been any good if she wasn’t actually having to give control to him instead of him just taking it. When they set the rules, he was careful to stress that he was not going to be the harsh controlling, sir or master. He wanted her for life not just as a conquest. He wanted her to feel safe and loved with him when they weren’t fucking and still give her the dominance she enjoyed when they were. Robert had filled him in on the Ex not excepting her wants, how he made her feel worthless because of it, and he knew that must have messed with her even more because of her past. 

He could only begin to imagine what she had went through, she was vague but he knew it had to be bad. He thought it made her even more of a miracle to him, she thought it made her worthless to him. How could someone who went through god knows what at such an early age turn out to be the sweetest, kindest, funniest person he had ever known. 

When the song ended, she swung the guitar to her back and hugged Indio. He said “come on one more” she shook her head no “come on” he got the crowd to encourage her. She rubbed her face in her hands and looked for Sebastian in the crowd, trained by Dave to not over shine him. He yelled “do Cherry Bomb” she thought about it for a second and rolled her eyes “last one I mean it” she mouthed to Indio and he just smiled. He loved playing with her she just had so much experience and could fucking play almost anything and it was fun as hell. She slid the guitar back to position. 

The three talked it over quickly and Brodie decided to switch to Indio’s bass because the song needed it. She tested it out for a couple of bars. Sebastian couldn’t stop watching the process. She was so focused and quick on changing from left-handed guitar to right-handed bass. “this is for the one who requested it” she said and winked his way. She counted it down for Ralph, and started playing. This time with a new stance Sebastian noticed, left foot forward, right foot back, bass pointed forward, head banging until she started singing. Half way through Indio started doing the left to right hip sway that the Runaways used to do and Brodie joined him laughing. Each time she sang the line “hello DADDY, hello mom” and emphasized daddy winking at Sebastian. When the song was over, she took off the bass and handed it to Indio. Shaking her head before he could even start talking her into another one. She jumped off the little stage and looked super embarrassed as people were giving her praise, shaking her head and turning red. She was back to real Brodie. 

Sebastian grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up spinning her around when she got to him. “You were amazing baby doll” he whispered in her ear. She shook her head embarrassed and said “I need a drink” 

“come on” he said grabbing her hand.


	30. Where Have You Two Been Doing?

He pulled her out of the party area grabbing a water bottle on the way past them. “Here” he said as he handed it to her still pulling her along “I meant like a drink, drink. Where are we going?” she asked suddenly realizing they were moving away from the party. He didn’t answer her. She used her teeth to open the water bottle because Sebastian was holding her hand so tightly and determinedly dragging her along. He took her to her parked car “I don’t have the keys” she said as they approached and he still didn’t say anything. When they got to the car, he pulled her in his arms and kissed her hard. She dropped the water bottle to put her arms around him. He picked her up and sat her on the hood of the car. “lay back” he said in his Tati voice. She obeyed. He unbuttoned her shorts and pulled them off along with her underwear throwing them on the hood above her head. 

He hooked his arms around her thighs pulling her closer to him and buried his face between her legs his nose rubbing on her clit, his tongue inside her, his hands gripping her hips pulling her closer to his mouth. She arched her back automatically her hands gripped his ears pulling him closer too. He could taste her and he suddenly couldn’t get enough. She cried out as he used his tongue to make her cum and then quickly silenced herself remembering they were outside on the hood of her car during a very large party. She laid back breathless trying to catch up and he already had his pants down and was inside her. He pulled her up so she was sitting on the edge of the hood, legs wrapped around him as he thrusted as hard as he could digging his fingers into her hips, then softening them and rubbing her lower back, and grabbing her hips again. 

“Tati” she whispered in his ear and that was all it took he emptied inside her biting down hard on her shoulder to keep quiet. The pain from the bite made her climax again and she collapsed in a backbend from the release her head on the hood her legs still around Sebastian, her hands on either side of her head holding her neck up. He pulled her up again, and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he gripped her around her waist as tight as he could. He pulled out of her sitting her back on the hood placing his hands on either side of her trying to catch his breath. His head down. They got dressed and held hands swinging them between them as they slowly walked back to the party. Both of them with sly satisfied grins. 

“Well, well, well, where have you two been doing?" said Mackie as they tried to mix back in without anyone noticing. 

“Don’t you mean ‘what’ have we been doing?” Sebastian corrected him

“Oh, I know what, I’m just wondering where” Mackie said laughing

“I have no idea what you mean” Brodie said in an exaggerated innocent voice

“Mmmmm- hmmmmm” “Hey sweetheart, you have a good memory, you remember our song?”

“Yes, I do” Brodie said smiling

“There is no way” Mackie countered “you couldn’t possibly” 

“I do” she said firmly Mackie didn’t look convinced and Sebastian looked confused “alright I will go have the DJ put it on and if I am right, which I am, you come out and dance with me”

“Deal” agreed Mackie shaking her hand

“Wait, what is happening?” Sebastian asked

She went to the DJ and asked him to play Jumpin’ Jumpin’ by Destiny’s Child he agreed if she would come and sign some of his records after.

She went back over to Mackie and Sebastian “I hope you’re ready to admit defeat” she said 

The song started and Mackie said “Damn it! Now I gotta dance with her.” He looked at Sebastian “Rules are rules” Sebastian looked at him suspiciously. They went to the dancefloor and Mackie took her hand holding it up above her head and led her to a spot. He pulled her closer and they started dancing like they did when they first met at some club in New Orleans. Sebastian was watching carefully. 

“Hey, guess what? I have met Beyoncé now” 

“yeah, and are you friends now? Do you have her number?” 

“Actually, I do and no you can’t have it. She’s fucking gorgeous in person, but I ended up talking to Jay Z all night” he laughed 

“I’m gonna take you as my wingman then so you can distract him as I work my charm on Beyoncé” 

Chris Evans was already dancing and came closer to them. “you better watch it, Seb doesn’t look amused” he said to Mackie. “He’s fine” he answered. 

He was fine until he noticed that Mackie kept putting his hand on her lower back. That was his spot. The song bled into the next one and Mackie walked back over to Sebastian while Brodie stayed out to dance with the Evans boys. 

“whoo, your girl can dance.” He said 

“Mmm-hmm” 

“Seb you’re not mad, are you?” He just looked at him “Seb come on, we’re just playin’” 

“you have a song?” 

“Ok let me explain” and Mackie told him all about the time they met and how it blew him away that she remembered him. He told him that they were just teasing him and the wildest thing they did that night was try to find out how to join the illuminati so they could go meet Tupac. Sebastian had to admit they got him, but he still wasn’t happy about the hand on her lower back. 

She came over to him “come on dance with me” he shook his head no “Why not? Come on, please” 

“I can’t until you tell me if you actually are in the illuminati now” she laughed  
“he told you, huh?” 

“mmm-hmm, very nice working with my enemy against me.” 

“Aw, don’t be mad Tati, come dance with me.” 

He let her drag him on to the dance floor she put her arms around his neck and kissed him. He took both of his hands and slipped them under her shirt and just under her waist band an inch. She kissed him harder. “is this something that has always got you going?” he had to know. 

“No actually, this is definitely new, and I can’t figure out why, must be only your hands” 

“Cuz’ you’re mine” he said simply. She smiled she couldn’t help really liking the fact that he called her that. “It was pissing me off that Mackie kept touching you there”

“He did?” 

“Yeah, like a lot”

“I didn’t even notice” she shrugged and she hadn’t noticed. She never had a reaction like the one with Sebastian, ever. “Tati, I promise you. I would never cheat on you. I know what that feels like and I would never do that to you or anyone else. So, whatever you think that somebody is making me feel or want, it’s not true unless I tell you, ok?” he nodded. “But you are gonna have to remove your hands now because I honestly can’t take it anymore and I might have to drag you out to the parking spot again” he just settled them in a little lower instead. 

“this is what you get for being on Mackie’s side” She figured she deserved it, and it wasn’t really a punishment.


	31. That Was The Last Time

They were driving home, Sebastian behind the wheel. They had stayed singing Karaoke alone, together, and in groups until they had sung every song they could think of. They had a great time, and Sebastian said his goodbyes to everyone before they left. He wanted to have tomorrow alone with Brodie before he had to leave. 

She was watching his profile and how the street lights would light up his face and then it would fall back into shadow again lit up only by the instrument panel of the car. She had no idea why and could never pinpoint what it was that made her do it but she suddenly said “Sebastian?’

“Hmmm?” he said glancing at her and then back at the road

“when I was 5 almost 6 my mother came and took us from our grandmother because she and my stepdad… anyway that’s another story, but she took us away from Nona and Duncan, he was like 4, he cried because he didn’t remember our mother.”

Sebastian stayed focused on the road not wanting to move and make her stop talking and just nodded quietly.

“Anyway, she got really mad at him for crying and when we got to the house we were going to live in, Duncan was still crying, so she hit him really hard and I jumped in between them. My stepfather, he said “do you want to take his beating then?” and I said “yes” because I couldn’t stand to see him get hurt. So, he said ok but here are the rules to this game, you can take the beating meant for him and he will be safe but if you cry, I will beat you and then come back and finish the beating he deserves.” 

He looked over at her “what did you do?” he asked gently

“I took the beating, and I didn’t cry until the very end, but I just couldn’t stop myself and I broke the rules so, Duncan …” she didn’t finish and didn’t need to he understood “That was the last time” 

“that you took Duncan’s punishment?”

“no, that I lost the game” she said it so matter of fact and that is what broke his heart the most.

He finished the drive to her house; she had fallen asleep on the way. He caressed her cheek to try to wake her to go inside but she was out. He went around and lifted her out of the seat and carried her inside. She half woke up looked up at him and smiled snuggling deeper in his arms. He put her in bed “Hey you want to change?” he whispered in her ear “No I want to stay Brodie” he laughed “Good” “Tati come to bed” she said dreamily he got undressed and got in next to her, she must of undressed when he did because as she pressed up against him all he felt was her warm skin against his. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close protectively. 

Sebastian was awakened by a sudden violent movement on the bed next to him. He rolled over quickly to see what was going on. It was almost dawn, the stars still out but the horizon was just beginning to turn light blue. He couldn’t wrap his brain around what he saw for a few seconds then he realized it was Brodie. She was sitting up hugging her knees to her chest tightly, her back against the head board, eyes wide and scanning the darkness.

“hey” he said softly and she flinched as if he had punched her. He carefully got out of the bed and went around to the other side kneeling down on the floor. 

“Hey, hey, baby doll. Its ok, you’re safe. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, ok?” He reached out and gently touched her foot. She flinched but not as strongly as the first time. He moved his hand up to her ankle and placed his other hand on the opposite one. 

“It’s ok baby doll, I’m here, come on, come here.” he opened his arms to her as he stood up. 

She looked up at him “I’m sorry, I’m kinda fucked up” 

“no, no, don’t. it’s ok. Come here, let me hold you, I promise, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” she hesitated and then opened her arms to him. He scooped her up off the bed holding her tightly. Her arms came around his waist, he could feel how her whole body trembled. 

“There you go, come on, let’s lay back down together” he picked her up and laid her on the bed getting in next to her and wrapping her in his arms.

She laid her head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat. He held her tightly and buried his face in her hair, kissing the top of her head. He could feel her start to relax. Then just as her breathing steadied and he could tell she was falling asleep, he felt tears warm on his chest making a path across it and dripping down his side. It was already love for him, he realized and he held her tighter trying to memorize how she felt in his arms, her smell, the sound of her soft breathing. For the first time since he became an actor, he didn’t want to go to work, he knew Sunday morning’s goodbye was going to be brutal and he vowed to give them both the best day tomorrow to hold on to until they could be together again.

The alarm sounded and Brodie, laying on her stomach starfish like, said “Oh fuck me!” to the room. 

“Ok, just give me a second to wake up”

She lifted her head and looked towards the voice, Sebastian was lying face up next to her yawning.

She laughed “I was talking to the alarm clock” she said groggy “it usually doesn’t answer.”

“Too late, I’m awake enough. Come here” and he pulled on her arm 

“What” she whined

“Come here”

“Rrrrrrhhhhhlll” She said into the bed. 

“Come here baby doll, now”

She pushed herself up and crawled to him “yes Tati?”

“Come on get up here” he patted his chest, she straddled him on all fours.

He pushed her hips downward until his dick was deep inside her, she sat up hands on his chest,  
looking at his sleepy face. 

“Good morning Tati”

“well it is now” he said his hands tightly gripping her hips as she grinded on top of him 

“harder baby doll” 

“ok” 

“ok what?” 

“ok Tati” 

“that’s a good girl” she was about to cum when he lifted her off his cock.

“not yet” he ordered. He rolled her on her back and placed her hands above her head “grab the bars” he said and then glared at her for a response 

“yes Tati” she whined it aching for the release. He bit her right nipple 

“faster next time baby doll” he bit it again 

“yes Tati” she said immediately 

“better’ he slid down her body until his face was between her legs hovering his mouth over her “you were such a bad ass last night” he said she could feel his breath on her clit 

“thank you, Tati” she couldn’t help it and she whispered “please” 

he smiled “please what baby doll?” 

“please make me cum Tati” he put his mouth on her clit and sucked it, she immediately came, he pulled back a little pushing her knees out and up towards her chest so he could watch her opening contract as she did. He slid two fingers inside her and she yelled out “Fucking hell Sebastian”

“You make Tati very happy” he said “you’re such a good girl I love to watch you perform on stage. It makes me so proud of my baby doll.” 

“does that mean I can have you inside me now?” she asked, he wiggled his two fingers. “no I mean the big gun” she said still not completely released from the first wave of coming.

“hmmmm” he considered and was driving her insane 

“please Tati” she almost cried it 

“you know I like it when you beg me” he pulled his fingers out of her and slid up her body she was still holding on to the bars of the headboard 

“please can I let go and touch you” 

“do you want to touch me or do you want me inside you? You only get one.”

“inside me” she said before he finished his sentence 

“what?” 

“inside me! Sebastian! Please!” she begged he buried himself inside her thrusting hard and fast until they were both at the crest. 

“you can let go now” he whispered in her ear and she wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him. The feel of her surrounding him inside and out had him crying out her name as he came emptying himself deep inside her. He laid there on top of her, unable to move. “Am I hurting you?” he mumbled 

“no” Please don’t leave tomorrow, please don’t leave she chanted in her head.

“’kay good” she chuckled at how cute he was all laid out on top of her, his dick still inside her, his breath on her neck. It was the happiest she could ever remember being, ever. Tomorrow is gonna rip my heart out she thought and tightened her legs around him so she could have him inside her for as long as possible.


	32. Bitch, I Know What I Said!

They finally, reluctantly, separated. Brodie motivated by the thought of coffee, Sebastian by the thought of breakfast. They moved through the kitchen making food as if they had lived together for years. 

“how do you feel about New York?” he asked as they were eating

“Uh, the state or the city?”

“Both I guess”

“in what context?”

“living there?”

“Well it’s a hell of a town, the Bronx is up and the Battery…” she pointed down “so, good, I guess”

“Yikes”

“Hey if I can make it there, I can make it anywhere” She sang the word ‘anywhere’

“I think I’m sorry I asked”

“Hey, I’m an Italian musician from New Jersey Sinatra is God!” “Oh wait.” She turned on the home sound system from her phone, she had it installed so it would play though out the house in every room. Sinatra’s smooth voice started crooning ‘I’ve got the world on a string.’ 

“This is my favorite Sinatra song and to answer your question, I love New York why?” 

“would you live there?” he asked watching her carefully

“I do live there. Well, when I’m not living here.”

“you do? Where?”

“Little Italy, I have a small place on Mulberry between Grand and Broome. It was where my Great grandparents lived when they first came to the US. My Grandma was like 2, she grew up there. It’s a super tiny, one bedroom and they had 10 kids so I always like to go there and remember what they gave me,” she waved her arms around to indicate her fortune “Why do you ask?”

“because I live in New York.”

“right” they were going to have to deal with it at some point, she thought.

“would you be willing to come there a lot if I come here a lot?” he asked hoping for some kind of compromise 

“I mean, yeah.” She shrugged “I want to get to know my nephew when he’s born but I could work it out.”

“It’s a boy?” he smiled surprised

“yeah, that’s what the ultrasound said, I just saw it like a Rorschach test but Duncan says there’s a pee-pee there.” He laughed that she used the word “pee-pee” “look, Duncan is the only family I have but he’s got his own little family on the way now. I’m not really tied down anywhere.”

“What about Robert?” It was more than he could hope for that she would actually want to move there.

“Oh fuck, this week has been the most I have seen him in person in forever and it will last me for, well, let’s say I’m good for a while.” She was joking but then said seriously “We are good at long distance, if I need him or he needs me…” she snapped her fingers and then remembered Endgame, Sebastian was grimacing for the same reason “wait, no not that! I mean we will be there for each other in a second.” They laughed 

“But, I’m more concerned with how do you feel about it?” she started to tap her leg up and down nervously and realized he was doing the same. “I mean, we’ve been together for like 4-5 days. It’s all fine and good for a short time but, do you think you’ll change your mind when you get back to your real life?” she was certain that he would he just didn’t realize it.

“See that’s the thing, this feels more like a real life than working all the time, doing all that stuff that goes along with this business and I mean you and me, together, I know it’s only been a few days but…”

“but?”

“when I think about leaving tomorrow?” He said tearing up “I can’t even breathe.” She nodded understanding exactly what he meant. 

“Well” she said carefully “we’re just gonna have to make it work or else both of us are going to die of self-auto-erotica-asphyxiation syndrome” she said it wrong on purpose to make him laugh “Because I feel the same way.”

He laughed through his tears “I don’t think that means what you think it means”

“Bitch, I know what I said!” 

“Brodie?”

“Huh?”

“Be my girl?” he was so damn cute waiting for an answer looking nervous she might say no.

“Yes Sebastian”

She texted Duncan as Sebastian was in the shower singing ‘My Way’ along with Sinatra either he was getting better at singing or she was getting used to it, nope he actually wasn’t bad, she concluded.

B- Hey how’s Ellie?  
D- Good. Nothing yet.  
B- You free?  
D- What happened?  
B- Flashback  
D- When?  
B- Last night  
D- Which one?  
B- Basement  
D- Shit! How bad?  
B- 7-8  
D- You didn’t call me?  
B- Sebastian was here  
D- So?  
B- He took care of it  
D- Wow, really?  
B- Yep. Duncan it’s getting serious with him.  
D- Brodie…  
B- I know. Look we’re going to Disneyland. Need anything for Jr?  
D- No god damn it, the kid already has a room full of Disney and he’s not even born yet!  
B- Oh, just wait until he can ask me for stuff! So, I’ll just get something small.  
D- Goodbye Brodie  
B- Bye-eee!

They were on the way to Disneyland and Brodie was super excited, she loved Disneyland and all things Disney.

“I just realized that you’re a Disney character so I am fucking…”

“dating” he corrected

“dating and fucking” he rolled his eyes at her “a Disney…prince?” 

“what is your point with this?” he said laughing

“Sebastian you should just accept that my weird ramblings have no point” he laughed “and you should know that I can be a little embarrassing at Disneyland”

“Doll I am proud of every batshit crazy thing you do” 

“and I’m proud of every meme and gif of you looking adorably confused on the internet” he laughed 

“Where are you going we aren’t in Anaheim yet?” she asked when she noticed he was exiting 

“Oh, pitstop really quick” he said vaguely

“ok” she went on singing along to her Disney playlist it was currently on ‘Be Our Guest’ and Sebastian was also singing along. She realized they were driving someplace familiar. She thought maybe he was taking her to see Sal and Salvatore and get pizza, she was ok with that so she didn’t say anything. Then he turned at the wrong street and pulled up to the Disney Studios gate.

“Uh, what are you doing?” 

“my girl wants to see the studios, she sees the studios” he said and kissed her cheek “I told you I made some calls” 

She was so surprised she had no words. He pulled up and gave the guard their names and he placed a little ‘visitors’ sign in the windshield. When Sebastian parked the car, she unbuckled her seat belt and jumped in his lap as best she could in the confined area. She kissed him. She couldn’t stop smiling. “Thank you, thank you so much I can’t even tell you how much this means to me.” 

“we haven’t even done anything yet” he was laughing at how adorably excited she was to just be in the gate “come on Doll, let’s go have fun”


	33. I’ll Be Back To Get Him Soon

They had stayed up all night not wanting to miss a second they had left. They were both exhausted from the day, the Disney Studios and then Disneyland. Sebastian had been recognized a few times by fans but he was sweet and kind to them and they all left him alone after a photo and an autograph. Brodie made him wear mouse ears and he looked so cute in them she couldn’t stop taking his picture everywhere. They stayed late at the park until the crowd had thinned and they could be a little less cautious about acting like a couple in public. Walking down main street from the statue of Walt and Mickey to the gate hand in hand was something Brodie would recall a lot for the rest of her life. The buildings lit up, and the smell of the park, the sound of familiar Disney songs playing as they slowly moved towards the main street train station tunnel and out the gate to go back to Brodie’s house. They started off having sex in a fun light hearted way but as the time came closer it got more serious.

They both knew this would be the last time for a while, that they would be this way, their bodies linked together. She couldn’t understand how she could get so damn attached to him in such a little bit of time, 6 days changed everything about her life. He kissed her sweetly as he pulled himself out of her “I’m gonna miss you doll” he said as he got up to get in the shower. She watched him start to walk towards the bathroom and then stop, his shoulders and head dropped. She jumped up to embrace him “I’m gonna miss you, too” 

The alarm on Sebastian’s phone sounded as he was holding her tight, his face tucked into her neck. She had a sudden wave of emotion that came on so fast that she had no time to use any of her tricks. Shit, shit, I can’t control it she panicked in her head. He felt her tense and then shake with one silent sob, he pulled back to look at her face. She avoided his eyes looking up at the ceiling, two tears slowly making their way over the lip of her bottom lids. He watched as they slowly slid down her cheeks, the right one a little faster than the left. He could feel her trying to pull them back, trying to control her feelings. He took her face in his hands and used his thumbs to catch the drops before they reached the bottom of her cheeks. He took his thumbs and used her tears to draw a heart shape on his chest over his own heart. He held her face again and softly kissed her forehead. “now I carry them with me. I’ll protect them and no one’s gonna hurt you doll.” She knew he meant it, and she let herself cry in front of another person for the first time since she had failed to save Duncan from their stepfather’s beating. 

He held her tightly as she sobbed into his chest. His heart was breaking that he had to leave and he wondered how he ever lived before he met her 6 days ago. He waited until the tears had stopped and she was sniffling and hiccupping from the release. “Brodie, you’re mine and I’m yours, no matter where we are, or how long we are apart, okay?” 

“I swear to god if you say “til the end of the line’ I’m gonna punch you.” He chuckled 

“Ok how about we just agree that there is no line and this is never gonna end?” 

“ok” she agreed

“ok” 

She stood in the living room listening to the way too quiet house. She tried to breathe through the enormous lump in her throat. She could still smell him, she could still feel his hands on her face, his mouth on hers as he said goodbye turning to get in the car sent for him. She had met the manager Emily briefly. Brodie was afraid she was going to hate her because of the whole Sebastian staying thing, but she was actually nice. When Brodie tried to apologize she told her that it was not her fault and that she felt bad that she had been so hard on him. 

Now alone she went and sat on the couch where she took the first step of trusting him. She put her hand down and felt something, she looked, it was the Bucky head she had tucked in her pocket that night. She must have dropped it when he had laid on top of her. She got up to put it back in the box and saw lil Bucky placed back on the shelf front and center with his weapon pointed forward to the room. There was a post it by his feet.

Doll,  
I’m leaving lil Bucky to protect you while I’m gone, but I’ll be back to get him soon.  
S.

She burst into tears and laid on the couch sobbing until she had nothing left. She forced herself to get up and go into the bedroom convincing herself that she could smell him on the sheets and that would make her feel better. She could, but it made her cry again at some point she fell asleep.

The phone rang with the ring tone she had picked out for Sebastian and she practically fell off the bed grabbing for it.   
“Hey” she answered  
“Hey Doll. I’m here.”  
“ok good glad you made it safe”  
“yeah, I’m exhausted”  
“I bet, we stayed up all night, go get some sleep you have to be on set early, right?”  
“Yeah.” He paused for a few seconds “I miss you so fucking much already”  
“I miss you too.” She started to cry but tried not to let him know and on the other end he was doing exactly the same thing.   
“I’ll call you as soon as I wake up”  
“ok, talk to you then.”  
“ok…Brodie?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I…wish you were here with me” he wasn’t going to tell her he loved her for the first time over the phone.  
“Me too” She wasn’t going to tell him she loved him for the first time over the phone.

Monday afternoon the doorbell rang she was not up to answering it. So, she just laid in her bed curled in a ball, tears falling. She hadn’t moved much from that spot in the past 24 hours. Not even the thought of coffee made her want to get up. She felt as if she had somehow exited the carefully laid path she had made and was now deep in the dark forest somewhere with no fucking clue which direction she was even facing. Suddenly all that shit she thought she could keep down deep was fighting to be brought up to the surface. This was the reason why she locked it down tight, if it sees one little ray of light the whole fucking thing bursts open. She could always stop it before but now it was too big, too many years of swallowing her feelings and keeping herself hidden.

“You forget I have a key darling?” she jumped at Robert’s voice 

“yeah” she said quietly “go away. I’m fine”

He came over to her and looked down head cocked to one side “Brodie, come on darling when was the last time you ate something” 

“doesn’t matter” she said 

“Jesus, he didn’t die! He just went to work. You guys are gonna have to get used to being apart at least some of the time” She flipped him off. He was unnerved a little by the fact that she was crying in front of him and it scared him that of all the times they had heart to hearts, all the fucking awful things she told him, he had never seen her shed one tear and now she was just like a broken faucet. “Brodie, bambola, look, you’re kind of scaring me here a little” 

“yeah, well, this is me now” he sighed he knew wallowing in self-pity when he saw it.

“Alright, enough.” He pulled her up “come on Susan sent you food” 

“Not hungry” she said like a cranky toddler.

“Did I ask you if you were fucking hungry?” she glared at him “NOW, BRODIE” she dutifully shuffled into the kitchen. “Look this is what is going to happen, you are going to eat and then you are going to take a shower and get dressed and I am taking you to my house.” 

“I don’t wa..” 

“This is not a discussion. We’re going!” Brodie had a clear memory of her saying that to Robert when he was struggling to stay clean and she took him to a meeting. She answered him the same way he had answered her so many years ago. 

“Fuck off! … fine, but I’m not going to stand up and say anything” he smiled at her and he felt a wave of relief that she had said something that vaguely sounded like her. 

Driving to Robert’s house she was still being difficult and grumpy but at least she seemed more stable to him. “Darling, remember the night of the premiere when I read your phone when you and Evans were fucking around?” 

“Yeah” she was looking out the side window watching the scenery streak past, Robert always drove too fast to piss her off.

“you know why I never did anything with that awesome information, that I must say I very smoothly acquired?” 

“Because you’re saving it for right now when I’m at my lowest?” 

“No Brodie, but good guess” 

“Why?” she sighed not really wanting to know

“Because I knew you two were going to hit it off, and I was really hoping that he would make you happy” 

“Whatever” she sulked still staring out the window

“No, I really did. How many times did I offer to introduce you?” 

“Come on Robert! You are honestly going to tell me this is all your evil plan?” Now she was getting angry. He could handle angry Brodie.

“No darling, I am honestly going to tell you that you need to stop pretending that this about being terrified that he won’t come back. You got him, relax. You’re scared and want to run because you want to be the first one who bolts this time, because you’re all feeling, feelings” she sighed she hated that he knew her so fucking well. 

“I hate you” she spit out at him

“yeah, I hate you too” he said patting her hand he could feel her anger rising

“so, you want to talk about the y-ing-cray?” he was kind of impressed that Sebastian had gotten that to happen, a little angry and protective and wondering if it was because he hurt her on purpose, but really impressed if he had somehow broken through that steel barrier in, what, 5-6 days?

“what can I say, turns out I’m a real human not a cyborg” back to sulking he gaged time to push

“I knew it! When you’re done being a sarcastic sulking bitch maybe we can have a discussion like humans.” he knew the angrier she got the closer she was to actually listening.

“Fuck you Downey” Ah! There we are! he thought.

“Brodie. Listen to me. I am so fucking proud of you for letting yourself relax and be vulnerable. But god damn it, trust him that he really does like you and is coming back, but most of all for fucks sake, trust in yourself that you will be ok if he doesn’t, and more importantly that you are worth coming back for.” 

“meh” she said but she knew he was right.

“You know, a friend told me that when I was scared to be with Susan.” 

“yes, well that must be your most awesome, intelligent and beautiful friend” she said dripping in sarcasm

“yes, you are” 

“I definitely said it more eloquently though” That’s my Brodie he thought pleased to see her start to return.

She thought about it the rest of the day. The only way she was going to get over it was to deal with it. For whatever reason, Sebastian held some kind of key to open that shit show and even if that’s all they ever had together, those 6 days, at least he did that for her. Feeling sorry for herself wasn’t going to help anything and she didn’t want to be this crying mess that Sebastian had to fix or caudle she wanted to be his equal. The reason they clicked so quickly was that her weaknesses were his strengths and his weaknesses her strengths. Plus, underneath the whole famous cool actor and influential cool musician they were both mostly total dorks. She wanted to be better for him, but Robert was right she had to be better for herself. 

“Alright Downey” she said that evening when she was ready to go home and deal with the quiet and get back to work “give me the keys to the car and my house key too.”

“No deal, you are not driving my car” he said

“why not? I drive better than you, old man” 

“Are you serious? You drive like a fucking maniac!” he said grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

“Bitch, I seem to remember someone going to prison for a DUI and it wasn’t me” she said following him.

Susan shook her head watching the exchange, things were back to crazy with them.


	34. It's Time

Brodie, already in a foul mood from spending 2 days doing her absolutely least favorite thing crying uncontrollably, had to conduct interviews for a new assistant for the road. She hated having an assistant, hated having to need one so badly she had no choice. She felt that the position of Brodie Lee’s Personal Assistant was akin to the drummer in Spinal Tap, there just wasn’t one that was going to be permanent. It wasn’t because she was difficult, it was the opposite, she was too easy going. She was horrible at letting someone do things for her. Actually, if she was honest it was because the one assistant that she had let get close and handle things was the one she found in bed with David. The fact that she had betrayed Brodie was more painful than David’s. 

There weren’t a lot of female companions on the road. Music was definitely a boy’s club, no matter how far women had kicked their way into it. It was exhausting being the only girl for miles. Rock musicians are not the most cultured of crowds. She would say 7 out of 10 males on the road were in it for the money, drugs and sex. It didn’t matter how the world saw her; the rock guys saw her as ‘that chick who was a pretty good musician for a piece of ass’. At least being married to Dave was helpful in one area, they left her alone physically, most of the time. 

When she found Theresa and hired her, they got along pretty well right away. Theresa said all the right things about giving her a break and letting go so Brodie could focus. They became friends and Brodie had confided in her the problems her and David were having, how he wasn’t interested in her sexually unless he wanted something from her, how it bugged him when people brought up that they were married. He thought that it made him seem ‘whipped’ that she was the lead in the band, the songwriter, and the one that was at the front all the time. 

Dave wasn’t a good husband, what he was good at was knowing just what to say to make her feel like he was the only one who knew how special she was, the only one who gave a rat’s ass about her, and the only one who would be able to stomach her issues. She was damaged, worthless without her musical gift, and that was all that she should ever hope to have people want from her. It wasn’t anything different than what Brodie already believed about herself. When she walked into the hotel room and found David with another woman, she didn’t really even register it as something bad until she saw who the woman was under him. 

So, there she sat, in an unused office at the agency that represented the band waiting to ask a bunch of stupid questions and read a bunch of resumes trying to find someone to help her do this kind of thing right here. “Alright let’s get it over with, who’s the first victim?” she said to JD the bands manager. “Brodie try to be positive for once” he said. Maybe I can find a new manager too she thought bitterly. 

They had seen six potential candidates. JD was getting frustrated with how picky Brodie was being. “It’s not like you have to marry them.” he hissed at her “No, that’s Dave’s job” she snapped back. That shut him up. She knew how much JD had facilitated Dave and his extra martials and she knew JD was loyal to Dave not her. Her phone rang with Duncan’s ring tone and she immediately picked it up

“What’s up? She asked immediately

“It’s time. Ellie’s in labor” he said in a panicked yet calm voice.

“I’m on my way, meet you at the hospital” she said and hung up

“Well JD just pick whoever you think Dave will want to fuck, I don’t care just make sure they can keep their mouth shut about me and Sebastian” and she bolted.

Seven hours later Brodie was holding her nephew. He was perfect. She texted Sebastian

B- Sorry, I have a new man in my life and he has stolen my heart already!   
She sent a picture of his sweet face.   
S- Wow, I can’t compete with that! He’s gorgeous. How’s Ellie?  
B- She’s good and a mother fucking badass! Duncan on the other hand almost fainted twice.  
S- lol. How are you doing?   
B- good. Better right now. You?  
S- I miss you but good  
B- I miss you too.  
S- What’s the name?  
B- Oh shit! I’m already a horrible aunt, Joseph Brody Bolla   
(Duncan had changed his name years ago too)  
S- That’s so sweet!   
B- Yeah, I had no idea until he was born. They went for the “y” not the “ie” cuz it’s more boy I guess but whatever. This kid is going to get anything he asks for and stuff he doesn’t ask for.  
S- If I change my middle name to Brody will you give me anything I ask for?  
B- No need, I will already do that. Plus, stuff you don’t ask for.  
S- Crap  
B- hard-on back?  
S- yep  
B- Hey how do you feel about kids?  
S- uh, in what way?  
B- Do you want kids?  
S- I mean, I guess. I don’t really think about it. I guess it would be ok.  
B- ok  
S- Why? You got something to tell me?  
B- NO! I’m way past being able to have them so…  
S- So?   
B- So if you want one of these you might want to think about it  
She sent a picture of Joseph sleeping  
S- I want you doll. That’s it. I can feel you overthinking this. I want you. end of discussion.  
B- ok  
S- Tell Ellie and Duncan congrats from me  
B- I will

She actually didn’t need to because the next day at Ellie and Duncan’s house a delivery of flowers, a basket of baby items including lots of Marvel gear, and a box of cigars with “It’s a Boy” on them arrived from Sebastian. 

“I like him” Duncan said unwrapping one of the cigars. 

“You go outside with that!” Ellie yelled at him “I like him too” she said to Brodie who was looking through the basket picking out all the Captain America stuff. Brodie stayed silent “Brodie?” 

“Hmmm?” 

“do you like him?” 

she shrugged and looked at Ellie “yes. I really do” 

“that’s so great! I’m so happy for you” she spread her arms out to all the gifts “clearly he likes you too” she shrugged again keeping busy in the basket. “Brodie?” 

“what?” Ellie just stared at her “He asked me to be his girl and I said yes” she said quietly 

Ellie started to cheer but then stopped herself so she wouldn’t wake up the baby she whispered “yaaaay! Why are you being weird about it?” 

“because Duncan gets weird about it when I get serious with someone” 

“that’s because you always get serious about losers” 

“hey!” she whisper yelled. Ellie just looked at her “fine, but still”


	35. Highest Bidder Doll

She fell head first into the routine that was her default with two big exceptions. She stopped by every day to see little Joseph always making sure they had anything they needed. She didn’t stay longer than she needed and was switching off with Ellie’s mom on cooking or bringing food. When Robert and Susan had come by to see the new addition, Brodie had been there making food. Robert took one look at all the stuff Sebastian had sent came to the kitchen and said “Really? You doubt him?” and walked out. 

The second change was Sebastian. They kept in constant contact with texting, calling, video chat, and even a few e-mails. She was texting him while in line at the Starbucks closest to her house about three weeks after he had left. She usually made coffee at home but she was in a hurry for rehearsal.

B- No I swear “While you were sleeping” is the best rom-com  
S- you are out of your mind! Better than Notting Hill or Love Actually?  
B – yes! Wait one sec

She thought she caught a familiar face towards the back of the store when she had casually looked around. 

S- you ok?  
B- yeah, I just thought I saw someone I knew. Anyway, Sandra Bullock!!! 

In week four she again was faced with a tight schedule and stopped at the same Starbucks. She was scrolling through her email waiting in line when something caught her eye and she looked to her right. This time she knew she saw Dee. Damn it. She lives way far away from here. What the fuck. She brushed it off. Maybe she moved or something. She was too busy to deal with it, the band’s first show for the tour was next week. She thought about telling Robert but knew he was busy. It’s no big deal she told herself, it’s a public place.

In the beginning of week five she saw Dee again at the same Starbucks. She texted Sebastian  
B- you busy  
S- I got a minute for you doll  
B- I just feel like I need to tell somebody  
S- What?  
B- I just saw Dee for the second time for sure. You remember who she is?  
S- Yes where?  
B- Starbucks I thought I saw her a third time but I wasn’t sure.  
S- Are you safe?  
B- oh yeah! I’m fine it’s just weird. It’s probably nothing. I just wanted to tell you.  
S- I’m glad you did. Be careful ok?  
B- Me?? I’m always careful. Wait never mind I take it back I don’t want you send me any examples.  
S- lol. Miss you  
B- miss you too

She was a little freaked out that she had seen Dee twice in the last week. She hadn’t seen her since that night with Sebastian at the bar but it could be a coincidence. She decided to go to a different coffee shop just to ease the bad feeling she was getting. She was standing in line waiting to order when her phone signaled. It was a text from Chris Evans

C- hey  
B- hey  
C- what you doing?  
B- Getting coffee  
C- cool  
B- What’s up?  
C- Nothing  
B- ok…?  
C- I was wondering if you could do me a favor?  
B- Sure. What do you need?  
C- Could you order me that last blueberry muffin, I’m hungry and I just know the lady in front of me is going to get it.

Brodie looked behind her down the line and there was Chris smiling. She waved him up to stand with her. He came over pretending to sneak past the line. He gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. It made her miss Sebastian. 

“How’s Seb?” he asked as if he heard her thought

“He’s good, he’s busy”

“How long before he’s done?”

“For EVER!” she sighed and pretended to sob

“Awww” he put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her close. “you in a hurry?’

“No not really”

“Good let’s sit and talk”

“Yeah, ok” She was happy to be with someone who knew Sebastian so she could feel not so lonely. They got their orders and found a little table to sit outside. 

“What have you been doing since Seb left?” Chris asked carefully

“Actually, I have a new baby nephew, Joseph, and I’ve been spoiling him.” She had the bragging aunt pictures at the ready and showed him. “Besides that, nothing much, working, getting ready for a show here in two days”

“Yeah?” his face lit up “that is the coolest thing to just say like it’s nothing.” He slouched in his chair and made a dismissive face waving his hand “I got a show in a couple days. No big deal” she laughed at his impression of her. “meanwhile me and the rest of the world are entering the thunder dome to fight for tickets” he mimicked holding someone in a headlock punching them in the head. 

“Hey Chris, would you like to come to the show? I think I might be able to swing it.” she said in the same way he had mimicked her.

“Really?” she nodded “Yes! If it’s not too much to ask” he said 

“No worries, how many?”

“Uh, 2? I can bring Scott.”

“Oh cool! The cute one! I will put you both on the list, both with plus ones in case you want to bring someone else” she sent a quick text. “ok all set.”

“Thanks Brodie, I can’t wait!” he grabbed her hand and she squeezed his back. 

“Anytime Cap” he smiled

“For some reason I like it when you call me Cap, I think it’s the way you say it, half with respect and half fuck off” She laughed 

“I think that’s just my normal tone, and speaking of cool things to say ‘Ma’am’” and she saluted “that must get a lot of women” he laughed in the way that everyone on the internet talked about, head back grabbing his left boob. 

“So really how are you doing? I know you guys got pretty close, pretty fast, but then he had to leave. You hanging in there?” it was a sweet and genuine concern

“It’s tough because it was so fast and then it’s easy to think ‘well, I am just making more out of it then it was’. I don’t know I go back and forth with doubting myself, but he calls and texts everyday and he seems as in to it as I am, but still.” She shrugged

“I think you two are meant to be together, I thought he was a dork but then…” he side-eyed her cringing

“Hey! Watch it Captain mirror reflection. You’re pretty dorky yourself”

“I know that’s why I recognize it.” He smiled “here, let’s see something” he took out his phone and started typing

“what are you doing?” she asked

“Texting Seb. I’m telling him I met the hottest girl in a coffee shop and I am in love” she laughed “he texted back good for you. I’m gonna ask if he wants to see a picture” they waited for a reply “Ok. He said: ‘sure, question mark’. Come here” she leaned in and they put their cheeks together he took the picture and sent it off. Then he leaned in and went to kiss the corner of her mouth but she turned and they kissed nose to nose, he sent that one off. “Oh! he kisses you with that mouth?” 

“what did he say?” he showed it to her

S- EVANS BACK OFF MY GIRL MOTHERFUCKER OR I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF AND MAKE YOU FUCKING EAT THEM! 

She laughed as her phone went off

S- WTF are you doing?  
B- No worries. I just ran into Cap and he offered to show me his weapon (sword emoji)

Chris’ phone went off, he looked at it and laughed “ohhh, I think we got him mad!” he turned his phone so she could see it, it was a gif from the Winter Soldier with Bucky standing over Cap punching him saying “you’re my mission” she laughed

B- not to worry Tati, I only have eyes for you. (heart eyes emoji)  
S- not your eyes I’m worried about  
B- Ok. how about I went to a coffee shop and ran into Evans and we are just messing with you?  
S- Ok, better.   
B- miss you  
S- I miss you so fucking much it takes all my strength to not just leave and come be with you.   
B- I know me too, but soon.   
S- not soon enough, doll. I gotta go sorry  
B- ‘k bye

Chris was laughing at the last thing Sebastian had sent him “He said ‘fuck you, asshole!’ Then ‘do me a favor, watch after my girl’ See he feels the same as you.” She smiled sadly “look I’ve got just the thing to cheer you up” he said

“Disneyland?”

“Yeah, but that’s not… I love Disneyland! Anyway, no come over to my place” 

“Uh, I like you and all but…” he laughed

“No, come hang out with my dog Dodger and me and we’ll watch any Disney movie you want”

She thought about all the stuff she had to do and how she couldn’t possibly blow off the day and said “Yeah, ok, I would love to.” 

“Ok let me just text Seb that that’s what we’re doing” he said she started to say no and he clarified “Not teasing him, just so he knows it’s on the up and up” she smiled and kissed him on the cheek “you’re a good friend” he blushed.

From the moment she stepped in the door at Chris’ she and Dodger were in love. She sat on the floor two steps in the door and rubbed his belly. “Who’s a good baby? Yes, you are! Dodger is the good boy!”

“Do you have dogs?” Chris asked after she finally moved to the other room with Dodger right behind her

“no. I’ve always wanted one though.” She sighed wistfully

“you should get one, you’re clearly in love with them.”

“Ugh, I can’t even keep a plant alive. I’m too busy. Who would I get to take care of one while I’m gone?”

“I don’t know, family, friends, your assistant, and sometimes you take them with you when you can”

“well see that’s the thing, Brodie is a one-person operation, isn’t that right Dodger? Yes, pretty boy… you’re so cute” she snuggled Dodger as he laid in her lap on the couch.

“are you saying you don’t even have an assistant?”

“nope. They force me to have one on tour to babysit me basically, but no not when I’m home.”

“are you insane? That’s got to be exhausting. Why?”

She told him the story about Theresa and Dave. 

“Yeah, I guess I get it and I am sorry that happened. What a fucking…” he struggled for a bad enough name for one of them.

“Oh, his title is Fuckface and she is Back-Stabbing-Whore” he did the laugh again and she couldn’t help laughing with him it was so cute. She went back to pampering Dodger and Chris took some pictures and sent them off to Sebastian.

C- Hey Seb, you might want to get her a dog if you’re looking for a good Christmas gift.  
S- Jesus fucking Christ, I don’t know who looks happier her or the dog.  
C- yeah, I’m not sure if my dog stole your girl or if your girl stole my dog…  
S- Damn it Evans! Now we’re both fucked  
C- (frowning face emoji)

The day before the show, Brodie was looking for something on the internet and came across some pictures of Sebastian. Being curious and missing his face, plus let’s face it he was nice to look at, she fell down a rabbit hole of internet images. She picked up her phone and texted him

B- Uh, Sebastian we need to talk about something  
S- What’s up Doll? Everything ok?  
B- Frankly, no. I need you to explain this please

She sent him a picture of him at a very young age

S- That is me in high school.   
B- and this one

She sent a picture of him a little older but clearly drunk

S- WTF? That is me very drunk

A picture of him shirtless 

S- that was a play I did  
S- Brodie what are you doing??  
B- I googled you  
S- Fucking why?  
B- Bored  
S- Stop it right now!  
B- can’t I have been mesmerized by all the photos…oh this one! I need to see the live show of this:

Picture of young Sebastian shirtless wet with a beer

S- Doll I’m begging you stop step away from the computer  
B- Man you had some pretty girlfriends, oh that one is adorable  
S- NO NO NO!  
B- AWwwwwww! Baby Sebastian  
S- fine! Two can play this  
B- Bring it!  
S- ok let’s see…

Picture of young Brodie with a mohawk

B- whatever, that was before you were born and I rocked it

Picture of Brodie clearly drunk

B- I have absolutely no memory of that year, even!

Picture of Brodie straddling the lap a very famous alternative musician with his face in her chest. Oh boy that one was cringy, they had had a brief thing. 

B- You can’t prove that is me

Picture of Brodie naked

B- WAIT! Where is that from??  
S- internet  
B- I want to be mad but I’m kind of impressed I used to look like that. Damn the girls used to be way higher  
S- the girls are perfect  
B- they were way better then  
S- They are way better now because they’re mine  
B- I have to say high school Sebastian is pretty hot. I would have gone to jail for that  
S- Are we done with this hell?  
B- Fine. But one more

Selfie of Sebastian and Brodie in her bed 

S- That one (heart)  
B- I better not find that on the internet  
S- Highest bidder doll  
B- split 50/50  
S- deal  
B- wait a minute I just realized you found that naked picture awful quickly…  
S- Deal is done doll no more negotiations  
B- Sebastian!  
S- Oh no my phone is dying gotta go bye  
B- (angry face emoji)


	36. I Wanna Say It First

The day of the show Brodie was finally focused it only took 5 weeks of complete upheaval in her life to pull her shit together. She had woken up to the alarm at an unnatural hour saying “Kiss my fucking ass” to the room. The first live show of a tour was always a crap shoot. Sometimes it set the tone for the whole thing, sometimes it failed miserably and they scrambled to fix it. That’s why they always did a few quiet ones before the big kick off. You just didn’t know until you got in front of a live audience if it was going to work. 

She was going over her notes having breakfast after the trainer tried to kill her again, why was she paying to be tortured? Oh yeah, because you are old and did some sketchy stuff most of your life, she answered herself. The gate rang with a delivery, she let them in and it was a huge vase of white tulips she knew it was from Sebastian immediately because, well he was the only one who had bought her flowers, and he knew white tulips were her favorite. She thanked the delivery driver and he said she was not allowed to tip him, senders orders. Damn it. She brought them into the writing room to put on top of the piano. She read the card. 

Doll,  
Go kick some ass!  
S.

She looked at the time and texted him.

B- Thank you for the tulips they are beautiful. So fucked up that I couldn’t tip the guy though!

She waited but he didn’t reply. Must be working she sighed. She went on with her routine getting ready for the night, she had to be at sound check at 3pm and they were sending a car because it was easier for all involved. Her phone signaled as she was waiting for it. It was Chris

C- Hey! Scott and I are excited for tonight, how you feeling?  
B- (gif of Sponge Bob chewing his finger nails)  
C- You’ll be great! See you soon  
B- See ya, I’ll be the one trying not to throw up in the middle of the stage.  
C- got it, I’ll keep my eye out for you.

She checked the text she sent Sebastian earlier, no answer. She started to text him again but erased it. He will answer when he can, she told herself and felt that familiar feeling in her stomach. Christ Brodie let it go he’s in another time zone, at work. She rode to the venue listening to Bohemian Rhapsody on a loop in her ear pods, then switched it to “Second Skin” by The Gits because she needed to gear up more. Sound check went good enough although her guitar tech only tuned one of her guitars. Brody asked her nicely to please make sure that didn’t become a thing on the road and the tech felt so bad, Brodie ended up tuning them herself instead of taking a nap like she planned. 

Still no word from Sebastian. Dude, if your gonna bail, please don’t do it on the night of the first show, she thought. She tried to put it out of her mind, if she could share a dressing room with Dave the same night, she caught him and Theresa she could handle a little silence from Sebastian. She got ready and checked in with make-up, she was not going to look forward to doing this every night, so much make-up was required and she hated the way it felt on her face but it was needed because of the lights or whatever. She did like the make-up artist and hair person though they were funny and always told her stories of famous people they had worked with before. They had been with them for about 7 years now so she heard a lot of gossip, but they hadn’t been on tour for over a year and a half so they had all new people to tell her about. 

She went to the area where they were setting up food. Brodie couldn’t eat anything before the first few shows but after she got in the groove of touring, she was usually starving. Her new assistant Terri, “with an ‘i’’ as she had introduced herself, asked if she needed anything. Uh yeah could you get my boyfriend to text me back? she thought but said “I could really use some Starbucks right now” Terri lit up “I could totally do that!” Brodie told her what she usually got and Terri ran off. If she pulls this off, Brodie thought, I promise to give her at least a chance. About 15 minutes later Brodie was drinking her Quad shots over ice and picking at a plain croissant, Terri got a pass for now.

Time for the opening band to hit the stage and kick things off, she went and wished them luck. They were a local band that had a lot of buzz and a single making noise on the radio on the west coast. They were so excited and she missed those days of everything being new and amazing. They were so appreciative of her coming to say hello and they wanted to take pictures and get autographs and she reminded them that they got to come back after they played and they needed to get out there. 

She went to go watch their first song from the side of the stage and felt her phone vibrate in her hand. Please be Sebastian she thought looking at it. It was Chris 

C- Hey Brodie we are here! So wicked amazing!  
B- Ok Captain Boston. Glad you’re here, you can come back if you want.  
C- YES  
B- you’re on the list so just talk to whoever is at the entrance I’m watching the new guys from the side let me know when you get back here.  
C- got it

She was enjoying the new guys very much. They were really good and she knew they would be headliners this time next year. They were so fucking happy out there. The crowd seemed into it too which is good for an opener that is a fairly new act. 

She smelled his cologne a split second before she felt his arms wrap around her from behind. “Hey Doll” he said in her ear. She thought maybe she was having a very vivid hallucination or a stroke but by the way he kissed her neck right below her ear lobe she knew it was real. She turned to see him smiling from ear to ear. 

“What are you doing here?” she said jumping in his arms. 

“I wasn’t gonna miss my girl’s first show and Chris said he had an extra ticket.” 

“you flew all this way to see…” she couldn’t finish because if she did, she was gonna cry. 

“of course.” He said like it was no big deal “I missed you doll” 

“I missed you too” she kissed him trying not to start crying “damn it” she said as one tear slid down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb. 

“I got it” he said. Instantly any doubt she had in the past 5 weeks was gone. 

“Sebastian…” he stopped her by putting his finger up to her lips

“I wanna say it first” he held her face in his hands “Brodie, I love you.”

“I love you Sebastian” he closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers “say it again” he asked “Sebastian Stan, I am in love with you and… I know that we haven’t even known each other that long but I can’t help it and you are so adorable and you bought me flowers and lil Bucky and Queen and you took me to the Disney studios and oh Disneyland and you like pizza and you have the most enormous … and you made sure I was on time and, the key and strengths and equals and we’re dorks, and, and…” he had started laughing at about ‘Bucky and Queen’ because she was completely rambling so fast that all the words were running together and he was so lost about what she meant with ‘the key’. “Are you laughing at me?” he shook his head no trying not to smile. She narrowed her eyes at him. 

“I love you doll, I’ve been miserable without you, I don’t care how long it’s been and I’m going to buy you all kinds of crap and take you to every Disney thing that exists, and we will eat pizza every day and I will make you coffee and I will fly here every fucking day to see you for 5 minutes because you are batshit crazy and I have no idea what you were talking about at the end there but you’re mine and I love you.” Now she was laughing, too. 

“where’s Evans?” she asked he looked at her like she was insane 

“why? He stayed out there” he pointed, a little irritated she wanted to know where he was

“Come on” she grabbed his hand and started pulling him

“where are we going?”

“I have my own private dressing room” she winked at him

“What the fuck were we waiting for?”

As the door shut, suddenly the mood changed and they both knew they had to have each other, right there, right then. “How long before the show?” he asked “I don’t know” she said between kissing him and getting her hands under his clothes “but they can’t start without me” He put his hand down her underwear and put his fingers inside her. She moaned and he silenced her by covering her mouth with his. “Shhh, baby doll.” He whispered in her ear and then kissed her neck stopping to bite every few inches. She pulled his pants down and stepped out of her own pulling his hand out of her. She hopped up on him wrapping her legs around his waist and he pushed her up against the wall or maybe it was a cabinet she had no idea. He helped to spread her open by pulling on her thighs and she adjusted until she felt the head of his dick in the target zone. She squeezed her legs tighter and he squeezed his arms tighter and they were one again, finally.

She hit the stage in the best mood. He loved her. He fucking flew all this way to be here for her. She felt (invincible, worthy, no… those aren’t the right words) not broken. She looked to her right and saw Dave, Sebastian finally got to meet him about 20 minutes earlier. Stephanie almost fainted when she brought him in the room with Chris and Scott Evans. Dave was overly friendly; Sebastian was serious but friendly and when they shook hands, he eyed David up and down then looked at Brodie and shrugged. It was subtle but it got the point across, he couldn’t understand what Brodie saw in David. Jeremy was behind her on drums she looked at him he nodded he was ready. He and Sebastian hit it off right away and Jeremy told her that he was glad she was finally with a nice partner for once. Finally, she looked to her left. Malcom stood bass at the ready, he smiled wide at her. Sebastian and him had gotten into a discussion about space and aliens. Malcolm kissed her on the cheek and said “It’s about fucking time you picked one that wasn’t a complete waste of time.” She looked to the stage manager and nodded he gave the signal and the lights roared on. 

She had been playing around with this idea, of playing one song by a female artist that had inspired her in some way over the years, during the encore. She had mentioned it a few times and they had even worked out a few songs during rehearsals but never made it official. The guys were sort of iffy about it and she let it go. She remembered talking to Sebastian about it one night over skype. “it sounds amazing to me; I think you should do it” he had said “yeah but the guys aren’t feeling it” she said unsure “well it’s not about the guys. You want to do it to celebrate the women who inspired you, not them.” She felt a sudden urge to make it happen, tonight, with Sebastian there, when they did the quick encore meeting backstage, she added Cherry Bomb. David rolled his eyes but the other two were actually game and majority rules. They did 3 songs for encore and it was the second. She made a quick speech about how the Runaways started it all for her and then said “this is for the one who requested it” and winked. Sebastian knew she meant him. He was so fucking proud of her. 

They went to the after party briefly, Brodie had to make some kind of appearance. They were more focused on being together alone for the little time they had. She thanked Chris and Scott about 100 times for helping pull off the surprise before they had headed out. She had actually jumped up on Chris wrapping her legs around his waist for a hug and she kissed him on the cheek when she first saw him. Sebastian just laughed at his flustered expression. “She does that a lot get used to it” he said “it’s because she’s so tiny she can’t reach anything” Scott countered. “Ok well we can practice that more after Seb leaves” Chris joked and Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. “Kidding, kidding” he said throwing his hands up. 

She was saying all the hellos and thank-yous that were required of her. She had left Sebastian with Jeremy to keep them both from the anxiety of a big room full of hangers-on. Terri the new assistant was following her around checking off the list JD had no doubt given to her. 

“Look, we are going to get along a lot better if you don’t do everything JD wants” Brodie told her. Terri breathed a sigh of relief 

“Oh, thank god” she said tossing the list on the floor. Brodie laughed in surprise then eyed her up and down.

“ok Terri with an ‘i’, can you sneak me and my boyfriend the fuck out of here?” 

“sure, which one is your boyfriend?” 

“that one” she said pointing to Sebastian 

“Oh! Good for you!” Terri elbowed her playfully winking “I’m on it” and she disappeared into the crowd. Ten minutes later Terri was back. Brodie was nodding and smiling at one of the suits, John, Jeff, whatever “I’m sorry to interrupt Brodie, but, JD asked for you to come say hello to the head of the record company” Brodie excused herself from whoever that guy was and Terri grabbed her elbow to guide her through the room.

She took her right out to the hallway and to the ramp in and out of the venue. She saw a black car waiting. Terri opened the door for her handing her her bag and as she ducked down, she saw Sebastian inside smiling at her. “Terri, I think you might just survive this tour, thank you” Terri smiled “have fun” she told them as she closed the door. 

“Am I crazy or does Brodie have a personal assistant?” Sebastian teased

“No fucking shit! I think I like her!” she said surprised at herself “so where are you staying?”

She was afraid to ask him because she was really hoping he was planning on staying with her. 

“At my girl’s place” he said. 

She did a tiny victory dance “yes! How long?”

“About a little more than 24 hours left”

“crap, well we better get started then” she climbed up on his lap 

“seat belt doll” he said pushing her off she rolled her eyes, pouting while she put her seat belt on 

“Stupid safety officer Stan” she said under her breath 

“I heard that baby doll” She stuck her tongue out at him

He grabbed her chin “don’t sass me.” 

She smiled sweetly “Of course not Tati” he let go of her chin and looked out the window she stuck her tongue out behind his head

“Brodie I can see you in the window’s reflection” 

“Damn it” she smiled her wicked smile at him “Does that mean I’m in trouble?”

Sebastian just smiled his own wicked smile back.


	37. You Might Be My Muse

The car dropped them off at Brodie’s house. Sebastian had dropped off a bag there with Chris and Scott. He didn’t have a key so he had it outside by the door. 

“I gotta get you a key” she said and then looked at him to see if he was freaked out by that. 

“Cool” was all he said smiling. 

She opened the door letting them in and as soon as she had closed it again Sebastian had dropped his bag and grabbed her wrist. “about you sassing me in the car…” 

“I can’t believe you just used the word ‘sassing’’ she teased him. 

He cocked one eyebrow “Excuse me? Who are you talking to?” she dropped her head shyly 

“Sorry Tati” she walked up to him and kissed his cheek “it won’t happen again” she started to walk towards her bedroom for a shower and he stood firm holding her wrist. 

“What?” she said 

“you seemed to have developed an attitude while I was away” he said “did you forget me already baby doll?”

“No Tati, of course not. I just need to take a shower after performing.” She said he was still holding firm on her wrist “Please Tati, can I take a shower first?” he considered it

“ok Doll” she started to walk “BUT” he stopped her by pulling her arm again “since you seem to have forgotten your place I’m going to help you find it again” the command in his voice gave her a shiver and she was suddenly aware of every nerve ending in her body. 

“Thank you, Tati” she said and let him lead her to the bathroom. 

“get undressed” he demanded, she did as she was told. He turned the water on in the shower and then looked her up and down. She had a bruise on her right hip the size of ping pong ball. “what is this from?” he touched it gently, she just shrugged “what?” he asked

“I don’t know Tati, I get banged up during shows” she said already aching for him from that small touch. She held out her hands to show him how guitar playing during a show rips the skin, leaves blisters, and generally fucks up your hands. “by the end of the tour I pretty much look like I’ve been in a car accident” she said softly willing him to touch her again. He placed his hands under hers and lifted them up to take a closer look. She closed her eyes and let out a small whimper.

“I’m not gonna hurt you” he said

“no, I know, it’s not that” she whispered “it’s your touch” he brought her hands to his mouth and kissed them gently where ever they were red and raw. 

“in the shower doll” she got in and placed her hands on either side of the wall with the shower head bowing her head so the water hit her at the back of the neck. She felt him behind her but didn’t move. “which shampoo?” he asked her she pointed to the one she wanted he gently turned her around so she was facing him and lifted her chin so the water would hit her at her hairline. He pulled her face back down and got some shampoo in his hands “turn back around” he said gently she did and he started to wash her hair 

“I should be doing this for you, you came all this way…”

“Shhhhhhh doll” she leaned back on him “I love you” he whispered in her ear

“you know, I’m never gonna get tired of hearing that from you.” 

“Good, I’m gonna say it a lot”

“Good, and I love you too” she sighed “I can’t believe you are really here. That you would come here for a show”

“I came here for you, and myself too. I missed you and I wanted to tell you that I love you in person for the first time, not over the fucking phone.”

“I am glad you did, it’s much better in person cuz I get to do this…” and she grabbed his dick and slowly started to stroke it. 

They had sex in the shower, on the bathroom counter (well Brodie was on the counter), the bed, the kitchen floor, and ended up on the couch watching “While You Were Sleeping” so Brodie could prove to him it was the best rom-com. They fell asleep on the couch, him on his back Brodie laying on top of him listening to his heartbeat. 

He must have shifted in his sleep; she woke up and they were both on their sides facing each other. She looked at his face in the soft light of the television, his beard was a little longer not much but it was sexy on him. She suddenly had the answer to the song she had started weeks ago when Sebastian was first there. She carefully got up so she didn’t wake him, he must be exhausted from that long trip she thought, and grabbed the first bit of clothing she found, his t-shirt. She quickly threw it over her head and went into the writing room. 

Twenty minutes later the song was done. It was exactly what she had wanted from it. She sighed satisfied with herself for getting it down. It was him, she realized, he was her fucking muse. Huh, she thought to herself, I didn’t think that I would ever have one of those. She stretched tall looking out the windows that lined the wall facing towards the coast. Sun would be coming up soon from the opposite side. She went to the wall of windows and closed her eyes taking a deep breath. 

She decided to take a little time to process the past 24 hours, so she sat cross legged in a lotus pose facing out the window closing her eyes. She put her hands together, thumbs to her chest, elbows out wide, started to count her breathing in and out. She had no idea how long she had been there when she felt him come into the room. He was quiet but she could feel his energy. He got closer and she thought he might say something or touch her, but suddenly she felt his back against her back. He was sitting behind her facing the opposite direction, eyes closed, legs crossed and his hands on his knees, palms up. They sat that way until the sun had come up and the sky in the west was a hazy blue.

“I finished that song I started when you were here before.” She told him 

“you did? When?” he sounded excited about it

“Just a little while ago. I think it might be because you’re here” he pointed to himself raising his eyebrows. “yeah, you might be my muse” he smiled his big goofy grin she loved so much.

“Can I hear it?” he asked carefully

“ok, but…” she stopped no excuses just play it she told herself “…ok” she sat at the piano and Sebastian leaned on the top with his elbow watching her “You’re making me nervous. Go over there” she pointed behind her. He did as she asked him. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and began. It was flowing and pretty, it talked about finding something you had given up on, something that you told yourself you could live without so you didn’t dare wish for it and then actually having it and being afraid to take it, but having to anyway because it was yours all along. When she finished, she put her forehead down on the keys and pushed them down a few times. It was a way she cleared the process from her brain, like saying ‘ok this is done, only minor changes now.’ She sat up and turned around to look at Sebastian.

He was sitting, intensely staring and biting his bottom lip. “what’s it called” he asked finally

“I don’t know yet” she said scrunching up her face “I was thinking, ok don’t laugh” he shook his head no “Endgame” he smiled she rolled her eyes “That’s so stupid” she whined looking up at the ceiling 

“Doll can you record that for me? Just like on my phone or something?”

“Sure, it’s about you so…” he jumped up from the chair and kneeled down in front of her grabbing her hands in his.

“Really? I was hoping it was, but I didn’t want to assume.” 

“Really. Maybe I should just call it Sebastian…. Oh wait, I got it!” she wrote it in the notebook and showed to him “Muse” she looked at him expectantly. He nodded. “well as long as nobody gets it confused with the band Muse anyway.”

“so, what are going to do with it?” he was curious how it worked

“Uh, well I’ll make a demo of it, try to clean up my scribbles, give it to someone who can write music for reals” she laughed “you know like notes and stuff, then play for the guys to see what they think and 9 times out 10 they don’t think much.” She shrugged “so it will go over there” she pointed to a shelf of notebooks of all sizes, all looking well worn with bookmarks, post-its and brightly colored tabs sticking out of the tops. He went over and looked at the long shelf there had to be more than 100 easy.

“These are all full of songs?” he asked surprised

“Yeah, well ‘songs’” she used air quotes “some of them are actual songs we’ve recorded. Most are just ideas, thoughts that could have been songs but weren’t good enough.”

“good enough for you or good enough for others?”

“Both actually” thinking about it “they’re not all winners that’s for sure. I like this one though I hope the guys like it.” She said worried

“If they don’t, you’ll just scrap it?” He was already attached to it because she wrote it about him, but he also genuinely thought it was a fucking amazing song.

“Pretty much” she shrugged “Majority rules, that’s the deal.” 

“what about doing it on your own?” she rolled her eyes. He really wanted her to do another solo album he had been watching old music videos of her and noticed something different about her solo work. “I want to show you something” he said walking out to the living room, she waited a beat and then followed him, curious. He was searching You Tube for something on the television. When she saw what it was, she groaned “God not a music video”.

It was for the song “Bound” from her solo album. This was an enormous hit for her. She had written it about a lot of things she felt obligated to, her past, her brother, her ex-husband, the band. It was about being trapped, not having any say in her life and knowing that those ties would cause her to be alone forever in her personal life but breaking the ties left her without anyone. One of the lines was ‘being bound to you leaves me all alone everywhere else.”

The video opens to a darkly lit room, the camera slowly pulls in closer and closer to reveal that the room is empty except for an elaborate gothic chaise lounge chair, ornate black wood and tuck and roll velvet cushion a deep blood red. Draped across it is Brodie in an very gothic style low cut floor length black dress her right hip against the side arm her right arm draped over the top her legs run the length of the seat her left ankle peeking out of the bottom of the flowy skirt showing her left shoe which is one of her favorite pairs of shoes that she owns, black velvet 4” heels with a 1” wide ankle strap and pointed toe. Her left arm is bent at the elbow tucked into her left hip crease holding a long black cigarette holder with a lit cigarette rolled in blood red paper. Above her is the only light source in the room a single vintage Edison bulb. 

“Yikes!” she said

“Shhhhh doll, just watch it”

She actually was very proud of this song. It has a slow build that she loves. It starts out quiet almost breathy and ends up hard and dirty. The camera pulls close to her face for the intro lyrics. Oh man, I loved that lipstick, she thought and made a mental note to find it in her drawer of MAC for the tour. Video Brodie is taking a drag on the cigarette in between verses and sings (actually lip syncs but whatever) the last quiet verse with the smoke curling around her mouth. That shot took forever to get right, she almost said to Sebastian, but he was sitting on the edge of the couch intensely watching the TV and she wondered exactly what it was he was trying to show her so she turned her attention back to the video trying to look at it as an outsider. 

The story started to unfold in quick cuts from Brodie in the empty room to brodie in an all-white bedroom wearing nothing but white panties and a man’s white button up shirt with only the two middle buttons fastened. Back to the empty room then back to the white room with a man entering wearing only black pants. Oh yeah, she remembered him. He was a male model big at the time he was so gorgeous and so gay. He’s a star of a sitcom now and is out and proud, good for him, she thought. He was very funny and kept making her laugh when they were supposed to be seriously into each other. 

Cutting back to the empty room, that Brodie had rolled on her back, right arm still over the top, left hand now gripping the back of the chair cigarette still between her fingers. Cut back to the white room, the man is now ripping the shirt open lowering it down her back to right below her shoulder blades, back to the empty room, back to the man now using the shirt to pull her in close kissing her neck. It went back and forth that way showing the man dropping the shirt, holding her arms out wide back to the camera, arms over her head wrists held together, fingers laced behind her head legs wide apart, close up of the man rubbing his thumb across her bottom lip, each image between shots of her in the empty room singing the lyrics. 

When the song got to the crescendo, the peak before it became all out hard rock, the Brodie in the empty room sits up and tries to get up but it is revealed that she is shackled to the chair around her right wrist and right ankle. 

It is at this point that she dropped her head in her hands and said “I get that “not that hard to figure out” thing now”. He chuckled never taking his eyes off the screen until it ended. 

“so, what is your point with this exactly?” she asked him

“I want you to watch this one now” he said cueing up another one

“Really? I hate this.”

“Just watch it” he demanded

This was for a new song from the band. A lot of the guys playing up close a few shots of Brodie singing, standard music video. 

“Ok?” she shrugged

“Think about the look on your face from the first one, it’s powerful, content, your eyes are expressive. Look at this one, you look bored as fuck.”

“That’s because I am bored as fuck there”

“EXACTLY!” he stood up and pointed to her she stared at him “Doll,” he said kneeing in front of her “I don’t care what you do, but at least do what makes your eyes light up like that first one.” She nodded. She got what he was saying, and she knew he was right.


	38. I Just Like The View

He asked her if she would play the song again for him and she did, he recorded it on his phone. “Damn it, Sebastian, I’m wearing only your shirt and my hair is all…” 

“Doll, this is for me only” he said “and I like you wearing only my shirt” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

“fine, but if I find it on the internet… wait that reminds me, that naked picture…” he shrugged “Sebastian?” he started to back out of the room “Sebastian Stan!” he turned and ran to the bedroom. 

She took him to see Joseph. He was adorable with him and Ellie was smitten with Sebastian. “He’s so nice. I just want to squeeze him” she said scrunching up her face. Duncan, who worked from home, took Sebastian into his office for about 20 minutes for ‘guy talk’. Brodie tried to stop him but Sebastian just winked at her and said “no worries doll” They emerged laughing and Ellie and Brodie rolled their eyes at each other. “Boys!” Ellie said shaking her head “Not you little guy, you’re perfect” Brodie whispered to Joseph sleeping in her arms.

Brodie was on a tight schedule so they headed out back to the house so she could get ready for the nights show. “I love that you let me drive all the time” he said 

“It’s funny, I think you are the only one I have let drive this car.” She thought about it “No wait, I think I did let Robert drive it once. You look so fucking hot driving it though. I just like the view” he laughed “hey, you know, I never asked you about what your life is like.”   
“what do you want to know, doll?” 

“I don’t know, I feel like you know a lot about mine right now, I guess I just want to know more about yours.” 

“Uhhh, I’m 36, a Leo, and I like pizza and long walks on the beach” 

“smart ass” 

“Oh, my girlfriend is… kind of a weirdo to be honest but she’s cute.” She playfully smacked him on the arm.

“Fine! Forget I asked” 

“I don’t know Doll; my life is super busy right now. I don’t get to see my family and friends as much as I’d like to, but I am really getting to do work I love, I’ve been thinking about getting more into the production side of things.” 

“Really? You would be awesome at that!” he smiled at her instant support

“I met this girl and I’m totally in love with her” 

“The weirdo?” 

“The cute weirdo” 

“wait there’s more than one?” he glared over at her “I love you too, Sebastian” she said seriously “do you think it’s strange that there is a lot we don’t know about each other but we, or at least, I have such strong feelings for you?” 

“No, rare maybe but not strange. And you were right the first time, it’s ‘we’” 

“I guess I’m still just trying to process that I’m actually fucking you” 

“Dating” he said sternly grabbing her hand “not fucking, dating. You’re more than just a fuck to me Brodie.” She had no idea why but that distinction made her tear up 

“dating” she repeated “I’m still trying to process that I’m dating you” she leaned over and kissed his cheek. 

He went with her to the sound check, she told him it was boring, but he said he didn’t come all the way there to see her to not spend every minute with her. He was actually really excited to see how it all worked behind the scenes. 

“Ok but you have to sit with the wives” she said feeling bad that that meant out in the seats somewhere. 

“no worries, I understand this is your job Brodie” Right there, she thought, it’s stuff like that that makes me love him. 

They played around on a couple half songs getting the problems worked out. “Hey, this monitor is not working Brodie pointed to one of the black boxes at the front of the stage” Sebastian watched her hoping that what he tried to tell her that morning would stick. “Hey I wanna do Patti Smith tonight for the encore” 

“Because the Night or People have the Power?” asked Malcom “we rehearsed both” 

“which one do you feel like doing?” she asked 

“Because the Night” 

“Jer?” she looked to Jeremy 

“yeah I like that one better” 

“David?” 

“whatever you guys want” here we go, thought Brodie, the other two are gonna cave to him, but to her surprise Malcolm said 

“Cool I’ve been working on it and I think I got it down good” 

They ran through it once it was actually pretty great and she looked out to see where Sebastian might be sitting “how’d that sound?” she asked the little group of family and friends he was sitting with, they all gave the thumbs up. It felt good. 

She thought about what Sebastian had showed her that morning. “guys, I want to add ‘Bound’ to the set.” 

“From your solo work?” Jeremy asked she took a deep breath “yeah” she tried to sound confident. “would you mind if I changed up the drums a little though? I love the song but I just always thought the fills could be better” he looked at her like she was going to yell at him 

“Dude! Yeah of course! Go for it!” he smiled wide 

“Yeah, I think I can bump up the bass line too” Malcolm said she smiled at him 

“Do it!” she high fived him

“Ok, what the fuck?” said David 

“what?” 

“This is not the fucking Brodie show” she almost backed down for a second, but she could feel Sebastian willing her not to. 

“Isn’t it though?” she said planting herself in the front center of the stage. She put her arms out wide “I’m the one out front every night, I write the songs, I’m the one that has to take care of you all one way or another, I want to play this song, they want to play this song” she motioned to Jeremy and Malcolm “Majority rules, we’re playing it, piss off if you don’t like it.” She looked at Jeremy and Malcolm both had their heads down trying not to laugh. 

Dave was angry, but knew he was outnumbered. “Fine, we’ll play the fucking song” he said bitterly. 

She turned towards the front of the stage and counted it down, out in the arena Sebastian sat smiling, so fucking proud of her. He wanted to jump up there and hug her but he was content watching her come alive up there. “That’s my girl” he said to himself.


	39. Guard The Door

All too soon Sebastian had to go back to work. She wasn’t going to fall apart this time. He loved her, he came back like he said he would and she loved him and she felt stronger suddenly, like she had found herself again. Sebastian pointed it out to her in a way where she finally saw herself and damn she missed her. Robert was right all along, not that she would ever tell him that willingly. He and Susan had come to the second show and when he saw Sebastian there he gave her the look

“Rules are darling, we don’t get to pretend he doesn’t feel the same way you do from now on. He clearly does, and I’m really impressed with this baller move here” he said meaning him surprising her. “I wish I knew this sooner, I would have set him up with more of my lonely spinster friends”

“Fuck you Downey, you know I’m your only friend. Too late now he’s all mine.” She said wrapping her arms around Sebastian’s neck

“Ew! Sorry Seb, you’re a nice guy and all but I’m gonna have to hand over the burden of Brodie to you.” Robert dropped his head to his chest “May god have mercy on your soul”

“She’s no burden and I took her right out from under you, you didn’t hand me anything.” Sebastian said pulling her down on his lap. Robert nodded in approval. Finally, he thought, someone worthy of her.

The show went well, like fucking clockwork. Brodie felt on top of the world. When she saw Sebastian back stage she jumped in his arms wrapping her legs around him. “Dude, dressing room, now!” she whispered in his ear. He carried her there, Terri was waiting inside Brodie looked at her still in Sebastian’s grip “Out! Guard the door! Please!” she said to her. Terri obliged without saying a word. 

“I’m really grossly sweaty” she said between kissing and trying to undress him

“don’t care” he said peeling off her shirt and bra and putting her left nipple in his mouth. 

“shit, I got blood on your t-shirt from my hand” she said as he moved to the right nipple. He stopped and grabbed her hands it was the right palm, he kissed it and then pulled her back in and bit the nape of her neck. “vampire” she joked. He answered by pulling her down to the floor and removing her pants spreading her knees wide 

“what do you want doll?” 

“just you” she said suddenly desperate to just be one with him. 

He smiled “that I can do” 

She was lying in her empty bed thinking back on the last couple of days as he was on his way back to work. She was leaving for the tour in 12 days. She had given Sebastian a key to the house in case he needed it, but she was pretty sure he was set on her moving to New York for most of the time. She would need to figure out if she was coming back here or going to NYC at the end of the 12 weeks. She knew Sebastian’s birthday was in week 9 and luckily, they would be on the east coast at that time so she could go be with him, hopefully. He said he would be home for it, his home. Did she pack up the house for 12 weeks or for longer? Ugh. So much to do for one person. Wait, Terri with an ‘i’ this was her thing, right?

Terri had kind of nailed the last two days with Brodie. She got her Starbucks that first day and then had it ready for her the next day, plus one for Sebastian. He said she asked him the night before what he liked there. That escape that night, too. She had that executed in 10 minutes. Last night, she had not only guarded the door, discreetly, but had smoothly directed anyone looking for her to the after party and nobody thought twice about it. She picked up her phone and called her. “Hey Terri, would it be ok if you came to my house and helped me with getting my shit together?” She was quick to say yes and showed up an hour later with Starbucks. 

“I gotta say Terri, I don’t really like personal assistants but you are winning me over” Brodie told her as she sat at the kitchen table making a list of everything that needed to be sent to New York if Brodie went there for good.

“I knew that, actually. JD told me I would be lucky to make through the first day, but he’s just such a slimy prick I knew if you hated him we would get along fine.” She realized what she said to basically her boss “Sorry I shouldn’t have said that”

“No, you totally should have!” Brodie said laughing “How did he ever hire you?”

“Oh, I know guys like him, in this business you come up against a lot of them. I was hoping to get to work with you because I love your music and you just seem… cool” Brodie laughed she spread her arms wide motioning to the room

“Clearly I have crushed your illusions with my absolute panic about packing up”

“No not at all. You are very cool. I have to admit I have a major crush on your boyfriend, since he was on “Gossip Girl”. My boyfriend Danny would have a heart attack if he knew I had been around him the past couple of days. Not that he would even notice me, he is totally focused on you.”

“You didn’t tell your boyfriend? He was on Gossip Girl?”

“No, I didn’t tell anyone I figured I hadn’t heard it anywhere so it must still be a secret?” Brodie nodded “and oh my god, how could you not have seen him on Gossip Girl?”

“I don’t know I’ve never seen it” she shrugged Terri pointed at the chair next to her for Brodie to sit and brought up Gossip Girl on her computer She was fascinated by young Sebastian and had Terri put it on the big screen for her. By the time Sebastian called to say he had made it back safely she was deep into the show and had gone back to the beginning to watch it in order.

“Hey Baby, I’m back safe”

“Oh good, thanks for letting me know. How was the trip?”

“Not bad, I got some sleep. What are you up to?”

“Oh, Terri is here helping me figure out what to do with the house while I’m gone, and if I’m going to be 12 weeks and then here or New York…” he cut her off  
“New York.” He said firmly

“Yeah, so I need to get that all worked out, but anyway she showed me the best tv show! There’s the hottest guy on here, really adorable, I think I’m in deep lust for him.” 

He sighed knowing that tone of voice already “What show?”

“Gossip Girl” she said far too happy with herself “That Penn Badgley, yowzer! You have his number?”

“Brodie, I swear to god…”

“You’re incredibly adorable in this show, I love young Sebastian.”

“And old Sebastian?” she laughed 

“I’m sure I will love him too, when you are old.” now he laughed “Look, you were a guy then, so cute and I definitely would have hit it, but now you’re like a man, a very hot and sexy man that I am totally in love with.”

“I love you too, doll.”

Two weeks later Brodie and the band were playing Bonnaroo and about to embark on a 12-week tour of the states. The crowd was fantastic and when they played ‘Bound’ they went wild. The changes that Jeremy and Malcom had made to the song gave it a whole new feel, Brodie had to admit it was better with them. The buzz from that performance had them on the radar and the tribute to women in rock that Brodie had made permanent in the encore had people interested in who would be the next to be covered. The social media for the band had suggestions from all over the world. 

They had played Bonnaroo on Saturday night, Thursday had been Chris Evans’ birthday. Sebastian had told her how he had called him to wish him well on his day when she talked to him on the phone earlier so it was on her mind, and she dedicated the last song to Chris to wish him a happy birthday. It was an innocent remark to send birthday wishes to a new friend she had come to really like, that would come back to bite her in the ass with a vengeance. 

Early the next morning, Terri knocked on her hotel room door. She got up still a little dazed and sleepy to let her in. “Am I late or something, I thought we weren’t leaving until 8am?” she said yawning 

“Brodie, you need to see this” Terri said seriously as she opened her laptop on the little table. Brodie squinted at the screen.

“Fucking hell!!” Brodie yelled “I gotta call Sebastian”


	40. I Called You first

She rang his phone, no answer. She had no idea what the time change was from, where the fuck was she right now? She texted him

B- Sebastian call me IMMEDIATELY IT’S AN EMERGENCY!!

She stared to pace the room “Shit, shit, shit!” she tried to think what to do next. “Where is this from?” she pointed to the photo of her and Chris Evans kissing full on, mouth to mouth.

Terri shrugged “I can’t tell it’s a close up of your faces, I can’t see where it was”

“No, I know where we were,” not ‘we’ there is no ‘we’ she told herself “or when that was, where on the internet is that?”

“Uhhhh, it’s already kind of everywhere” Terri said carefully 

“get JD on the phone, and publicity, and fucking…” her phone rang with Sebastian’s ring tone

“Hey!”

“Hey you ok? What’s wrong?” he sounded panicked but not like he knew anything yet

“Remember when Chris and I ran into each other at that coffee place and we sent you a picture of us kissing?”

“Yeah…”

“well it’s on the internet”

“Wait, the picture you guys sent me is on the internet?”

“Yes, but not the one we sent you it’s at that moment but it looks like we are really kissing”

“hold on let me find it” she started to tell him not to but she could hear him clicking on his phone “Fucking hell!”

“that was my reaction” she said quietly “Sebastian, you know nothing happened, right?”

“Yeah, Doll. I know.” He said frustrated but Brodie heard it as angry

“I love you. I would never go behind your back. I swear to god” she pleaded with him

“Brodie, I know. I believe you. I’m not mad at you or Chris. Where the fuck did this come from?”

“I don’t know. I just saw it and called you first thing. Terri woke me up to show me.”

“Do you think she…” he didn’t finish because he didn’t really think it was her

“I don’t know. It’s possible but my gut says no” she looked over at Terri in her pajamas furiously firing off e-mails and getting people on the phone. 

“I mean, I guess she could have gotten better ones of us” he chuckled

“True. What do you want to do about it?”

“what did Robert say?” he asked he knew it was a flagrant test but he had to know

“I don’t, I didn’t even think about his reaction, I just called you” she said surprised that she hadn’t even thought about him until Sebastian mentioned his name. “I just wanted to make sure you knew it’s not true”

“I know you’re mine doll. I trust you and Chris is my friend. I trust him too.” As much as he didn’t want to admit it, it made him happy that she had turned to him first, and a part of him was angry that the world would think she belonged to anyone else, but if it was going to be anyone, at least it was someone he trusted and knew without a doubt would never do that to him.

“so, what do I do?” she asked again

“well, I mean, we can go public or we can ignore it or I don’t know, but I think Chris should have a say in it too. Have you talked to him?”

“What about ‘I called you first’ do you not understand?” she was already frustrated and bringing up having to talk to Chris made her cranky. 

“Sorry. Look let me talk to Emily and see what she thinks and you talk to your team and see what they come up with, I mean maybe it will all blow over and it will be nothing. We know what happened and that’s all that matters, right?”

“Yeah, that is all that matters. I just, I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you upset or anything.”

“it’s okay Doll, you didn’t do anything wrong. I love you”

“I love you too”

Brodie told Terri to go get dressed and she would too, they would meet back in her room in 30 minutes. Brodie got into the shower and let the water hit her neck trying to relax. Ok she thought it’s not that bad. Sebastian knew she didn’t do anything wrong that was who was important. Damn it, Chris was important too. Poor guy, she knew with all her being that this was on her. It just went too neatly with the beginning of the tour, the buzz around it, and the dedication to him for his birthday. Fuck, she should call him. Let me get dressed first she thought.

She was putting on her chucks when the phone rang.

“Hey Chris”

“Hey Brodie”

“Saw the picture, huh?”

“I think you mean pictures” he emphasized the ‘s’

“What?” how long was she in the shower, she thought

“yeah, I gotta say we look pretty cozy, if hadn’t been there I would think it was real”

“oh fuck, Chris I don’t even know what to say except I’m sorry”

“Have you talked to Seb?”

“Yes, he knows it’s bullshit”

“Good. That’s what counts”

“What should we do about it?’

“Nothing” that surprised her

“Nothing? It doesn’t bother you?”

“Nah. Hey, it just makes me look better that I could be dating you”

“Ha ha, jokes on you, I’m dating the younger man it makes me look like Cher or J. Lo” he laughed

“Except you are actually dating a younger man so you are Cher” she laughed

“Dude I wish! She’s awesome! So just ignore it huh?”

“Yeah, it will go away. I’ll call Seb and let him know, don’t worry about it.”

“ok, thanks Captain Boy Toy”

“See it’s stuff like that that makes all the youngsters fall for you”

“Goodbye Chris”

“See ya Brodie”

She looked at her phone. Pictures, with an ‘s’, she googled B-r-o-d and a list of most searched popped up ‘Brodie Lee and Chris Evans’ ‘Is Brodie Lee dating Chris Evans’ ‘Brodie Lee married’ ‘Brodie Lee net worth’ What the fuck? What is my net worth? She willed herself to focus. She clicked on their names and went to images because she didn’t want to read any articles or opinions. There was the one she first saw of them ‘kissing’ along with one of them in line with his arm around her, them hugging hello, one with him holding her hand at the table, one of them laughing, and one of them walking into Chris’s house, fuck. Thank god he had told Sebastian what was happening at the time, Chris was right if she hadn’t had been there, these did make them look like a couple. 

Her phone rang ‘Ironman’, shit, she dropped her head.

“Well hello darling” he said before she even got out the first syllable of a greeting “Explain to me why the fuck you are fucking Evans now?”

“I’m not Robert, it was totally innocent. That picture of us… kissing…” it was uncomfortable for her to even say it “was one we took to send Sebastian as a joke. I swear, I went to his place to play with Dodger and watch a Disney movie. Sebastian knows all about it, he did then, as it was happening”

“Ok good, good.” He said calming down “you’ve talked to him?”

“yes, I called him as soon as I saw it”

“you know who this fucking is right?” he said getting angry again

“yeah. I know. That’s the whole reason I went to that coffee place where I ran into him, because I had seen her 3 times at my usually place and…”

“EXCUSE ME? WHAT?” he yelled she cringed at the tone

“it was not a big deal at the time…”

“ARE YOU INSANE?”

“STOP YELLING!” she could hear him trying to control himself on the other end.  
“I told Sebastian about it and figured it was fine because I didn’t see her again and she never sent me another e-mail” fuck he didn’t know about the e-mail she realized.

“Brodie. What. Fucking. E-mail?” he said it slowly trying not to yell “I swear if you say it is no big deal I am going to fly out to where ever the fuck you are and fucking strangle you”

“it said something about coming back to see her and not bringing my friend this time”

“when was this?” he said it so overly clam it scared her

“uh, a couple of days after the party at the club” silence on the other end

“I’ll call you later, stay out of trouble, please” and he hung up. She sighed she was so tired of being the fucking drama for everyone. Terri showed up with Starbucks, she looked genuinely concerned.

“Everything ok with you and your man?” she asked carefully

“Yeah, I think so, he knew about us having coffee and hanging out at Chris’ so it wasn’t a secret from him. It’s just now everyone who knows about me and Sebastian thinks I’m cheating on him with his friend. Can’t be good for him to have to defend my honor from people I haven’t even met yet. His mom, damn it!” she sighed Terri nodded and patted her on the back

“It will be ok, as long as he knows that’s all that matters, right?”

“That’s what everyone keeps saying anyway” 

JD and the publicity team felt it was better to just let it cycle out of the news. There has to be more interesting things happening then this, Brodie thought. It pissed her off though that someone was making money off of it. She was certain it was Dee and so was Robert. At least it was a lot less tame then the original information Dee had. Chris seemed to be unscathed but she had a feeling it was bothering Sebastian more than he let on. She knew he believed her but when she talked to him about just letting people think what they wanted, he sounded unhappy about it. 

Mackie had called him wanting to know if he wanted him to kill Chris or her first, Sebastian told her. He explained what had happened and Mackie accepted it, but she could tell it made him irritable that people thought his girlfriend was with his friend and not him. His publicist had told him that he should just let it be a cover for them, he was more valuable single. Brodie thought that was pretty harsh but didn’t say anything. 

At the show that night Brodie decided to not say anything about anything even closely related to it except for the encore. She chose Joan Jett for that night and did “Bad Reputation”. She changed the words slightly from I don’t give a damn, to I don’t give a fuck, and let it just speak for itself. But of all the reactions, the one from Duncan was the one that stung the most.

She had called him to check on Joseph and let him know to ignore whatever he heard as usual but he was angry at her. 

“I just don’t understand how you fuck these things up all the time.” He said

“Duncan, it’s not my fault.”

“It’s never your fault Brodie, everything is always not your fault. Jesus since we were kids everyone around you gets fucking wounded and it’s never your fault”

“Hey, what the fuck Duncan? What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing, forget it”

“no say it, you obviously have something on your mind, say it.”

“I don’t want all this shit around my family, I’m tired of having to fucking pick you up and I’m tired of pretending that you did anything to help me when I was a kid. I never want Joseph to have to know what he comes from.”

She hung up because there was nothing else to say. He called her back a few minutes later but she let it go to voicemail. She listened to it many hours later “Brodie, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it, I’m tired and stressed and I love you, call me back” she didn’t.


	41. I Can’t Give Anything Else

One good thing about the insane amount of attention turned towards Brodie was that the performance of “Bad Reputation” got noticed by a lot of people in the following few days, including Joan Jett. When the band arrived at the next stop, there was a hand delivered note from Joan to Brodie and she almost fainted when it was handed to her. She was almost afraid to open it, but she looked around at all the expectant faces and carefully unsealed the envelope

Brodie,

Thank you for your kind words. I am proud to have inspired you, you kick ass! I love your version of Bad Reputation, lets play it together some time! Call me…

Keep rocking,  
Joan Jett

Brodie read it through 3 times to make sure it really said what it said then she smelled it, just like she though Joan would smell, fucking amazing. She looked in the envelope and inside was a business card for Joan’s manager and on the back in Joan’s handwriting was her personal number. “I can die now” she said “I have hit my full potential right here” she took a picture of the note and sent it to Sebastian. 

“Don’t die yet!” Jeremy said “at least take her up on her offer to play with her first”

“Good plan, Jer” she shook her head vigorously “then…” she mocked dying on the chair.

S- Holy shit! Did you call her?  
B- No not yet   
S- Brodie! Do it right now!!  
B- I can’t, it’s too much I’m gonna say something stupid  
S- No you won’t, Doll. She’ll fall in love with you like I did. Wait don’t call her.  
B- Ha ha ha, like you wouldn’t participate in a 3way with me and her  
S- yeah like I said CALL HER NOW  
B- fine!

He made her laugh and that made her relax enough to dial the number. She almost had an out of body experience when she heard Joan’s raspy east coast accented voice say hello. She introduced herself and thanked Joan for the note. Joan said she was a big fan of hers and had followed her career with big interest. Brodie could not believe her ears. She told her how the Runaways had been everything for her as a young kid and that she wouldn’t even be a musician without them. Joan graciously told her she was sure she was born to be a musician but she would take the credit if Brodie insisted. 

Joan repeated her offer of playing together and Brodie immediately accepted. “name the place and time I’ll be there” she said. Joan said she would send her some dates and told her to call anytime now that they had each other’s numbers and Brodie told her to feel free to do the same. It was definitely one of the top moments of her life and she immediately called Sebastian to share it with him. He was as excited as she was and it was nice to have something happy to share in together. 

“I told you, how could she not love you?”

“Stop! It’s like the only thing I can think of that tops that is meeting you”

“Now you stop!”

“No really, it goes Grammy, Joan, and then you at the top”

“Shit you have a Grammy? I didn’t see it.”

“I have 4” she said embarrassed “and I keep them in New York hidden in a closet with a bunch of other things that might make my ego even bigger”

“oh, we are taking those out!” he said excited “I am going to make an acceptance speech for each one.” 

“Oscar practice?”

“Fuck yeah! hey, wait what about the birth of your nephew? That has to be in the top 3?” she hadn’t told anyone yet about her fight with Duncan.

“Uh, I need to tell you something” she explained to him what happened and how she hadn’t talked to Duncan since that day. She told him Ellie had texted her saying that he felt awful about saying what he did, but Brodie knew he meant it, he was just sorry he actually said it. She just didn’t answer because she didn’t want to say anything out of hurt. 

“I’m sorry Doll. That was unfair of him to say to you. You ok?”

“I have to be, I’m too busy right now to deal with it, but I don’t know, I gave up everything to protect him when we were kids and he thinks I did nothing to help him. I can’t give anything else.” 

“Brodie, maybe you need to learn how to take a little.” She sighed 

“I’m trying, I’m not good at it”

“I know, I’ll spoil you. What do you want, huh? A pony?”

“No, stop, I don’t want anything”

“Uh, how about jewelry? Shiny stuff?”

“no! I just want you”

“You already got that doll, I’m all yours”

Being on the road is two maybe three hours of the most exhilarating, energizing, creative high; followed by 21-22 hours of the most exhausting travel, mind-numbing boredom and forced self-promotion. After 21 days on the road and 19 different cities, Brodie was ready for a day off, but promotion had booked a last-minute guest spot on a popular web based live talk show. JD was ecstatic he thought the show was just what the band needed to bring in younger fans.

She wasn’t exactly happy to be on the show, Brodie hated the host. She was a snide, comic who thought she was so edgy because she pretended she was an alcoholic. She was notorious for saying racist and homophobic statements that were thinly vailed as jokes. She knew the rumor of her and Evans was sure to come up. She told herself to just keep quiet, under the radar, and let the guys handle it.

It went pretty smoothly at first. Dave can schmooze with the best of them, but Brodie could tell she was being eyed as the target. She didn’t know if it was being on the road, Duncan, the separation from Sebastian or the guilt of dragging poor Evans into the gossip pool, but when the host went too far Brodie had had enough.

“Dave, I hear it’s hard for you to keep it in your pants when you’re on the road. You and Brodie ever relive old times?” She said like it was funny

“Dude! Why would you say that? Dave is married to a smart, beautiful amazing woman and they have an intelligent, talented, lovely daughter. We have moved on why can’t you?” 

“Have you moved on? That’s my question and it seems like it hit a nerve. You can’t have it both ways although I’ve heard some things about you and both ways” the host said with her usual snide inuendo 

“Are you asking me a question or are you just making a hit and run statement?”

“No never mind, we can move on”

“No, I don’t think we’re going to move on.” She sat up on the edge of her seat

“Brodie” Dave cautioned quietly

“No.” she said to him, then looked to the host “look you want to ask me, then ask me. I have nothing to hide and I’m not ashamed of anything or anyONE I’ve done. But don’t just say some snide little fucking remark and treat it like a joke or something to be ashamed of or dismissed, because that’s such bullshit!”

“Well it’s rumored that you are bisexual.” She said it like she was being brave but Brodie could feel that she was uncomfortable having to ask a direct question which she still technically hadn’t and Brodie wasn’t letting her off easy.

“Ok” ask me bitch she challenged her with her eyes

“Well, are you?”

“Yes.” She said and waited “What do you want, details?” She said after the host just looked at her

“well, have you been romantically involved with both sexes?” This bitch was lucky Brodie didn’t hit her.

“That is what bisexual means genius, not that it’s any of your business but yes, men, women, men and women together. Is that what you want to know? Would you like a list of positions as well?”

“Uh, ok then. It’s also been said that you are dating Chris Evans, is that true?”

“Nope, that is not true.”

“Well I didn’t think you were his type, if you know what I mean.” If she thinks I’m gonna back down she is sorely mistaken Brodie thought.

“No, I don’t know what you mean. What are you implying?” 

“Well it is a popular theory that he and Sebastian Stan are an item.” Don’t take the bait.

“So?’ she said dismissive “What if they are? Does it really matter and is it any of your fucking business? Also, why are you asking me? They are adults, I mean, why don’t you ask them directly?” 

“Well they aren’t here.” She said spreading her arms wide

“Exactly, so why are we speculating about it without them here to say what they want said? This is the thing; you say shit like this and then there are members of the LGBTQ+ community that are listening/watching and then you act like it’s a joke and it’s not a joke to them, they are not a joke. It’s who they are and they don’t deserve to be made into a joke or made to feel ashamed or be dismissed because you’re a shitty fucking person.” 

Dave patted her on the back in a rare show of support.

“Do you guys have a different opinion?” she asked the others sensing there may be a crack in the band’s solidarity. 

“Nope” said Jeremy putting his arm around Brodie’s shoulders

“She pretty much summed it up” said Malcolm amused

“I do” said Dave “I don’t think you’re a shitty person, I think you’re a cunt.” 

There was a pause as the bandmates looked at each other, then all four of them fell into a fit of laughter. 

“Well we’re never going on that show again.” said Malcolm on the way back to the hotel.

“Look guys, I’m sorry she just…” Brodie began, their manager JD was already doing damage control and was pissed.

“No, don’t. Someone needed to tell her off” said Jeremy

“Honestly, fucking cunt” grumbled Dave

“Alright big guy, easy with the C word you know it makes Mal uncomfortable” Brodie said patting his hand. 

It was the closest the four of them had felt in years.


	42. I’m Turning Into A Girl

When she got back to her room, she thought about what she had said about Chris and Sebastian. She hoped they weren’t going to be mad or have to deal with the fallout of her uncontrollable fucking mouth. Damn it she basically told the press to go ask them directly. She was contemplating whether she should call them and warn them or just hide under a rock when her phone went off with Sebastian’s ringtone. She sighed.

“hello” she said cringing

“Hey baby doll, what’s new?” by his tone, he knew already

“Look Sebastian, I’m really sorry, I just couldn’t stop it from coming out of my mouth.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I feel bad I shouldn’t have said anything that would represent you or Chris”

He was laughing “are you kidding me? We’ve watched it like 10 times already over the phone together and it gets better every time.”

She sighed and chuckled slightly “well at least somebody liked it”

“Baby doll, go look online” 

“Do I have to?” she was not looking forward to reading the reactions

“Yes” he said sternly

She opened her MacBook and the browser. The internet was buzzing with articles saying she had annihilated the host. Yikes, she thought. More with the headline of “Brodie Lee comes out as Bi” or something similar. Damn it! She wasn’t ashamed of it; she just didn’t plan on announcing it to the entire planet. Even more with headlines of “Brodie Lee says host is sh**ty person, Dave Michaels says no she’s a C***” Ok that one made her smile and she knew Dave was gonna love it, too. It still made her laugh every time she thought about the look on that bitch’s face.

“Fuck, I’m glad it seems mostly positive” she said “but, the bi thing is now public knowledge.”

“So what? It only matters how you and I feel right?”

“yeah, but it’s gonna be harder on you having to be linked with me someday, oh god, your friends, wait, what about your mom?”

“Doll, my mom is going to love you. Listen to me Brodie, I’m so fucking proud to be yours and that you’re mine I don’t give a fuck who knows it.” 

“thanks” she said as her throat tightened with emotion

“Tati is gonna give you such a good reward for this one.” He said trying to make her feel better

She laughed in the phone but alone in her room the tears were falling. She missed him so much it hurt. He had to go back to work and they said goodbye.

About a half hour later Chris called “hey” she answered not knowing what to expect

“Hey it’s my girlfriend.”

“Hey Captain boy toy” he laughed

“Chris, look…”

He cut her off “my brother wants to talk to you, hold on”

“Hey Brodie!” she smiled at Scott’s voice; she liked him so much. 

“Hey Scott”

“Saw your interview” 

“yeah, so did the rest of the world it seems”

“I can’t decide if my favorite part was when you said you weren’t ashamed of anyONE you’ve DONE, or when Dave called her a cunt” she laughed 

“Oh man, did I say that?”

“Oh yeah!” he paused “You did good”

She sighed “if you say so”

“think about if you would have seen something like this when you were younger. Representation matters.” She thought about the first time she saw Joan Jett and how it made her feel normal.

“thanks Scott”

“Thank you for putting that cunt in her place! Here’s Chris”

“Brodie is it too late to tell everyone that we are really dating because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you?” 

“Hey it’s ok with me, it just makes me look better. You might want to ask Sebastian, although, right now he might be looking for the easy out.” She joked

“Oh, sweetheart, he’d kick my teeth in for joking about dating you.”

“yeah, I guess he would. I love him cap, and I don’t want to embarrass him or make it difficult for him with his mom and his friends.”

“Brodie. Come on, you know Seb better than that. You love him, huh? I would just like to say ‘told you so’ but I’m not like that, wait yes I am, I told you so!”

“Shut it Captain dipshit” 

“Ouch! Why would you talk to your boyfriend like that?”

“Goodbye Chris!”

“Goodbye Brodie!”

The fallout did hit Chris and Sebastian but not more than they were already dealing with since The First Avenger was released. People saw the affection they had for one another and if it was seen as romantic love neither one was bothered by it. In reality, Brodie had no idea if that was the relationship they had had or not and she really could not care less either way. 

Jeni, Dave’s wife, sent her a box of rainbow cookies and a long thank you note for defending her and Stephanie. She got offered several interview invitations to clarify her remarks but she just had promotion send out a short release saying she stood by what she said and had zero remorse. Most flattering, she received many offers for companionship, some a little too specific that made even her blush, and lots of internet comments of support and love. Sebastian was the only one she wanted though and the separation was getting depressing.

Brodie trudged along on the road, she tried to keep herself busy but ended up watching movies Sebastian was in to feel closer to him. The guys were pretty supportive and they actually felt like a unit again, something that hadn’t been present since they hit the mainstream. At least one of them would end up watching a film with Sebastian in it with her. Malcolm was always down for the Martian. Jeremy and David both got hooked on Gossip Girl and Terri was designated to make sure all three were present to watch an episode. However, one always got them to roll their eyes “I swear to God if we have to watch Winter Soldier, One. More. Time.” Dave complained every couple of days “I am going to lose my shit! He’s not even in it most of the time!” Finally, her friend Jennine Porter and her band were joining them for the rest of the tour. 

“God damn it I’m glad to see you” Brodie said to her when they embraced. 

“I missed you too.” Jennine said “So, are you fucking Captain America?” right to the point as always.

“Nope” she said lightly “I’m fuck...” she thought how Sebastian would correct her “dating Bucky Barnes or the guy who plays him anyway.”

“Yeah?” Jennine looked impressed

“Yep.” She shrugged

“Hot damn! He is fucking gorgeous!!” 

“Yeah, he really is and…” she held her hands up indicating length, she finally had someone to share that with.

“Fuck! Really?”

“Yeah! Really!”

“Lucky bitch, well let’s get drunk and you can tell me all about it! Oh, I see you are walking different.” Brodie laughed and exaggerated walking funny. She really needed this, she thought, girl talk.

They went to a local bar that they heard was quiet. Brodie got a bottle of vodka and Jennine, Tequila. They settled into a booth way in the back to get shitfaced and talk. Brodie told her how she met Sebastian and everything that had happened since then.

“you really love him.” Jennine said it as a fact

“that obvious, huh?” she put her forehead down on the table.

“Look Brodie, I think it’s really great, I do, but why do you look so sad about it?”

“I don’t know Nina, what if he changes his mind or wants kids, or someday he’s like I’m tired of being with this fucking old woman who is fucked up and carries an AARP card in her wallet?”

“Tell me you do not have an AARP card in your wallet”

Brodie took another shot

“Brodie? Do You?”

“No! but those bastards sent me one on my last birthday. It was brutal.”

“Look B., we’ve been friends for a long time, mostly because we are old as balls, and we have done a lot together. I’ve never asked you about anything because I figured you would tell me if you wanted. But have you talked to anyone about it?”

“No. Robert knows some, but not all.”

“Have you thought about therapy?”

“Bitch, I am in permanent therapy, my appointment time is set in stone, but I can’t do it, I tried to tell my therapist but I can’t get the words out. I want to talk to Sebastian he’s the only one I want to tell but… Nina, the things that happened, that I did… they’re unforgivable he will never be able to…”

“Fuck Brodie how old were you when this shit started? Eight? Nine?”

“Six” she said quietly, and shame crossed her face.

“So, you’re fucking telling me, that a six-year-old, is responsible for the rest of their life for something they had no control over?”

“I stayed until I was 16.”

“SO. Fucking. what?”

“I should have…”

“No! that’s fucking bullshit, you did what you had to, to survive. That’s all that counts, you lived! I know damn well you stayed to fucking protect Duncan, didn’t you?” Brodie nodded yes “You would never treat some kid who came up and told you that that happened to them the way you treat yourself. Fuck that, and you know what? Fuck Duncan for making you the one who carries this shit because he knows you will and that means he doesn’t have to and fuck Bucky Barnes and Captain America too if he walks away because of it, he can fuck right off!” Brodie knew she was serious but the last part was so ridiculous she started chuckling

“His name is Sebastian not Bucky and what the hell did Captain America do?”

“Oh, I don’t fucking know but they all stick together” she waved her hand as she poured another shot, Brodie could not stop laughing. 

Finally, they sat in silence for a few minutes

“Brodie, tell me one thing. One thing that you think is the least bad thing that will make him bolt and I’ll tell you if it changes the way I feel about you.” Jennine was right she had never asked any questions before but Brodie knew she understood and she knew she had to start trusting the right people who had proved themselves over the years.

“uh, ok, when I was in grade school, the principal was one of my stepdad’s ‘customers’” she used air quotes. 

“Yeah?” Jennine knew what that meant, she waited silently letting Brodie work out how to say it.

“Well he didn’t want to make up an excuse why he was home late all the time, or he didn’t want to wait or whatever, so at lunch every couple of days…’ she shrugged “he gladly paid the extra charge for convenience” Brodie didn’t bother pouring a glass she drank from the bottle. Jennine nodded instantly understanding because she had some fucked up stuff too

“I love you B. and all that story does is make me want to find that piece of shit and cut his fucking dick off!”

“I love you too Nina. I looked him up a few years ago, he’s dead.” They clinked bottles in celebration of one less child molester. 

Later that night, really it was early the next morning, as Jennine went over the conversation in her head laying in her hotel room she cried for her friend and the fact that that was the story she thought was the least fucked up. 

Days later, Brodie was missing Sebastian as usual but she perked up when she found a new movie of his to watch. “We Have Always Lived in the Castle” was one of her favorite books, she loved Shirley Jackson. She enjoyed it and Sebastian was really pretty in it, all swagger and maniacal. The scene of him dancing with ‘Constance’ got to her though, she couldn’t explain why. He was so adorable, dark suit, speaking Italian, and dancing to the Shep and The Limelites song “Daddy’s Home” she could always see him as the character he played but something made her see just her Sebastian and she ached for him. She wanted to feel his hand on her back, hear the sound of his heartbeat when he held her close, see his goofy smile when she made him laugh. She turned off the movie and went to Nina’s room so she wasn’t alone.

“Hey, you busy?” she asked when Nina answered the door

“No, just watching some stupid show. You ok?” she could see Brodie looked sad

“I miss him and I’m super lonely without him. I watched this movie he’s in and he was dancing with some girl to that song ‘Daddy’s Home’ and I just feel so alone right now” Nina hugged her and Brodie hugged her back. 

“You do know he was acting, right? I mean I’m fairly certain that he’s not a vampire, or a gymnast, or a 200-year-old man with a robot arm, but then again I haven’t met him yet.”

“102-year-old man, and yes I know he’s acting! I don’t know why it’s bothering me. I told Robert that I think I might be an actual human being, but now I’m turning into a girl too.” She said it with a sneer.

“Hate to tell you this, love, but you are a girl. It is one of the many things I enjoy about you.” She winked at her

“yeah, not that, like a ‘girl’ you know like those girls in school who used to act all stupid so the boys would like them and then be all ‘ahhh a penis’” Nina laughed

“I want to see you be scared of a penis, then I will be worried.”

“you know what I mean! I never worried about shit like this, you know, on to the next one or whatever.”

“you wanna go pick up on some guys?” Nina offered

“no, I really don’t. I just want one guy” it scared the shit out of her.

“aw, come here love” suddenly Nina was kissing her. Brodie started to melt into it but got a clear memory of Sebastian saying ’you’re mine doll’ and she pulled away. “I’m sorry, I can’t” she said stepping back

“It’s ok, I just thought you said he was ok with it?” 

“I did, he is, I guess I’m not” Brodie said surprised at herself, she never refused sex with Nina. She always felt Nina was her steady girlfriend, they just had an open relationship. “I promised him I wouldn’t go behind his back with anyone and at the time I meant anyone male, but…”

“Brodie, it’s ok. He obviously means a lot to you. I won’t push you. We can wait until he and I get a chance to meet and work it out, ok?” Brodie nodded “we can cuddle though, yes?” Brodie smiled

“Yes, cuddling is ok”


	43. Just The One Avenger

She didn’t know what Sebastian had also been dealing with. His friends who were fiercely loyal to him, and had been with him through past relationships, were worried about him and this seemingly fast-moving coupling. It didn’t help that none of them had met her in person, all they knew was the public persona. They were already a little iffy about it when the Evans thing hit the news. The more he tried to defend her they more they thought he might be delusional about her. When the interview exploded it pretty much cinched it for them. If Brodie would have known, she would have agreed with them. She didn’t look that great right now to anyone who cared about him. 

Her phone rang waking her up at 4am it was Sebastian “Hey Tati” she answered trying to wake up. 

“Hey doll. Did I wake you up?”

“No worries, how are you?” he didn’t answer “Sebastian?”

“yeah” she could barely hear him. She sat straight up fully awake. Something was wrong

“Sebastian, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” she heard him sigh

“I’m just…no”

“It’s ok, I’m here”

“That’s the problem you’re there and I need you here.” her heart instantly hurt that he needed her and she wasn’t there. “…I’m tired and lonely and everyone here is great. The work is great but …” he sighed frustrated

“I understand, I really do. The work is great but it’s lonely. When you’re working it’s fine but then you’re alone all night.”

“Yes” he said relieved that she knew how he felt. “we are going to the Women’s World Cup Finals on Sunday. Jessica got us tickets and I’m excited to go but I wish…” 

“I wish too” she said feeling really crappy that he felt so bad “Sebastian, I love you. I will do anything for you. What do you need me to do?” 

“I need you to meet my friends” She felt bad that she hadn’t been available for meeting his friends that were so important to him.

“ok I will meet your friends whenever you want me to I promise.”

“I need you to meet my mom”

“Ok but maybe not at the same time as your friends?” she tried to make him laugh but he wasn’t in the mood

“Ok, I need you here” she was afraid he was going to say that, she didn’t know how to answer “but I understand why you can’t be and it’s ok, I just… sometimes it really hits me, you know?”

“Yeah I do. I feel that way too.” She didn’t want him to feel so bad.

“Fuck. I gotta go they need me. I love you.”

“Ok, I love you too” they hung up. She was mad at herself for not doing more for him. She had gotten wrapped up in the tour and the drama of the tour and should have been paying more attention to the one person who meant the most to her. Selfish, she told herself.

Brodie wanted to return the feeling that Sebastian had given her when he surprised her at the first show 6 weeks ago. It was only 6 weeks, but it felt like a year. She looked at the schedule and thought the upcoming Chicago show could work if she blew off the promotional stuff. The guys could handle it without her. She probably should just not ever talk to the press anyway. She could make it to the game and have 1-2 days with him after. She remembered him saying he would fly out every day to be with her for 5 minutes, that was right after he had told her he loved her for the first time. She looked at flights. 

She woke up Terri and had her find out how to get ahold of Jessica Chastain. Sebastian had mentioned she had made the arrangements on the tickets. Ten minutes later she was on the phone with her. Terri was becoming invaluable. 

“Hi Jessica I know we don’t know each other but…”

“Brodie!” she said “I feel like I know you, Seb just goes on and on about you.” 

“Wow, you must be sick of hearing my name and hate my guts by now” 

“No, you’re off the hook, but Seb is on my list” Brodie laughed she liked her already.

Brodie told her about wanting to surprise Sebastian and asked her if she could help her in any way. Jessica was excited to help and told her that she had an extra ticket for the game she had gotten just in case. They made some quick plans and exchanged e-mails. Brodie told her she would send her all the details when she worked them out and Jessica promised to do the same.

“Oh sweetie, he’s going to be so happy to see you; you have no idea!” Jessica assured her

“I hope so, he just seemed so down when I talked to him and I miss him, too”

“I look forward to meeting you in person”

“You too, and Jessica, thank you for everything. For taking care of him and giving us time in the beginning, just everything”

“Seb is the nicest person I know, he deserves all the happiness in the world. So, helping him get it is my pleasure”

“I feel the same way. I do really care about him despite how it might look in the press.”

“I know how it is, I don’t judge anyone by that stuff.”

“thanks”

She turned to go find Terri but she was at the computer right behind her typing. “I drafted an e-mail to send out” Brodie read it over and said “Just add ‘nonnegotiable’ in bold right there and then send it” Terri nodded and fixed it “There you go it’s off. What arrangements can I help with?” “Thank you, Terri. I mean it. Thank you, a lot.” “it’s my job but also you two are so cute together and I’m a sucker for romantic gestures”

She got a knock at her door. “NONNEGOTIABLE” she yelled 

“It’s Nina” she went and opened the door 

“Sorry. Why are you up?”

“I was talking to a friend. I was thinking you might want some company for the trip” 

“well, I mean I love you, but I want to spend as much time with Sebastian as I can and…” Nina put up her hand 

“No, I don’t want to go see your boyfriend, although I hope I can meet him at least, do you remember Thomas?” 

“Uh, no I don’t…. wait the guy from Amsterdam?” Brodie had a faint memory of Nina and a guy all over each other and him ending up following the tour around the Netherlands. 

“Yes, well he lives in Paris now and he and I have been talking, so…” Brodie had never seen her blush before and she had been with her in some pretty blushing friendly situations.

“so, you want to go on a 4,000-mile booty call with me?” Brodie laughed

“Yes!” Nina said 

“Well then, go pack” They high fived and then bumped tits. 

Terri laughed “I’m on it!” she said hitting the computer again

Actually, they were leaving in 3 days, July 6th. Brodie was excited and nervous and all around in a touchy mood. She had an argument with JD the day she sent out the notice. He accused her of being reckless and unreliable. He told her the guys would never forgive her. She didn’t give a rat’s ass because all she could focus on was seeing Sebastian again after 6 weeks of separation. She told him exactly that and also a few choice words about how she had held the band together for years, it was her turn to be the fuckup. She left the conversation with a warning that if he even thought about messing with her, she wouldn’t come back at all. 

She talked with Sebastian every day and it was hard to not say anything to him. He was so distant. She was excited to see him but a part of her was worried he was angry about her having a demanding job too. This had been an issue countless times before. She hoped he would be as excited as she had been when he showed up unannounced. She was pacing backstage waiting for the signal to start the show, Nina threw a cherry tomato at her and said “Christ Brodie, chill out” she flipped her off and walked out into the hallway that led to the stage.

Brodie moved closer to the stage entrance trying to get a glimpse of the crowd and its’ energy. Jeremy walked up and stood next to her. “Brodie?” 

“yeah?” she braced for the argument

“I hope that you have a great trip and I am really glad you stood up to JD”

“Thanks, Jer.” she said surprised that he was on her side

“if that guy doesn’t hit his knees and thank the universe that you are there, you call me I’ll go kick the living shit out of him” she smiled at him and then hugged him 

“Thank you, Jeremy. I don’t mean to make things difficult for you or the others, I just really care about him.”

“We all know that, Brodie. Dave and Malcolm feel the same way I do.” She looked over and Malcolm and David were both there nodding. “You know we’re here if you ever need to talk. You helped us back in the day. We will never forget that” she kissed Jeremy’s cheek, sometimes she forgot how down right adorable he was. Then she went and hugged the other two together in a group hug.

“Alright, let’s fucking get it over with.” She said grabbing the guitar from the tech and hitting the stage.

Sebastian spent the 4th at a Valentino show and posted a picture on his Instagram mentioning how Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t remember him after 3 movies together. Brodie thought it was hilarious and not thinking checked off the little heart. She had met her once when she did a gig with Coldplay and Gwyneth was married to the singer Chris Martin, Brodie thought she was nice and all but didn’t really think much else about her. The press picked up on the snarky comment and also that Brodie had liked it. 

Once again, the speculation that she was dating Evans surfaced along with a new photo of Chris at that first show. “Christ! Sebastian is right there” she pointed to the edge of the picture.

“Well the good thing is they won’t even think about you being in France with Sebastian and if they do, then they’ll just say you’re visiting your boyfriend’s friend.” Reasoned Jeremy when again shit met fan with JD. 

“That’s true” Brodie sighed. JD was angry that he had to spin yet another story to the press. “Why does anyone even care who I’m fucki…” she corrected “dating?” 

“They don’t, they care about Captain America. You had to start dating one of them, now? During the crescendo of the buzz for the Marvel movies?” 

“Well sorry JD I will try to plan my personal life better around pop culture moments” 

“Jesus Brodie you’re like a walking disaster”

“Hey man back off her, she didn’t do anything wrong” Dave said “Honestly who cares if she’s fucking the entire cast of the Avengers? Brodie just fucking ignore it.” She almost fell out of her chair, David never defended her like that. She smiled at him and mouthed ‘thanks’, he just shrugged.

“Uh, just for the record, it’s just the one Avenger” she said holding up one finger “one.”

She called Chris and again apologized that he kept being dragged into it. Chris again assured her that being linked to her was really not a bad thing. She really liked him as a friend, they both were Disney freaks, they hoped to go to Disneyland together someday, he knew all the words to all the songs and they already jokingly talked about forming a Disney tribute band. She really hoped this wouldn’t kill their new friendship, plus she was in love with his dog. “this isn’t going to block my visits with Dodger, is it?” He laughed “No, of course not”

Sebastian was upset though. She thought he was long over the Evans thing, but it frustrated him that the internet was spreading rumors about them again and especially angry that everyone was sure they were true. 

“Don’t worry about it, Tati, it’s my fucking fault I wasn’t thinking” 

“well it shouldn’t be a big fucking deal that my girlfriend likes my fucking picture” 

“Well they don’t know I’m your girlfriend, they think Chris is my boytoy.” He growled into the phone “stop it, you’re making me excited” he laughed despite the anger

“god I miss you” he sounded even sadder than before.

“I miss you too” she said and looked down at the suitcase she had just finished packing. The car was on the way to take her and Nina to the airport. 

“Tati, I have to go get ready for the show, I will call you later if you’re not busy” 

“ok doll, go kick some ass!” 

“you know it”


	44. 4,000-Mile Booty Call

First class, when she had Terri book the flight for her and Nina, she decided to splurge on it. She never did shit like that for herself but she had the excuse she was doing it for Jennine, so that made it ok. She offered to take Terri too but she was looking forward to spending time with her boyfriend while Brodie was busy. She told her she would be on full pay because she considered her on call but Brodie would not call. 

“Holy fucking shit!” Nina whispered “What in the actual fuck? I have my own cubbie!” 

Brodie laughed “Yes you do so why are you sitting on my lap?”

“you know I get nervous before take-off. I need a cuddle”

“you have to go back to your seat and then after we take off you can come cuddle the whole way there” Brodie pushed her off her lap

“Fine! But if I get comfortable and you miss out on sleeping all the way to France with me it’s your own fault!” she hissed

“I’m willing to take that chance so that we can take off!” Brodie countered.

10-hour flight, about 1 hour to fly from Paris to Lyon, game started at 5pm, but she was supposed to meet Jessica at 4pm, her watch was on Chicago time still, Paris is 7 hours ahead, so… fucking math! So, 9am Chicago time is 4pm Paris time so about 12 hours before she saw him. She kept herself busy figuring out the countdown because she also hated take-off and had already sang Bohemian Rhapsody twice all the way through. Sebastian would be laughing at her face right now, she thought. 

Every time she thought about actually seeing him, touching him, smelling him, she was simultaneously excited and panicked. Brodie fell asleep watching Disney movies. She couldn’t watch anything Sebastian was in because the nerves were getting worse. She was woken up by Nina wiggling in next to her to snuggle. “you ok?” she asked 

“you promised snuggles” they settled in and slept most of the way spooning.

They landed and made their way through customs. Brodie had a connecting flight to Lyon where the World Cup was being held. Jennine was going to take a taxi to a hotel but as they walked towards the front of the airport there stood Thomas with a giant sign that said her name. Brodie hadn’t remembered exactly what he looked like, but he was actually pretty cute standing there, big grin on his face when he saw Nina. Brodie hugged her and told her to call if she needed anything, Nina told her to relax, and they parted in opposite directions.

The plane ride was short but to Brodie it seemed like forever. The closer she got to seeing Sebastian the more time slowed. She was greeted at the airport by a driver arranged by Terri. She texted Jessica “Here” and Jessica sent back a smiley face. The plan was that Brodie was to text her again when she got to the RV that they had driven out from Paris. Jessica had been messing with Sebastian telling him that she had a friend he was really going to like and how it was no big deal they could just be casual dates for the game. Jessica told Brodie he kept telling her to not bother he had a girlfriend. When Sebastian had told her about it over the phone, Brodie acted like she was a little irritated. 

She texted Jessica “at the door” and looked down at herself quickly to make sure she looked ok. She heard Jessica get to the door and when she opened it, she gave Brodie the Shhh signal.   
“oh my god! I’m so glad you made it!” She said loudly enough for everyone in the city to hear. She motioned Brodie to climb the stairs and come in. Jessica grabbed Brodie by the shoulders and positioned her so that she was behind Jessica to walk down the narrow aisle. “I can’t wait for you to meet Seb, he’s going to just love you!” she said loudly Brodie could smell his cologne. 

Sitting at the little table with Jessica’s husband Gian Luca, Sebastian was whispering to him “she knows I have a girlfriend, why is she trying to set me up?” Gian Luca shrugged and said “Why does she do anything she does, I don’t understand” Sebastian started to text Brodie about what was happening when Jessica stopped right before the table and said “Seb! This is my friend”  
As she stepped to the side Sebastian looked up from his phone frowning slightly. Brodie held up her hand and waved her fingers at him. 

He sat frozen in disbelief for a second mouth hanging open, eyebrows raised. Then he jumped up dropping his phone and grabbed Brodie’s face in his hands, he put his face close to hers and said “what…when…” she smiled at him and said “I wasn’t going to not come when my boy said he needed me here, and Jessica had an extra ticket.” He turned and hugged Jessica “thank you” he whispered to her. Brodie introduced herself to Gian Luca and suddenly she was wrapped up in Sebastian arms. She put her arms around his neck and got up on her tip toes to reach him better. Sebastian buried his face in her neck she buried hers in his. He loosened his grip only slightly so he could get a better one and he lifted her up. “I missed you doll” he said into her shoulder. “I missed you too” She caught a glimpse of Jessica smiling wide holding her husband’s hand. “alright let’s give the lovebirds a few minutes alone” she said to Gian “Seb, we have to leave for our seats in 20 minutes” he didn’t answer her he was too busy squeezing Brodie as if his life depended on it. When he heard the door click closed, he put her down and grabbed her face again, kissing her hard. 

He pulled back and looked in her eyes “baby, I missed you so much” he said desperately “I love you” it made her heart stop for a second 

“I love you, Sebastian” he smiled his wide smile, she had missed it so much. He kissed her so softly she thought she was going to explode from the feeling and she felt the tears well up. 

“Baby doll, I’m so happy you’re here. How long do I have you?” 

“um, you mean here in France or in general?” 

“Start with France” 

“Day or two” She was so fucking relieved that he seemed happy to see her she started to tear up a second time “Damn it, Sebastian, you broke me, I can’t not cry with you” 

The game was amazing, Brodie loved the action and loved being with Sebastian even more. He kept his hand firmly on her lower back anytime she wasn’t sitting. They were constantly touching in some way, holding hands or his arm over her shoulders, her hand on his leg. Brodie really liked Jessica and Gian and she spoke Italian to Gian almost exclusively, for fun. 

Sebastian leaned into her ear halfway through the game and whispered “you’re gonna have to stop that for a little bit because I can’t get rid of this hard on every time you start talking in Italian” She took that as a challenge and made a point to talk to Gian Luca as much as possible. As much as she was enjoying herself at the game, she couldn’t wait to be alone with Sebastian again, she was really hoping he felt the same and wasn’t going to want to go out for drinks or dinner or some shit. She had precious little time with him. She got her answer in the last few minutes of the game. “Doll, I can’t wait much longer to be alone with you. I need you.” “God Sebastian, I need you so bad it hurts”

They celebrated the US win and then rushed off to the airport, this flight she had Sebastian with her, she was finally relaxed. She rested her head on his shoulder and he put his down on hers as the plane took off. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth and kissed it. “I love you” she said snuggling closer to him.

“I’m never gonna get tired of hearing that” he said “I love you too” she smiled and drifted off to sleep for the short flight. 

By the time they got to the hotel Sebastian was living in temporarily, they were both vibrating with anticipation of being together alone. It had one of those really cool cage elevators Brodie loved and when they stepped in Sebastian put his hand under her shirt to touch her lower back skin to skin. She made a little whimper sound and the elevator operator asked if ‘la Dame’ was ‘effrayée’. 

Brodie answered "Non. Juste fatigué”

Sebastian looked at her “Really? French too?” 

“Oui, seulement un peu” and held up her thumb and pointer finger an inch apart to indicate a little. 

They stepped out on Sebastian’s floor and as soon as the elevator resumed its’ upward path, Sebastian grabbed her around the waist with his left arm pulling her against him so she could feel how hard he was already. She kissed the tip of his nose. He ushered her to his room door and fumbled in his pockets for his keycard. Brodie leaned her back against the door facing him. He was adorably flustered; it was making her want him even more. She started to undress slowly there in the hallway. It was making it worse for him to find the fucking key card. Finally, he remembered he put it in his wallet and got it out and opened the door, just as Brodie was unhooking her bra and he heard someone coming down the hallway. He pushed her inside the room kicking her discarded clothes in with them. He dropped what ever he was holding and started to undress as he watched her take off the final pieces of clothing. He got to his boxers and couldn’t wait, he grabbed her and kissed her holding her tightly. 

He led her backwards to the bedroom. He couldn’t stop touching her, roaming his hands all over. He still couldn’t believe she was actually there with him. He pulled open the covers on the bed and she jumped up into it. He kneeled between her legs looking at her for a minute in his bed trying to burn the image into his brain. She smiled at him looking up through her lashes “what?” She asked “I forgot how fucking beautiful you are” he said, she blushed “stop” she said covering her face with her arm. 

He leaned forward and pulled her arm off “What did I tell you about being embarrassed in front of me?” She rolled her eyes “Did you…Roll your eyes at me?” he said grabbing her wrists and holding them above her head. 

“no” she said smirking rolling them again

“No what?” he said lifting one eyebrow

“No, Daddy. I mean Tati” she quickly corrected and looked shocked at what she had said. He cocked his head to the side 

“what did you say?” 

“No Tati” she repeated biting her bottom lip hard as if trying to stop it from coming out again

“No what did you call me before that?” he used his thumb to pull down on her chin to release her lip.

“daddy” she whispered blushing; she had no idea why it had come out. He nodded and smiled 

“say it again” 

“Daddy” It was the name she was holding back for the one, even calling him ‘Tati’ which meant the same thing was a way to avoid using it. She hadn’t even thought about calling him it, it just seemed right.

“why the change?” He sensed it was a big deal for some reason by her own reaction 

“I just, I don’t know, I never trusted anyone enough to call them Daddy, I guess it just came out. It’s kind of the title I’ve had in my head for a long time for… the one.” She immediately panicked that she just laid out her cards to him. “Sorry I might be tired from the trip” He smiled widely.

“How long? When was the last time you used it?” If it meant that much to her, he wanted to know who else measured up. 

“Never, not even on accident like right now, not once.” It was the exact thing he needed to hear after weeks of trying to explain to his friends how this was different, she felt the same way, she was just working like he was.

“Alright Brodie baby, you can call me Daddy when you want, but if you do then only me. From now on I own it. If you made it the title only for one, then I expect to be the only one.” she shook her head yes that she understood. She thought about it for about 5 seconds.

“I promise daddy, just you, you’re the one.” 

“Give Daddy a kiss” she did He couldn’t explain why the name change affected him the way it did, it meant the same thing just in English, but it was what it meant to her that made it different. He was suddenly more confident in the role. She trusted him. She called him ‘the one’. 

“Baby, Daddy is gonna need you to do something” she smiled 

“whatever you need, I’ll give it to you”

He rubbed his pointer and middle fingers along her mouth tracing the outline of her lips. “open” he whispered, she obeyed. He put his two fingers in her mouth, she sucked on them, he removed them from her mouth and put them inside her. He made sure they were well covered in her wetness and then took them out and brought them back to her mouth, she pulled her head back into the pillow lips closed tight. “come on baby doll, open up for daddy” she sighed and opened her mouth for him. He slowly put his fingers in her mouth, making sure he rubbed the wetness on her lips as he did. He gave her a nod and she sucked on them again. He smiled at her “good job baby” he took his fingers out of her mouth and settled his hips down between her legs, she arched up to meet him and he slowly entered her until he was fully inside her, buried deep. He leaned over her and kissed her, his tongue slowly exploring her mouth. He put his mouth to her ear and whispered “now I can be inside you and taste you at the same time” it was so fucking dirty and erotic she felt herself tighten around his dick. He chuckled in her ear “That’s my girl” 

“I am your girl” she said “There’s just all these opportunities and I don’t even want to be with anyone else, I don’t know why.”

“that’s because Daddy takes good care of you”

“yes, you do” he was so fucking hot with this new dominance she thought “Daddy, fuck me please. I want you so bad.”

“You do, huh? I want you too baby doll. Tell me I’m your only one”

“You’re the only one Sebastian. No one is even close to you. Just you. Forever” 

Her phone went off somewhere in the other room. Sebastian was asleep next to her and she had been watching him as he softly breathed. He looked so sweet and she just wanted to stay with him forever. She got up carefully to not wake him she needed water and grabbed her phone. It was a text from Jeremy. She sighed what was wrong now?

J- just making sure you’re ok, how did your man react to the surprise? Need me to kick some ass?  
B- I’m good thanks. Not this time slugger. 

She sent him a picture from the game of her and Sebastian smiling, cheeks pressed together obviously ecstatic to be together.

J- Nice. Hey are you staying at that one rat hole we did on our first tour there by chance? Make sure you say hello from me to the rat family that had us all sleeping in one bed.

Brodie laughed at the memory of the four of them huddled together on a twin sized bed in Malcolm’s room because his was the only rat free zone. The rats were vicious and they were all convinced they would be eaten alive.

B- No I hope to god that place is long gone. Thanks for checking on me I’ll be there soon, exhausted but totally worth it.  
J- No problem, hey if we want to watch an episode of GG that you have seen before that’s ok right?  
B- NOOOOO!!!  
J- damn it!

She snuck back into the bed, Sebastian stirred and reached for her. She scooted closer so he could touch her. He pulled her close sighing. She snuggled in and fell asleep. 

Sebastian’s alarm went off and they both said “Fucking hell” in unison they looked at each other surprised and then laughed. 

“Sorry doll, I gotta work today” 

“I know Jessica gave me your schedule so I could plan what I was going to do” 

“yeah? What’s your plan?” he asked getting up 

“I don’t have one because I just want to be available when you are, I know we can’t really go anywhere because, pictures, but…” 

“Brodie…” he sighed She got a knot in her stomach, he said her name so seriously. “… we need to talk about something.” 

“ok” she tried not to panic 

“I know that you...” he started over “I know that we wanted to keep this quiet.” He motioned from himself to her “I just…don’t think it’s working for me” she didn’t even breathe she was so still. He looked at her “No, baby, no!’ he said realizing she misunderstood “not us.” He held her face “Not us doll, I love you. I meant keeping it quiet” she just sat very still “Brodie, I love you I’m not going anywhere ok?” she nodded her head very slightly 

“I just, I don’t want the world to think you’re Chris’ anymore. I know it was convenient and both our managers thought it was a good idea, but I don’t care I’m tired of it.” She was trying to get her heart to start beating again. “Baby look at me” she turned her eyes to him “I love you I want to be able to be with you without worrying that we going to get caught. I want you to be able to come to work with me and not care if someone sees you there. I want you to be able to like my fucking photo online without everyone and their mother talking about you fucking my friend” he was getting a little louder with each word and now he was pacing back and forth in front of the bed. She was mentally preparing to duck and cover. 

“God damn it! I want everyone to know that you are mine.” He had pointed angrily at her with ‘you’ and slapped his hand to his chest with ‘mine’

“ok Sebastian” she said trying to calm him down. She stayed still.

“and what fucking opportunities are you not able to take because you don’t know why?” he looked at her to answer.

“nothing I just meant…” he was rubbing his hands over his face in frustration and she could feel how upset he was.

“When your tour is over are you going to come to New York?” it was all coming out now. What everyone had been trying to plant in his head to protect him.

“I haven’t thought…” she was trying to calm herself down now.

“I can’t do this separation, unless I know, it’s killing me” he said closing his eyes and sighing deeply. She waited to see if he was going to say anything else. When he didn’t, she took a deep breath and began.

“Sebastian, I’m sorry that we have been apart for 6 weeks. It sucks for me too, but I realize I haven’t been very attentive to you. I got caught up in the bullshit of the road. I am not used to having someone who wants to spend time with me like you do or treats me like you do or says they need me. I’m just not used to it, but I’m trying to learn how. That’s not an excuse it’s just I want you to know that it’s not because I don’t love you or that I don’t want to take care of you because I desperately do. I have no problem telling everyone and their mother that we are dating. I want to be able to go places with you and not care too. The only one that it’s gonna hurt if it gets out is you.”

“don’t start that bullshit that you’re not good enough for me. I swear I will lose it. I am so tired of all the reasons why it won’t work”

“no, that’s not what I meant. It’s what your publicist said, you’re more attractive single’

“I don’t fucking care” he was yelling now. She recoiled at the sound.

“I know. I just wanted to be clear what it was about. I’m sorry it has been difficult for me to meet your friends. It wasn’t fair. You have met, well, everyone I know except Nina and it’s not fair that I didn’t have a chance to meet your people. Frankly, meeting your mom will be challenging but I will do whatever it takes to make this work. I want to move to New York to be with you if that’s where you want to be, but I will move anywhere you want to if I get to be with you. But New York is a little better because I already have a place there.” He was visibly calming down the more she answered his questions. 

“the separation has been brutal for me too. If Nina hadn’t joined the tour, I don’t know how I would have made it. Maybe we need to make a deal that we don’t go longer than 6 weeks without seeing each other.”

“6 weeks? Are you insane? 4 no 3 weeks. No 2 weeks.” He said “2 weeks and one of us goes to the other one who ever can make it easier and we try to switch off if possible.”

“ok 2 weeks, I would like that a lot.” She could face two weeks without him at a time. “What else?”

“you’ll come to New York?’

“yes. I know you have your family and friends there and I like it there so it’s easier for me to go to because like I said I already have a place. We can always go stay in California sometimes during the year too. I mean, I could, if I need to.”

“We. Could.” He corrected “When do I get to meet Jennine?”

“I can call her and have come over but you have to go to work. How about tonight?”

“she’s here?”

“Yeah, she came to see her friend Thomas, we made a 4,000-mile booty call together” he smiled but not the real one

“Brodie?” he was serious again

“yeah?” 

“what opportunities?” He said it like he had been thinking it over all night. She could have kicked herself for making such a flippant remark.

“Look, touring is like another dimension, rules are different and egos take over, it’s lonely. I could, if I wanted to, pick out someone and 9 times out of 10 they would want to take the offer. Or more than likely they are the ones that make the offer, I’m sure it happens to you?” he shrugged “But I haven’t even been interested and I even turned down Nina so…”

“wait” he cut her off “you and Nina are together?” he started to get upset again

“no, I mean we have been before, a lot, but not since I met you, I swear. I told you I wouldn’t go behind your back. I told her we had kind of worked out a thing and she assumed but you weren’t there to agree. I just didn’t want to be with anyone without you or that wasn’t you actually.” 

She knew he needed her to be vulnerable right now, she could feel it off of him that this was make or break. She wanted to say the right things the right way but she just said it the way she felt it. “Sebastian, I can’t…I want to… you’re the only one I want to be with forever. It scares the crap out of me that you don’t feel that way too, but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel that way. I want to tell you about things that no one else knows and it terrifies me that you will never be able to look at me in the eye again, but I still want to tell you. When I’m not with you my…soul hurts and when I think about us breaking up I…” she had to stop because she was crying again. “Damn it, broken” She shrugged unable to find her point. He nodded his head one swift nod his lips pressed tight. He walked into the other room without saying anything and she put her face in her hands and sighed trying to figure out if she should get up and get dressed or lay down until he was gone and then go, she laid down. 

He came back with his phone to his ear “yeah about a half hour” he looked at her cocked his head to the side “wait no, an hour. Yeah, and I’m bringing my girlfriend so make sure she’s on the list. Yeah, Lee, L-e-e. Ok thanks bye” He turned the phone off and tossed it on a chair. He looked at her laying on his bed her eyebrows knitted together, frowning. He walked over to the edge of the bed “Hey” she didn’t respond.

He crawled to her on the bed and started kissing the inside of her right ankle, when he got up to the inside of her knee, he looked up at her. She was silently watching him trying to figure out what was happening. He kept traveling up the inside of her thigh to her right hip up her ribcage and stopped even with her nipple looking up at her again. She was still watching him. He kept going to her shoulder up her neck and ear and moved across her cheek to the corner of her mouth. She closed her eyes as a tear fell from her right eye down the side of her face.

He whispered “I love you Brodie Bambolina, Baby doll” his ridiculous pronunciation of her last name made her look at him. “You’re not broken, you’re stronger because you can cry and I do feel the same way, AND” he said before she could say anything “there is nothing that you can tell me about your past that would ever make me stop wanting to look at you or make me stop loving you, and my soul aches for yours too when we’re apart” he stopped to think what was next on her list “Oh yeah, I’m not going anywhere doll and neither are you, understand?” she nodded her head that she understood. “Brodie?” “hmmm?” “thank you” she shrugged. He laid on top of her grabbing her around her waist and rolled over so she was on top of him. 

“Come on Brodie give Daddy a kiss” she gave him a quick peck. “That’s it?” she shook her head yes. “Doll, kiss me” she kissed him with another peck. He narrowed his eyes at her “last chance” he said. She pecked at him again. “are you disobeying me?” she sneered and rolled her eyes curious to know what he was gonna do about it “alright that’s it” he pushed her off of him and stood up “come here. God damn it, NOW Brodie!” he said when she didn’t respond, at first. She sighed and slowly made her way over to him with attitude. He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her face close to his face “kiss me, now” he said a little scary, but so, so, hot. She felt every nerve ending wake up and she wanted to see if he would back down like he had before, so she kissed him with a short but softer kiss. “You fucking know how I want you to kiss me, do it now” Good lord she wished she had called him Daddy a long time ago, where has this Sebastian been hiding? She put her hands on his hips and leaned in kissing him like he wanted, he stood still and only relaxed his lips so she could put her tongue in his mouth. She pulled back and looked up at him challenging him with her glare. 

He looked at her for second then he grabbed her hips and turned her around pushing her towards the bed. He pushed her head down so she was bent over the side “don’t fucking move” he told her and she heard him looking for something in the room. He came back behind her and threw a box down on the bed. Lube. She knew where he was going with this now, god she loved him. He grabbed her wrists and held them both in his enormous left hand behind her back. He used his foot to spread her legs and bent over her his dick hard against her ass, he whispered in her ear “ready doll?” she turned her face towards him “so ready” he kissed her ear lobe and went back to being angry Daddy. He picked up the box and opened it with his teeth taking out the tube inside, thank god it had a flip top cap and they had already used it so he didn’t have to waste time opening the fucking thing. She felt him squeeze out a bunch of the cold gel onto her tailbone then he tossed the tube on the bed. He used his free hand to take most of it and put it on himself then he took the rest and carefully spread it around her anus inserting his finger to make sure he got some inside. He wiped his hand down her back starting at the base of her neck to where he was still holding her wrists in his left hand. He put his right hand on one cheek and his left knee on the other to open her wider. He slowly slid his knee across her left cheek to her hip until the head of his dick was in her anal opening and waited for her to nod, she did, he went a little further she groaned and nodded. He repositioned his feet to steady himself and pushed until he was deep inside her. He pulled back on her wrists to bow her back and her head and shoulders lifted from the bed her back arched in a beautiful curve. “if I let go of your wrists are you going to be good?” “yes daddy” he pulled them once as a warning and let them go. She propped herself on her hands so she could stay in the back bend. He took his left hand and put two of his fingers inside her vagina she groaned louder, he added a third finger “fuck” she yelled. 

He could feel his dick moving through the wall between with his fingertips. It was the most fucking amazing feeling. He took his right hand and wrapped it around her right hip, making slow clockwise circles around her clit. “Jesus Daddy I can’t wait” “then don’t doll” she came hard, she thought she was going to fucking explode it was so intense, he came right after her and she had another wave when he did. 

She collapsed forward facedown trying to catch her breath he slapped her right ass cheek hard and bent over her “Never disobey me again Doll, got it?” She nodded he slapped her cheek again a little harder “Yes daddy, I understand” he pulled his left hand out of her and wiped it on her left ass cheek “Look what you had for daddy” he smiled “so amazing, such a good girl” he said as he pulled out carefully. She whimpered from the loss of contact. “You ok?” 

“I’m fucking perfect” she said trying to crawl up on the bed but her legs were too weak. He gave her a boost by grabbing her hips and pushing them forward. She completely melted into the bed facedown. He looked at her and thought about how she opened up to him emotionally. He knew that was harder than anything for her, his doubts, his friend’s doubts really, faded away. “come on doll. I’m late for work and you’re coming with me” 

“Ok just 1 minute” she mumbled 

“Now doll” I think I might have created a monster, she thought, a skilled, in charge, hot as fuck monster “or I’m going to have to do that again” as much as she wanted him to, she didn’t think she could handle it again so soon. 

“Ok daddy I’m getting up”


	45. Sebastian’s Trigger Words

She had never actually watched a big film being made on location. She had made small music videos and visited Robert a million times on sets, but this consisted of hanging out in Robert’s trailer eating snacks and watching movies until he was done. It was fascinating and so many people were involved. She stayed as out of the way as possible and just observed, something she loved to do. It was weird to watch Sebastian and Jessica act like a couple and then immediately go back to themselves when the scene was done. Because she was staying on the edges of the whole thing, she saw fans, and other people taking pictures or trying to get video of the action. She tried to stay unnoticed. Thankfully all eyes were on the actors. 

Watching Sebastian was amazing to her. He looked so at home with whatever he was doing, they would do a scene and then they would sometimes do it over again sometimes they would all go look at a monitor and point out changes and then do it again. Every once and awhile they would call out something and someone would go over and fix his shirt or his hair or his make-up. There is something about watching a person doing what they are meant to do. Occasionally he would look over at where she was sitting and wink at her.

She was wearing his sunglasses because she forgot hers and one of his sweaters because it was windy, he thought she looked adorable in them. She had one of her notebooks, she would sometimes be writing in it when he would look over at her and he wondered if she was working on another song. Right before lunch break, she had somehow gotten ahold of a coffee and a pastry and was happily eating away while laughing with his assistant. He felt his heart skip a beat.

When it was time for lunch he looked around at the surrounding crowd of observers, fuck it, he thought and walked up to where she was sitting and held out his hand to help her off the chair. When she had hopped down, her hand in his, he pulled her close and kissed her. He was tired of pretending she wasn’t his in public. She looked at him and nodded towards the crowd. He made a point to look at them and then took his glasses off her face and dipped her and kissed her again. “Mine” he said in her ear as he pulled her back upright. “all yours, daddy” and she winked at him.

When they got back to his room after a long day of shooting, she wanted to take care of him. It was the first time she wasn’t working while they were together. She noticed the tub earlier.

“you wanna take a bath?” she asked him

“Depends, you gonna be in it?’

“I could be if you want me to”

“I want you to”

She filled the tub and found bubbles were in one of the tiny hotel bottles. She held the bottle up to him “of course, yes, we need bubbles” he answered. She sat in the tub against the wall and pulled her knees up and opened them wide “come on” she motioned for him to sit between her legs so he was leaning back on her. 

“you sure I’m not going to hurt you doll”

“positive” as soon as he settled in front of her, she wrapped her legs around him loosely and pulled his shoulders so that his back was resting on her chest she put her chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear “see, perfect fit” “yeah, we are aren’t we” he said taking her hands and wrapping them around his chest. He relaxed into her. 

“I love you Sebastian” 

“I love you too Brodie” 

“I’m sorry you’ve become one of my wounded, as Duncan put it. I’m trying really hard to fix it” 

“Brodie… never mind” He didn’t want to upset her

“Say it, please. I want you to tell me how you feel. Everyone else wants to tell me their opinion of me but you are the only one that matters and the only one whose opinion is important, so please.” 

“Brodie, everyone in your life, except Robert and possibly Nina I don’t know I haven’t met her yet, was very happy with the way things were because they could dump everything on you and you took it. Nobody had to own up to their shit because ‘hey, Brodie will own it for me’. The first sign that maybe that is going away, and they all panic and try to guilt you back into line.”  
Damn it, he saw stuff so clearly, she thought. “they threaten you with leaving because they know that’s what hurts you the most. Fuck them. Especially your brother because he knows, Brodie, he knows what happened to you and he’s using it against you. I don’t know what happened or I know very little of it but I know it hurts you.” She had a hard time accepting that Duncan would hurt her on purpose, but then she remembered what he said to her on the phone “I think it’s fucked up that he used your pain to attack you, over what? That you might be dating Evans? That’s going to scar his kid for life? It’s bullshit, he sees you’re about to move on with me. He asked me what my intentions were when we went over there.” She didn’t know that “I told him I wanted you to move to New York with me and that I was in love with you. He told me that I should walk away now before I had to find out what you really are.” Ouch, she felt like she was going to throw up from the pain of hearing that “He wanted to make me feel like you are not good enough and I don’t give a shit. I love you Brodie, with all the good stuff and with every scar and every flaw and every batshit crazy thing about you too because all those things make you who you are right now. So, fuck him, I love you” She didn’t say anything because she didn’t have words. She squeezed him tight. With her chin still on his shoulder, they sat in comfortable silence for a long time. 

“Can I tell you something?” she was ready 

“Anything Doll” So was he

“The only reason that my stepfather wasn’t…” she paused, she was really going to tell him, breathe “…selling Duncan was because I was good at what I did…” ok he’s not freaking out delayed reaction maybe? “…I made a lot of money and we made a deal he wouldn’t touch Duncan if I played nice.” Sebastian was glad he was facing away from her because he was having trouble controlling the look of anger on his face “Duncan wouldn’t leave with me. I wasn’t going to leave him, he was my responsibility. I begged him, I told him what my stepfather was doing and he didn’t believe me or didn’t want to because he wanted to stay. He had friends and was happy you know, because I protected him…” Sebastian couldn’t decide who he hated more the stepfather or the brother “…When my mother started hitting him that’s when he finally believed me, sort of anyway. I think he thought maybe I asked for it, or deserved it, or liked it” she said the last 3 words very quietly “either way he always thought I was responsible. It used to make me sad or feel bad about myself but…” what was this feeling “…I just feel really fucking pissed off about it right now.” He turned as much as he could to look at her behind him. “What you said, you were right, he fucking knew, and not just because I told him. Sebastian, he knew.” She said it more to herself, she had known this but would never admit it before. Duncan was the only family she had, he was the only one that knew what she was and still loved her. Until Sebastian. “I really fucking… hate him… right now”

“Good Brodie, you’re allowed to. It doesn’t mean you will forever, but you’re allowed to be mad at people who hurt you.” He pulled her arms tighter around his chest “I want you to listen to me, you didn’t deserve it, and I know you didn’t fucking like it.” He had to stop and breathe so he didn’t say something he couldn’t take back about her brother. “I believe you. I love you so fucking much”

“do you think I should have left? Do you think I did the right thing?” for some fucking reason she needed him to tell her it was ok.

“I think that whatever you did was the right thing to do because now you are here with me” it was an answer she really wanted to hear “Brodie, where is your Stepfather?”

“Dead”

“Ok, good. Because now I don’t have to kill him myself.”

“Dude get in line; I would have first dibs” she kissed him on the neck. She felt like she could put it away again for a while, she had given him enough to run screaming from the room and he didn’t flinch. Fuck them, she thought, they are not taking him away from me, I’m done letting it define who I am. 

“Do you want to meet Nina?” she said finally 

“Very much” he said she nodded 

“ok I’ll call her. Sebastian?” 

“yeah?” 

“I have an idea for a solo album”

“thank fucking Christ, it’s about time!”

“do you want to hear it or not?” 

“Yes, of course I do”

She got up and grabbed a towel wrapping it around herself. She went in the other room to look for the notebook she wrote it in. He followed wrapping a towel around his waist. 

“I just had it where did I put it?” she was saying trying to remember 

He saw one near her bag “is it this one?” she looked as he picked it up 

“No, wait, careful!” she said as he lifted it, it fell open to a page with a single pressed tulip with a pink ribbon. It was the one he had given her on their first date. 

He looked at her “come here doll” he carefully closed the book and put it back. He pulled her close “why are you traveling around with that?” 

“It’s important to me. You gave it to me and…” 

“because it’s from our first date?” 

“yeah, and because it was super romantic” “shut up” she said when he flashed his wide smile at her “fuck, I’m turning into a girl”

“Uh, I hate to tell you but you are a girl. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

“Really? That’s what Nina said too. I mean, you know, a “girl”” he shook his head ‘like girly” she said turning red “like romance and all that shit”

“Doll when you move to New York and we can finally be together all the time, I am gonna show you romance and ALL that shit” she scrunched up her face embarrassed 

“ok, you do that. I will cook carbs for you.” he dropped his head back 

“god that is so hot!” she laughed 

“pasta, bread, cookies” 

“God damn it! Stop!” 

“These are Sebastian’s trigger words. Crackers, ice cream, potatoes”

He made the Winter Soldier face and said “I am ready to eat.” Then “instead of Sputnik just yell Chicken breast. I will cry”

She laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe.

They met with Nina and Thomas for a late dinner. Thomas invited them back to his place for drinks and since Sebastian had a late call the next day they agreed. He had a great place in the middle of the city. They talked about the tour so far and Thomas told them about some galleries he had his work in and what he had been doing since Brodie saw him last in Amsterdam. She still didn’t remember a lot about him but he was nice and Nina was clearly as smitten with him as Brodie was with Sebastian. 

Then he started to tell the story of when he and Brodie had what he called ‘relations’ Brodie thought hard trying to remember having any contact with him at all as Sebastian listened intently with one eyebrow raised. 

Finally, Nina laughed and said “he means the time you and I made out in front of him at the club where you got so high you thought your real dad was David Bowie because Bowie/Brodie, Booooowwwwiieeee, Brooooooodddiiieee.” Nina imitated a very baked Brodie.

“oh god” she put her face in her hands. “it made sense at the time” she told Sebastian 

“I bet it did” he said laughing 

Nina said they needed music and put on “daddy’s home” and Brodie glared at her, she winked back and wiggled her eyebrows. She motioned for brodie to come closer. Brodie mouthed ‘Bitch’ to her Nina laughed and grabbed Brodie’s face on either side and kissed her slowly at first but then she bit down on Brodies bottom lip and pulled it between her teeth until it popped back into place slightly swollen and pink. 

Nina looked to Sebastian and waited he sat motionless staring “Wait, brodie is he not…”

“no, he is”

“I’m what?”

“her Dom” said Nina at the exact time brodie said “Daddy” Nina stopped and looked at her Brodie shrugged, Nina smiled “good for you, love” she said to her. 

She turned to Sebastian “So, Daddy” 

“Hey!” Brodie protested “Mine” 

“So Seb” Brodie nodded her ok “Brodie has chosen, as her daddy, that you make the call” She looked to Brodie for approval she nodded yes. 

He thought about it for a minute. Then he sat back in the chair he was in and tapped his thigh “Come here” Brodie sat on his lap. “is this what you want doll?” she shrugged like she didn’t know 

“Not to interrupt story time but…” 

Sebastian nodded the ok but he pulled her in close and whispered in her ear “you tell me if you want to stop ok?” she smiled at him and kissed him 

Nina pulled her off his lap and challenged her with her eyes. Brodie responded by grabbing a fist full of her hair and pulling her head back biting the nape of her neck. Nina groaned and pulled Brodie’s shirt up over her head throwing it towards Sebastian. She pulled down the right cup of Brodie’s bra exposing her breast and biting down on her nipple pulling it so it stuck out hard and then she licked it with a wide tongue and put it in her mouth and sucked it. Brodie looked up to the ceiling biting her lip she turned her head and looked at Sebastian and closed her eyes. Brodie pulled off Nina’s shirt and she was bare underneath. Nina had moved to Brodie’s left nipple and was traveling down to her bellybutton. She slid to her knees and went to unbutton Brodies jeans, Sebastian stood up and quietly said “no. that’s mine.” Nina put her hands up and pulled back to sit on her heels. He walked over and stood between them quietly fixing Brodie’s bra and putting her shirt back over her head. 

He put his hands on her hips and touched his forehead to hers whispering “you’re mine doll, I wanna be the only one who makes you moan like that, waist up only” “ok daddy.” She said louder “Sorry Nina I can’t play that with you. Daddy wants that all to himself” Nina was so happy for Brodie; she could see how much Sebastian loved her and Brodie deserved it so much. “No worries B. Go play with your Daddy” and she jumped on Thomas’ lap “I got mine.” 

“are you mad at me?” he asked her on the way back to his room

“no. Why would I be mad at you?” she asked confused

“Because I want that part of you to myself?”

“Of course not! I’m glad you want me to yourself, because I only want you to have it.”

“but you said you never wanted that before”

“I know I never did, but I guess that’s because no one ever made me feel like you do”

“how’s that?”

“Like a … I don’t know… not just a ‘thing’. I can’t believe she played that fucking song”

“why?” she told him about watching the movie and how that scene made her upset, for some reason. “you wanna slow dance with me doll?”

“no.” she said pouty “maybe” “never mind. Stupid song. Shut up!”

As soon as they got into the room, he grabbed her in a slow dancing embrace. “You know, you’re the only one I want to slow dance with in real life.” He said. 

She looked him in the eyes “I love you Sebastian. If I quit the band, I can just stay here with you.” 

“Don’t do that. As much as I want you here, I would never want you to give up what you love to do. Besides I’m only here for another week or so and I can come see you before Comicon and then you can come see me for my birthday a couple weeks after that, every 2 weeks, right?”

“Yeah, 2 weeks is not that long.” 

He grabbed her face and kissed her slowly taking her bottom lip between his teeth and sucking on it instead of biting like Nina. She sighed. He pulled her shirt up over her head and unhooked her bra throwing them both to the side. Brodie chuckled at his recreation of earlier. He gently bit her right nipple then sucked on it until it stood up. He swirled his tongue around it. She moaned. He moved over to the left side and did the same. “daddy” she whispered. He kissed her stomach down past her bellybutton and slid to his knees. He put his hands on the small of her back and unbuttoned her jeans with his teeth by pulling on the corner of the button hole. He slid them down her legs along with her underwear and helped her step out of them. “spread your legs baby” she took one large step to the right “put your hands on your head” she did as he asked. He put his hands on either side of her butt cheeks and pulled her slightly forward “see this is mine, he said kissing her right below her belly button “and this” he kissed a little lower “and here” he buried his face between her legs using his tongue to make her weak “god you taste good” he said when she came. He looked up at her his mouth still on her. 

She looked down at him “it’s ‘cause I eat carbs” he lightly bit her inner thigh “Ow! Damn it, have a piece of bread, cranky!”


	46. Having To Say Goodbye To Him Again

She was curled up onto him, the top of her head under his chin, her left arm across his stomach, right leg long against his side and her left leg over his thighs. He could smell her hair, feel her soft breath on his chest. She was completely relaxed deep asleep. She was leaving later that night to be back in time for a show the next night. He kissed the top of her head and she sighed in her sleep, that was the second he knew without a doubt she was his and he was hers. His friends would figure it out eventually, he knew he would do the same for them if one of them suddenly announced that they were in a relationship with ‘that girl on the poster in my room’. It sounded crazy he had to admit.

He carefully stretched out his right arm to reach his phone on the bedside table, he didn’t want her to move, he wanted a picture of her just like this so he could look at it anytime the doubt crept in. She wasn’t kidding about the bruises from touring. She had a giant one on her left hip that was that yellowy-green color they turned when they were old. Her right shoulder had marks like rope burn he assumed were from her guitar strap because that’s exactly what they looked like. Her knees and shins were spotted with different shades of purple, her right knee in particular was scraped up pretty bad. “power slide” she said when he asked her about it. Her hands were calloused where they were red, raw and bleeding last time he was with her. Her nails were super short painted black and chipped. She had a black bruise the size of a quarter on her left wrist that looked like it was made by a sharpie it was so dark. He had added a hand print on her right ass cheek, he felt bad and started to apologize to her, she covered his mouth with her hand and said “No daddy, I want that one, don’t worry, if you do something I don’t want, you’ll know” 

Part of him felt bad that he had told her what her brother had said to him. He knew she loved him fiercely and protected him at all costs. He would have never said anything if Duncan hadn’t hurt her like he did. Damn it, somebody had to stand up for her. She would do it for him, he had no doubt. He was glad she had Robert all these years, and he liked Jennine, Nina. He was excited to bring her to meet his friends, he knew once they actually met her, they would love her too. However long that was going to take to coordinate he didn’t know. 

“Hey Brodie” he gently shook her “Baby Doll?” “Hmmm?” “how about we facetime a couple of my friends before you leave?” “sure daddy” she said moving closer to him and going back to sleep. He texted his buddy Charles. 

Brody asked if she could at least take a shower and get some coffee so she could have a coherent conversation. About an hour and a half later he had 3 of his best and longest friends on Face time. He loved that she now sat ready in jeans and a t-shirt, no shoes, no make-up, just the real Brodie he loved. 

“ok, be nice!” he told his friends before he turned his laptop towards her. 

“Hi” she waved at the screen and smiled. They were all three in different places so she looked to   
Sebastian to point out who was who.

“That one is Will” he said pointing to the top left

“Hey Will, nice to kind of meet you, I’m Brodie”

“Hi Brodie! Nice to kind of meet you too” 

“That one is Charles” Sebastian pointed to the bottom left

“Hi Brodie” he waved

“Hey Charles” 

“and that one is Toby” he said pointing to the right 

“Hi Toby”

“Hi Brodie, how’s Paris?”

“it’s beautiful. Are you in New York?”

“yeah”

“I heard it’s been super-hot this summer”

“yeah, we’re melting”

“So, I just want to say first of all, I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to meet any of you in person. I feel really bad about it and I promise in my next life I will try not to meet the love of my life right before I leave for a 12-week tour and can’t meet his friends” They laughed Sebastian caught the “love of my life” line and smiled. “Look I’m sure you all have questions so just go ahead and ask me what ever you feel you need to know.”

“Uhhh, ok” Charles started “why do you need to keep your relationship a secret?” they all nodded Wow, Charles is straight to the point Nina style she thought. 

“well, we didn’t really start out saying it was a secret, it was just nobody noticed. I think that we just wanted time to be together without having to share it with everybody, especially after the whole Evans thing. I mean it sucked but it also provided kind of a good cover for us to get to build this without cameras everywhere.” She looked at Sebastian and shrugged. 

“Exactly” he agreed “but it is too hard to have to deal with hiding it so we are going to just act normal and if people find out they find out” 

“I have a question.” Will said “Seb said you were moving to New York. The East Coast is lot different than California, what if you hate it here?”

“well, I have lived in California for the last few years but I am actually from North Jersey. I moved to the city when I was 16 and lived there for a long time.” They all three looked surprised “Back in the day when New York was scary, not like now, all touristy and safe” Sebastian laughed Will looked at the camera with his mouth opened wide “I lived through black outs and Son of Sam and Times Square porn. I think I’ll adjust to the happy shinny city” Oh god please get sarcasm she thought. They all laughed and she relaxed a little more Sebastian grabbed her hand. 

“You’re bisexual right?” Charles again 

“Hey…” Sebastian started to protest but Brodie squeezed his hand

“It’s ok, he can ask whatever he wants to” she looked at him and smiled “Go ahead Charles, yes I am bisexual”

“So, what if Seb wants you to be monogamist?”

“Um, bisexual means someone is attracted to both sexes, polyamorous date more than one person at a time. I’m bisexual but I am monogamist if that’s how the relationship is. So, I am only with Sebastian. It’s like any one else if you are with someone you don’t actively seek out another girl, at least I hope not anyway, but it’s not any different.”

“ok this is the most important question” Will said “Pizza?” Sebastian dropped his chin to his chest he knew what was coming.

“Jersey” she said without a question in her voice

“WHAT?” “no, no, no” “Aw! I was just starting to like you” They were saying all at once

“I stand by what I said, the best pizza is from New Jersey and I will fight you all on it!”

“Look, so she has ONE flaw!” Sebastian said

Brodie laughed “Just ONE! Wait that’s not a flaw! I’m right!”

“look I hope you can all come to the show we’re playing at the garden in a couple weeks it’s right before his birthday” she pointed to Sebastian “I always have all these free comp tickets and hardly ever use them so please come and bring someone with you. If you want to come back stage before or after or both, too. I would love to be able to meet you all properly.” They were all three excited about the offer and promised to come see the show. They said goodbye.

“You are amazing Doll” she shrugged “they liked you”

“really?” she asked scrunching up her nose

“Yes really” he was so fucking happy she felt bad she hadn’t given him this small gesture sooner. She closed the facetime window and looked at his desktop picture.

“Sebastian! Really?! What the fuck?” he leaned over and closed it

“What?” he was blushing

“Why do you have my very naked picture as your desktop?” he looked at her like she was crazy

“Why wouldn’t I? You are my girlfriend.”

“Oh my god, what if you’re like somewhere and everyone can see it?”

“Doll it’s on the internet, anyone can see it” she put her face into her hand

“God damn it. I’m gonna kill that photographer. What the hell was I thinking? I was young and stupid and newly divorced that’s what I was thinking.” She was rambling 

“Personally, I like it. Besides it’s not like a beaver shot or anything, it’s just your boobs.”

“oh, yeah, you’re right. You know I think I’m going to do this for the encore from now on” she flashed him

“No!” he said seriously

“what? Just my boobs.” she said

“Ok, ok, you’re right. Come here.” He hugged her. “but I am kind of attached to that picture.”

“Why? You have seen them in person.”

“yes, but, uh” he blushed “me and that picture go back a long way” 

“oh my god I can’t decide if that’s adorable or really disturbing” 

“let’s just go with adorable and not overthink it” she grimaced at the thoughts going through her head. “I’ll change it I promise. I have a better one now anyway” She glared at him. He picked up his phone and showed her, it was a picture he had taken earlier of her asleep. It showed her profile on his chest starting just below her jaw line, the top of her head tucked under his chin and it stopped at about the middle of the bridge of his nose. He had the beginning of a smile on his lips and his beard was morning scruffy. 

“I’m gonna need this one” she said he nodded yes. “I’m already starting to miss you and I’m not gone yet” 

“I know doll, me too. But it won’t be as long ever again” 

She was packing. This part sucked; she was on the path of having to say goodbye to him again. There was a knock at the door. “could you get that?” he asked 

“sure” She opened the door and a man in a very expensive suit was there holding a small gift bag. “Mademoiselle Brodie?” 

“Oui.” He handed her the bag, bowed and walked away “merci” she called after him. She turned around a little confused and Sebastian was there smiling 

“open it doll”

She blushed “Sebastian, what did you do?” 

“open it!” she opened the bag and saw there was a red box with gold accents on it, unmistakably a Cartier box. She looked at him he nodded for her to go on. She carefully took the box out hands slightly shaking. She knew it wasn’t a ring box, too big, but it was still something significant. She shook her head no, feeling unworthy of whatever was in it. Sebastian stepped closer “Open it” he said again. She clicked the little gold button that unlatched the clasp on the box and opened it. Inside was a beautiful delicate necklace of pink gold, the charm in the shape of an orchid with a diamond center. The little card under the box read ‘Caresse d'Orchidées par Cartier necklace’ 

“Sebastian I can’t…” 

“Shhhhhh, doll. I love you. I told you I was gonna spoil you. Do you like it?”

“Oh god, It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, I love it” she hugged him “thank you so much” 

“Here let me” he took the box from her and removed the necklace he unhooked it and then placed it on Brodie’s neck clasping it behind her. She looked down at it and touched it lightly with her fingers. It was so shiny and sparkled in the light. 

She looked up smiling he was watching her every move. “it’s perfect”

“like you doll” she scrunched up her face and covered her eyes with her hand beginning to cry. He put the box back in the bag and dropped it on the chair. He wrapped his arms around her “Don’t cry baby doll. It’s ok”

“I love you so much, thank you. No one’s ever…” she couldn’t finish

“See this way, you can leave the one in the notebook at home safe and you always have a flower from me with you.” That did it, she full on sobbed he held her tight. “doll your gonna have to get used to it, I’m gonna spoil you a lot.”

“you don’t have to”

“I know, I want to.” He kissed her forehead. “you’re my girl.”

“you’re my daddy” 

“yeah, I am.” He smiled a wickedly sexy smile “Come on daddy wants to see you with nothing but that necklace on” 

Now she was running late because she didn’t finish packing before the necklace was delivered and then as was becoming their custom, they took their time when it was the last time. Nina was on her way over so they could take a car to the airport and Sebastian was not getting dressed.

“She will be here soon and she will just walk in here Sebastian. At least put pants on.”

“ok Doll, but you need to breathe” she gave him the evil eye. “ok, ok, look pants” he said as he buttoned his pants and looked for his shirt. 

“You know how you said waist down was yours?”

“yes” 

“yeah, well that goes for you too buddy, wait make that neck down I’m not as generous” he walked over to her “no, no, I have to pack” she said holding up her hands. He grabbed her wrists and pulled her to him

“Well if we’re going to be honest, I want all of you to be mine only” she sighed

“Dude, you know it is, right?” she put her arms around his neck

“I was hoping, because you said I was the love of your life”

“Did I?” she teased him “I don’t remember that. You might be hearing things.” There was a knock at the door. “Fuck! I was here for 2 days how could it take me this long to pack?!” she pushed him away and towards the door. 

“Hey Seb! She’s not ready, is she?”

“Fuck off Nina, I’m going as fast as I can”

“Come on in” Sebastian motioned towards the bedroom where Brodie was freaking out.

“I’m not going in there, she bites!” Nina dropped down on a chair. “wait you guys didn’t…”  
She made a hand gesture with the finger of her right hand and the thumb and pointer finger of her left hand in a circle. “…on this chair?” 

Sebastian shrugged “it’s possible” he sat in the chair across from her. “Hey, take care of our girl ok?”

“It’s nice of you to say ‘our’ girl, but I knew weeks ago she’s all yours. First, she turned down going to pick up guys then she turned me down. I knew then that part of our relationship was over, but we will always be close friends, so it’s ok. I like you Seb, you treat her like she deserves.”

“I like you too, Nina. You treat her pretty damn good yourself.”

“so, uh, what did the brother say to you?” she said it quiet so Brodie didn’t hear

“that I should run” he said a little surprised she asked that specific question

“what did you say?”

“I told him I wasn’t going anywhere.” 

“I told him basically the same thing but it came out more like ‘fuck off asshole’.” 

“what is with him?” Sebastian was hoping she had the answer

“I don’t know, guilt, jealousy, control, but she will never see it. She sees him as her baby brother and some kind of saint”

“Yeah, uh, she’s super pissed at him right now. She said she hates him”

“No shit?” Sebastian nodded “Damn, Seb! That huge dick of yours works miracles” He turned red and dropped his chin to his chest

“Brodie? Why does Nina think I have a huge dick?” he called to her

“Fuck Nina! That was between us!” Brodie said coming into the room, finally done packing.

“I’m sorry does he not know? You should look down at it, I hear it’s great. We can look at it together, come on big man let me see”

“NINA!” Nina rolled her eyes “go wait in the hallway before I beat the shit out of you, take my bag” Brodie ordered.

“See ya Seb! You have my number now, so call if you need anything”

“Bye Nina” Sebastian said his head still down in embarrassment.

“Sorry Daddy, I had to share it with somebody. It’s really fucking impressive.” 

He got up from the chair and hugged her “thank you for coming here. I really needed to see you. I was losing it.”

“I know, I needed to see you too, I will always come to you when you need me to ok?” He nodded yes.

“I’m gonna miss you Doll. You be a good girl; I don’t want to have to punish you again…but I will”

“I will Daddy… maybe” she kissed him “I’ll see you in 2 weeks, right?”

“Right, 2 weeks”

“I love you, Sebastian”

“I love you, Brodie”


	47. Was Anyone Else Seeing This?

This time on the plane, Brodie went to Nina. She had an idea and wanted to work on it before they got back, plus it was to help keep her mind off the fact that she was getting further and further away from Sebastian with each second. 

“Hey”

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I mean, ok enough, I was wondering if I could show you something?”

“Now you want to show me? I’d rather see it in person”

“No Nina, not that! Stop trying to see my boyfriend’s dick” she realized she said that a little loud and looked around. “I wanted to talk to you about the encore, I wanted to do the B-52’s Kate and Cindy are excellent at harmony, but I need another girl”

“Yeah?” she sat up “Fuck yeah!” they had never played together in front of anyone but they had sung together tons of times along with the radio or messing around on the road when they were bored. “What song are you thinking?”

“Roam.” Nina shook her head yes “It’s just them, back and forth and together, it’s awesome. You have to be Kate though she’s way too high for me.”

“I love that one! Kate is definitely too high for you but Cindy is too low for me.”

“Awesome, then you can be the Jane Wiedlin to my Belinda Carlise and we can be the Go-Go’s the next night? We got the beat?”

“YES! Who else?” Nina was excited that Brodie wanted her to play with her.

“Uh, The Bangles at some point, and Heart, Slater-Kinney, Siouxsie, Bikini Kill…” she showed her her notebook. “I don’t know there’s a bunch”

Nina started to go down the list “What does the check mean?”

“I already did those ones”

“Damn it! You did Patti Smith without me?”

“Well we did it at the second show so we can do it again, Patti deserves two tributes anyway”

“Oh, Missing Persons, whatever happened to them?” Brodie shrugged “I was kidding B, because ‘missing’” Brodie laughed “The Waitresses, Romeo Void. Salt-n-Pepa? I don’t know if we’re cool enough to pull that one off.”

“I know, I really love them though.”

“Blondie, Garbage, fuck Brodie we don’t have enough shows for this list. L7, The Gits, Sinead. Nothing compares to you?”

“No. I want your (hands on me).”

“’put ‘em on, put ‘em on, put ‘em on me’ Nina sang it quietly “Love that song!”

“yeah, it reminds me of Sebastian now” she sighed batting her eyelashes “His hands… (she made a growling sound)” Nina rolled her eyes

“Oh Joplin is all you, she is way too gritty for me, but you will kill it! Remember when you did ‘piece of my heart’ at that karaoke place and made that hippie guy cry?”

“Awww, he was super high. Poor guy was having a flashback, it had nothing to do with me.” 

“No, It was when you hit the ‘you know you got it whahhhhhhhhhh’ I love when you nail that part”

“Yes, but then I can’t talk for 12 hours if I hit right.”

“you should do that when Seb is here”

“why? So I can’t talk to him?”

“because he needs to know how awesome you are and that one is definitely heart stopping.”

“Stop!” she said embarrassed “it’s only because I’m imitating Janis”

“no dude, you kill that song! That’s it I’m gonna tell him he needs to hear you do it!” she texted Sebastian “see look, he said he can’t wait”

“Why did I let you get his number?” Nina shrugged

“Because you loooovvvvee me!”

“Yes, I do, but we need to practice ‘Roam’ right now”

They had run through it a couple times in the plane bathroom trying to not disturb the rest of the passengers it was too hard to do it quietly though. Nina said she was going to just listen to it on a loop for the rest of the flight. Brodie went back to her cubbie, as Nina called it, and messaged Sebastian. 

B- Please ignore Nina, she’s insane  
S- Nope, she is currently telling me what happened at a hippie karaoke?  
B- Why is she talking to you? WTF?  
S- She tells me stuff  
B- Wait, what stuff? Since when?  
S- Stuff! Like there is a spot behind your left ear that I’m supposed to find.  
B- MOTHER FUCKER  
S- Brodie, you like Steve McQueen?  
B- Yes, yes I do.  
S- Bullit or Great Escape?  
B- Both. Young Steve McQueen is hot AF! You remind me of him actually.  
S- Yeah? How’s that?  
B- He’s a totally daddy  
S- I’m your daddy  
B- You’re my Daddy, capital D.  
S- Woah!  
B- What?  
He sent her a picture of her young, her hair long, sun streaked and fanned out on a pillow, she is smiling into the camera, biting on the tip of her pointer finger. It was from years ago when her and Nina went to Jamaica together alone. It was a really intimate photo that she hadn’t seen before.  
S- Holy shit! This is the most beautiful picture I’ve ever seen.

She got up and went back to Nina’s seat “Nina! Stop telling him stuff!! Where did you get that picture?”

“I took it stupid, remember?” 

“Why did you send it to him? Are you trying to make him jealous or something?”

“No love, it’s a happy memory, that’s why I shared it with Seb. He should know you have good times in your past too. Plus, he appreciates it as much as I do”

“yeah, I guess. Still, stop telling him stuff!!”

They landed in Chicago and were met by Terri and a car to drive them to the venue. Brodie already felt exhausted but knew the trip had been worth what hell she was going to go through before she could sleep. She had texted the guys and told them about the encore idea and they seemed into it. 

“How was your boyfriend?” Brodie asked Terri

“good, how was your boyfriend? Was he surprised?”

“Yes, he had no idea! He was so cute he just went…” and she mimicked his face. 

“How about your man?” Terri asked Jennine.

“He was actually pretty fucking awesome. He is on his way here” 

“Wait, what? You didn’t tell me that!” Brodie said

“Yeah, well I didn’t want you to feel bad that Seb can’t be here for how long?”

“two weeks” she turned to Terri “That reminds me we worked out a thing where one of us will visit the other every two weeks. I gave his assistant your number and…” Terri held up her hand

“we’ve already talked and worked out a first draft schedule for you guys to look at. Also, Comicon is in 10 days so not two weeks this time.”

“Fuck, how did I ever live without you? Only 10 days?” Definitely worth the trip.

“I don’t know but let’s just promise you never have to again!” Terri stuck out her pinky and Brodie hooked hers around it in a pinky promise. 

The performance of ‘Roam’ by Brodie and Nina went viral. They were perfect compliments for each other’s voices. Plus, they had so much fun doing it, the audience couldn’t help but have fun too. The next night they did the Go-Go’s as planned. Brodie woke up one day to the bizarre fact that Good Morning America had made a new segment for their news, covering what female artist she was honoring each night. She just stared at the television in her room her coffee cup lifted halfway to her mouth, eyebrows up wondering was anyone else seeing this or if she was dreaming it? 

After several days of coverage, they decided to do Bikini Kill’s ‘Rebel Girl’ to see how that would go over with GMA, it actually went over pretty well because they had Kathleen Hanna on to talk about it. Brodie couldn’t understand why this was becoming such a big deal.

“Because Doll, people are interested in who influenced you and also how often are women musicians honored in any way?”

“I guess, it’s just weird.” She sighed “I keep waiting for a new picture of me and Chris to surface or some other bullshit thing.”

“No worries Brodie. We just ignore it ok?”

“Oh, sure now you’re all ‘ignore it’ a couple weeks ago you were ready to rage kill the internet”

“Well, that was before I was on my way to see my girl”

“You are going to see your mom first, as you should. Then you can come see me.”

“Yes, I know, I still think I should come there first”

“No Sebastian, she hasn’t seen you in a while and with your Stepdad gone…” he sighed

“I know you’re right. I’m going.”

“It’s only a couple days more and then we will be in San Diego together.”

“Yes, you and me and Anthony”

“And Nina” Brodie added

“Oh god.”

“Yeah, we should probably keep those two apart.”

“I think it’s important that we do”

She made it to San Diego before he did. They had played Irvine the night before and covered Missing Persons with ‘Words’ Brodie loved the intro so much to that song. The guys were staying at their homes with their families but Brodie headed down to San Diego to meet Sebastian, she had a rare Friday night off. Since he wouldn’t be there for a few hours she went over to Pacific Beach (PB) to meet with one of her tattoo artists, the one who had done the Bucky Barnes half sleeve. 

Sebastian texted her when he arrived.  
S- Hey I’m here are you at the hotel?  
B- No I had an errand to do I should be there soon.  
S- Ok we’ll meet there. Can’t wait to see you. Anthony wants to go eat.  
B- Sure sounds good, see you in a bit

Stupid Southern California traffic, she thought, she was dying to see him. When she finally got to the hotel she practically ran to the room.

“Sorry I’m late I had to do something while I was here.” She apologized as she kissed Sebastian hello and jumped up into his embrace. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too, doll” He was so happy to see her, he had a good time with his mom and they had talked a lot about her, but he always felt better when she was actually there. He was already getting anxious about Comicon, so many people.

“Awwww, ok that’s enough.” Mackie said disgusted, she hadn’t seen him she was focused on Sebastian. He put her down, she went over and hugged Mackie.

“what were you up to?” he eyed her suspiciously

“Uh, I had to get something on my arm fixed”

“Wait, what had to be fixed are you ok?” Sebastian asked suddenly concerned

“Oh yeah just something on my tattoo, no big deal”

“did you finally cover up that ugly face on there?” Joked Mackie

“no, I had to add something that I forgot was really important” she lifted her sleeve to show her plastic covered arm and revealed the new addition, a perfect rendering of Red Wing, Falcon’s side kick. She had the bird from the comics not the little winged robot from the movie. 

“Oh my god! Well now it’s perfect!” said Mackie “Although I would have put it right about there” he said motioning to Sebastian’s face.

“Yeah, well it was missing something this whole time” she said. “you mad at me about the Evans thing?” 

“No, I get it.” He hugged her “and just so you know, I would have felt the same way if there were pictures of this one with a girl” he tapped Sebastian on the stomach with the back of his hand.

Sebastian had come over to look at it close up “That’s beautiful doll.” 

“yeah you like it?” his approval made her so happy

“I love it” he kissed her 

“Eww, don’t kiss him. You are ruining this moment for me. You two need to get a room” 

“this IS our room” Sebastian said as he deepened the kiss 

“That’s it! I will dump this ice bucket on you both!” Brodie and Sebastian laughed “are we getting food or what?”

Brodie really wanted to take them to the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach it was a great casual bar and the band had played there a lot. 

“I want food though” Mackie protested

“Food first, no worries I got you” she patted his shoulder “I have spent a lot of time in San Diego I promise it will be fun”

He agreed and despite her better judgement, she texted Nina that if her and Thomas wanted to join them that’s where they were going. She liked the place, it was always fun lots of music and very chill, they would be able to relax and blend in.

Nina found them eating at the PCG not too far away. She was alone.

“Hey where’s Thomas?” Brodie asked concerned

“He doesn’t feel good, but told me to go out and have fun with you and the ‘pretty man’” She hugged Sebastian when he got up for her. “Hey Seb, sup?”

“This is Anthony” Brodie introduced them when he also stood for her “This is Jennine. You hungry?”

“yes! Sushi! I love California. I want to move here.” 

“Hey, you should stay at my house then, when I move to New York.” Brodie never thought of it before.

“Really? That would be cool, because now that we are going to work on that album it will be easier to get together.”

“Yes! You can just make the guestroom into your room!” they were getting excited and talking at the same time.  
“Wait, what album?” Sebastian asked  
“She’s moving in with you Seb?” Mackie asked him  
“Please tell me it’s a solo album finally”  
“You know, I could make like a guest house out back and just live with you forever”  
“we can switch back and forth from California to New York. Wait no guest house!”  
“But then we would be forever roommates like Grace and Frankie” it was all one big jumble of talking.

“Wait!” Mackie waved his hands in all three of their faces to get their attention “One at a time! New one first!”

Nina smiled at him “Thank you. I will move in after the tour and we will discuss my new tiny house later after we finish the record” he pointed to Brodie

“No tiny house, but I am glad you will be there. Yes, Sebastian, I was going to tell you later. Nina and I are going to work on a record together after the tour and I take some time off to hang out with my boyfriend” she put her head on his shoulder. Mackie pointed to Sebastian

“She is moving to New York but she has an apartment there already. How long of a break? No tiny house!” he said looking at each person. They all looked at Mackie for instruction, he sighed.

The night only got crazier from there, they had a great time. The belly up was full with the local regulars, Comicon attendees and plenty of famous Comicon guests too. When the live band played ‘Fortunate Son’ by Creedence Brodie was singing along in the front and the singer invited her up, she was drunk so she jumped up there without her usual refusal. Nina came over to Sebastian’s side to watch with him. When the song ended Brodie suggested they do ‘Piece of my Heart’ Nina had been making her practice it for days so it was the one song that came through the vodka. The band was stoked and she stepped up to the microphone and said “This one is for my man” and pointed at Sebastian. Nina yelled “Get it B!” 

Sebastian could not believe how different she sounded from the last time he saw her live two months before. Her voice was perfect and her swagger on stage was fucking crazy. That was what she was talking about when she said the first few shows weren’t tight yet. This is what she could do when she was on point. This is why there was such a buzz around her tributes, he realized. He couldn’t wait to hear her and Nina together live.

The song came to the guitar break and Brodie stepped back to let the guitarist spotlight. She took a couple deep breaths and knew she was going to nail the scream. She walked up to the front again grabbed the microphone still on the stand and tipped it sideways. She bent forward to sing the lines before it, getting almost eye to eye with the people in the front row and moving across the stage. 

When the song was at the line she pulled the microphone and let the stand drop to her side took a deep breath and nailed it “you know you got it Whhhhhoooooaaaaaa” as she sang it she stood straight then arched her head back at the end of the scream. Nina had grabbed Sebastian’s hand when she first walked to the front and squeezed it hard right before Brodie killed it. She knew by the look in her eye she was going to hit it hard. She had held the note out so long Nina was jumping up and down. Sebastian held their clasped hands up over his head. “That’s our girl!!” Nina yelled

“Please tell me somebody got that on their fucking phone” Mackie said from behind them, they hadn’t noticed he was there. “I know her! That’s my friend right there!” He was telling everyone around him. “She’s got my bird on her…” he pointed to his shoulder. 

Brodie was thanking the band shaking hands and hugging each one. She turned to jump off the front of the stage and saw Sebastian waiting for her, she crouched down to jump off and he grabbed her hips and pulled her down into his arms. She hugged him tight her arms around his neck and then wrapped her legs around his waist as usual. “kiss me daddy” she said as she crushed her mouth down on his as the band went on to another song. 

He eventually put her down reluctantly so others could talk with her. He started to move back so she could be free to interact with everyone, but she grabbed his hand and pulled him to her side. “where do you think you’re going?” she leaned into his ear and said “I’m not going anywhere doll” she smiled at him so adorably he kissed her on the forehead. She thanked everyone and took selfies with and without Sebastian and/or Nina and/or Mackie. After about 15 minutes she whispered in his ear “hey daddy, I want to be alone with you” he whispered back “I’ve been waiting all day for you to say that”


	48. Smooth As Fuck

Very dunk and amped from the performance she was feeling exceptionally flirty. Brodie was having a hard time keeping her hands, off Sebastian. He was having a hard time not letting her but the Uber driver was looking at her a little too intensely. She noticed the look he threw the driver and decided to push it just a little. 

She leaned forward and said “Hey cutie, can you turn that up, I love this song” and she winked at him. 

“Sure thing, beautiful” he winked back. 

Sebastian grabbed her elbow and pulled her back “Watch it, doll. I know what you’re doing” he warned her. She looked over her shoulder and fluttered her lashes at him. He narrowed his eyes at her. She turned and kissed him grabbing his hands and putting them on her breasts, he moved them to her back. 

“Doll, wait. We’re almost there” He should be made a saint for controlling himself he thought. “Brodie! Stop.” She was undoing his pants he grabbed her hands “Stop” he said putting his face right in front of hers. He was trying to make eye contact with the driver in the rearview mirror to make sure he was not looking in it to see in the back seat. 

“Tati, daddy, I want you.” She kissed him biting his bottom lip and then sucking it “please”

“baby you have to wait” she threw her head back “the driver is watching” he hissed

“fine, fine” she said pouting, then she smiled at him a little too sweetly

She put her own hands under her shirt and squeezed her breasts arching her back. Sebastian looked at the driver giving him a death glare when he looked in the mirror. She started to slide her hand under the waistband of her pants “Brodie no!” he grabbed her wrist.

“HEY!” he yelled at the driver “Eyes on the road man!” Brodie laughed

“you’re so cute” she grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him again “let him watch I don’t care, daddy”

“I swear, if I see you looking again I’m going to kick your ass” he said to the driver.

“Enough” he said to Brodie trying to keep himself from fucking her right there.

She sighed. Mercifully they were finally at the hotel. “Thanks for the ride cutie, I’ll make sure to give you a good view, I mean REview.” She purred at the driver.

“If he’s not interested, you have my profile, I’ll give you a ride” he winked at her again

Sebastian got out of the car and yanked her out with him. He made sure she had everything and closed the car door. Then he bent down and picked her up throwing her over his shoulder. She started laughing, waving to anyone who they walked by and when they got in the elevator with an older couple she turned her head towards them and casually said “Hey, how’s it going?” She felt Sebastian suppress a laugh. She couldn’t see their reaction but they quickly got out when it stopped at their floor. He didn’t put her down until they were in their room. 

She sank down to sit on the floor because the change in position made her a little dizzy. She looked up at him. “Are you angry, daddy?” she snickered “I was just playing”

“Get up” he was standing over her his hands on his hips. “Get. Up.” He said again when she just looked at him. 

She did “yes daddy?” she tried to kiss him, he stepped back.

“How drunk are you?” he looked closely at her

“Drunk but not too drunk” she said. He nodded, she loved that he asked that. He pointed to his dick.

“now, doll” and he grabbed her chin tightly “no more games”

“yes daddy” she undid his belt, the button on his pants and pulled down the zipper. She pulled them down to his mid-thigh. He was partially erect, she fell to her knees and started to lick him from the base of his dick to the tip, around the circumference until it was at full attention. She carefully kissed the tip lightly sucking the bead of precum forming. He put his hands on either side of her head, she sank lower on her knees and gently cupped his balls in her hand. His hands tensed on her head as she put them both in her mouth briefly, then licking them until he pulled her head back.

“get undressed doll, now” she stood up and started to get undressed he grabbed her wrist and glared at her. 

“Sorry, yes daddy” she continued to get undressed carefully removing her sleeve from her left arm so as not to disturb the plastic bandage. “does it hurt?” “no daddy, not a lot” He undressed himself. When she was done he pointed to the bed. She took a couple of steps “Yes daddy” he tried not to smile as she dramatically shook her ass as she walked to the bed. 

“lay down in the middle” he pointed

“ok daddy” she scooted to the middle and laid down like he asked. He got on the bed and laid on his side facing her with his head towards her feet. She smiled suddenly understanding what he was wanting. She rolled on her side facing him and adjusted her alignment to him. Opening her mouth and sliding his dick all the way in until it hit the back of her throat, she paid attention to how sore her vocal chords were from that scream, she had a show the next night, to her surprise all that practice with Nina must have built them up, they didn’t hurt at all. He propped her top knee so it pointed up to the ceiling, used her bottom thigh like a pillow for his head and stuck his tongue inside her, she had to concentrate to not clench her jaw. She slid him further down her throat, he countered by rubbing his chin in a slow circle around her clit and sucking on her opening with his tongue deeper inside her. She swallowed around him, completely took him in then hummed. She won, he came first. She grabbed his hips and held him deep in her throat feeling the hot liquid slide down her esophagus. He couldn’t thrust because she was holding him still so she swallowed again and he yelled out “Fuck!” so loud she worried the neighboring rooms might call and complain. His body went limp so she carefully pulled him out of her mouth then rolled on her back. 

She was settling in to go to sleep when he grabbed her ankle making her jump. “not done” 

“it’s ok, you don’t have to” She was satisfied to have made him scream ‘fuck’ at the top of his lungs

“no, I’M not done, you think you were funny? Huh?” she laughed 

“Kind of, yeah” 

“what did I tell you, who does this belong to?” he moved his hand from her ankle and shoved his two fingers inside her, she took a sharp intake of breath from the surprise. “Who, Brodie?” 

“You daddy” 

“Who?” he put two more fingers in her. 

“You, it belongs to you Daddy” 

“and who is your daddy?” 

“you are, Sebastian” he slowly spread his fingers, she pulled her knees up and opened them wide as she could. She was a little worried, she had been fisted before but his hands were truly large. 

“so, if I’m your daddy, and your daddy owns this...” he turned his hand and put his thumb on her clit “… why were you offering it to the fucking Uber driver?” 

“I wasn’t I was just playing with you, da…” he started moving his thumb “…uhhh, daddy” 

“Did you or did you not say to let him watch?” he moved his thumb and put it inside her 

“I did” he started to curl his fingers “I did daddy” she said quickly 

“So, now what is going to happen?” Holy shit he was so fucking hot she would have done absolutely anything he wanted.

“punishment?” she couldn’t help smiling

“what a smart girl” 

He was the sweetest fucking person she had ever met. Just when she thought he could not get more adorable, he would do something so natural to him, so sweet, that she would fall in love with him all over again. He was so concerned he might have hurt her, he was on a constant watch for any signs of discomfort afterwards. At one point she had made a noise in her throat to clear it, she knew not to clear it the way most people did, her ear, nose, and throat doctor had taught her that could cause nodules. No singer wanted those. So, she used the throat clearing technique the doctor taught her, Sebastian lifted his head to look at her, concern washed over his face. 

“I’m fine, I’m just clearing my throat” she touched his face “Sebastian, I’m really fine. I would have said something if it was too much. I promise. Besides it’s not the first time. Although your hands are ginormous.”

He looked at his hands “They are?” she held out her hand for him to compare and he placed his palm against hers, his fingers went a good inch past hers. “well compared to your tiny girl hands maybe”

“Dude I have ginormous hands for a girl” he made a face “I do, it’s why I can play guitar and piano and why my stepfather called me moose. Every other guy I know has the same sized hands as me”

“Moose?” he said it a little irritated at the nickname because of who had used it

“Yeah, look.” She sat up and folded her fingers placing the knuckles down on his chest so her hands were like hooves “see my hands are so big they make my wrists look super tiny and I look like I have moose hooves”

She laid back down on her back next to him and put her arms up stretching her fingers wide, “I can palm a basketball.” He grabbed the hand closest to him intertwining their fingers and brought them to his heart.

“Thank god your hands are that size. I hate when I have to be so careful because I could crush a girl’s hands just trying to hold them. That’s why I hardly ever do it, but now that I know that you can palm a basketball I’m going to hold your hand all the time.” She laughed “Also I’m signing you up for basketball. Between the distraction of how beautiful you are and the fact that you can handle the ball, we’ll be unstoppable!” It was just talking after sex, stupid shit you talk about because you’re relaxed, but it made her feel unembarrassed about her hands for the first time she could remember.

“Oh Sebastian, I hope you know how absolutely infatuated I am with you.” He smiled his goofy grin “you’re like, I don’t even know how to say it. How did I even find you? You’re like love story movie guy, like Jack Callaghan, perfect”

“The guy from Titanic? I think it was Jack Dawson.”

“No!! Not Leo in Titanic! Jack from While You Were Sleeping the brother that Lucy falls in love with”

“I don’t know if that’s good or bad?” he said laughing “And we are on a first name basis with DiCaprio, huh?”

“Yeah, I figure if you can be in a long-term relationship with a picture of my tits, then Leo and I have got to be married by now” she wiggled her eyebrows “we’ve done some stuff…in my head anyway”

“Really? Interesting. Who else might you be married to?” he rolled over on his side facing her

“Uhhhhhh, let’s see, oh, for sure Alexander Skarsgård” she growled and rolled her eyes, he tickled her “and ah, just guys?” he nodded “Norman Reedus ‘cuz his fucking arms, David Bowie absolutely, Young Steve McQueen, and, and, and, James Dean, annnnnndddd, OH of course Keanu!”

“You know with the exception of Keanu, they are all blond or blondish?” she thought about it

“Huh, I guess so. But it’s more like how they carry themselves. Like men, not douchey bros or hyper male. Just like smooth, like Sinatra, well dressed and funny, cool, you know?” He looked deep in thought. “But they are all ok and all, I haven’t really met any of them. You are the only one I’ve met in real life, and you are all those things plus one extra thing that makes you better than all of them combined.”

“What’s that?” he said expecting a sarcastic response

“Vulnerable” he looked surprised “like the way you did that scene in Winter Soldier, the end credits one?” he nodded “you didn’t even say a fucking word and it was like 30 seconds?” he shrugged “it makes me choke up every fucking time. I have seen it, I don’t even want to say how many times, and your face tells a complete story. Sure, yeah you could be like a really great actor” she realized what she said and waved her hand “and you are, honestly, but what I mean is you could just be a great actor and a dickwad in person. You aren’t though, you’re vulnerable and that makes you kind and funny and smooth as fuck and I love you so fucking much.” 

“So, I pass the Sinatra test?” she nodded “who else are you testing?”

“Oh besides you? Nobody”

“Hemsworth?”

“Ok kinda, yes! I mean did you see him at the pool at Robert’s? Scott and I rock, paper, scissored for him”

“Who won?”

“His wife.” She said deadpan. Sebastian laughed, rolling on top of her. He framed her face in his hands. “I just, worry that you know, when we actually get to be together without all of this crap, what if I don’t pass the Sinatra test, or whatever your test is?”

“Doll, don’t you think we were meant to be together? I mean think about it, that’s what 7-8 guys you just listed there?” she nodded “How many tattoos do you have total?” 

“Um, like 15 I think” he looked deeply in her eyes, she nodded understanding what he was saying. He was the only one she had a tattoo of and she was the only one that had been a poster over his bed. Somehow, they had been looking for each other.

Sebastian was due to appear at Comicon, literally across the street, and Brodie had a show in Chula Vista which was not that far from where they were. It was some kind of miracle that it had worked out that way she thought, but why do we have to get up at the ass crack of dawn. She realized it wasn’t the alarm but her phone ringing. Then Sebastian’s phone rang. They looked at each other. What now?


	49. Night Creatures

They looked at each other as they answered their phones. At least this time they were together for whatever was happening, Brodie thought.

“Hello” it was Terri

“Brodie? Sorry to wake you. Uhhh…”

“Just tell me…”

“well at least they got the right guy this time” 

“but?”

“Uh, well because everyone thinks you and Evans…”

“I’m cheating on Evans with his friend now?”

“yes”

She looked at Sebastian, he looked at her, she shrugged, he shrugged

“ok thanks for letting me know, nope, ok see you in a couple hours” Sebastian hung up

“Thanks Terri, get some sleep. See you soon” Brodie hung up

“Well, wanna look and see the pictures?” she asked him

“I guess we should” she jumped on the bed next to him and opened the browser on her phone. 

“is it bad that I’m kinda excited to see our names together?” she said he shook his head no. She put in S-E-B-A and up came the suggestions “See look, what the fuck is this? Net worth, why is that even a thing?” 

He looked closer “What is my net worth?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t want to know, I didn’t look at mine” she clicked on just his name and scrolled down to the article that started with ‘Sebastian Stan Caught with Chris Evans’ Gir…” You read it, she gave him the phone. 

“It’s just we were spotted together, in town for Comicon, dedicated song to me, oh canoodling? Really?” he said “Oh, nice picture”

“I wanna see” It was a photo of the moment he had helped her off the stage. Her hands were on his shoulders and his were on her hips and they were smiling at each other. She swiped to the next one. It was her in his arms, legs wrapped around him, kissing. “Awww, we’re so cute ‘canoodling’!” she swiped “Fuck!” The next one was of her and Chris in the same pose except she was kissing him on the cheek. “when was this?”

“Remember, that was when we went to your first show. Remember Scott made a joke about you being a Keebler Elf.”

“What? No, he didn’t!” she went back over the moment in her head “he said I was tiny and couldn’t reach anything. Then Chris said we could practice after you left”

“Oh right, he made that joke earlier, but that is when this picture was taken”

“Why did he call me a Keebler Elf?” she said insulted

“Something about, I forget, never mind, oh look, there’s another one!” and he swiped. It was picture of Chris looking sad “Aw poor guy, look at him devastated that my girlfriend never dated him so there’s no way she cheated on him with me because I am her boyfriend.” She laughed 

“I think you lost me there” she shook her head quickly “anyway, elf?” she straddled him and took the phone away from him. “you think that’s funny?” he laughed, she tickled him 

“no stop!” he said trying to grab her hands, she reached behind her and tickled his inner thigh “Stop I can’t breathe” He had the cutest laugh, she thought. She grabbed his hands and held them over his head.

“Tell me I’m tall” she demanded he just laughed harder “why is that funny?”

“I’m picturing you trying to get the thing down for the flowers” he laughed again “you couldn’t even reach the counter!” she looked at him surprised 

“What? That was low” he laughed harder at the use of ‘low’ “Fuck you!” she laughed too. She tried to act like she was mad and pushed down on his hands. He countered by intertwining their fingers and then bench pressing her up above him 

“come on tiny, you can do it, push my arms down” she pushed as hard as she could his arms didn’t move. “Did you try yet?” she sighed giving up he spread his arms out in a ‘T’ as far as hers would stretch so her face was inches from his. “kiss me tiny” she turned her head to the side. He pushed her back up and then tried again “come on little one, give me a kiss” she tucked her chin to her chest to avoid kissing him. He pushed up again

“Damn it! You are so fucking strong. My arms are going to die.” He released his hands down over his head again. She kissed him and rolled off him on to her back. He rolled on his side and put his head on her shoulder curling up beside her. 

“You ok with it?” she asked him 

“I mean, there’s not much I can do about it, you could wear heels more often I guess, carry around like a box or something.”

“God fucking damn it!” she play-smacked him on the back

“Doll, I told you before, I’m proud to be with you.” 

“Dave said it didn’t matter if I was fucking the entire cast of the Avenger’s I should just ignore it” he looked at her. “I told him for the record I was just fucking the one Avenger, but…”

“Dating, when was this?”

“right before I left for Paris, when the whole Instagram fiasco hit. JD said I was a walking disaster and then David defended me. For the first time ever.”

“hmmph” his phone signaled. “It’s Mackie, he says Chris wants him to kill me first.” He laughed   
“Oh shit, someone did get it on their phone” she thought he meant them together so she moved to see the video, but it was her singing on stage. 

“Oh, ewww!” she turned away from it and covered her ears. He held in front of her face she squeezed her eyes shut. “Stop, so embarrassing” 

“You made me watch my stuff remember?” he pulled her hand off her ear “Remember? Come on watch it, it was really amazing” she reluctantly rolled over to watch it with him. She cringed hearing her own voice, she never got used to it. “this is the good part” he was so excited, eh that wasn’t too bad she thought about the scream. 

“ok once is enough” she tried to take his phone away when he played it again. “Sebastian seriously, give me the phone” he just held out his arm so she couldn’t reach it. She laid face down and covered her head with a pillow. He bit her left ass cheek “Ouch!” she hit him with the pillow. He wrestled the pillow away from her and threw it 

“come here baby, daddy wants a kiss” she sighed 

“not until you turn that off!” he tossed the phone on to a pile of his clothes on the floor still playing the video

“oops” he grabbed her before she could try to get it “not so fast elf on the shelf”

“Do NOT call me that! That thing creeps me the fuck out!” she stopped fighting him because he was kissing her neck. He hit the spot right below her left ear lobe right above the corner of her jaw. “oh fuck” remember to thank Nina she thought.

This time it was the alarm, Sebastian mumbled “make it fucking stop” Brodie laughed at the fact that he had picked up on her morning ritual of talking to the alarm. “why do we always get such little sleep when we are together?” she asked 

“You can’t keep your hands off me doll.” He put his hand between her legs “see look I didn’t even do that, that was you”

“I’m tricky, I did that without even trying. How much time do we have?” she asked as she got on top of him and maneuvered his dick inside her. 

“not enough, but don’t stop.”

The room had become a hive of activity, stylist, publicist, manager, assistant. Brodie sat quietly in the corner of the room observing the process. Terri showed up with Starbucks. 

“I love you” Brodie said seriously “I’m gonna leave him for you” Terri laughed 

“Whoa, this is like a whole new level of extra” Terri said in awe

“Yeah, too bad you missed the good old days when David thought he was John Lennon or some shit. Picture 4 sets of this plus the handlers who made sure each one of us was vertical for show time. The hangers-on, Dave’s ‘friends’, it was some epic rock star shit. At least this is organized and healthy.”

“I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad that I missed it.”

“Depends if you like lots of substances and continual weird sex scenarios or not.” Terri shook her head no with wide eyes.

“Which one is the assistant?” Brodie pointed “I’m going to go say hi, we’ve talked and texted but never met.”

Brodie got up to get her phone when she came back Sebastian was sitting where she had been, holding her Starbucks. “What are you doing? Put that down, that’s mine” she grabbed for it, he pulled it away. “Dude! This is not a game” he put the straw to his mouth “Ok, ok,” she held her hands out “let’s just calm down, you don’t want to do this” he took a sip her jaw dropped open “Did you just drink my coffee?” he dramatically swallowed and said “mmmmmm” “You bastard!” she whispered she looked around “You are so lucky there are witnesses or you would be so dead!” He smiled got up and walked away with her drink tipping the straw to her as he winked. 

She called Nina. “Dude he took my coffee, like he didn’t even say a word he just like took it”

“B, how many ways has that man violated you in the past 24 hours? Taking your coffee is the least of his crimes” 

“No Nina it’s the WORST and only crime. When are you getting here?”

“Soon.”

“what’s up Nina?” she heard something in the way she said ‘soon’

“Thomas left this morning”

“Oh shit, are you ok? Why did he leave?”

“I’m fine, we’re fine, he just needed to go take care of some business. I know how you feel now”

“That sucks Nina, do you need me to come there?”

“No. I want to go there, too much of him here”

“Totally get it! Come here we can plot how to kill Sebastian and you can take out all your anger.”

“Thanks, love. You don’t have to ask I’ll get the Starbucks on the way”

“I love you, dude!”

“I love you too”

She looked up and Sebastian was standing over her. He handed her the empty, except for the ice, cup. 

“Who was that?” he asked. 

She realized she called Nina ‘dude’ so she said “That Uber dude, he promises not to drink my coffee soooo…” she shrugged

“Doll, I have a really full schedule today, now I have to try to fit in killing an Uber driver?”

She laughed “It was Nina, she’s bringing me more coffee so I don’t murder YOU” he leaned down to kiss her 

“Sorry baby, I will make it up to you I promise. I love you.”

“I love you too, more than I realized because you’re not dead, yet” 

“I’m a lucky man, I stole Evans’ hot girlfriend, now she’s letting me drink her coffee” he leaned into her ear “She calls me daddy and she loves me” he kissed her cheek, one of the team called him back. 

“Fuck, I’m the lucky one” she said to herself

Nina arrived with coffee, she even had one for Sebastian. She handed it to him and said “Seb next time call me, I’ll get you one. It’s much easier than calming her down and cleaning up the crime scene when she kills you.” He kissed her on the cheek “Did anyone get a picture? I want to be stolen by Captain America in revenge”

Sebastian was fully prepped and ready to go. Brodie looked at the time, it wasn’t even 9am. She leaned over to Nina “I’m pretty sure this is my bedtime most days, and these guys have already done a day’s worth of crap. I would never make it as an actor” 

“Me either, you and I are night creatures” they high fived and bumped tits and realized the room was looking at them. “secret handshake” Nina explained.

They all started to move out of the room Brodie tried to find Sebastian. “ok well goodbye then, see you later, love you” she said to the closing door. 

“Brodie” she turned towards the bedroom he was standing in the doorway he crooked his finger signaling her to come to him.

“Oh. I thought you…” she pointed to the door. She jumped up and went to him. “Hey” When she got to him she could see he was anxious. “Hey, come here, you’re good” she hugged him “Breathe, just in and out” she rubbed his back “there you go, sweetheart” she pulled back and looked him in the face “You want me to strip naked and distract everyone? Oh, wait its underwear, right?” he laughed 

“yeah, I still can’t picture it can you demonstrate?” 

“Can you picture me under you?” he closed his eyes 

“Yep, and on top, and sideways” 

“Ok, ok, you’re good” he took a deep breath. She put his face in her hands “You are amazing, I love you daddy, I will be here when you get back, ok?” 

“OK” he was ready. She kissed him on the tip of his nose and smacked him on the butt as he walked towards the door. 

“Love you” he called out

“Love you too” called out Nina, Terri and Brodie together.


	50. Brodie Should Know

Now that the room had settled down, Brodie and Nina started working on the encore for the nights show. She wanted to be there for Sebastian when they made the big announcement of The Falcon and Winter Soldier show which meant she would miss soundcheck, but Nina would fill in. They agreed on Sinéad O'Connor, but Nina thought maybe they should do ‘nothing compares 2 U’ and Brodie was firm on ‘I want your (hands on me)’.

“Why don’t you guys just do both” suggested Terri. They both looked at her

“Actually, that might work. How about you do nothing compares, I’ll play the piano you sing it. Then I’ll do hands you play guitar” Brodie had a thought then shook her head no

“What? What was that about?” Nina caught the smile

“Uh, I just had a thought, but, never mind”

“Spill it, B.” 

“Ok so last night I was flirting with the Uber Driver to make Sebastian mad”

“Did daddy punish you?” Brodie turned red and rubbed her eyes with her hands. “That’s a yes” Nina said laughing, Terri nodded in agreement

“ANYWAY…”  
“Details please!”

“No stop, it’s personal” Brodie tried to stop herself from blushing but it just made it worse. Nina and Terri were amused that she was so uncomfortable.

“It must be something good because she is never embarrassed” Nina told Terri

“So, he’s your daddy, huh?” Terri asked. Brodie covered her face with her hands “was it spanking?”

“No had to be better than that, hmmmmm, bondage?” Nina countered

“Stop!” Brodie said as she tried to compose herself “Guys seriously, we have to figure this out”

“We’re trying, give us a hint. Anal?” suggested Nina 

“Oh! Oh! What’s that called the…” Terri tried to think of the word and made a fist and held it up

“fisting!” Nina reminded her. Brodie commanded her face not to react, but she could never control her expressions especially when she was the center of attention. “Holy shit! That’s was it!”

“Fuck you guys, I’m done with you both. Get out of my room. Terri you’re fired” Nina and Terri were laughing hysterically. “Can we get back to work now?”

“well you guys can, I’m fired” Terri said still laughing. Brodie’s phone rang. 

“Oh, thank god, It’s Evans. I gotta take it”

“Hello Cap” she said getting up and going into the other room to get away from them

“Don’t hello me you cheating bitch” she laughed

“Sorry Captain cuckold, he’s just too adorable” 

“Yeah, I get it. He is a pretty adorable chubby dumpling”

“He’s a what?”

“Chubby dumpling, oh come on you gotta look that up on the internet”

“I will. How are you doing?”

“Me? I’m devastated, my friend steals my girl at Comicon? Brutal”

“Aw, I’m sure you’ll bounce back”

“Well, it was fun while it lasted baby. Anytime you need a fake boyfriend call me we can go make out somewhere.”

“Fake make out, if we really make out we’re doing it in private.” 

“If we really made out in public they would say we were just friends.” They both laughed “Dodger says hi.”

“Awww! I get visitation in the break up right?”

“Yes of course, tell Seb to call me when he gets a chance, I want to make him feel bad for stealing my girl!”

“Ok I will. Hey could you give Scott my number?”

“sure” 

“Thank you, I need to ask him about something.”

“You’re gonna ask him to help you win me back, right?”

“Goodbye Chris”

“Goodbye Brodie” and then he whispered “forever” she laughed

She went back to the other room “Chris and I fake broke up from our fake relationship. I’m fake devastated.”

“Awww, you need a fake rebound, love?” Nina opened her arms Brodie jumped into them. 

“Hey Terri, Chris said to look up chunky dumpling?”

“Chubby dumpling. Here” she reached for Brodie’s phone “there you go.”

B- How’s it going chubby dumpling?  
S- fucking internet!  
B- What? That came from Evans! I just watched it on the internet to confirm  
S- Great now my kill list is Uber dude and Evans, I told you I was busy today.  
B- Hahaha. He said to call him when you get a chance.  
S- ok thanks Doll. When are you coming here?  
B- uh soon if I can get Nina to focus. You ok?  
S- yeah, but I’d be better if my girl was here.  
B- I will be there as soon as I can, go kick some ass  
S- You know it!

“Sorry B, tell me what your idea was” Nina tried to sound sincere

“No.” Nina hugged her and kissed her on the cheek “Get away from me.” Terri hugged her from the other side after Nina motioned for her to. “I swear if either of you says anything to Sebastian I will kill you both!” 

“I won’t tell daddy a thing” Nina promised

“NO! Only I get to call him that.” Brodie said seriously

“Sorry, I forgot” Nina knew she was deadly serious “Terri only Brodie gets to call him that ok?”

“I get it, I promise” Terri said understanding it was extremely important to Brodie by her tone. Nina told herself to talk to Terri about the whole David/Theresa thing. She liked Terri a lot, she should know what to avoid.

“Come on Brodie tell us your idea, I promise I won’t tease you anymore” 

“I was thinking if flirting with one dude…” she couldn’t finish it now “…never mind”

“No, no! I get it you want to go old school Brodie”

“Yeah, kinda. Not that far because like I’m old now and to be that drunk I’d have had to start drinking last week, but yeah”

“Can I ask what ‘old school Brodie’ is?” Terri asked carefully

“Oh man, she used to do these shows that were like…porn” Nina said wistfully

“Uh, I seem to remember someone else that would strip to their underwear on stage”

“I was way more fearless and things were firmer back then”

“Yeah, no shit!” Brodie said pointing to her chest “Sebastian has this picture of me from like 100 years ago and the girls are just at attention, I miss them” 

“Question is does he miss them?” Nina pointed to her chest

“He says no, that they are better now because they are his” she shrugged

“Oh, come on! It’s not fair that he’s that pretty and also says shit like that!” Nina whined “Does he have a flaw? Tell me he has a flaw! I need to know he has a flaw!” she was shaking Brodie by the shoulders

“I can’t think of one! Stop!” 

“Ugh! I knew it! If it was anyone else I would be super jealous but every other guy you have ever dated has been a total piece of shit, so I’m happy for you” she sighed “I hate you, but I’m happy for you”

She had finished planning, Nina left and she got ready to go over to Comicon. The schedule was tight so she had to be ready to go straight from the Convention center to the venue. Nina had taken her stuff so she didn’t have to worry about that. She had Terri message wardrobe to let them know which outfit she wanted and to tell them to let make up know the arm needed to be covered tonight. She texted Sebastian and let him know she was on her way over and she would walk around the main floor until he was free to meet with her. 

Comicon was in full swing, Brodie and Terri felt lucky they had VIP passes because the line to get in was insane. She felt a pang of sadness missing Duncan. She knew he would be so excited to be here. They had gone before and always had a great time. She had a second of wanting to call him and say she was sorry, he was right, she was the problem and always would be. She shook it off. Not today, she told herself. Walking around, she saw a toddler dressed like Captain America in a stroller. It made her wonder if she would ever get to know her nephew. 

“Hey Brodie, look it’s the Winter Soldier” Terri pointed to a cosplayer.

“Cool, that’s a good one! Think I can get a picture with him?”

“Yeah, sure give me your phone I’ll take it” Brodie asked for a picture and the guy agreed happily she told him his costume was really good and he thanked her. He stopped for a second like he was trying to place who she was, Brodie quickly said thanks and walked away. 

She had fun going to all the booths, buying different items that caught her eye. Terri had a credit card in her name, Brodie had set up, that she used to pay for everything so Brodie didn’t have to announce her name. Terri was having fun making the purchases and Brodie kept telling her to pick out something for herself too. She really liked Brodie, she was a great boss. Nina had told her the story of her assistant that had slept with her ex-husband while Brodie was getting dressed, Terri couldn’t believe anyone would do that to such a nice person. She felt honored that Brodie and Nina had included her in their private conversations and she would do anything to keep their trust. She knew she had to tell her about JD and what he had asked her to do. She had told him flat out that she would not do that, but Brodie should know. 

“Terri?” Brodie was trying to get her attention

“Huh? Sorry. What?” 

“I said Sebastian just texted me to go meet him, so we need to go upstairs. You ok?”

“Yeah, sorry I was just thinking about something” Brodie grabbed her hand so they wouldn’t get separated in the crowd and led her to the escalators. They showed their passes to security and they were allowed to get on the escalator that led to the VIP section. “this is so cool” Terri whispered 

“I know right?” Brodie whispered, just as excited. “Sebastian said he would meet us at the entrance. The entrance of what, I don’t know” When they got to the top she asked the security guard there, he pointed to a hallway with more security. As they got closer she saw Sebastian waiting.

“Hey Doll” he hugged her and gave her a quick kiss “hey, Terri” she waved to him.

“This is so cool!” Brodie told him

“This is the hallway, wait until you go into the room” he said “What did you buy?” he took some of the bags from her and then grabbed her hand.

“Oh my god, so much stuff. I got a winter soldier shirt and I got a Bucky Pop and the Captian America figure from Endgame and…”

“the comics” Terri reminded her

“Oh yeah a bunch of comics. Dude! I got a picture with the Winter Soldier” he looked at her confused. She showed him the picture on her phone and he laughed

“Oh, ok. I had no idea what you meant. That’s pretty good!”

“I know right? He even got the smudgy eyeliner thing right.”

“It’s not eyeliner, It’s camouflage war paint”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that tati, but every one who has ever rubbed their eyes forgetting they have eyeliner on knows what it really is”

They walked into a large conference type room full of tables and chairs. “Holy shit is that Loki?” she whispered to Sebastian. She looked at Terri who was nodding yes eyes wide. Sebastian walked up to him

“Tom, this is Brodie” Tom Hiddleston smiled at her and offered his hand she put hers in his and they shook but didn’t let go. He took a step closer to her.

“Brodie I am a big fan. I am so glad to meet you” He said in his British accent. Brodie smiled back at him.

“Thank you, I am a big fan of yours.” He finally let go of her hand. She put her arm around Sebastian’s waist. He was cute and he had a British accent, but he was no Sebastian, now if he had an Irish accent, maybe she thought, nah, Romanian was way hotter. 

“Uh, Tom this is Terri” he turned his attention to her and held out his hand to Terri 

“nice to meet you” he said as she put her shaking hand into his

“Hi” she said quietly he kissed her hand. Terri smiled widely. 

“Oh, he’s charming, almost as charming as you” Brodie said to Sebastian “you did that way smoother when we met, though.”

“Yeah?” he pulled her closer.

“Way smoother, then when you started molesting my arm I stopped breathing so I wouldn’t move and make you stop.” She whispered in his ear.

“Damn I wish I would have known that!” he kissed her cheek “and I wasn’t ‘molesting’ your arm, I was caressing it.”

“Call it what you want, it definitely got my attention” 

“Good, that’s what I was going for”

“Clearly it worked. Listen I want to make sure I get to tell you, the song I’m singing in the encore tonight is for you. Not the one Nina is gonna sing, the one I do, ok?”

“Really? What song is it?”

“Nope, it’s a surprise. You have to wait” she kissed him lightly on the mouth

“Aw, come on you two! Do I have to get a hose to separate you again?”

“Go away Anthony, I’ve had enough of you today. I want to spend time with someone who’s nice to me”

“Hey Bro-bro how you doing today?” he kissed her cheek

“Bro-bro? What the fuck?” she scrunched up her face

“He wanted to call us BroSeb” Brodie tried hard not to laugh, but couldn’t help it

“Like Broseph?” she asked

“Exactly!” he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her away from Sebastian “See you get it” 

“I don’t like Bro-bro. But I think you missed the opportunity with our last names Stan and Lee?”

“Yeah, I tried that but Seb said I’m not allowed to use your last name because he doesn’t like it”

“Because its my ex-husband’s” she explained “I don’t really understand what the problem is, but, ok”

“Think about it, that man is in love with you, he doesn’t want another man’s name on you”

“Wow, very enlightened thinking there. I’m not a fucking piece of property”

“Of course not, I’m just saying, your ex is an asshole, right?”

“No, it’s fuckface, his title is fuckface”

“Ok fuckface didn’t treat you very well, why do you want to give him the honor of carrying his name?”

“it’s just easier for legal stuff and I don’t know I couldn’t wait to get rid of the family name.”

“See people think that women should take the man’s name from tradition or whatever, but guys need to understand it’s an honor that a woman would carry their name. He didn’t honor you, why are you honoring him?”

“god damn it, Mackie.” She hugged him “that was really profound.”


	51. On The Other Side

Brodie was so fucking proud watching Sebastian and Anthony on stage. She was also super fucking excited for the show they were going to do together. She was as happy as anyone else in the crowd. Sebastian didn’t want her to go out in the audience, he said he thought it would be better for her to stay backstage especially since she had to leave for her show at the right time. She reluctantly agreed but had to admit looking out at the packed room he was right. He came down the stage stairs and grabbed her around the waist and picked her up. 

“How was it?” he asked

“Are you kidding me? It was amazing!” she kissed him “you’re Bucky Barnes!”

“Um, yes, I am” 

“but you’re like my boyfriend, too” he laughed and put her down 

“Did you hit your head while I was out there?”

“Maybe, but dude! I don’t know why it’s hitting me all of a sudden. I am in total fangirl mode! I can’t wait for the show to be on!” Mackie was standing next to them with the shield. “Dude! Can I touch it?” He handed it to her “Holy shit! I have the shield, I am Captain America” She held it up, “Sebastian take a picture. Well, ok see you guys later, I gotta go now” she said attempting to walk away with it.

“Nope!” Mackie took it back “good try Bro-bro”

“Seriously, I REALLY don’t like Bro-bro. Think of something else, please”

“How long before you have to leave Doll?” she looked at her watch 

“Uh, like 10-15 minutes” She calculated “I need a little extra time to get the arm covered but I’m gonna eat on the way and hopefully traffic won’t be too bad but it probably will be”

“why are you covering the arm? Because of the new part?”

“No, because of the outfit I want to wear. It’s hot and it’s an outdoor venue halfway through I’m going to be stripping from heat exhaustion. Plus, you know, I invited this really hot guy so the less I have on the better chance of catching his attention.”

“You always have my full attention, don’t worry. Why don’t you just show it off” he lifted her sleeve and started caressing it. 

“I’m not ready to yet. Stop it! I know what you’re doing!” she tried to pull away “damn it, Sebastian!” he wrapped his arms around her placing his hands on her lower back and kissed her.

Terri came to get her “Uh, sorry Brodie, but we should be going” they didn’t respond. She looked helplessly at Mackie.

“That’s not gonna work. You have to be more like this.” Mackie got right next to them and yelled “HEY! It’s time to GO!” they reluctantly separated “See, try that next time”

“Thank you, I will” Terri said laughing

“Ok, I’ll see you when you get there.” Brodie gave Sebastian a quick kiss “you coming to the show Mackie?”

“Wouldn’t miss it Bro-bro” she shook her head and sighed “you’re gonna love it someday”

“You know, I’m really not.”

“Oh hey Doll, Tom was interested in coming, is that ok?”

“Yeah, sure. Whoever you want to bring, right Terri?” Terri nodded yes.

“Thanks” he leaned in and kissed her, she started to put her arms around his neck.

“You better stop that right now or you’ll never get her to leave” Mackie told Terri

“Ok, ok. That’s enough! Come on Brodie you can kiss him all you want after the show. Move it!” she grabbed her wrist and pulled her away from Sebastian.  
“See ya, doll” he called after her

“See ya later” she winked at him.

They got to the venue before Nina and her band went on, which meant Brodie had a few extra minutes to talk with her about how sound check went.

“Your ex is in a foul mood, so watch out. Sound is good, but, the tech set up the piano because Dave was having a meltdown.”

“What is the problem? Did you find out?”

“Hell no, I’m not like you. He can go fuck right off.”

“Yes, him and Captain America” 

“Exactly!” She pointed at Brodie “alright, you ready for the encore?”

“I hope so. I didn’t really get to practice any of it, so it’s gonna be on the fly, but hey, sometimes that’s better”

“that’s what lazy people like me always say anyway!” they high fived, bumped tits and Nina grabbed her face a kissed her hard on the mouth “see ya on the other side”

“Go get ‘em” Brodie went to get ready. It was her turn to be fussed over by a team. They were having a hard time deciding if the new part of the tattoo should be covered in make-up. Brodie decided to just put some tape on that part. She left the plastic bandage on it and took some tape from the crew that was an inch and a half wide and black. She wrapped it around her arm. Looks kinda like Freddie’s arm band, she thought. When was the last time I was so stressed out I had to sing Bohemian Rhapsody? She figured it was the plane ride to Paris? Hmmm, that was weird.

She could hear Nina’s set. She was always amazed at how fucking good she was. She just got better every time. She was really excited to work with her on the project they had talked about. Plus, she had written a new song about Sebastian that he didn’t know about. She planned on playing it for him on his birthday and she had worked out playing it the next night with Joan Jett and Nina at Joan’s show in Virginia. She had called Joan and played it for her and she had said it was one of the best songs she had ever heard. Brodie knew she was just being kind but it still made her smile when she thought about it. 

She had Terri get Charles’ number from Sebastian’s assistant and she called him the other day to tell him the plan and make sure there weren’t any plans already in place that would conflict. They ended up talking for a long time, and she felt that maybe he was warming up to her, she hoped anyway. She invited him to come to Virginia with them and he had accepted, so at least he was willing to go on a small adventure with her for Sebastian.

Nina was finished she could hear the crowd cheering for her. That meant she had about 30 minutes for the stage to change over. She checked her phone. She had missed a text from Sebastian that he was on his way. She smiled at the phone, it was so amazing that he was actually going to be there for a show. She went over to the big room where they would wait together for show time. 

“Hey guys, how’s things?

“Hey Brodie! How was the con?” Jeremy came and gave her a hug

“It was good, I got a bunch of stuff and Sebastian’s panel was amazing. The show he’s going to do sounds really good.” 

“Cool! He’s gonna be here tonight?”

“yes, he’s on his way”

Nina came in and collapsed on one of the couches with a towel over her face

“Hey! It sounded great! How’s the crowd?”

“Good, they are into it. You’ll like them. I need a drink”

“Hmmmph” David rolled his eyes. 

“What’s up David?” she went over and sat across from him.

“It’s just personal shit, I don’t want to talk about it right now”

“ok well you gonna be Mr. grumpy gills all night?” she used the name from Finding Nemo it was one of Steph’s favorites. He shrugged

“Look who I found wandering the halls” Malcolm hugged Brodie he was with Sebastian. She hugged them both careful not to get any make-up on them. 

“So, that Joplin cover is all over the place, huh?” Malcolm said excited

“What? It is? Nina did you know?” Nina shook her head no. “did you?” She looked at Sebastian

“No, I’ve been too busy today to notice” he got out his phone to look for it

“5 minutes!” the tour manager yelled into the room.

She took a deep breath and started to walk towards the door, Sebastian grabbed her arm. “Doll, come here” he pulled her into his arms “I’m proud of you. Go kick some ass”

“I love you, daddy” she kissed him 

“I love you too, baby doll”

“That was sweet. Now go be old school Brodie” Nina ordered

She grabbed Sebastian’s hand and walked out towards the stage. She kissed him one more time “get out there the show’s about to start”

“Come on Seb, I’ll go out with you” Nina grabbed his hand and led him out

“Well, let’s fucking get it over with!” She grabbed her guitar kissed Dave on the cheek and said “try to keep up, fuckface” he laughed, shook his head and said “Try not to be a total whore tonight”. It was how they used to start the show years ago when they were barely speaking. It somehow broke the ice, they smiled at each other and walked on stage. 

The lights went out in the venue just as Nina and Sebastian joined Mackie and Tom Hiddleston. 

“Is that Loki?” Nina asked Sebastian yelling in his ear over the crowd. 

“Yes” He was trying to pay attention to the stage

“Holy Shit!” she elbowed him “SEB!”  


“Tom, this is Nina” he yelled and let them sort it out

The beginning was different then when he had seen them in May. They started playing before the lights came up. Then Brodie’s voice, fuck it gave him chills. The song built and the lights came on. They sounded even better than he remembered and she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Anthony grabbed his shoulder and leaned in “How the hell does she change like that?” he shook his head and said “I don’t know”. 

After a few songs in a row with no breaks between, Brodie went to the drum riser and took a long drink. Nina said “time for me to go change. I’ll see you later handsome” she winked at Tom as she slipped out of the crowd to go backstage. “What?” Tom said when Sebastian and Mackie looked at him. Brodie handed her guitar to someone and took off the shirt she was wearing to reveal a tank top underneath, it was weird now to see her arm bare, the band around it looked good he thought. 

“How’s everyone feeling tonight?” Brodie said in the microphone “Alright, I hear you San Diego! Wow you guys are loud tonight!” She looked back at Jeremy who was saying something and laughed throwing her head back. Sebastian’s heart melted. “ok we’re gonna do a little song called ‘Bound’” and she nodded to Jeremy he counted it down and they started to play. The large screen behind them came to life with the music video, but it was edited to go with the live version. There were a few more scenes added that showed a lot more skin. He was going to have to ask for a copy of this version, wow!  


She was nonstop movement and he could see how she ended up with so many bruises. Part way through she had gone backstage as Dave played a solo and came back in mid-thigh shorts and knee-high boots both black, with a blood red bustier that pretty much just covered the minimum. 

“That’s a little too skimpy for my Bro-bro” Anthony said to him like a protective older brother.

“I like it” chimed in Tom “It must be very hot up there”

“Well it is now” Sebastian said

They played for about another hour the last song of the main set was fast and they played hard, Brodie’s guitar was a light pale blue and Sebastian could see the blood splatter on it after she had lost her pick but didn’t stop to grab another one. She probably just tore off another nail he thought. They finished the song and left the stage to prepare for the last few songs. 

“Do you want to go back there now?” Mackie asked

“No, she told me the pay attention to the song she was going to do in the encore, so we should stay” Sebastian answered

“The encore is always the best part” Tom agreed

When they came back out it was just Brodie and Nina. Brodie had changed into very short, very tight, black shorts, a see-through white button up shirt over a black corset that she had to tape her breasts in with double sided tape so one wouldn’t make a surprise appearance. She had on black velvet super high heels with ankle straps and Sebastian was sure he was going to talk her into keeping those on tonight. She sat at the piano while Nina came to the front center. 

“Everybody, say hello to my best girlfriend Jennine” Brodie said, Nina curtsied to the crowd. She was also in very high heels a deep purple color, with black leather skin tight pants and a low cut tight black shirt that was also double side taped so the most cleavage was visible. 

“So, we agreed on who we were going to do” 

“I think you mean cover Brodie” 

“Yeah, cover. No, honor?” 

“Just say cover” they bantered back and forth

“Anyway, we agreed on Sinéad O'Connor” The crowd went crazy “Sinéad doesn’t get the credit she deserves because, well frankly, she was weird and bald and refused to play nice. Then she dared to speak out against the Catholic Church on SNL. They called her crazy and she got booed but she was fucking right as we all know way too well now.” Brodie nodded to Nina

“She stood up for child victims of sexual assault and refused to back down, for those of us that are survivors, she will always be a hero” Nina added

“So the choice of artist was easy, but we both wanted different songs, so a very smart person told us to do both.” 

“it was me” Nina said raising her hand

“it was NOT Jennine, but she did pick this song” Brodie nodded to her to go when she was ready

Nina started out acapella “it’s been seven hours and fifteen days, since you took your love away” the place was almost silent listening. Brodie waited until the line “I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant” before starting to play. Nina killed it. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. Brodie waited to move until the crowd had cheered for a long time, then she went and hugged Nina and said in her ear “Dude! That was the best fucking performance! I almost had the Sinéad tear going!” she made Nina face the crowd again 

“Ok she might have been right on that song” Brodie said bowing to her “I don’t want to do mine now that was too good” 

Jeremy came out and got behind the kit “Too late the boys are here” Dave came out and brought Nina her guitar. Brodie suddenly felt very exposed with no guitar to hide behind. Nina came up and said “Old school Brodie” in her ear.  
Jeremy hit the drums at full tempo and she sang “I want your hands on me” and started to unbutton her shirt “what I want, give me” more buttons “You know I wanna please you” the last two buttons “what I wanna do to you” she pulled it off her shoulders “you don’t waste no time do you you?” she dropped it to her wrists “you know I’m looking through you” she took it off “why you wanna tease me” she held it up over her head “I want you to come please me” and threw it into the crowd. Mackie and Tom both looked at Sebastian who was intensely staring at Brodie, they looked at each other and Tom mouthed “Fuck” and Mackie mouthed “I know” 

She was singing “Put ‘em on, put ‘em on, put ‘em on me” and she was putting her hands on a different part of her body with each beat and ended turned around with her hands on her lower back. Singing the next verse, she walked to the very edge of the stage where those in the front could actually put their hands on her from the knees down. She stood strong legs apart keeping her elbows bent and arms high a trick she learned to not get pulled forward. She took a step back so only a few could reach and she sat back on her heels knees wide she reached out her right hand to touch the crowd then switched hands. She got up and walked to the right side and then all the way across to the left keeping at the edge so the front could actually still touch her as she went past. She stopped in the section where Nina told her Sebastian was. She couldn’t see individual faces because the lights were too bright towards her but she could feel his stare. She did the move that Nina called “showing the girls” where she placed her feet hip width apart pulled her knees together bent forward at the waist shaking her shoulders. It looked like you could see straight down the top of her corset. Sebastian covered Mackie and Tom’s eyes they both swatted his hand away. She went back to the center and put her back against Nina’s and finished the song there. 

“Whew, I need a cold shower” Nina joked with the crowd. Brodie hugged her from behind and kissed her cheek. They played their usual last song and Nina stayed out with them which meant Brodie stayed without her guitar. She was actually having fun with the freedom of movement and did all the best moves she had learned from a stripper ‘friend’ of hers. When they were done and went backstage Dave said “Way to whore it up B” and she said “way to fall behind fuckface” and they hugged. 

Nina hugged her from behind “Let’s just keep old school Brodie going” 

“Can’t” Brodie said, walking away

“come on, I bet Seb would go for a three way after that” 

“Nope, all mine!” she said

“Stingy!”

Brodie wanted to get to her dressing room so badly, the corset was digging into her left ribcage. She was almost there when she heard him say “nice show doll” she turned around he was doing that thing where he ran his tongue along his bottom lip and then bit it. She walked over to him putting her arms around his neck and jumping up to wrap her legs around him. He grabbed her ass on either side and pulled her close.  
“which one?” he asked she pointed “wait. which one?”

“walk” he did “stop” she said in front of her door. He fumbled for the doorknob as she started to bite his neck then pulling his ear lobe with her teeth. He opened the door and quickly scanned for people, it was clear. He turned and pushed her up against the door to close it and keep it closed. “daddy please take this corset off me it’s killing my ribs.” He looked down at it “Zipper on the side” he felt for it when he found it he slowly pulled it down to open it. She groaned with the release of her ribcage. 

“Stand up baby” she put her legs down. He looked at her torso, there were already bruises forming on her sides from just below her underarms to her waist, spanning from the bottom point of her shoulder blades to around her stomach. “Doll, this must hurt.” He kneeled down and inspected it closer.

“It’s better now that I’m free of that thing” she took in a sharp breath when he touched the left side that had been hurting her. “it has to be tight so it doesn’t move too much”

“how often do you wear it?”

“Not until the bruises heal” she laughed “ow” 

There was a knock on the door “it’s Terri, I have ice, my eyes are closed” She looked at Sebastian and he signaled to let her in.  
“you’re good Terri the only one exposed is me and nothing you haven’t seen already” She stood straighter and moved to the couch so Terri could come in. 

Terri brought her a towel Brodie stuck one end under each arm to hold it. She leaded against the couch back and put her hands on her head. Terri carefully put the ice packs on the towel in the exact spots the bruises were. 

“This happens a lot I guess” Sebastian said concerned

“Well, it’s a lot better than it was when she was wearing it for most of the show. Wardrobe will only let her wear it for encore every other show now.” Brodie was trying to signal her with her face to shut up. Sebastian sat next to her on the couch.

“Brodie” he said carefully “I really don’t want you to wear that anymore. I know I can’t tell you what to do and I don’t know how this all works, but baby, look at your ribs.” He scooted closer facing her side her looked at her arm “Is that tape?” she looked at it and nodded “Why?”

“they didn’t want to put make-up on the new part because it’s too new. I left the plastic bandage on it.” He gently took her elbow so he wouldn’t move the ice packs and fond the edge of the tape. He carefully peeled it a little “just rip it off quick” she said he ignored her and carefully removed it. He even saved the plastic bandage from coming off. “If you’re going to be tape removal you’ve got a lot more to go” she showed him the double-sided tape around the legs of her shorts and the waistband and the marks from the tape on her breasts “oh and these things” she picked at the round stickers covering her nipples. “we don’t want a Janet Jackson Super Bowl incident” she joked.

“That’s how that tiny red bra stayed on?”

She laughed “owww, yes, it is. Were you worried?”

“I was having anxiety over it. I had no idea you were covered, literally” he reached out and peeled the circle off her left breast. Terri cleared her throat 

“I’m sorry, Brodie it’s 15” Brodie nodded then leaned over and gave Sebastian a kiss on the cheek. She took a breath and sat up.

“What is 15?” Sebastian asked

“It’s been 15 minutes since the show ended, time for a quick shower and then the gauntlet” Brodie said getting up she straightened, sighed and pulled her shoulders back. “Did I put the scrubby stuff in there?” Terri nodded yes “I’ll be right back” she said to Sebastian and walked completely normal to the little bathroom.

“Alright, what are the gauntlet and scrubby stuff?” 

“The gauntlet is like all the VIPs that want to meet the band, radio people, record execs, and contest winners, the people who got a back stage pass somehow. They get 15 minutes to themselves after the show to catch their breath and then another 10 to shower and change. There’s a 5-minute meeting to get a brief of who’s who and who they are expected to give access to themselves. The scrubby stuff is what she calls the pumice that takes off the make up on her arm, she has to scrub the crap out of her skin to take it off. Most of the time she uses these stretchy flesh colored band things under her sleeve but if she’s doing the bare arms she does the make-up” Terri realized she had been talking to Sebastian Stan for a long amount of time without stopping “sorry, I’m rambling”

“No, thank you for explaining it to me. It’s so different than when I went to the one in May”

“yeah, that was like a soft open you know?” he nodded “The road is totally different. You’ll see. You’re coming with us to San Fran tomorrow, right?”

“yeah”

“you get to ride the tour bus, always a fun time” she rolled her eyes

“I’m gonna go check on her” he got up, went to the bathroom door and knocked. “it’s Seb” 

“come in” she was in the little shower rubbing her shoulder “is my time up?”

“Uh, I don’t know I was just checking on you, you need help with that?” he didn’t wait for her to answer he took her arm in his hand and started to scrub in a circle like she had been doing. “Baby, you want me to sneak you out of here? Hm?”

She smiled “No, I have to do this, it’s part of the job. The part that when you’re dreaming about being an actual well know musician you don’t know is like 99% of the job. I’ll be fine, really.”

“How’s that?” she looked at her arm and nodded smiling

“That’s 5 Brodie” Terri yelled she made sure she rinsed and turned off the water. She got out wrapped the towel around herself and went out to the main room. Terri had laid out her outfit she wanted to wear, she dried off got dressed blow dried her hair and put make-up on and was putting the shoes Sebastian liked on when the tour manager knocked “It’s time Brodie” she got up 

“I’ll be back in 5 ok?” she kissed his cheek and left a dark red lip print. “sorry” he waved her off 

“Are you insane? This, stays!” he said protecting it with his cupped hand. “go!”

“Sebastian, can I talk to you about something?” Terri asked as soon as Brodie left


	52. But It’s Mine

Brodie came back to the room to get Sebastian and give him the option of going to the after party while she dealt with a radio interview. “Where is he?” she asked Terri

“Oh uh, he got a phone call and uh, went outside” Brodie sensed Terri was off in some way.

“Outside? Why?” Terri shrugged “ok, well I have to go meet with the guy from 91X can you just take him to the after party and I’ll meet him there?”

“Sure, then I’ll get all this to wardrobe and I’ll come find you” Something was up, Brodie was sure of it.

She went to find the press room. Whatever was going on would have to wait. She touched the orchid necklace Sebastian had given her. Not all surprises were bad she reminded herself. She hadn’t taken it off since he placed it on her neck. She often touched it or held in between her fingers, it made her feel close to him when he wasn’t with her. Still, her radar for trouble was pinging. It wasn’t Sebastian, she trusted him more than she had ever trusted anyone, even Robert or Nina, even Duncan. She couldn’t explain it, she just did. He said they were meant to be, she wasn’t sure about that, but she knew they definitely fit. 

It was almost two hours later that she finally got to the after party, it was in full swing when she arrived. Terri had come to find her as promised. She said that Sebastian was with Mackie and Nina and Loki which made her laugh. “I think in real life his name is Tom” Brodie teased her. She scanned the room looking for one of them. 

“want me to get you a drink?” Terri offered

“No not yet.” She didn’t see any of the four, but she saw Jeremy and his wife Lydia. She went over to them “Hi” she greeted them both “I just got here, have you seen Nina or Sebastian?”

“I just got here too” Jeremy said “How many VIP’s are in San Diego? I thought I would never finish the gauntlet.”

“No shit, I had to do the radio piece too” Brodie agreed

“That’s because the rest of us got to do it earlier after sound check while you were having fun at Comicon”

“That’s fair” she agreed again

“Bro-bro!” Mackie came out of the crowd “Where have you been? Seb is over in the corner pouting” She introduced Mackie to Jeremy and Lydia and then followed him through the mass of people to a horseshoe shaped booth near the back of the dance floor. “Look who I found! You can stop pouting now, your girl’s here!” Sebastian looked up and spread his arms wide his face lit up mouth and eyes open wide. 

“HEY! It’s my girlfriend Bro-bro” he was clearly, extremely drunk. He waved his hands for her to come closer “I missed you, come here!” She slid in next to him and he threw his arms around her neck. “you need to stay here and not leave me!” he said his face right in her face. He put his forehead down on hers a little too hard and then attempted to focus one of his eyes on hers by lifting one eyebrow than the other and back again. 

“How much have you had to drink sweetheart?” Brodie asked amused

“Awww, you called me sweetheart” he kissed her sloppily and then pulled her close resting his chin on her shoulder. Oh boy, she thought, I hope he’s not a puker when he’s wasted. She could handle anything but puke. She could taste the vodka on her lips from his kiss. 

“Sebastian, you’re cut off. I think you’ve had enough.” He sat up and grabbed her shoulders then dropped his head looking down at her lap

“But it’s mine” he said in a tiny, sad, voice. He gazed up at her, a sad look on his face. He was incredibly cute. 

“Not from that, that is still yours. From this…” she held up the empty vodka bottle “no more alcohol” he smiled with a big dopey grin

“Oh good, cuz there is no more” she laughed He looked down again “good news you’re still mine” he said to her lap and then bent down and planted his face in it. 

“Careful, don’t hit your head on the table” she shielded his head with her hand as he attempted to sit up. “Careful”

“I love you, Bro-bro, brobb, brobbie…you” she couldn’t help but laugh, he was smiling at her so sincerely “you are so pretty”

“you are pretty too” she put her hand on his cheek “How about we go back to the hotel?”

“you want to be alone with me so I can make you happy?” he was talking to her lap “I know how to make you haaaapppppppy” he started to pull her leg up so he could turn her to face him. 

“Sebastian, let’s go. No, no, no, stop” he was trying to lay her down on the bench. “come on, let’s go” she started to scoot back away from him. “come on, come on sebby” she said he followed her “come on, there you go” he was crawling across the seat and he was sexy as fuck. “come here you adorable thing” he stood up, wobbled a little, but caught himself then grabbed her hips. She grabbed his forearms and pulled him forward as she backed up towards the exit. She looked to her left to find a path but it caused her to slow down and he was able to wrap his arms around her kissing her below her right ear. “Come on daddy, keep moving” she whispered in his ear. He lifted her up “put me down before you fall over”

She realized he would only listen when she talked to him in baby talk. “Come on Sebby, put me down” he did and looked at her with a crooked smile one eyebrow up “you want me? Huh Sebby?” he nodded yes “then we have to go to the hotel” he nodded 

“ok let’s go” he said and grabbed her hand pulling her through the crowd. She briefly spotted Nina grinding against…fuck was that Loki? She didn’t get a chance to get a good look because Sebastian was now focused on getting back to the hotel. They got outside of the party and Brodie spotted Terri 

“Hey Terri! Can we get a car?” she called out to her. “come on Sebby, this way” she pulled on his arm “Follow Terri, sweetie” he smiled and repeated ‘sweetie’ she wondered if she was going to have to try to carry him to the room like he had carried her the night before. They got to the car Terri was standing by with the door open. He looked at her and said “Hey! I know you” and Terri looked at Brodie who mouthed ‘wasted’. He got into the car by sort of laying/falling on the back seat. 

“You gonna be ok?” Terri asked her

“Yeah, I got him. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“ok I’m going to make sure Nina makes it back ok”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. I think I saw her with Loki?”  
“Oh, yeah it definitely was him. They were all over each other earlier. But in real life he’s called Tom” Brodie laughed and nodded.

She got in the chauffeured car and again hoped he wasn’t a puker. “you got your seat belt on?” he looked at her like he had never heard of a seat belt. She leaned over and put it on him. 

“Thanks, Brobbie” She figured he was trying to say ‘Brodie Baby’ but made them one word. 

“You’re welcome Sebby” he laughed and repeated ‘Sebby’ 

“If I flirt with the driver can I fuck you again?” he said loud enough for the driver to turn and look. She laughed

“sorry it’s an inside joke” she said to the driver. She closed the partition. “you can fuck me anytime you want you don’t need to flirt with anyone else” he smiled and put his head back closing his eyes. She laid her head on his thigh and closed her eyes, too.

She woke up to the driver opening the back door. She sat up and yawned. Sebastian was still asleep in the same position. She gently shook him “Hey, wake up, we’re here.” He didn’t stir. “Sebastian. Wake up” “hmmmm” “Wake up.” He opened his eyes and sat up, looking around. “come on we’re here” he rubbed his hands on his face and got out blinking. He thanked the driver and so did Brodie. “Come on Sebby” she said taking his hand

He looked at her “Did you just call me Sebby?” 

“yeah, it was the only way I could get you to the car, sorry.”

“It’s fine, you have never called me anything other than Sebastian” he was still pretty drunk but he had slept off a little of it, enough to make eye contact. “or Daddy” he said wiggling his eyebrows.

“Well, I figured if you were going to call me Brobbie, Sebby seemed appropriate.” She laughed

“Brobbie?” she shook her head yes “ok”

Sebastian collapsed on the bed as soon as they walked into the bedroom. Both of them had only about 3 hours of sleep in the last 48-hours. She rolled him so he was not hanging half off of it. She took off his shoes and then decided to just help him get undressed so he was comfortable. She stripped him down to his boxers. And got him to get under the covers. She got undressed herself and put on his t-shirt that he left on the chair. It smelled like him. She got into the bed next to him and looked at his profile barely visible in the low light. She couldn’t help but feel something bad was about to happen, it was a sense from deep inside that was always right, damn it. “Sebastian” she whispered “please don’t let it be you” She rolled over facing away from him holding on to the tiny orchid, ‘please, please, please not him’ she repeated in her head until she fell asleep. 

He woke up, the sun coming through the break in the curtains hurting his eyes. Ouch his head hurt, too. He had to concentrate to remember where he was, Brodie. He stretched out his arm to find her and felt empty space. He rolled over and saw her tucked into the fetal position all the way on the opposite edge, back to him. He sat up to move closer to her and noticed she was wearing his shirt, he realized she must have undressed him and put him to bed. He snuggled up behind her, she balled up tighter.

“hey doll, you ok?” he whispered, she didn’t answer. He sat up and looked closer at her, she was asleep, the necklace he got her clutched in her bottom hand, her top arm wrapped around her knees. He put his hand over hers, releasing the bind on her legs by moving her arm long to her side. She stretched her legs rolling on her back. She was still holding the necklace in her left hand, he slid his hand under hers, gently prying opening her fingers letting the charm drop free. He turned her palm up, he could see the scabs on the tips of her fingers and remembered the blood on her guitar. Her finger nails were well below the top of the nail bed. 

Remembering the bruises on her ribs, he lifted the shirt to look at them. “Whatcha doin’?” she looked at him with half opened eyes. 

“taking my shirt back” she smacked his hand that was holding the bottom of the shirt up. “you might as well keep it, I’ll never look as good as you do in it.” She turned on her side facing him and ran her finger tips from his clavicle across his abs to his belly button. 

“You ought to look in a mirror sometime. It’s tragic you haven’t seen this.” She pointed at his chest “It’s really fucking perfect” he blushed

“Brodie” she knew the tone, here it is she thought “Last night, Terri told me something…”  
She sat up and got off the bed. 

She started to walk into the other room and stopped “just…just tell me it’s not you”

“It’s not me Brodie” she turned and looked at him “it’s not me, I promise” She turned and walked out into the other room. She needed to breathe and coffee, she needed coffee. She looked around, wasn’t there a fucking coffee maker there somewhere. (momma, ooohhh, didn’t mean to make you cry, if I’m not back again this time tomorrow) “Baby doll, stop.” He took her in his arms “what part are you at?”

“carry on, carry on…” her voice broke. He squeezed tighter.

“as if nothing really matters.” he sang it as he rocked her back and forth “Too late my time has come…I don’t remember the next line…” She laughed because he sang it. 

“it’s bad, isn’t it?” 

“It’s not good, but we’ll get through it” he lifted her chin “I promise, we’ll get through it together”   
There was a knock at the door. She looked at him. He went and opened it.

“I know we’re friends Seb, but some pants would be nice” She instantly recognized the voice

“why is Robert here?” Sebastian let him in and went to go get dressed “Why are you here?”

“Well hello to you too darling” he kissed her cheek and held her hand “go get dressed we need to talk” there was another knock. “I got it you go”

“Sebastian, you called Robert? Why? What is it that he needs to know before I do?” 

“Brodie, I just wanted to make sure before…” he stopped “just get dressed and we’ll talk about it and you’ll know why”

She threw on some pants and brushed her teeth. She kept Sebastian’s shirt on but added a bra. Well, she thought, let’s go see what fresh hell today has brought. She walked to the outer room. Robert was joined by Nina and Terri. Sebastian sat across from them. 

“Alright, is this some intervention shit or something. You all better start talking because I’m done with the theatrics.”

“Doll, come here”

“don’t ‘doll’ me” she was starting to get angry “What the fuck Sebastian?” 

“Brodie, please, come here” Sebastian patted the space next to him. Brodie looked at him,   
“Come here, sit.” She sat down and noticed a Starbucks on the table in front of her. She looked at Terri who nodded. She grabbed it.

“Last night Terri told me that JD had asked her to get some personal photos from you” Sebastian started

“Are you saying he’s the one releasing all the pictures to the press?”

“No, it’s not that” he looked at Terri

“The thing that is…” Terri took a deep breath “…he wanted me to get pictures from when you were younger, growing up, stuff like that”

“why?” Brodie was confused

“He told me that someone was writing a book about you and your childhood, what happened to you as a kid” Brodie turned pale nobody knows that stuff she reminded herself

“So, JD was going to what, help them out? Why would he do that, won’t that potentially cut into the money he makes from the band, from me?”  
“Brodie, he told Terri exactly where the pictures would be” Nina said

“how? He has no idea. He’s never even been to my place”

“He said they are in your apartment in New York, in a shoebox, in the back of the closet with your Grammy’s on top” Now brodie not only turned pale but started to feel nausea. 

“How the fuck…?” Brodie stood up to pace “When? When did he tell you to do this?”

“When you were in Paris. He said you were irresponsible and unstable and that you needed to be brought down a peg. I told him that he should go ahead and fire me because I would not under any circumstances betray your confidence.” 

“So, he wants to, what, blackmail me? Control me? Make more money off me?” she sat back down next to Sebastian “I still don’t get how he knew where the pictures are, and anyway whoever thinks they know anything about it doesn’t know shit. So why would I be worried?”

“Because darling, it’s your brother writing the book” said Robert

“No!” she pointed at Robert “You take that back. Duncan would not do that!”

“Brodie” Nina said carefully “it’s true, Robert has proof”

He held up his phone to show her the contract for JD to represent Duncan in literary endeavors, blah, blah, blah. He swiped to the next one, a letter outlining the premise of the book that would be sent to publishers to look for a deal. 

“Where did you get these?”

“I got them” Terri said “I knew you would, you should, need proof”

“I sent them to my lawyer to make sure they were real, darling”

Brodie sighed “ok, ok. Terri, you’re fired” 

“Brodie…” Sebastian started to protest she held up her hand to him

“You are no longer my assistant employed through JD, understand?”

“Yes” she dropped her head

“Good. Since you are unemployed I would like to offer you the recently vacated position of my PA. Pay and benefits and all that other crap” Terri looked at her to make sure she was serious “Yes or no? I need someone immediately”

Terri took a breath trying not to cry “Yes, please”

“Good. Could you get rid of everyone I need some time to think.”

“Sure thing”

“Also, I know it’s Sunday, so I’m going to need you to get in touch with my legal first thing tomorrow, not the bands legal, mine”

“You got it”

She turned and walked to the bedroom door and quietly said “Sebastian?” he got up and looked to Robert who just nodded at him. Then he followed Brodie into the bedroom. Once they had closed the door, Sebastian grabbed Brodies hand and stopped so she would turn to face him. He didn’t say anything he just pulled her in his arms making sure not to squeeze her too hard and hurt her sore ribs. He felt her relax into him. 

He kissed the top of her head “How you feeling?”

“Lucky, grateful, so motherfucking pissed off, and ready”

“Ready for?”

“Ready to go public, control the story, make it worthless for him, move to New York, start a life with you hopefully, step out on my own, just ready.”

“yes to all of that!”


	53. She Loses On Purpose

She was calm, on the outside, she knew she had to play her hand perfectly. She had years of practice masking her inner thoughts and feelings. She had told Terri and Nina it was business as usual until further notice. No discussions, no acting like she was wounded or needed extra care or attention, no secret looks to each other. Terri was to pretend to still be an employee of JD and no one was to be trusted except them, Sebastian and Robert, no one. 

On the inside, she was wounded deeply. Did she just have some special branding that made every manipulating piece of shit see dollar signs? She had been whored out in one way or another since she was 6-years-old, at first because she didn’t have a choice, then because she was so fucking desperate for affection, and now the person she had loved and trusted the most would use her story for his own gain. 

Four months ago, she would have killed anyone who even hinted at Duncan being capable of pimping her out. Now she was coming to realize that he might be the worst one. It’s weird that you think you know love until actual love shows up, she thought, and for her it had to show itself 2-3 times before it sank in. She never could figure out why Robert and Nina were different than everyone else. She thought they were the weird ones, turns out they were the real ones.

Then for some reason, her ability to say the exact wrong thing paid off and there he was, all charming and blue eyed, smelling like a fucking god and wanting to know her. Not like ‘how much do I have to listen to you before I can fuck you’, but like ‘what makes you laugh, what makes you sad, who are you really?’. The fact that he wanted to be her only sexual partner, not because he was a control freak but because he thought she was worth more than fucking, was still unbelievable to her. Plus, he knew about what she had done, who she had been and still thought she was worth introducing to his friends and family and being seen in public with. 

When everyone had left that morning, she had told him she was going to tell the world about it before anyone else got to tell her story. “It might be embarrassing for you, there’s going to be a lot of judgement and apparently a counter story from Duncan. It’s gonna get messy, everyone is going to know what I am”

“and what is that?”

“Oh, the ususal, whore, prostitute, slut, all of the above” She waved her hand dismissing it.

“Are you telling me this like a warning or a way out?”

“Both, I guess” he grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him

“I’m only saying this once so I need you to fucking hear it and believe it and remember it, understand?” she nodded “Understand?” 

“yes, I understand”

“I don’t give a fucking shit about anyone else but you and me, and ok my mom, but she already likes you. I don’t care about a single fucking word your brother has to say, and for the last fucking time Brodie, I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!” he yelled “do you hear me? Do you understand what I just said to you?” She nodded “Do not EVER call the woman I love a whore or any of those other things, and NEVER push me away again.” He said it trying to control his anger. “promise me” she nodded again “No, fucking say it, promise me!”

“I promise” he nodded and closed his eyes trying to calm himself down “I promise Sebastian.” He opened his eyes and let go of her shoulders.

“come here” he opened his arms she put her arms up around his neck 

“you had your chance, you’re stuck with me now. Pending your mother’s approval anyway.” She leaned in and kissed him. 

“I love you”

“I love you too Sebby” he smiled and shook his head

“That’s the nickname we’re going with?”

“It’s better than Bro-bro or Brobbie” 

“Hey I call you doll, or baby doll, that’s Anthony who calls you Bro-bro”

“you called me that last night, and Brobbie” he looked up trying to remember

“oh yeah, I did, didn’t I?” she nodded “ok, I don’t let a lot of people call me that, but since you’re the love of my life I’ll let it slide.”

“Love of your life, huh?”

“Yep. Well, I mean until I graduate middle school then it’s on to the high school teachers” She laughed. “Brodie, I’m serious don’t try to push me away because you think you’re protecting me or because you think you’re not good enough or whatever other bullshit. It’s just a waste of our time, ok?”

They were on the tour bus now, heading to San Francisco. Sebastian had a good time exploring the bus, the beds particularly fascinated him. Two rows of three high on either side of the middle of the bus, he thought they were like astronaut beds. Malcolm thought that was a brilliant observation which set them off on watching ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ as much as Brodie enjoyed weird syfy that one just made her feel stupid. “I don’t get it” she told them

“What’s not to get?” Malcolm said appalled “This is one of the greatest films of all time”

“Yeah, ok” she said “I’m gonna go talk to Nina” She gave Sebastian a quick kiss on the head. His hair was growing out, she though. He smiled up at her. She was going to introduce him to tour bus sex if he kept smiling like that. 

“Ok Nina, spill it. What’s with you and the god of mischief?” 

“He’s so hot. I mean the accent? Whoa” she tipped her head back 

“What about Thomas?”

“What about Thomas? I know you and big man are exclusive but we aren’t”

“Oh, ok. I was just wondering. Is everything ok?” Nina nodded but Brodie wasn’t convinced

“Besides it was just heavy messing around, no actual fucking”

“Wow, good self-control”

“Fuck that, he was too much of a gentleman. I tried. He says he will be in New York when we are there so maybe” she crossed her fingers

“By the way, who let Sebastian drink so much? He was totally fucked up when I got there”

“Hey he’s an adult, wait, he is an adult right? Seb! How old are you?” 

“36” he yelled back

“Oh phew, you’re good then” Brodie rolled her eyes “I don’t know he must have had a lot on his mind” she quickly added “or just wanted to drink.”

“Hey Doll, look more pictures are going around” Sebastian handed her his phone “look these are from Paris” There were pictures of them kissing, Sebastian dipping her back and kissing her, him holding his hand out to her to help her off her chair. Then there was one of them at the World Cup game, cheek to cheek smiling “how did they get that one?” Sebastian asked

“I don’t know” Brodie said, except she did know, it was the one she had sent Jeremy. Well, fuck.

“Hey Seb, it’s tradition to play strip poker your first time on the bus.” Nina was saying

“No, it’s not! Don’t play with Nina she loses on purpose” Brodie warned

“First of all, not this time I want him to lose so I can see the goods and secondly, it worked didn’t it Brodie?” Nina and Sebastian looked at her questioning

“You know I really like this one. We look very cute.” She held up the phone and showed them

“It worked Seb, just, you know, FYI” she winked he high fived her and she stood up then they bumped chests.

“Hey! I told you to stop telling him stuff!” then she remembered “Good call on the ear thing though, thanks” 

“I guess you found it, good job Seb” he smiled, proud of himself. “I could show you more stuff…”

“He does extremely well all on his own, thank you!” Brodie pulled him down to sit next to her then kissed his cheek. “Perfect, actually.” He turned his face to hers and kissed her

“Ugh! You two need to get a room” Nina rolled her eyes

“Excellent idea Nina” she pushed him to stand up “Come on Sebby, I’ll show you tour bus sex”

“Yes please!”

She led him back to the beds “This one is mine” she pointed “I wanna show you something” She climbed in and scooted all the to the back. It was tall enough for her to sit up but Sebastian had to bend his neck to sit. “lay down on your back” She pointed to the ceiling where a poster of a shirtless Sebastian was. 

“where did you get that?”

“Internet” she smiled proudly “I heard somewhere that putting a poster of a topless hottie above your bed is a thing.”

“Yeah? I don’t remember it being a topless picture”

“Potato, potato” she waved it off “That’s that Sebastian Stan guy, he’s super hot!”

“Have you seen his girlfriend? She’s even hotter”

“Oh yeah? Does she have…” she cupped her hands above her chest to indicate large breasts. He nodded yes “Nice!”

“Really?” he asked intrigued “You like big boobs?”

“I mean they’re not a requirement but they are a bonus” 

“So what else do you like?”

“On a woman?” he nodded “Well, I like tattoos, on a guy tattoos are awesome but on a woman? I don’t know, they totally do it for me” 

“I get that” he said touching the one on her thigh “what else?”

“Hmmmm, shoes that make their legs look…” she rolled her eyes “you know what I mean? and of course hands” 

“So, what is tour bus sex?” he asked turning on his side to face her.

“Oh, well tour bus sex is when you have sex, on a tour bus.” She laughed “no, really, so if you have sex with a roadie or a crew member that’s having sex on the road. When you have sex with an actual member of the band on a moving tour bus, in other words you have been invited to the next show, tour bus sex”

“sounds like an exclusive club”

“Ehhhhhh, not really no, but it does up your street cred”

“I definitely need a boost in my street cred” she reached over and pulled on his shirt until he rolled on top of her.

“I can help you with that. Come here cutie” 

After Sebastian was thoroughly initiated into the tour bus sex club, Brodie grabbed her phone and scrolled through her text messages, she clicked on Jeremy’s and quietly gave it to Sebastian. He tightened his jaw and handed the phone back to her. 

He signed to her:  
“I’m sorry, what do you want to do?”

She signed back:  
“I don’t know yet, I just wanted you to see”

“Hey doll, I want to ask you something important.”

“Sure, go ahead” she answered trying to brace herself

“Would you please be my date at tiff?”

“Absolutely, I would love to! What is tiff?”

“The Toronto Film Festival” he said laughing “It will be red carpet, all the works, public debut of us as a couple, fun”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath “I would be very honored to be your date, when is it?”

“September”

“This tour ends September 6th so when in September?”

“Uhhh” he looked it up on his phone “7th to the 9th”

“Of course, but that is actually perfect timing” She put it in her phone and sent Terri a text about it, basically saying she had no idea what that meant, please help look it up. “Um, Sebby?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you”

“for what?”

“Wanting to … for asking me to… for being you”

“No worries doll, I was expecting a fight to get you to agree. Thank you for wanting to go.”

“Well you know, I made a promise” she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes


	54. Somehow Go Back In Time

The bus rolled in to San Francisco just after 8 pm, Matt the tour manager made them all sit and listen to the run-down of the schedule for the next few days before they were allowed to leave the bus. It amused Brodie that Sebastian was so attentive to what Matt was saying, the rest of them were like bored high schoolers. She threw her pen at him and mouthed ‘nerd’ when he looked over. He mouthed ‘pay attention’. She rolled her eyes and pretended to fall asleep dropping her chin to her chest. He shook his head disappointed. 

He was leaving after tomorrow night’s show, she was going to miss him, she felt like he was the only one she could trust 100%. The next morning would be the beginning of the end of this part of her life. She was sure the future was going to be pretty good with him, but there was a long fight ahead. That was nothing new for her, she never backed away from a fight, this time was different though, she was stronger than ever before. She knew for the first time she had at least 3 solid unwavering supporters behind her and one right at her side. Watch the fuck out.

“What do we do now doll?” Sebastian was looking at the itinerary that Matt had passed out to everyone, but she was sure that he was the only one actually looking at it.

“Well normally, I would go to my hotel room and probably watch a movie or read or something. Maybe go out, but not so much anymore. What would you like to do?”

“Honestly? That sounds perfect.” He hugged her “I might be still a little hungover”

“Awww, poor Sebby. I’ll take care of you.” She winked  
They ordered room service and spent the night in pajamas watching “The Office” reruns that were playing on some channel. She kept thinking about what she was going to say to the lawyers tomorrow and couldn’t concentrate. 

“Sebby, I’m gonna break with the band” she said suddenly

“Are you sure?” he asked a little surprised

“Yeah, I am. It’s not even about the picture of us at the game. I just, I need to, I can’t put it into words”

“If that’s what you need to do, then do it.”

“I feel like I’m abandoning them, like I’m leaving my family to fend for themselves or something, but I just…”

“You do know they are grown men, right?” she stuck her tongue out at him. “Brodie the only person you have to take care of is you… and you know, me because I’m an actor and we are fragile” She rolled her eyes

“Yes, I know. I thought I was done after Susan took Robert off my hands. I didn’t realize I was going to be so easily sucked back in by a pretty face” she tried to sound disgusted

“I’m not just a pretty face! I also have great range and I can speak two languages”

“Are you giving me your resume?” she laughed “I’m not auditioning you for, what, boyfriend? Dork! You already have the part, dumb ass”

“Hey! You can’t talk to me like that, I’m in the Screen Actors Guild I will call my rep and complain” he threw a pillow at her. 

“Dude, tell it to my lawyer” 

“I will consider a settlement offer” he crossed his arms

“Really, how kind of you” he wiggled his eyebrows “are you suggesting I have sex with you so you don’t report me to SAG?” he nodded yes. She scrunched up her face like she was thinking “well I mean I was going to make a move on you anyway so I guess” She sighed “It’s really going to be hard to get into it with your beautiful face and perfect body and gigantor dick” she shook her head “but I’ll do my best”

“Thank you, kind lady” he crawled over to her on the bed “for taking pity on me” he laid down and put his head in her lap and looked up at her with a pleading face “Please overlook my deformities and let me fuck you.” He used a British accent

“Oh! ok!” she scooted down so she was laying on her back “Kiss me daddy”

“Where?”

Later that night, Brodie got a text from Nina

N- Brodie! I’m lonely!! Need cuddles!!  
B- Bitch! Sebastian is here!!  
N- I know!! Ask him if I can come cuddle!  
B- No!  
N- PLEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEEE!!

“Sebastian?”

“What’s up doll?’

“Nina wants me to ask you if she can come cuddle, but I’m going to tell her no”

“She wants to what now?”

“Cuddle, when one of us is lonely on the road we spoon together so we can sleep.”

“Oh, well it’s fine with me”

“really?”

“sure, why not?”

B- alright he said ok

There was an almost immediate knock on the door.

“were you in the hallway?”

“Maybe?”

“come on”

She started to get in on the side Sebastian was on “NO!” Brodie pointed to her side and she got in next to Sebastian and Nina slid in next to her. Brodie turned towards him on her side Nina scooted right up against her back as usual wrapping her arms around Brodies middle. Sebastian turned to face them on his side trying to figure out where he fit in. 

Brodie said “ok fine, but he’s mine, understand?” Nina nodded yes and jumped over both of them to Sebastian’s right side. Brodie snuggled up to his left side he wrapped his arm around her. Nina snuggled up to his right side. He wasn’t sure what to do with his arm. “It’s ok, she doesn’t bite unless you ask her to” he loosely put his arm around Nina. Brodie and Nina were nose to nose on his chest. Nina motioned with her eyes downward and Brodie shook her head no, Nina made a face that said ‘please?’ and Brodie shook her head with a sneer no. Nina tried to lift the covers to look at Sebastian’s dick. “NO!” Brodie said slapping her hand. 

“I wasn’t gonna touch it, I just want to see it” 

“Damn it, Nina. He’s mine therefore that is mine, MINE.” 

“ok geesh, stingy” Nina pouted 

“you know somewhere in the past, my teenaged self’s head just exploded that the two of you are fighting over my dick” said Sebastian seriously “if I could somehow go back in time and tell him this was going to happen, I would have had some swagger” 

They laughed “Livin’ the dream Seb” Nina said 

Brodie woke on her side, Sebastian spooning her from behind. She could feel his breath behind her ear. His arms were wrapped around her his left arm under her that hand on her bottom thigh, his right arm was over her, that hand cupping her left breast. She wiggled slightly to get closer to him and his breath changed rhythm with the movement. She felt his dick start to harden against her back. He snuggled in closer to her nuzzling her neck. He started to kiss the nape, she turned her head to look over her shoulder at him and he kissed the side of her mouth. She grabbed both of his wrists and moved his hands to her breasts. He gently started to squeeze them and concentrate harder on kissing her neck. She reached back with her right arm to grab his hip and pull him closer and felt Nina’s leg. Shit, she forgot she was there, she turned towards him to wake Nina up and have her go back to her own room but Sebastian took it as her turning towards him, he was still partly asleep. He rolled over on top of her kissing her and pulling down her pajama bottoms and then his own. Brodie was trying to signal him that Nina was there but he was already inside her. “Sebastian…Nina” she whispered to him. It was too late he was already too into it and so was she. It wouldn’t be the first time Nina had been with her in bed. They came nearly together, her a little before him, he collapsed on top of her whispering “I love you” in her ear.

On her side facing away from them Nina said “That was sweet. Do I get a turn?” Sebastian jumped at the sound of her voice and looked over at her finally wide awake. 

“I tried to tell you” Brodie said he dropped his head into her shoulder 

“now can I see it?” Nina asked turning towards them 

“NO” they said in unison 

“Just for a second!” Nina tried to look between them Brodie wrapped her legs tighter around him. 

“Out!” she pointed towards the door 

“Fine!” Nina said laughing getting up “nice ass though, Seb” 

“thank you” he said into Brodie’s shoulder “Is she gone?” 

“yeah” 

“Good, I’m not done with you doll. Someone was a bad girl on stage and needs to be reminded who her daddy is again”

“Oh, it was me!” she realized that was a little too eager, “oh, it was me.” she tried to not sound so excited but, he was so hot. “I thought maybe you didn’t notice”

“You think I didn’t notice my woman asking an entire stadium of people to put their hands on her, and then letting them?” she shrugged “and what exactly was with the…” he mimicked ‘showing the girls’ she blushed. He got up, pulled up his bottoms, and walked across the room. He sat in a chair, arms on the arm rest, knees wide. “I think maybe I shouldn’t touch you for a while. Maybe you will learn to be a little more appreciative of daddy?” she sat up 

“No, I mean, yes, I mean, I am appreciative of you daddy. You don’t have to stop touching me.” He sighed and put his hands behind his head and just looked up. She went over to him and kneeled between his legs “Come on daddy, touch me” he shook his head no. she took her hands and rubbed his thighs from his knees to his hips and back. “Daddy please?” he shook his head again. She got up and straddled him taking off her shirt and pushing his up, he wouldn’t put his hands down from behind his head so she just pushed it up as high as it would go and then threw her body against his exposed skin. “Daddy please” she begged him. He didn’t move she tried to grab his arms and make him touch her but she couldn’t even budge them. “what do you need me to do so that you know your hands are the only ones I want touching me?” 

He finally looked at her “I mean that song was supposed to be for me, right?” she shook her head yes “so…” She smiled slowly. She got up and took a few steps back, and taking a deep breath in started to sing the song. This time when she got to the ‘put ‘em on me’ part, he did.

Way too quickly it was time to get to business. Sebastian watched as she paced on the phone, simultaneously explaining the situation to her legal team in New York and directing Terri on what she needed her to do. How this was the same woman who was underneath him an hour ago begging him “please daddy” he couldn’t explain, but the fact that this badass was the one saying “I promise daddy, I only want your hands on me. Please don’t ever stop touching me” was what made him all hers. Nothing came close to the feeling of her letting him do whatever he wanted because pleasing him turned her on.

“No, it’s going to have to be a whole new everything” she was saying “No I don’t have a manager in mind, can’t I just not have one until I find somebody?” She looked at him and rolled her eyes, he smiled in support “Ok, yeah, I understand” she took the phone away from her ear “Terri I need you to look up PR firms in New York and remind me about the lock thing again when I’m done” Terri nodded. “Sebby, you are freaking adorable right now” he winked at her “no I hear you, not a word until you can make a move. I mean, I have sole publishing rights, no I just choose to split it equal. Yeah, I understand. No, I mean if that’s how we have to do it… ok. Thanks. Bye”

She sat down heavy in the chair next his. “well, it’s in motion. I have to find a good publicist and apparently, I need a manager asap. I am supposed to decide when, where, and what I want to make public” she sighed “this is what I never wanted to happen”

“Listen Brodie, you don’t owe anyone any explanation you don’t have to say a fucking word. I just can’t help thinking though how much your story could help others.” She shook her head no “Remember that kid Trevor we met when we had pizza?” she nodded yes “You helped him by telling him you understood what he was going through, you said you told him something personal. Think about what would have helped you then and speak to young Brodie”


	55. Eighteen Days

Brodie’s phone rang with an unfamiliar number. She was on the tour bus on the way to Las Vegas. She was tired and kinda cranky. Sebastian was in Europe filming again for 355. It was coming up on day 13 since she had seen him. The two-week rule was going to be stretched to 18 days. She was remembering why they made it two weeks.

“Hello” she answered kind of irritated

“Hey Brodie, it’s Scott Evans” she smiled

“Scott! I’m so glad it’s you! How are you?”

“I’m good, how are you? Chris said you needed to talk with me?”

“Oh god, I forgot, that was like weeks ago. I had a question for you”

“shoot”

“I was wondering if you could explain how I am akin to a Keebler Elf?” laughter exploded from the other end. 

“I’m sorry, you just surprised me with that question. Did Chris tell you that?”

“Sebastian actually”

“Snitch! Good thing that man is so pretty, it helps him get away with a lot, doesn’t it?”

“It really does! I mean how can I stay mad at that face? It also helps that he is pretty much the nicest person who ever lived. So, elf?”

“Aw, I am sorry Brodie. We were just messing around, you are so tiny.”

“Not really, bitch I’m 5’3”, you guys are just abnormally tall”

“Ok Brodie if that’s what you need to believe than yes I am part giant”

“I KNEW IT!” she laughed. They talked for a long time, she told him about the tour and her trip to Paris. He told her about what he was working on and the man he was dating. When they finally hung up she felt better, it was nice to talk to someone outside of the small traveling circus. Someone she didn’t have to assume was ready to stab her in the back.

The lawyers were working on the details and she had a line on some good PR people in New York although they had no idea she was the one looking, it needed to be quiet. The manager thing though, was not happening. It was hard to get a firm to give information without disclosing who the client would be, and she had worked with JD long enough to know the first sign of jumping ship would be broadcast immediately. Sebastian had offered to talk to his manager Emily to see if she could recommend someone, but she hadn’t heard anything from her yet.  


“Brodie?” Nina knocked on the side of the bus bed. 

“Yeah?” she opened the partition, she knew immediately Nina had been crying. “What’s wrong? Come here!” Nina climbed in and Brodie held her in her arms. “What’s the matter sweet pea?” She hadn’t called her that in long time but it just came out.

“Thomas and I broke up” she said sniffling “when he left in San Diego”

“That was like 2 or 3 weeks ago, why didn’t you tell me?” she knew something wasn’t right she should have asked more questions.

“I didn’t want to ruin the time with Seb” she said looking down avoiding eye contact

“Nina, I’m sorry if I made you feel like I would make it about me.”

“No, it’s not that, I know you don’t do that.”

“Dude, you can tell me anything, you know that, right?”

“I know it’s just awful. I’m awful.”

“Can you tell me what it is?” 

“Yes, but you promise not to judge me?”

“Of course, you know I love you no matter what”

“I don’t want kids”

“ok, and?”

“That’s it. I don’t want kids, I don’t want to get married, I don’t want to settle down, I don’t want any of that, ever”

“So, what? Good for you that you know that about yourself. I think it’s awesome” 

“Thomas said it’s not normal, and that everyone wants that, even people who say they don’t secretly want it. I just got off the phone with him. Brodie, I honestly don’t want it.” She looked at her pleadingly 

“Nina, there is nothing wrong with that. At. All.” She stressed “You are perfectly normal. Jesus, it’s better to know you don’t want kids and not have them then to have a bunch and fuck them all up, right?” Nina nodded “What? There is something else?” she could sense it.

“When we get to New York will you come with me?” she started to cry again

“oh.” She suddenly understood Nina was pregnant and was going to terminate it “What time do we have to be there and am I allowed to stay with you the whole time or do I have to fight someone to be let in? I just want to know how worked up I need to be before we get there.” 

“You can stay I made sure. I just…”

“Nina, you don’t have to explain shit to anybody. Your body, your life, your choice. I love you, ok?”

“I love you too” Nina cried herself to sleep in Brodie’s arms. When Nina was comfortably tucked in Brodie texted Sebastian, Nina had told her it was ok to tell him, but only him.

B- Hey you got a second?  
S- Always for you.  
B- Nina said it was ok for me to tell you but you can’t tell anyone ok?  
S- yeah, is she ok?  
B- She’s pregnant, and she’s not keeping it  
S- Oh. Is she ok?  
B- I mean, she is sure but it’s still hard. She asked me to come with her when she goes  
S- When?  
B- when we get to New York, she already has an appointment  
S- Are you ok?  
B- Yeah, I’m sad for her. She feels like she isn’t normal because she never wanted kids  
S- That’s completely normal  
B- That’s what I said  
S- Brodie don’t  
B- Don’t what?  
S- I can feel you trying to figure out how to ask me if I want kids  
B- do you?  
S- I mean yes but I’d be ok without them too.  
B- You know it’s like a million to one I could have one now, right?  
S- Have you ever been to Romania?  
B- yeah, 3 times, why?  
S- you know how many kids there need parents?  
B- No not really  
S- A lot. If WE want kids WE will adopt from there. WE, not me. Seriously, end of discussion  
B- Maybe I want an Italian kid  
S- we’ll get one of them too, but maybe we could have more than 3 days together at a time first  
B- Lol good plan

Sebastian’s manager finally called 2 days later, Brodie had just gotten off the bus to stretch and immediately regretted it. Fuck, Phoenix was hot! Why did they decide to go there in the middle of fucking summer? When the phone rang she was walking into the closest building that had A/C.

“Hello” she said as the cool air hit her. She realized she had walked into an ice cream place and was distracted by all the flavors

“Is this Brodie Lee?”

“Yes” she was already scanning the menu

“This is the office of Emily Gerson Saines, hold please” Who? She thought. Oooooo, pistachio!

“Brodie, this Emily Seb’s manager” Oh fuck she looked for a quiet corner

“Hi Emily, what can I do for you?”

“Seb told me about your situation, he didn’t give me too much detail but it sounds like a clear case of conflict of interest. You have good lawyers I see. Seb mentioned that you need a manager right away but one that can keep quiet.”

“Yes, I would really like to strike before anyone knows what is happening.” She looked around to make sure no one had followed her in. 

“I gotta say, there are not many who will keep it quiet for you. Especially if they can leverage the information for something else.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m finding out” she sighed

“Look I have an idea, it’s a little unusual but not unheard of. I could represent you on a temporary basis until you can accomplish your goal and then you are free to shop around for a permanent replacement.”

“Wow, you would be willing to do that?”

“Sure, it would give me bragging rights for years that you were one of my former clients.”

“Well, I don’t know about that but thank you, it would be great to work with you.”

“Sounds great, I will send the contracts over to your lawyers and Seb mentioned you are on your way here?”

“Uh, in a few days yeah”

“Ok great, look them over and if everything looks good you can swing by and sign, and we can talk strategy” 

“Sounds great, thanks again” She was relieved, if Sebastian trusted her then Brodie did too. She got her ice cream and one for Nina who was still feeling down. 

Eighteen days. She hadn’t seen him in eighteen days but this last hour was the worst. It was early on the Friday morning before his birthday, Nina’s appointment was later that morning and if they didn’t get through this traffic she wasn’t going to get to see him until after. She wanted to be able to concentrate on Nina not her own crap. 

“Where are you meeting Seb?” Nina could read her thoughts. 

“Depends when we get in, he was going to try to meet me early but if we don’t get there in time I will see him tomorrow” she shrugged Nina lifted one eyebrow

“You don’t have to stay with me all night, you know”

“Yes, I do. You are my best girl friend and I love you” she kissed the top of her head. “Besides, you would do the same for me, end of discussion” huh, that worked she thought, good one Sebby.

They finally rolled into the hotel where most of them were staying. Brodie was going to her place to make sure nothing was missing and Nina would stay with her at least for tonight. She texted Sebastian that they were finally there. He texted back an address and told her to bring Nina, but didn’t tell her what was there. She wanted to drop off her stuff but he said bring it and just hurry up and do what he asked. She texted “ok Daddy, geesh” and got a cab. 

When they got there, it was an apartment building and Sebastian was standing out front talking with the doorman. 

“Where the fuck are we?” Nina asked “This is where we find out Seb is actually too good to be true and he murders us both, right?”

“I’m gonna go with yes” When he noticed it was Brodie he ran over and grabbed her picking her up and spinning her. 

“I missed you, doll!” he kissed her then put her down and hugged Nina picking her up and kissing her cheek “I missed you too, creeper”

“Creeper? Yeah, I guess I deserve that.” She looked up at the building “Is this where you take all your victims?” he looked at her confused “Where are we?”

“My place” he said like it was common knowledge. Brodie stopped midway taking a suitcase out of the trunk 

“What, where?” she said now she was confused

“This is my apartment building” he said slowly “I. live. Here.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know.” She said back just as slowly

“I thought it would be better if you both stayed here because you said your place only has one room and this way we can take care of this one together” he put his arm around Nina

“Seb, you don’t have to…” He covered Nina’s mouth with his hand 

“Shush! Here doll I got those” he grabbed the bags

“I swear to fucking god Brodie, he can’t be this good. He has to be a serial killer!”

“the acting jobs would be a good cover” Brodie agreed “who do you think he’s gonna kill first?”

“Me obviously. I just hope I finally get a look before I die”

“Jesus, would you please just forget I told you anything?”

“Nope, I gotta see it” she shrugged “It’s a quest now”

Sebastian showed Nina the guest room while Brodie roamed around looking at pictures and books and other personal items he had around. He really didn’t have a lot of stuff, she thought. She picked up a framed photo. This has got to be his mom, she thought, pretty. She felt him walk up behind her. 

“Is this your mom?” she said without turning around he moved closer and put his arms around her. 

“Yes, and that is my stepdad right there” he pointed “That was about a year before he got sick”

“Your mom is beautiful, I see how much you resemble her” she looked closer at his stepdad “Stepdads scare me in general” she said 

“I’m sure they do.” He kissed her shoulder “I hope it’s ok that I want you guys to stay here”

“Of course, it’s ok. It’s actually really sweet.”

“Well, it’s not that sweet” he whispered in her ear “I’ve been hoping to get you in my bed for a while now” She put the picture down and turned to face him

“Hi, I missed you. I’m so happy to see you” he smiled

“I missed you too, give daddy a kiss”


	56. Your Very Humble Ass

They had been dating for 4 months and she had never been in his space, with the exception of the time in Paris when she went to work with him, it had been in her orbit. She wanted to stay there in his apartment forever and just be in his world, but she knew she had to go check and make sure nothing was missing at her place. 

Terri had been amazing, taking care of getting locks and codes changed for her. She had already been in the city for a few days taking care of loose ends Brodie hadn’t even thought about. Brodie had always been pretty generous with her stuff. She never felt the need to protect or defend against someone stealing from her. She just didn’t think that way. She would share what she had if someone needed help. Terri had asked her who had copies of keys to her place and rolled her eyes when Brodie had answered “Which one?”

“Brodie! How many people have keys and codes to your homes, both of your homes?” Brodie just shrugged she really had no idea. She never wanted anyone to feel like they didn’t have a place to stay. Terri was adamant that she should no longer give keys to anyone except one or two trusted people for emergencies. She also yelled at her for giving out her security codes to a million people. “What is the use of a security system if everyone has the code?” Brodie just shrugged again.

Since there were a couple hours before Nina’s appointment, she decided to run over and take a quick look. This way she could get it over with and stay in Sebastian’s world until she was forced to leave. Sebastian insisted on coming with her, he wanted to see her place, but also after 18 days of separation neither one of them really wanted to be apart for even a minute. Funny thing was, they lived so close, Sebastian in SoHo and Brodie in Little Italy, but that was one of the things about the city. You could live there forever and never run into the person who lives a block away but at the same time there is a chance to bump into anyone. 

She used the new front door key that Terri had given her. She had a hard time with which key was which. “Two new keys” she explained to him

“The owner agreed to change the front door locks for you?” Sebastian asked

“Well, uh…” Brodie scrunched up her face

“You own the building, don’t you?” he said shaking his head

“Kinda” She hated stuff like this. It made her uncomfortable that she was wealthy. She didn’t feel any different, and she hated when people treated her special because she might have a large bank account. She felt much more comfortable blending in. Sebastian was laughing

“It’s ok doll, you look like I asked you if you murdered somebody.” He looked up at the scaffolding around them. 

“I would actually feel a lot better about that then this” she gestured to the building. “I didn’t set out to own it, I just couldn’t let them tear it down when I knew this is where my Nona grew up. I couldn’t help her when she got sick, so I guess I felt like I didn’t want to let her down, again”

“what’s with the construction?”

“Oh, the owner is restoring it to look like it did when it was built.” She winked

They started the climb to the 5th floor where Brodie’s apartment was. An older gentleman was coming down when they got to the 3rd floor. “Hey Brodie! è molto tempo che non ci si vede!”

“Ciao Joe, come sei stato?”

“Bene, bene. E tu?”

“Bene, questo è il mio ragazzo Sebastian” She introduced him as her boyfriend and thought to herself that this was the first time.

“Ciao Sebastian, piacere di conoscerti” Joe shook his hand

“Ciao, piacere di conoscerti anche grazie” Sebastian answered. Oh, he was right, she thought, Italian is kinda hot. 

They got to the 5th floor and Brodie opened the door to her favorite place. It was a small one-bedroom apartment. Walking into the door straight ahead there was a tiny closet, the little open kitchen was immediately to the left. Beyond that was a living space then a door that lead to the bedroom. Behind the kitchen was the tiny bathroom. Both the living space and the bedroom had a portion of wall that was brick. The floor was hard wood that was polished to a shinny dark brown, almost black. Sitting against the brick portion of the living room wall, a large window on either side, was the chair from the ‘Bound’ video. Sebastian saw it and stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at it and then to Brodie, mouth hanging open. 

“Yeah” she said casually walking past him to the bedroom “I have the shoes here too” it took at least a minute for his brain to catch up, then he quickly followed her into the bedroom. She was already digging into the closet to see if the shoebox, full of her past, she had purposely buried and tried to forget, was still there. She was stretching on her tip toes to try to reach the shelf.

“Brodie, let me help you before you pull all that down on your head” Sebastian came up behind her and looked up at the shelf. “Don’t you own a step stool shorty?” she elbowed him in the stomach playfully

“Yes, but it’s such a pain in the ass” she said still attempting to pull stuff down

“You’re a pain in the ass always trying to give yourself a concussion” he picked her up and turned putting her down outside of the closet to get her out of the way. “go get it so you can tell me what to grab.” She stomped away rolling her eyes to get the stepstool out of the front closet. The first thing he grabbed was a glass sculpture he realized was an award once he looked closer at it. Oh, no big deal, he thought sarcastically, just an American Music Award for ‘Artist – Alternative Rock’. He carefully placed it on the bed. Oh, look another one, he said to himself, ‘Album- Pop/Rock’, oh wait there’s a third one, ‘Song of the year - Pop/Rock’. “Jesus fucking Christ Brodie” 

“what?” she said returning with the step stool.

“Why don’t you have these out somewhere?” she shrugged. “Ok, we are gonna find a place for these” She waved him off

“Fine whatever, take them to your place, you can tell people they are yours” she joked “Here let me look up there” she climbed up the little ladder. “Ok on the left, the box, wait, here” she reached out and grabbed a Grammy from on top of the box and handed it to him.

“Best Alternative Music Album” he read. She handed him another one “Best Female Rock Vocal Performance” She tried to hand him the box but he was standing holding the Grammy’s acting like he was on stage “I’d like to thank my mom, who has always been there for me…” She rolled her eyes 

“Excuse me, can you take the box please?”

“No don’t play the music, I just started. I’d like to thank my girlfriend, this would not have been possible without you, doll” he pointed to her and winked, she couldn’t help but smile “I’d like to thank the academy for giving me this honor. I mean, I have never made an album, but to give me these just because I am such a great actor, you needed to honor me, I mean, I’m humbled” 

“Are you?” she said sarcastically “Could your very humble ass come over here and grab this box for me?” he sighed

“Party pooper” he took the box. It was an old Converse shoe box taped shut with silver duct tape wrapped around in three places. “Doesn’t look opened” he said inspecting it. She was still digging around for something “you said you have 4 of these” he held up a Grammy 

“Here” she handed him the third and fourth ‘I have to see if the…” she was dangerously on the edge of the stepladder

“Brodie get down I’ll get it” he grabbed her around the waist, scared she would fall, and put her on the ground. She sneered at him as he climbed up to the top, his head about a half inch away from the ceiling. “Are these… are these ‘moon men’?” he said referring to the silver MTV awards. “Brodie, what the fuck? Why are you hiding all of this shit?”

“It makes people uncomfortable, I don’t want to brag or anything” She said quickly 

“it makes who uncomfortable?” he asked irritated “Dave? Duncan? People who are jealous?”

“See if you can find a box this big” She gestured with her hands indicating a box that was about 5”x7” “it’s metal and has a bunch of stickers on it.” 

He moved the ‘moon men’ and saw it “I got it” he said, she let out a sigh of relief. “What is in this one?” he asked

“My diaries” she said “These are from when I was… well before I left. These would be really bad in the wrong hands.” She flipped the number wheels on the front of the box to enter the unlocking code. The lid popped up slightly with the release of the latch. She counted them out loud “1, 2, 3, 4” she exhaled. “Whew!” she put her head down on the box “so I guess we just put this all back?” she said relieved that the two boxes were still there. 

“Hey, if you want to, you can keep them at my place for a while, just until you don’t have to worry about someone trying to steal them.” He suggested “no one would know where they were except you and me”

“Are you sure you would be ok with me leaving some of my stuff there?” 

“Yeah, of course” he climbed down with a ‘moon man’ in each hand, he placed them on the floor and wiggled his eyebrows “Someday I hope you have all your stuff there” she didn’t move, a little stunned “besides, I’m going to need that chair” he pointed to the living room “and where are the shoes exactly?”

“I can’t tell you because then we will be late for Nina” she went over to him and put her arms around his hips “but I promise to come back here and show you for your birthday”

He raised one eyebrow “Best. Birthday. EVER!” 

They made their way back to Sebastian’s, he insisted on bringing the Grammy’s and the moon men because “they didn’t belong hidden away in some closet” and “if you aren’t going to brag about you I will!” she decided to just not fight him on it. They weren’t doing anything sitting at her place anyway. He plotted to get the rest of her awards later. 

“Oh hey! Did you see all the gold and platinum albums she has shoved in the front closet too?” Nina said to Sebastian as she picked up one of the Grammy’s and read it “’Best Rock Song’ Oh I remember this one, she thanked me.” She said proudly

“You thanked me when you won, too” Brodie said “also, stop telling him stuff!”

“I’ll make you a deal you let me…”

“NO!” Sebastian and Brodie said together “she’s never gonna let it go, is she?” Sebastian asked putting his head in his hands.

“No” Brodie and Nina said together.

It was time to go to Nina’s appointment. Brodie didn’t realize when he said they were going to take care of Nina, he meant THEY were going to take care of her. He came with them. She loved him even more for it. Nina did too. 

“Ok, I’m gonna be right out here if you need me, you just come get me, or text me, or yell or something.” He said to them as the nurse called Nina’s name. “Wait!” he hugged Nina “You got this” he said

“He’s not real Brodie” Nina said as they walked back to the procedure room “he can’t be real”

“Right?” she said looking back towards the waiting room “I’m starting to believe your serial killer theory” 

“Oh, I thought of this earlier, what if he is an alien?” Nina suggested

“He does like space stuff a lot” Brodie nodded.

The procedure went like it should. Brodie held Nina’s hand the entire time, talking to her and making plans for the show the next night. They were going to cover Patti Smith because New York was her town. Brodie had forgotten that Sebastian’s friends were going to be at this show until she said it to Nina. She had been a little distracted with things. She pushed it out of her mind, vowing to deal with it later and be present for her friend. Once it was over and Nina was resting they let Sebastian come in. 

“Hey, you doing ok?” he asked Nina

“Yeah, just a little sore and tired” she said

“Nurse said I can take you home soon. I think she thinks I’m your boyfriend though she told me how a lot of famous people come here because they are discreet and I don’t have to worry”

“Want me to tell her you’re not” Nina asked

“Nah, it’s cool” he winked at Brodie. 

They went back to Sebastian’s and Nina wanted to go lay down for a while. Brodie walked her to her room even though Nina said she was fine. When she walked into it her jaw dropped open. 

“Holy shit! It’s like a museum of Bucky Barnes!” there were all kinds of fan mementos, from art to bears to books and letters. “Dude! I think this is my room not yours” Brodie said looking around. 

“cool, you sleep in here I’ll go snuggle with Seb” Brodie stuck her tongue out at her

“do you want me to cuddle with you?” 

“No, actually I’m good. Maybe later though.” Nina said laying down

“Ok well, I’ll be right out there if you need anything” she kissed her on the temple “I love you sweet pea”

“I love you too, B”

She walked back to the living room, the shoebox was calling her. She took a deep breath and held it in her hands trying to decide if she was going to open it or not.

“Hey, you ok, you look a little pale” Sebastian walked over to her concerned

“I have to open it” she said quietly “I have to make sure” he nodded. He walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, she had a brief second of thinking shit Nina was right, but then realized it was for the tape on the box. He handed it to her. 

“do you want me to leave you alone?” he asked hoping she would say no

“No. Please don’t.” he led her to his dining table and pulled out a chair for her. She sat and he sat next to her, she carefully cut through the tape took a deep breath in and out and opened the lid.


	57. Third Times A Charm

She couldn’t believe he just left. After everything, he just walked out without a word. She believed they were a team, him and her against the world, but he didn’t want that anymore. She had stayed for him, to protect him. She took on all the abuse so that he could be safe. Walking out the door, the way he looked at her, like she was nothing, less than nothing, was too much for her to accept. She had to pretend he was looking at her like he was sorry, regretful of what she had to endure. She had to, because if Duncan rejected her too, then she was absolutely alone in the world. So, in her head she changed the narrative. Duncan left because of their mother and he went to live with his friend without her because he was in danger. She could accept him leaving to be safe, not because he was embarrassed that his friends had found out his sister was a whore. An actual, stepfather-pimped-her-out-for-money-and-she-would-do-you-too-for-the-right-price-whore, as she had heard him tell their mother.

She went into her room in the basement, if he was gone, she could leave too. She had promised her Nona that she would protect him, no matter what, until he was able to take care of himself. The obligation was over. She quickly grabbed her school back pack and dumped everything in it on the floor, filling it with as much clothing as she could, money she had hidden, her 4 journals and a stack of pictures. She decided to go into the city, she could go there and disappear until she figured out where she would go permanently. She got on the bus to New York.

She was all grown up now, sitting at the dining table in Sebastian’s SoHo apartment. In her hand was the transfer ticket from that bus ride, when she was 16 and finally free. She realized she was telling Sebastian the story out loud. He was holding her other hand and his jaw was clenched tight, angry at her brother, angry that the word whore was used to describe her, angry for her, not at her. “sorry, I just went back to a bad place” she said to him.

“Nope, it’s ok. What else is there?” he tapped the lid

She looked inside it and pulled out a picture “Oh geez, I think I’m like 9 or 10 here” she handed it to him. He saw a younger version of her, so adorable, in her school photo. Her hair was almost blonde and pulled back in a ponytail. She had a smile on her face and she was missing a couple of teeth, but the smile did not reach her eyes. They were wide and sad. “Oh look! This is me and my Nona” He saw an even younger Brodie, very blonde, sitting on the lap of a women about the age Brodie was now. This smile was real and her Nona had her arms wrapped around her holding her close.

“you look like her” he said “the eyes especially” she smiled and shook her head

“I wish. She was gorgeous, look” she handed him a picture of her Nona, she must have been late teens early twenties. “she had all the men after her” she laughed

“yeah, you definitely look like her. Is she your mom’s mom or your dad’s mom?” 

“My dad’s. I haven’t seen him since I was 4-ish?” she shrugged “Couldn’t pick him out of a line up if my life depended on it” she picked up another photo from the box and then dropped it back in. She got up and paced, chewing on her bottom lip. 

“Can I?” he asked gesturing to the box

“I mean, go ahead but you might not want to” she said “they aren’t all school pictures” he wasn’t sure what she meant by that. He picked up the one she had dropped, it was of a man sitting at a table cigarette in one hand, a drink in the other. He was in profile, he looked like he was in mid-sentence talking to the person on his left who was out of frame. Sebastian couldn’t understand it but he instantly did not like him. Then it came to him.

“Stepfather?” she nodded yes. He put it on the table upside down and took out another one. This was one of Brodie and Duncan, standard portrait studio poses. There were many of her at different ages and grades from what looked like kindergarten to high school. One of her mother, he assumed, Duncan favored her. 

The next one made him a little uncomfortable. It was brodie probably early teens, she was asleep? Passed out? Obviously not aware of her picture being taken, wearing very little. She walked over and closed the lid on the box quickly.

“you probably shouldn’t look at any more.” She said grabbing the box and holding it tightly against her. It was the look on his face when he was staring at the last one that made her nervous. He nodded.

“Sit” he said “Sit down” he said more forcefully when she didn’t the first time. She sat quietly on the very edge of the chair. “if you don’t want me to look at them, I won’t, but you need to make sure these” he held up the last one “are all there.” He was worried that he might have to kill someone if they dare tried to publish them because he was sure there were worse ones in there. She nodded and opened the box quickly filing through the remaining. 

“I think so, I don’t know of any that are missing.” She pulled them out and put them aside upside down and looked at the remaining items. A few report cards, some drawings she did as a kid, a letter her Nona had written her, the only thing she had from her, and at the bottom was a picture of Brodie and Duncan the last one taken before he left. Her arms were around his neck and she had her cheek on his shoulder. His arm was around her waist and his head rested on top of hers. This was the picture that she had clung to, this image of her and him together as a team. All she saw now though was the lie. She handed it to Sebastian. She thought about it for a minute and then handed him the pile of pictures she had set aside. 

“all that time I was protecting him, when she was the one that needed it” she tapped the top of the photos he was slowly looking through. She shook her head “I’m gonna fucking burn them to the ground”

“I can’t fucking wait to see it” they smiled at each other. “Brodie, are you sure you want to keep some of these?”

“I’m not sure I want to keep any of these anymore. Maybe the one of me and Nona and Nona when she was young.”

“You should keep most of them, but these…” he handed her three that were definitely disturbing “… need to go” 

“Remember that night at my house, after Robert’s party?” he nodded “the flashback?” he nodded again “I never thanked you for that, and this and everything else. So, thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, doll. I’m glad I was there, that I’m here, that I could help.”

“You are real, right?” he looked at her confused “Like you are for real? Nina and I are not sure anymore because you’re like perfect”

“I’m definitely not perfect, but I’m pretty sure I’m real” he patted himself on his chest, his hips, the sides of his head. She laughed “Maybe I need help figuring that out, wanna help me?” She poked him in the arm, then in the stomach.

“Solid” she confirmed “let me see something” she leaned in and kissed him “hmmm, one more time, I’m not sure” she kissed him again 

“Yeah, you might need to do that again. Third times a charm”

“Right, yes, third time” she got up and sat on his lap and kissed him.

“You know, you help me a lot too.” He said seriously “We help each other.” She shook her head “Hey, I’m serious. You really help me a lot. Sometimes I call you or text you when I am having really bad anxiety and you always make me feel better.”

“Oh. Well I’m glad I help you, but I’m sorry you have anxiety.” She hugged him “I will always be here for you” 

“Hey, I wanna show you something.” She looked at him suspiciously “No really” he got up and grabbed her hand, leading her to his bedroom. 

“Sebastian…” she looked at him again

“Doll, look” he pointed to a shelf with awards, his and hers. 

“What did you do?” she walked over and looked at them. “Oh my god, Sebby. Why?”

“Because I’m proud of you” he smiled, she burst into tears. “Whoa, whoa, whoa” he held her in his arms “What’s the matter, baby doll?” 

“It’s just…” she said between sobs “…very sweet and…” she sniffled “…you can say that…” she sobbed again “…after you just” she pointed to the other room where they looked through the box. “How can you be proud?”

“Because I love you doll” He lifted her chin “You love me?” she shook her head yes “Anything that would change that?” she shook her head no “Well then, that’s how” he wiped her tears away. 

“Sebastian, I …” she couldn’t even think of any words to say so she just kissed him hoping he would feel how she felt. 

“Baby, I want you” he went and quietly closed the door “undress” she did as he asked “Come here” she walked to him, he ran the back of his hand down her cheek “I want you in my bed” he kissed her on the forehead, then he kissed her on the cheek, then the spot under her left ear. “Get in my bed” he demanded. She climbed up as he got undressed. 

He laid on his back and she straddled him. “You want me on top, daddy?” he sat up and flipped her on her back 

“No, I want you under me” he kissed her hard “I want you to say my name” he bit her bottom lip and pulled it “I want you to beg for me…” he grabbed her wrists, one in each hand and stretched her arms long above her head “and call me daddy” he slid his arms down hers all the way to her hips, grabbing them and digging his fingers in “I want you to want me so badly that you feel like you will die if you don’t have me” he bit her neck hard “I want you here, in my bed, in my room, in my home, forever” 

She fisted her hands in his hair, arching her back as his mouth found her left nipple, it felt so good she had to blink twice very slowly to keep sane. She pulled on his hair, he bit down. She whimpered. He moved to her right breast and bit down, she pulled his hair harder. He pushed up so his face was even with hers “watch it” she pulled his head down and bit his lip hard. “Don’t do that again, baby doll” he glowered at her. “say my name” he demanded 

“Sebastian” she moaned it 

“That’s right baby, who’s your daddy?” he grabbed her wrists and held them above her head. “Say it” 

“Sebastian is my daddy” she wrapped her legs around his hips tightly “fuck me daddy” she tried to maneuver him inside her, he was moving so she couldn’t. “come on daddy please” he reached back and unhooked her legs then got up on his hands and knees above her. 

“stay” he got off the bed and she sat up to see where he was going, it looked like it must be the bathroom. She was curious so she slid off the side of the bed to get a closer look. He came back out of the door “I told you to stay” he said raising his eyebrows.

“Sorry I just wanted to see…” he had closed the gap between them and was inches from her face.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay?” he asked again 

“Yes, you did daddy” she looked down “Sorry” she wasn’t sorry because he had that look in his eye, the one that made her stomach flip over.

“I told you to get in my bed and then I told you to stay there” he turned “Don’t move” he said as he went into the closet “turn around” she did what he asked he came up behind her putting his hands on her hips and whispered in her ear “I don’t want you getting away” he held his right hand up he had a several of his suit ties in his fist. 

“you ok with that doll?” he said breaking character because they hadn’t agreed on that yet. “yes, I am with you” he kissed her cheek “you wanna give me a signal word?” she thought for a second “Sputnik” he laughed “Of course” 

He made a knot and slipped one tie around her right wrist. “up” he pointed to the bed she crawled up and laid on her back he knotted the other end of the tie to the headboard. “Pull” she pulled on it and it didn’t budge. He nodded satisfied. He did the same for her left arm. He sat back looking at her, slowly smiling. He lightly ran his pointer and middle fingers from the bottom of her chin down her neck between her breasts down her stomach over her bellybutton stopping right at her hairline. She pulled against the ties shivering from his touch. 

“like that baby doll?” she nodded yes. He ran his palms down her sides from her underarms to her hips sliding them under her lifting her hips kissing her right below her bellybutton. She couldn’t really move anything but her legs so she bent her knees and tried to push her hips up closer to him. He removed his hands from under her and grabbed her ankles pulling her legs straight “No baby, don’t do that” it was driving her crazy already that she couldn’t do anything but let him touch her the way he wanted to. 

He straddled her hips careful not to put his full weight down on her. His dick was fully hard and she could feel it resting on her lower stomach as he leaned over her on all fours. He kissed her on the mouth, then pulled up so she couldn’t reach him, she tried to lift her head but couldn’t get very far. She sighed frustrated. He leaned down and kissed her again, but just as he deepened it he lifted up again. 

“Damn it, Sebastian!” she was desperately trying to pull one of the ties loose. 

“Problem, baby doll?” he was smiling

“Yes, I need you. Kiss me please.” She begged him. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe to calm down. He started kissing her all over starting with her face and moving slowly down her body. He was working on covering her left thigh with kisses “Daddy, Sebastian, please” she was breathing heavy and he was enjoying watching her chest heave up and down rapidly. “Please, I can’t take it anymore, please…” he spread her legs, bending her knees to open them wide. Then went back to slowly kissing her left leg inch by inch.  
“Please, I can’t… please” the last one was a whimper

“What’s wrong baby?’ he said sympathetically “what do you want daddy to do for you?”

“Please, I need you inside me” she begged him desperately 

“You ‘need’ me inside you? Or?’

“or, I’m gonna die from the …” she realized that was what he said he wanted “please, Sebastian, please, you can have me here, you can do whatever you want, please, I need you so badly, I can’t live without you, please, please, please…” 

“That’s my smart girl” he got up on all fours his hands on either side of her chest, his knees between her spread open legs. “I can’t live without you either. Say my name…”

“Sebastian’

“… beg me…”

“please, please put your dick inside me”

“… call me daddy…”

“Tati, daddy, please”

He moved and put just the head of his dick inside her “you’ll stay in my bed?” she shook her head yes “forever?” she shook her head harder 

“I don’t ever want anyone else, to be anywhere else, just with you, here, Sebastian please, I love you” He smiled and pushed himself deep inside her. “oh yes, thank you” she whispered

“you are so ready for me” he said in her ear “god damn it, baby doll, you’re so wet” she pulled against the restraints “I love you so much, cum for me, scream my name”

She came hard and yelled out “Sebastian”, she came again when he pulled out completely then quickly thrust back into her, she called his name even louder, then on the third time she screamed it. He came so hard that for a brief second, he thought he might have passed out. He laid on top of her unable to move. Suddenly he felt her arms wrap around him, he grunted. “remind me to show you a better knot” she whispered and they drifted off still entwined.


	58. No Need To Fuss Over Me

She dreamt that she was walking in a forest barefoot she kept stepping on these sharp things that would hurt her feet, a rock, a stick, a thorn, but she couldn’t stop going because she knew if she did then he would never find her. She tried to call him but she couldn’t remember how to say his name and then she couldn’t remember who it was she was trying to call. Maybe she should just stop, what was the point? She didn’t even know what she was looking for anymore. She sat down and leaned back against one of the big maple trees. The leaves instantly turned from a summery green to red, orange, yellow, brown and then a gooey black tarlike substance that dripped down like rain. “You just ruin everything you touch, don’t you?” she heard a voice say somewhere in the distance “no, I don’t mean to. I don’t want to…” “you better hope he doesn’t find you because you’ll ruin him too” the voice said. Oh right, right she was looking for him, he was looking for her, what was his name again?

She awoke sitting straight up saying “Sebastian?” and she felt around for him. He wasn’t there. She blinked trying to remember the dream and figure out where she was all at once. She heard them laughing in the other room. Nina and Sebastian, she was in New York at his place, and she smelled pizza. She got up and saw her bag, she grabbed some clothes and her bag of toiletries and ventured into the bathroom. Nice, she thought, he certainly had good taste. His place was neat and modern and male, but not cold. It looked like him, smart, super stylish but classic, warm and inviting with a little bit of dorky here and there. Damn it, this room smelled like his cologne. Oh yeah, there’s the bottle right by the sink. She picked it up and smelled it. She wondered briefly if he would miss it if she took it with her when she left, but then put it back. She wanted him to wear it when she was here, maybe when she was leaving. 

She got cleaned up, making sure not to move anything or make a mess. She threw on shorts and a t-shirt. She put everything back in her bag including the clothes she had taken off earlier. Then she looked at the bed and decided to fix it. She couldn’t remember exactly how he had it because she honestly was occupied with other things when she first saw it, but she did her best. She removed the ties on the headboard and smiled. He was so adorable, she thought, how did she get so lucky? She straightened them out and folded them neatly leaving them on top of the comforter. She sighed looking around making sure she left the room neat and all her stuff was put in her bag, satisfied she went out to join them in the other room.

“I smell pizza, tell me you left me some” she walked over to the couch behind Sebastian and bent over kissing the top of his head, then went over to Nina and kissed her on the top of her head. 

“Hey B!” Nina looked up at her “I had pizza but he waited for you, so there is plenty” Brodie looked over at him

“you didn’t have to wait; you should have woken me up. Sorry, I slept so long” He got up and motioned for her to follow him

“No worries, I wanted to wait and you looked so relaxed, I know you’ve been on that bus for weeks. Besides,” he said putting his arm around her shoulders pulling her in close “I like having you in my bed” he wiggled his eyebrows. He led her to the pizzas, there were 2 large ones on his kitchen counter. “Emily called, she wanted to know if it was ok if she came here for you to sign papers, she thought it would be good no one would see you going into her office. Plus, she has some stuff for me so I said it was ok, ok?” She nodded yes taking a huge bite of pizza. 

“when?” she asked, mouth full so it sounded like ‘whhnn’ it made him laugh

“Around 5:30” he took a bite from the slice she was holding. Normally that would make her mad but for some reason it was sweet when he did it. 

“ok, my lawyers were all for it and it looked good to me. You ok that we will be under the same manager for a little while?” He nodded yes

“I’m just glad you’re getting away from the asshole you have now.” Nina came in looking for more food

“Aw, you’re not an asshole Seb. Alien? Maybe. Serial killer? Most likely, but at least you’re polite before you…” she made stabbing motions

“What the fuck is she talking about?” he looked at Brodie. She shrugged

“drugs, they gave her lots of drugs” she gave Nina a look that said ‘shut up’

“huh, where am I? Oh, look pizza!” she went to grab the slice from Brodie 

“Mine!” she pulled it away “You know I’m like Joey on Friends, Brodie doesn’t share food” Sebastian took a bite because she held right in front of him

“Hey, yell at him” Nina pointed

“No, I only share with Sebby” and she let him take another bite.

“ok, I knew you guys were a thing but this is true love if she didn’t kill you when you drank her coffee and now, she’s sharing food.” He smiled looking very pleased with himself Brodie shushed her. He hugged her from behind. 

“Now if I can get her to meet my mom, because she wants me to bring you over on Sunday for my birthday.” Brodie almost choked on the pizza she was eating. 

“Should have quit while you were ahead Seb” Nina tossed over her shoulder as she walked back to the living room plate full of pizza.

“Your birthday is on Tuesday” she said trying not to panic

“I know, but my mom wants us to come over on Sunday” he tightened his grip and kissed her cheek “So she can meet you” she tried to pull away “Nope, not getting away that easy doll” He said holding her tight. “I know you have a show tomorrow night then a night off, Sunday, and then a show on Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday you said we are going somewhere. So, no excuses” 

“Damn it, who told you my schedule? Stupid past-me! I need to learn to shut up.”

Brodie wanted to change before Emily arrived but Sebastian told her it wasn’t necessary; Emily knew it was casual. Brodie still felt a little self-conscience so she went and put her chucks on so at least she was wearing shoes. She was always nervous before signing documents and business stuff in general. It always made her feel stupid. She liked Emily, Sebastian trusted her and she was being really careful about not letting anyone find out about their association, Brody was really grateful for that. When the doorbell rang, she jumped. 

“Easy doll, I’m here with you” Sebastian squeezed her hand once and then went to answer the door. 

“Chill B., you look like you’re going to bolt at any second.” Nina looked at her concerned “If you don’t want to do this you don’t have to”

“No, I want to, I guess I just don’t trust my gut anymore.” She got up to greet Emily “Nina you’ll tell me when I’m ruining him right?”

“What are you talking about? Seb? B, that boy is in deep with you…” she could see it was only stressing her out so she changed tones “I promise B, I will tell you.” Brodie took a deep breath and walked to the front door next to Sebastian.

Emily introduced them to the man she brought with her, one of her assistants named Glen, who was a Notary. He smiled at Brodie holding on to her hand way too long after shaking it. Sebastian didn’t seem to notice. So, Brodie dismissed it as nothing. Emily greeted Nina as they moved to the table for business going over to shake her hand telling her that she was a big fan of hers and if she ever needed anything to let her know. Nina thanked her and told her she might just be calling soon. 

“See” she said playfully elbowing Brodie “You’re already bringing me potential clients”

They went over the contract briefly; Brodie had already read it thoroughly and had e-mailed any questions or changes she had. Her legal team had approved it telling Brodie she was getting a really great deal. They signed everything as Glenn instructed. He had taken her ID and wrote down the information in a notary book. He made a joke about getting her number for personal not professional reasons and Brodie looked to Sebastian who still seemed oblivious to the flirting. Maybe she was overthinking it, she thought. 

Once it was signed and Emily was officially her manager, she quickly got down to business with Brodie. “I want you to think about who you want to talk to when you go public, anyone in mind?”  
“I mean Oprah, but, that’s not really an option.” Brodie laughed

“Why not? I know she doesn’t have her show anymore but you never know, she might be interested in a special thing” Brodie just shook her head

“I think Oprah has bigger and better things to concentrate on than me. I guess, Robin Roberts? I like her, she seems nice.” Brodie shrugged

“Alright I’ll put out a few feelers see what we get. I’ll make you a deal, I get Oprah and you sign on permanently with me” Brodie raised her eyebrows in surprise “Look, I may have fibbed that I would happily let you move on, I intend on making you very happy so you stay with me.” Brodie laughed.

“Dude, you get Oprah and I’ll let you adopt me, after I come to from passing out that Oprah would even know I existed.” 

“How can anyone refuse time with you, beautiful?” Glen said leaning in a little closer.

“I don’t know, maybe if her boyfriend would break your legs if you hit on her one more time?” Sebastian said very casually. 

“Oh, you two…” Glen gestured between them and Brodie nodded “… sorry man, I didn’t know” he said to Sebastian 

“Don’t apologize to me” he nodded towards Brodie

“Sorry, Brodie. I didn’t realize you and him, the age difference, sorry.” Glen said

“I accept your apology” she said and shook his hand. She looked over at Sebastian who was watching carefully but calmly.

“Alright Glen, I’ll see you at the office on Monday” Emily dismissed him. “Sorry, he’s newer and if I see him pull that shit again, he’s gone” she apologized to Brodie as Sebastian saw Glen out. 

“No worries. He said he was sorry.” Brodie waved it off, the age difference thing stung “Do you have any ideas about a publicist?” she changed the subject

“Uh, yeah I do. I want you to meet with, hold on, let me find her card, here” she handed it to her “Olivia is great, I’ve worked with her a few times and I think she would be a perfect fit” Emily checked her notes “you have an assistant you are happy with?” 

“Yes, Terri comes with me. I fired her as far as anyone thinks, she’s been laying low helping me here” 

“good, good, give me her information I’ll make sure she has everything she needs.”

“Emily, can I ask you, what is tiff all about? Sebastian asked me to be his date and I have no idea what it entails.” 

“He did, huh? Well, it’s a film festival in Toronto, big deal, lots of press and it showcases upcoming films. For Seb it will be for ‘Endings, Beginnings’ so you will go walk the red carpet, watch the movie like at a premier and do a lot of press, or he will do a lot of press. You will probably be bored watching him answer the same question over and over, but there you go.”

“Do I have to dress up and all that? Because honestly, I like to, but I never know what to wear”

“You don’t worry about that, we will get you a stylist and have you all ready to go.” 

“ready to go where?” Sebastian came back to the table

“Tiff, you asked her to go with you so she needs to be ready” Brodie suddenly had a flashback to the hotel room before Comicon and how a million people were fussing over Sebastian 

“Uh, I don’t really have to be all fancy or anything, no need to fuss over me.” she said

“Doll, it’s just for one night so let them fuss over you.” He kissed her cheek “or go in your pajamas I don’t care as long as you’re there with me” she nodded knowing damn well she was going to let them fuss so she looked good for him. Emily and Sebastian started talking about his schedule so Brodie got up and went to check on Nina.

“How are you feeling” she asked sitting down next to her, putting her head on Nina’s shoulder. 

“Not bad actually. Sore but I’ve been worse off. How are you?”

“Me? I’m fine” she shrugged “I have a new manager who bet me she could get Oprah to interview me.” She laughed 

“Whoa, if she gets you Oprah, I am definitely calling her. It was really sweet of Seb to do all this. He is unreal in a good way.”

“I was thinking maybe I’m really in a coma and this is all a hallucination?” she thought about it for a second and then said “Nina if I’m in a coma and this is all a dream, just pull the plug because real-life could not get any better than this”

“Brodie, what did you mean by ruining him?” 

“It was a dream I had, I was looking for him and everything I touched rotted and then a voice said that if I found him, I would ruin him too” she couldn’t remember details just the feelings from the dream. 

“B, it was just a dream and your dumb ass brother’s voice in your head trying to pull you back in. Don’t listen to it.” Brodie nodded

“But, if I do start to mess him up, you’ll tell me, right?”

“Yes, I promise, and if he starts to mess you up, I’ll kill him” 

“He put my Grammy’s up on a shelf in his room with his awards, he said he was proud of me”

“He put ‘em next to his Oscar?” she asked

“No, he doesn’t have one, yet”

“Really? Not even for the ice skater one?” Nina said genuinely surprised

“no, I know he was so good in that one. Robert doesn’t have one either so I think the votes are rigged”

“Robert doesn’t have one either?” Nina shook her head in disbelief “Fuck the Oscars and…”

“…I know and Captain America, too” they laughed. 

Emily said goodbye to them, telling Brodie she’d be in touch and Nina that she looked forward to her call. She kissed Sebastian on the cheek and left. He said he had a couple of things to take care of really quick and went in the other room while Brodie and Nina continued to watch movies curled up on the couch together. They were watching ‘The Outsiders’ and arguing over who was the better-looking Curtis brother. Nina was firmly for Rob Lowe’s Sodapop and Brodie had a longstanding crush on Ponyboy, played by Tommy Howell. Nina teased her it was because she had a thing for young guys. 

“He was older than me when this came out!” she argued. The doorbell rang and Sebastian called to her to please answer it.

She opened the door not knowing what to expect and came face to face with Charles, she recognized him from skyping with him and the few pictures Sebastian had around.

“Hi!” she said surprised to see him “Charles, right?”

“Yes, Brodie?” she nodded yes smiling, she hugged him.

“Sorry, I’m just really happy to finally meet you and I had no idea you were coming over and I’m a hugger” he laughed 

“I had no idea you were here and I’m really happy to meet you finally, too. Bring it in!” he opened his arms wide and she jumped in them.

“What the fuck?” Sebastian had walked up “oh, hey Charles” he started laughing 

Brodie let go of Charles and he and Sebastian hugged. “I didn’t know you were coming by” Sebastian said 

“Yeah, I thought I’d just stop by and see if you wanted to grab some food, but I guess you’re busy” he looked towards Brodie

“We have pizza, stay” Sebastian told him. He looked at Brodie again

“Please stay, Charles.” She smiled widely at him fluttering her eyelashes at him.

“It’s not Jersey pizza, is it?” he said with a sneer

“sadly no” she said looking down, Sebastian was shaking his head no and mouthing ‘not in my house’ behind her back “Next time though” she said quickly

“Ok, I’ll stay” he said to Brodie and signaled relief to Sebastian. 

“Hey, I get to get hugs from the new guy too!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Charles this is my friend Jennine Porter.”

“Hi, I’m Charles” he hugged her too “I’m a huge fan”

“Thanks Charles, call me Nina.”

Sebastian was sitting back watching two of the most important people in his life get along. They were laughing and talking animatedly about everything from music, to politics, to books, and food. He realized he was glad that Charles liked Nina too, like it or not she had become pretty important to him too. 

When they got to stories about Sebastian, he jumped in. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s enough” as Charles started to tell them about what he was like when he was young. 

“Shush, Sebby. I’m listening to Charles” she said waving off his protests. 

Charles laughed “Yeah Sebby, shut up”

“How long have you and Seb been friends?” Nina asked

“Since we were kids” he said 

“Oh, you have to tell me every embarrassing thing he’s ever, ever done” she rubbed her hands together.  
Sebastian used the opportunity of Nina and Charles occupied to pull Brodie into his bedroom for a few minutes. “come here doll” she looked at him suspiciously “I just want to ask you something” he crossed his heart in a promise. She let him pull her into his bedroom. “What is going on here?” he gestured to the room 

“What? Did I do it wrong?” she looked around

“No, you didn’t do it wrong. I’m just wondering why you cleaned up like a guest or something”

“Because I am a guest.” She said confused

“Doll, did you treat me like a guest at your house?” 

“No, yes, I don’t know, did I?”

“No, you didn’t, you acted like I was supposed to be there and I want you to feel that way here.”

“Ok” she said quietly

“Here” he pulled a key out of his pocket and handed it to her “for you so you know you can always come over” she took it from him and held it tight in her hand

“Thank you.” She kissed him softly

“You’re welcome. Just so you know, you are the only girlfriend I have ever given a key to.”

“Nah-uh, you cannot be serious” she shook her head not believing him

“I swear, I have never lived with another person. I mean they’ve stayed over and stuff but I never lived with anyone and no one ever had their own key” she blushed

“why me?”

“Because you’re mine, and I love you, and I don’t know we just…” he shrugged trying to find the right word

“We just fit.” He nodded “I love you too.” She hugged him “You better be careful though; my boyfriend will break your legs if he hears you hitting on me”

“Ugh, that guy was such a dick!”


	59. Such A Good Man

Early Saturday morning Sebastian woke up to his alarm, he had to go to the gym. Training for the winter soldier had intensified his work out schedule. He hit snooze and rolled on his side, she was there, in his bed. His bed, not a hotel or at her place but here with him. She was sleeping on her right side facing him. Her left arm exposed, the tattoo that gave him an excuse to meet her glaring at him. She always talked about how good he smelled, but she smelled like heaven. Her hair smelled like some kind of fruit. He didn’t know which one but he loved it. Her perfume was light; flowery, but airy not heavy and fit her perfectly. He could drown in it he loved it so much. He loved to come up behind her, wrap his arms around her middle, put his chin on top of her head or nuzzle her neck and smell her. 

She always acted like he did so much for her but she was the one that actually saved him. He was so fucking lonely before he met her and it had started to get to him. He had thrown himself into work which helped for a little while. His past relationships were like anyone else’s; some good, some bad, he had nothing bad to say about any of them, they just didn’t work out. He was moody and dark sometimes, he knew. There was always a pressure to be successful, work harder, don’t spend so much time at work, don’t take too much time off, either he was too ambitious or not ambitious enough. 

When he met her, he figured ‘fuck it, I’ll never have another chance to flirt with her.’ He thought she would either tell him to go fuck himself or think he was amusing enough to flirt a little back. When she agreed to dinner, he thought he would at least get to have a conversation with her, and maybe they would be friends. When she texted him because he was having an anxiety attack, his focus changed, he wanted her in his life, by the time she was dancing at the club with Tessa, he wanted her in his bed. She somehow knew when he needed to laugh and when he needed her to listen to him, when he needed to feel loved and cared for and when he needed to feel wanted and desired. 

She opened one eye and frowned at him. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I’m just trying to figure out what kind of fruit your hair smells like” she laughed

“I think it’s mango and papaya? Wait, maybe mango and pineapple? I don’t know something tropical” she shrugged “why, is it making you hungry?”

“Kinda, but not for fruit” he winked

“Don’t you have to go lift weights or do push-ups or something?” she said as he moved closer to her. He groaned, looked at the time, then sighed 

“damn it” he kissed her and got up to get dressed “What time do you have to go to work?”

“Uh, sound check is at 5 o’clock so I should be there at 4:30ish. Are you coming with me or do you want to just get there when the show starts?”

“I’m coming with you” he said as he walked into the bathroom. She closed her eyes trying to decide if she should go back to sleep or get up. She was drifting off when she felt him sit on the edge of the bed, she looked and saw he was putting his shoes on. He was wearing long shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt with a baseball cap. 

“How long are you gonna be gone?” She asked 

“Uh, couple hours, why?” he waited for her to be irritated

“Because I’m trying to decide to get up or sleep more and if you said soon, I would be dragging my lazy ass up but since you said a couple hours then…” she made a snoring noise 

“Let your sexy ass sleep” he leaned over the bed and kissed her temple

“I said ‘lazy’ ass, ‘sexy’ ass doesn’t have to work until 5” he chuckled 

“I love you, doll.” He kissed her again

“I love you, too. Go be winter soldier, I speak for all the Bucky fans, we NEED this! Go!” she pointed to the door.

He got in the elevator smiling. It made him feel so happy that she understood his work, respected it, knew how much he had to put into it. She put just as much into her own. When he had told her the night before that he still had to go to the gym even though it was a Saturday, she raised her eyebrows and said “to get like civil war ripped or winter soldier hotness? Wait, are you going with long or short hair?”

“Short, which do you like better?”

“Me? I like you with long, short, totally bald, whatever, I’m just trying to picture it in my head” she closed her eyes and threw her head back and made a growling noise. 

He knew that he was considered good looking now, but sometimes when he looked in the mirror, he still saw younger him. That awkward kid, a little chubby, with the weird accent that got picked on and definitely did not attract girls. Last night, Charles had told the story of when he had asked a girl to dance and was so surprised that she said yes, he had just stood there for a few seconds with a shocked look on his face. Brodie had leaned in whispering ‘that’s how I felt when you asked me to dinner’ in his ear. He had gone from awkward kid to the man Brodie called daddy, his smile widened. 

Now she couldn’t sleep. He had left as she snuggled in ready to drift off until he came back but the nagging feeling from the stupid forest dream had her tossing and turning. Fuck, she thought, why won’t it go away? She knew it was her own head messing with her. Her therapist had told her that when these old messages came up, she needed to tell herself they were just passing thoughts, reminding herself that they were lies not who she really is. She got up and decided to take a shower and get dressed. Sebastian had insisted that she put her make-up and toothbrush and stuff in the bathroom, she stopped him from making her completely unpack reminding him that she had her own place a few blocks away and she was only here for a few days. It was too much work she had whined. 

She thought about the key he had given her. She had this keychain somewhere that was the winter soldier and she laughed to herself imagining the face he would make when she showed it to him. Damn it, he gave her a key to his place. She tried to think of anyone else who had done that, Robert for sure. Nina when she had a place but lately, she had been kinda nomadic. Duncan. She shook her head to get rid of the sick feeling she got when she thought of the confrontation that was to come, thinking nope, I’m not going to let that ruin this milestone with Sebastian. Let’s see who else? David, but they were married and they had moved into her place so technically she had given him a key. 

She wondered if David was in on the whole thing. He had been acting kind of weird lately. He was very supportive of her but at the same time withdrawn from the entire group. He had said it was personal problems and she had dropped it, but now everyone was a suspect and she was fucking Sherlock Holmes. She checked the time, too early to call Robert, she texted him that she thought of Sherlock which made her think of Cumberbatch and how he would have been lovely disguised as a woman and how terrifying that other idiot from the movie was which made her remember she hadn’t talked to him that week. 

She moved to the kitchen, stopping at the door to the room Nina was in, checking on her. She was asleep and looked much better. Coffee, coffee, and more coffee she thought. The doorbell rang. She opened the door not knowing if she should or not, she didn’t live here after all, and there stood Sebastian’s mom. She recognized her from the pictures Sebastian had around everywhere but even if she hadn’t seen them, she could see the resemblance her son had to her. 

“You are Brodie?” she almost said it more like a statement than a question 

“Yes ma’am” she squeaked out

“I am Sebastian’s mother” she pronounced his name like say-bass-tea-on

“yes, ma’am please come in, or um, of course come in, not that you need my permission ma’am.” 

“Please don’t call me ma’am, my name is Georgeta” 

“yes, ma’... uh, Georgeta nice to meet you. Sebastian isn’t home right now, he had to go to the gym. Please, make yourself at home while you wait for him. Can I get you anything? Coffee or something?” 

“Coffee would be lovely” Brodie was suddenly very aware of what she was doing, what she was wearing (old cutoff shorts and a black t-shirt, and barefoot damn it). She was a guest in this woman’s son’s home and she wasn’t sure how much of a hostess she should be. “I’m not here for Sebastian, I’m here for you.” Brodie swallowed hard trying not to look too terrified.

“Please have a seat” she gestured to the table. Georgeta sat comfortably as Brodie made coffee trying not to have a panic attack (Mama just killed a man, put a gun against his head) She brought the coffee to the table with two cups and the sugar bowl and some creamer.

“Thank you” Georgeta said. 

“You’re very welcome. Can I get you anything else?” please don’t ask for anything I don’t know where anything is, she silently begged.

“No, this is perfect” Brodie tried not to let the fact that her hand was shaking show as she poured the coffee. 

“what can I do for you ma’am, I mean Georgeta?” 

“Well Brodie, I hear you have been dating my son, for how long now?” 

“Uh,” god she hoped Sebastian told her the truth “like 3-4 months, I think” 

“That’s what Sebastian said, you are very important to him so I just wanted to meet you and see what you were like without him buzzing around.” She waved her hand around like she was swatting a pest

“Um, sure of course. I understand. What would you like to know?” 

“Well, first of all Sebastian says we used to ride dinosaurs together? I don’t remember this, perhaps we met somewhere else, the celebration for the invention of the wheel or when caveman Ivan discovered fire?” Brodie tried not to laugh but couldn’t stop herself, damn she was sharp, she thought.

“I’m so sorry I hope you didn’t take that as an insult” 

“No, I didn’t. I thought it was quite funny” she smiled at Brodie

“I um, I have a problem with sarcastic comments.” 

“No problem for me, I like sarcastic comments, especially when they are clever. So, tell me, why do you think Sebastian has not introduced us yet?” 

“uh, well to be honest, he wanted to. I have been a little resistant, I just, I …” 

“…were nervous to meet me?” she finished for her.

“yes ma’am, and also I have been on the road with my band, but mostly scared to meet you.” 

“May I ask why are you are so scared to meet me?” 

“Well, Sebastian loves you very much and he values your opinion on everything. If you don’t like me, it doesn’t matter how much he does because I wouldn’t ever put that strain on him or you.” She took a deep breath, now was the time to lay it all out “So, um. Georgeta, I love your son. I might not be the best person in the world, I have a past, not always a good one, probably never a good one. I have an ex-husband, we married young and stupid, we still work together. I’m tattooed from my neck down including one on my arm of your son, or the character he plays, I had it a long time before I met him” she lifted her sleeve to show her “I don’t know if that makes it better or worse” Georgeta leaned closer to inspect it nodding “I’m sarcastic and I swear a lot, especially when I’m nervous. There is a big age difference, I’m 15 years older than him. But I promise you one thing, I love your son very much. I would do anything for him, anything. Even walk away if you think I’m not good enough for him.” Georgeta was staring in the same intense way her son did. 

“So, you were scared I would not like you because of your past, your tattoos, your vocabulary?” Brodie nodded yes “you worried I would think you were too old for him, tell him I disapproved and you would have to stop seeing him?” 

“Yes ma’am” Georgeta nodded, she was quiet for a bit, sipping her coffee then looked directly at Brodie

“Tell me Brodie, what is it that makes you love my Sebastian?” she asked finally

“Well, there are a lot of reasons, but I would say the top five things are: he’s kind without even trying, he just, it’s just who he is. He’s smart, he thinks he isn’t and people underestimate how smart he really is because he doesn’t show it off but he is really thoughtful and intelligent. He’s funny and a bit goofy in an adorable way. He treats people with respect, not just what are considered important people but like the serving staff and his fans and the homeless guy on the corner whose name he knew and asked how his doctor appointment had gone, and, he’s vulnerable. In the best way, not weak, but brave. Brave enough to show his feelings.” Brodie looked down at her coffee and took deep breath. 

Georgeta was quietly contemplating what she had just said, she started to tap her leg up and down afraid she had blown it already. 

“Brodie look at me” she looked up, Georgeta reached out and covered Brodie’s hand with her own “All I want for Sebastian is someone who loves him for who he is, cherishes him, challenges him, and makes him a better person and in return he does that for them.” She raised her eyebrows at Brodie in a question asking if she understood. Brodie nodded yes “I don’t care what the package that that comes in looks like, how old it is or what it went through to get here. You don’t have to be the best in the world, just the best for him” she patted her hand “You just named 5 things off the top of your head about my son that didn’t have anything to do with his status or his bank account or what he looks like.” Brodie shrugged like it was a given “If he doesn’t marry you, I’m going to disown him and adopt you.” Brodie chuckled in relief

“Ok, but my birth certificate is a stone slab, it’s kinda heavy” she joked

“Psh” Georgeta waved her hand dismissing her comment “Mine is a picture on a cave wall in France” Brodie laughed at the joke that it was in the earliest known pictographs in history. 

They smiled at each other. “you will come to Sebastian’s birthday?” again it was really more of a statement than a question 

“Yes, thank you I would love to.” She paused she should just quit while she was ahead but she wanted to be honest “Georgeta, I should probably tell you that I’m going to publicly tell what happened in my childhood soon. It’s not pretty and…” Georgeta held her hand up

“I know, Sebastian told me enough, no details but enough to know what is happening. I know how hard it must be for you, you are a very brave woman.” Brodie shook her head no. “Someday when you feel comfortable with me you can tell me all about it, until then just know that everyone has things they think are the worst and will make people run from them, but then you find the right people who see past it and you know that they are your real family.”

“I think I’m finally understanding that, took me a while. Thank you for coming here to talk to me, and thank you for giving me a chance, but mostly thank you for raising such a good man.”

“You’re welcome, now how do I get tickets to see your show?” Brodie laughed

“That I can help you with”


	60. His Whole Heart

“What? What do you mean? My mom came by?” he wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly. How long had he been gone for fuck’s sake? He had come home excited, knowing she would be there. When he walked to the door, he could hear her singing inside. He could get used to this, he thought, this is like a life you dream about. He went inside and found her sitting cross-legged on his couch headphones on, her phone in the right hand a pen in her left hand, notebook in her lap. She had her eyes closed and was singing a song that sounded familiar to him but he didn’t know the name of it. He couldn’t hear what was on the headphones, he just heard her “They can’t hurt you now, can’t hurt you now, can’t hurt you now” she opened her eyes and saw him standing there. He swore her whole face lit up, he didn’t care if he was imagining it or not, he was going with her face lit up when she saw him.

“Hey doll” he said when she took off the headphones “whatcha doing?”

“I’m making sure I have all the words down for this song for tonight” she pursed her lips for him to kiss her, he bent down and did

“It sounded so familiar what is it?”

“’Because the Night’ we’re doing Patti Smith tonight and Blondie on Monday” Ah, that was it, he thought, his musical exposure had tripled since he met her, sometimes it was hard to remember the titles to all of the songs she made him listen to. Some he really liked, listening to more by that artist and some were a little too weird for him. She loved this band called Bauhaus and insisted he listen to all of their songs. She laughed when he had told her he just couldn’t listen to anymore because they kind of scared him. She sent him songs by Peter Murphy, and some from Love and Rockets, different projects from the members of Bauhaus, he had like them both and she said he had a pass on the scary stuff. 

“I thought you were going to sleep more while I was gone” he said leaning down to kiss her again

“I was but I couldn’t shake this dream I had the other night so I got up and got dressed, good thing too, because your mom came by” he said ‘what?’ about three or four times

“Your mom.” She poked him in the chest, looking at him with wide eyes saying it slowly so he would understand “Came by.” She pointed to the door “to meet me.” She pointed to herself

“What happened?” He looked concerned 

“We had a fist fight, she won this time but I already called for a rematch” Sebastian sighed and sat down hard next to her “It was good, I really liked her and I think she liked me too” she smiled at him.

“Really?” he asked cautiously “you liked her?”

“Very much, she’s really funny and smart” he looked at her “I think she liked me; she was happy when she left.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek “I got her set up so she can come to the show tonight. She is kind of excited about it” she said surprised 

“I’m so glad that you liked her.” He said rubbing his hand down his face “I told you she was a fan of yours too”

“Of course, I liked her, she made you. The question was if she was going to like me.”

“No Doll, my question was always if you would like her. I knew she would like you because you make me happy and I’m in love with you. She already liked you when I told her about you, how I feel about you. I was worried that maybe you wouldn’t like her and …”

She felt guilty that she was so weird about meeting the most important person in his life because of her own insecurity. She could see by the look on his face how much he had been stressing about it. “I’m sorry, I was scared to meet her because I knew if she didn’t like me then this” she gestured between them “Would have to end. I wasn’t really confident that she could like me at all”

“Why wouldn’t she doll? You’re very likable”

“why would she? My own mother didn’t how could someone else’s?” Now he felt a little guilty for not realizing that. He nodded. 

“So, she just showed up here?” Brodie nodded Sebastian rolled his eyes “Damn it. What did you do?”

“Panicked, then made her coffee, sang Bohemian Rhapsody, and answered all her questions truthfully. I figured I owed her complete honesty since, you know, I have been defiling her son for a few months. I think she liked my answers because she said she would get rid of you and adopt me.” He laughed “I love how she says your name though”

“In a Romanian accent?”

“Yes, I like it, Sebastian.” She said it the way his mom pronounced it “it’s very hot” she wiggled her eyebrows at him. He blushed, everyone had told him he needed to pronounce like an American, so he changed it.

“it’s very hot when YOU say it that way” he leaned in close “who’s your daddy doll?”

“Sebastian” he kissed her and she scrunched up her nose when the brim of his baseball cap hit her forehead. She reached up and took it off him, his hair was damp with sweat.

“Come on baby doll, daddy wants to play with you” he stood up and held out his hand. She jumped up putting her hand in his.

“I love when you play with me daddy. What are we gonna play?”

“Shower, because I’m dirty from the gym” he bent down to pick her up

“oh, dirty, that’s my favorite”

“I know” he said throwing her over his shoulder “Mine too!”

Brodie looked at her e-mails while Sebastian was on the phone with his friend Paul. He was giving him details about coming to the show at the Garden. She hadn’t interacted with him yet but she knew who he was from ‘I, Tonya’. She opened an e-mail from Olivia the publicist Emily had recommended. It asked her to call when she got it, so she picked up her phone and dialed the number.

“Brodie, thanks for calling. I wanted to touch base with you. I know Emily said that she was interested in us working together so I was doing some preliminary exploring of opportunities and I came across something interesting. I was wondering why you have a strict policy against media interviews?”

“Um, I do? Do I? I mean I’m not very good at them but I don’t have a rule against them or anything. I do whatever they set up for me, but I don’t go looking for them either.”

“Hmm, interesting. I know Emily had said you expressed an interest in Robin Roberts?”

“I mean she seems nice. I don’t really know a lot of reporters or stuff like that. I’m actually pretty out of the loop on all of it. I just do what they tell me to really.”

“Well, I had a private conversation with her this morning and she told me that they have been trying to get you on the show for a few weeks because of the tributes you do. They have been very aggressively seeking you out for an interview”

“Um, this is the first I’ve heard of it” she tried to think if there had been any talk about it, she had been a bit preoccupied and trying to avoid JD but she couldn’t think of him or anyone mentioning it.

“well, would you be willing to do an interview? Maybe Monday or Tuesday while you are here?”

“Not Tuesday, but any other day sure. I need Tuesday free It’s important” She looked over at Sebastian laughing on the phone across the room. She felt bad enough she had to work the night of his birthday, she wasn’t planning anything else, period. 

“So, we’ll say Monday or Wednesday?”

“Sure, Wednesday night I will be in Virginia I’m doing a show with Joan Jett” she said it quietly so he couldn’t overhear. “it’s a surprise to Sebastian”

“Oh, that could work good. Maybe we can get Joan too. Ok great I’ll set something up and let you know” they hung up. Brodie just stayed where she was, thinking. Her eyebrows were knitted together and she was chewing her bottom lip.

“Everything ok Brodie?” Sebastian asked covering his phone with his hand

“Yeah, I guess I have a publicist now.” She said trying to sound upbeat

“Good” He knew something was bothering her. She looked seriously pissed off. He finished his conversation, then went over to sit by her. He didn’t say anything because he knew her well enough now that she would say it when she was ready. She was usually ready faster if he just stayed quiet. 

“New publicist said that I have a strict no interview policy, that Good Morning America has been wanting to interview me, that I said no.” He looked at her shocked “Yeah, exactly. I want to be mad but, on the other hand I let him run it. I hate all that stuff so I ignored it. I put my trust in all the wrong people, but not anymore.” She grabbed his hand “Robert’s been trying to tell me for years, if you tell him he was right I will hurt you, but he was right. Whatever, it was all worth it if that’s how I had to get to you, even if you are a serial killer, I don’t care”

“Aw I love y… wait! A what?” Did she say ‘serial killer?’ he thought. She laughed standing up and walked in the other room to wake up Nina.

He thought this part of her was fascinating. The woman he loved, Brodie, his doll, was the one who he woke up next to this morning, she was there when he came home from the gym, she was the one he had pressed up against the shower wall, her legs wrapped around him, his dick inside her. She was the one who made sure his mother had a private car, an all access pass, and a security escort to the show like she was a queen. When he saw his mom at the Garden, she had quickly kissed him on the cheek and said “where is my Brodie?” He had taken her in to the VIP room where a group of his friends had already gathered and were in the process of being charmed by his girl. Brodie immediately made a genuine fuss over her. If she didn’t have his whole heart before she sure as shit did now. But this part, where she was standing back stage, all the VIPs out in the arena waiting for the show, standing feet wide apart fists clenched at her side eyes narrowing in a focused stare, she was someone else. 

He understood it. He had his own process to get into a role, to become a character. He just never thought of a musician performing as being a character. He always thought they were just the same on and off stage, he knew differently now. The 20,000 people about to watch her for the next 2 hours were infatuated with that character, he was once too, but now he was in love with the woman who played her. She turned and winked at him smiling that was his woman, she grabbed the guitar from the tech put the strap over her head and said “Alright, let’s fucking get it over with” that was the world’s Brodie.

He went to join his group of friends. They all had a great time enjoying the show, Brodie was on fire. Earlier that day right after sound check she had gotten an unexpected visitor, Patti Smith herself. He had watched her have a full-on fan moment; it was adorable. She had been practicing one of Patti’s songs when she walked up and Sebastian thought she had held it together pretty well considering. He was the only other one who knew what was going to happen during the encore. When the band played their last song of the main show, he started to feel second hand nervous for her, but he had no doubt she was going to kill it. 

Brodie went backstage to change for the encore, Nina was waiting for her. She looked good but Brodie asked her anyway “You feeling ok?”

“Actually, yeah I do. I thought I might be worn out but I’ve had worse periods.” She shrugged

“Well, then we go with plan A, I’ll do ‘Because the night”, you do “Gloria’?” Nina nodded Brodie had to stop herself from ruining the surprise. She loved Nina so much and she knew she needed something good to happen. “Ouch! Damn it!” She was talking to Nina, being dressed by wardrobe and trying to drink some water, while make-up was fussing with her and someone had pulled her hair trying to fix it. “Nina, I hate this” 

“I know B, you say it every night. I love you” Nina helped her by holding the water bottle up to her mouth while she was putting her arms in her sleeves. “Just think, Madison Fucking Square Garden! We used to dream about this” Brodie smiled

They walked out holding hands Brodie had gone for black shorts, fishnets, black heels, tight black t-shirt with the words ‘I just really love Sebastian Stan’ in bold letters, and a black long-sleeved cropped suit jacket buttoned over it. She planned on taking the jacket off later when she wasn’t behind the piano. Nina kissed her on the cheek as she went to grab her guitar that was on a stand at the far end of the grand piano Brodie had sat at. 

“Hey New York City!” Brodie said in a flirtatious tone and winked at the audience “You ready for a little more?” The crowd cheered “Ok, get ready because it’s night and we all know night belongs to lust” Nina growled into the microphone and made Brodie laugh “This is for Patti Smith” and she began the opening piano riff for ‘Because the Night”. It was just Brodie and Nina and even Brodie had to admit it was really good. At the end they were both pumped for ‘Gloria’ Brodie grabbed her guitar and the guys came out on stage to join them. 

Nina moved up front and Brodie stood at the piano for the opening. Nina started with “Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine…” when they were midway into the song Brodie had walked up and was playing guitar with her left thigh pressed up against the back of Nina’s right leg, when she sang the line “And I got this crazy feeling that I'm gonna ah-ah make her mine” Brodie thrust her hips into her at the ‘ah-ah’ part. Nina took the prompting and started to sing it to Brodie they faced each other at the microphone. Each time the song said “ah-ah” they sang it together. Brodie stood legs wide playing, she got as close as she could lean in to Nina when she sang “G-l-o-r-i-a” Brodie sang “Gloria!” When the song slowed and Nina sang “They're singing, ‘Jesus died for somebody's sins…” she grabbed Brodie by the back of the head and kissed her hard “…but not mine” and for the rest of the song instead of spelling G-l-o-r-i-a she spelled “B-r-o-d-i-e” which made Brodie laugh and blush shaking her head. 

When it was over and the crowd had died down a little Nina said “Sorry Seb, couldn’t help myself” into the microphone. Brodie took the opportunity to hand off her guitar to the tech and take off her jacket with her back to the crowd, when she turned around Sebastian blushed and the crowd went nuts. It was the first word from either of them publicly that they were together. She stepped to the microphone and Nina prepared for the usual last song but did a double take when Brodie said “I can’t believe I am about to say this, I hope somebody is fucking recording this, New York City, the one, the only, the mother fucking queen PATTI SMITH” and she walked out on stage. Nina almost passed out.

Patti went over to Nina and hugged her kissing her on the cheek. She told her she thought she was amazing and loved how she just did Gloria. Nina just nodded star struck. Patti turned towards the audience and waved with both hands walking up to the microphone where Brodie was standing. She hugged Brodie and kissed her on the cheek too. Brodie bowed and gestured to the microphone, then stepped back to grab her guitar and stand next to Nina. Patti counted off and they started “People Have the Power”. Brodie and Nina smiled at each other like two kids who just got permission to have all the candy they wanted. Out in the arena Sebastian had the same smile plastered on his face. She just let the world know that she was his.


	61. We Have Already Paid Up

“I met Patti Smith and played on stage with her, right?” It was the 28th time Brodie had asked him that, “I did too, right? or were we having a twin hallucination?” 32nd for Nina. It was easy to keep count because they just kept saying it over and over. They were riding in a chauffeured car to a club to meet his friends and celebrate his upcoming birthday after the show. He had stuck around to be with Brodie even though she tried to insist he go with his friends and she would meet him later. 

“Look, I’m gonna show you the video one more time…” He opened his phone, again.

“How do we know you’re not part of the hallucination?” Nina eyed him suspiciously. She was sitting next to him and Brody was across from him facing them. 

“Ok, no more for you!” he took the tequila bottle from her hand. 

“Alright I believe you, my hallucinations never take away the tequila. Gimme” 

“It scares me that you know that” he handed it back to her

“Look what I found” Brodie was holding up her phone with a picture of them on stage with Patti on Instagram. She looked back at it scrolling “Sebastian!”

“What?” she held up her phone again with a picture he had posted of himself shirtless at the gym. She was fanning her face with her hand.

“Damn it I can only like it once! Am I allowed to comment on this or do I have to just privately drool over it? Dude! I need this picture; you send it to me right now!” Nina leaned forward to look at it, she grabbed the phone from Brodie.

“Fuck me! Seb I gotta say, (Growl)!” she handed the phone back to Brodie “I can comment on it” she pulled it up on her own Instagram and started typing. He looked at Brodie she looked scared. Nina handed him her phone so he could read it ‘If you think the outside is perfect, you should get to know his insides, best fucking human being ever!’ He shook his head and blushed then hugged her. She kissed him on the cheek “thank you for everything” she whispered in his ear. Brodie watched them and sighed, it made her happy that they really liked each other.

Every other relationship she had was always tense when they were with other people, she always felt like she was… wait, her thoughts stopped and took a turn. She always felt like she was an embarrassment. That she was a walking disaster that dragged everyone down, ‘wounded everyone around her’ was what Duncan had said he had always called her a ‘walking disaster’, then JD had called her that. That’s when Dave got angry. Dave knew something, she could feel it. 

“Hellllooooo, Brodie!” Nina was waving her hand in front of her face “You ok?”

“Huh? Yeah, just dead from this picture” she joked

“Really? You get to see it in person all the time. God damn, those abs! He has serious arm porn here.”

“Yeah, and everyone was all ‘don’t worry about the age thing’ I’m supposed to be comfortable naked around that, look at him. It still floors me every time I see him” he looked up turning bright red

“Again, teenaged self, head exploding, time machine” he said dramatically holding his arms out.

They had arrived at the club and were getting out of the car when Brodie remembered “Hey wait do I get to comment or not?” he helped her out offering his hand

“I think the t-shirt was comment enough for now…” he pulled her in his arms “and this…” he kissed her as a bunch of cameras went off. “…and for the record” he whispered in her ear “I’m fucking floored every time I see you too”

“Fine, Nina said what I was gonna say anyway” She pretended to sulk but couldn’t help smiling.

What in the fuck was that noise that was stabbing him in the head? he thought as he woke “Fuckingturnoffyouralarm.” Brodie mumbled next to him. He tried to open his eyes but he couldn’t, he felt her climb over him, the retched noise stopped. “thank you” he sighed. She laid her head on his chest as he finally opened one eye partially. He had no fucking clue where he was. He squeezed his eyes tight trying to remember. All he could come up with was shoes. Fuck it he put his arm around her and fell back asleep. 

The next time he woke up he reached over for her and the bed was empty, he opened his eyes and looked around. He was at her apartment; he looked to the other side and saw his phone. He reached for it looking at the time, 9:56, shit. Wait, it was Sunday, no gym today. Why was he at her place, why was her bed so small? Oh yeah! It came back to him, shoes, the chair, he smiled even though his head was pounding. He closed his eyes and recalled her on the chair wearing only the shoes, calling him daddy. Crap, now he had a hard-on, where was she anyway? “Brodie?” he croaked out, he cleared his throat and called out louder “Brodie!” he listened and heard movement in the other room. Sitting up he called her again “Brodie!” 

This time she answered “What?” 

“Where are you?” he whined laying back down to stop his head from throbbing. She came in the room fully dressed holding a paper bag.

“I went to get you some aspirin, you said your head hurt.” She sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “I didn’t have any so I went to the store downstairs and I also got you…” she dug in the bag “…this” she held up a doughnut. “Cheat day!” 

“I love you so much right now” he reached for her “how are you not hungover?”

“nope, you need to take these first” she held out her hand with the open bottle of pain reliever. “because I am a road musician, hungover is my homeostasis” He shook out two pills, she took the bottle and handed him an open water. She made sure he took them, placed the cap back on the water and set it on the nightstand, then kissed his forehead. He fell back asleep, she tucked him in smiling. “God I’m so in love with you” she said to him as he softly snored. She had read the caption he had left on the shirtless picture over and over. He wrote about judging himself and struggling mentally. Her heart hurt for him but she was so fucking proud of him too for posting it, and although she had joked about it, it had nothing to do with how pretty he was. Nina had nailed it; he was the best fucking human being. 

He woke up again feeling much better, not great, but better. He felt for her but the bed was empty. This time he got up, he smiled at the water on the night stand and opened it drinking the entire thing. He liked when she fussed over him. He stretched looking for his clothes, of course she had them neatly folded on a chair for him. He heard her talking to someone quietly so he strained to listen, she must be on the phone because he only heard her voice. He put his pants on and walked out to the other room. She looked up from her laptop, phone at her ear she mouthed ‘sorry, too loud?’ he shook his head no and pointed to the door behind the kitchen he signed ‘bathroom?’ and she nodded yes.

“well that means once we do that, it’s like pulling the trigger, right?” she said as he emerged from the tiny bathroom. Didn’t she say that her great-grandparents lived here with 10 kids? Dang! He thought. “No not necessarily, I’m just wondering how quickly it will all go down now” she looked at him “so when should I say something to… ok. yeah, thanks.” she hung up the phone

“everything ok?” he asked looking for the doughnut 

“Emily…” she shook her head “…it’s right there” she pointed knowing what he was searching for “I can’t even wrap my fucking head around it” she looked annoyed

“What?” he said taking a bite.

“Emily just called to tell me…” she couldn’t finish, she threw her hand up shaking her head in disbelief.

“What?! Tell me!” he said impatient, expecting the worst.

“She fucking got Oprah” a slow smile spread across her face and she laughed “I’ve been her client for less than 48 hours and she’s already done more for me than JD has in, like, ever” He swallowed hard, standing still, the doughnut halfway to his mouth “Fucking Oprah! I can’t, it can’t be real” she got up and started to pace. “Sebastian!” she held her hands out palms up in a question

“Brodie!” He did the same and then laughed. He put the doughnut down and picked her up spinning her around. “I am so happy; she will do such a good job with your story” He kissed her

He tasted like glaze and chocolate frosting; she would forever associate that taste with this moment. “Um, ok but one tiny, itty bitty detail” he cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows “she might have told Oprah you would maybe talk to her a little too” she said scrunching up her face. He sighed and put his hands on his hips

“Absolutely not, I will not…I can’t even finish it. Of course, I will, it’s Oprah!” He went back to his doughnut.

“What even is my life right now?” she said sitting back down. “something bad is going to happen” she started to panic a little.

“Brodie, stop. You sound like me. My therapist tells me I’m being superstitious, nothing bad has to happen for you to get something good, its not a swap one for the other.”

“My therapist says that I associate the bad with the good because I don’t feel worthy of love and kindness. Ooooo, dueling therapy.” She narrowed her eyes at him “Is yours a man or a woman?” 

“Man, why?” he side-eyed her.

“Mine is too, I was just wondering” she laughed. “Anyway, he is right. Mine. About me.” He took her hand and pulled her to standing 

“Brodie, maybe we both deserve good because we already had all the bad. If it is a trade, then we have already paid up.” He didn’t talk about it often but she knew about his childhood, too.

“You know what? I think you are right. That’s why we finally found each other.” He smiled nodding yes “Ok well we just therapied each other so I guess send me a bill?”

“Let’s just call it even.” He thought about it for a second “Wait, no! I changed my mind. I want my payment over there” he pointed to the chair. 

“Awww, too late. But I am willing to take a down-payment for future sessions” he pumped his fist in triumph. 

Georgeta lived on the Upper East Side, which made Brodie laugh because that’s where Gossip Girl was set, but also made perfect sense because Georgeta was elegant, no other neighborhood was good enough for her. When Brodie told Sebastian this, he rolled his eyes and said “she knows!” 

“Maybe she can be on the Real Housewives Sh…” he stopped her holding up his hand

“Don’t start with that again! She just stopped saying it!” Brodie laughed. “You think it’s funny now but wait until she starts in on it!” Georgeta and Nina had bonded sometime the night before, she had invited her to come as well. He pointed at her “Don’t even think about it trouble maker!” she threw up her hands in surrender, then winked at Brodie when he wasn’t looking and Brodie nodded in agreement. 

“Seb, are you getting tired of having to escort me around too?” she asked him to change the subject

“No, why?” he was immediately suspicious

“No reason, but look if you want to make this a trio, just say the word.” Brodie rolled her eyes, they loved giving each other shit, suddenly she missed Robert.

“Ok, let’s do it” he said seriously “I’ve been thinking about it and I think we should”

“What?” Brodie and Nina said in unison 

“And now you both know how it feels when you make teenaged me’s head explode” He said as he opened the door of his mother’s apartment building for them. 

“Oh, it’s on now, big man” Nina said as she walked past him. Brodie punched him playfully in the stomach and glared at him. He smiled pretty damn proud of himself.


	62. Not Even A Flinch

They were the first to arrive, Georgeta went straight to Brodie hugging her, telling her how wonderful she was the night before. She then hugged Nina giving her the same praise. She turned her attention to Sebastian her face lighting up. She spoke to him in Romanian lavishing him with motherly affection. Brodie watched them closely, she had never seen them interact. She thought they were like a fairy tale come to life. They were just so comfortable and relaxed. 

She touched his cheek, he hugged her tight, they walked into the kitchen, his arm around her shoulders, her’s around his waist, talking animatedly to each other. Brodie followed them carefully trying not to break the spell that they were obviously under. Nina came up next to her, in the same state of awe, she held Brodie’s hand. This is what it’s like to have a mother, was what they both were thinking. Georgeta was showing him something she was cooking, his face showed surprise and delight as he attempted to stick his finger in the bowl, Georgeta lightly slapped his hand laughing. Brodie and Nina looked at each other, their eyes saying ‘what is this strange scene they were watching?’

Sebastian, smiling ear to ear, turned to see them standing in the doorway. Brodie had the same wide-eyed look he had seen in her school photo, sadness and longing were the words that came to his mind. He motioned for them to come closer, they both shook their heads quickly. He stepped closer “Come on, come here” They looked at each other Brodie shrugged, Nina chewed her bottom lip, they looked back at him. He had the brief image of someone trying to coax a terrified deer out into a clearing. Suddenly, his mom pushed him aside. “Come girls, I need your help” she said gesturing for them to come in. 

Within minutes Georgeta had all three of them doing busy work, arranging things on platters, folding napkins and Sebastian, specifically, reaching for things on the high shelves. Georgeta placed her hand on Brodie’s shoulder gently and said “Excellent! Good girl!” Brodie looked from the hand on her shoulder to the approving face, smiling so sweetly and shyly that Georgeta’s heart squeezed for a beat. She grabbed her chin in her hand and said “You are my star student” and she kissed the top of her head. Brodie fell in love with her that second. Georgeta walked into the dining room where Nina was, she put her arm around her shoulders and said “Amazing, you’re so talented!” Nina looked down and blushed wildly “Gold star for you!” she squeezed her tight. Georgeta, in less than a minute, had earned the undying love of them both.

Georgeta asked Brodie where she studied piano, looking at her with the same confused look that her son often had when she told her she didn’t technically studio piano.

“You have never had a lesson?” Brodie shook her head no. “Never?”

“No ma’am” Brodie shrank down.

“Come, follow me” She said it in a teacher voice, Brodie felt 5 years old again.

“Yes ma’am” they entered Georgeta’s piano room, she motioned for Brodie to sit.

“Play something, anything you want” Brodie played the first thing that came to her head, an Alicia Keys song she had been practicing ‘If I Ain’t Got You’. She automatically started to sing but then stopped “Go ahead sing it” Brodie hesitated for a split second but Georgeta’s stare snapped her into performance mode. When she finished, she waited quietly for a review.

“You have a lot of bad habits” Georgeta told her “They slow you down and make your playing choppy, but we can fix them and you will play even better than you do now” Brodie nodded eager to learn. 

She showed her posture and hand placement. Georgeta placed her hand on her forehead in horror when Brodie told her she couldn’t read music. She nodded saying “we will start at the beginning then” she quickly wrote out some basic scales on paper. Marking the letters under the notes she had drawn. “Memorize these, C Major, say the notes in your head as you play each one. C, D, E, F, G, A, B, C” she demonstrated “got it?” Brodie nodded eagerly, “then these, D Major, D, E, F#, G, A, B, C#, D” she smiled at her “Just two to start then we will go from there.”

“Yes, ma’am” Brodie would obey, no question.

“Brodie, no ma’am, Georgeta. Also, your voice? Like an angel” she patted her cheek like she had done to Sebastian.

Brodie sat at the piano dutifully practicing the scales that Georgeta had assigned her. She was determined to have them flawless for her. It had nothing to do with her being a mother she wanted so badly, she told herself, it was all about her being a piano teacher and Brodie wanting to learn. She heard others starting to arrive but keep going.

“Doll, come on, come join the party.” Sebastian had been watching her for a few minutes from the doorway. “You can practice later” he walked up behind her putting his hands on her shoulders, she looked up at him. 

“Ok, I lost track of time” she smiled at him “I want to do a good job”

“Baby, I know, but I want my girlfriend at my birthday party”

“Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry. I want to be at your birthday party” she got up and stretched he put his arms around her middle while her arms were up above her head, she brought them down around his neck. He looked at her biting his bottom lip like she was a meal and he was starving “Don’t look at me like that” she warned “Sebastian, stop” he smiled a lopsided smile that made her dizzy.

“Give daddy a kiss” he leaned in closer “Come on, Baby” he touched his lips to hers barely making contact. She felt all the blood in her body rush between her legs. She tried to pull back but couldn’t help herself, she opened her mouth slightly and licked his mouth slowly. He tightened his left arm around her middle, putting his right hand behind her head pulling her mouth to his. He kissed her like his life depended on it making her weak from it. She could feel him hard against her, it was beyond her control at this point, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted, she thought. He moved his mouth to her ear “you know I want you all to myself, I was just fucking around earlier. You are mine and only mine.” He bit her ear lobe “tell me”

“I’m yours” he bit her below her ear “Only yours” he moved down to the nape of her neck “Sebastian, promise …” she couldn’t say it, it was too painful to even think of the possibility while she was in his arms. He leaned back and grabbed her face in his hands looking deep into her eyes.

“What do you want me to promise? I’ll promise you anything baby doll.” she shook her head

“Never mind, I don’t want to… I can’t. forget it” she stepped back away from him afraid if he touched her, she would start crying “Come on it’s your birthday party, your mom is gonna notice you are gone” 

She walked into the living room to join the party. She didn’t know why that awful image had hit her brain. She knew he was kidding and she knew Nina would never do that to her. She had never felt jealous or possessive about any man because none of them had ever mattered half as much as he did. Not one, not even the man she promised to be with ‘til death. The voice in her head, the one that hated her, told her it was time to push him away, but she knew it was way beyond that point. She was in it no matter what, even if he hated her, she would never get over him. She suddenly understood what he must have been feeling when the whole Evans thing had happened.

He walked up behind her putting his arms around her. He whispered in her ear “Brodie I love you. I’m yours” she nodded “Brodie” he said it sternly “You know I would never …” she turned around to face him “I know, I do, I love you too” she kissed him on the cheek “it’s just the voice in my head.” She smiled at him “She gets loud when things are going too well” he nodded in understanding “But she’s never been up against my ‘Susan’” she winked 

“How many times do I have to tell you, my name is Sebastian” he joked

“Oh right, right. I’m sorry, Stuben, Sebubal, Sabbatical, what is it again?” 

“Just call me Daddy” he winked 

They were dropping off Nina at Brodie’s place. She announced she was feeling fine and wanted out of the ‘love nest’ but would be back there for breakfast. 

“You did change the sheets, right?” Nina sneered

“Yes, dude, you watched me do it. Thanks for your help by the way” she said sarcastically because all Nina had done was poke around Brodie’s clothes and shoes.

“I’m just making sure. Maybe I’ll just sleep on the red chair”

“Uh, you might want to put down a towel or something” Sebastian said as he walked by them with Nina’s suitcase.

“OH! Come on! I love that chair.” She frowned “why?”

“I loved that chair” He said standing next to Brodie “Now I really LOVE that chair” Nina pretended to vomit

“Brodie, you just let him” she pointed to it “violate the chair?”

“No, I let him violate me while I was on the chair” she cuddled up next to him and kissed his neck.

“Besides it’s my chair now, Brodie gave it to me for my birthday” She looked at him confused

“I did not give it to you” she said pushing away from him

“Yes, you did. When we came to get the boxes, I said I needed to have the chair and you said I had to wait for my birthday”

“No, you asked me where the shoes were that went with the chair and I said not now, but I would show them to you for your birthday and we could do stuff on the chair”

“Right, so the stuff I wanna do is: pick up the chair, bring it over to my place, put it in my bedroom and do stuff.” He was laughing as he said it. He tipped his head down, looking up at her thru his lashes, biting his bottom lip. She rolled her eyes and sighed. He leaned in closer until their noses were touching “please?” and he made a sad face.

“Oh, for fucks sake! Give him the chair! How can you say no to that boo-boo face?” Nina said sliding to the floor playing dead.

“Ok, fine” he hugged her hard as she stayed limp then leaned over and high fived Nina who miraculously came to life. “and don’t think I don’t know what you two are doing there” she pointed to them both “The whole ‘just let him have the chair’ sad face thing, Robert and I do it much better” She turned and walked into the bedroom and called Robert

“Hey Darling, sorry I haven’t gotten back to you, been busy, you still in New York?”  
“Yes, Nina and Sebastian just tried ‘Poor Robert’”  
“Did you cave?”  
“Yes, and I knew what they were doing too!”   
“We are way better at it.”  
“That’s what I said!”  
“What did they get?”  
“The chaise lounge in my apartment”  
“Well, at least it will free up some space for you”  
“I guess, how are you and the kids and Susan?”  
“We’re all good. I saw the Patti Smith thing, very cool”  
“I’m still not sure it really happened, but it was awesome”  
“I liked the shirt; you plan that out?”  
“I got it at Comicon and figured I would wear it at some point, but not really”  
“Did Seb know?”  
“No I surprised him with it. He hasn’t really said much about it but it’s been a little busy the past couple days. I met his mom”  
“How did that go?”  
“Good, actually great. I like her a lot. She called me ‘fetiţă’ today which Sebastian says is like daughter-in-law. Weird and scary, but he took it like a pro, not even a flinch” she laughed  
“Well, he is an actor” he laughed “Darling you two are in it for life, the sooner you just accept it the sooner you can get on with it”  
“I’m getting really fucking tired of hearing my words come back at me in a much less articulate dialogue.”   
“Less pompous, more relatable?”  
“did you just call yourself ‘less pompous’?”  
“yeah” he sighed “It felt so…dirty” they both laughed  
“Robert, I signed with Sebastian’s manager Emily and she asked me who I wanted to tell my story to and I joked Oprah, because well, Oprah.” She paused still trying to wrap her head around it.  
“Oprah is going to love you. She was really great to me when I was released from prison.” he said figuring out what she hadn’t yet said.  
“I can’t believe it. I mean, Oprah” she just laughed “Oprah!”  
“I’m really proud of you Brodie. I know this is going to be hard for you. I’m here when you need me, but I’m expecting Seb has got it covered.”  
“Yeah, but you know, I always need someone to keep my ego in check.”  
“No that’s what you do for me, you need someone to tell you the truth. Look at you with your very own Susan”  
“Yeah except he insists on me calling him Sebastian”  
“What? Doesn’t he know that he is required to change his name? I mean Myrtle over here has grown to love it” Brodie heard Susan in the background yell “Hi Brodie! Love you!”  
“Tell her I love her too.”

When Brodie and Sebastian returned to his place, she told him about the conversation with Robert. “he tried to call himself less pompous than me” He laughed. He was looking around the living room like he lost something. “What are you looking for?”

‘I was just wondering if we got you a piano, if we should put it in here.” She blinked and shook her head

“why would you get me a piano for your living room?” she said holding up her hands palms up.

“Well, do you have one here? I didn’t see one in the other place” he asked like she was the one talking nonsense

“Uh, no. I don’t have one there it’s too small. I go to the Magic Shop if I need to” he looked at her confused “The Magic Shop is the studio we use here”

“Well then if we get one here then you won’t have to go there if you get inspired in the middle of the night or something” he shrugged

“Sebastian, that’s really sweet, but if I’m at my place I still have to come here” he looked at her like she was completely insane.

“Why would you be at your place?” 

“Because I live there?” she said slowly

He waved off the suggestion “Only until I maneuver all your stuff here. Then you’ll just slowly forget about leaving”

“So, you’re what? Planning to move my things in one by one until I’m brainwashed to think I live here?” He nodded yes “You…, Sebastian you can’t just say stuff like that?”

“Why not?”

“Because it sets up an expectation, I mean I know you’re kidding, but then if you keep saying it, it like becomes a thing.”

“I’m not kidding, doll. I gave you a key, I’ve never given anyone a key before. You take as long as you want, or pick a new place, but we are gonna move in together.” He kissed her on the forehead and went into the bedroom to change.


	63. The Fine Print

He walked into his bedroom. He probably should have asked her to live with him instead of telling her, he thought. The problem was, he was terrified. He really never had lived with anyone before. He just never felt the want to until now. What if he asked and she said no? What if the fact that he just told her she had no choice made her say no? He turned to go back into the living room and she was standing in the doorway. He took a deep breath, but she spoke first

“Sebastian, you can’t just tell me ‘we will live together’ and then A. walk away and B. not even give me a say.” She pointed to the bed “There, yes, you are in control. But major life decisions have to be made together”

“I know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to control you. Ok, maybe I was, but not like that.” He sighed “Brodie, I’m terrified that you might not want to live with me. That you would say no if I asked. Now I’m terrified that you will say no because I didn’t ask.” He looked at her pleading her to put him out of his misery. She instantly felt the need to hold him close so she wrapped him up in her arms as he put his head down on her shoulder. 

“Listen Sebastian, I’m not saying no, I’m just saying give me a chance to wrap my brain around the idea. There’s all these changes and I just need to process it all, ok?” He shook his head, still on her shoulder, yes. “you do know that I’m moving here to be with you, right?”

“Yes, I know. It’s just having you here, hearing you sing to yourself all the time, knowing when I walk in the door you’re going to be here, and I’m gonna get to wake up next to you, makes me so happy. I can pretend that I’m coming home from a long day at work, you’ll be here writing songs sitting at the piano and then you’ll look up and see I’m home and your face will light up and you’ll jump up into my arms. I can imagine that we have time together, that we have a life together.”

“God fucking damn it.” Was all she could think to say, her heart overwhelming all thought process. She kissed his shoulder, his neck, he lifted his head and she kissed his cheek. When their mouths met that electric shock feeling that happened when they first touched skin to skin raced through them both. “Sebastian” she said it as a plea. He answered by pulling her shirt over her head and then his own. He kissed her hard, while undoing her bra, tossing it aside. He pressed his chest against hers needing to feel her heart against his. 

“Just us baby, just you and me this time” he said she nodded in agreement as she tried to take her shoes off and undo her pants. “I got it” he whispered tugging on the button and pushing her pants and underwear off her hips, she stepped out of them as he took his off. He wrapped his left arm tightly around her waist and lifted her up walking to the bed. He put his right hand against her right cheek, and touched his forehead down on hers. “My Brodie” she just looked in his eyes trying to figure out what that feeling that had just enveloped her was, she didn’t know, but it was the best feeling.

Early Monday morning, Sebastian already off to the gym, Brodie was woken up by her phone ringing. She looked at the number, Olivia her new publicist

“Good Morning Brodie, and on Wednesday Good Morning America”

“Wow, really? That will be… scary but awesome.”

“You will be fantastic! They are very excited to have you on and they are going to interview Joan as well, then they are sending out a film crew to get footage in Virginia, that will air on Thursday’s show.” 

“Olivia you have seen or at least heard about how dorky and awkward I am in interviews, right? I mean, I just want you to be prepared, do not get your hopes up that I won’t say something stupid.”

“What are you talking about? You’re amazing in interviews, you’re very natural and authentic. You come off as very honest. People love that about you. You are a real person and real people respond to that. Which is why the Oprah thing is going to put you into the stratosphere, if you just be yourself with her, your message is going to hit hard and impact a lot of people. Which brings me to my next topic, I know we just started working together and haven’t even met face to face but it would be helpful for us both if you could give me some idea what you might be talking about with Oprah. We can work out what you want to say and kind of finesse how to say it so that it is a clearer statement. Would you be willing to do that?”

“Uh, sure yeah. I guess I’m going to have to get more comfortable talking about it, so yeah.”

“Great, thank you for your trust. I talked with your PA Terri, I know you have been trying to keep her hidden but you are really going to need her ASAP. Lovely woman, by the way, I did a little bit of digging on her and she is highly recommended, so good job snagging her. I will have my assistant set up time and place with Terri and I will see you soon.” Olivia talked so fast and gave so much information in such a small amount of time, Brodie felt like she might have missed half of the conversation. She texted Terri

B- Operation low profile is coming to an end, I expect Starbucks and details on how your trip was with Danny. Also, would like to meet Danny at some point.  
T- I had no idea we had named it. Lol. When and where?  
B- Wednesday, early, GMA.   
T- (gif of Bucky Barnes saluting)  
B- (gif of Captian America saluting)

She heard Sebastian unlocking the front door and jumped out of bed, throwing on a shirt and went to meet him at the door. He was wearing his usual workout gear, baseball cap, long shorts, but the shirt had her bands logo on the front, a tour shirt. He was wearing his earphones the little black cord snaking from just below his chin where the two sides from his ears met, to his right-side pocket where his phone was. He was balancing two Starbucks cups in his left arm and maneuvering his keys in his right. He stopped when he saw her, they smiled at each other, she reached out, gently tugging on the cord until the earphones dropped out of his ears. “What you got there?” she said gesturing to the drinks. 

He put his keys down and handed her one of the cups. “For you” he held it out, slightly bowing like a knight would. She grabbed it with both hands 

“Thank you, kind sir” she curtsied “how was your workout?” she asked as he kissed her hello walking towards the bedroom to shower.

“Good, bad, you know” she followed behind him. She could see the list of tour dates and cities on the back of the shirt

“Nice shirt, I hope you didn’t buy that. I have like a box of them somewhere” he sat down to take his shoes off and looked up at her

“Of course, I bought it. You’ll be glad to know the workers at the merchandise booths don’t give away stuff to people who claim to be the singer’s boyfriend” he said sarcastically

“Lead singer, and good to know, but you could have asked me, I have an in.” she winked

“Oh good, could you get me a date with the hot chick that plays the guitar and sings?”

“I think you’re capable of doing that all on your own” she sat on his lap, he pulled her close “I was gonna ask you, when I talked to Robert he asked me what you thought of my shirt. I told him you didn’t really mention it”

“The I love Sebastian Stan one? I loved it. It made me really happy that you wore it so everyone would know that you love me. Where did you get that anyway?”

“Comicon. Also, I may have ordered some other ones on the internet late one night when I was drunk and missed you” he looked at her curious

“Which one’s?” he had seen a lot of them at different Cons. It always made him smile. She hopped up and dug through her bag. 

“I have a couple in here” she held up one that said ‘lol you’re not Sebastian Stan’ and then one with ‘Okay but Bucky Barnes Though’ and finally one that said ‘On your left’.

“That last one is Cap’s line, not Bucky’s”

“I know, but ex-boyfriend and all…” she shrugged, he shook his head at her lifting one eyebrow in disapproval. “I told you it was late at night and I was” she made a gesture of drinking and then crossed her eyes while she swayed around. He laughed.

“Wanna share the shower with me doll?” he wiggled his eyebrows

“Always.” She followed him into the bathroom “Hey Sebastian” she pronounced it like his mom did “I feel like you missed a huge opportunity by being called ‘Seb’ instead of ‘Bazzzzz’” He looked at her his face scrunched up “No, it’s way cooler like Basil Rathbone or Basil of Baker Street from The Great Mouse Detective”

“Or Basil the plant” he said deadpan

“Only if you pronounce it ‘bay-sill’” she mocked “’Baz-ill’ or just ‘Baz’” she was making jazz hands every time she said it. He thought, I love this weirdo, to himself.

“OH! OH! Wait for it…” she spread her arms wide “Bastian” 

“No.” he said curtly 

“Fine, but I think I’m gonna get Baz to stick” he rolled his eyes as they got into the shower

“You are insane, you know that?” he laughed at her

“Dude, I have never denied or tried to hide that fact, you needed to read the fine print before you signed on to this” She gestured to herself

“There’s a fine print? I’m gonna have to search for that…let me see” she laughed as he started scanning her body, lifting her arm, and turning her around, bending down to look between her upper thighs. “Oh, oh I think I see it, let me get a closer look” he bent her over forward “There it is!”

Brodie and Sebastian arrived at the Garden for the second New York show. As much as she tried to discourage him from wasting his time at sound check, she really loved having him around. They had just walked into her dressing room when there was a knock at the door. Sebastian was closest so he opened it to Stephanie and David, she looked at him and couldn’t speak.

“Go on” David said to her. Hearing his voice Brodie turned around.

“Hey! Steph! Come in, I didn’t know you were here” she hugged her and Stephanie started shaking “What’s wrong?” Brodie looked at David

“Stephanie has something she needs to tell you both” he nodded to Sebastian “go on Stephanie”

Brodie let go of her and looked her in the eye “Steph whatever it is you can tell me, us. There’s nothing you can say that will make me stop loving you. Go ahead” Stephanie looked up at Sebastian and started to cry. Dave stepped forward and put his hands on her shoulders for support.

“Go ahead, just tell them” He said gently

“I told my friend Zoe that you were dating him” she said looking at Brodie and pointing to Sebastian. “she said I was a liar because of the pictures with Chris Evans, she told everyone I was a liar, so when Jeremy showed me the picture you sent him with you guys together I asked him to send it to me.” She started to cry again “and I…I showed…Zoe…” 

“You sent it to her?” Brodie asked gently

“Yes” she sobbed harder “Then she sent… it to… everyone!” Brodie looked at Sebastian he was looking sympathetically at Stephanie. Brodie hugged her tightly

“Then one of those people put it on the internet.” Brodie guessed “It’s ok sweetheart, it’s ok” she looked at Dave he mouthed ‘sorry’ he then looked at Sebastian throwing up his hands shaking his head. Sebastian just smiled at him and shrugged. “Steph, look at me it’s ok. I am not mad at you. Sebastian are you mad at her?”

“No, not at all. Not even a little bit” he patted Steph on the back a couple of times. She looked at him making sure he wasn’t mad. 

“thank you for telling us. Sweetheart I need to talk to your dad about something real quick ok?” Stephanie nodded “why don’t you go get something to drink and go splash some cold water on your face, alright?” Once she had left the room Brodie turned to David “Thank you for encouraging her to tell us. I thought Jeremy had released it”

“I figured you would, once she told me what happened. I just wanted you to know he didn’t have anything to do with it and you can trust him” The way he said it confirmed what she had been suspecting.

“David, you know, don’t you?” she looked him in the eye, he sighed

“I do. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how.” Sebastian was watching the exchange quietly “Brodie, I’m sorry. I should have.” Dave said

“Yes, I really wish you would have. David I’m leaving the band at the end of the tour. I have a new manager and all that, but I’m not telling anyone until Wednesday, because that’s when the lawyers will be ready.” He nodded

“Good.” That was not the response she was expecting “look I haven’t been very fair to you most of the time. You blamed yourself for my addiction and I let you because it was easier for me. It wasn’t your fault, and I at least owe you my support in this.” She was completely stunned “Just promise me that you will bury them both, JD and Duncan”

“I promise, I’m going to.” They hugged each other tightly. David turned to Sebastian and offered his hand for him to shake

“Thank you for your kindness to Stephanie” David told him as they shook hands. 

“Thank you for being stupid enough to let her go” Sebastian said gesturing to Brodie. David chuckled

“You’re welcome, learn from my mistake, man” he slapped Sebastian’s shoulder. “see ya out there” he said to her as he walked out.

Brodie told Nina what had happened while they were hanging out waiting for food service to set up. Sebastian was hanging out with Malcolm telling him about his tour at NASA. Brodie took the opportunity to tell Nina what Sebastian had told her about living together. She told her how she wasn’t sure what she was going to do, if she was going to say yes. Suddenly Nina held her hand up for Brodie to stop.

“Brodie” Nina said carefully “I love you and I always stand by your decisions, but you are such a dumbass. You have a fucking beautiful man inside and out in love with you, like in LOVE with you. Now he is wanting to live with you, he wants to live with you” She said the last line as she stuck her face into Brodie’s “You need to wake the fuck up, stop wasting time, and go tell him that you will live with him, because if you don’t, I am going to beat the shit out of you!” 

Brodie looked at her a little stunned. Not because she had yelled at her but because she was right, she was a dumbass. Without saying anything else, Brodie walked away from Nina, looking for Sebastian. She found him animatedly talking to Malcolm. She walked up to him without a word, threw her arms around his neck, and whispered in his ear “I want to have time with you, I want to build a life with you, I want to live with you”

“Best. Birthday. EVER!”


	64. Everything

Waiting backstage Brodie walked up to Jeremy, she wrestled with whether she should say anything but once she saw him she knew she had to. “Hey Jer, I need to apologize to you” she explained the story Stephanie had told her, that she had thought it was him, that she was sorry for thinking that. He hugged her telling her he would have thought the same thing if he was her, then he asked if Steph was okay, did he need to tell her he wasn’t mad at her either. He really was a sweet guy, Brodie thought. She started to turn away from him but he gently grabbed her arm

“Brodie, I think this is it for me.” He shook his head trying to find the words “I’m not, my hearts not in it anymore, not the playing just the…” he put his arms out wide gesturing to the arena.

“The road” she finished for him. He nodded. “It’s ok Jer, it really is, this has never been your favorite thing to do” she put her arm around his shoulders 

“you guys can go on with out me, right?” 

“Actually, I’m leaving at the end of this. It’s complicated why, but I need to be on my own.” He smiled wide

“I’m so fucking proud of you” he hugged her again “You are going to fucking be amazing.”

“Thanks, but I will need a drummer, at least a studio drummer?” she said pleadingly

“No question, just tell me when and where. I would even be willing to do a very limited number of shows, like less than 5” he joked

“Deal” they shook on it. Now she had to tell Malcolm. It wasn’t fair he didn’t know. Malcom had his bass strapped on, ready to go, but she didn’t want him to be left out. “Malcolm?”

“We ready?” 

“Not yet, I just need to tell you… I’m leaving at the end of the tour. I know it’s fucked up to tell you right now but I had to tell Jeremy and…” he stopped her

“Brodie, I know Jeremy is done, he told me already. We’ve always been all or nothing. It’s time” He always was the practical one when he was sober. “It’s all good, we get to leave it on good terms. Then, you know, we can do one of those wheelchair tours.” She laughed “You are gonna be fine, more than fine. I expect to get a demo of your new stuff. You ever need a bass player though, you know how to find me.” She hugged him.

“well” she grabbed her guitar “Let’s fucking get it over with.”

Brodie talked Sebastian into leaving right after the show, so he could get some sleep. He had an early gym time the next day and it was his birthday. She still had a couple of hours before she could join him, not only did she have the regular gauntlet but the band had called a meeting, just them. “I have a key, remember?” she had said when he protested. He couldn’t really argue, he was tired, but now alone in his bed he just tossed and turned. When he finally heard her put the key in the lock, he realized he wasn’t able to sleep because he was worried about her getting home safe. Home, this was going to be their home. He got up to see her.

“Hey, did I wake you?” he shook his head no “Happy birthday!” she was holding a guitar case, she placed it down along with her bag to hug him, kissing his face from cheek to cheek to across his forehead to the tip of his nose and finally his lips. 

“What’s with the guitar?” he asked “I haven’t seen you carry one around before”

“Oh, this is so that I can give my boyfriend one of his birthday presents later.” He opened his eyes wide

“What present?” he bounced up and down “can I have it now?” she shook her head no. 

“What is it? A song?” now he was excited “A new song about me?”

“No. I’m going to sing happy birthday in screamo and then smash the guitar on the ground when you blow out the candles” she said sarcastically. “Yes, it’s a song”

She had planned to sing it to him in the afternoon but he was relentless wanting to hear it, and she was excited to play it for him. She sat cross legged on the bed, guitar in her lap “Ok, but I need to tell you two things” he nodded quickly in agreement “1. The actually final version is going to be an all-out hard rock song. 2. I am super fucking nervous so just sit over there” she pointed to the right “No, wait. There” she pointed behind her. 

“you just performed to 20,000 people and didn’t bat an eye, but you’re nervous to play in front of me, at home, in your pajamas?” 

“Yes, terrified. I can’t explain it, it’s just the way it I am.” She pointed behind her again. He rolled his eyes and sat behind her.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then she willed herself to start. She had been practicing it for weeks but now she went blank for a split second from the nerves. “never mind, come sit here.” She pointed to in front of her. He jumped up, came in front of her and sat facing her “just don’t make eye contact” she instructed him. She looked at his hands in his lap and began

I stopped  
Trying to find love  
All hope gone  
I thought I was too damaged

I looked up  
Seeing intense blue  
Took my hand  
Broke the wall around my heart

Your hands  
Made me feel again  
Need your hands  
To ease the ache inside me

Ask me  
I will tell you all  
Give you  
Give you anything  
Love you  
Til the end of time  
You are  
You’re my everything

Don’t leave  
Desperate silent plea  
Hold you close  
Please don’t leave me here alone

Tears fall  
The room too quiet  
With you gone  
I give up the want to breathe

Six days  
Over way too fast  
Was it real  
Maybe I made more of it 

Miss you  
When we’re weeks apart  
Flew all night  
Said it first, you felt it too

Pictures  
With another man  
It’s not true  
The name on my heart is yours

Ask me  
I will tell you all  
Give you  
Give you anything  
Love you  
Til the end of time  
You are  
You’re my everything

Better  
When you’re here with me  
Not afraid  
Of who I was born to be

Make you  
See you are perfect  
Show you how  
Beautiful you are inside

Love you  
Until my soul dies  
Past the time  
My body stops it’s breathing 

There is  
No end to this line  
I am yours  
Only yours and you are mine

Ask me  
I will tell you all  
Give you  
Give you anything  
Love you  
Til the end of time  
You are  
You’re my everything

She had her eyes closed and slowly opened one then the other looking at him, biting her bottom lip, scared of his reaction. He was doing the thing where he stayed very still trying to control himself. She shrugged. He got up, slowly taking the guitar from her hands, gently setting it down. He grabbed her right hand and pulled her up to standing and hugged her. She felt him squeeze her tighter then let go. He looked her in the eyes, his lips tightly pressed together, one lone tear from his right eye making its way down his cheek. “best present ever” he whispered “thank you. I, I, there are no words in my brain right now.” He took her hand and placed it on his chest over his heart. She could feel it beating rapidly, thumping against her palm. “this is yours” he said. She whispered back ‘best gift ever”

“what did you name it?” he asked

“Well, I was going to call it ‘Beginning’ but you have that movie coming out with ‘beginning’ in the title so then I thought ‘Everything’ but I think I might change it to… wait for it” she spread her arms out wide “Bastian” and she made jazz hands.

“Don’t you dare!” he said trying not to laugh “I swear to god I will never forgive you” she lifted one eyebrow “That is not a challenge” she raised the other eyebrow “Damn it, Brodie!” he went to grab her but she jumped back “come here” he said trying to sound mad. She backed up shaking her head no. “Brodie…” he slowly moved towards her as she kept backing up “Doll, stop!” she didn’t he lunged for her but she turned and ran down the hallway which was a big mistake because he was faster. He caught her around the waist, easily picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. He turned his head and bit the outside of her thigh as he carried her back into the bedroom. 

‘Ouch! Put me down, you big bruit!” she laughed “Now I’m gonna name it ‘Baz’” he bit her again harder “Ouch!” she bit him on the back, he threw her down on the bed, climbing on top of her. He held her hands over her head, his knees on either side of her hips squeezing so she couldn’t move. 

“What are you going to call it?” he said putting his face close to hers

“Captain America has a giant...” he didn’t let her finish by crushing his mouth down on hers “ok, ok, how about chubby dumpling? Wiener soldier? Sexy Seabass?’ she was laughing harder with each one

“I fucking hate the internet right now!” he rolled off her on to his back.

“Aw, poor Sebby, and on his Birthday!” she cooed to him climbing on top of him. She kissed him along his jawline from his ear to his chin. She stopped “I already named it ‘everything’” then kept going to his other ear. He rolled over so she was underneath him. 

“Good, I like that” he kissed her “now, since it’s my birthday...” he sat back and pulled off her pajama bottoms and underwear and his own. Laying back down, he slid his dick inside her. “…I get to be in my happy place” he wiggled his eyebrows making her laugh as he kissed her. She started singing Happy Birthday, by the time she got to “happy birthday, dear Sebastian” he was definitely in a happy place.


	65. Birthday Boy

He woke up with her facing him, her arms and legs wrapped around him. Shit, her leg and arm under me must be hurting, he thought, and he shifted to move off of them. She tightened her hold. “Baby, I’m laying on your leg” he said sleepily 

“it’s fine birthday boy” she said into his neck “no alarm yet, still mine” and she snuggled closer. The alarm sounded “I fucking hate you, you fucking bastard” she said to it. He reached to turn it off. She sighed and let go of him.

“You know, you could come with me to the gym before you go to my mom’s” he said rubbing his eyes. She had made plans with Georgeta to come over for a lesson while Sebastian was at the gym, then he was going to meet her there for breakfast “I will buy you coffee” he bargained

“Um, like go with you and watch you or go with you and ‘exercise’” she scrunched up her face at the word.

“you had a trainer in California. I remember having to time our fucking so you wouldn’t be late” she smiled at the memory

“ah yes, but that was ‘home Brodie’ she is making up for this” she pointed to herself with both hands. “you see this is ‘on the road Brodie’, while ‘home Brodie’ is all healthy, training, yoga, meditation, all that shit, ‘road Brodie’ puts the ‘bitch’ in debauchery.”

“I don’t think the word ‘bitch’ is in the word ‘debauchery’” he said confused

“Prove it, nerd” she held a fist to his face and he kissed it. “you don’t just kiss a threatening fist to your face, it ruins the effect” she laughed

“Prove it, dork” he tickled her stomach “Come on baby, just come with me and meet the ‘gym mafia’ no health benefits I promise” she narrowed her eyes at him

“As an Italian I take the word ‘mafia’ seriously, you know. Grave. Nessun scherzo.”

“Si, lo capisco” he got up “Come on please?” she rolled her eyes

“You’re going to use the birthday excuse, now right?” He nodded “fine!” she got up too. “I’m gonna have to do everything you want today aren’t I?” he nodded again this time with a sly smile. “can you get me out of work tonight?” he shook his head no, sadly. She sighed “what if I promise to…” she danced as she rubbed her back against his front, he laughed.

“I know you’re trying to stall, come on get dressed” he pointed to the bathroom

“Fine, I just want you to know that it’s not fair that you are starting to know all my moves, not many have figured them out” 

“Now doll” he started to push her towards the bathroom “Don’t make me late”

“I’m just saying that you are very observant” he playfully slapped her on the ass “Ok, geesh!”

He loved when she was in this goofy mood because this was the real Brodie not a lot of people knew. She got ready surprisingly fast for how well put together she always looked. He was interested in fashion, he liked to dress well, she always looked good with out trying hard. “Hey Brodie, you want to go to the Milan shows in September?” 

“Yeah, sure. Sounds fun.” She shrugged “Aren’t you ready yet?” he was putting his shoes on “Don’t make yourself late, come on birthday boy, get a move on” she walked out of the bedroom waited for him to walk past her then slapped him on the ass.

“Ok geesh” he mocked her then copied her dance move of rubbing his back up against her front. 

“Stop stalling, doll!” she imitated him.

As promised, he took her to Starbucks, she was happily sipping away on her coffee walking to the gym next to him. She was so easy to please, he thought, he could see how someone like David could be attracted to it. She would do anything for the one’s she loved and demanded so little back. He wasn’t impressed with David’s ‘it’s the least I can do’ statement, it was literally the least he could do and he did not trust him. They hadn’t talked about it, but he was sure Brodie was feeling all was forgiven. Robert had told him some things though and he wasn’t about to let her get burned again. He grabbed her hand, she looked up at him and smiled like they were in Disneyland not trying to push through the busy New York sidewalk.

“Stay close, Brodie” he said to her, she made a face “what? I’m scared, I need you to protect me” he joked; she shook her head. He put his arm around her shoulders leaned down and kissed the top of her head. He introduced her to his friends at the gym. She was very sweet to them especially Tone one of the mafia members whose birthday it also was. When he told her, she fussed over him, Tone liked her almost instantly. He was only a couple of years older than Brodie, and they bonded over shared childhood memories and making fun of Sebastian’s age. His trainer Don was determined to get her to train with him too. She laughed telling him it was not cool to invade Sebastian’s gym time, then she winked at him because he knew it was bullshit she just didn’t want to work out.

She left for his mom’s place and he made her take a car, she started to argue that the subway was perfectly fine “You know I moved here before you were born, right?” she told him “By myself” but he used the birthday excuse and she had to cave. He couldn’t help it, he just felt protective over her. Getting to know her security guys at the shows had made him think about how truly tiny she was against a determined ‘fan’. They told him how she used to stage dive into the crowd and how many times they had to go rescue her until they finally forbid her to do it by threatening to quit. Roger, the head of security, had been with the band for over 20 years. He told Sebastian that he was convinced she had a death wish for a while. 

She sat down at the piano and took a deep breath trying to remember the proper posture Georgeta had taught her and played the scales. When she finished Georgeta smiled at her pleased. 

“very good, you are a fast learner” 

“thank you, ma’am” Her praise made Brodie want to cry, she was so happy.

“Brodie you have to stop calling me ma’am. I told you, you can call me Georgeta.” 

“I know, I just, it doesn’t feel respectful enough” 

“Stop that, you are family, fetiţă” She patted Brodie on the cheeks “Now, next set of scales to practice”

When Sebastian got there, he saw his mom and his girl sitting at the table looking at something laughing, he suddenly realized the something was a photo album. He sighed. “Mom, what are you doing?” she waved him off 

“Look at this one, this is one of my favorites. He is so chubby you just want to squeeze him.” Georgeta said pointing. Brodie smiled at the photo then looked up at him.

“Oh my god you were so freaking adorable” she clapped her hands together “I can’t even handle it!” he sat at the table and put his head in his hands.

“Why did I want you two to get along again?” Georgeta shushed him then got up to give him a hug and tell him happy birthday. 

“Fetiţă, come help me get the food so my cranky son can eat.” Brodie jumped up and followed her into the kitchen. Sebastian grabbed the edge of the photo album and pulled it across the table to look at what picture Brodie was fawning over. Shit, he thought, she actually thought he was cute here? She really is insane.

Brodie came up behind him and placed a brightly wrapped box in front of him. “Happy birthday” she said over his shoulder.

“what?” he said surprised “You already got me a gift” she pushed on the side of his head 

“I said that was ONE of your gifts, there are more, open!” she sat down next to him excited to see his reaction “Open, open!” he carefully pulled on the bright blue bow to untie it, then quickly ripped through the paper. His mouth dropped open when he saw what it was, the box read ‘TAG HEUER MONACO EXCLUSIVE LIMITED EDITION SET’

“Brodie!” he shook his head in disbelief “You really shouldn’t have!” He opened the extremely limited set of 5 Monaco watches to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the race at Monaco, inspired by the watch worn by Steve McQueen in ‘Le Mans’. Each watch was styled for a decade of Monaco’s history. There were only 50 sets made. 

“Do you like it?” she asked like he could possible not be completely in love with it. 

“Are you kidding me? This is amazing!” he kept staring at the watches afraid to touch them. 

“Dude! Put one on!” she encouraged “I know you like fancy watches, so I asked around and when they said these are like Steve McQueen’s… well I knew they would look perfect on you.”

“I don’t want to break them” he said still not touching them

“They are yours; you can do anything you want with them; besides they are guaranteed for like 2 years or something. Do I have to pick one out?”

“No, I got it” he said. He picked the one with the blue band, it was the one she liked the best. He turned it over, reading it was part of a limited edition of 169. “I can’t wear this, it’s too valuable”

“You wear it or I will be very sad” she made a sad face “Please Sebby” He caved and put it on his right wrist. “Dude, I was wrong you are cooler than Steve McQueen” she whispered. He blushed, laughing. He held it up to his mom when she came in

“I know, I told her too expensive but she said it would look good on you. I have to admit she was right” she kissed him on the cheek “I like this one” she pointed to the one with the red face. 

“Oh, that one is pretty” Brodie said “don’t you think he looks cool with it on?” Georgeta nodded smiling. Sebastian got up and pulled Brodie to standing so he could hug her.

“Thank you doll, I can’t thank you enough” she smiled. It made her happier than anything that he liked what she had gotten him. She wanted him to feel as special as he made her feel when he had given her the orchid necklace she had never taken off. Loved, special, and spoiled. “She wrote me a song, too” He said proudly “Sing it for my mom” Brodie shook her head no “Please? On my birthday?” It wasn’t even 10 am and she was already sorry she agreed to do whatever he wanted on his birthday.

“I would like to hear it, please fetiţă.” She couldn’t refuse them both, when the both of them were giving her the exact same face, pleading. She sat at the piano and nervously began to play. She played it at a faster tempo then when she had sung it for Sebastian, when she was done Georgeta clapped while Brodie turned at least 30 shades of red. “That is the best gift, fetiţă. My Sebastian is lucky that you love him so much” 

“Yes, I am” he put his arm around his mom’s shoulders “I am loved by the two best women in the world” he kissed his mom on the cheek and then motioned for Brodie to come over and he kissed her on the cheek when she did. He put his hand on the small of Brodie’s back, she could feel the weight of the watch on his wrist, she swallowed hard trying not to make a sound with his mother inches away. He smiled down at her knowing what his hand was stirring up. 

When they got back to Sebastian’s place, Brodie told him she had another present for him. “No more, you’ve already done too much” he protested but she pointed to the bedroom, telling him to take a shower and get dressed. He at least talked her into going with him, then she knelt down in the shower and gave him the best head of his life. As they were getting dressed, she told him about how her publicist had asked her if she would be willing to answer questions about their relationship on GMA. “what did you say?”

“I told her I had to ask you. How do you feel about it?” she asked looking unsure of his reaction

“I feel like it’s fine with me” he shrugged “I have no problem with it as long as you feel comfortable about it”

“I don’t mind telling them we are, you know, seeing each other or whatever as long as they don’t get too personal, I guess” she was scared to say the wrong thing again this time on a show with a wide audience. 

“Brodie, how do you describe our relationship to people?” he was curious after she looked so uncomfortable saying ‘seeing each other’

“Uh, I don’t know. I don’t, really. It makes me a little nervous that I will say the wrong thing”

“The wrong thing to who?” he was a little hurt she seemed to worry about what others thought

“Not to who, for you. I’m nervous that I will say too much or like say ‘oh yeah we are totally in love’ and then you’ll be all ‘whoa, slow down there, stalker’” she laughed “Then you know I’ll scare you off”

“We are like totally in love” he made fun of her California accent “Like for sure” she flipped him off “oh, on my birthday? Wow!” 

“yeah dude, on your birthday, like for sure, totally” she exaggerated the accent making him laugh

“Brodie, I’m not your stupid fucking asshole ex-husband, I want people to know how I feel about you, how you feel about me, because…” he walked up to her and put his arms around her “… I’m not looking for anyone else. I already found the one.” He kissed her

“Who?” she asked seriously narrowing her eyes, lifting her fist to his face. He kissed her fist and she shook her head

“You. You big dork” he rolled his eyes

“You don’t just kiss a threatening fist, we talked about this earlier” she sighed

“Alright, what can I kiss then?” he nuzzled her neck his stubble tickled her and she laughed

“Stop, we don’t have time” she pushed on his chest “Sebastian, I’m serious” it took all her will power to pull away from him. “Come on, we don’t want to be late”

“Late for what?” he stood with his arms at his sides defeated by her getting away from his embrace

“Birthday lunch. Look, you have people who want to see you for your birthday. You can’t just be an asshole like me, can you? No! You have to be an incredibly nice, loveable man that every one wants to celebrate. So now you have to go to birthday lunch”


	66. Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian

Birthday lunch was Charles’ idea, all Brodie had to do was get him there on time. This was proving difficult because he kept getting phone calls and deliveries to wish him well. At one point she took his phone, holding it out like a carrot on a stick to get him in the elevator. When they finally made it to the restaurant Brodie had new respect for personal assistants. “Remind me to give Terri a raise” she told Nina “If I’m half as difficult as he is, she deserves double.” 

“Trust me, you’re worse, because you won’t let anyone help you.” Nina smacked her on the back “You should just pay for a full-time therapist for her” Brodie sneered at her. “Happy birthday Seb! How old are you now 19? 20?” she hugged him “Next year I’ll take you to a bar.”

“Thanks grandma Nina, I’ll break you out of the old folk’s home for the day” he teased 

Sebastian had a great time saying hello to everyone, introducing Brodie, and opening endless gifts. He was surprised that Jeremy and Malcolm had also come to celebrate with him, Jeremy gave him a beautiful book about meditation and anxiety. Malcolm gave him a book about space or science or something like that. Brodie looked at it and felt confused by the title alone, thinking, that was one book she would not be borrowing anytime soon. Nina had gotten him a leather jacket that was black with a chrome like patina over it so it looked like dark blue steel. It deepened the color of his eyes when he put it on. 

“Thanks Nina, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get more out of that jacket then he will” Brodie said clutching her heart in lust.

“Anything for you B.” she laughed “besides I never get to do birthday stuff for you so…” Brodie shushed her. Nina rolled her eyes “If you think that one is going to play along with the whole, we-don’t-mention-the-b-word thing you’re crazy” 

“If you just shut up about it, he won’t even notice” Brodie hissed at her

“Sure, yeah. He’s not gonna ever think ‘hey I wonder when my girlfriend’s birthday is?’” she shook her head “besides, Duncan’s not around to cause a big stink about it being too painful for him. Asshole” Brodie looked at her surprised 

“what are you talking about?” she just stopped hoping for a birthday party when she was little, tired of being disappointed and then it became something she actually feared, scared of what it felt like to have all that attention focused on her. Sebastian seemed to be enjoying it, but she could not see how having a room full of people singing to you while you sat there smiling with a flaming cake in your face was enjoyable. “it has nothing to do with Duncan”

“Oh B, I love you” Nina said hugging her. She understood that Brodie had a way of changing the narrative so that nothing was Duncan’s fault. She was slowly starting to see what a shit he was but there was no reason to force her to see it all at once. “look, your man wants to introduce you to someone else” She pushed her off towards Seb. Later when He thanked her again for the jacket, she told him he could thank her by asking Brodie about her birthday and not taking no for an answer. He looked at her suspiciously but she just said “Trust me”

The late afternoon lunch went long into the early evening, soon Brodie had to get to work. She pulled Sebastian aside and told him “This is the next gift; you stay here with Charles while I go to work. Your friends want to take you out and have guy time. I will meet up with you all later at karaoke, then I will either show up to Good Morning America very hung over or still sorta drunk but either way it will be worth it.” 

“Brodie, I would rather be with you” he said seriously, “Look, all of this has been amazing and I fucking loved it but what I really want is alone time with you, just you and me.” 

“That is so fucking sweet, but your friends have a bunch of plans for you. I have to work so it’s not like you would get any alone time with me until after anyway. I do have a compromise though.” He looked at her questioning “here” she handed him a large envelope

“Brodie, no more gifts” he said trying to protest, she just pushed it towards him. He opened it “Are these, tickets?” she nodded yes

“Just you and me for one week, all alone, no one else for miles. At the end of September, we are both free and I already had Terri set it up with your assistant, so no working.” he hugged her tight “I know it’s kind of a gift for me too, but…” he kissed her

“Thank you, baby. This is exactly what I wanted. Wait until your birthday, wait, when is your birthday?” she laughed and turned to walk away he held on to her “Brodie, when is your birthday?” she just shook her head no “what do you mean, no?” she shrugged “Do I have to call Robert?” he saw the fear flicker in her eyes for a second but then she recovered and laughed

“You could try” She kissed him on the end of his nose “I gotta go to work, I’ll see you in a few hours, love you” and she turned and walked out with Nina calling “Happy birthday” over her shoulder.

When they got into the car and settled, Brodie pulled out her phone and texted Robert

B- Don’t tell Sebastian when my birthday is, please Robert.

She waited, no answer. He must be busy, she thought, no problem. She was relaxing and chatting with Nina when her phone signaled with a text from Robert

R- Oh, was I not supposed to? 

Then one from Sebastian

S- Hey Doll, you busy on November 26th?  
B- Very.

Fucking Robert! God damn him. She looked at Nina who looked way too nonchalant. “Nina, what did you do?” Nina pointed to herself and shrugged “Fuck you” Nina turned away because she could not stop laughing.

S- (gif of a devil smiling)  
B- New phone. Who dis?  
S- Love you! See you in a few hours.

The show went very well. For the last night in New York, they paid tribute to Cindy Lauper. The GMA people came by to shoot some visuals for the next morning. Brodie finally got to meet Olivia in person. She was a gorgeous, tall, dark haired woman with skin the color of maple syrup and golden honey colored eyes. Brodie and Nina were both mesmerized, Nina leaned over and whispered “dibs” when she walked in the room. Brodie had to concede to her as she just kept reminding herself: Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian. 

Her law team was also present, meeting with Jeremy and Malcolm working out the legal mess they had made for themselves in the band meeting the night before. It was a lot of business that had to be done immediately, which is why she had called Charles at an ungodly hour to arrange guy time. He easily agreed, thankfully, she owed him one. She didn’t want Sebastian’s birthday to be stressful in anyway. They could talk about it after the show with Joan, which she still hadn’t told him about. She wanted it to be the final surprise. 

She texted Charles when her and Nina were ready to leave asking where they were, he sent back the name and street of the bar with a short video of Sebastian singing ‘Born to Run’ with his friends Will and Chace. It was hilarious. She showed it to Nina “we’re going to have to get caught up pretty quickly or we’ll be stuck being the sober babysitters” 

“I got Olivia’s number” Nina said proudly

“Her office number or her home number?” Brodie had a slight twinge of jealousy 

“Her personal cell number” she saw the look in Brodie’s eyes “B, you’ll always be the love of my life, my best friend” she hugged her

“I know, and I have no right to feel this way with Sebastian and all. It’s just a natural reaction I can’t help it. I love you too. I am happy for you.” She hugged her back tightly. 

He was having fun with his friends. He was returning from the bathroom when he saw her walk in, his whole body reacted. She didn’t know what room they were in yet; she took a look at her phone and he snuck up next to her. He changed his voice saying “Hey beautiful, can I buy you a drink?” she turned with a face that said ‘fuck off’ to answer and realized it was him. Her face instantly lit up. 

“well, I do have a boyfriend, but you are awful cute” she winked 

“Yeah? It’s my birthday too” he said sliding in closer to her

“Oh well, I should buy you a drink then” she put her arms around his neck “how about a birthday kiss, big boy?” she kissed him, he tasted like alcohol and lime. “you better stop that, my boyfriend is a Marvel superhero” she teased as he gripped her tightly kissing her throat and moving down towards her chest. “he has a metal arm” she was aware that there were a group of women watching them intensely, it was obvious they recognized him. She made eye contact with one accidentally and they gave her the stink eye. “Sebastian, let’s go to the room with your friends” she remembered how to talk to him when he was hammered “Come on Sebby, follow me and I’ll let you finish this” he loosened his grip and she stepped back from him “you want me?” she asked he nodded yes with the cutest smile, she grabbed both of his hands in hers and walked backwards towards what she hoped was the private rooms. 

“Hey Seb, having fun?” Nina, who had stopped at the bathrooms when they walked in joined them.

“He’s a little wasted and those girls over there are giving me the death stare” Brodie nodded towards them. Nina slid her arm around his waist and kissed him on the cheek exaggerating the contact. He looked at her confused she looked at the group and winked at them. “Damn it Nina, why?”

“It’s fun, try it” she laughed. Brody relented, she moved closer to him and he reacted by grabbing her hips and pulling her close. She put her hands on either side of his face and pulled it towards her breasts, he immediately buried his face between them. She looked over at the group pointedly and then threw her head back closing her eyes and biting her bottom lip. The looks she got were worth it.

“that was fun” she admitted to Nina “Come on Sebby, let’s find your friends before I get jumped in the parking lot later” 

Brodie kept a good eye on his drinking, she wanted him to be semi-conscience at least when they got back to his place. She drank enough to be sufficiently buzzed then stopped. As the time got closer, she was more and more nervous about her interview in the morning, by 1am she was ready to go home. “Hey Sebby, I’m gonna take a car back to your place. I’m tired. You stay and have fun” he had sobered up a lot 

“I’m tired too” he said yawning “I think it’s time to call it” The rest of the group was ready as well; it was a week night and they all had jobs to be at in a few hours. Charles offered to ride with Nina to see her home safe and when he hugged Brodie, he told her quietly that he would see her in the afternoon, she nodded.

They were back at Sebastian’s place getting ready for bed. He started to take off the watch but she put her hand over it “keep it on” she said wiggling her eyebrows

“only if you promise you’ll be thinking of me not Steve McQueen” he teased

“hell, I can’t help it if my mind briefly drifts to him” she hugged herself closing her eyes and smiling

“Shit, now I’m gonna think of him too” he laughed “Thank you for my birthday, baby doll. It was way over the top but I loved it” 

“you’re welcome daddy, but one more thing” he rolled his eyes

“Brodie, you have to stop. Will was saying those watches alone cost more than a car”

“tell Will to mind his business” she laughed “I have plenty, trust me, you are definitely the gold digger in this relationship. Besides you are worth it. So, do you want to know the thing or not?” he shook his head yes “tomorrow afternoon, you, me, Nina and Charles are flying out to Virginia so that me and Nina can play a gig with Joan Jett” he looked at her surprised “AND” she said before he said anything “We are going to play ‘everything’ at full speed dedicated to you AND” she said when he opened his mouth to talk “I am going to announce a solo album, Nina is going to produce it and play on it. The idea is like the Sinatra Duets thing, but it will be all original songs and each one will have a special guest performer. I already got a verbal agreement from Patti Smith and Joan Jett so really that’s pretty fucking good right there.” 

“Can I speak now?” he asked, she gestured for him to go ahead “I am so proud of you, I can’t wait to see you play with Joan Jett. That is an awesome idea for an album, too. I just want to say that it’s about fucking time you are making another one. I represent all the Brodie solo project fans, we NEED this!” she laughed 

“The reason why I wanted to tell you all this for your birthday is because I would never be doing it without you. You changed my whole life for the better and I will never be able to repay you”

“Baby you did the same for me, you already repay me by being mine” 

“Come here, you are gonna get so thoroughly fucked right now” he smiled wide “on my god what I’m about to do to you is illegal in many states” she joked

“Bring it on” he said holding his arms out wide. She took off all her clothes as she moved towards him 

“Touch me daddy” she said in the voice that made him melt “I’ll do anything you want me to” she pressed her body against his “you want me to beg you?” she got on her knees and looked up at him “Please Daddy” she pleaded “you want me to perform for you, maybe?” she leaned back laying on the floor in front of him propped up on her elbows, she bent her knees up and opened them wide “you want me to show you what I do when I miss you?” she started to lay her head back and straighten her arms so she could touch herself

“No” he said suddenly “mine. Don’t move” she stayed still as he undressed. He bent down and put his arms under her, one at her neck and one at her knees picking her up. He carried her into the hallway and pushed open the door to the room Nina had stayed in.

“when did that get here?” she asked seeing the red chaise from her apartment. He didn’t answer as he laid her down on it. He took her left arm and put it up along the top of the chairs back, she scooted so she was sitting up more, leaning her shoulders against the arm. He positioned her left leg long across the seat and her right leg bent foot on the floor, then he knelt down and slowly buried his face between her legs. Her kissed her opening like he would her mouth, slowly then opening his lips to lick her lightly with his tongue. He deepened the kiss and put his tongue inside her when she moaned. She grabbed his hair with her right hand, gripping the top of the chair back with her left. He pulled on her hips until she was flat on her back and then moved his body on top of hers settling the tip of his dick at her opening 

“now beg me baby doll” he said sucking on her neck under her right ear

“Please daddy, please” her right hand was still fisted in his hair and she softened the grip to caress his head “Daddy, I need you” 

“who’s your daddy, baby?” he asked as he slowly made his way to the left side of her neck

“you are” she moaned “you are, Sebastian”

“that’s right, baby” he thrust himself inside her “I’m your daddy” he grabbed her wrist from his hair and held her arm down so her hand was next to her ear “now tell me when your birthday is” the demand confused her for a second “tell me” he said forcefully 

“it’s in November” she answered barely able to think clearly because she was so close to cumming. 

“Say it” he bit her on the left breast hard she arched back at the climax “say it”

“26” she called out as she came, he came seconds later squeezing her wrist tightly with his left hand and sliding his right hand under her lower back she could feel the watch on his wrist against her back. He didn’t relax into her like he normally did after he finished. He held her that way for a few beats. Slowly he lifted his face and looked her in the eyes 

“don’t make me call Robert to find out shit like that again. You are mine; I shouldn’t have to call him to find out your fucking birthday.” He said it more insulted than angry

“Ok, you’re right. I didn’t think about it that way.” She put her left arm around him and squeezed “I love you”

“I love you too, doll” he let go and relaxed “One more thing, Robert said he talked you out of buying me a car?”

“Oh yeah, he said it was too much. I agreed. It really is more of a Christmas type gift” she joked

“Don’t you dare!”


	67. Today’s The Day

At 5:58 am Brodie was pacing inside the lobby of Sebastian’s place waiting for the car to pick her up. She could have waited upstairs but she was nervous and needed to move. He was sitting watching her go back and forth, biting her nails, with a wide eyed stare. “you sure you don’t need me to come with you?” he asked again

“I’m sure, Olivia will be there. Besides you need to go to the gym so you can be prepared for whatever dumbass thing that will come out of my mouth.” She sat down, then got up again. She was more than just nervous for the interview, today was the day that the cat was out of the bag. JD and Duncan would be served with papers, things were about to explode. She had vowed not to tell him until after the show tonight, but something made her change her mind “Sebastian, today’s the day” he looked at her for a second then understanding came over his face

“Finally. Brodie this is a good thing” he got up and held her close “you are going to kill this interview, then you are going to kick ass tonight, then we are going to celebrate” 

“This is just the first shot. The war is about to get ugly” she sighed

“Hey, you aren’t alone in this anymore.” Then he whispered “Sergeant James Barnes reporting for duty”

“God you’re adorable!” 

“Alright you two, don’t make me use the Mackie technique!” Terri had ridden over in the car that was sent for Brodie

“Terri!” they both said in unison. Sebastian opened up his arm to include her in a group hug. 

“I missed you!” Brodie told her as she kissed her cheek then licked it.

Terri wiped off where Brodie had licked her “Ew! Ok time to go. Mr. Stan, sir” she bowed to him joking then she pulled Brodie’s arm towards the door “come on. How did you get anywhere without me?”

“I didn’t, it’s been horrible, this is the first time I’ve been outside since you left” She said as she waved to Sebastian and got in the awaiting car. 

In the car Terri had her coffee order. “I love you, you need a raise, and Nina said a therapist, but for sure a raise” she grabbed the coffee and drank “no wait, just marry me.”

“well, I love you too. You already pay me an insane amount, but hey I’m never gonna say no to a raise! Why does Nina think I need therapy? I accept your proposal of marriage; do I get a ring?”

“Nina thinks I’m difficult because I don’t let anyone help me. Psh! Whatever! A big ass ring like gigantor!” Brodie had missed this back and forth they had established

“You are not difficult, you are challenging” Brodie knitted her eyebrows together and sneered “I wear a size 8 ring”

“That’s just a nice way to say difficult” she pouted as Terri laughed

Brodie wore her usual casual outfit of jeans, a t-shirt and chucks. Olivia said it was perfect, she needed to be herself. She wasn’t sure if she was unnerved by the fact that Olivia just trusted her to not fuck up or if it made her feel good. She went through hair and make-up; this is where she met Robin Roberts. She was smart and funny, Brodie felt instantly comfortable with her. She double checked with her on the Sebastian question and Brodie really appreciated her care. One of the producers told her how it would go: They would introduce her, show a taped piece, then go to her and Robin live with the approved questions. Another production person asked her if she would do a little intro thing, she agreed but didn’t realize it was a live thing until it was too late. 

Sebastian was watching at the gym, when they came back from a commercial break, they showed Brodie saying “Wake up! It’s time to talk about women who rock. I’m Brodie Lee, Good Morning America” He laughed, oh she must have hated that, but she was so damn cute. 

“Was that your girlfriend?” Tone asked “That was the sweet, shy girl I met yesterday?”

“Yep” Sebastian nodded “I bet she is freaking out that she did it wrong, right now. I better text her”

“Good for you, Seb. You got a good one.” Tone slapped him on the back. “Don’t fuck it up”

S- You did amazing. Stop freaking out.   
B- I was so nervous. I am not freaking out.   
B- that much.  
S- Saw you on the tv ur so cute! Wanna go out on a date with me?  
B- Stop texting me I have a boyfriend!  
S- darn. Lucky guy.  
B- (gif of Sebastian with an angry face opening his jacket from the Tonight Show)  
B- Dude, dat his angry face!  
S- Damn, he’s scary  
B- He’s my daddy  
S- Yes, I am.

They must have liked her intro, they asked her to sit at the desk when they were doing the pop news. She met Michael Strahan who used to play for the Giants. She teased him that he was her rival because she was a Redskins fan, he brought it up when they went live. She held her own talking about the coming season, Michael was impressed and Robin chimed in with her love of the Saints. It was easier than she thought it would be when she just relaxed being herself like Olivia had told her. She was so used to an angry JD picking on her every word that she would never calm down. 

When they finally went into the segment about her, Robin did a little intro talking briefly about the tributes and how GMA had been following them. Then she segued into the taped piece. Brodie hadn’t seen it, she figured it was just a standard rundown of who they had covered. It started out with a brief history of her career, really old footage of the band with Brodie looking like the 17-year-old she was, their first hit record, the big explosion of fame, her solo album, the Grammy’s and the band coming back together. Some headlines, posts and clips from GMA covering the tributes she was doing. She was fine with it, she wanted to see the old footage again, and wondered if they would give her a copy of it, but then the tone changed. 

Short clips from interviews with several female musicians she had covered reacting to her calling them influences and icons. It was all positive, they were thankful, humbled, glad to be thought of, she was pleased and slightly uncomfortable. Then they started showing younger artists talking about how she had influenced them. Oh crap, she wanted to disappear. It ended with young girls learning guitar, one wearing a t-shirt with her on it. “She’s my hero” the girl said “Someday I’m going to be a famous musician and I am going to meet her and tell her that she is the best guitar player ever” She was stunned.

“How does that feel to know you are doing for that girl what all these women you are honoring did for you at that age?” Robin asked

“Um, honestly I don’t have the words to tell you how absolutely floored I am by that.” She shook her head in disbelief “Just, wow”

“How did you come up with the idea to do these nightly ‘Brodie hall of fame’ inductions?”

Brodie laughed “I like that title. Someone asked me what made me want to be a musician and my answer was Joan Jett and the Runaways. It made me think about all the women who paved the way, who made me feel like I had a place in rock and roll. I wanted a chance to say thank you.”

“How do you choose what artist you are going to do each night?”

“It depends, sometimes it’s just who I feel like playing and sometimes it’s because of where we are playing, like Patti Smith had to be done in New York. I have a list and I just kind of see who feels right for that night.”

“You have been doing a lot of these with just yourself and Janine Turner, who is touring with you, is it on purpose to have just you and her, female artists covering female artists?”

“Yes and no, I think we both enjoy playing together and we never have done that publicly so it has been really fun, we have been good friends for many years, but also it is just the way we have been arranging the songs. It is usually just her and I doing that so it works, plus it gives the guys a little extra break” She laughed

“So, tonight is something special, you want to tell us about it?”

“Yes, Janine and I are going to be performing with Joan Jett in Virginia tonight. I can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth right now.” 

“Have you and Joan met before?”

“No, no. We have talked on the phone and skyped a little bit but not in person.”

“So, a big night for you.”

“Yes, definitely”

“well, the good news for our viewers is that we are going to be sending a film crew to capture that moment so you will all get to see it tomorrow here on GMA”

“Yes, please tune in and watch me fall apart meeting my idol” she joked. Robin and the crew laughed

“The two big questions on everyone’s minds though are a bit more on the personal level. Now, I cleared this subject with you, I want everyone to know you agreed to talk about it briefly.” Brodie nodded yes “I’m just gonna say: Sebastian Stan” Robin held her hands palms up and gestured to Brodie who blushed and chuckled squirming a bit in her seat. They showed a picture of her on stage wearing the shirt, the one of them at the World Cup, and one from the day before of them walking in New York his arm around her shoulders kissing the top of her head. 

“I mean, yes?” she raised one eyebrow Robin laughed

“So just to be clear, you are a couple?”

“Yes. We are a couple.” She confirmed. A few of the crew members and reporters off camera clapped. She looked behind her amused. “Thank you” she said over her shoulder. More laughter.

“One last question, we all want to know, when will you make another solo album?” Robin asked this shaking her fists looking up at the ceiling

“I always say someday, maybe, but if you promise to keep it a secret between us, I already started writing and it should be out next year sometime.” Robin clapped her hands together and mouthed ‘thank you’ to the ceiling. 

“Has covering so many amazing artists sort of inspired you again to do it?”

“I…” she almost just said yes because it was what everyone expected “actually, it’s more having Sebastian’s encouragement and support. He’s really helped me to find my voice again by just not expecting me to be anyone but myself, as dorky and weird as that is, so…” she shrugged

“Well, I’d like to say thank you to Sebastian and thank you Brodie Lee, it has been an absolute joy to chat with you”

“Thank you, Robin”

At the gym, Sebastian stood motionless watching the segment. When she had said that she was motivated by someone who asked her why she became a musician he was sure that was him when they played 5 questions at dinner. He felt proud that he did that for her. He liked the way she handled the relationship question; it was perfect to him. The ‘thank you’ over her shoulder was hilarious. When she said the part about him inspiring her and helping her find her voice, he was overwhelmed with emotions. Don came over and put his arm around his shoulders in a show of support. He took out his phone

S- I love you so fucking much.   
B- I love you too tati.

She asked for the name of the girl on the video, she wanted to at least reach out to her and give her a thank you, or a guitar or a pony or something. The producer told her Olivia already had it. When she saw Olivia in the green room, she expected her to correct her on what she could have done or said better but she jumped up and hugged her then Terri hugged her.

“You were perfect!” Olivia gushed “You handled the relationship question in the best way possible. Honest, direct and with a little humor. I couldn’t have written a better answer.” Brodie was unsure how to respond so she just shrugged and said “ok” quietly. After another 20 minutes of business inside, someone mentioned the crowd outside was excited to meet her, so Brodie ventured out to say hello. There were a lot of people out there. She started signing things and taking selfies, one girl asked her what Sebastian was like in ‘real life’ and she told her he was just like she imagined he would be. One older woman asked her if he was good in bed and Brodie just sort of chuckled, shaking her head at the boldness. One male in his early teens thanked her for coming out as Bi, she hugged him and told him to be proud of who he was. One man asked her out she laughed and told him she had a boyfriend then a woman piped up asking if she had a girlfriend, again Brodie laughed and said no she had a boyfriend. 

It was a different crowd than what she was used to when doing a meet and greet. So many questions about Sebastian, she thought, I guess I better get used to it. Finally, one girl said she couldn’t see how Sebastian would be interested in someone so old. She said the word ‘old’ with a sneer. Brodie just smiled and shrugged, but what she really wanted to say was something like ‘Bitch, my age doesn’t seem to matter when he’s on his knees begging to put his dick inside me. Again.’ but she played nice. “I’m afraid one of those is going to catch me on a bad day and I’m actually going to say it out loud” she told Terri as they were on their way back to Sebastian’s.

“Please let me be there to see the look on whoever the unlucky one is’ face!” Brodie laughed “Listen Brodie, you are going to come up against his fans and some of them are going to hate you no matter what because he loves you. Try not to pay attention to it”

“you hear that from your therapist I got for you?” Brodie said sarcastically

She left Terri in the car so she could go to Emily’s office to work out details for the trip to Virginia and to get the scoop on the legal war about to go down. She was exhausted, she wanted to get a little bit of sleep in before the flight. When she opened the door to the apartment, Sebastian was there waiting.

“Have you just been standing here the whole time?” she asked

“Nope, I asked the doorman to tell me when you got home so I could do this” he said as he picked her up and held her tightly “I love you Brodie”

“I love you, too. I’m a little confused as to why I’m getting this greeting but I’m not complaining”

“what you said about me helping you find your voice” he put her down so he could look into her eyes “it made me feel so special to you”

“you are special to me, you are everything to me, hence the name of the song I wrote about you” 

“nobody’s ever made me feel so loved, doll” 

“Oh my god, no one has ever loved me or treated me like you do Sebastian” she caressed his cheek with the palm of her hand “I promise I will make you feel like that until I take my last breath and I never break a promise.” 

They held each other for a long time, right there just inside the door to the apartment.


	68. I Can’t Do This Without You

Brodie woke to Sebastian cussing someone out on his phone. They had laid down to get a little sleep before the big night. He was trying to do it in a hushed tone but at some point, he lost his control, yelling “Listen to me asshole, I know all of it, which means I know what a piece of shit you are!” Brodie knew it had to be Duncan; she could feel it. She got up, took the phone from his hand, disconnecting the call, he closed his eyes taking a deep breath. She tossed the phone on the bed and walked to the bathroom without a word. She placed her hands on either side of the sink dropping her chin to her chest. She was glad she had decided to tell him earlier, but upset that he had had to deal with it now. He knocked on the door jam. “door’s open” she said without moving. She felt him come up behind her, he stopped a couple of inches away not sure if he could touch her. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at him” he said it, but she knew he was only trying to make her feel better, he wasn’t sorry he cussed out Duncan. She turned to face him.

“Don’t be sorry, I’m sorry you had to deal with it. I forgot I gave him your number when we were waiting for Ellie to…” she waved her hand to dismiss the rest “…anyway, you should probably block the number”

“I already did” he went to hold her then stopped “Can I?” he held his arms out.

“yes, please” she leaned into his embrace “You don’t have to ask, you can always hug me, you have my permission until further notice” She chuckled but not in happiness. He kissed her head

“Hey,” he took her chin in his hand tipping her face up to his “you are going to meet Joan Fucking Jett in a couple hours” she nodded “Don’t let anyone ruin that for you, for us.” She nodded again and gave a weak smile “Think about poor Nina, she’s old, this might be her last chance to play with her” she smiled wider “You don’t want to deny her the memory for when she’s in the old folk’s home next year” she chuckled, this time because it was funny “That’s my girl” he kissed her forehead “hey you want to imagine me in my underwear?” she closed her eyes 

“Hey, that works, oh, wait, yeah!” she nodded “Imaginary Sebastian is taking off the boxers…” she growled “…oh yeah, whoo!” she opened her eyes to him staring at her, cringing. 

“I am not just some kind of, of, of, object you can, you know…” he struggled for a word

“Objectify?” she offered

“Yeah! That!” he poked her in the collar bone playfully 

“it was your idea!” 

“Oh yeah. Well then, how about a live reenactment?” he flashed a wicked smile “I’m told it’s much better in person”

“By who?” she demanded

“You know, people” he smiled and shrugged

“’People’? More than one?” she put her hands on her hips

“I’m very popular at the strip club” he winked grinding against her

“I bet you are” she said laughing “that’s why you always have all those ones, huh?”

“what can I say?” he turned and rubbed his ass against her bending over “I have moves”

She covered her mouth with her hands trying not to laugh, but couldn’t stop it. “Oh my god, I could make so much money for a video of this” he stopped and took her in his arms again.

“I love to hear you laugh, doll” he smiled down at her “there’s only one sound I like more”

“I’m kinda afraid to ask”

“When you call me daddy” 

“oh” she leaned in and whispered in his ear “Daddy, daddy, daddy” He looked at his watch “we have time” she said

“Thank fuck!” he picked her up and sat her on the counter “Let me show you my moves”

“Oh damn, I don’t have any cash. Can I throw my debit card at you?” he nodded his head yes.

Nina came over, she was all nervous energy and excitement. Brodie was packing a bag to take with her in the bedroom but she could hear Nina and Sebastian’s conversation. She was telling him about Olivia and how she had talked to her on the phone for hours the night before. A small stab of jealousy hit Brodie in the gut. She promised to be as supportive as Nina had been with Sebastian, but it still stung. It would be a bit easier, she thought, if it had been a man. At least she would still be her number one woman. She yelled at herself for being a selfish bitch.

“Hey B!” Nina came in the room and hugged her from behind kissing her on the cheek “Can you believe we are actually going to be onstage with Joan Jett tonight?” Brodie shook her head no and pulled Nina’s arms tighter around herself. “it’s gonna be like we are in The Runaways, an older version anyway” she laughed “you ok?” she asked when Brodie didn’t respond. She just nodded her head yes. Nina turned her around to face her “Holy shit! What happened? SEBASTIAN!” He ran in

“What’s wrong?” Nina was holding Brodie’s face between her hands, she looked over at him 

“she’s crying” she whispered. Nina had never seen her cry. Brodie was looking up desperately trying to stop

“Yeah, she does that now” He said gently, Nina’s mouth dropped open and she mouthed to him ‘when?’ he shrugged, he walked behind Brodie and wrapped his arms around them both, Nina did the same from the front. Brodie sighed, angry with herself for crying, and angrier for the reason why. She tried to shake them off, wiggle away, move her arms at least, but they had a tight hold on her. 

“Ok, let go now” she said through her teeth “Seriously” she said louder when they didn’t budge. 

“No way, B” Nina said starting to cry herself, she didn’t know why Brodie was upset but Nina was upset for her too. Sebastian thought about how he was going to be able to console them both about god knows what when the doorbell rang.

“It must be Charles” Brodie said “go ahead and answer it” she pressed the side of her head to his. He reluctantly let go of them and went to let Charles in. “Sorry Sweetpea. I don’t know why, it hit me all at once I guess. Sebastian broke my ability to not cry and now I’m just…” she threw her hands up as much as she could with Nina’s death grip around her. “I’m such a selfish asshole”

“No, you’re not, B. That is the last thing you are” Brodie shook her head and started to cry again.

“Yes I am. I don’t want you to fall in love with some other girl, but I do, but I don’t” she stomped her foot because she was frustrated with her own feelings and couldn’t express them well. “I want you to be happy, I do, but…” she hugged her tight 

“I know Brodie, I know. I felt the same way with you and Seb. It’s ok. The good news is that it gets easier when you see the other person love them as much as you do.” Brodie pouted

“I just think it would be easier if it was a guy, you know?”

“It’s not. Not when it’s THE guy, you know?” Brodie nodded. Nina held her face gently and wiped her tears with her thumbs as Sebastian had done months ago. “I love you. I always have and I always will, but you know it just didn’t work for us that way. You needed to be your own and I needed you to be mine to the point that I was ‘jealous rage monster’” Brodie smiled at the name she used to call her when they were dating “Sebastian gets you, he can let you be all out there charming the masses but he knows you are his. I just can’t, but I will always, always, love you with all my heart.”

“I know. I will always love you with all my heart. I can’t do this without you” Nina knew what she meant. The legal battle, the interview she was about to do with Oprah, the upcoming album, Sebastian, all of it.

“Well you don’t have to love. I’m here. I will always be here” Brodie leaned in and kissed her, long and slow. Nina was the only person whose touch was even in the realm of Sebastian’s. They touched foreheads. “Let’s go rock the fuck out of Virginia” Brodie nodded in agreement. 

They took a private plane to Virginia. Brodie did not want to chance delays or commercial air bullshit. She could easily afford to do this all the time, she never had to ride a tour bus for financial reasons she just never thought of herself as the ‘fly in for the show’ type. Besides her private jet budget was quietly used to transport sick kids and their families. Every time she started to resent the bus, she pictured one of those kids. When they boarded the pilot greeted her

“Hello Miss Brodie, nice to see you again”

“Hi Captain Paul, how’s it going?” she gave him a quick hug

“Good, we had 4 this past month”

“Cool!” they settled in their seats. Nina and Olivia sat in the first row, Terri and Charles sat in the seats facing Brodie and Sebastian a little table between them. 

“Four what last month?” Sebastian asked scrunching up his face. She sighed, she might as well just tell him, she knew he wouldn’t let it go when he made that face.

“Medical transport for sick kids” she whispered to him waving it off “No big deal”

“Do you own the plane or just pay for it? Because if you own it, I would like to hire it, but if you pay for it, we should see if we can coordinate trips.” She should have known he was doing the same thing quietly. 

“I own it. We will definitely talk about it later” she kissed his cheek “I adore you” he smiled 

“you’re not too bad yourself, Miss Brodie” she laughed “I think, Captain Paul was it? Has a little crush” she shook her head “trust me, I know that look, it’s the same one I get when you walk in a room” she blushed and playfully punched him in the arm. He flexed it “now try it” she did, it was as hard as a rock.

“Ouch, I think I broke my hand” he took it and rubbed her knuckles then brought it to his lips and kissed it

“Honestly, if you two are going to do that the whole way there, I’m going to need to start drinking now” Charles said, Terri nodded in agreement. Sebastian held his hand up to get the flight attendants attention

“Hi, we need some alcohol here, please” he said pointing to Charles and Terri when she came to their seats, then he continued to kiss Brodie’s hand.

When they arrived at the amphitheater, Brodie got nervous and started to tap her leg up and down rapidly in the car. Sebastian put his hand on her knee “she’s gonna love you, doll. Just breathe” she took a deep breath. Suddenly they were walking into the backstage area the GMA cameras were there and then there she was, Joan Jett. Brodie had a second of total panic, not able to move, she willed herself to take a step forward. Her next conscience thoughts were: Joan Jett is hugging me, she’s so tiny, she smells good, what did I just say to her, I hope it was funny on purpose because she’s laughing. She took a breath, trying to come to the present moment. 

What Sebastian saw on the outside was Joan Jett walking up to Brodie, taking her in a tight embrace. They were the same size the only difference was Joan was leaner whereas Brodie had ample curves. Brodie made a joke about her nerves which Joan thought was hilarious. She grabbed Brodie’s hand and held it like they were longtime friends. Brodie introduced him, Charles and Terri; Joan shook their hands. Nina arrived; Joan hugged her as well then held her hand too. She led them off to the stage to show them the layout. Sebastian turned to Charles “Hungry?” Charles nodded yes “Hey Terri you got that list of restaurants you were talking about?” she handed it to him 

“You don’t want to stay and wait for Brodie?” Charles asked

“I learned that sound check is like rehearsal and since this is the first time they are meeting, it will probably be intense to get ready, she doesn’t need me to distract her.” He told Terri where they would be and left. 

Brodie was absolutely living the dream. She kept looking at Nina, to make sure it was real. Once they started to play however, she was all business and so were Joan and Nina. Joan was touring with Heart, Brodie and Nina had hoped to meet them as well. When Nancy Wilson showed up wanting to play with them too, Brodie didn’t know how she was still coherent. They ran through a few of Joan’s songs, she wanted them to play on ‘Bad Reputation’, ‘Cherry Bomb’, and Brodie’s song ‘Everything’. When they started to rehearse ‘Everything’ Brodie was firmly in charge, it felt good to have their respect, enough that they trusted her ear for the song. They rehearsed until their time was up, they all four felt good about it. 

Brodie and Nina went off to their designated dressing room to process. Sebastian and Charles were there waiting along with Olivia and Terri. Olivia told Brodie she had about 30 minutes before the GMA people wanted to interview her, Nina and Joan. She looked to Sebastian who held up a Starbucks cup and a straw. “I love you so fucking much” she said as she sat on his lap and took a drink. 

“Yeah? Because I got you coffee?”

“No because you’re here with me on a very important day and you got me coffee” he held up a present.

“For you, to remember this day” she shook her head no “Open it, go on” she carefully opened the box. Inside was a 5x7 ornate silver frame with a photo of her, Joan, and Nina from behind holding hands walking towards the stage. “Charles took the picture”

“I love it. I love it so much!” She hugged him then got up to hug Charles “Thank you!”

“I wanna see” Nina said. Her jaw dropping open when she saw the picture. She looked at Sebastian “This is amazing”

“I’m glad you like it” he said and handed her a box too. 

“NO!” She clutched her heart dramatically, He shook his head yes, laughing.


	69. Take It Kid

“We need you in five” called a GMA producer from the dressing room door. Brodie was talking to Charles about the trip he took with Sebastian to Romania. She had been there 3 times on tour, once before the wall fell, once in the 90’s after the wall, and once a couple of years ago. Three very different experiences she had told him, he was describing how beautiful the town Sebastian had come from was on the coast. She had only been to Bucharest, Constanta sounded amazing the way Charles talked about it. 

“I would really love to see it now” she said standing up “I have to go make an ass of myself on tv again” she rolled her eyes. She looked to find Nina in the room, she saw her holding hands with Olivia. They were facing each other, inches apart, talking and laughing. Brodie wanted to throw up or throw something at them or throw a fit, something to do with throwing. 

“What’s wrong baby?” Sebastian asked. He followed her glare “are you,” he moved so he was right behind her “Are you jealous?”

“What? No.” she said irritated “yes” she sighed “I don’t want to be” she said sadly. He gently put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around

“It’s ok, doll” He ran his right thumb lightly down her cheek “just try to see how happy she is, happy like you and me” She nodded

“I know. I’m trying.” 

“Show time” the producer called into the room. Brodie gave Sebastian a quick kiss as she walked to the door. Nina came up next to her grabbing her hand because she was nervous, Brodie squeezed it fighting the urge to grab her in an embrace, kissing her, telling her to forget everything and run away together. Instead she took a deep breath, turned to Olivia and smiled trying to convey her approval. 

The interview took place in a VIP suite. There were three chairs, Brodie was told to sit on one end and Nina the other with Joan in the middle. A producer that Brodie recognized from that morning asked the questions. Brodie tried to stay as quiet as possible unless she was directly asked a question, she felt the need to let Joan, and especially Nina, have the attention. She laughed or agreed appropriately to what they were saying, staying engaged in the conversation. She sat blushing and squirming in her seat when Joan talked about how much she admired her and Nina, how much they had done for rock music and how many other female artists had called her to volunteer to play at the show that night. Brodie responded with “Well it’s too late to change your mind now, Joan.” The producer felt that was a perfect ending and the interview was finished. 

Joan’s tour manager asked her if she could watch the visual they wanted to play behind them during ‘Bad Reputation’ and see if it was ok. She agreed bringing Nina with her. It was a bunch of stills and video clips from both Brodie and Joan’s careers. Most of them with one or the other sneering, giving the camera the finger, or generally looking ‘badass’ as Nina called it. There was a clip of Brodie running full speed and stage diving into a huge crowd at an outdoor festival. “I don’t even remember that” she cringed “I would break a hip if I did that now” 

Several clips and stills featured Nina as well, one was of them on stage guitars slung over their backs brodie holding a bottle of vodka, Nina her usual tequila, up over their heads then clinking them together and chugging more than a human should be able to do. Brodie spraying the crowd spitting the last mouthful, Nina spitting straight up in the air. It looked amazing but they looked at each other and shrugged “when the fuck was that?” Nina said “I have no fucking clue” answered Brodie. They gave their approval to play it. 

As the show time inched closer they joined Joan in the waiting area. The others going out front to find their seats. Brodie nervously fiddled with the orchid charm that Sebastian had given her, it was her replacement to the obsessive singing of Bohemian Rhapsody she used to do. She had recently started to tape it to the notch at the base of her throat after someone in the audience had yanked on it one night. She knew she should take it off, but just couldn’t do it. It made her feel like he was with her all the time. The wardrobe people had tried to point out she had a giant picture of his face on her arm, but that was different. That was the character, this was the real Sebastian. 

They watched Joan perform from the wings. She was just so fucking cool, brodie thought. The tech came over, handing Brodie and Nina their guitars, they were up next. Nina turned to Brodie “I love you B, if you want me to not…” Brodie interrupted “I love you too, what I want is for you to feel like I do with Sebastian because you deserve it as much as I do.” 

“ok” 

“Alright, let’s fucking get this over with” They joined Joan on stage.

Joan counted off ‘Bad Reputation’ as the three made a semicircle, Joan in the middle her usual guitar stance, Brodie and Nina on either side legs wide, guitars low, furiously banging their heads to the guitar strums. Joan stepped forward to the microphone and sang the first verse. While Brodie and Nina stayed back in the same places stepping forward to sing back up for the chorus. Brodie sang the second verse, using the slight variation of ‘fuck’ for the word ‘damn’, then lead on the chorus, with Joan and Nina as back up. Nina belted out the third verse and lead on the chorus, she followed Brodie with the word change. The fourth verse was back to Joan who went along with changing words, which made Brodie smile wide, Joan lead the chorus. The final verse and chorus were done by all three together. 

Joan went to the microphone; she made a little speech about Nina and Brodie in the same manner that they had been doing at their shows. She then introduced Nancy Wilson. Joan motioned for Brodie to take the mic as they planned 

“Well I don’t know about you guys, but I’m having a fucking amazing night!” the crowd cheered “I want to thank Joan for having me here tonight and to Nancy Wilson for playing with us” Nina yelled “Me too!” from behind “Jennine says thank you too” She laughed “I also want to thank someone really special to me, it was his birthday yesterday and I wrote him a song to tell him how much he means to me and how much he has absolutely changed my life for the better. I’d like to share it with all of you, too.” The crowd cheered “This is called ‘Everything’ and it’s for Sebastian” She counted it off

In the crowd, Sebastian grinned from ear to ear. This version was fast and fierce, the four guitars gave it a grit that he felt in his chest. She sang it in a desperate rasp that turned more passionate as the melody hardened. When she sang the line ‘til the end of time’ for the last chorus the music stopped and she wailed out ‘You are, you’re my everything’ A Capella, trailing off at the very end. He had no idea how the crowd reacted he only heard her.

She stepped away from the front taking the guitar off her shoulders to switch to bass for the next song. Nancy Wilson leaned in and told her that if she recorded ‘everything’ she would love to play on it. She answered that she was going to hold her to it. Nina, sat behind the drum set, she hadn’t played in a long time but she did fantastic in the rehearsal. Brodie winked at her and mouthed ‘kick ass’ she nodded back, confidently. Joan came over and said “Take it kid” and motioned to the mic with a head nod. Brodie almost refused but then felt the orchid that was taped to her neck with the pointer and middle fingers on her right hand. She took a deep breath, turned to Nina signaling her to count it and stepped to the front again. 

There was a point somewhere in the middle of ‘Cherry Bomb’ that Brodie thought of her young self, listening to the radio in the cold cellar hearing this song come on. She would stare at the pictures of them in the worn-out magazine she had lifted from the candy store down the street, closing her eyes, pretending to be one of The Runaways. Imagining that she was strong and tough and free to be whatever she wanted to be, do whatever she wanted to do, have somebody, anybody love her. In 12 days, she was going to finally stand up for that girl when she would tell her story to Oprah at her ranch in Santa Barbara, but that night she let young Brodie live the dream of being a Runaway; strong, tough, free, and loved. 

Hanging out with Joan Jett was pretty fucking cool, she had to admit. She had so many stories, knew so many musicians, and she was super fucking funny. Brodie worshiped her every move. They were hanging out on Joan’s bus, Brodie, Sebastian, Nina, and Charles. Terri and Olivia were handling business somewhere. Joan was telling them about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony when she played with the surviving members of Nirvana. Nina piped in “Hey Brodie remember the time we messed around with Dave Grohl and then you scarred him for life?” Brodie blushed

“Oh, you have to tell it now kid” Joan said to her

“It’s nothing, shut the fuck up Nina”

“I wanna hear it, go on Nina” said Sebastian. Charles agreed. “Majority rules doll”

“Ok so” Nina began “this was back in the day like early-mid 90’s Kurt was still alive, so like 93?” Brodie nodded “This one” she pointed to Brodie “was on tour with Nirvana and her and Dave hooked up, like you do” Brodie put her face in her hand “were you divorced from fuckface yet?” 

“Um, I think so, I know we were definitely not together but I can’t remember if it was final or not”

“Ok so she had already been through the whole finding him in bed with her friend thing”

“Jesus Nina” Brodie looked up at the ceiling in frustration

“What? Anyway, I came to visit her somewhere and things, you know” she said it to Joan who nodded “That means we had a three way for you youngsters” she looked at Charles and Sebastian. Brodie now had both hands covering her face bent over with her head in her lap. Sebastian rubbed her back. “so, it’s the next day, we are super hung over and someone was a bit cranky” she pointed to Brodie “we were walking from the bus to some bus stop diner to get bitchface some coffee” Brodie looked up and glared at her “exactly, that look there. We hear Krist say to his girlfriend”

“His wife, or ex-wife” Brodie corrected

“He said to his WIFE that Dave’s fiancé was going to be at the next show…”

“Wait!” Joan said “Are you the…?” she stood up and pointed to the back of her thigh. Brodie nodded “Oh shit!” she held out her hand to shake Brodie’s. “I told him that one day I was going to meet that woman and shake her hand!” 

“it was an accident, kind of, I mean I meant to hit him but not scar him for life”

“Wait, somebody finish the story for the youngsters” Charles demanded

“Brodie found out that he was engaged the whole time he was messing around with her and she found out the morning after he messed around with both of us” Nina continued her story, Sebastian put his arm around Brodie’s shoulders “remember she had found her ex-husband fucking her friend, so she’s pissed!”

“I wasn’t pissed for myself but for his fiancé”

“Right, so she goes to the bus where Dave is and he’s a drummer, you know, so she grabs the first thing she sees which is a drumstick”

“But I didn’t notice it was a broken one” she explained

“Those fuckers can be sharp sometimes, so she finds him and she’s all ‘you stupid fucking asshole, how dare you fuck around on your fiancé’ and blah, blah, blah pointing the drumstick at his face and he’s all trying to make excuses and he somehow gets past her and starts to book it off the bus so Brodie fucking flings the drumstick at him and wham! He has a drumstick stuck in his thigh.” Everyone laughed as Brodie put her head down on Sebastian’s shoulder completely mortified. “so let that be a lesson to you Seb, never piss her off when she is hungover with any sharp sticks lying around” 

“Noted” he said still laughing “oh my god, doll. Have you seen him since?”

“oh yeah, we made up years ago. He actually is a really, really, nice guy. I mean we all did shady shit back then. His second wife is just lovely, she laughs every time Nina calls him ‘drumsticks’”

“I love that story! He wouldn’t tell me who it was, he just kept saying he was protecting the innocent” Joan said shaking her head “you’re pretty dangerous because I’ve seen pictures, his legs weren’t much wider than a drum stick back then!” 

“yeah, no shit. I have no idea how I did it, lucky shot I guess” Sebastian, Charles and Joan started talking about Sebastian’s knife skills from Winter Soldier

“Hey Brodie” Nina said quietly “who’s is bigger?” Brodie shook her head, then couldn’t help herself and pointed to Sebastian “son of a bitch, are you sure it’s real?”

“I mean pretty sure, unless you know, alien” she thought about it for second “Wait, Grohl has that space obsession too…”

“Fuck me!” Nina said loudly and they all looked at her “sorry, did I say that too loud?”

Hours later, flying back to New York, Brodie sat by the window staring at the framed photo Sebastian had given her. He was next to her, eyes closed with his headphones on. He reached out and grabbed her hand, she looked at him. His eyes were still closed but he was smiling. She put her ear against the headphone and listened close, it was a song from her solo work. She put the picture down. Pulling her hand away from his, she laid her head down in his lap, he put his arm over her. She was about to leave him again, this time 11 days. He was going to work in Europe again, and she was back on the road. It was harder every time because she loved him more each time she was with him. Now she was leaving his mom, too, his friends who she liked very much, his bed. This tour was almost over, and with it the band. He sighed. She looked up at his beautiful face, the little fold on the tip of his chin, his long eyelashes, his perfect lips. This tour is almost over, she repeated to herself, and then I get to come home to him.


	70. Coffee, Food, and You

The ugly business of burying your longtime former manager and younger brother in a legal apocalypse can only wait so long for you to address it. Thursday, Brodie had to step onto the battlefield. Early that morning Sebastian was at the gym as usual, while she was packing up talking to Terri on speaker phone. 

“Do I have time to meet with Emily?” she asked as she tried to find her bag that she put her make up into. 

“No, you don’t if you go on the bus, but, it’s only Philly we can take a short flight or something. Plus, if we do that then you can also stop and see Lexi”

“Wait, who the fuck is Lexi?” she looked under Sebastian’s bathroom sink “HA! Found it”

“Lexi is the girl from the GMA thing who plays guitar and worships you” Terri said slightly sarcastically

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know her name. Uhhhh, shit. Of course, we can fly out there or something, I’m not going to pass up the chance to go see Lexi. Did you get the white Strat from the tech?”

“Yes. I have it right here. You said the case, too, right?”

“yeah, so she can carry it around, you made sure it was a case that had my name on it, right?”

“Yes. Look Brodi, I think you should just stay in the City and fly out for the shows. At least for the first couple. They are only Philly, Hartford and Boston.”

“That’s more than a couple and you forgot Providence. You know I hate that whole ‘fly in for the show’ bullshit.”

“Yes, but you know damn well JD will show up, what if he brings Duncan?” 

“It’s not like I won’t see them if I only show up right before the show. Do you think they will think ‘Oh darn, we were going to confront her but it’s too close to show time’?”

“No but the less time they can get to you the better.”

“I agree” She jumped at the sound of Sebastian’s voice behind her. She sighed knowing that she would not win this one with him and it was going to be a fight anyway.

“Ok but I just have one question, what do you think they are going to do? I mean what, they’re gonna yell at me? Call me names? It will suck, but I’m not in any danger”

“Can you honestly tell me you 100% wouldn’t be in danger?” he asked her. She threw up her hands

“Can anyone say that at any time? I mean come on!”

“Look, I’ll help you move into your place, I can have the stuff from California sent over now instead of in September” Terri reasoned

“No. She stays here.” He held up his hand to her face before she could protest “Don’t fight me on this, I will be away and you will be there alone. At least you have a doorman here, some security, and your fucking brother doesn’t know where I live.” 

“Yes, but…”

“No ‘but’. Terri have the stuff sent here” he looked at Brodie “end of discussion” he turned starting to undress to get in the shower. 

She got ready to meet with Emily at her office, she was fuming, feeling like Sebastian had basically made the decision for her that she was staying in the city and at his place. Angry about having packed and now having to unpack, she just dropped all her stuff where it was, in a pile. She grabbed her bag and phone calling out “I have a meeting with Emily, I’ll be back later I guess” to Sebastian in the shower. 

When she got to the lobby, the doorman held the door open for her saying “Good morning Mrs. Stan, do you need a cab?” her mind was elsewhere, she smiled quickly at him answering “Good morning, no thanks I’m fine” She walked about half a block before it registered that he had called her ‘Mrs. Stan’. Wait, did he? she thought, then she shook it off. She had bigger issues at the moment. 

Standing on the subway platform her phone went off with a text from Sebastian

S- Where are you?  
B- I told you I have a meeting  
S- No you didn’t  
B- Yes, I did before I left, you were in the shower  
S- I didn’t hear you  
B- ok well I have a meeting  
S- With who?  
B- Emily. Gotta go subway’s here.   
S- Fuck why didn’t you take a car?  
She read the text but didn’t answer it. I’m a grown ass adult, she thought, I don’t have to clear it with you, I know how to take a motherfucking train. She was definitely pissed. She waited until she got off and was walking up the stairs to look at her phone again

S- Damn it Brodie. Answer me.  
B- ???  
S- What the fuck?  
B- What is it that you want?  
S- Why are you mad?  
B- Why do you think? Maybe because I had absolutely no say about staying in the city or at your place  
S- I’m sorry, you’re right. I should have asked you  
B- Dude, I have a meeting. I’ll see you when I get back  
S- I love you, doll

She put her phone on silent as she entered the office building. Terri was there and Olivia popped in for a short time as well. They talked about the Oprah thing, a few interview requests that came in after the GMA thing, Emily told her she had found out that many opportunities had been passed by without her knowing and word was she was ‘difficult’. Brodie’s mood did not improve with this information. 

Emily did have good news though, it seemed someone from Disney, possibly Marvel, had reached out to get an initial reaction to working with them. Emily told her she had heard it might be something along the lines of using her music in a film or possibly soundtrack work. They had apparently given up trying to work with her, but according to Emily’s source, they reached out one more time after the GMA interview went well. “you tell them yes, whatever it is, Disney is always yes. I will clean toilets at the fucking park for free, always a yes”

Walking out of Emily’s office, Brodie thought how much she wanted to share the good news with Sebastian even though she was irritated with him. She got out her phone and saw there was a voicemail from him:

“Brodie, I’m sorry. I really am, I just worry about you and I’m going to be far away. Please call me when you get done. I love you” she sighed and called him.

“Hey baby” he said when he picked up “are you still mad?”  
“Kinda, yeah”  
“I am really sorry. Are you done with your meeting?”  
“yeah”  
“you want to meet for an early lunch somewhere? I’m buying?”  
“yeah, ok” she sighed heavy  
“Are you still at the office?”  
“Yes”  
“ok, how about I meet you there and then you can pick where you want to eat?”  
“yeah, alright. I’ll wait downstairs” she knew exactly where she wanted to go  
“I love you”  
“I love you, too” she said it begrudgingly 

Waiting in the lobby, Olivia approached her “Hey Brodie, you got a second?” 

“Sure, I’m waiting on Sebastian, but what’s up?”

“This is personal, not business.” Brodie motioned for her to go on “I know that you and Jennine are close and you and I are just beginning to work together. I guess I just want to be sure that you are ok with her and I getting to know each other. I really like her, but I am also really excited to work with you. I think we can do a lot of great things together that will further your musical career. I guess it’s also a little bit that you could, with one word, end both relationships. Any idiot could see how much you two love each other”

“Look, Olivia, I am excited to work with you too. It is true that Nina and I are close, I’m sure she told you we have dated off and on for a long time. I do love her very much, but I am exclusive with Sebastian and I am in love with him like big time. All I want is for Nina to be happy. If you are good to her then you and I are all fine. So, you have my blessing or permission or what ever you want to call it.” Olivia visibly relaxed and the way her eyes lit up with the possibility to be with Nina changed something in Brodie. She was genuinely happy for them. “alright, give me a hug” she held her arms out to Olivia and they embraced. “Just love her like she deserves, ok?”

“I promise, I will” Brodie believed that she would. 

Sebastian showed up with a single white rose tied with a pink bow. He held it out to her with a pained look on his face worried that she was still really angry at him. He was so damn cute she took the rose sighing, dropping her head down in defeat. How was she supposed to stay mad at that face? He meekly opened his arms offering a hug and she stepped into his embrace wrapping her arms around his middle as he held her tightly against him. 

“I’m sorry, Brodie. I really am. I’m just worried about you. Especially after the phone call yesterday. I just want to protect you and I have to leave, again. I feel a little helpless so I got all…”

“Winter Soldier?” she offered

“Yeah. I know you want to travel on the bus and all that but could you please consider staying home and traveling to each show, just for a few of them? It would make me feel a lot less worried while I’m away. Please?” His face pleaded with her.

“Fine.” She sighed “but you have to know that I have been doing this a long time and I can take care of myself. I’ve been keeping myself alive since I was little”

“I know that, but now you don’t have to do it alone.”

“So now you are going to take me to lunch, right?” he nodded “anywhere I want to go?” He nodded again “well, get us a car because we are going to Jersey for pizza”

“Damn it, I didn’t even see that coming and it was so obvious.” 

She took him to the pizza restaurant where she had her first job when she was in High School. They would let her work a few hours every day after school and early on the weekends so she could keep it a secret from her mother and stepfather. She hid every penny she earned there and that was what she used when she left for New York. She ordered pizza and zeppole, which is a fried dough ball with powdered sugar, like an Italian doughnut. She watched him carefully as he took a bite, her eyebrows raised. He tried to show no reaction. They stared at each other waiting for the other to break. 

“fine, you win. It’s really good” he admitted reluctantly. She crossed her arms leaning back against the chair, victorious smile on her face. “Go ahead, say it” She shook her head no.

“I don’t need to, I’m just gonna sit here and enjoy being right” she picked up a zeppole “While I eat fried dough covered in sugar” She took a bite “I could live on these. Coffee and zeppoles that’s all I need.” 

“And those other cookie things?”

“Oooh, rainbow cookies, yes!”

“And pizza?” he took a huge bite then held the slice out for her. She nodded taking a bigger bite. Laughing with her mouth way too full, trying to chew, she pointed to him. “what?” he was still chewing and there was sauce around his mouth, he was completely adorable, she was done being mad at him.

“You. Coffee, food, and you” she handed him a napkin “do you want to see the house I grew up in?” she asked trying to sound casual about it. He paused mid wiping his mouth and nodded. When they finished eating, Brodie led him outside and across the parking lot to a break in the chain link fence that was the opening to a dirt path. They walked it and came out on a residential street between two houses. Brodie turned to the left automatically walking past several brick houses. 

The neighborhood was middle class with the typical late summer sights and sounds of kids enjoying being out of school. She stopped and pointed to a house across the street. It was just like any other house in the neighborhood, white aluminum siding with black shutters framing the front windows. There was a single large tree in the front yard to the left of where they faced and an actual white picket fence along the sidewalk. “There” she said. He wasn’t sure what he expected but it wasn’t something this mundane, this ‘normal’. He put his arm around her.

“Did it look like that when you lived here?” he thought maybe it had changed significantly

“Yeah, pretty much” she shrugged. “that one over there is where the guy who gave out the comic books lived.” She pointed to a bright yellow and brick house with white trim and a covered porch that stretched along half of the front. She smiled looking at it. “That is where the Captain America obsession began” She sighed out a short breath. “Ok, I’m good. Ready?” he nodded. They started to make their way back to the pizza place.

“Do you come back here a lot?” he asked taking in as much information as he could as they walked.

“Nope. This is the first time since I left actually” she said matter of fact. She put her hand in his “It doesn’t hold as much feeling as I thought it would. Maybe if I went inside, but looking at it from the outside wasn’t bad” he was going to say she should have told him, but he decided not to, she had to do it her way. “We gotta get back to the city, I need to see a little girl about a guitar.”

Terri had arranged a meeting with Lexi and Brodie through the girl’s mother Bonnie. Brodie wanted it to be just a quiet event, so Bonnie agreed to have Brodie come to their apartment. Lexi had no idea that she was coming so when the bell rang, Bonnie told her to get the door and stood behind her with her phone ready to capture the moment. 

“Hey Lexi, I’m Brodie I heard you had something to tell me?” The girl stood, a slow surprised smile spreading across her face. Then she screamed jumping up and down. Brodie followed her movements. Behind her Terri laughed, she loved that her boss was such a sweetheart. She was worried about how this whole legal mess was going to play out, hoping that it wouldn’t harden her. She watched as Brodie interacted with the girl; how kind, engaged, and truly interested she was. She handed Lexi the guitar case telling her it was hers. “I expect you to play on stage with me someday with this exact one, promise?” Lexi nodded and hugged her tightly “I signed it here so I will know it’s this one and that you took good care of it.” Terri decided whatever happened Brodie would always be Brodie.

Sebastian insisted on going with her to Philly, since she was coming back to his place anyway she really didn’t fight him on it. It was like a bonus day with him. Actually, two because he wasn’t leaving until early Saturday morning. Georgeta was thrilled that Brodie would be staying in the city for a few more days. Brodie thought of her saying she wanted to get to know her without Sebastian buzzing around and thought that it might be a good time for them to bond a little more. Nina decided she would also stay in the city “You know, in case you need me” she told Brodie who rolled her eyes and said “Yeah, sure. Nothing to do with the hot woman who lives here or anything” Nina waved her off “of course not” then she winked at Sebastian. 

Sitting in her dressing room getting ready for sound check, Brodie was going through her e-mails on her phone while resting her head on Sebastian’s shoulder. Terri came in without knocking and said “Brodie, JD is here with an army of lawyers and security. I heard him tell your tour manager that you’re fired from the band.”

“What!” Sebastian jumped up “Can he fucking do that?” he looked at Brodie calmly scrolling through her phone “Brodie? Did you hear what Terri said?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged “No worries, Tati. I got it handled” she gave her wicked scary smile.


	71. This Is Our Band Mother Fucker

Brodie walked out onto the stage. It was dark, but one of the roadies had a small flashlight to help her not fall on her face. The crowd was cheering for the beginning notes of the song. She looked to each of her bandmates. JD thought he would keep her from performing tonight, thought he would get the others to agree to pushing her out, she was ready for him. 

Earlier, when Terri had announced that JD was there claiming she was ‘fired’ from her band, she had casually gotten up and walked out of the dressing room. Sebastian followed. She turned to him “Look, this is band business, understand? You can be an observer only.” He had never seen her game face before, it was a bit intimidating, he thought, but also kind of hot. He suddenly felt a little bit of the appeal of being the submissive. He watched in curiosity as she knocked on the door of David’s dressing room, sticking her head in saying “It’s time”. Time for what? He thought. 

Brodie boldly walked up to JD who was standing with several men in suits and a couple of security guards from the venue they were in. “Hello JD, heard you were looking for me.” He looked at her angrily, something basic rose up in Sebastian’s gut, he really wanted to hit this guy. 

“Brodie.” He spit out her name. “It pleases me greatly to inform you that you are no longer a member of this organization” he smiled “according to the contract you signed, I can force a vote with the band members to get rid of any problems” he looked to the suits, a couple nodded in agreement. “You are the definition of a problem” she laughed at him.

“Oh JD, you have no idea what a problem I can be.” She looked to the group behind him “Are you going to introduce me to your friends? No?” Sebastian turned when he heard someone walking up behind him, it was the rest of the band. They stood behind Brodie. 

“Guys, I was just about to gather you together. Your bandmate has left the contract that we have together. I’m sure that you will agree this makes for a hostile working relationship. I’m forced to call a vote to terminate her services. I realize you have a show tonight and will be left without a singer last minute, but this is honestly not anyone’s fault but hers” he jerked his thumb towards her. She laughed again. 

“That was a lovely speech but unfortunately you no longer represent this band. Well, unfortunately for you, yay for us” she gestured to the band. “we had a meeting and we voted you out” she shrugged 

“The only one fired is you, asshole” Malcolm added “we know how you’ve been screwing us out of money, the way you bad mouthed us around, fuck you man”

“This is our band mother fucker” David came up and put his arm around Brodie’s shoulders and she wrapped her arm around his waist “Ours. We started it.” He gestured between them all “we’re the ones who got to this point working our asses off. How dare you steal from us?" 

“you are going to stand with her?” JD said to David “after what she did to you? Come on David, you afraid she won’t blow you for free anymore? I’ll throw you a fiver you can splurge on an expensive whore.” She knew he was going to go there, she mentally willed Sebastian to stay out of it. She felt someone come up beside her.

Brodie had known Jeremy since she was 16 and had never heard him raise his voice once, but he looked right into JD’s face and yelled “DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT”. 

It was so unusual that it stunned everyone into silence, quietly Brodie said “Tell Duncan I say hello” she smiled “and I’ll see him soon” Dave handed him the packet of legal papers that fired him and contained a cease and desist order. Soon he would be served with the lawsuit their new lawyers were filing as they spoke. JD knew he had lost this round, leaving in a huff. 

Dave pulled Brodie in close and kissed the top of her head. Jeremy and Malcolm joined the pair and they group hugged. Brodie put her hands on either side of Jeremy’s face squeezing, forcing him to open his mouth, pretending to look inside it “well fuck, look at that, he does have voice back there!” he laughed and pulled her hands off his face “You are scary when you yell, dude.” She hugged him “Is that your ‘dad voice’?” he just shook his head.

On stage, she looked forward, ready to sing. She took a deep breath in “This is our band mother fucker” she said as they began one of the best shows they had ever performed. She was almost sad they weren’t going to stay together after this tour, but Malcolm was right, it was time. The fact that they were ending it together left the opportunity to get back together occasionally, when they felt like it, all or nothing.

Sebastian had been pretty quiet about the whole thing. He had watched from the sidelines. Once the other members of the band had come in, he knew they had made some kind of a plan they were about to execute. He enjoyed watching it unfold and only had a moment of wanting to interfere but Jeremy handled it. Seeing Brodie lean into David, embracing him as he kissed her tenderly on the head, gave him a knot in his stomach. He tried to shake it off. He trusted her, she was his, he knew it with every cell of his being, but he didn’t trust David. Sitting with Nina later on he asked her about the relationship

“Hey, tell me about Brodie and David, do you think he’s trustworthy?”

“Hell no. I mean just the way they met tells you that he only sees what she can do for him. If she’s not doing something that benefits him, he turns on her in a microsecond.”

“How did they meet?” she shook her head

“Oh no, you need to ask her on that one. I’m sure she’ll tell you, she’s said stuff to you she’s never told anyone, Daddy” He narrowed his eyes at her “I know, I know, I’m just trying to make my point” 

“Did you know all about this plan they had?”

“No, I had no clue. I knew they had some super-secret band meeting the other night, that’s why she had Charles take you out for guy time, but I had no idea what it was about.”

“I feel like I completely underestimated her. I really feel like an ass that I pretty much told her she had to stay at my place because I thought she needed protection and the whole time she was working out this coup while protecting me.” 

“That is exactly why I approve of you though, big man. You don’t wait to see what she will do for you. Your instinct is to be there for her first.”

“Thanks Creeper. How’s it going with Olivia?” he wiggled his eyebrows at her. Nina blushed

“Good. We haven’t, you know, I’m still healing and all. It’s cool though because I just really love talking to her and stuff. We have made out a little” she smiled looking a little embarrassed 

“Good for you, Nina” he high fived her and they stood to bump chests “she is clearly into you”

“Yeah, you think?”

“Yes. If she wasn’t, Brodie wouldn’t be watching you so closely. She has the same look you did when you and I first met.”

“Homicidally jealous but cautiously happy for me?” 

“Yes” he laughed “Exactly”

The flight back to the city was a short one, she decided to keep the plan of staying there and flying out to shows for a few days. She wanted time to read through the diaries alone, before Oprah. She was determined to tell the truth and that meant going back to the memories she had worked so hard to forget and the one’s she had altered to make them easier. She wasn’t so sure about staying at Sebastian’s when he wasn’t there. It felt kind of intrusive to her. 

“Hey Sebastian, are you sure you’re ok with me being at your place when you aren’t there? I have a perfectly good place of my own to be at.”

“I’m sure. Doll, I thought we talked about this, you said you want to live together. Did you change your mind?” 

“No, but, we don’t yet and it’s your place, with all your stuff, and you won’t be there. What if I break something? What if I want to move or change something? What if I accidentally find some secret thing you are hiding?” she was starting to panic a little, he tried not to laugh because he knew she was serious but she was clutching onto the necklace he gave her like it was oxygen and she was adorable. 

“If something breaks we get it fixed or replace it or throw it away, you can move or change anything you want, if I don’t like it we can figure it out, and if you find my secret ‘thing’ then I have to either kill you or have your memory erased.” He pressed his lips tightly together and shook his head sadly, then smiled when she rolled her eyes. “Brodie, I love you. I want you to stay at our place but if you want to stay at your place, I won’t fight you.” 

“Damn it, did you just call it ‘our’ place?” she sighed “you did that on purpose.” 

“Is it because you don’t want to live there or that you don’t want to live with me?” the terror she would not want to live with him returned

“Neither, I just don’t want to invade your space too fast, or in the wrong way” she laid it out “I’m afraid you’re gonna change your mind. What if you change your mind after we actually live together and I’m not leaving to get on a bus in a couple of days? Like I will be there. All the time. Like LIVE there. All. The. Time.”

“I’m terrified you are going to change your mind. You will have to be with me everyday all day and night. What if I do something that makes you mad or drives you insane or something?” he threw up his hands “What if you figure out that I’m just a dork, who can be moody and dark sometimes, or who sometimes works too much or not enough or is super insecure or way too confident?”

“I hate to tell you, but I already know all those things. Those are all actually on the list of things that make me love you.” She kissed his cheek “I really do love you.”

“I really love you and I really do want to live with you. Do you want to live with me?” she shook her head yes “Ok, then” he squeezed her hand “just unpack your stuff already, it’s weird that you’re living out of a pile in the corner.” She laughed “please baby, live with me?”

“ok. I’m pretty sure Nina has taken over my place anyway, but even if she didn’t I want to have an ‘our’ place.” 

When they got to the apartment Sebastian stopped as they got a few feet from the door. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. “What are you doing?” she whispered loudly to not disturb any neighbors. 

“I’m carrying you over the doorway” he whispered back 

“That’s for when you get married and it’s not over your shoulder, put me down!” she laughed 

“Shhhhh” he opened the door, walking in he turned but underestimated the doorway bumping her head on the door jam. 

“Ouch!” she yelped then started laughing “put me down before you give me a concussion”

“oh shit, you ok?” he put her down and inspected her head where she was rubbing it “Sorry” he said laughing “I’m sorry” he laughed harder as he kissed her head where it was hit. She looked at him cross eyed and swayed 

“No worries I’m fine” she stumbled around reaching out like she was blinded. He laughed throwing his head back. “Be careful or I’ll call Jeremy to come kick your ass” she teased

“No shit! I jumped when he yelled! I didn’t expect him to be so scary” he scrunched up his face

“I have known him for years and I have never heard him even raise his voice. I’m still stunned”

“I owe you an apology” he was following her into the bedroom

“For what?” she said over her shoulder

“For underestimating you, for not trusting you could handle things without my help” she stopped just inside the doorway and looked at him

“Thank you, Sebastian, thank you. That means a lot to me. I can handle things but it is really great to know that I have you to help me when I need it” she kissed him. “I need to remember to let you” he nodded in agreement

“Maybe I could help you right now” he said starting to undress her “you look like you could use some help getting out of these” he unbuttoned her pants as he stared deep into her eyes “you were pretty scary too, I’ve never seen your serious face” he pushed her pants down her hips until they pooled around her ankles “it was pretty hot” she raised her eyebrows, he pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it “I almost wanted to switch to the sub for a second” her took off her bra “But I was made to be your daddy” he wrapped his right arm around her waist and pulled her in “Come on, get up here” she jumped up hooking her legs around his waist “tell daddy what you want”

“I want you to do whatever you want to me, because I’m yours, daddy. I’m all yours. I’ll do anything to make you happy” he pushed her back up against the bedroom wall, she sucked in a sharp breath as the cold surface pressed against her skin. 

“Right answer baby”

They were laying on the floor of the bedroom on their backs, both trying to catch their breath. “I swear I blacked out there for a second” she panted “My brain…couldn’t handle the pleasure” he laughed “told you…moves” was all he could muster. She stretched out her arm and patted him on the stomach “yeah you do” rolling over and slowly getting on her hands and knees, she gave up trying to walk and started crawling towards the door. He watched her, curiously.

“where you going?”

“Kitchen, I’m thirsty” she stopped to grab her shirt, crawling a little further, she found her underwear, she held one in each hand as she kept going to the hallway. He was extremely amused at her display. He sat up feeling the ache in his abs from the morning’s workout

“need some help there, grandma?” he joked pulling himself up to standing “don’t hurt yourself”

“You better hope I’m not YOUR grandma after what you just did to me” he laughed and scooped her up as he got to her, she was halfway to the kitchen. “Watch my head, I’m old and fragile one more blow and…wait, is that your plan? Make it look like an accident? Just so you know, Nina is on to you.”

“what the fuck are you talking about?” he put her down in front of the refrigerator then took the clothing from her hands “you don’t need these” he tossed them over his shoulder

“yeah, easier if you don’t have to undress the body” He blinked hard a few times then shook his head quickly “water?” she held up a bottle, he took it eyeing her suspiciously.

“Brodie, how did you and David meet?” she almost choked on her water

“What? Why? Where did that come from?” she stammered, surprised at the sudden change in subject. He shrugged. “Uh, we met here. In the city. When I was 16” she started to walk back to the room, he followed close behind. 

“How? Where? Under what circumstances?” he flopped on the bed next to her “tell me a story grandma” she smacked him playfully on the chest

“stop calling me that when we’re both naked. It’s creeping me out” she sighed “look you know that things were, that I was, not who I am now, right?” she sat up pulling her knees to her chest, holding her arms tightly around them. He rolled on his side facing her propping his head up on his hand, arm bent at the elbow.

“I know baby. Tell me”

“I had some money when I left but it went fast, of course. I needed to make more.” She looked at him, he just looked back at her not getting it “I only knew one way to make a lot of money Sebastian” the light of understanding went on in his eyes 

“so, he was, what? a customer?” he asked carefully

‘Sort of, more like I gave him something, he gave me something…” he looked confused, she sighed heavy “I’d … do stuff with him and he paid me in pharmaceuticals” she closed her eyes and hugged herself tighter. This is the thing that will make him leave me, she thought. I might as well just spit it out so we can get to the argument “anyway, he wanted to branch out, I didn’t have a handler, then I moved in to his place, one day he was playing with his band and I was in the bathroom putting on make-up, doing my hair and all that, I started singing along, they all thought I sounded good and blah, blah, blah, hit song, here we are.” She put her forehead down on her knees, waiting. 

“so, how old was he at this time?” he asked it like she just told him they met at church or something. “21” it was muffled with her head still down. “wow, I mean I never really liked the guy, but he’s a bigger asshole than I thought.” She braved a peek at him, he hadn’t moved but had a look that showed he was in deep thought. “he was a drug dealer before he met you, then when he went to rehab for drug addiction he blamed you, the balls on that guy, fuck” he sat up “I just figured out something” he said almost excitedly “his kid is almost 16, he’s got to be thinking about that. Did you tell him about the Oprah thing?” she shook her head no “but he knows Duncan was going to tell all, so he knows something is about to come out that will not make him look so good to his daughter who worships her godmother.” She looked up at him “that’s why he’s playing nice” He had a look of pride that he figured it out.

He fell onto his back next to her grabbing her elbow, pulling her arm until she let go of her knees. He looked at her “come here” he said like he had no clue what she was waiting for, he tapped his chest with his other hand. She slowly unwound herself then put her head on his chest laying against his side. He put his arm around her pulling her closer as he sighed. “Sebastian…” she started, he interrupted her “I knew that was probably in your past doll, I remember the conversation you had with that boy, Trevor.” It was her turn to blink hard in surprise “what I want to know is: what the hell did you mean by ‘is that my plan to make it look like an accident’?” She laughed “Seriously, what is Nina ‘on to’?” she laughed until tears formed. “Damn it Brodie, what is so funny?”


	72. I Hear Her Now

Sitting crossed legged on Sebastian’s bed, Brodie quietly watched him pack for his trip. The car picking him up for the airport was due in about an hour. He is as organized and efficient at packing as I am, she thought, road warriors. He looked up at her one brow raised “I feel like I’m forgetting something” She thought for a second

“Did you get all your bathroom stuff?” he nodded yes “underwear?” she wiggled her eyebrows, he held up a pile of neatly folded boxers “Uh, your girlfriend?” 

“that’s it! I knew I forgot something. Kindly get in my suitcase, please” he pointed “come on” she shook her head no, he saw the tears welling up. He sighed “it’s not gonna be that long, ok?” he said it for both of them. The previous morning, he had woken up to her trailing kisses from his ear down his chest over his stomach and eventually wrapping her lips around his dick. She told him that it was the 7th day breaking their record of 6 days together, he was looking forward to the day when they lost count.

“I know, I know, one week.” She collapsed onto her back “it doesn’t make me feel any better”

“Me either” he closed his suitcase and put it on the floor then climbed on the bed lying next to her. “Maybe I should just stay” he sighed

“No, of course you should go.” She turned towards him “I’m sorry, I’m pouting feeling sorry for myself, I’m making it harder on you.” She scooted closer to him, he turned so they were facing each other. He touched his nose to hers

“You’re not, I feel pouty too. I feel sorry for myself that the wake up I’ll be getting for the next week will not be as good as yesterdays” he frowned

“Well, just have whoever it is call me, I’ll walk them through it” 

“Funny” he said deadpanned “I will see you at D23 in one week and then we will go to Oprah’s house” she shook her head at how unbelievable that was “I’m not sure if you’re going to make it through the weekend, Disney and Oprah? I might have to revive you several times”

“No shit! I can’t even think about it too much. I’m gonna read through the diary’s this week so I remember things” she winced a little

“Are you sure you want to do that alone?” a concerned look on his face

“Yeah, I am. I need to hear my own voice on it, you know?” he nodded “I know if it gets too much, I have a bunch of people to call.” He pointed to himself “Yes, yes, you first. Always.”

“Tonight: Hartford, Sunday: Dark, Monday: Providence, Tuesday: Boston, Wednesday & Thursday: Jersey, then you go straight to California for Robert’s thing”

“Sebastian, too” Brodie looked up at Terri. They were sitting at the table in Sebastian’s place going over the weeks schedule.

“Yes, Sebastian will be there. Yes, I scheduled time with his PA. Then on Saturday we meet with the pre-production for Oprah, I still can’t believe I’m saying that, and Sunday is the big day.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying it either!” she was still not sure it was real. “Emily and Olivia are coming to California, too right? 

“Yes, Emily will be there on Wednesday, Olivia is going with you on the redeye, Oh and Emily has a stylist and all that for you. You meet them on Friday morning” Brodie made a yuck face “Don’t make that face, Sebastian always looks good so I would just trust her” 

“Fine!” she pouted “What about Nina? Is she coming too?” Terri shrugged Brodie picked up her phone and texted her

B- Hey you are coming to Oprah with me, right?  
N- (gif of Oprah pointing and yelling yes)  
B- (gif of Oprah crying)  
N- Seb gone?  
B- yeah, Terri is here with a list  
N- Ew, I’m on my way   
B- Bring coffee or booze or both  
N- I’m on it!

Her phone started ringing in her hand, she didn’t recognize the number but had a gut feeling to answer it anyway

“Hello”

“Hello, is this Brodie Lee?” she knew that voice and started to shake

“Yes” she mouthed to Terri ‘OPRAH’ as she pointed to the phone Terri’s mouth hung open

“This is Oprah Winfrey; I just wanted to say hello and tell you how excited I am to get to talk with you next Sunday. I know that the subject will be very difficult for you but I think it is very important”

“Yes, thank you, I am…I um, I have to be honest I’m a little in shock right now.” She laughed nervously “I am such a big admirer of you and this is like unbelievable that I am talking to you”

“Oh, aren’t you sweet. Don’t worry I have a feeling we will get along just fine. Just remember to speak from your heart and know that if there is anything you do not want to talk about, I respect that decision, alright?”

“Yes, ma’am. I will do my best. I am trying to remember that this is for my younger self, I am standing up for her.”

“YES! That is what it is all about. You are going to change lives girl; I promise you that.” Brodie thanked her and they said their goodbyes. She immediately texted Sebastian, Terri had taken a picture of her on the phone and she sent that with it. When Nina got there, they both excitedly told her the story.

She rode high on the conversation for the rest of the day. It sucked that she had to keep it a secret from everyone else, but if the sneak attack on Duncan was going to work, she couldn’t trust anyone but the four who had exposed the truth to her and Georgeta. She had a brunch date with her on Sunday morning. Even though she was exhausted and wickedly hung over from the night before, Brodie was up early and ready to go when Georgeta arrived at Sebastian’s place. When she opened the door Georgeta stood there with two large bags.

“Oh geesh, let me help you with those” Brodie grabbed one attempting to take the second one when Georgeta waved her off “what is all this stuff?”

“Food. I know my son is not big on cooking so this place must be pretty empty as usual AND” she said stopping Brodie from commenting “I know you had a show last night and must be tired, so I decided to eat here instead of going out” she patted Brodie on the cheek “sit fetiţă, let me take care of you.”

“Ok but let me make the coffee at least” Georgeta nodded her approval “Thank you, it’s very sweet of you to do this” Brodie timidly started to hug her and Georgeta firmly hugged back.

“How was your show?” she asked taking things out of one of the bags. “Did it go well?”

“Yes, it was good. We are finally having fun again; it’s been a long time. We, me and Nina, covered Slater-Kinney.” Brodie started to help and Georgeta gently slapped her hand away and pointed at her to sit.

“Sebastian said you are moving in here?” Georgeta said casually “are you sure you want to be in this place?” 

“ah, well I…yes I guess” she didn’t know how to answer 

“I think maybe you should find a bigger place for you both, you don’t want to feel like a guest all the time. It should be your place too” Brodie was surprised that she seemed to have thought this out. “Seb said you have a place?”

“yes, but it’s way smaller than this. In Little Italy. Nina is staying there for now.” She paused “Georgeta, are you ok with us living together?”

“Of course,” she looked surprised at Brodie’s question “I do feel a little badly for you fetiţă, he is not easy to live with” she chuckled “so dramatic” she put the back of her hand to her forehead and sighed.

“Yes, I know, but I’m no picnic. I always feel like I’m the one everyone looks at and thinks ‘well at least my life’s not THAT bad’. There’s always some new issue with me.” She rolled her eyes

Georgeta looked at her thoughtfully “I think people look at you and wonder how you are so strong, so loving and so smart after all you have been through” Brodie blushed “Tell me about your Grandmother, Seb said she raised you until what age?” Georgeta had finished unpacking the food and sat down to eat with Brodie at the table.

“Six. Uh, she was sweet, funny, and very strict about manners. She spoke Italian so we, I, spoke Italian only until I went to kindergarten. She let me cook with her from before I can remember and she used to sing all these old Italian songs as she worked around the house or in the yard. She was devastated when my mother took us away. She told me ‘Brodie, you have to take care of your brother. He is your responsibility. If anything happens to him it is your soul that will be marked.’ She made me promise over and over.” She repeated her grandmother’s words “Promettimelo, promettimelo, la mia bambina, promettimelo!” 

“That is a big promise for a baby to keep” she covered Brodie’s hand with her own “I’m sure she understood you couldn’t protect him from everything, when you were just a baby yourself”

“I don’t know. I mean, I hope she did. I did the best I could for a long time. I wanted to tell her that I did what she said, but by the time I was old enough and could find her she was sick. Alzheimer’s” Georgeta nodded understanding, she had lost her husband, Sebastian’s stepfather to the disease. “she was in a home when I found her. I had just earned my first royalties from the first hit song we had. I moved her to this super fancy place so she would be more comfortable. I went and saw her every day I could, but she passed about 9 months later. I think, or I like to think, she recognized me once. She put her hand on my cheek and said I love you, but…” she shrugged

“Of course, she did! She knew the whole time, that was just the one time she could show you” Brodie smiled at that. “I know it’s not the same but I am very proud of you and everything you have accomplished.”

“Thank you.” Brodie said quietly with her head down “That really means a lot” 

When Georgeta had gone and Brodie was alone, she got out the diaries she had kept safe for so many years. Somehow, she had known that one day she would need them. She curled up on the red chaise wearing one of Sebastian’s t-shirts and a pair of cut off shorts. The shirt smelled like him, it made her feel braver. She opened the first one, it smelled like the basement room she grew up in and for a second she thought she might throw up, but she took a deep breath and started to read. 

It took her a little bit to figure out her grade school handwriting and spelling. She was left-handed and the school tried to force her to use her right hand, but somewhere around middle school they gave up and her handwriting greatly improved. After several pages she had gotten up and grabbed one of her notebooks and a pen. She needed to make notes on the key clues she had left herself. She was halfway through the third one when Sebastian called

“Hey, how’s it going?” she said when she picked up  
“Ok, we have a few reshoots left. How are things there?”  
“Good, I had breakfast or brunch with your mom today. She brought over food because you don’t cook” he laughed “Also she thinks this place is too small for us and we should move”  
“Crap, I didn’t tell you that I told her, did I?”   
“No, but it’s ok. It just surprised me that she was ok with it”  
“Yeah, I’m beginning to feel like she likes you more than me now”  
“Aw, you think so? That would be awesome” she teased  
“what are you doing right now? Finding all my secret hidden stuff?”  
“No, mine actually. I’m reading the diaries.”  
“oh yeah? How you feeling?”  
“Ok right now. There’s a lot…I… this sounds weird but I hear her now.”  
“I get what you mean. You sure you’re ok?”  
“yeah. I feel like an observer. I’m sure it will hit me at some point, but I feel separated from it right now”

It hit her on Monday night, she was asleep in Sebastian’s bed. She was exhausted from the Providence show and the flying back and forth. She had gotten a call from Emily earlier that day, she said Disney had set up a meeting with her for Wednesday and she would call Brodie when she found out what they wanted. She had joked that maybe they wanted her to remove their intellectual property from her skin. This somehow became part of her dream. 

She was running trying to hide from a guy in a suit and a mouse ear hat that had a giant razor who wanted to cut off her tattoo. She ran into an open door and she was inside the basement room. Not her bedroom but the ‘bad room’. She hated it there. Suddenly she was small again her stepfather grabbed her arm and yelled in her face ‘you need to choose little girl, you or him?’ ‘me’ she said in a tiny but determined voice ‘don’t fight me again’ he hissed at her ‘or else’ he held her by the shoulders tightly pushing towards a shadowy man ‘she’s fine now just a little shy’ and the shadow turned into the mouse ear suit man. She forced herself awake. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, she said over and over in her head. She balled herself up as tightly as she could, her back against the headboard so no one could sneak up from behind. She scanned the dark room for movement. I’m not there, I’m a grown up now, she said to herself. She grabbed the necklace around her throat. Call Sebastian. No, don’t bother him. She argued with herself. She picked up the phone.

Georgeta arrived folding Brodie into her embrace without a word. She led her to the couch and sat down with her holding her close and stroking her hair. She whispered to her in Romanian and Brodie relaxed in her arms. She fell asleep with her head in Georgeta’s lap, snuggled inside a blanket Georgeta pulled out from the closet. At some point she had tucked her into Sebastian’s bed, Brodie woke up looking for her. She found her asleep on the bed Nina had stayed in when she was there. Georgeta opened her eyes sensing Brodie’s presence and motioned for her to come lay down. She did and Georgeta put her arm around her holding her as she had held Sebastian when he had bad dreams. Brodie sighed relaxing, she fell asleep feeling safe and protected.


	73. You Should NEVER Do That!

Sebastian was surprised to see his mom was calling. It had to be, what, close to 3:30 a.m. in New York? There had to be something wrong. He answered expecting the worst. 

“Mama, ce nu e bine?”  
“Everything is fine. Nu-ţi face griji. She is asleep on my lap”  
“Who is? Wait, Brodie? Is she ok? What happened?”  
“Calm down Sebastian, she had a bad dream. She called me and I came over. She’s fine now”  
“She’s been reading her diaries from when she was young.”  
“Poor girl. I will stay with her.”  
“Multumesc mama, thanks for calling me. Will you have her call me later?”  
“Of course, fiul”

He was already missing her. When he had woken up that morning he had reached for her, sadness came over him when he realized she was far away from him again. He didn’t let people in very easily, he knew he came off as quiet and standoffish a lot. Once he got to know people he was more open, but initially he was pretty guarded. Mackie teased him he had ‘serial killer resting face’, but Brodie called it ‘intense staring’ and she said it was one of the things that made her agree to go out with him. Brodie was different than everyone else, as soon as he met her he couldn’t put the usual guard up and he didn’t want to. She didn’t let people in either, she was friendly, but only a very select few knew the real Brodie. For some reason they both opened up to each other almost immediately. No one knew her like he did and vis versa. 

It had been a few hours since his mom had called, Brodie had to be awake by now. He was getting cranky wanting to hear her voice to know that she was ok. It was probably not a good idea to get on the internet when he was feeling anxious, definitely not a good idea to read comments about the announcement that he and Brodie were dating. He was more than just cranky now, when his phone rang he practically jumped on it

“Hey baby doll”  
“Hey, your mom told me to call you as soon as I woke up”  
“Are you ok? What happened?”  
“I’m fine, really. Your mom was very sweet, she just left. How are you?”  
“I’m fine. Brodie, what happened?”  
“I had a bad dream, it made me have a flashback, I picked up the phone to call you and your mom was the last person I called and when I saw her name I just…” she trailed off “I hope you’re not mad that I called her”  
“I’m so glad you did, I wish I was there with you, but I’m glad she was at least.” he sounded sad  
“I love you Sebastian, you’re always with me”  
“I love you too”  
“What’s wrong, Sebby? Work ok?”  
“Work is fine. I did something stupid, I went on the internet and read comments” he confessed  
“Oh crap, you should NEVER do that.” She chuckled “Do I want to know?”  
“No probably not, just comments about us. There seems to be a big age gap or something that the internet wants me to know about.” He joked  
“Yikes, I got a little of that right after the interview. Some girl told me I was too old for you”  
“You didn’t tell me that. What did you say?”  
“Nothing I just let it go. I was good, but I wanted to say something nasty.”  
“I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” She could hear his irritation  
“Sebastian, it’s only going to get worse after the Oprah thing. You know what people are going to say, what the press and the internet will call me? There will be jokes and nasty messages. It’s going to reflect on you if you…”  
“DON’T finish that. We have already worked this out.” He sighed heavily. He knew what would be said or he could guess anyway. He wanted to be able to not care, but it bothered him that anyone would hurt her. “Brodie promise me you’re not gonna try to protect me by pulling away or breaking up with me or some other stupid shit, because I swear to god I don’t have the patience”  
“I really wish I could say I was noble enough to do that, but it’s too late. I’m way too attached to you. Plus, I’m a selfish spoiled ‘rock star’ I get what I want and I want you, forever. You’re mine Sebastian Stan, you’re not getting away that easy. I know where you live and I have a key” 

It was exactly what he needed her to say. He felt a huge weight had lifted off his shoulders after he talked to her, she had a way of making him feel better. He was leaving the next day for L.A. and the D23 Expo and he would see her after. Her tour was almost over, his time out of the country was almost over, they were close to being together more than apart. 

Brodie’s band played Boston that night, Evans had already called him saying he was going. He wanted to make sure he knew in case the internet went crazy with rumors. Sebastian teased him that he should probably let Mackie know too so he didn’t hunt him down. He went to bed thinking of Brodie, how she felt in his arms, how she looked when she was sleeping, the way she would react to him putting his hand on her lower back. He played the recording of her singing the first song she wrote for him and fell asleep smiling.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my cheating ex-girlfriend”

“Hey Chris!” Brodie jumped up in his arms kissing him on the cheek. “So good to see you”

“Good to see you too” he put her down gently “I brought this one with me” He pointed behind him to his brother Scott. She screamed happily jumping into Scott’s embrace. He introduced her to his boyfriend Zach, Brodie felt like she knew him already the way Scott had talked about him, so she hugged him too. 

The show was great. The crowd was loud and really into it they gave an energy that the band fed off of, Brodie felt invincible. She had thought about the fact that Evans being there could stir up the rumors so she made sure to wear her “Lol you’re not Sebastian Stan” shirt for the encore. They covered Chrissy Hynde and The Pretenders. Nina took lead on ‘Middle of the Road’ and Brodie did ‘Brass in Pocket’. She had fun with it, flirting with Nina in an over exaggerated way that had them both laughing by the end. The crowd loved it and they were having so much fun they played an extra song spontaneously. 

Brodie and Nina hit the bars with the Evans’ brothers and Zach. Scott and Zach bowed out eventually, but Chris, who Brodie was now calling ‘Captian party boy’, could keep up with them, drinking and dancing until the sun was almost up. Then he took them for breakfast at a local diner, they had a great time. Brodie ended up falling into Sebastian’s bed as most of the city was already at work, she was grateful for the exhaustion and the alcohol. There would be no dreams, no panic, no flashbacks. Tonight, and the next, they would play in Jersey, her home state. She had reached out to Queen Latifa’s people and by some miracle she had agreed to come do a couple songs for the encore tonight. Brodie was a fan but she didn’t think she could do any justice to one of her songs except maybe the ‘who you callin’ a bitch?’ line from ‘U.N.I.T.Y.’. When she told her that, Queen Latifa had laughed and told her that’s because she’s a Jersey girl. 

She was anxious when she woke up, she didn’t remember any dreams but there was a lingering sense of panic. She paced, tried to keep busy, looked for something to watch on tv, paced again. She put her shoes on, grabbed her phone and wallet and went downstairs. When she hit the lobby, she realized where she was going.

“Excuse me?” she asked the doorman “I’m sorry I didn’t learn your name”

“It’s Andrew” he said smiling warmly “how can I help you Mrs. Stan”

“Uh, no, no, not Mrs. Stan, nope, nope. Please just Brodie” she stammered quickly “I was wondering where the closest place to buy a pack of cigarettes is?” she knew she should not buy cigarettes alone, but she was anxious and irrational at the moment and needed a vice. Andrew gave her directions to the nearest store. She thanked him relieved that he showed no signs of judgement. She stepped out onto the streets and blended in with the late afternoon crowd.

They took a car out to Jersey, Nina commented that Brodie was awfully quiet. She just shrugged in response. When they arrived at the venue Brodie asked for a White Russian, Nina lifted one eyebrow in question at her but didn’t say anything. After the soundcheck, Brodie quietly slipped out on the balcony to the smoking area 

“I thought you quit?” Nina had been through drinking-smoking-fucking-anything-that-moved Brodie she knew the signs.

“Jesusfuckingchrist!” Brodie jumped at Nina’s question “I did” Nina looked pointedly at the cigarette in her hand “I started again” she shrugged

“What’s up B?” Nina took the cigarette from her hand and tossed it

“Hey!” Brodie pushed her on the shoulder “Dude!”

“Don’t ‘dude’ me, what’s wrong? Are you and Seb ok?” 

“Yes, we’re good” she sighed “I’m just anxious or something” She automatically took out another cigarette, Nina grabbed the pack from her.

“ONE! That’s it! Make it count” she was pointing her finger in Brodie’s face, when Brodie lit it she put her hand out for the lighter. She reluctantly handed it over.

“Fine. I’ll ‘make it count’” she mocked her.

“You should know by now that the angry bitch routine doesn’t work with me, but go ahead if you need to be 3-year-old to feel better” Nina said casually

“Fuck off Nina, you’re not the boss of me” she said it like a toddler on purpose

“no, you’re right I’m not.” She took her phone out of her pocket as Brodie went closer to the balcony’s edge with her back to her. Nina brought up Sebastian’s info, all she had to do was tap his number she held it up to Brodie’s face

“you’re, what? Going to tell on me?” she turned to face her 

“Hey, you wanna act like a child I’ll call Daddy. You want to have a conversation like an adult, then start talking” Brodie knew when she had lost a round, she gave in and told Nina about the diaries, the nightmare and calling Georgeta. Nina listened carefully, she told her to call Sebastian and tell him that maybe she wasn’t that ok after all.

“I don’t want to bother him, he’s got his own things to worry about”

“Brodie don’t be such a fucking idiot” Nina, always right to the point, Brodie thought. “You are the thing he worries about”

The Jersey shows went even better than the Boston show. Brodie poured out her anxiety on stage. She played with a fierce focus and by the end of the second show she was bruised and bloody pushing herself to the limit in order to keep herself from having to face the memories that were now coming at her in a constant stream. Nina was the only one that knew she was struggling, she was keeping a constant eye on her so the usual cocktail of extreme drinking and smoking were out. The fucking anything that moves option had become obsolete the moment she met Sebastian, so pushing herself to the point of abuse was all she had. 

It was early morning when they landed at LAX. Brodie only had a couple hours before she was going to be attending Robert’s induction as a Disney Legend. She had to get to the hotel in Anaheim she was using to get ready as Nina went to her house to sleep. She quickly texted Sebastian that she was there and she would see him later that night. He had gotten there the day before for The D23 Expo and the Disney+ panel. She called Robert

“Disney legend speaking” he answered  
“Oh crap, is that how you’re gonna be now?”  
“You here yet?”  
“yeah, I’m on my way to the hotel to change. Don’t say it. I meant change my clothes only”  
“can’t wait to see you darling”  
“yeah, you too”

She had decided to look extra nice for the event, she was so proud of him, so when Emily had offered a stylist for today too, Brodie caved and said ok. She entered the hotel room to a full team, she looked at Terri who nodded that this was the place. She was fussed over as Terri went over schedules and business details. She had no idea how Sebastian did this all the time, it was so stressful to her. She only refused one thing, to remove the necklace Sebastian had given her. She had to admit though, she looked good. The makeup artist did a fantastic job of covering any bruises or marks that would show, plus she had fingernails again, even though they were glued on. The stylist had really honed in on her style turning it up just a touch. She was wearing a classic 40’s style outfit, high-waisted dark grey pants with a metallic grey blouse, the shoes were grey and black Oxford heels. “I feel like Peggy Carter” she happily whispered to Terri who nodded in approval. 

She arrived at the Anaheim Convention Center on time. She found Robert and Susan inside, he stood back and did a double take at her, taking off his glasses and inspecting them then putting them back on blinking.

“Yeah, that’s right, I look good” she put her hands on her hips tossed her head back. Robert whistled “Your wife is right there” she said pointing

“I know I was whistling at her, you look decent darling” he smiled as she rolled her eyes. They hugged tightly 

She went and hugged Susan kissing her on the cheek “where’s Seb?” Susan asked

“Uh, he’s here somewhere. He has the Disney+ thing today, I won’t see him until tonight sometime” she smiled sadly shrugging one shoulder

“Brodie! Lovely to see you again.” She turned to see Robin Roberts who came up and hugged her, she was also being honored as a Disney Legend. Robin introduced her to her partner Amber. “our interview was a big success” Robin said “We need to do a follow up soon” Brodie told her she was willing to at any time.

Susan and Brodie made their way to their seats. Brodie showed Susan some pictures of her and Sebastian from the past few months when she asked how things were going.

“You two look so cute together” Susan said putting her arm around Brodie’s shoulders “I knew he was a keeper” Brodie smiled at her

“I am so in love with him Susan, I didn’t think it was possible”

“I know, we had so many talks about it and I told you it was, didn’t I?”

“yes, but I thought you were just being nice” Susan laughed “You know about Duncan?” Susan nodded “I’ve been reading some diaries from back then” Susan knew what she meant by ‘back then’ “I am remembering a lot the past couple if days, it’s been rough”

“Are you ok? Do you need anything?” 

“Yeah, I’m ok. My point was that, I wasn’t able to do it before. See it like it actually was, because I was missing something, someone.” Susan squeezed her tight “he’s my Susan”


	74. I’m Tired Of Being This

“Robert is officially a Disney Legend. He’s making us call him ‘Sir’ now.” That was what Brodie had captioned the picture of herself and Robert she posted on her Instagram. Followed by a couple of eyeroll emojis. Robert responded “Everyone except you, you need to call me ‘your highness’ now”. She laughed when she read it and responded “Don’t hold ur breath”. They didn’t normally display their friendship on social media but she was proud of him being honored, so she made the rare exception. 

Brodie wasn’t one to post a ton anyway, Nina was much more active than her, most of the private pictures of her on social media were from Nina’s accounts. Terri had recently started to look at her presence on the internet mentioning to Brodie that they needed to work on it once she was done with the tour. Terri had used the phrase ‘clean it up’ whatever that meant. It left her wondering again how she ever got along without Terri with an ‘i’. It was the one truly great thing she had gotten from JD. 

She was still at the convention center mingling with the ‘legends’, having her photo taken, the whole thing that goes with an event like that. She thought about how different it felt then the premiere for ‘Endgame’, she didn’t worry about what she might say, Olivia was there nodding and smiling with every interaction she had. She felt more confident. Emily appeared right before she was ready to call it a day, asking Brodie to stay a little longer and walk down the press line. She agreed, saying goodbye to Robert and Susan for now, they had planned to have dinner the next night. 

Emily led her, with Terri and Olivia in tow, to the press area. “Darn, I was kinda hoping you were secretly taking me to see Sebastian” Brodie joked. As she looked at the line of reporters waiting, she started to get a little overwhelmed.

“Brodie, you’re gonna do great. All you have to do is smile and be yourself. What’s the worst thing that can happen” Olivia knew instantly that was the wrong thing to say. Brodie eyes widened as the color drained from her face “No, no, don’t panic!”

Just then a woman walked up and handed Brodie a lanyard. “uh, thank you, what is this for?” 

“Security, all talent has to have one” and she walked away.

She whispered to Olivia “What talent?” 

Olivia laughed put her arm around Brodie’s shoulders and said “YOU” Aw, fuck I have to talk, she thought. She looked for something to puke in but didn’t see anything. “Brodie, you got this.”

Thankfully, performance Brodie took over once she stepped into the press line. Olivia told her to wait as she went to talk to a male reporter, she turned and waved to Brodie to come to her. Olivia introduced them and stepped back. She did a quick interview, the reporter thanked her, and she turned to Olivia. They repeated the process several times. Somehow Brodie actually relaxed a little, Olivia was in charge.

“Brodie Lee, nice to see you again” it was the reporter from the Endgame premiere that told Sebastian about her tattoo.

“Nice to see you too” Brodie smiled at her

“Why don’t you tell us why you are here today, it was a pretty big event, right?”

“Yeah, Robert Downey Jr was inducted as a Disney Legend this morning” she said proudly

“You two have been friends for a long time, over 10 years?” she asked just as something caught Brodie’s eye behind her

“Uh, oh longer than 10…” she saw Sebastian walking by and they made eye contact, she smiled for a second then remembered she was saying something “…um more than 20 years now.”

“Wow, so tell me what is it like to see a close friend like that go from where he was when you met him to Iron Man and now to Disney Legend?”

“It’s amazing to watch someone you care about set a goal and not only make it but go so far beyond it, it’s inspiring really.” 

“So, the last time we talked was at the Endgame premiere” Brodie nodded, here we go, she thought “when I talked to Sebastian Stan that night I mentioned you have a tattoo of him on your arm” Brodie scrunched up her face “he said you had never met, but now…” She was blushing pretty badly “… do I maybe get a little credit for a love connection?” Brodie laughed

“well just for the record the tattoo is of Bucky Barnes, but you know, if you want to take some credit, you go ahead” the reporter held her fist up in triumph

“Yes!” they ended their on camera talk and the reporter touched Brodie’s arm “Congratulations I hope you two are very happy together. I saw that smile when he walked by. You look amazing by the way.”

“Thank you so much. I’ll admit I was mad at you at first for telling him that, but you know it worked out” They laughed and said their goodbyes.

Brodie moved on to the Disney host, she was a couple of questions in when she heard “Bro-Bro” coming from her right “Bro-Bro!” she sighed and rolled her eyes “There she is!” Mackie said spotting her “That’s my Bro-Bro” she looked over at him

“We talked about that name” she joked. He came over and hugged her. She looked at the host in apology but he was beaming at the display

“I told you it was going to grow on you” he said winking at her

“No, it has not grown on me, Anthony!” she looked to the host “it has not grown on me” Mackie turned his attention to the host now

“This is my girl, Bro-Bro” she rolled her eyes shaking her head no “look at you, she is looking fine today, you are smokin’ hot, whooo!”

Brodie put her hand to her face “Oh boy” 

Mackie took one of her hands and turned her around and then back again “mmm-mmm, beautiful” He looked at the host “I need to borrow her for a second, she is too gorgeous I need to show her off” he pulled her back through the line. She looked to Olivia helplessly, who looked back amused.

Mackie stopped behind Sebastian who was talking to a reporter Brodie had talked to earlier. She said “Anthony no!” through her teeth. He just ignored her. “Sebastian, my friend!” Sebastian turned to look at him

“Brodie, have you met my friend?” he said pointing to Sebastian who dropped his chin to his chest, they both blushed fiercely. 

“uh, no I don’t think so” she walked over to Sebastian with her hand out to shake as he smiled scrunching up his face “I’m Brodie” He looked so good in all white she wanted to jump in his arms.

“Sebastian” he said shaking her hand “nice to meet you” they both laughed 

“Aw, look at how adorable they are” Mackie said standing between them putting his arms around each of their shoulders. Brodie covered her face with her hand as Sebastian shook his head trying not to smile. They both looked away from each other trying not to laugh.

“Ok, I gotta get back, now” she tried to walk away but Mackie grabbed her wrist

“Stay with us Bro-Bro. Come on! It will be fun!” 

“No, no, no” she started to protest

“Seb, back me up here” Mackie hit the back of his hand on Sebastian’s chest

“I mean, I think he actually has a good idea for once.” Sebastian said. 

She looked to Olivia for help, she mercifully came and swiftly escorted her away. Olivia was beaming “That was perfect!” she gushed “introducing yourself to Seb was adorable” Brodie went and finished the interview Mackie pulled her away from. 

When she was finally done and out of the press area, Brodie sat down hard in the first chair she saw, putting her hands over her face, dropping her head in her lap. She wanted to escape, she was running on almost no sleep for the past three days, had pushed her body to its’ limit, and she felt bad the she had totally invaded her boyfriend’s space, quite possibly embarrassing him. “Well, I think I’ve done enough damage for today” she told Terri “Can we go now?” Terri went to go ask Olivia. She sat up and dropped her head back looking towards the ceiling. She closed her eyes and had a flash of a memory, she jumped up and stated pacing.

“Hey!” Terri said walking up 15 minutes later “Brodie, I got a car for you” she grabbed Brodie’s elbow and lead her through a hallway then stopped in front of a bathroom “Go” Terri told her. She started to say she didn’t have to, but Terri widened her eyes and tossed her head towards the door. She went inside 

“Hey Doll” she ran into his arms “I missed you so fucking much” he said holding her tight “I have like 5 minutes before they hunt me down” she just held on to him, feeling his arms around her, smelling his cologne, hearing his heartbeat. She wanted to cry, beg him to leave with her and run far, far away but she pushed it down.

“I missed you too. Five minutes is better than nothing.” She looked up at him and smiled. “you look so good”

“you look so fucking beautiful, like always” he put his forehead on hers closing his eyes for a few seconds then he kissed her tenderly. She melted. 

Terri knocked on the door and loudly whispered “times up”

He sighed and squeezed her tightly again “I love you, I’ll see you in a few hours, your hotel” she nodded and smiled

“I love you too. Go before you get in trouble” she kissed him quickly. He started to walk away then stopped and turned to look at her, she smiled and winked. “Go!” she pointed. He smiled and then walked out. She waited until she was sure he was gone and let out a shaky breath. It took all her will to not let on that she was falling apart quickly from fear and exhaustion. She pulled it back together and walked out to Terri “Thanks for that” she told her “I’m ready to go”

Brodie, exhausted but terrified to sleep and dream went to the hotel bar. She bought a bottle after sweet talking the bartender and took it back to her room. She got undressed not wanting to ruin the nice clothes the stylist had picked out for her. She sat on the edge of the bed and downed as much vodka as she could. Just black out, she told herself. The last thing she remembered was feeling cold so she got under the covers, then feeling the bottle slip from her fingers. Need to get that, was her last thought. 

“Brodie!” she heard it from far away “BRODIE” why so loud, uh “Hey, hey” who is shaking me, quit it “Baby, wake up” oh it’s Sebastian I like him “open your eyes, come on” she winced opening her right eye a sliver. He made her sit up by putting his arm under her shoulders and lifting her up. She squinted up at him, chin to her chest. She reached out to touch his face but her arm was so heavy, she gave up. She was still drunk, she just wanted to sleep, she tried to lay back down. “Nope, we’re getting up” 

“bitch, who’s we?” is what she tried to say but it came out more like ‘bissshhh, woo wee”

“Ok, sure” Sebastian had no idea what she said but he knew she was about to puke and he didn’t want her to choke “Come on, up” He finally just picked her up and carried her to the bathroom with 10 seconds to spare, she threw up as he held her head over the bowl. When she could hold her head up on her own, he grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cold water, he put it on the back of her neck

“Fucking hell” she mumbled, then stopped as another wave hit her. She reached up to flush and slumped to the floor on her side. The cold tile felt good against her cheek. She heard rain, no, water running. As she was trying to figure out which, Sebastian picked her up, suddenly he placed her in the tub. The water was cold coming out of the shower head, it took her breath away for a few seconds. “too cold” she complained

“Too fucking bad” he snapped at her “you stay there until you sober up a little” She rolled her head towards him, he looked angry. She hugged her knees in close putting her head down on them. She could hear him moving around then it stopped. She expected him to be in the other room so she jumped at the sound of his voice so close “What the fuck happened to you?” 

“I got drunk” she said without lifting her head

“No shit. Why?” he waited “I knew something was wrong, I should have listened to my gut”

She slowly stood up, another wave of nausea hit her but she held it back. She pulled herself together. “look, I’m sorry. I just was tired and I couldn’t sleep so I thought drinking would help. That’s all. I’m sorry I drank way too much. Maybe I’m just a little nervous about Sunday” She quickly cleaned up and turned off the water then grabbed a towel 

“Ok, I’m gonna give you one more chance to tell me what is really going on before I get angry” he said it calmly but she could tell he was not calm. She went into full defense mode.

“Look, I don’t know what you want from me” she stomped into the bedroom looking for clothes to put on “I told you I was sorry, if you want to be mad go ahead” she found her bag and got dressed. “I’m telling you, I was tired, I couldn’t sleep, there’s nothing else to say” she angrily brushed her teeth then put on her shoes. “you don’t want to believe me, I don’t know what to tell you” she marched to the door and started to open it, he came up behind her and slammed it shut with one arm. 

“you done?” he said over her shoulder “If you think I’m gonna let you just walk out you’re kidding yourself” she turned around to face him “Impressive attacked-for-no-reason dialog though, doll” she didn’t move “Sit down” she sighed and did what he said. She felt it well up inside, she tried to keep it down but when she looked him in the eye she broke, dropping her head down into her lap. She felt him sit down next to her, sitting up she looked at him then told him everything that had happened in the past few days. 

“I’m tired of being this” she said gesturing to herself “I need to get through this, I need to get this out so that I can be free of it. I’m the only one that can.”

“Yes, but you can still lean on people, on me. I know I’m not the smartest guy but I can understand what you’re feeling. I’m not as cold and detached as you think. You can come to me when you’re sad or scared” he shrugged one shoulder “I want you to, actually” she was shocked he felt that way.

“Sebastian, no. That’s not true. I think you are very smart. Way smarter than I am, smarter than most people” she got up and knelt in front of him holding his hands “I couldn’t do this without you showing me that I can have someone like you. Somebody kind and loving and, and, and, safe.” He had his head down, he lifted it to look at her. “Nobody’s ever treated me like you do, it freaks me out sometimes to be honest, because I can deal with being treated like shit but you…” she stopped trying not to cry “… you told me I’m not a thing, I didn’t even know I thought that about myself. You make me feel special…” she pointed to the necklace he gave her “and you taught me…” she pointed to the tears coming down her cheeks “I love you” she whispered as she kissed the palm of his right hand then his left. “I’m scared Sebastian. Terrified truthfully”

“I know, I’m here, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, I promise” he patted his thigh and she climbed up into his lap putting her head on his shoulder

“I’m sorry you had to help me puke” he chuckled

“You should be. You could have at least saved me some vodka. I have been with Anthony for HOURS”

“I’m sorry he embarrassed you by dragging me over there. It all just happened so fast”

“He has embarrassed me a million times, but that was NOT one of them” he looked at her and started to laugh “I sent him to look for you” her mouth dropped open “what can I say? You looked so fucking good. The picture you posted and then when I walked by you, I just wanted to see you up close” he confessed laughing at her expression of shock “what? You’re beautiful and I missed you” he nudged her forehead with his until she kissed him

“He called me Bro-Bro. In front of all those cameras and shit” she was trying to act annoyed but she couldn’t stop laughing with him, his laugh was so cute. 

“Yeah, that’s gonna stick now” she winced “I mean, I…nope, I’m not even sorry”


	75. Mean Girls

When she had left this house weeks ago, it was home to her. She had been willing to stay in New York for him and come home to this house when she could. Now, standing just outside the door Brodie wanted to be back in SoHo at Sebastian’s place. “everything ok? You’re not going to throw up again, are you?” Sebastian asked behind her. She turned with her hands over her mouth pretending to heave. He shook his head “like this” he made a very convincing barfing simulation. 

“Wow, that was impressive!” he took a bow. “I was just thinking about how this used to feel like home, but now I want to be back in New York” He smiled in triumph

“Reeeaalllllly” he stepped closer to her “you want to live with me.” It was a statement

“I didn’t say that, I just like the city” she lifted her chin and turned towards the door

“You want to live with me, admit it!” he challenged jumping between Brodie and the door

“I don’t have to admit anything. You can’t prove a thing” she crossed her arms in front of her. “now move out of my way”

“Nope, not until you tell me you want to live with me” he crossed his arms too.

“I already told you yes” she stuck her tongue out at him

“you told me you wanted to move in, yes. I want you to admit you’re excited about it, maybe starting to feel at home there?” 

She huffed out a sharp breath, stomped her foot, put her hands on her hips and spit out “Fine! I admit it. I like being at your place! Now move!” 

“Our place, say ‘our place’” he waited narrowing his eyes at her

“Our place” she mocked him rolling her eyes. He laughed and lifted her up wrapping his arms around her middle and spinning her around “Ugh, I really am going to puke now” he stopped suddenly, dropped her down and jumped back. She laughed, picked up her bag and opened the door. “Nina, we’re here!” she called out.

“Oh good!” she came around the corner “Zip this for me please” she turned her back to them, Brodie pulled up the zipper on her dress “Olivia is on her way to pick me up. Does this look ok?”  
Brodie nodded. Nina threw her arms around her and kissed her hard on the cheek “thanks” she saw Sebastian “Big man.” She nodded

“Creeper” they hugged, she kissed him on the cheek. “you look good, are we planning on…” he wiggled his eyebrows. Nina just smiled “do we need to have the talk?”

Brodie said “NO” at same time Nina said “YES”

“Isn’t it a little late to be going out?” Sebastian teased her “it’s almost 10pm” 

“You’re her daddy NOT mine” Nina reminded him “Besides when I leave you have the place to yourselves”

“Oh yeah, ok then, have a good time stay out as long as you want see you later bye then” He said quickly as he opened the door. Nina just looked at him for a second and then punched him in the stomach

“Jesus Seb! I think I broke my hand!” she lifted the bottom of his shirt “Let me see…holy mother of god that’s…Brodie have you seen this?” Brodie smiled showing teeth, eyes wide, bouncing up and down nodding yes “Damn Seb, that is just, wow”

“Look at his arms! look at his arms!” Brodie gushed

“I am not a piece of meat” he said, dramatically pulling his shirt down “you can’t just display me like a statue in a museum!” The women laughed and started catcalling him

“hey baby!” “whooo bring that fine booty over here” “I don’t see no ring on that finger” “smile for me” “I’ll put a smile on that face” They were calling them out between whistling and kissing noises and other harassing sounds

“You fine sweetheart, where you goin’ in such a hurry” called Olivia from the still open door. The three stopped and looked at her surprised. “What? I may be gay but I can appreciate a good-looking man” Brodie laughed throwing her head back, she leaned over and high fived Olivia then motioned for her to bump chests 

“Secret group handshake” she explained motioning to the four of them

“Oooo, I like it, but we should add to it like…” she held up her hand to high five “…hit it 2 times” they slapped hands twice 

“then bump chests” Brodie added

“Yes, tit tap” Brodie burst out laughing again and they bumped tits “then the cheek kiss” they kissed cheeks

Nina looked at Sebastian smiling at the interaction, he winked at her. Brodie had deftly accepted Olivia into the inner group, giving Nina her blessing. When Brodie turned to her smiling Nina mouthed ‘thanks’ and Brodie blew her a kiss.

She went and put her arms around Sebastian as Olivia and Nina kissed hello. “Come on Sebby, did the mean girls make you feel bad?” she said in baby talk, he nodded his head and pretended to cry she started to lead him to the kitchen, he stopped suddenly

“wait” he turned dropped his jacket and put his arms up flexing his biceps then he turned back to Brodie putting his chin to his chest “they hurt my feelings, they made me show my muscles, I need a boo-boo kiss” 

“oh yeah? Where do you want it?” he looked up slowly with a wicked grin one eyebrow up and lunged towards her lifting her over his shoulder “You kids have fun now!” he called out as he carried her to the bedroom. 

When he put her down, she took his hands putting them on her hips. He slid his hands to her lower back inside the waistband of her shorts. Her body reacted by thrusting her hips against him arching her back, he buried his face between her breasts. “take your shirt off baby” he didn’t want to move his hands. She pulled her shirt and bra off together over her head. He rubbed her lower back; she bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes savoring the feeling of his hands on her. She lifted her chin as he bent his head down again to kiss her neck right above the orchid charm.

“They wanted me to take it off this morning. The necklace.” she clarified. He had slid his hands to her lower stomach and started to unbutton her shorts “I told them I haven’t taken it off since you put it on me” he bit the right side of her neck as he took off her shorts and slid his hands to her back again “never?” he asked against her lower jaw “Never” he was chewing on her ear lobe as she kicked off her shoes and the shorts that had fallen to her ankles

“hey, start stripping I’m feeling a little under dressed” she teased him. He let go of her and undressed faster than anyone she had ever seen, then went right back to what he was doing. She was giggling over it “Oh my god, how long have you practiced that?”

“You need to change quickly when you do a play” he said turning her around and pulling her back against him “but I have extra motivation right now” he put his right hand between her legs, his pointer and middle fingers slipped inside her. His left hand grabbed her chin tipping her head back he bit down on the nape of her neck. She reached back and grabbed hips pulling him closer against her. He started whispering in her ear “I love you baby. You feel so good around my fingers. I missed you so much. Can you feel me against your back? I wanna be inside you.” He felt her tighten around his fingers “yes baby, say my name” She called out “Sebastian” as she came. 

She was laying on her side Sebastian wrapped around her, arms around her middle his leg over her hip ankle between her knees. He was asleep, she was wide awake. She carefully tried to wiggle free without waking him but he was too intertwined with her “Where you goin’?” he asked in a sleepy voice. “Piano” she didn’t even realize that’s where she was headed until she said it. “you ok?” she smiled at how sweet his voice sounded. “Yeah, I’m good” she rummaged through her dresser finding an old t-shirt and pajama bottoms. As she grabbed her phone from the nightstand, Sebastian opened his eyes “No vodka. I mean it doll, you scared me” she kissed his forehead and crossed her heart.

Sebastian woke up and reached over, empty. He opened his eyes and realized the sun was coming up. She had to be up for several hours, he thought, then the image of her passed out, a grey tint to her skin, empty bottle of vodka below her out stretched hand, flashed in his mind. He sat up “Brodie?” he listened for her reply, he heard a faint sound of piano. He got up and walked to the writing room. The door was closed he could hear her working out a song behind it. He started to turn back but stopped, his gut was calling to him again. He quietly opened the door. 

She sensed him enter the room and stopped playing. “what time is it?” she had totally lost track.

“Uh, almost 6. Have you been up all night?” she shrugged “what’s up, doll?”

“I wrote a song and then I wrote another one” she smiled weakly “I kind of lose track of time” she held up her notebook “Look actual notes” he looked closely

“Nice! My mom will be very proud” he gestured if he could sit next to her. She scooted over to give him room. “can I try it?” she put the notebook up for him to read then hummed the melody for him. He started to play it. 

“Stop at that part” she pointed “like it will go” she played it and sang:

“Do you really” pause  
“really want” pause  
“Wanna fuck with me” she played 3 beats paused  
“Have you seen” pause  
“seen the ones who tried” pause  
“Tried to fuck with me” 3 beats

She looked at him in question. He grabbed her pen “so you want to put a rest in there” he pointed with the pen. 

“how?” she shook her head yes when he gestured for permission to write it. “humph” she looked at it. “Ok, so then I put those when I want a pause?”

“Yeah, a ‘rest’, but yeah.” She thought about it, furrowing her eyebrows together, biting her bottom lip

“Ok, got it. I’ll play it, you look at it, see if there is anything else” he nodded “Just go ahead and write in it, it’s ok” She played it singing along:

“I see them marching towards me now.  
Their guns drawn, safety’s off.  
I see them marching towards me now.  
Their guns drawn, safety’s off.” Pause. He made a mark.

“Do they really” Pause  
“really want” Pause  
“wanna fuck with me” 3 beats, pause.

“They keep on marching towards me now.  
Guns drawn, me in the crosshairs.  
They think I’m gonna surrender (surrender).  
They think I’m gonna surrender (surrender).  
They think I’m gonna.” Pause

“Do you really” pause  
“really want” pause  
“Wanna fuck with me” 3 beats, pause  
“Have you seen” pause  
“seen the ones who tried” pause  
“Tried to fuck with me” 3 beats, pause

“I don’t think you understand that he is at my side.  
I don’t think you realize I no longer want to hide.  
Go ahead” Pause  
“Try it” pause  
“Try to fuck with me” 3 beats pause  
“I guarantee” Pause  
“You’ll be the one to lose” Pause  
“If you fuck with me” stop

She looked at him expectantly. He smiled and chuckled “what’s that about?” She laughed. He handed her the book. She looked it over carefully taking in his marks. 

“so, how does it feel?” she asked him

“How does what feel?” he was confused

“To co-write your first song?” he shook his head no “yes. See these marks right here in your handwriting? You get songwriter credit” he tried to protest “don’t fuck with the publishing lawyers, they are very particular” she smiled

“Oh, so this song is a jingle for their new commercial. I see. It’s good Brodie. It’s really good”

She smiled and blushed “thanks” she hugged him tight

“Brodie?” he said in a weird voice “Have you been moving around your books?”

“What? No. What books?” she pulled away from him and followed his gaze to the wall of notebooks. 

“Don’t move” he got up and ran out of the room, she stayed perfectly still as her stomach dropped. He came back in with his phone looking for something on it. “ok look” he played the video of her at the piano playing the first song she had written for him “look at the shelf” he paused it. She looked from the video to the wall.

“Fuck me!” she spit out “Fucking asshole! He could never put anything back the way he found it” She got up and walked towards the wall

“Don’t touch anything, Brodie. Let’s figure out what was moved and if anything is missing first”

“How the fuck did you even notice that?” 

“I watch this a lot, when I’m not with you.” He confessed “it makes me feel close to you” her hand automatically went to the orchid “it always makes me smile at how organized and perfectly in line you have them, had them” her heart melted at how insanely sweet he was. 

They spent the next hour carefully checking what was moved. Nothing seemed to be missing that Brodie could think of or that the video revealed. She wondered how many times he had been there when she was gone. How many things had he gone through, took, or sold? She felt stupid, violated, angry, used. She felt like that girl in the basement again. Sebastian put his arm around her “Hey, let’s get dressed and go out for coffee. What time do we have to meet with the Oprah people?” 

“10:30 I think, Terri and Olivia, and your people should be here at 10”

“We have about 3 hours, let’s get some fresh air” she agreed, they went to get in the shower and get dressed. Halfway through washing her hair Brodie remembered something 

“Shit! I need to check the back room. The safe is in there.” She rinsed off quickly, “I’ll be right back.” she grabbed a towel dried off quickly and threw on Sebastian’s t-shirt and some underwear. She went to the backroom and looked around. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, but she didn’t notice the notebooks so she couldn’t be sure. She went to the walk-in closet where the safe was mounted in the wall and opened it. 

Nina took an Uber back to Brodie’s, she wanted to have time to get cleaned up before the Oprah people meeting. Olivia offered to go with her but Nina knew she needed to work and that she was a distraction. They had had an amazing night, she was floating when she walked in the door. “Hey B! Seb! I’m back!” she heard Brodie call out “In the bedroom” so she went to Brodie’s room and walked in

“OH FUCK! OH NO!” Nina froze, across the room a very naked Sebastian froze too. They stared at each other for a second Sebastian lifted his eyebrows and Nina closed her eyes tight, then covered them with her hands “Oh god, I’m so sorry…I…” for once, she didn’t know what to say. Sebastian sighed putting on the boxers he was holding. He looked for his shirt but didn’t see it, he found his pants and put them on. Nina was still standing in the doorway, face covered, she was now trying hard not to laugh. 

“Ok. You can look now” he said sighing, anticipating her making a comment. She just uncovered her face, winced and mouthed ‘sorry’ to him. She backed out of the door, yelling “BRODIE!” who yelled “I said I’m in the BACK ROOM!” 

“Ok. I swear to god it was an accident” Nina said bursting into the back room “Please don’t be mad” Sebastian walked in behind her “Brodie I love you so much. You know I would never break your trust”

Brodie was sitting on the floor with a pile of papers from the safe, she looked at Sebastian “What is she yelling about?” He looked at her. Oh, there’s my shirt, he thought.

“I thought you said ‘BED room’” Nina winced. Brodie looked from Nina to a shirtless Sebastian who was rubbing his eyes with his fingers

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Brodie said almost calmly

“I’m so sorry” Nina said. They looked at each other, Nina mouthed ‘it’s fucking HUGE” Brodie tried desperately not to smile but she failed. They both burst out laughing. 

Sebastian looked at them both “you know, I’m glad we’re all ok with it but the laughing is too much!” he said insulted which made them laugh even harder “I am not telling my teenaged self this part when I go back in time.” Brodie fell over from laughter “Give me my shirt back!”


	76. Collateral Damage

“Hey! Where are my munchkins?” Brodie called as she opened the door “I brought your favorite Avenger!” Two screaming kids came barreling at her. She held out her arms catching them as they jumped on her “BRODIE! BRODIE! BRODIE!” they chanted as she hugged them covering them with kisses. 

“Look I brought Sebastian” she pointed to him and they jumped on him almost knocking him over becaue he wasn’t prepared. She laughed at his surprised face. “Also…” Nina jumped in the doorway “NINA!” they cheered.

Susan came over wincing from the yelling “Ok, that’s enough. Let them in the door!” then she looked at Brodie “Why must you whip them up every time?” 

“Because Robert HATES it!” she kissed Susan on the cheek “Sorry, you’re collateral damage” The two kids had stopped, staring at Olivia.

“This is my girlfriend, Olivia” Nina told them. They looked at her wide eyed trying to decide if she was fun or not. Olivia held her hand out for Exton to shake, he took it and she shook his arm until his whole body was wiggling, he giggled. Then she took Avri’s hand but instead of shaking it she spun her around and bowed to her. Avri was in love. 

“I like your Olivia, are, are, are, are you, are you going to marry her?” she asked Nina. Nina shrugged at her “I would, I would marry her, cuz she’s pretty” Nina agreed. “and you’re pretty” she spun around “and you can have pretty babies” Nina laughed

“Ugh! Not again!” Exton said exasperated and ran off to play

“she has been obsessed with weddings lately. Her teacher is getting married so all the kids in the class are now.” Susan explained “She even asked her dad if he was going to marry me”

Avri grabbed Sebastian’s hand and pulled it so he would bend down “Sebasben, are you, are you, going to marry Brodie?” She whispered. 

“Yes” he whispered back “but I haven’t asked her yet so not for a little while.” Brodie felt the blood drain from her face 

“Bebasten, when you do, are you going to wear this arm or, or your metal arm?” she whispered again. 

He looked up thinking about it “This one because the ring won’t fit on the metal one” he whispered back. 

“do you want me to ask her?” she whispered looking over at Brodie

“I think I better do it, but first, Brodie is going to come live in New York with me.” 

Avri jumped up and down “we gots a new house in New York! An, and we are gonna live there too” 

“Avri!” she stopped jumping as her dad came in the room “Didn’t I tell you that I wanted to tell Brodie?” Robert whispered 

“But, but daddy I dinnot tell Brodie. I toll Bevaston.” She pointed to him

“Avri, you know how mommy and daddy don’t keep secrets from each other? Sebastian and Brodie don’t keep secrets from each other either.” Avri thought about it

“Bes, Bebas” she struggled to say his name. He smiled at her “you can call me Seb, ok?” she sighed “Um, Seb don’t tell Brodie about the new house, cuz Daddy wants to and it’s ok to keep a secret if is it’s a surprise” he nodded and winked at her putting his finger to his lips, then he held out his pinkie for a pinkie swear. She wrapped her pinkie around his, then she kissed his cheek. He blushed. She ran off to play video games with Exton.

Robert laughed “Hey Seb, good to see you” they shook hands and hugged “Nina” he hugged her and kissed her hand looking to Olivia

“This is Olivia, Olivia this is Susan and Robert” Nina introduced them.

He turned his attention to Brodie finally “Hello darling, did you come for more inspiration?” he clearly saw the interview from yesterday. She cocked her head to one side

“Can’t live without me, so you have to move your whole family to be close to me?”

“Actually, that was the only ‘con’ on the pros/cons list”

“Olivia made me say nice things about you” she pointed to her. Olivia widened her eyes

“Ignore them” Susan told Olivia “come in the kitchen while they act like children refusing to admit they really love each other” Nina and Olivia followed Susan, Sebastian stayed.

“What’s her problem?” Robert said “This Susan is getting cranky”

“I don’t know.” Brodie shrugged “I like this one, it’s so hard to train a new one” They looked at Sebastian, he gave them the finger.

“You ready for Oprah tomorrow?” she shook her head no “Did you find anything missing?” She had texted him about Duncan getting into her stuff

“Just money from the safe, not a lot” she down played it. “Tell me about moving to New York”

“The windmill house, we’re going to stay permanently” It was a house he had in the Hamptons, he looked at Sebastian “How much?”

“Few thousand” he said “she doesn’t want to call the cops. I tried.” He threw his hands up

“not surprising, she never does. She’s so hard headed she doesn’t need a helmet”

“You know, I am right here” she said frustrated “he took money, big deal. I’m fortunate to have plenty. He didn’t take the important papers, he didn’t get the pictures, the diaries, and he has no idea what’s about to hit him.”

“I asked you first, you acted like he took 20 bucks and the fact that you have plenty is not the point” Robert looked at her seriously “you need to stop protecting him and letting him…” he saw the look in her eye and backed off “after the whole Oprah thing we’ll figure it out, ok?” he looked to Sebastian “ok?” they agreed.

They had a great meal, good food, lots of laughter. Exton was sitting next to Sebastian, he put his elbow down and flipped the butter knife off the table. It went up and over his arm, Sebastian caught it and flipped it around to his other hand. Brodie and the kids stared at him mouths open. 

“Did you, did you just do the knife thing from, from the movie?” Brodie stammered. Sebastian nonchalantly pushed his chair back and did it again. “maybe” he said casually. Susan looked at him with a mom look that said ‘stop it’. He put the knife down quickly and shrunk down a little. Brodie leaned over and whispered “oh you’re gonna show me that later” he nodded yes.

As they were saying their goodbyes, Robert pulled Brodie aside and grabbed her hand. “You ok?” she nodded “1-10?” this was a code they had for when one of them was struggling mentally. She looked down “yesterday, 10” she whispered “But I’m good right now with everyone here” he hugged her “You need to tell us; me, Sebastian, Nina, somebody” she nodded “I will” he kissed her forehead “I love you darling”

Back at Brodie’s house, the reality of the interview being the next day was hitting Brodie hard. She sat quietly as the other three were talking and laughing. She slipped out to the backyard to take a breather. She stood on the edge of the patio, looking out towards the coast. She could hear the waves angrily crashing against the rocks below. I could just walk right out over that edge, she thought, I could just disappear, no one would really miss me, I wish I could just disappear. The sound of the other’s laughter hit her ear like a foreign language. I am definitely at that place again, tell somebody, tell Sebastian. No, she argued with herself, I could make everyone have to focus on me, again or finally just…what? So tired of being the fuck up. She sighed heavy 

“you ok baby?” Sebastian said gently. She didn’t answer, she just stood still staring ahead. He walked up to her and took her hand. If he would have pushed, tried to make her talk or approached her in a different way she wouldn’t have, but she took a deep breath and looked him square in the eye. “I’m at 10, a few years ago, I got really, depressed, and I, got really, destructive” she was stammering but it was the only way she could do it “I wanted” she exhaled “I just wanted to, I wanted it to…”

“stop. You just wanted it to stop” he finished for her

“yes. It wasn’t the first time, or the last time” she closed her eyes, then opened them looking into his again “Robert and I, we made a shorthand from 1-10. One is everything is good, 5 is hitting a slide, 10 is wanting to” she drew her finger across her neck, motioning dying.

“So yesterday? The vodka?” she nodded and waited for him to be mad, or disappointed, or disgusted. “I knew it.” He wrapped his arms around her and put his chin on her head “it’s ok baby, I know how you feel, I really do” she shook her head no, he couldn’t possibly she thought. “Brodie, I used to drink a lot. A lot, all the time. I would take all these stupid risks and everyone said I had a death wish. I did, I mean if you asked me then I would have laughed and said no, but looking back” he licked his bottom lip “I just wanted it to stop” She looked up at him “right before I met you, I was feeling it again.” She had a memory of Anthony telling her him and Chris were worried about him “Remember I told you how I was with my ex for like two years and we broke up in early 2018. I hadn’t been with anyone in over a year, not seriously. I thought I’d just be that way for a long time, alone, lonely. I never thought I would find someone who could put up with my shit for any length of time.” He looked at her with a small smile “I never thought I would find you” she started to cry because she felt it, it was what she had felt too. “Baby, this thing tomorrow, maybe it’s not worth what you’re putting yourself through, we can just tell Emily you can’t do it”

“I have to. Not for Emily or even Oprah, I have to for me and the girl I was and us, too. I told you, I’m tired of being this. I want to be with you, more than anything I’ve ever wanted, ever. Like, be me with you, without this bullshit constantly interfering with our life.”

“you said our ‘life’” he smiled “like long time ours?”

“yes, OUR life long term. This bullshit, I need to put it out into the world because it controls me, because it’s this giant secret that anyone can hold over me. Yes, it’s painful, it makes me want to disappear. I can’t stop the images, I can’t sleep because I’m back there, terrified, in physical pain, helpless. I can’t fall back on the things that I use to numb it. The only way I can get out, is to go through it.”

“Ok, ok, then we go through it. We. Because I want to be with you, too. I can’t lose you, I can’t.” he held on to her like his life depended on it “When was the last time you slept?”

She thought hard “yesterday, at the hotel?” 

“That’s not sleep, that was a coma. I know from personal experience. Before that?”

“when your mom came over” He counted back “I mean little naps here and there but no longer than an hour or so”

“Jesus Brodie that’s almost a week. You need to sleep so you can be ready for tomorrow” she shook her head no “yes, you are going to sleep. I am going to be there with you, I won’t let anything hurt you, I promise” 

“you’ll hold me all night?” he nodded “you won’t let go?” she held back a sob

“I promise, I won’t let go” she let him take her inside “go get ready for bed doll” 

Sebastian gave her a gentle push, when she was gone he explained to Nina and Olivia how she was afraid to sleep and why. Nina went into the bedroom and pulled out Brodie’s favorite pajama bottoms from her dresser. She made Sebastian give her the t-shirt he was wearing and gave them to Brodie to put on. When she came out of the bathroom, Sebastian, Nina and Olivia were on her bed in pajamas. Sebastian patted the space between him and Nina. “come on doll” she climbed up, Sebastian held her to his side her head on his chest. Nina snuggled her back against Brodie’s back and Olivia with her arms around Nina placed her hand on Brodie’s shoulder. Sebastian kissed the top of her head “we’re not gonna let anyone hurt you baby” For the first time in over a week she slept without fear, with the constant beating of the love of her life’s heart in her ear, the warmth of her companion in the world at her back, and the support of a beautiful new friend on her shoulder.

When the alarm went off Brodie called out “One day I’m gonna fucking smash you with a hammer” at the same time Sebastian said “You cannot be fucking serious, the sun’s not even up”. Nina familiar with the ritual then yelled “fuck you, you fucking piece of shit” Brodie got up and turned it off.

“Oh, the alarm.” Olivia said “I thought maybe you all lost your minds” Nina kissed her on the cheek “I want to yell at it. Shut the fuck up you motherfucking asshole”

“good one!” Nina said rolling over on top of her “you’re so hot when you say bad words” she held her face and kissed her. 

Brodie snuggled up to Sebastian “you get some sleep baby doll?” he buried his nose in her hair and kissed the top of her head.

“yes. I did daddy” she rolled on her back “thank you. All of you. I know you always have to fucking rescue me from some stupid fucking thing and I’m so, so, sorry for that. But thank you for not giving up on me, even when I give up on myself.” 

“Dude!” Nina sat up “you never give up on me either. I love you. I will rescue your ass, Every. Fucking. Time.” Brodie smiled “look at him” Nina pointed to Sebastian “that man won’t even let you get to the point of needing a rescue. You’re stuck with us, we got you” Nina leaned down and kissed her on the mouth “now get your ass up, it’s Oprah day” she smacked her cheek.

Brodie was frantically pacing waiting for Terri, Emily and the car that would take her to Oprah’s house. Oprah’s house. What the fuck is my life right now? She stopped at the table and picked up her coffee mug, she scowled at it being empty. She went to make more.

“uh, maybe you shouldn’t…” Olivia started, both Nina and Sebastian shushed her. 

“She bites” Nina said and showed her the scar on her right forearm close to her elbow “she cut me when I broke her mug once”

“Are you telling that story AGAIN?” Brodie rolled her eyes sitting at the table “I didn’t do it on purpose” she turned to Olivia “I didn’t do it on purpose, I was picking up the pieces and she went to get a towel and I stood and turned around and we ran into each other.”

“she was angrily picking up the pieces and she whipped around and stabbed me” Nina countered. Brodie shook her head.

“whatever. Speaking of stabbing, you need to show me those knife skills, daddy. I need to see them!” Sebastian smiled excitedly, he loved showing them off

“I need a knife, or something like it” Brodie pointed to the living room shelves where she had all her toys and knickknacks. He walked over to find something.

“you did too do it on purpose” Nina started again 

“Awwww, Lil Bucky! I missed you buddy!” Sebastian was looking down with his back to them.

“Is he talking to his thing?” Olivia whispered to Nina. She shook her head and threw up her hands

“Uh, big man?” Nina said “I can personally attest to the fact that it’s not little now, but the fact that you named it ‘Bucky’ is kinda weird, not gonna lie”

“He’s talking to my action figure of Bucky Barnes, not his dick” Brodie said “Can you please stop obsessing over his dick now? You’ve seen it, it’s over”

“No, now I can make informed comments and jokes. It’s like a whole new wealth of material!” Nina argued. 

Brodie rolled her eyes “can you at least stop trying to see it?” 

Nina agreed “It is definitely an image burned in my brain” they sat quietly for a minute

“Damn it!” Olivia said “now I’m kinda curious” Brodie smacked her hand against her forehead as Nina laughed.


	77. Like A Cult Leader

How many people does it take to get one person ready to talk to Oprah? Brodie had lost count. She stood up from the hair and make-up chair and took a deep breath before she turned to look at herself in the mirror. She was wearing another 40’s look with a rockabilly twist, dark navy sailor shorts that hit mid-thigh, white sailor style blouse with navy details that really showed off the girls but was still appropriate and navy and white oxford heels, she felt like a pin-up girl. Many of her tattoos were visible, her arm however was fully covered. The hair people, there were more than one, gave her a rockabilly hairstyle with a navy tied headband. Her make-up, another team effort, was all cat eyes and red lipstick. She turned to Terri, putting her hands on her hips and kicking one foot back. Terri clapped her hands in approval.

She stepped out of the room, the stylist Lily looked her over. “Maybe we should go with the pants” Brodie looked down and frowned. They had picked shorts because it was going to be outside.

“Don’t change a thing!” it was Oprah. She was dressed in a flowy bright yellow outfit that made her look like she was floating, that might be just my imagination, Brodie thought, but she looked very Oprah like. She came towards Brodie opened her hands and placed them on either side of her face gently. “you look fabulous” Brodie wanted to cry, no scream, no kneel, wait, no, pass out, instead she smiled in awe. “I am so happy to meet you Brodie Lee.” Oprah grabbed her hand and squeezed it patting the top of it with her other hand. 

“I am very honored to meet you Ms. Winfrey.” She said it but her it was like she heard her voice from outside her body.

“Girl, call me Oprah please” she chuckled. Brodie smiled shyly. “Are you ready?” Brodie shrugged

“As ready as I’ll ever be I guess” Oprah smiled understanding

“Like I told you, be yourself, tell your story, you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to answer. I am here to help you, not ambush you. You look good then I look good.” Brodie nodded “Ok I will see you out there.”

Brodie looked for Sebastian, she found him and Nina sitting outside. “Guess what?” she gushed. They both looked at her mouths open. “Guess!” Sebastian said “what?” still staring. “I just met Oprah!” she did a little dance. They just sat there not reacting. “Hello? You guys! I just met Oprah” Sebastian stood up taking a step towards her, she cocked her head to one side “What is wrong?”

“Nothing” he said quietly “you’re just…”

“Fucking hot!” Nina finished “That look totally suits you! Hubba-hubba!”

“I was going to say ‘absolutely beautiful’” he took her hand and kissed it. “you’re always absolutely beautiful, doll. This just highlights it” she blushed.

“Brodie, it’s time” Terri said from behind her

Olivia appeared with Emily “You are going to do great” she said

Brodie looked into Sebastian’s eyes and took a deep breath. “here we go” she said he held both of her hands in his.

“I’m right here.” He squeezed her hands

“I’m right here, too” Nina got up and took one of her hands from Sebastian. Terri and Olivia each put a hand on Brodie’s shoulders.

“You go out there and stand up for all those kids who can’t” Emily told her

“Thanks. Let’s fucking get this over with” she walked over to where the interview would take place, it was a beautiful spot on Oprah’s estate. Two wide wicker chairs with lime green cushions faced each other. There was a small table between them, this is where they told Brodie they would have a glass of water for her if she got thirsty and also tissues if she cried. Emily and Olivia were on either side of her. Sebastian and Nina were behind the crew, she could see them from her seat, and Terri was next to one of the producers, right behind Oprah’s shoulder, ready to help with anything Brodie needed. She smiled at Oprah as they checked her mic before she sat down. Emily squeezed her shoulder and Olivia gave her a quick wink as she sat down to begin the most terrifying thing of her adult life. 

Oprah gave a quick introduction, asked a few basic questions, then said:

“you have kept a part of your life very secret, not just from the public, but even from close friends, correct?” Brodie bit her bottom lip and nodded, whoop don’t smear the lipstick, she thought

“Uh, yes. That’s true” Brodie made herself sit up straight. Her right leg crossed over her left at the knee, arms on the arm rests. 

“why are you talking about it now?”

“Well, honestly two reasons. One is that I have no choice I have to either tell it myself or it is going to be told for me”

“And the second reason?”

“Because I am finally at a place that I can tell it, that I can say it out loud” she glanced at Sebastian, he gave her a small smile.

“I know this is a hard subject to talk about. I know that finding the first sentence can be difficult so I’m not trying to speak for you, I’m just trying to get you over the first hurdle” Brodie nodded her agreement. “So, the secret you’ve been holding on to is that you were sexually abused, from what ages?”

“Uh, 5 or 6 until I left at 16” she kept eye contact with Oprah so she wouldn’t shrink down. It was something Olivia had told her to do.

“And you were, physically, mentally and sexually abused, correct?”

“Yes.” Don’t embellish, they had told her, let Oprah guide it

“This was by your mother and stepfather?”

“uh, yeah physically and mentally by my mother. Definitely all three by my stepfather”

“he was what they would call a child sex trafficker today, right?”

“Yes, I guess that’s the right term. Although I can’t tell you if there were other victims besides myself. I think the title ‘pimp’ would fit”

“So, he would sort of what, bring other abusers to you or you to them?”

“yeah, mostly they would come to the house. Especially when I was younger”

“did your mother know what was going on?”

“Oh yeah, she knew and my younger brother knew. Impossible to be in that house and not know”

“Did you ever tell anyone outside the family? A teacher or a friend?”

“Not a teacher, I did tell a neighbor who used to be very kind to me. She would give me food and stuff”

“Did she do anything with that?’

“Yeah, she reported it, but um nothing came from it. I mean you have to remember this was the late 70’s early 80’s this kind of thing wasn’t prosecuted or handled the way it is now. Even now there is still a long way to go” 

Oprah did a great job of guiding her through telling the story without unnecessary detail. They went over Brodie’s time on the streets after she got to New York. Brodie had decided to not mention David’s role. When it came time to talk about joining the band, she told the standard story of meeting him, falling in love, etc, etc. Then Oprah asked her about the rehab homes she had started for street kids. Brodie had no idea how she got that information, and she glanced at Sebastian and Nina who were both stunned. 

“I just pay for them I don’t do any of the hard work. I support them financially that’s all.” She waved it off

“But you started these homes because…?” Oprah pushed

“I would come across all these kids, like me, when we were touring or whatever and I would talk with them, give them money and stuff, but all that did was give them a small relief, you know? These are kids who have been let down again and again by everyone. I wanted to give them a place, a home.”

“you don’t ask for anything from them, no money or insurance, just one request, right?” Brodie nodded, damn her people were good, they were like the FBI or some shit she thought.

“That they help 2” she held up 2 fingers then made the sign for “help” by putting her right palm out and placing the left hand in an "A" in it, then raised both hands up in front of her.

“Two others?” Brodie nodded “why 2?”

“One for themselves and one for me” Oprah placed her palm to her chest and closed her eyes

“oh, I love it. I. love. It. One for themselves and one for you. Love, love, love it!” she held both arms out “I love it” she did it in that singsong way Oprah does. Brodie caught Nina’s gaze and tried not to laugh because they both thought it was funny when she did it. “do you ever get to meet with them after they have gotten on their feet, have you crossed paths with any of them?”

“Uh, you know, a few here and there. So many of them have gone on to just lead good solid lives, with families and jobs. Some go back and volunteer which is amazing. But you know, they pop up in my life when I least expect it” she looked pointedly at Terri for a second

“You said earlier you were being forced to tell your story, you want to talk about that?”

“Basically, I found out that my brother Duncan had signed a deal with the bands longtime manager for a tell all book about my past. They had tried to get numerous people around me to deliver personal photographs and other items to enhance the book for them.”

“why do you think your brother would want to do that?”

“Money. He’s always relied on me to financially support him. Anytime I tried to get him to stand on his own he’s used the baby brother guilt card on me. I made a promise to my Nona that I would take care of him so that’s a big part of it as well.”

“Did he threaten you with exposing the family secret?”

“No, he never said those words. He was more of an opportunist. Not too long ago I had an issue with someone who I had a sexual encounter with who tried to use that to get money. Robert dug into the person’s personal information and found that they were tied to Duncan.”

“You’re talking about Robert Downey Jr?” Brodie nodded “That wasn’t the point where you broke ties with him though?”

“Unfortunately, no. I didn’t want to believe it. He was, uh, I have had a difficult time letting go of people I feel a loyalty to even if they don’t reciprocate it.”

“because you have that need to be loved. But you don’t know what love feels like so you end up settling for, this doesn’t hurt as much so it must be love”

“Yes!” Oprah held up her hands for a high ten and laced her fingers together with Brodie’s holding their arms up between them. “I was so, just drowning in this manipulation. Duncan knew what to say, how to say it, and when, to keep me at that desperate ache for love.” 

“Desperate ache for love” Oprah repeated “I love that. Because it is a desperate physical ache for a connection to another person. For validation of you as a human being”

“Right, and that noise of the self-doubt, self-hatred, and the guilt, for me, drowned out the voices of the ones that really did care about me. Luckily, they stuck around until I finally got my sh-stuff together.” Don’t swear in front of Oprah for fucks sake

“So, this is why you said you are able to talk about it now?”

“Yes, because I was lucky enough to find someone who showed me or treated me…” she was struggling to explain it “I met somebody who doesn’t see the scars as damage” she sighed frustrated that she wasn’t saying it clearly

“he sees it as part of your design. Not what happened TO you, but what you made of it.”

“Yes. Exactly. But it was because of the ones who stuck by me, who little by little chipped away at that wall that I was able to even dare to give him a chance.”

“Sooooo, I’m not going to make you tell me who we are talking about unless you want to say his name” Oprah raised her eyebrows waiting. Brodie looked at Sebastian he smiled at her and nodded yes

“His name is Sebastian” she said in a nonchalant tone “He’s an actor” she rolled her eyes and took a sip of water, then pretended to brush something off her knee casually “he’s amazing”

Oprah laughed “Sebastian Stan, right?”

“Yes” Brodie gave a genuine smile.

“And is this love? Is he maybe the one?” Oprah asked smiling “because I gotta say your face just lit up”

“Uh, yes. Frankly. It is love. He is the one for sure. I’m not going to jump up on your nice patio furniture and scream it, but yes I am very much in love with him.” Oprah laughed

“I thank you for that. This wicker is not made for jumping on” This time Brodie laughed. 

When they were done, they both stood up. Oprah held out her arms saying “Brodie Lee, Brodie Lee, Brodie Lee” as she embraced her “Oh. You did great!” They posed for a picture together. Then Oprah kissed her on the cheek and turned her attention to Sebastian who was going to do a brief interview with her they would ‘edit into the final piece’ as they termed it. Emily and his publicist Evelyn came over.

“Wait” he said as they tried to usher him over to get his mic on. He made his way to Brodie gave her a huge hug and kissed her. She smiled and wiped her lipstick off his mouth with her thumb. “love you, doll” he winked and ran off.

She walked over to Terri and Nina who both hugged her and told her how proud of her they were. Terri said she was going to buy her the biggest coffee in the world and Nina said she would let her have 1 cigarette. Brodie laughed. Nina was called to go do a short interview of her own with a producer, she kissed Brodie quickly saying “Love you, B” and walked away. Terri sighed “How long have you known?”

“I didn’t until I saw you mouthing the ‘help 2’ and making the sign out of the corner of my eye” she put her arm around Terri’s shoulders. “it made me feel like a cult leader for a second” Brodie joked “you could have told me”

“I wanted you to trust me for me” she smiled at her “I wanted to know I got this position because I worked for it” Brodie beamed with pride at that answer

“are you the one who told the Oprah people?” Terri shook her head no vigorously, then threw her hands up. “She’s like a super spy or some shit” Brodie whispered

“She’s Oprah” Terri whispered “she knows everything”


	78. Very Real, Very Quickly

Sebastian walked towards her. She was shaking the hand of one of the producers smiling politely, nodding her head to what ever the woman was saying to her. She laughed looking up at the sky, he could hear it as he approached. The sound made his whole-body ache to be closer to her, he quickened his pace. There was a flash of envy that he wasn’t the one that made her laugh, but it passed quickly. He slid up next to her putting his hand on her lower back, she turned her smile to him and it changed from polite to genuine. The producer walked away as Brodie put her arms around Sebastian’s middle, she looked up at him squinting from the sun. He bent his head down and kissed her. 

“I love you, so much. Doll. You were so perfect, so real. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about the homes you have for street kids.” She shrugged “what else are you hiding from me?” he said it smiling narrowing his eyes “Are you actually in the illuminati? Do you have a secret second identity? Wait, are you Santa Claus? Damn it, do you own Disney?” she was laughing harder with each question. He put his forehead down on hers. “What am I gonna have to do to get you to confess? Huh?” she kissed him

“I don’t know. You can try.” She shrugged “I think you might have to experiment with different techniques” she wiggled her eyebrows at him. He pulled her in and kissed her neck, she giggled. 

He held her tight happy that he had made her laugh. “I am so happy that you’re mine, doll” 

“Yes I am. All yours” she sighed “It’s just a few days before this goes public.” She said into his chest “The producer said they will have a promo on by tomorrow but they are going for the ‘mystery guest’ angle” he laughed at the way she said it like it was spooky.

“How are you feeling?” he asked seriously “you doing ok?”

“Weirdly, I feel ok. It sucks that I can’t just tell every person I come across that I met Oprah, but, I’m ok.” 

He chuckled “You can keep a secret like a fucking vault. You’ll be fine” She pulled back to look him in the face

“Sebastian. I don’t lie to you. I might not have told you every detail of my life, yet, but I never lie to you.” She stressed the word ‘yet’ so he knew she intended to tell him at some point.

“I know that, Brodie. I do. Besides you don’t know all my secrets yet either” he kissed the tip of her nose

“OOohhhh, intrigue. Spy vs spy.” She grabbed his shirt with both fists and shook him “Mission Impossible!”

“Calm down there, 007” he laughed. He had missed this Brodie for the last few days.

“Ooo, you be 007, I’ll be the Bond girl” she winked

“You certainly look like one right now” he stepped back to look at her and whistled. She turned to the side and put her hands on her knees and stuck out her bottom.

“I feel like a pin-up girl” she laughed “you think 40’s Bucky would have put my picture in his helmet?”

“I have no doubt he would, but then I’d have to fight him.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her in close again “you’re mine”

Brodie had to get back on the road, the next night they played Miami and they were now making their way to Atlanta. Sebastian was back in Europe somewhere. She had his schedule, she could look it up, but it was just depressing to figure out how far apart they were. She wanted to just be with him alone, like the day they had spent in her bed watching movies and getting to know each other. Two more weeks of the road. It seemed like a lifetime. She was ok right now with no idea how it would be tomorrow. Nina was feeling the same missing Olivia. They sat cuddled up, together in their misery, watching the road go by. 

“B, when this tour ends, I want to be in New York. I know I said I wanted to be in California and stay at your house, I changed my mind.” She said it apologetically

“Oh. Was that in question at all? I just assumed you would want to. You’re going to stay at my apartment, aren’t you?” Nina kissed her cheek “what? Besides I think Sebastian has gotten pretty attached to you. He would be all worried about you in California alone.” 

“I love him too.” She started to laugh “I still can’t stop seeing his face when I walked in on him. Jesus. You know, I was mostly kidding about wanting to see it, but when it happened I was so shocked I just stood there” Brodie shook her head “poor guy, I felt bad”

“yeah, me too. You’re never gonna let him hear the end of that” Brodie laughed “It’s funny because he’s been naked in films, not that you get to see anything, but still. I guess it’s like how I can sing to a gazillion people at once, but singing to just a couple, or one?” She shivered. Her phone signaled a text, she glanced at it. “Oh, it’s Emily”

E- Brodie we need to go over a couple of things, can we facetime?  
B- sure  
It rang almost immediately after she tapped send  
“Hey Emily” she gave a small wave. “you’re up late or early I actually have no idea”  
Emily laughed “it’s early, I wanted to call before I left for the office. Have you seen the Oprah promo?”  
“No, is it ok?” Brodie said nervously. Nina put her face in frame and raised her eyebrows  
“Hi Nina, ready to sign with me yet?” Emily teased   
“Actually, yes”   
Emily smiled and clapped her hands “to answer your question Brodie, it’s good. There is a lot of buzz and speculation as to who it is.” Brodie felt that feeling in her stomach creep up. “anyway, that’s not why I’m calling. Remember that I met with Disney last week? They sent me an offer last night, you ready?” Brodie shook her head no then yes than no again Emily laughed “It’s good news, relax”

“Alright, hit me with it” she winced running her hand through her hair “I’m ready”

“You might have heard of their Disney+ division” Emily teased “Well, they saw the interaction at the D23 expo and thought it would create some good buzz if you would contribute a couple of songs for the Falcon/Winter Soldier project.”

“Seriously? Are you fucking with me?” she could not believe it was real Disney AND Marvel?

“I’m not fucking with you” she held up the offer “Now what I was told off the record is if all goes well, there could be further offers, other series, maybe one for an animated feature, of course that’s not in stone, but it is definitely a possibility” 

“did you tell them about the Oprah thing?”

“yes, not in detail, but they know”

“I…yes…I mean, I…wait, do you think Sebastian would be ok with it? With me being, what did you call it contributing?” she looked to Nina who nodded yes

“Brodie, I love Seb like a son, but this is about you and what you are ok with. No one else”

“Right, you’re right.” She thought for a second “Ok, tell them yes” she exhaled 

“Excellent!” Emily smiled “I’ll send you the details. Also, look online for that promo. I’ll talk with you soon” and she disconnected.

Nina shoved her phone in Brodie’s face, she had found the promo and had been waiting to watch it. She pushed play and put her cheek on Brodie’s so they could both see it. It was definitely mysterious. They didn’t show any images of Brodie at all, there was a dialog crawl that said “Millions of records sold. A rock icon, beloved by around the world” Brodie rolled her eyes and scoffed “Beloved? I doubt it. Why ‘icon’? I hate that!” “Shush!” Nina scolded “A secret revealed” it showed Oprah asking “why now?” “the interview you don’t want to miss” “Oh for fucks sake” Brodie threw up her hands Nina elbowed her. Then Oprah saying “This is the purest example of how it’s not what happens to us, but what we do with it” Brodie rubbed her eyes with her fingers. 

Nina looked at her, tears in her eyes “I’m so proud of you B”

“you don’t think that was a little dramatic?” Brodie said frowning

“No, I think it was perfect, and I can’t wait for people to know what I know, that you are the most kickass, amazing, beautiful, kind person in the world” Nina hugged her tightly “I love you so much” Brodie didn’t say anything she wasn’t sure how she felt. This was about to be very real, very quickly.

Since she had no idea where Sebastian was at the moment she texted him.

B- Hey, handsome.   
S- Who dis?  
She took a selfie and sent it to him  
S- WOAH! Hello, gorgeous! What can I do to you? I mean for you.  
B- Careful, I have a boyfriend  
S- Yeah? Is he a big guy?  
B- Very. (Eggplant emoji)  
S- (gif of RDJ rolling his eyes)  
B- God damn it! I almost dropped my phone from the HORROR!   
S- What’s up baby?  
B- Talked to Emily, Disney wants me to contribute some songs for your show  
S- REALLY?!!  
B- yeah. I said yes. What do you think?  
S- I think it’s amazing, what do you think?  
B- I mean, it’s Disney and Marvel and you. I think it’s crazy!  
S- It’s so cool!  
B- you’re not mad?  
S- Why would I be mad?   
B- I don’t know, I just wanted to make sure  
S- I love you baby. I’m proud of you.   
B- Thank you. I love you too. 

Friday, when Brodie woke up, her first thought was that she missed Sebastian, then about that night’s upcoming performance, but the one that made her sit up was realizing that the interview would play on tv that night. Her mind started racing and panic started to rise. She tried to concentrate on her breathing, it wasn’t working. 

“Hey Baby” she had picked up the phone and called him without thinking about it  
“hey I’m sorry, is this a bad time?”  
“No, never. What’s up?”  
“It’s Friday”  
“yeah…”  
“the interview is on today”  
“Oh right! I’m sorry I didn’t realize, you ok?”  
“I’m fine” she said automatically   
“What time is it on?”  
“Actually, I’m not fine. I don’t, I don’t know why I said that. I’m starting to panic”  
“Ok baby, it’s ok. What’s happening?” he said it calmly  
“What do you mean? I’m panicking that’s what.” She started to pace in her hotel room  
“tell me why”  
“Why? Because everybody is gonna know. Everybody! The entire planet!” her voice was getting louder  
“Ok, you already thought about that, right?”   
“Yes, but…”  
“You already decided that it would be…?”   
“Better that I said it instead of Duncan” she said it in a pout but suddenly much calmer  
“Right. Listen doll, the entire planet won’t see it. Only those who have cable or the internet”  
She laughed despite herself “Oh that’s all? That makes it much better”  
“I’m sorry I’m not there with you”  
“It’s ok, don’t feel bad. Please. Just talking to you makes me feel better. I’m sorry I’m still on this fucking tour. Why are these 12 weeks taking so long?” she whined  
“One more week, one more week”  
“I know, I know”  
“I’m saying it for me! One more fucking week!”

She was on stage performing when the show aired for the first time. Nina and Terri watched it backstage. Ellie watched it as she was nursing Joseph, tears streaming down her face. Robert and Susan watched together, they had been interviewed as well but this was Brodie’s show. It was impossible to take your eyes off her. After 10 minutes of it playing Olivia started fielding phone calls with interview offers, she finally stopped answering so she could see the rest. JD didn’t see it at first, but turned it on when he got a text from one of his associates. He called her some choice names, screaming at the television until his wife told him if he didn’t stop she was taking the kids and leaving. Duncan was in New York with his and Brodie’s ill mother. He watched from her hospital room, their mother opened her eyes half way through the broadcast saying “Brodie?” when she heard her voice on the television. “No mom. It’s Duncan. I’m here, that bitch is just on the tv” he spit out.

Sebastian watched it online with his friend Paul. They were both in England filming separate projects. It was 2am there. Paul put his arm around Sebastian’s shoulders when he got emotional listening to her talk. “That’s a lot to deal with, Seb” Paul said “I love her, man.” Sebastian responded quickly in a tone that told Paul to back off Brodie. “ok, Seb. I didn’t mean anything by it” Sebastian just nodded.

Brodie came off the stage to change for the encore. They were covering Siouxsie Sioux of Siouxsie and The Banshees. Nina was waiting and hugged her tightly as soon as she stepped off. When she let go Terri hugged her. “What the fuck? That bad?” she asked

“No B, that good” Nina said with Terri nodding along in agreement 

“Well I can’t right now. I have to change and get back out so pull it together, both of you” she stomped off. Terri followed close behind

“Wait, Brodie, Seb left a voice mail” Brodie grabbed the phone from her

“Hey baby, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I miss you. I’m proud of you. Have fun with Anthony but not too much fun. Love you Brodie, talk to you soon” She listened to it 3 times while wardrobe was pulling at her. She went to lock the phone when she noticed a text alert, thinking it was from Sebastian or maybe Robert she looked. It was an unknown number

U#- Fucking bitch! Have no doubt, you WON’T win this. The world knows what a fucking piece of trash you are now. Wish you would have put that bullet in your brain to save the rest of us the misery you motherfucking walking disaster. If you really have any feelings for that poor toddler your fucking you’ll do it now.

Duncan, she thought, he never could remember the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’

She shoved the phone back at Terri on her way back to the stage. “I’m going to need a new number” she said “Immediately”


	79. Holding On By A Fucking Thread

This is what Brodie could remember from that night:   
• The encore was awesome, she put all her anger from reading her brother’s text into it.   
• Since the show was in New Orleans, where Mackie lived, he had promised to show her the Big Easy “the right way” and he did.  
• She had purposely left her phone with Terri.  
• Drinking. A lot. A lot of drinking.  
• Something about a fist fight and flashing lights. 

This is what Brodie could not remember:  
• Why her head, left hand, and right butt cheek hurt so fucking much.  
• Were the flashing lights club lights or cop lights?  
• How she got to where she was now  
• Where the fuck she was now

She slowly opened one eye, then the other and saw Sebastian’s face. She was in her bed on the bus, facing up at his poster. Ok, this is good, on the bus where I’m supposed to be, she thought. She closed her eyes again to think. She felt something move next her, no not something, someone. She turned her aching head to the right, eyes still closed. Please don’t be someone I fucked while I was black out drunk unless it’s Sebastian, she begged. Opening her eyes again she saw Terri curled up facing away from her. Ok, ok, this is a good sign, she told herself. Trying to lift her left hand to rub her eyes, she sucked in a sharp breath from the pain. Fuck! The noise woke Terri up, she turned over quickly concerned.

“You ok? What happened?” she said quickly scanning Brodie’s face

“You tell me” Brodie mumbled trying to will the pain away “I’m having trouble remembering”

“well, you left with Anthony Mackie, got very drunk apparently, hit a guy who grabbed your ass, cops drove you to the bus, I put you to bed, with Nina’s help, then stayed with you in case you got sick.” She thought for a second “Oh, and you also left your phone with me, Seb called I told him you would call him when you woke up” Brodie groaned and winced as she tried to roll on her right side

“I’ll go get you some ice for your hand, you call Seb” 

“Wait! Dial the phone for me please.” She whined. Terri rolled her eyes and did it.

“Good morning slugger, how’s the hand?”  
“hey. It hurts”  
“I bet.”   
“guess you called Mackie?”  
“No, he called me. He wanted me to know you were ok, had broken some guys nose then had a police escort to your hotel.”  
“I broke his nose?” no wonder my hand hurts, she thought. She looked at it for the first time. It was swollen and bruised  
“Yep. Mackie said you showed the cops your ass” She thought hard, but had no memory of it  
“Uh, did he also say why?”  
“I guess it was to keep him from getting arrested?” That clicked.   
“Right, right, right. He hit the guy after I did. Then the guy tried to say he was innocent so I showed them the hand print on my ass” and that’s why my right ass cheek hurts she thought  
“Mmmmm-hmmm” he wanted to hit the guy too “You ok?”  
“Dude, I am holding on by a fucking thread right now. But I think I’ll be better if I get more sleep or coffee or coffee while I’m sleeping”  
“Have you seen the interview yet?”  
“No. I guess I have to, huh?” she wasn’t looking forward to it  
“I think you should, you have a lot of support. They talked to a lot of people”  
“Like who?”   
“Just watch it baby. I think it will make you feel better.”  
“yeah, ok.” she was feeling insecure about how this would affect him “Sebastian?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Are you sure you want me to come with you to the film festival thing next week? Because it’s ok if you think it might be too weird after all this. I won’t be mad or anything.”  
“Good try Brodie, but you’re coming with me and we’re going to walk in together, like a couple”  
“You have no idea how hard it is for me to not say ‘a couple of what’. It is actually hurting my brain.”   
“I’m pretty sure that’s from the alcohol”  
“Oh, whatever!”

When they said goodbye, Brodie slowly dug around for her laptop. Terri had brought her some ice for her hand and some aspirin for everything else. She opened her MacBook and found the show online careful not to read any comments. She made it full screen so she wouldn’t be tempted to look at what people had posted then pressed play. She hated watching herself talk, she noticed how much she used her hands, her weird facial expressions. Ew, is that what her voice really sounded like?

They did talk to a lot of people. Close friends like Susan, Robert, and Nina; and musicians like Joan Jett, Lady GaGa who she had never met, and Dave Grohl, who thankfully didn’t tell the drumstick story. There were interviews with some of the people who had gotten help getting off the streets, these made her get a lump in her throat. She thought they gave her way too much credit, but was grateful they were doing well. Then, of course, Sebastian. 

He looked so good, his voice didn’t sound weird, she thought. Oprah asked him a little about himself, a little about his career. Brodie thought it wasn’t nearly enough, she loved hearing him talk. Then she asked him about Brodie

“Tell me about who you know her to be” Oprah said 

“Um, she’s just the best person I’ve ever met. She’s strong, caring, smart. She’s really funny, she makes me laugh a lot.” He flashed a giant smile “I have been a fan of hers since, for a long time. I mean, I had a poster of her on my bedroom ceiling.” Brodie winced watching “I had this idea of what she would be like in person, you know, I imagined this perfect woman. Like you imagine what it would be like to meet the people you admire” Oprah nodded “Sometimes you meet them, and like you,” he gestured to Oprah “they measure up to that expectation” he rubbed his hand along his beard and chuckled “and sometimes…” he grimaced “they really don’t” Oprah laughed

“Sometimes you meet one and you want to say ‘ok, I’m just going to go with my imaginary version of you’” Oprah joked

“Right.” Sebastian nodded with wide eyes “When I met Brodie, this woman who in my mind was here,” he put his hand up to indicate right above his head “she was so far beyond that” he stretched his arm up to its full extent. “Here’s this person that’s been through so much, she could be angry. I mean she has every right to be just mad at the world, but she is the kindest person you’ll meet.”

“I told her that you see what she did with her past not what happened in her past, is that how you feel?”

“Yeah, I mean, she kinda thinks that everyone sees the abuse on her, like it’s a sign on her forehead or something. I look at her and see someone who’s chosen to be better than what she was given, she’s a miracle” he blushed giving a tiny smile and then softly said “She’s my miracle” 

“So, I’m going to ask you the same thing I asked her. Is this love, is she the one?”

“Yes” It was a simple one-word answer, that he said with such confidence. Brodie picked up the phone

“Hey doll”  
“I have a confession”  
“Ooo.k.”  
“you remember my stalker? The one from the night we met?”  
“Oh, that guy? Yeah.”  
“Well, I am completely, hopelessly, totally, 100% in love with him”  
“Yeah? Are you sure?” he chuckled  
“Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything”  
“Well, he’s a lucky guy.”  
“You think so? I think he’s the perfect guy.”  
“so, uh, you are talking about me, right?” Brodie laughed  
“Yes Sebby, I’m definitely talking about you”  
“Whew! For a minute there I was planning some guys murder”  
“We’ve talked about this, if you plan it, that’s premeditation”

Seven more shows, was all Brodie was thinking as she made her way off the bus to go to sound check. They were in Austin, Texas. She walked into the arena and immediately came face to face with David, who looked angry. She tried to just act normal so she attempted to smile and move past him, he stepped to the side so she had nowhere to go but run into him.

“Uh, you wanna let me by, please?” he moved towards her until she backed up against the wall. He put his hands next to each of her shoulders, his face inches from hers. “You’re not my husband or my handler anymore so you better move the fuck aside” she said calmly.

“Are you going to tell everything?” he said in a hiss “Because I can be your friend or your enemy Brodie”

“You can relax, fuckface. I’m not going to spill your secrets” he relaxed his stance slightly “Don’t think for a second I’m doing it for you though. I didn’t say anything for Stephanie and Jenn” he dropped his arms to his sides and his chin to his chest looking defeated

“Thank you” he said quietly, she scoffed at him “No really, thank you. Steph would never forgive me.” She turned and walked down the hallway to find Terri. Although she had stood up to him, there was a part of her deep down that was still scared of him. She pushed it down, this was just the beginning she reminded herself. 

Nina was waiting for her in the dressing room they were apparently sharing. Brodie walked up to her without a word and hugged her tight. “I love you sweet pea, thank you for what you said about me” 

“Aw B, I only told the truth. How you feeling? You were very happy last night when I had to help Terri put you to bed. Brought back so many memories” she teased her. “It’s a good thing I am in a committed relationship now, because you kept trying to shove your tongue down my throat” Brodie let go of her and cringed

“I did? I’m sorry” she tried to remember but came up blank “I guess, thank you for refusing my offer?”

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” She rolled her eyes “You kept calling me Sebastian it ruined the mood” Brodie started to laugh “It’s not funny, you even called me daddy” Brodie laughed harder “I felt so used” Nina laughed now too. 

“Oh man, I am sorry” she shook her head “I really am. I shouldn’t have drunk so much, I just needed to forget for a bit”

“Forget the interview?” Nina asked sitting down and grabbing a bag of chips. Brodie opened her phone and found Duncan’s text.

“No, the text from my brother” Brodie answered sitting next to Nina, shoving her hand in the bag for chips. Nina held out her hand for Brodie’s phone. 

“Mother fucker! That’s a little scary” She said reading the text “what did Seb think?” Brodie shrugged “you know I’m going to send this to him” she forwarded it to him “whoa look, you have like a hundred unread texts here from all kinds of people…” she turned the phone to Brodie 

“I’m not ready to read them” she said seriously “I can’t”

“You want me to prescreen?” Nina offered even though she knew Brodie would refuse.

She almost said no but then thought about how she needed to ask for help “Actually, would you?” Nina smiled, happy that Brodie was allowing her to help. She read the good ones out loud as Brodie sat quietly listening, eating potato chips. They laughed together at the funny ones, like the text from Mackie that said “here I thought I was protecting you but I was actually saving that guys life.” The nice ones, like one from Joan Jett, made Brodie blush “Hey kid, So proud of you” she still couldn’t grasp that Joan knew who she was.

Brodie went to the stage for sound check, Jeremy was already behind the drum kit but he got up and walked over to her. He held his arms out. She looked at him curiously for a second, then smiled and leaned into him for a hug. “All these years” he said as he held her tight “all we’ve been through together and I had no idea” he kissed the top of her head “I always thought you were a strong woman, but damn girl, you’re a fucking badass!” she laughed. He let her go and turned her around by her shoulders to face Malcolm. 

He took her hands in his “You must have thought I was such a prick, drinking myself to death because of my petty bullshit. You listened to all my crap and never…” he shook his head tearing up “I’m so sorry I didn’t know”

“Well you didn’t know because I never told you.” She hugged him “Dude, whatever it is that hurts you, hurts you. It’s not a contest, ok?” she kissed his cheek “come on now, let’s do this so I can go eat, I’m starving.” 

The last week seemed to take forever. When they finally rolled in to Los Angeles for the final show Brodie was exhausted. They had played Austin, Dallas, Albuquerque, Tucson, and two nights in Vegas without a break. The amount of press wanting to talk to her was overwhelming. Olivia had flown out to Dallas to help her get through it, Nina was happy about that. Terri was fielding more and more responsibilities. Brodie had come to really enjoy having her around and asked her to move to New York, she said she would talk to her boyfriend Danny.

Sebastian made her promise that she would ‘let security do their job’, so she had two guys with her constantly. He was uneasy with Duncan’s text message on top of all the attention she was getting. Robert agreed and knew that Brodie was on edge too when she didn’t argue with either of them, not even just for fun with him. 

Brodie decided to use a little of the spotlight for good that last night. When Nina asked who she wanted to cover for the last show, Brodie told her she wanted to end where she began with The Runaways. She had really planned to honor Nina and had worked it out with her back up band to play the encore with them. They walked out together and Brodie grabbed Nina’s hand and pulled to the front of the stage with her 

“These past few weeks” Brodie began “I’ve been covering female rock musicians that have influenced me in different ways. It’s been fun and I’ve gotten to meet some of my all-time idols and I’ve even gotten to do a few performances with a couple of them.” She looked at Nina “as amazing as that was, the absolute best musician I’ve had the privilege to share the stage with ever, ever, ever, is this woman right here” she held her arm out gesturing to Nina who was blushing. The crowd cheered loudly for her and Brodie joined them. Nina smiled shyly then bowed. “We have been friends since the second we met. I have learned more from her on and off the stage then anyone I’ve ever known. She is the best human being and the most kickass, skilled, rock god you will ever have the honor of watching. LA give it up for my idol, Jennine Porter!” Nina was tearing up by then, Brodie stepped back so the crowd could go wild for her. 

She turned back to Brodie who pointed for her to face the crowd. Nina looked around taking in the love the arena was giving her. She stepped back and hugged Brodie tightly. Brodie said ‘I love you” in her ear, then kissed her. They stood together foreheads touching looking into each other’s eyes for a moment. They both knew this was the end of the life they had fought hard to leave behind, and the beginning of the one they both deserved. The record they were about to make together was going change everything, they could both feel it.


	80. Rock Star Asshole

The tour was finally done. Back in the day, a twelve-week tour was nothing, but now it wore Brodie out. She was sitting in the airport waiting to board a plane to Toronto, Canada. It was early Saturday morning, LAX was busy with activity. Brodie was looking at her phone while Olivia was finishing up some business sitting next to her. She had a feeling someone was looking at her so she glanced up. Not seeing anyone looking her way, she looked back down but the nagging feeling wouldn’t stop. She glanced up again looking more to the left and right. This time she noticed a man in his mid 40’s holding his phone in a way that looked like he was taking her picture. She quickly looked back down and turned in her seat away from him.

She was used to getting recognized occasionally, it came with the profession she chose, but she was feeling a little edgy because of recent events. It was creepy when someone just took your picture trying to be sneaky, it was much better if they would just come up and ask for one. She put the hood of her sweatshirt up. Olivia noticed she was turned more towards her, subtly trying to hide her face. 

“You ok?” Olivia asked looking around 

“Some guy just trying to sneak a picture. I’m just a little nervous and tired, so it’s getting to me.”

“You want me to get security?” Olivia asked quietly. Brodie shook her head no

“I just really want to get to Sebastian. I know it sounds pathetic but I just feel better when he’s with me.” She pulled her knees up, wrapped her arms around them, then laid her head down on top. 

“I don’t think it’s pathetic at all, it’s sweet.” Olivia rubbed her back “you have free time now, you can spend more of it with him” She said trying to cheer her up.

“Thanks, I hope so.” She had been trying to figure out how she could follow him around without him getting completely sick of her. They still had a record of only 8 days in a row together, what if day 9 was the one where he realized she was a pain in the ass? “I’m glad Nina is staying in New York. How do you feel about it?” 

“I’m really, really happy actually. She’s so amazing.” Olivia smiled widely, blushing.

“Yeah, she really is. She’s happy with you. I love that.” The announcement to board group 1 was made. “That’s us, where the fuck is Terri?”

“I’m right here” she said rushing up holding Starbucks “I wanted to make sure we didn’t get too grumpy” she teased Brodie as she handed her the coffee. 

“I know I’ve said this before but I think I’m really ready to marry you now.” Brodie sighed as she took a sip. “I’m also glad you talked me into first class. I’m getting a little spoiled. Promise you won’t let me become one of those rock star assholes” 

“I promise” Terri said “first sign of rock star asshole and I take away the coffee” Brodie gripped her cup and held it close

“Don’t you dare!” she gathered her stuff to board the plane “Oh wait! I almost forgot!” She dug in her bag and pulled out Lil Bucky. “I grabbed him last night at the house” She took a selfie with the toy, the airline’s logo behind them. She sent it to Sebastian

B- On our way to see you.  
S- Lil Bucky! My buddy! Can’t wait to see him!  
S- oh and you too.  
B- I hope you and Lil Bucky have a wonderful time in Canada. I’ll just send him w/ Terri.  
S- Aw! I was just kidding. You better get on the plane too!  
B- Maybe.  
S- Now baby doll, don’t disobey me.  
B- fine!  
S- Excuse me?  
B- Yes daddy. I’m getting on the plane  
S- Good because I can’t wait to fucking see you.  
B- I can’t wait to see you too

Brodie was twisting her arm around trying to get a good picture of Lil Bucky seat belted in next to her. The flight attendant chuckled watching her for a few seconds

“Here, I can get that for you” he offered. She handed him her phone “My name is Brad, if there is anything you need just let me know” he said handing her phone back

“Nice to meet you, I’m Brodie” she held her hand out for him to shake “Thank you so much for your help. I know it looks weird, but my boyfriend did this whole adventure with this little guy when we first met and I’m trying to do one too, but I suck at it” she laughed 

“Oh, I can help!” Brad said excited “Believe it or not we get this kind of thing more often then you would think.” He held his hand out “Give me this little guy and follow me” Brodie handed him over

“His name is Lil’ Bucky” she said as she followed him to the front of the plane. Brad was amazing. They took pictures with the other flight attendants doing all kinds of things like riding on the beverage cart, making coffee in the galley, trying not to get sucked into the toilet. Brad had the idea of confiscating Lil Bucky’s weapons and did a hilarious series of photos with him shaking his finger at the toy, securing his little plastic gun and knife in a barf bag, and Lil Bucky sitting with his head down in shame. “I can’t thank you enough. You should do this for a living, although I don’t know how much demand there is for action figure posing”

“That’s why I work for the airline” Brad said laughing “the biggest demand for that is here. We get a lot of ‘flat Stanley’s’ and parents who want to take photos with their kid’s toys, stuff like that.” 

“That’s awesome! I wish I could do something to thank you” she said “you really went above and beyond”

“Please, this is my way of thanking you. You’ve helped me through some rough stuff with your music. Plus, I saw your Oprah interview, it was really touching. You are exactly how your boyfriend described you. If this is Lil Bucky, do you call him ‘Big Bucky’?”

“No” Brodie said laughing “I call him Sebastian. I know, boring, but…” she shrugged rolling her eyes

“That man is a full-on daddy” said one of the other attendants named Laurie “oh, sorry” she said embarrassed in front of Brodie

“No, you’re right” Brodie said smiling slyly “He is a Daddy with a capitol ‘D’” and she winked at them.

“I knew it!” Laurie exclaimed “it’s the stare that he does that gives it away” she said to Brodie quietly who nodded in agreement.

With about 30 minutes to go before landing, Brodie was sitting quietly watching a movie. A flight attendant from the back section of the plane approached her seat. “Excuse me, Ms. Lee? So sorry to bother you”

“Oh my god, please call me Brodie. It’s no bother, what can I do for you?”

“There is a girl back in my section, she is a big fan of yours and I told her I would ask you for an autograph. We don’t normally…” Brodie held her hand up

“Can you let her come up here? Or can I go back there?” Brodie started to unbuckle her seatbelt

“Oh, I can bring her up.” She said surprised “Like I said, we don’t normally do this, but she just touched my heart with her story” 

“No need to explain, please let her come up here. I would love to meet her” Brodie got up and waited by her seat. Terri’s seat was behind hers, she was fast asleep. Olivia, who was across the aisle, had her headphones on. She looked up at Brodie in question but she happily waved her off. The partition opened and a young girl emerged, dressed in black, with dyed black hair, heavy black eyeliner, Brodie thought she was looking at her younger self walking towards her. As she got closer to Brodie, the girl started to visibly tremble. Brodie smiled at her and walked to meet her half way putting her arms out wide. The girl almost fell into her arms, she just held her at the same time guiding the girl to her seat. 

“Sit down” Brodie told her gently “Tell me your name” she kneeled down in front of her so they were eye to eye

“My name is Aria” she looked Brodie straight in the eyes

“Nice to meet you Aria, I’m Brodie” She smiled “How old are you?”

“I’m 15. I love you. I love your music. I want to be you when I grow up” she said earnestly 

“Thank you. I’m glad you like my music, it means everything to me. I really hope that you be Aria when you grow up though.” She winked at her “why are you going to Toronto? Do you live there?”

“No, yes, I will. I used to but then I went to live with my mom in LA, but now I’m going back to my dad” She looked down and took a deep breath “I watched the show you were on” Brodie bent down further so she could make eye contact again. Aria looked up “I called the number that was on there.” Brodie nodded and held out her hand, Aria took it. “I didn’t know people like you… you’re so perfect, I thought that I was bad, but you aren’t, so maybe?”

“Aria, I’m so proud of you. That was so fucking… I mean freaking…sorry.” Aria laughed “I have a problem with swearing. I’m so proud of you and what you did was so brave. I wasn’t that brave at your age. It took me until I was this old to tell people.” She squeezed her hand “You’re my hero dude” Aria smiled and blushed “I hate to tell you this but I am far, far, far, from perfect. You, my darling, are far, far, far from bad, ok?” 

They talked until the plane was about to land and they had to sit in their own seats. Brodie gave Aria a number she could call her on if she needed anything. When the plane landed, Brodie waited for Aria at the gate and walked with her until she found her dad waiting for her past customs. They said goodbye, Aria’s dad thanked Brodie for doing the interview and being nice to his daughter. As she watched them walk away, Terri came up and put her arm around Brodie’s shoulders “Yeah, I don’t ever see that ‘rock star asshole’ thing happening” 

It took a little while to get to the hotel through all the security. When they arrived, Brodie was nervous all of a sudden. She thought it maybe was the anticipation, the exhaustion, or the stress of the past weeks. Sebastian’s assistant was waiting for her to give her the room key and coordinate with Terri for the next day’s events. Brodie said goodbye to them all and made her way to the elevator. Going up she had a clear vision of walking into a hotel room long ago, finding Dave and Theresa together. Where the hell did that come from? She wondered. Her throat felt dry as the elevator opened and she stepped out. 

She walked down the hall looking at the room numbers. As she approached the door to Sebastian’s room she heard voices. She tried to make out who they were. She definitely heard Sebastian laugh, was that a female? She held the key card up to the sensor, that was absolutely a female! She took a deep breath and opened the door. Sebastian was sitting in the lounge part of the room on a small couch next to a man Brodie recognized but couldn’t think of his name. Standing in front of them animatedly telling and acting out a story was a tall, thin, brown haired woman. The two men were watching her, faces lit up with laughter. 

Brodie stepped in carefully. The click of the door closing behind her happened during a quiet point in the woman’s narrative. All three looked towards the sound. Sebastian jumped up and quickly closed the distance between them grabbing her in his arms and lifting her off her feet. He held her there a few seconds then put her down looking at her face and smiling he said simply “Hi” She said “hi” back in a whisper. 

He grabbed her hand “Come meet my friends” he said pulling her towards them “Brodie this is Shailene Woodley” they shook hands “This is Jamie Dornan” he gestured to the man he was sitting next to who was now standing to greet her. They also shook hands. Jamie gestured to his right, Brodie hadn’t seen the woman in the chair next to him

“This is Amelia my wife” 

“HI!” Brodie said in surprise “How are you?” she said as they hugged

“I’m good! It’s so good to see you again” Jamie and Sebastian looked at each other “Seb I had no idea you were seeing my Birdie!” she said Brodie laughed at the nickname 

“Birdie?” Sebastian repeated Jamie shrugged. Brodie turned to Shailene 

“I’m sorry. I interrupted your story.” She moved over to the side to let her finish

“Don’t worry about it! We were just keeping Seb company until you got here. He was pacing a hole in the floor. We will get out of your way”

“Oh no, you don’t have to go” Brodie said politely. They all said that they were tired and left in a hurry. Amelia and Brodie promised to catch up the next day. As soon as the door closed she felt his arms come around her from behind. She closed her eyes as he buried his face in her neck. 

“Really?” he said in her ear “’you don’t have to go’?” he bit her ear lobe

“I was being polite! What did you want me to say? ‘alright get the fuck out!’?” she laughed

“Yeah!” he nuzzled her neck harder, his beard tickled so she scrunched up her shoulder “I would have also excepted ‘get the fuck out, please’” he joked as he slid his hands under her shirt, grabbing her breasts. She dropped her head back. “I want you” he said “I want you, now” She pulled his hands out of her shirt, turning to face him. She put her arms around his neck and jumped up in his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. 

“I want you too” she kissed him “I want you now daddy” she kissed him again harder. He put his hand in her hair and pulled her head back

“Call me by my name” he demanded “say my name”

“Sebastian” he pulled a little harder “Sebastian!” he took a couple of steps so that her back was against the wall. 

“You’re all done with the tour now” he said as he pressed his body hard against her “You’re all mine now” he pushed her legs down so she was standing then reached behind his head and grabbed her wrists pinning her arms high above her head “I can keep you here for days and days and no one would notice” she chuckled because she heard Nina say ‘told you, serial killer’ in her head “Is that funny?” she shook her head no as she tried hard to stop smiling. He narrowed his eyes at her. 

He let go of her and stepped back staring at her like he was trying to memorize her face. He cocked his head to one side. “What do you think we should do, hmm?” he asked in a tone that said this was a rhetorical question. “part of me wants to take my time fucking you” he moved in closer again “slow until you can’t stand it anymore” he kissed her slow and gentle. Her arms slid down to her sides in surrender. “But, there’s another part that wants it hard and fast” he put his hands on either side of her head and stared down at her, she had a quick flash of David trapping her like that but pushed it away “so hard that you scream my name” she whimpered as he bit her neck. He pulled back taking a step “then there’s this tiny part of me that just wants to do nothing” he took another step back “so that you beg me. I wonder which one is going to win?” he grabbed her hand and lead her to the bedroom.

He told her to sit in the chair and she did as she was told. He nonchalantly started to undress as she watched silently. I guess the begging one won, she thought, wait this could be the slow one, it could also be the hard and fast one and he is getting undressed to save time. By the time he was completely undressed she ached to touch him. Definitely the begging one she concluded. Wait, was she allowed to speak? “daddy?” she said very quietly testing it out.

“what baby?” he said turning to the bed to pull down the covers

“Can I get up?” “Please?”

“Sure” he shrugged as he climbed into bed. 

Oh, I don’t like this one, she thought, he’s not winning this because I don’t want to play this one again. She got undressed and climbed into the bed next to him. Whoever made the first move was the loser, she knew that much. He laid perfectly still hands behind his head staring at the ceiling. She could not stop fidgeting. She smelled his cologne.

“Oh, fuck it” she gave up “Sebastian please” he didn’t move except for the very corner of his mouth started to curl up in a smile. “Please?” nothing. She sat up and crawled over to him on all fours “pretty please?” she said sweetly. No even a glance her way. She pulled the covers off and straddled him, sitting up facing away. She slid down until the tip of his dick was just touching her crest. She looked back over her shoulder, he was finally looking at her. She took his dick in one hand and held it so it was pointing up, then maneuvered until it was at her opening. She looked back at him again, he had lifted his head to watch her. She slowly sat down on him until he was fully inside her. “Please” she begged as she grinded on top of him. 

She felt his hands grab her hips as he sat up. She sat up straighter and arched back holding her breasts in her hands. He slid one hand from her hip to between her legs, rubbing her clit in a circular motion. His other hand came around her stomach and pulled her close against him. “Who’s your daddy?” “you are, Sebastian” “who do you belong to?” “you, I belong to you” “who do I belong to?” “Me. You’re mine” They came within seconds of each other. 

When she recovered herself enough, she got up and then laid down on top of him. Her ear pressed against his chest listening to his heart beat. He put his arms around her. “you win” he said. She opened her eyes “what?” “you heard me, you won. I couldn’t keep from touching you” he said sighing. Huh, she thought, changed my mind, I like this one.


	81. Forever Is You

Sebastian came out of the bathroom and flopped down on the bed next to Brodie. She was on her back looking through her iTunes for a song to play. She settled on Metallica’s “Fuel”. She hadn’t heard it a while. James Hetfield immediately called out “Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire” Brodie closed her eyes listening to Kirk Hammett’s guitar riff as her hand automatically positioned for the notes. Sebastian watched fascinated. She glanced at him, then grabbed his right arm and stretched it across her using his forearm like the guitar’s neck and his bicep as the body. He laughed as she played along with the solo because it ticked his inner arm.   
“I think it’s off” She said pretended to tune it by twisting the tip of his fingers. He laughed and made the devil horns with his other hand. 

“Woah, don’t you point that at me!” she said and twisted his wrist so that the back of his hand faced her. “there you go”

“what’s the difference?” he asked twisting his wrist back and forth.

“When it’s like this” she made the hand sign and turned her hands palm side towards him “you’re giving out the evil eye or curse, but when you do this” she turned so the backs of her hands faced him “you’re warding off the evil eye. It’s ancient Italian magick” he looked closely at his hand still turning it back and forth.

“Huh, I didn’t know that” 

“Yeah well you didn’t grow up with a very superstitious Italian grandmother” she rolled her eyes

“He looked at her. How the hell did you get the name ‘Brodie’? It’s not very Italian” He had thought about it a few times but never asked

“Oh well that is because my parents, stellar human beings that they were, named us after where we were conceived, because they thought it was hilarious” she pretended to laugh and slapped her hand down a couple of times then deadpanned “I was named after some seedy bar, somewhere in Jersey. Brody’s”, she made jazz hands “with a ‘y’”

“Really?” he looked confused “Where was Duncan conceived? Dunkin’ Donuts?” he laughed. She didn’t “NO!” she shrugged. He tried not to laugh but it was too funny. “Really?”

“yes, in the bathroom” she said disgusted “At this point you may be saying to yourself ‘but where was their infant daughter, named after a dive bar, while they were fucking in a public toilet?’ Well she was left wrapped in a blanket in a booth.” Sebastian’s mouth dropped open “but thankfully there is some truth to the whole cops/donuts thing” She looked at him “and that is why my grandmother raised me for a while.”

“Woah” Sebastian said then he started to laugh again “You have to admit being named after a bar is way better than being named after a chain of donut stores” she thought for a second and then started laughing too.

“I never thought of that, but you’re right. It really is better” she laughed harder “Christ I could have been like ‘Burger King Lee’” she put her hand over her eyes shaking her head. 

“Let’s just say ‘Burger King’ and forget the ‘Lee’” he rolled over so she was under him. He nudged her nose with his “ok?” 

“I know you don’t like it and I understand why, but I’m not going back to my maiden name” she said it gently thinking about what Mackie had told her. “It has nothing to do with David”

“It has everything to do with David.” He pushed his chest up with his arms on either side of her arms so he could look at her face better. “It’s his name, it means you were married to him, that you were…” he didn’t want to finish

“That I was what?” she expected him to say that she was his property, or bitch, or whore, but he sighed and said

“In love with him. That you wanted to be with him forever. That you would still be with him forever if he wasn’t such a fucking dickhead. That there’s a part of you that is sad I’m not him.” he laid his head down on her chest “I know, I know, it’s stupid” 

“No, it’s not stupid. It’s how you feel.” She put her arms around him “Sebastian, I didn’t know what love was then and I certainly didn’t plan on being around for a long period of time. I never thought about making a life with him, I never thought about the next fucking week. I was fucking relieved when I had an out of that hell.” She tapped her finger on the back of his head “Look at me” he lifted his head “I never felt about him like I feel about you. I’ve never felt about anyone like I feel about you” He looked at her with his big blue eyes “You are everything I used to wish for. You’re the hope I had when I didn’t want to go on. You are the only one I’ve wanted to be monogamist with, the only one I want touching me, just you. Sebastian, the only one I’ve ever wanted to be with forever is you.”

He slid his arms under her and held her as if his life depended on it. His face was buried in her neck. She rubbed his back with her right hand and played with his hair with her left hand. After a while he shifted to that they were face to face on their sides, he touched his forehead to hers as they fell asleep. 

“En enfer avec vous” Brodie said to the alarm “Je suis en vacance” she shook her fist in the air

Sebastian lifted his head to look at her, he had one eye open, his face scrunched up “Uhhhhh, wha?”

“I told it to go to hell I’m on vacation” she rolled on her stomach, pulling the covers over her head. He pulled the covers over his head as he scooted next to her. She felt his morning wood against her hip as he started kissing her shoulder. “Umph” He scooted closer so his leg was over her as he slid his hand along her back. “tired” she whined. He started to pull away “Don’t stop” she said “I’m just playing hard to get”. He pulled on her opposite shoulder to make her roll over “I don’t want you to think I’m easy” she teased.

“Trust me doll, ‘easy’ is not a word I would use to describe you” he laughed as she playfully smacked his arm “It’s a good thing! It’s a good thing!” he put his hands up protecting his face. 

“Mmmm-hmmmm” she narrowed her eyes “I know that’s code for high maintenance”

“Jesus Brodie, you are so low maintenance it’s ridiculous. That’s why you’re not easy. I have to fight you for every damn thing I want to do for you” he chuckled

She thought about it for a second “wow, you’re right. That sucks, I’m sorry. I’ll try to stop doing that”

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad…”

“No, no, you’re right. I’m not upset. I just never thought of it that way.” She sat up and looked down at him “I love everything you do for me; it makes me feel…” she paused then whispered “special” blushing. “I don’t want you to have to brace yourself for a fight every time. I want you to know how happy you make me feel.” He smiled “Now, give me a pony! No, shoes! Wait no, Cap’s sword, I mean shield!” He growled at her

“I’ll give you a sword!” he said sitting up and tackling her under him “authentic Romanian craftsmanship” he said in a Romanian accent 

“Ooooooo, yeah. Give it to me tati”

Brodie was flipping through the channels of the hotel television as Sebastian was getting ready to do some press before the premiere that night. “Hey baby, which one?” 

she looked over her shoulder at the choices of jackets “Hmmmm, that one” she pointed “Although you should wear more blue because it makes your eyes all pretty” she fluttered her lashes at him “like the suit you wore on our first date, raaawwrrrr” he winked at her “OH! God I totally forgot!” she jumped up and grabbed her bag, looking through it “Ah ha!” she held up Lil’ Bucky and the barf bag with his weapons in it.

“Hey! My buddy!” he took him from her then looked at the bag “uh oh, did he get air sick?” he held it by his thumb and pointer finger with his arm stretched out.

“No, he got busted” she scrunched up her face and handed him her phone. He scrolled through the pictures laughing at each one. When he got to the one of Brad scolding the toy, he had to sit he was laughing so hard. 

“Oh, I thought the toilet one was funny, but this is amazing” he kept scrolling “who’s this?” he turned the screen towards her

“Oh, that’s Aria. The flight attendant asked for an autograph for her, but I wanted to meet her so she came over.” There was a knock at the door “Sweet kid” she said as she went to open it.

He smiled waiting. She came back to him and just stood still shaking her head. He looked at her wide-eyed and shrugged innocently. She squealed and jumped in his lap. “Thank you daddy, they’re really pretty” he scooped her up and carried her into the front room where hotel waiters were setting up breakfast. There was a large vase of flowers in pinks and cream colors. There was a small card in his handwriting that read:

B  
You + me + time =  
Finally!  
Love,  
S

He put her down and tipped the waiters as she buried her face in the flowers. When he turned back, she had her eyes closed, shoulders up to her ears with a smile across her face as she was breathing in the bouquet’s scent. He had a memory of the first time he watched her do this. All he wanted to do back then was take her in his arms and kiss her, it had taken a lot of concentration to keep from doing it. This time he didn’t need to restrain himself. He moved towards her as she looked up at him, he did what he had wanted to do months ago, kissing her with all that built up want. She slowly wrapped herself around him, arms and legs enclosing him. This time, he thought, she is mine; as he carried her back into the bedroom. Breakfast would wait. 

Sitting at the table, they quietly stared at each other smiling as they ate the breakfast that had gone cold. Sebastian picked up a piece of bacon and took a bite still smiling as he chewed. Brodie was sitting cross-legged in the chair across from him smiling as she watched him over the rim of her coffee cup. She put the cup down and bit her bottom lip lifting one eyebrow. He stared for a second deciding if he should crawl over the table or push the table out of the way to get to her when there was another knock at the door. The both sighed, the spell was broken, the world was going to interrupt. He got up to answer the door, stopping to bend down giving her a tender kiss “I love you” he whispered against her mouth then turned to open the door. She closed her eyes memorizing the happiness she felt at that moment. 

Terri, and Sebastian’s assistant Chloe, walked in. Terri could feel the energy in the room. It made her feel like an intruder interrupting an intimate moment. She looked at Chloe who obviously felt it too, as she had the same look on her face as Terri. “Sorry” Terri apologized to Brodie “we waited as long as we could” 

“No worries” Brodie said “Sit, help yourself there’s plenty” she gestured to the table

“Thank you, but we have to go” Chloe apologized “Are you ready, Seb?”

“Almost” he said as he grabbed his jacket and patted down his pockets checking for his phone and wallet. He took another piece of bacon and bent down to kiss Brodie again. “see you in a couple hours, love you, baby”

“I love you, too. Don’t forget your room key” she reminded him

“Oh, yeah, right” he turned back and kissed her again “thank you”

“Go, before poor Chloe has a heart attack” she demanded. He stopped halfway to the door turned back and kissed her once more, this time longer. When he stood up he winked at her, put the piece of bacon in his mouth then followed Chloe out the door. Brodie took a deep breath and looked at Terri “Sit” she told her

“Did you have a good night?” Terri sarcastically asked a smiling-from-ear-to-ear Brodie

“Yeah” she said it shyly then changed her tone to casual “oh, you know. It was fine.” 

“If you’re going to try to sell that story, you might want to stop smiling” Terri looked her over “and glowing like that”

“Sit down and eat Terri-Bear, you’re hangry” Terri frowned at her and sat down. “What’s wrong?”

“Terri-Bear?” Brodie smiled “Fine.” She picked up a Danish and took a bite “good news is I’m moving to NYC” Brodie clapped her hands “Bad news is I’m moving alone” Brodie stopped clapping “It’s ok, really. Danny can’t leave right now. We’re going to have to do the long-distance thing”

“Is there anything I can do?” she felt guilty “You don’t have to move to New York. I won’t fire you or anything. Maybe WE could do the long-distance thing?” she offered

“No, I want to move. Danny wants to move, just not right now” She smiled at Brodie “besides I have a boss that will give me lots of time off”

“Paid time off” Brodie nodded in agreement “that reminds me, I wanted to throw something out at you. How would you feel about being a booking agent?”

“I don’t really know what they do?” Terri confessed

“Well they book the tour and stuff” Brodie scowled “Actually I don’t know details either. Buuuutt, I do have a few friends that use one and I cashed in a couple of favors. If you are interested, you can shadow a couple of them in New York, see what they do, see if you have a feel for it. If you do, then I could really use one.” 

“Can I do that and this? Sounds like two different jobs”

“Yeah, well, it is two different jobs. So, if you wanted to do that you would have to find me a replacement assistant and train them. You would want to work at a real agency and all.” Brodie shrugged

“I know what you’re doing” Terri narrowed her eyes at her “You’re doing that thing” She pointed across the table in accusation. Brodie put her hands up in defense. “That thing where you pretend it’s a favor for you, but it’s like a huge opportunity and you’re going to act like you had nothing to do with it” Brodie put her hand to her chest and feigned shock and insult.

“Look, I just need a booking agent. If you don’t want to do it you need to help me find one.”

“Brodie, what do you know about Danny?” she gave her the side-eye.

“He’s your boyfriend” Brodie said it like Terri had lost her mind “I’ve never even met him”

“Brodie, you know he’s working at a talent agency, don’t you?”

“He does? That’s a coincidence!” she shook her head “huh, weird”

“You really need to leave the acting to Seb” she rolled her eyes “and stick to the music thing”


	82. I Already Chose You

Brodie met with Amelia for lunch. They had worked together about 8 years ago on a musical project in the UK. She called her ‘Birdie’ because Brodie thought that when Amelia would say her name with her accent, it sounded like ‘biridy’. When she mentioned it to Amelia, she tried to show her the difference between the two: ‘birdy, Brodie, birdy, Brodie” but Brodie only heard “birdy, biridy, birdy, biridy”, the name stuck. They had fun catching up and Brodie felt like she had a better idea of what was to come that night at the premiere after she quizzed Amelia for details. 

“Don’t worry Birdie, you’ll be fine” she had said “I’d be more worried about watching the film”

“Why?” she said surprised

“Have you ever seen him on screen in a hot love scene since you got together? I don’t mean on a small screen, a giant cinema screen?”

“uh, no I guess not.” 

“Just keep telling yourself it’s not real.” She instructed “You don’t know how many relationships have exploded due to jealousy of on-screen romance” Brodie nodded “It’s all pretend, if it was real, he wouldn’t be with you.” She said knowingly “I had to sit through the ‘50 shades’ movies, among others”

Brodie snapped her fingers and pointed to Amelia “That’s where I know him from” she realized what she said “I meant, not from the sex scenes, I just meant, I was trying to place him last night” she put her forehead down on the table “Mel, I did not stare at your husband’s naked ass…that much” Amelia laughed

“It’s ok Birdie, you and a million other people did. It’s the nature of the game. That’s what I’m trying to prepare you for, love.” 

“Thank you. I really never thought about it and I only watched those movies once. They were not realistic portrayals of BDSM. Not your husbands acting, the whole storyline” I really need to shut the fuck up, she thought to herself

Amelia smiled “Oh I know” she gave Brodie a knowing look “he’s much better at home”

When she got back to the room, Sebastian was back taking a nap on the bed. She kissed him on the forehead and noticed he felt a little warm. She put her hand on the small of his back to check if it was warm too, something her Nona used to do. It definitely felt warm to her. He opened his eyes, yawning, and reached for her. 

“you feeling ok? You feel warm, like you’re getting a fever” she looked down at him concerned.

“I’m fine, just tired. I think its jet lag. I did just fly here from London less than 24 hours ago.” She wasn’t convinced but didn’t want to argue so she let it go

“I’ll go in the other room so you can sleep” she started to turn but he grabbed her wrist

“No baby doll, stay” he sat up and patted the space next to him for her to sit. “I wanted to ask you something”

“Ok. What’s up?” she tried not to sound as freaked out as she felt.

“You said you never take this off” he held the orchid charm around her neck between his fingers “Why?”

“Why don’t I take it off?” he nodded “because it makes me feel like you’re with me and…I mean, yeah” she shrugged

“tell me.” He urged her. He thought he knew the reason but he wanted her to say it. “tell me really why”

“well” she sighed “You gave it to me and put it on my neck” he nodded “so, you know, I just like to think of it, like, um I don’t know how much you know about the sub/little thing?” he shrugged “Can’t we just leave it at I really like it and it makes me think of you?”

“No baby doll, tell me. If you can’t talk to me about it then we can’t really commit to it.” 

“Damn it” she knew he was right “Ok fine, I like to think of it as if you gave me a collar. I know it’s not.” She said quickly “I’m not asking for one, you have to want to give me one. I know that. It’s like asking for a wedding ring or something, it’s not the same if it’s not freely given.” She got up because she wanted to flee the uncomfortable feeling. “It’s not necessary, I already chose you as my daddy. I meant it” She somehow hated that it meant so much to her that he would give her that commitment, it never mattered before him. She walked towards the bathroom.

“Stop!” he said as she started to bolt. She stood halfway to the bathroom door “turn around” she obeyed trying to avoid eye contact “go get my jacket” he nodded towards the chair, she was confused by the change in direction but she went to the chair and picked up his jacket. Under it was a box tied with pink ribbon. It was square, 5”x5” and about 1.5” thick. She looked at it, but then turned to hand him the coat. He was standing right behind her causing her to bump into him. She held the coat up, he took it from her and dropped it on the floor. He was doing that intense stare he did when they first met, his eyes focused on hers, his jaw closed tight so his jaw line was sharp and sexy as fuck. He stepped forward so she had to take a step back, then bending around her he took the box from the chair and held it in front of him with both hands. “Open” he demanded.

She pulled at the end of the ribbon to untie the bow, carefully removing it from the box as Sebastian held on to it. When she had the ribbon undone, he opened the top. Inside was a silver lariat style collar. A silver O-ring attached to one end of a 1/8” thick silver cable chain, with a dark red teardrop shaped gem at the other end. She looked up at him eyes wide, he softened his face with a little half smile. He reached over and picked up the little orchid around her neck “Day collar” then he touched the one in the box “fancy going out to a movie premiere collar” he winked at her. She smiled as wide as her mouth would go. 

Sebastian handed her the box then sat in the chair. Brodie kneeled down between his legs looking up at him. He reached his hands around to the back of her neck and unclasped the necklace, taking it off her, re-clasping it, and dropping it in his pocket. He removed the one from the box, draping it around the back of her neck like a scarf. He adjusted it a little then dropped the red stone through the O-ring. It fell straight down to land perfectly between her breasts. She looked down at it, then up at him.

“Thank you, daddy. It’s perfect.” She touched the stone with the fingers of her left hand. 

Sebastian reached out and ran his pointer finger from the tip of her chin down her neck along the chain to the gem. He put the gem between his thumb and pointer finger and tugged gently, then pulled harder so that it tightened making her lean towards him. “come up here” he patted his thigh. She climbed up to sit across his lap smiling. “It does matter, I chose you, and this means you belong to me” he said pulling on the chain “and this means you belong to me” he tapped her upper arm “that’s why I want you to show it off from now on. No more hiding it, understand?”

“Yes daddy, but” he pulled the chain

“No. No ‘but’!” he stared at her “give daddy a kiss” she leaned down and kissed him “Don’t back talk me. I can feel you wanting to disagree with me.” She shook her head no “good girl” He held her in his lap “I expect to see it tonight, I don’t want you hiding who you are anymore because you feel ashamed, AND” he said before she could protest “I don’t mean for you to shout to the world our personal details, because I know you are 0 to 90 miles an hour in a second” she made a pouting face “I just mean that you need to talk to me about this stuff without looking like you’re covered in spiders or something” She scrunched up her face and shivered “look, I know we haven’t had a lot of time to talk about it, but it’s important. Remember how you made me promise not to have sex until we talked?” she panicked for a second that he was going to make her promise that too “Relax, I’m not gonna punish myself” he laughed when she sighed in relief collapsing into him “I just mean, you know that it is important and we’ve never had the time before”

She didn’t think it was possible to love him any more than she did already, but it was. Just as important, she liked and respected who he was more, too. “Ok, you’re right. Oh god the internet is going to have a field day with it.” She rolled her eyes “for once I’m glad I opened my fucking mouth about it publicly before we met” she thought about it “Wait, second time because we wouldn’t have met if I didn’t” 

“Maybe not right then, but we would have met. You were always meant to be mine,” he kissed her forehead “and I” he pulled her in so she would have to adjust and straddle him “was born” he grabbed her hips and roughly pulled her against him “to be” she gave him her wicked scary smile as he planted one hand on her lower back and slid the other one to rest between her shoulder blades, pulling her down for a kiss “your daddy” he whispered against her lips.

She kept looking down at the red teardrop stone as the team was fussing with her, getting her ready for the event. She was in the bedroom and another team had Sebastian cornered in the other room. “I don’t know how two grown ass adults ever got dressed before all this” she had whispered to Terri when they had all invaded the room. “This is definitely rock-star-asshole territory” 

“The clean-up crew making you look amazing or your whiny bitching?” Terri said playfully

“You know, most bosses would fire you for that attitude.” Brodie said casually as several of the team members froze accustomed to fits of rage by ‘famous’ people “I, however, just added a paid vacation day as a bonus for such a clever burn” 

“You keep doing that and I’m going to be your sugar baby not your assistant.” Terri laughed

“Dang, you figured out my evil plan!” The team members looked at each other in surprise “what? She’s cute” Brodie said winking at them. 

When she stepped out of the room and saw Sebastian, her heart stopped. He was wearing a dark maroon suit with a light grey sweater. He looked so good she wanted to cry, or drop to her knees and beg, or both. He looked at her and didn’t react, his only movement was his eyes slowly scanning her up and down and up again. 

He couldn’t move because if he did, he was afraid she would have been some kind of hallucination. He would wake up, it would be April, and the whole thing would have been some perfect dream. He would be alone and sad again. If I’m dreaming, he said to himself, don’t fucking wake up. The others in the room felt the same aura that Terri had felt that morning, their attraction to each other was palpable. Brodie slowly smiled at him; she was wearing a dark smoky grey Vivienne Westwood dress. The collar’s stone sitting perfectly in the deep neckline. The straps were wide over her shoulders, about 2”, and it was sleeveless. Her upper arm was exposed as he had ordered. The top was a boned corset, then it draped slightly at the hips down to an asymmetrical hem. The front stopping at mid shin the back stopping just above the ground. The shoes were the same color as the dark red stone of the collar. Lily, the stylist, had come up with ruby earrings and a delicate ruby bracelet that matched. 

Lily looked at them both, pleased “Perfect. You look like a couple but not too matchy-matchy like a prom.” She pulled on the end of Sebastian’s suit jacket sleeve.

“I wish I looked that good at prom” Olivia said looking at Brodie “did you even look this good at prom?” she asked her

Brodie shook her head “I didn’t go to prom” she shrugged “I dropped out when I was 16, but if I did, I wouldn’t have looked anything close to this” she gestured by holding her arms out. “I don’t even look like this now, it’s all these people’s magick”

“We just enhance what is already there” Lily said proudly. 

Sebastian, finally out of his spell, stepped forward and cupped his hand to her cheek. They looked in each other’s eyes for a few seconds and then kissed. Everyone else in the room made busy work for themselves. Sebastian’s publicist, Evelyn, cleared her throat, looking to Olivia for help. Olivia threw her hands up mouthing ‘I don’t know’. Watching the exchange between the two women, Terri put her hand on Olivia’s arm

“I got this” she said looking at Chloe “you might want to take notes, in case” she walked up to them just as Mackie had showed her and yelled “TIME TO GO” they separated reluctantly. Chloe nodded to Terri in admiration. “Mackie Technique” she told her. 

“Wait” Sebastian stopped right before the door “I promised my mom a picture” 

“I’ll take it” Brodie offered. He looked at her like she was insane

“She doesn’t want a picture of me, she wants a picture of you” then he copied her voice and accent with “I want a picture of my Brodie in a pretty dress. Don’t forget” Brodie laughed

“Did she really say ‘my Brodie’?” 

“Yes! I told you, she likes you more than she likes me now” she smiled proudly

“I’ll take one of you both” offered Chloe “she can just crop you out Seb. You might want to wipe the lipstick off though” Brodie looked at his face, then used her thumb to wipe her lipstick off his bottom lip. They made eye contact and they both started to smile

“NO! NO!” Terri scolded “Picture, then out!” she looked at Chloe “you can’t let them get that googly eye stare thing going or you lose them.” 

They rode in a big black car to the Ryerson Theatre, Sebastian seemed off. She put her hand on his forehead. He was definitely warm. She leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Are you ok? I think you have a fever.” He smiled at her and took her hand 

“I’m good doll.” she didn’t believe him. She looked in the bag Terri had, and found some ibuprofen, handing it to him with a water bottle. He sighed and took the medication. “Thanks baby” 

There was a huge crowd waiting when they got there. They were across the street from the theatre behind barricades. Sebastian told the driver to stop so he could get out to say hello. The two giant security guards riding with them looked at each other and rolled their eyes. They both got out first looking around assessing the situation. Evelyn, Sebastian’s publicist, put her hand on Brodie’s knee as he climbed out to thunderous screaming of his name. “You just stay here, no need to get into that mess.” Brodie watched him wave to the crowd, then button his jacket. He’s adorable, she thought. 

He took a step forward then turned and looked back, when he saw she was still in the car he walked back putting his hand out to help her. She shook her head no and he simply raised his eyebrows. She put her hand in his, looked at Evelyn shrugging, and stepped out of the car. He put his arm around her shoulders, she put hers around his waist, this was it, the moment they made their first official appearance together. Sebastian wanted to do it in front of the fans, who he called ‘friends’, not the press line. Brodie wished he would have given her a little heads up on that, but she also knew it was probably better to just do it without getting nervous. 

He ran to the line of people signing things shoved at him and pausing for selfies. Brodie thought it was kinda fun to watch it from where she was. Usually she was in the middle of it. She started to hear a voice screaming her name in the crowd. She looked over to where Sebastian had just been and caught the eye of a girl who was waving and calling to her. She walked over to the girl who held up a picture of Sebastian “You want me to get him to sign it?” she asked “NO! I want you to sign it! I don’t have anything else!” Brodie shrugged and took the sharpie from her. She tilted her head from one side to another trying to figure out where on his face she should put her signature. Sebastian came up from the left, he noticed she had come close to the crowd so he went back to be with her, to give the security guys a break from having to watch them separately. 

“What are you doing?” he said, she was drawing hearts and flowers and writing things like ‘BL+SS’ and ‘Seb 4-ever’ on his picture. He looked at it and laughed putting his forehead down on her temple “did you even sign your name?”

“Yeah, right there” she pointed with the pen “You sign it too” she handed him the pen and he signed it.

“You can’t take that much time. Look how far we have to go” he pointed down the line of barricades

“What do you mean we?” she shook her head “I hear them screaming your name not mine” He just grabbed her hand and started walking. They quickly figured out that if they held hands with her on his left, they could both sign without having to let go, he was righthanded, she was lefthanded. It helped them get through the crowd quickly and make a smaller target for the security team to watch. 

They walked back to the car he held her arm helping her in, which made the crowd ‘awwww’. She sat down and watched him wave a final time, before he got in. He looked flush, she felt his head again it was cold and clammy. He grabbed her hand off his forehead and kissed the palm. “I’m fine, doll. I can push through it. Thank you for doing that with me”

“It was fun.” She laced her fingers with his “That was it right? We get to go back to the hotel now?” She joked

“Oh, we have a long night ahead of us” he winked then rolled the red gem between his fingers “A long night”


	83. Just A Feeling

What’s more intimidating then a line of press wanting to talk to you? Brodie thought, a line of press wanting to talk to you as a couple who is together in public for the first time. Brodie wanted to stay as much in the background as possible. This was Sebastian’s night. He had worked hard on, and was very proud of this film. Olivia and Evelyn worked out just a couple of key interviews for them together, then they would separate, Brodie would talk to a couple more alone, then go inside while Sebastian handled the rest. Brodie tried not to look thrilled that she got to escape it quickly.

The last few seconds in the car before they faced the onslaught, Brodie and Sebastian looked at each other smiling. They both knew that whatever was going to come after that, good or bad, would never break them. She couldn’t explain why it was that moment that cemented it for her, or what had given him the same feeling, but they both knew it. He raised his eyebrows at her, she nodded and they stepped out into the spotlight for the first time together.

It was only fair that the first person they talked to together was the reporter that brought them together. Brodie had mentioned it when they were working out the details earlier “do you think the reporter woman who told him about my tattoo will be here?”

“Oh, Mandi?” Sebastian asked

“Her name is Mandi? Wow, I’m an asshole. I did not know that.” Brodie frowned

“I think she’s here” Olivia said looking at her phone “I’ll confirm”

After what Brodie estimated were a gazillion photos taken of them, they went straight to Mandi Weir or as Brodie called her ‘tattoo reporter woman’. 

“I am so excited! I finally get to interview you two together and oh my gosh, see the elusive tattoo!” Mandi gushed “turn this way let’s see it” she prompted Brodie to turn towards the camera “amazing! Sebastian, what do you think about it?”

“I mean, I love it” he laughed then put his arm around Brodie pulling her close so that her left arm was behind him, giving her a break.

“Let’s talk about this film first, have you seen it yet?” She asked Brodie

“No, not yet. I’m really looking forward to it. I know that they all worked really hard on it, so I’m excited to see it” Mandi thankfully turned the questions to Sebastian, asking him about the character and the process. Brodie watched him skillfully answer without stumbling for words or fidgeting like she did. 

“So back to this” Mandi gestured back and forth between them “because I feel like I’m invested now.”

Brodie laughed “Well, hey! You started it.”

“We blame you” Sebastian joked “Good, bad, ugly, it’s all on Mandi” he said looking into the camera as Brodie nodded in agreement. 

“Well let’s hope it’s all good!” Mandi said “Brodie Lee, Sebastian Stan, thank you for stopping by and I expect an invitation to any major developments on this” They both laughed and thanked her. Off camera Mandi shook both their hands “You guys are stunning together. I’m so happy for you both. Thank you for letting me be first interview”

They did one more together for a Canadian news program, that thankfully concentrated on Sebastian and the film. The reporter asked Brodie, in a rude dismissive tone, if she was looking forward to seeing it. He spoke with a heavy French-Canadian accent so Brodie answered in French “Oui, bien sûr, je suis très excité.”in an overt flirty tone. That won him over. He gushed, asking about her music, her Oprah interview and her future plans. He held her hand as they talked, patting the top of it when she answered a question. He was so clearly smitten with her that Sebastian had to look over at Evelyn to step in. 

“Alright doll” he whispered in her ear as they moved away, ready to separate for the rest of the line “don’t forget who you belong to, no more flirting” She put her hand on the collar and smiled. He knew that look, she was going to push his buttons. Damn, he had to will himself to stop thinking about touching her and answer some fucking questions. Plus, she was right, he wasn’t really feeling that great. The ibuprofen took the edge off it, but he knew he would be sick the next day. He just had to power through the rest of the night. 

Brodie escaped to sweet freedom inside the theatre. She checked her phone, there were several texts waiting. She opened Robert’s first

RDJ– Why am I being assaulted with pictures of you and Seb all of a sudden?  
RDJ– Seriously darling, I can’t even be on the internet for a second without seeing you  
RDJ- It’s very upsetting  
B- I love you too, asshole.  
RDJ- (kissing face emoji)

Nina’s were next:  
N- B! It’s beautiful! Congrats!  
B- Thanks. It’s really shinny!   
N- Did he get you a scene one too?  
B- No, but we haven’t had much time alone (frowning face emoji)  
N- I’m sure he got you one  
B- Doesn’t matter this one is perfect  
N- B, your feelings matter  
B- thanks Oprah  
N- fuck you too! So did Livi say anything about it?  
B- no, why?  
N- Haven’t really talked to her about it  
B- I will call you, we will talk about it tomorrow  
N- ok love you have fun  
B- love you too  
Damn it, Nina! She thought, I am not going to be the one to find out if your girlfriend is into it. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not! 

“Hey Olivia, I was just texting with Nina” fuck, she thought “Yeah she uh liked the necklace Sebastian gave me so she texted me about it” Why am I doing this? She asked herself

“Oh, it is really pretty. You did great out there!” she hugged her “You know I’m going home first thing in the morning so I’m just going to finish up here and go back to the hotel. So, in case I don’t see you before then, take care, I’ll see you soon”

“Thank you for everything, you have changed my whole career.” Brodie squeezed her tight “Plus, I got an amazing friend too”

“we’ll be in touch in the next couple of days. Have a good time with Seb” she winked

“thanks. Good luck with Nina, I mean, have fun with Nina” she joked they did the secret handshake and Olivia sped off to talk to Evelyn. Brodie texted Nina

B- Vanilla. But maybe open to it. You owe me one.  
N- Thanks B. (heart emoji)

She walked over to Terri. What the hell, she thought, she already knew she called him daddy “hey Terri-Bear, what do you think of the necklace Sebastian gave me?” 

“I like it, it’s subtle but not, you know?” she pulled on a long chain around her neck that was tucked into her shirt, an O-ring hanging from it. “why do you ask?” she said casually

“just a feeling” Brodie said “Sebastian wants to be more, uh, relaxed about it. You are around for a lot of personal things, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable with it. I was comfortable with you, you know?” Terri smiled and nodded Brodie put her arm around her shoulders “Urgh, you’re like the little sister I always wanted” she shook her and Terri laughed “let’s get a drink!”

They met up with Amelia at the bar, Brodie introduced them and told Terri why Amelia called her ‘birdie’. “how do you know if she is calling you Brodie or Birdie if it sounds the same?” 

“I don’t” they all laughed “I assume it’s Birdie because that’s all I hear” Brodie joked “I figure it doesn’t sound like bitch so it’s good”

“Darling Birdie, in the UK we say cunt” Terri almost choked on her drink “We’re just more refined that way”

“Dude! I should have grown up there. I feel like they’re my people!” Brodie said wistfully

“Oh, and all the guys with British or Irish or Scottish accents” Terri rolled her eyes and sighed “Just walking around sounding so hot”

“See we don’t get that” Amelia said

“Trust me it’s a thing” Brodie said “I used to be a total goner for an Irish accent”

“Used to be?” 

“Yeah, I’ve really come to appreciate a Romanian accent lately” she threw up her hands “Romanian men are so sexy” 

“you know, I like a good Northern Irishman” Amelia winked “Sturdy, well built, nice ass” she pointed her drink at Brodie who nodded in agreement

“OH, mine’s German. He’s from the US but his family is German” Terri said

“Good on you!” Amelia touched glasses with her 

“Oh, ein Deutscher Mann? Schön!” Brodie said wiggling her eyebrows

“Was that German? Jesus, how many languages do you know?” Sebastian asked as he put his hand on her lower back “what are you drinking?”

“The usual, a few, and Ja Deutsch.” He kissed her cheek 

“Anyone else need a refill?” he asked the group. 

Amelia raised her hand “Red wine, please and thank you” Terri shook her head no. “Ah Birdie, he really is gorgeous. Jamie loves him, could not stop talking about how wonderful he was. Then I met him and I had to admit he was right.” Brodie smiled with pride “I was going to look away at the naked parts tonight, but turn-about is fair play, as they say”

“I saw her husband’s naked ass in the ‘50 shades’ movies” Brodie explained to Terri. Terri blushed and looked up like she was trying to find something on the ceiling. “HA! Now we get to see Danny’s naked ass” 

“What was that?” Sebastian asked as he came back with drinks. The three women laughed. He handed Brodie a fresh drink by stepping in front of her, when his hand was free he quickly tugged on the collar without anyone seeing then kissed her on the cheek. Brodie swallowed hard as her body instantly reacted. He moved to her side putting his hand on her lower back again. She took a long drink with the little straw she was sure he put in there on purpose. The way he cleared his throat told her she was right. 

It’s not real, it’s not real, Brodie was repeating in her head as she watched Sebastian’s character, Frank, and Shailene’s character, Daphne, together. She was having trouble keeping herself from analyzing each look he gave, each way he said something, each time he touched her. Damn it, she didn’t even know him when he filmed this movie. Is that the face he makes when we’re together? No, stop, it’s not real. Sebastian, sitting to her right, felt her stiffen in her seat. He looked over at her, she was making the Bohemian Rhapsody face. He took her hand, kissed it and leaned over to whisper in her ear “I’m yours, doll. I only want to be with you.” She whispered back “I know, sorry”. She did her best to force herself to look relaxed for the rest of the movie. It wasn’t easy, there were a lot of intimate scenes, but she reminded herself how many nights he had sat in the audience while she shook her ass on stage. She could sit through one movie for him for fucks sake. 

She was relieved when they had finally gotten back to the hotel. They had gone to an after party put on by Hugo Boss. Sebastian was definitely not feeling well halfway through it. The ibuprofen had worn off and he was sweating from the fever. Brodie finally put her foot down and told him he needed to rest. Riding back in the car, he laid his head on her shoulder, she could feel the heat radiating off him. Terri and Chloe had left earlier so she had no medicine to give him. She put down the partition between the back and the driver “Excuse me sir?” 

He answered “Désolé madame, mais je ne parle que français” 

“Oh, ok, uh, avez-vous de l'… aspirin? She didn’t know the French word for aspirin or ibuprofen

“Oui, je le fais!” oh thank god she thought “Ici.” He held it up. She climbed over and took the bottle from him

“Merci bien. Il a une forte…fever... il est chaud… um, malade” she grabbed a water and opened the pill bottle, shaking out two after checking the directions. “Here Sebby, take this.” He did what she told him to. When she tried to give the medication back to the driver, he told her to keep it. They both thanked him as they exited the car 15 minutes later at the hotel. 

She helped him undress for bed. “I’m sorry doll, I really wanted to play with you tonight” She shushed him

‘You’ve got a fever, do you feel like you have a cold or anything?” she felt his forehead, then the small of his back

“why do you keep doing that?” he asked when she touched his back

“Because Nona always said that’s how you can tell if it’s a fever” she pointed to the bed “Lay down” she went to the bathroom and wet down two washcloths. He was laying on his back, she put one washcloth folded in half and then in half again on his forehead. She used the other one to wipe the sweat off his face gently. He fell asleep. She covered him with just the sheet so he wouldn’t get any warmer, then took the washcloth off his face so he would be more comfortable if he moved. 

She sat on the edge of the tub and took off her shoes, they were beautiful but they hurt. Shit, how was she going to unhook and unzip the back of this so she could take it off? She wondered. She twisted her arms behind her back. She could reach the zipper pull but not the hook at the top. Fuck it, she thought pulling down the zipper then pulling on the front bodice to pop the hook off. She inspected the damage and saw it wasn’t that bad, even she could fix it with her limited sewing skills. She dropped the dress on a chair in the bedroom. She removed the borrowed earrings and bracelet, carefully placing them back in their boxes, then rummaged through Sebastian’s stuff to find one of his shirts to wear and grabbed her pajama bottoms. She looked in the bathroom mirror at the make-up she had on one more time, then washed her face until it was all gone. She put on the clothes she had grabbed and finally felt like Brodie again. 

She took a couple of water bottles out of the mini fridge and put them on the side table next to Sebastian. She felt his forehead again, it was warm but much cooler than when he was in the car. She climbed into the bed next to him and took a deep breath. She could feel something brewing in the air. She knew, without a doubt, that Duncan was about to strike back. Sebastian rolled on his side and snuggled against her. She rubbed his head, playing with his hair. He said earlier he was going to grow it out a little, she smiled thinking about how adorable that was going to look. I’ll deal with you later Duncan, she said quietly in her head, Sebastian needs me. He whimpered as he moved closer to her putting his head on her shoulder. “I’ll take care of you daddy, it’s ok” she cooed to him. He reached out and felt around her upper chest to test if she was still wearing the collar “Good girl” he mumbled when he found it and fell asleep.


	84. On The Agenda

Sebastian woke up then wished he hadn’t. His whole body ached, his throat was on fire, and he was covered in sweat. Brodie wasn’t there but he could hear her talking in the other room. He tried to swallow and found out his throat was like sandpaper. He geared himself up to go get some water and found a note leaned against a bottle of water with two pills, on the table next to the bed.

Daddy,  
Take these and drink ALL this water.  
Love,  
Your Baby Doll  
XXOOXX

He smiled weakly, then did what the note instructed. The water made him feel good enough to sit up and not die. He heard Brodie laugh in the other room. He needed her. He made his body stand up and walk towards the bedroom door. He had to stop, placing his hand against the wall for a second, because he was dizzy. He couldn’t help but overhear her conversation, she was talking to Nina. 

Actually, they were FaceTiming.

“Come on B, how am I supposed to just bring it up casually? How did you tell Seb?”

“I don’t know, I was super drunk, I made him promise no sex until we talked. But we had just met so, I mean, it’s a little different. We hadn’t had sex yet.” She shrugged

“But then what did you say when you talked?”

“I stumbled around it like an idiot. I mean everyone I had been with I was with because they were in the lifestyle. I hadn’t had to explain it in…since you”

“so you were scared too?”

“Yeah, terrified. Thank god he had already figured it out”

“What would you have done if he was all ‘no way’ or did the David thing of like ‘you’re a sick freak, who enjoyed being banged by old guys’?”

“wow, thanks for bringing that up.” Brodie glared at her “fuck you, too”

“Sorry,” Nina winced “I’m sorry B, I’m freaking out here. You know how it is when you get off the road, you have this built up energy” she shook her hands rapidly in front of herself, Brodie nodded 

“Still, that was a low blow. You know that’s bullshit. I hate that whole ‘you only like it because you were abused as a kid’ thing.”

“I know, I know, I am sorry. I know it has nothing to do with it” Nina felt bad for bringing it up “I didn’t mean it that way, I just was trying to ask what would you have done if he reacted like David?”

“Well, apparently I would have stayed with him until I caught him fucking my assistant”

“Seriously B”

“Honestly? I probably would have fucked him a couple times and that would have been it. But Sebastian is… he’s like…meant for me. If he didn’t want to be in the lifestyle, we wouldn’t be where we are now because I couldn’t be in a vanilla relationship. But that’s me, Nina. Can you live vanilla? That’s what you have to figure out, but I have to say, if it wasn’t important to you and you didn’t feel the ‘L’ word happening you wouldn’t be so worried about her saying ‘no way’.”

“I guess, yeah. I’m not ready for the ‘L’ word because I’m afraid she won’t look at me the same if I tell her”

“I know because that’s how I felt with Sebastian. I probably wouldn’t have admitted it at the time but I had this pull towards him, like that feeling you get when you start to hear a song to write? If he would have said no, honestly, I would have been devastated.”

Nina looked up, worry settling across her face “We can’t both be that lucky, can we?”

“You know what, fuck it, why the fuck not? Sebastian said to me once that he and I had already paid all the bad, we were owed this. It’s not luck Nina, you deserve this.”

Nina smiled “so, do I just…Jesus, how do I even start it?”

“I don’t know, take her to a hardware store,” Nina shook her head no “porn shop, BDSM club? See how she reacts?”

“Ha ha ha” Nina rolled her eyes

“I think you should sit her down and just say it” Sebastian said leaning against the door jam with a raspy voice. Brodie jumped, how long had he been there? She wondered. She looked at Nina eyes wide.

“Oh, crap Seb, you sound like shit” Nina said stretching her neck like it would make the camera angle change so she could see him.

“Thanks Nina” he motioned for Brodie to come to him.

Brodie got up and went to help him walk over to sit down next to her. “Why are you out of bed?” she said concerned feeling his forehead, it was hot again. 

“I needed you” he croaked

“why didn’t you just yell for me?” he pointed to his throat “sit” she demanded

“Oh, you look like shit, too big man” he flipped her off “which for you is like mildly gorgeous instead of extraordinarily gorgeous” 

He frowned “why are you being nice? Am I dying? Because I feel like dying” he leaned on Brodie putting his head on her shoulder. She put her arm around him and rubbed his back. “Listen,” he got serious “just tell her what you want, she’s not a mind reader and neither are you” he said as he closed his eyes relaxing into Brodie’s touch “you deserve to be, and let me stress that this is making me feel even sicker saying it, you deserve to be satisfied…sexually” he winced “in the relationship too” Brodie held back a laugh

“What would you have said or done if Brodie asked you and you weren’t into it?”

He opened his eyes and lifted his head looking straight into the camera “Nina, I was into her and everything that went with her, even you, creeper. It only gets stronger the more we open up to each other” he put his head back down “Don’t settle. Go get your Sebastian” Brodie kissed the top of his head. 

“He means your ‘Susan’” Brodie explained

“No, I mean your Sebastian, we’re changing it” He said sniffling

“I don’t know if Susan is going to go for that” Brodie teased “It took her a long time to answer to a new name, then there’s the paperwork, we’ll put it on the agenda” He made an effort to grab the collar but ended up just weakly lifting his hand half way then dropping it heavily. 

Nina sighed “ok. I’ll do it tonight. Thanks. Both of you.”

“Wait, I want to know what happens before I die. Make sure you tell us” 

“You’re not dying, Sebastian.” Brodie assured him, she looked at Nina rolling her eyes “I thought Robert was dramatic when he was sick.” She pointed at Sebastian “I need to take care of him. I love you, walking dead over here loves you, and she loves you too. It’s gonna be ok” They said goodbye and Brodie closed her laptop.

“Sebastian? How much of our conversation did you hear?” she was hoping not much.

“Hmmm, enough” he sighed “Enough that as soon as I can stand without the room spinning, I’m going to kick the crap out of that piece of shit who married you” “Tell me what he said to you baby.” 

“Damn it” she was hoping he missed that part “It doesn’t matter, I don’t want to bring it up. You don’t feel good, we’ll talk about it another time” 

“I might be dying baby doll” he grabbed for the collar and this time he wrapped his hand around it “but I’m still daddy. I’m gonna ask you one more time. What did he say to you?”

“It was a long time ago, so these might not be his exact words” they were, she heard it like a recording in her head “I kinda brought up the idea with him”

“Why?” he interrupted She shrugged confused. He lifted his head to look at her “Why did you? Was it because you just wanted to explore it or did you…” he tried to say it without it dripping with jealousy “…want him…to be your daddy?” She realized this was about him needing to know if she secretly wanted him to be David.

“Jesus fucking Christ, NO. I told you, you are the only one, ever, EVER. There is no one else and if something happens with us, there won’t be another.” He put his head back down this time snuggling in closer. “I brought it up because, I don’t know, I was young and I had this ridiculous idea that even though we started out the way we did that we were now a loving couple. I blame ‘Pretty Woman’ even though that movie wasn’t even out yet, but you know what I mean.” He shook his head no “The idea of the damsel in distress, prince saving her, true love bullshit. Anyway, I was like all ‘I need to tell him everything and he will fall on his knees and love me’” She said it in a wistful voice “but you know Snow White wasn’t a former-child-prostitute-bisexual-sub.” She said sarcastically 

“No, I think that was Cinderella” he said 

“She’s my favorite princess, you know” he chuckled “I’m serious. I wanted to be Cinderella when I was a kid.” She rolled her eyes “I know, she’s way too girly for me. Anyway, that’s why I told him.” She was hoping that was enough so she stopped talking

“Ok, so what did he say?” Damn it, even sick he can be relentless she thought

“He said bisexuals were either drama queens just wanting attention or wanted to be gay and didn’t want to admit it” Sebastian scoffed and shook his head “and that anyone who would want to be a part of that ‘sick freakshow lifestyle’ was either an abuser or someone who had been abused and liked it. He said that, uh, I, if I was into it that meant that I could never claim that what happened when I was kid was anybody’s fault but mine.” She shook it off “But that’s bullshit. My therapist tells me all the time that ‘bisexuality is real’ and that ‘submission is a part of your sexual identity not a reaction to past trauma’” she quoted him using a deep voice

“and do you believe him?” he asked sitting up to look at her face

“Who? Dave or my Doctor?”

“Doctor”

“Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes I struggle with it. For some weird reason though, since April-ish I believe it more than not.” He nodded and smiled “So now you tell me something,” because he felt so strongly about making sure he was the only one for her. She was curious, how many others did he collar before her? “how many have you been daddy, or sir, or whatever, to?” Maybe he felt that she secretly wanted him to be David because he secretly wanted her to be someone. “How many of these?” she tapped the necklace. He winced at the question. Holy shit, she thought, there was someone else.

He rubbed his head with his hand messing up his hair even more than it was already. He closed his lips tight and furrowed his brow. “Zero, none” she looked at him suspiciously “not ever, not anybody” She scooted away from him so that she could turn and face him

“Not anybody?” he shook his head no “you’ve never had a sub?” He shook no “Have you ever been a sub?”

“No.” she closed her eyes tightly then slowly opened them wide “I mean, I’ve kinda messed around a little with others but never, I mean I have always been wanting to and all but never had anyone who… I read a lot about it…” she was slowly smiling wider and wider as he went on “…I think that’s probably why I connected so much with your music, because I was picking up on those vibes” He was blushing and she was smiling and shaking her head in disbelief “Of like wanting to but not having anyone I trusted enough” he sniffled and cleared his throat

“wow. I want to be mad that you didn’t tell me. I mean we could have started out different, but I…Fuck me, you are really good at it. I would have never known.” She scratched her head “you know this is like a first for me too. Because you know other times it was like sexual dominance but not like this vulnerable thing. You know, like, yeah, yeah pain/pleasure mindless control, blah, blah, blah, thing.”

“Not even with Nina?” He wasn’t even remotely jealous of her relationship with Nina anymore

“God no. Nina and I are like, she tells me no, I tell her to fuck off, she bites me, I bite her harder, she uses 2 fingers, I use 4…sorry.” She stopped when he raised his eyebrows in surprise “I just mean we have to one up each other constantly, or we just both want to cuddle and be taken care of. We’re not good at this dynamic. She is the best woman I’ve ever been with, we have really amazeballs sex, but a Dom/sub relationship just doesn’t work.” He repeated ‘amazeballs sex’ under his breath “You have balls the size of New York, dude, you just came out of the gate swinging.”

“Well it took me a long time to find you. I’m 37, I’ve been planning for a long time.” He shrugged

“The confidence, though”

“That’s why I’m the daddy” he tugged on the collar and winked “I told you, you are mine. I knew it right away, as soon as I grabbed your hand, that I needed to protect you.” He stretched wincing because he was still achy “I also knew you were going to fight me every step of the way, which normally annoys me, but with you it’s an opportunity”

“to learn patience?” she joked. He slowly shook his head

“for punishment” she swallowed hard and then mentally cursed whoever gave him this plague that stopped her from acting on the feeling that statement gave her.

“Are you hungry?” he shrugged “Thirsty?” he nodded yes “you want to go lie down?” he nodded again “Did you drink all the water?” again he nodded she felt his forehead it was still very warm he needed sleep. He was leaving for London that night, normally she would be feeling sad but she was going with him this time. She worried about him traveling when he was so sick. “Come on Daddy, I need you in bed”

“God fucking damn it” he dropped his chin to his chest

“sorry that’s not what I meant” she chuckled “Hard-on?”

“Yeah! How? I’m dying” she rolled her eyes and helped him up, letting him lean on her as she led him to the bedroom “Dead man walking! Dead man walking!” she called out. She got him to the bed and he laid down curling up on his side.

“I need you” he stretched out his arm opening and closing his hand “Brooooooooddddddiiieeee” he whined “Please” 

“What do you need me to do?” she moved her hand so he could grab it. He pulled on her arm.

“I need you to hold me” he looked at her with the cutest pouty face she had ever seen. She climbed in the bed next to him. He immediately snuggled up to her, she turned on her side to face him and wrapped her arms around him as he moved closer. “Oh, thank you” he sighed. She held on to him thinking about all they had talked over, how Nina was where she was not that long ago and how far away it seemed from where they were now, and the nagging feeling that Duncan was near, not physically but he was coming for her she knew it, and if she knew her brother at all, it was going to be a fresh new hell.


	85. Go For The Oscar, Bitch

She had to give it to him, Duncan had really outdone himself with this one. She also had to admit the initial shock had put her in a tailspin. She hadn’t seen the woman’s face since she was 16 years old. Honestly, Brodie had assumed she was dead because she didn’t try to come after her for money. He actually let that woman around his son? Ellie actually let that woman around her son? Her immediate thoughts went right back to default. Well of course they would let anyone be around Joseph over you. You’re nothing but a walking disaster, a complete piece of garbage, fuck up, useless, whore. She dropped her chin to her chest and closed her eyes tight.

Sebastian reached over and closed the laptop “Look at me” he demanded. She opened her eyes and looked up at him through her lashes her head still bowed. “Look. At. Me.” She tipped her chin up. “Who do you belong to?” 

“Daddy” she said quietly

“and who’s your daddy?”

“You are Sebastian”

“So, who’s opinions count the most?”

“yours”

“AND?”  
“mine” he kissed her forehead “that’s my good girl. We know the truth, fuck them” she took a deep breath in and sat up straighter. She knew this was coming, she didn’t expect to see her “mother”, but she knew he would fight back. She smiled at Sebastian, she had the advantage. Duncan was fighting the old Brodie, the one before Sebastian, he had no idea what he was up against now. “That’s my scary, wicked, badass baby doll” he said when her smile went from weak to sinister. “kick the shit out of him”.

The interview with her brother and “mother” had aired as they were on their way to London. Sebastian’s fever had finally broken after his nap, although he was still ‘dying’ according to him. Brodie enjoyed fussing over him even if he was being a giant baby about it. She made sure he ate, took medicine, and drank plenty of fluids. She bathed him and helped him pack. She felt useful, it was an odd feeling for her but a good one. Sebastian enjoyed the attention, but he loved the giant smile on her face when he let her whirr around him, without protesting, as she nursed him back from the brink of death by man-flu. 

When they arrived at the airport, Terri and Chloe in tow, there were a few camera’s hanging around looking for well-known faces from the film festival. They did their best to just walk and not look up. Sebastian had way more experience with it and told Brodie to just follow Chloe’s footsteps. They made it thru security then Chloe led them to a VIP waiting area. Brodie whispered to Terri “What the fuck is this?”

Terri rolled her eyes “The place that Olivia and I tried to talk you into going the other day” Brodie looked at her confused “The ‘rock star asshole room’”  
“OOoooohhhhh. Dang it’s nice in here” she looked at Terri surprised

“Yeah, no shit. We told you” Terri shook her head. “You know, you are allowed to enjoy the perks of your hard work without thinking of yourself as an asshole”

“Is this from the therapist I added to your benefits package?” Brodie said sarcastically 

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, she’s doubling the price since I have to work with you” Terri stuck her tongue out at her. 

“It’s too fancy, I feel like an imposter” she whispered to Sebastian as they stood at the window watching planes take off and land.

“Stop doll, you are fancy.” She scrunched up her face “I bet there is not one person in here that has a Grammy, wait, 4 Grammy’s” he held up 4 fingers to her face. She blushed “We are definitely gonna work on your ability to brag” She flipped him off “Careful, I’ll add it to the list”

“What list?” 

“the list of things that you need to be punished for since we’ve had time to play last”

“you have a list?” he nodded “can I see it?” he shook his head no “Please?” 

“Don’t worry baby doll, we’ll get to it soon.” He had his hand on her lower back, he slid it down into her pants pocket and pinched her right butt cheek, hard. She sucked in a quick sharp breath; he softly kissed her cheek in contrast. “soon” he whispered in her ear. She knew he was still sick and that they were in the middle of the Toronto airport, but she wished he would take her right there. Brodie was pretty sure he felt the same by the way he then slid his hand around her hip and pressed her side against him. His phone signaled a text, he looked at it and turned the screen to her, it was from Nina

N- texting u since ur on ur deathbed, show B  
S- she’s here, what’s up?  
N- had the talk  
Brodie and Sebastian looked at each other waiting for more information  
S- AND?????  
N- (smiley face emoji)  
S- that’s it? That’s all we get?  
N- yep  
S- this is Brodie, Bitch! You better tell me everything later!!  
N- (thumbs up emoji)

“She’s a pain in my ass” Brodie sighed frowning “Why do I love her so much?”

“Amazeballs sex?” he shrugged

“Is this going to be a thing? Because I am sorry I said it, if it’s gonna be a thing”

“Nope” then he whispered in her ear “although if you want to describe it to me in detail, I’d be ok with it”

“we tried to show you in person, but you weren’t interested” she teased “you could have been a daddy for two” she held her palms up

“you’d really be ok with that?” 

“No, not anymore. You are all mine now” she put her arms around his middle “I don’t wanna share”

“Good, because I don’t want to either” he buried his face in her hair kissing the top of her head “I don’t want anyone else, ever” 

Brodie was impressed that this plane had double cubbies “we get to be together in the same cubby the whole way?” she bounced up and down excited. Sebastian laughed 

“Yes, doll. You are incredibly cute when you do that” he touched the tip of her nose “I like that you call them ‘cubbies’, too”

“Nina came up with it for our 4,000-mile booty call, but we had to cuddle in a single one.” She pointed to each seat “do you want the window?”

“No, you can have the window” he said “I’m probably gonna sleep anyway” She was looking at him, biting her bottom lip “what?”

“Nothing, I just realized that you are going back to work and I don’t have to say goodbye, or wait for you to let me know you got there ok. Stupid, I know, but I just, I’m happy”

“come here” he embraced her tightly “I’m happy too. I love you Brodie”

“I love you too, Sebby” 

It was about an hour or two into the flight that she started getting messages, e-mails, alerts. She got a sick feeling in her stomach. Sebastian was asleep next to her. She bounced her knee up and down chewing on the inside of her bottom lip. She paused the movie she was watching, then looked at the messages first, she read Robert’s

RDJ- Darling, rules are you don’t watch this alone. I’m gonna need you to promise me. (There was a link attached)  
B- I promise

She gently shook Sebastian “Hey, wake up” He opened his eyes and yawned “wha” he mumbled. “I promised Robert I wouldn’t watch it alone.”

“watch what?” he rubbed his hands over his face trying to wake up

“I’m not sure. Whatever this is” she pointed to the link. Sebastian squinted his eyes to read the message

“Shit, ok. Click it” he said suddenly more awake. She handed him one of the air pods and clicked the link. 

It was a clip from a gossip entertainment show, the host was saying “Rock icon Brodie Lee stunned us all with her Oprah interview a few weeks ago” She rolled her eyes at ‘icon’ “now her family is speaking out disputing the claims that she was an abused child” What the? Family? “we have the exclusive interview with her brother Duncan who claims she not only made the story up but refuses to help her ailing mother.” 

“He wouldn’t dare…” she whispered as the visual changed to footage of Duncan handing Joseph to an older version of the woman who called herself Brodie’s mother sitting up in a hospital bed. 

Sebastian looked at her “Who is that…is that…holy shit!” he threw his hand up “Wow, he must feel really threatened” he reasoned

The clip went on to Duncan saying he didn’t know why his sister would make up such a hurtful story, but he still loved her and just wanted her to know that they would always accept her apology. He alluded to Sebastian being behind the sudden change in her by saying it was the people she was recently surrounding herself with. Sebastian scoffed at that statement. Then he dropped in that she was unstable having a substance abuse problem, mental illness, and ‘depraved lifestyle’. This made Brodie rub her eyes with her fingers.

Terri popped her head over the privacy door, saw Brodie was already watching it and looked at Sebastian grimacing. He nodded that he had it handled and she went back to her seat. The interview changed to Brodie’s mother, the first sound of her voice that hit Brodie’s ear made her flinch. Sebastian held her hand and felt it tremble as the woman expressed how much she missed her daughter, how she would love her no matter how nasty she had become, and her pain at having to deal with Brodie’s self-destructing behavior for many years. “I just want my daughter, my Brodie, the real Brodie back” she said with tears welling up in her eyes.

“Well, that had to hurt for her to say” Brodie deadpanned. “go for the Oscar, bitch.” The visual was of Duncan playing with his son while he was held by their ‘mother’ with the narration being a quote from Duncan “I just want her to know that her family misses her, her brother, her mother, and her nephew who hasn’t had the chance to even meet his aunt yet, we all just want her to get the help she needs.” This is where she dropped her chin to her chest and Sebastian closed the laptop. 

Brodie sat staring out the plane window. There wasn’t much to see in the dark, just the flickering lights of the plane and occasionally the lights of the landmass below. She thought it was a small possibility that they would go with the ‘she made it up’ angle, good thing she had proof. The originals were in a safe in Georgeta’s apartment, copies were in the hands of her law team. They had assured her it was enough for a court of law, so at least there was that. Duncan knew that the idea she would be branded a liar and an asshole would be the real damage to her, with an extra kick of weird kink, mental illness and surprise, your long-lost abusive mother!

Six months ago, this would have worked. She would have caved eventually because she was so lonely. She had no one then. Sure, there was Robert but he belonged to Susan. Nina of course, but as much as they loved each other, she wasn’t hers. She was terrified that she wouldn’t ever find anyone that belonged to her. She looked over at Sebastian, asleep. Brodie was never so happy to be so dead wrong. It didn’t matter as long as he still loved her, she would give up every single thing she had to have him. 

When they arrived at Heathrow Brodie turned her phone on. She had shutdown all her devices after watching the interview. She used the 4-5 hours of silence to center herself. She looked at the list of messages, missed calls, and e-mails. She was about to check Nina’s first but noticed she missed a call from Georgeta and checked her voice mail. “My fetiţă, my Brodie. That awful woman, you are not her Brodie, you are MY Brodie! Sebastian and I are your family not those people. Ok, you call me.” She had stopped walking trying not to burst into tears. When Sebastian turned to see what was wrong, she gave him the phone to listen to his mom’s message. 

He chuckled “ok you call her” he said mimicking her accent. He handed her the phone and put his arm around her shoulders. “Come on sis, let’s find a car” she gave him a side eyed glare. 

Sick or not, Sebastian was needed at work. He claimed he was feeling much better, so Brodie decided to stay at the hotel and sleep or try to anyway. Mostly she was staring at the ceiling thinking about how she should be sleeping, and if she fell asleep right now, she would have this many hours before Sebastian got back. That was it, she couldn’t stand it, she got up. She looked out the window at the city. She had been to London before, on tour of course, which meant she didn’t really see much of it. She checked the time; he wouldn’t be back for hours. Fuck it, she thought, I’m gonna go explore a little on my own. She got dressed, sent him a quick text that she was going out, and hit the London streets with no agenda but to be a tourist.

She found a little shop, clearly meant to draw in tourists, not far from the hotel. She looked through the assortment of maps and guides. She settled on a guidebook that she liked, looked at the tiny replicas of famous buildings, t-shirts and hats, all the typical vacation trinkets and thought she’d be back for those later. She talked to the shop keeper, a nice woman around her age named Tia, about a good place to get coffee around the area. They ended up talking for awhile about the city and the best places to see and Tia directed her to a great little café just around the corner. She easily found it and settled in at a small table to drink coffee and make a game plan. 

After going through the guide, making notes and marking pages of ‘absolutely have to see places’, Brodie sat back and looked around. She held her coffee cup in both hands and just sat quietly observing. She couldn’t remember the last time she was just an observer, calm, peaceful, happy. She glanced at her phone with all the messages asking if she was ok, if she needed anything, to please contact them if she was feeling lonely. She touched the orchid Sebastian had put back around her neck before they left Toronto. She was fine, she had everything she needed, and she was definitely not lonely. She took a breath and picked up the phone. 

Brodie answered every message of support she had received. She made herself call it that, support, not pity. She had always felt guilty in the past of these kind of messages, feeling like they were a chore for the sender, something she had burdened them with. She rarely answered them, in fact she hardly read them because she couldn’t accept the sentiment. Especially if the sentiment was praise. As she read and answered them all, she realized she had more friends than she thought. Some known to the world, some known to their own little world, but they were all equally special to her. 

One was from a young female producer from the Oprah interview, she had spoken to her while Sebastian was being interviewed, that was nice of her Brodie thought. She didn’t really know her that well but, oh, it hit her suddenly. She had told her she did the segment on the kids that said she helped them. That’s how they found out, that producer was one of Brodie’s foundlings. Wow, Oprah really does have eyes everywhere. She sent her a message back thanking her and then as a p.s. asked her who her 2 were. Something she did when she would meet someone who told her they had stayed at one of the houses. 

She stretched and realized she was really pretty fucking tired. She texted Sebastian

B- Found coffee and made a list of places I want to go   
B- First on the list = Bed  
S- lol. I get it. that’s always first on my list…  
S- you in bed  
B- (shock faced emoji)  
B- Excuse me sir! I am a lady!   
S- my apologies, Your Royal Highness in bed   
B- much better! Off to the royal bedchamber (crown emoji, bed emoji)  
S- Ok princess get some sleep see you soon  
B- I will daddy, love you  
S- love you too

She made her way back to the hotel. When she was in the room, she got undressed and collapsed into the bed. She took a deep breath, and before a thought could even begin to form in her head, she was sound asleep.


	86. Officially, Permanently, Mine.

Sebastian was worried. When Brodie had started reading old diaries and having flashbacks she started to spiral. He kept getting the image of finding her passed out cold, about to choke to death. What was going to happen after seeing, god he couldn’t even call that woman a ‘mother’. Her automatic flinch at the voice made her look like a young child again for a second, but then she seemed, ok actually. She seemed ok right before the last time too, he reminded himself. He was eager to get to the room and by the time the elevator doors opened he was tapping his foot nervously. 

He walked into the dark room and felt for a light switch. The room lit with a soft glow but no Brodie. He noticed there was a light showing under the bathroom door, he listened there for a second but heard silence. Fuck privacy, he thought and pushed open the door.

“Fucking hell!” she jumped “you scared the crap out of me! Christ!” She was in the bathtub wearing headphones. “close the door, you’re letting in the cold air” 

He sighed relieved “sorry, I panicked when I couldn’t find you” he confessed “are you ok?”

“with the exception of my heart beating 100 miles an hour, I’m fine.” She carefully pulled the headphones off her head and held them out to him “can you grab these please so I don’t drown them?” He took them and put them on the counter. “why did you panic? I told you I was coming back here”

“Yeah, well you said to sleep and the bed was empty and it was dark and quiet.” He sighed again “I was worried about you after the whole thing with your brother” he rubbed his hand over his face.

“I’m sorry Sebastian. I should have thought of that. I’m ok.” She said seriously “thank you for worrying about me, but I’m also sorry about you having to worry about me” He looked at her sitting in the tub, bubbles up to her arm pits. He grabbed a towel and unfolded it holding it up for her

“Come on, get outta there. Bath time over” she pulled the plug on the drain and got up wiping the bubbles off as much as she could. She stepped out and turned her back to him so he could wrap the towel around her “time to play with daddy” he said over her shoulder. She felt a heat spread through her entire body. He dried her off starting with her back, from her shoulders down to her upper thighs. “turn” she turned around to face him “arms up” she put her arms up over her head and watched his face as he dried her front half off, kneeling to dry her legs. When he stood up, he threw the towel behind her “arms down”. She put her arms down. He grabbed her hand in his and walked her out to the bedroom. 

He led her to the side of the bed. “wait” he grabbed a pillow and put it on the floor at her feet “kneel” she kneeled down on the pillow, he bent down and kissed her tipping her chin up with his fingers “Don’t move, baby” he reached behind her neck and took off the orchid necklace putting it in his pocket. She stayed still on her knees, arms straight at her sides, listening to his movement behind her. She felt him at her back “close your eyes” she closed them. He stepped closer, straddling her legs, until she could feel him brush against her back as he moved. He put his hands in front of her and suddenly she felt him putting a collar around her neck. It was a little cold at first and she breathed in and smelled the unmistakable smell of leather. She tried hard to stay still and keep her eyes closed. He gently pushed her head over to one side so he could fasten the buckle. “nod yes when it’s tight enough” he leaned in “not too tight understand?” she nodded yes. She felt him slowly pull the tab, she nodded when it was snug but she estimated she could still put a finger between it and her neck. He buckled it. She desperately wanted to look at it, touch it, jump in his arms and thank him, but she didn’t move. 

She felt him move in front of her so she tried hard to relax her face. He tipped her chin up and ran his fingers down her throat hooking his middle finger in the O-ring when he got to the collar. “open your eyes” she did he was looking down at her smiling one eyebrow raised over his left eye then he switched and raised one eyebrow over his right eye. She had no idea he could do that; it was kinda hot. He pulled on the ring “stand up” she stood up. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around pushing her towards the mirror. He positioned her right in front of it. “do you like it?” she looked at it smiling moving her head from side to side to get a good view. It was a black leather band about an inch and half wide, with a silver O-ring mounted in the middle. She shook her head yes. He wrapped his arms around her stomach from behind and placed his chin on her shoulder “I wanted to give it to you the other day but I got sick” she exhaled closing her eyes relaxing into his embrace. 

“thank you, daddy.” She whispered 

“You’re welcome Your Highness” he kissed her shoulder

“Princess Brodie” she shrugged considering it. He looked her in the eye through the mirror.

“No, not a princess, my queen” he kissed her cheek. She smiled wide blushing “wait, wait, what is this?” he said turning her around to face him “You’re not fighting me on this? You are letting me say something nice to you?” He teased. she chuckled “Oh, I like this.” He put his hands on either side of her face and touched his nose to hers “Wait let me see, ummmm, you are so fucking beautiful” she scrunched up her face “ah, ah,” he waited she took a deep breath and relaxed her face “Holy shit! Ok wait, here’s one. You are a musical icon” she had to close her eyes to not roll them, he was still holding on to her face “WOW! Impressive. Ok here’s the big one. You, my baby doll, are very, very, smart” she shook her head no and looked down. “yes, you are” he kissed her “super smart” he kissed her again. 

“ahhhhh” she pulled away from him “that’s enough! Sputnik!” he grabbed the ring before she could go far. “I’m not smart, I didn’t even finish school and when I was there, I had awful grades” he put his arms around her waist

“Ok baby, that’s enough for now. I’m proud of you. That was 3 whole compliments” he scooped her up “plus you were a good girl today letting me know where you were.” She nodded yes. “what else did you do today?” he sat down with her across his lap

“Um, I made a list of places I want to see here and I read all the messages of support from people and I answered them all back” he sat back and looked at her “I made myself call them support instead of pity” she shrugged “then I came back here and went to sleep and slept until like 30 minutes before you got back and I got in the tub and listened to music”

He smiled at her “Brodie I’m so proud of you. Really.” He held his arms out “come here doll” she turned to staddle him “That is so awesome. What brought this all on?”

“You. Now stop being nice I need a break, bite me or pinch me or something before I lose it. Come on daddy, be mean to me.”

“Are you trying to tell me what you need?” she shook her head no “because this here,” he hooked his finger into the ring giving it a sharp tug “means I tell you, not the other way around.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry” he didn’t look convinced; she kissed his cheek. “You’re the best daddy ever.

He smiled “good girl, kneel here” he pointed to the floor in front of him she did as he asked. “Look at me, don’t stop looking at me.” He leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees “Now, say ‘daddy, I am very smart’” she closed her eyes and mouth tight. He flicked her left nipple “I said, don’t stop looking at me” he waited a second then pinched it “Yes daddy, sorry daddy” the pain felt so good she swallowed hard. “say it” she closed her eyes again, fuck. He slapped her right butt cheek this time, hard “sorry daddy” she willed herself not to close her eyes again. “say it, now” “daddy…” she paused, smack, right cheek again “Daddy, I am smart” he grabbed her chin hard “it’s ‘daddy, I am VERY smart” he let go “again” “Daddy, I am very smart” she closed her eyes. mother fucker, she thought. A slap to the left butt cheek, she let out a slow breath. If he didn’t touch her soon, she was going to die from the need. She had to get this right so he would touch her, she took a deep breath looked him square in the eye and said clearly “Daddy, I am very smart” he smiled lifting one side of his mouth “Good girl, that’s my smart girl” “you want me to touch you, baby?” she nodded her head “what?”

“Yes, daddy please” she said still looking him in the eye.

“Say it” he demanded “say it nice and I will touch you”

“Daddy, I am very smart” her mind was screaming for him to touch her.

“Yes, you are baby doll” he stood up, he was still fully clothed and his zipper was eye level to her. She contemplated what it would cost her to just undo his pants and put his dick in her mouth. It would be totally worth it, she concluded, but she wanted to be good. She had a hard time admitting that she was happy when he did and said nice things to her. She almost liked herself now and she loved him more than she knew was possible.

He was looking down at her, she was staring at his dick and licking her bottom lip. He could feel how much she wanted to, and there was no question he wanted it. She looked up and he nodded once. Brodie unzipped his pants slowly, he undid the button, she pulled them down with his boxers to his knees. She opened her mouth and put his dick all the way in. It was so quick and intense he grabbed her shoulders digging his fingers in she grabbed his hips and pulled him closer. When he came, grabbing the back of her head, he moaned “Oh fuck, Brodie”. He tried hard to catch his breath. She stayed still while he steadied himself. She swallowed involuntarily “Jesus, baby do that again” he begged she swallowed hard on purpose “fuck, FUCK” he yelled. “What the hell was that?” she took him out of her mouth and pushed his hips down into the chair. He collapsed back. 

“Orgasm” she said simply. She stayed kneeling, she wanted to climb up in his lap but she felt the collar around her neck and didn’t move. She watched him, slumped in the chair, eyes closed, breathing hard. Eventually, his breath steadied and he opened his eyes. He looked at her kneeling, perfectly still, looking at him. He raised his eyebrows once “Daddy, I am very smart” He was pleased, she could tell by his smile. She loved that they were becoming so close that they read each other’s facial expressions, they had an almost psychic bond in knowing what the other was feeling now. 

“Good girl. Stand up” she rocked back and stood he noticed the red circles on the lower part of her knees from kneeling on the hard floor. “Aw, poor baby doll. You ok? Do your knees hurt?” she shrugged “you have to tell me yes or no so I know if you need something” he said standing up himself. He pulled his pants back on leaving them unbuttoned. 

“A little” she shrugged one shoulder. He pointed to the chair he had just stood up from, she sat. he kneeled on one knee and kissed the red circle on her left leg then kissed the circle on her right leg. He put his hands on either of her knees and pulled them apart wide and towards him so she was slouched the way he had just been. “my turn” he said wiggling his eyebrows. He kissed the inside of her right thigh, then bit it lightly, he moved to her left thigh and did the same. He rubbed his palms from her knees along her thighs to her hips then he kissed her clit and lightly bit it. She drew in a sharp breath. He used his tongue as he slid his palms up her sides and around to grab both breasts, they stayed there for minute then he slid them down her abdomen. His left hand stayed on her stomach slowly rubbing across it, he used his right hand to caress her opening then put two of his fingers inside her as his mouth sucked on her clit. The orgasm hit her so fast and hard she heard a sound come out of her mouth she had never heard before. He didn’t break the suction until she was completely limp. 

“ok” she panted “changed my mind” she took a deep breath “that was amazeballs sex” he removed his fingers slowly and kissed her stomach right below her bellybutton. He pulled on the ring so that she sat up.

“Say it one more time baby doll” she looked him in the eye “Daddy, I’m the smartest fucking person you’ve ever met” he laughed and nodded “also the hungriest, I’m fucking starving” 

He let go of the ring and stood up, offering her his hand to help her “whatever my queen wants, she gets. Quick shower and then we’ll go get dinner”

She kissed his cheek “Yes daddy, please” she turned to get in the shower he smacked her left butt cheek playfully. “Yipe!” she squeaked 

“Wait!” she stopped “Let me take this off so it doesn’t get wet” she stood tall so he could unbuckle the collar.

“Aw, I don’t wanna take it off” she frowned. He put the orchid back on her. “thank you” he kissed her cheek. She turned to face him “I…I don’t want to make more out of it than you mean by it, but I…” she exhaled and shook her head “I just want to tell you that it really means a lot to me that, you know, you like… claimed…me” she waved her hands “Like officially, but like, I’m not saying it’s like permanent or anything, I mean you might, like, not think it’s that. You know, I’m just gonna shut up and go take a shower”

“Stop” she was turning to go into the bathroom “I’m saying it’s ‘like permanent’” he said seriously “and ‘like official’” she narrowed her eyes at him mocking her “Your California accent comes out when you’re nervous” she scrunched up her face “It’s really fucking adorable. Brodie, I love you, you are mine. Officially, permanently, mine.” She smiled and kissed his cheek.

She turned to take a shower as her stomach growled, he followed undressing as he walked. “The California accent may be “adorable”” she made air quotes with her fingers. “But if the Jersey accent comes out you might want to duck and cover” 

“pft, Jersey don’t scare me none sweetie” he said in a thick New York state accent “let’s hear it”

“Who you callin’ sweetie, asshole?” she said with a New Jersey accent “hear this” she flipped him off with both hands. He leaned back, his mouth and eyes opened wide.

“Hey, hey! Back it down honey, no need to get angry.” He held his hands up in defense. She put her face close to his.

“You have no idea what angry is, ‘honey’. I’ll rip your balls off and eat them for lunch.”

He grabbed between his legs “Come and get it, beautiful” They both burst out laughing. He pulled her in for a hug and kissed her on the forehead “Ok, I was a little scared. Just for a second” he laughed “hold me, don’t be the mean lady anymore” she hugged him back. His stomach growled “Ok, shower, before we both pass out from low blood sugar”

When they got back from dinner, Brodie’s phone went off. She looked to see it was Charles wanting to Facetime. She turned it to Sebastian who held up his palms. 

“Hey Charles! What’s up?” she answered waving

“Hey Brodie. How ya doin’?” Charles waved back 

“I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m good. Listen I wanted to ask you, since you’re going to Ethan and Mina’s wedding, and Seb will be busy as a groomsman most of the time, if you would be my plus one for all the non-wedding party stuff” 

“Me?” she was completely shocked “Did Sebastian make you ask me?” she gave him a side-eyed glare.

“NO!” Sebastian said from the other side of the room at the same time Charles said “Not at all, I didn’t even ask him if it was ok yet, I wanted to see if it was cool with you first”

“I mean, are you sure?” She asked him shyly, Sebastian was shaking his head no with an angry expression on his face

“Look it will be fun, while the wedding party have to do all the wedding activities you and me will have a blast. I’m a good dancer!” 

“Actually, that does sound fun” she waved Sebastian off as he was trying to grab the phone

“he mad?” Charles joked. Brodie held up her thumb and pointer fingers an inch apart “HEY! SEB!” Charles called out

Sebastian put his face next to Brodie’s “WHAT?” he yelled and Brodie winced

“I’m gonna ask Brodie to be my plus one and maybe get a chance to charm her away from you.” 

“No, you’re not. Back off my woman”

“Sorry Seb, too late. Brodie?” 

“I mean I think it will be fun, so sure” she shrugged “what?” she said to Sebastian as he stared gaping at her “I don’t know most of the people so this way I don’t have to do it all alone”

“Exactly. Come on Seb would you rather her be alone or have me keep her safe?” Sebastian sighed “Ok sweetie, now all I gotta know is if you want two queen beds or one king bed in the room?” Charles teased

“Well, I’m a cuddler, so one king” she winked

Sebastian took the phone from her hand “Alright that’s enough!” Then quietly “Thanks man”

“Hey, I got you” They hung up

“You’re a cuddler?” she threw her hands up “A cuddler?” she started to laugh “Really?” he was slowly coming towards her as she backed up laughing “I show you how to cuddle” he lunged forward and grabbed her at the waist throwing her over his shoulder as she squealed.


	87. Two Words And A Phone Number

Brodie sat curled up looking out the hotel window watching the city wake up. Sebastian had an ‘early call’ which meant he had to be at work before any other normal human being should be awake. She smiled thinking of how she woke up safe in his arms, his blue-grey eyes opening slowly to hers. He was so warm and comfortable. They were going out tonight with a few of his friends, but today she was dragging Terri around the city as tourists. She was excited, she had been so many places in her life touring the world but could really only recall hotels and concert halls in each place. She rarely got the chance to explore where she was for even a couple of hours, now she had a few days. 

She finished her coffee and got ready to hit the streets. She told Terri this was ‘museum day’ and they were going to South Kensington, she had a vague idea how to get there but knew Terri would figure it out when she came. She should have known that Terri had already had it worked out perfectly.

“Hey, how was your day off?” Brodie asked as she opened the door and hugged Terri

“Oh, it was good! I just slept and ate and watched weird BBC shows. We have a little business before we go.” She held up her laptop, Brodie scrunched up her face “If we take care of it now, we don’t have a crap ton later” 

Brodie repeated under her breath “If we take care of it now, we don’t have a crap ton later” sarcastically. 

“ok, let’s see” Terri sat at the desk ignoring her “You have a few phone calls, there’s a Brody Dalle…”

“Shit! Really? Gimme!” Brodie was opening and closing her hands “I love her! What does she want?”

“Uhhh… no message here, just to call her” She showed Brodie the e-mail, she immediately picked up the phone and called the number. It wasn’t until it was ringing that she thought about time zones.

“Hello?” she sounded awake  
“Brody? This is Brodie”  
“Oh fuck, dude! How are you?”  
“I’m good, how are you?”  
“Well, I’m fucking awesome right now! Thank you for calling me back!”  
“No worries, I love you. The Distillers and Spinerette and your solo shit, fucking awesome!”  
“Oh my god, You’re fucking awesome! You’re the reason I started playing guitar”  
“Shut up!”  
“No seriously, dude. My daughter loves you, too.”  
“Wow, thank you. That’s like the greatest compliment.” She said sincerely  
“No really, you’re the shit. I called for like two reasons”  
“What’s up?”  
“Ok so like, this indie magazine wants to do this influences thing and I wanted to have you, but I wanted to like talk to you first to see if you would be down.”  
“What’s it, like, an interview?”  
“Yeah, and a photo shoot together, if you can do it”  
“Uh, yeah sure. I would love an excuse to get together”  
“Right? So, here’s my second reason for calling, I heard you might be in the UK right now?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Dude we’re touring the US and I was hoping I could get you out for a gig”  
“Oh man, I’m booked until like October…” she looked at Terri who mouthed ‘21st’ “21st, when are you out ‘til?”  
“How about…” she could hear her talking to someone “the 22, 23, or 24?”  
“Uh, let’s do 22nd, where?” Terri nodded making a note in the calendar  
“Uh, that’s San Francisco.”  
“Perfect! Love San Francisco!”  
“Oh my god, thanks so much! I can’t wait dude. I’ll go ahead and let them know you’re my influence and let them contact you”  
“Yeah, no worries. It’ll be like the Brodie’s show” she laughed  
“The Brody Bunch”   
“Fuck! That’s a good one! Listen I’m gonna be recording soon, would you be interested?”  
“Shut the fuck up”  
“No really, I’m doing this concept where it’s all new material but each one has a female guest like singer or something. I’d love to have you”  
“Name the place I’ll fucking be there”  
“Awesome! Hey this is my personal cell so call me here and let me know about the gig”  
“Thanks, I’ll be in touch”  
“Tell your daughter hi and that I think her mother kicks ass, I mean butt, or whatever”

“okay, that was amazing to listen to, you two are like twins or something. You never met?” Brodie shook her head no “Huh. Anyway, Olivia wants you to do a follow up with Robin Roberts after the brother, the thing with your brother, the thing”

“The interview with Duncan? You can say it. I’m actually ok about it”

“Oh ok, well, she wants you to do it asap”

“I’m not leaving Sebastian for a fucking 5 min interview”

“No Olivia said….” She looked at the message and read “you can go to a local studio there and do it, or you can skype from your hotel room” Brodie rolled her eyes

“Ok fine set it up” she rubbed her face with her hands “can we go now?”

“Wait, one more important one. Emily’s office sent a message about setting up a meeting with the Disney people to talk about the project they want to do, again you can skype in.” she read through the message “something about a woman who says she knows you?” Brodie raised one eyebrow “Kerri Coleman?” Brodie started to shake her head no but a small memory came up “she said her mom is Antonia Coleman?” Brodie turned pale as her memory kicked in.

“That’s…” she waved her hand around “That’s my neighbor from when I was a kid” she grabbed the orchid charm “the one who used to feed me and give me comic books” she frowned “I have no idea if this is for real or if Duncan is fucking with me”

“well, I can tell them to get more information. Something only they would know, maybe?”

“Yeah, good idea. Uh, ask them ‘what was the song that she sang to me the night I knocked on her door?’. Duncan doesn’t know that”

They were finally on their way to South Kensington; Brodie pushed the conflict of Mrs. Coleman being real or Duncan to the back of her mind. Either way there was nothing she could do about it now. She sent a text to Sebastian letting him know where they were going and what had happened that morning. He didn’t know who Brody Dalle was so she sent him some songs to listen to, he texted back right before they entered the Natural History Museum.

S- I like it a lot. Plus, she’s the second cutest Brodie I’ve seen  
B- Look, how many times do I have to tell you? Just call Brody Jenner I’m sure he’ll like you.  
S- I don’t know he hasn’t responded to my DMs…  
B- Aw, well maybe it’s time to move on… How about that Penn Badgley? He’s cute  
S- Married  
B- (frowny face emoji) Well don’t give up, your Brodie is out there somewhere  
S- She better be at the museum like she said she was.  
She sent him a picture of her and Terri out front  
S- Be careful, have fun.  
S- Before you say it yes you can do both!!!  
B- Damn it! I was texting it as you sent that!  
S- (gif of woman reading a crystal ball)  
B- (Gif of Ron Burgandy saying ‘did you just read my mind?’)

Museums simultaneously interested and intimidated Brodie. She loved looking at all the exhibits, reading the placards, experiencing things in person, but she was afraid she might do it wrong, or someone would ask her a question and she would be clueless. Sebastian could make her say she was smart all he wanted, she wasn’t and she never would be, she thought. Looking through the Natural History, Science and V&A museums were a blast. Terri made them stop for lunch, it always fascinated her how Brodie needed to be reminded to eat half the time, but could clean out an entire buffet when she finally did. 

“Oh man, I was hungry. I was so focused on that last one, V&A the applied arts one, that I didn’t even notice” she had loved the costume exhibit especially the shoes “do we have time for the Portrait gallery?” she looked at her watch 

“Yeah, when do you have to meet Seb?” 

Brodie shrugged “We are meeting his friends later, but we didn’t make a time to meet up” She thought about it. Old Brodie would say fuck it I’ll just get back when I get back no one will notice anyway. This newer Brodie is trying to be a fucking adult, like a real functioning one. She texted him rolling her eyes, old Brodie was holding on tight.

B- Hey what time are you back? We want to go to the portrait gallery.  
S- looks like at least 3-4 hours.   
B- so like 5 the earliest? Cool plenty of time  
S- Be a good girl  
B- Yes daddy. I keep thinking about this morning  
S- me too

They had slow, sweet, passionate sex that morning. It was all caressing and I love you’s and vulnerable. It was the first time she had not been terrified in some way of the closeness. Every time she thought about it, her whole body yearned for him. As much as he had said he thought about being a Dom, she had thought about being able to have the occasional vanilla just because. When she told him that, sitting on the bathroom counter watching him brush his teeth, he smiled his mouth full of toothpaste. She had laughed as he tried to kiss her and she held him off with her forearms, he ended up kissing her cheek, leaving a wet toothpaste lip print. She pushed him out of the way to wash her face as he finished brushing. 

“whoa! Hey! yoo-hoo!” Terri was waving her hand in front of her face “I lost you there for a second” Brodie shook her head quickly “Do we have time?”

“Uh, yeah. He said at least 3-4 hours so we’re good.” She put her phone away “sorry”

Terri smiled “Don’t be. It’s really nice to see you so…I don’t know, you seem, at peace.”

Brodie laughed “Enjoy it now, you never know what fresh hell awaits!” she said dramatically “dun-dun-daaaaaahhh” she made a scary face holding her hands up as claws. Terri laughed

“Are you going to become a T-rex?” she joked as they got up to leave 

Brodie threw up one palm “No, dude I was being scary. Geesh” 

When they got back to the hotel Sebastian wasn’t there, so Terri and Brodie sat down to finish some business. Finalizing some interviews, a meeting, and now a magazine photo shoot. 

“Hey, I just got a forward of the reply from that woman who claims to be your neighbor” 

“Hey doll, sorry I’m so late” Sebastian walked in “Hey Terri, how was your guys’ day?” He kissed Brodie on the cheek “What? What happened? You are both looking at me weird” 

“Emily’s office got a message that the daughter of the lady who was my neighbor when I was a kid was trying to get in touch with me. I was worried it was Duncan fucking with me so Terri came up with the idea to ask them something Duncan wouldn’t know, and she just got the reply”

“No shit? What did you ask?” he leaned his hip on the desk

“The song she sang to me the night I ran away to her house. Only one other person knows it.” She looked at him. He nodded understanding. “open it” she took a deep breath

Terri got up “you do it” Brodie moved to the chair at the desk and opened the e-mail as Sebastian looked over her shoulder it was two words and a phone number “Bohemian Rhapsody” Brodie crossed her arms tightly across her chest, chewing on her bottom lip.

“it’s her” she said “should I call it?’ Sebastian nodded

“Uh, I don’t mean to be a downer but what if she’s working with Duncan?” Terri asked

“She wouldn’t, if it’s her, she wouldn’t. There is only one person in my entire life I trusted more than her” 

Terri said “Nina?” as Sebastian said “Robert” 

Brodie shook her head and looked at him like he had lost his mind “No, you Sebastian” she got up to grab her phone. “I’m gonna call” she put the number in her phone.

“I’m going to my room and relax, this one dragged me around for hours” Terri said to Sebastian pointing at Brodie. She grabbed her laptop “She’s says tomorrow is royal’s day” she smiled at him and nodded. He nodded back that they were ok.

“See ya’ later Terri-bear” Brodie called out and pressed ‘call’

“Hello?”

“Hi, um is this Kerri or Antonia?”

“This is Kerri”

“Hi, Kerri this is Brodie Lee. You were trying to get in touch with me?”

“Yes! Brodie! Hi. My mother and father were actually. I was helping them, I work in the industry, entertainment lawyer, so I know Emily. I don’t know if you remember me, we went to school together, but I was a year ahead.”

“Um, vaguely to be honest. There’s a lot of stuff that’s a bit of a blur there” Brodie chuckled

“I’m sure. I remember you well but my parents have always kept up with you and your career. They have all kinds of albums and magazine articles and VHS tapes” she laughed 

“Oh geez, that’s really, that’s really sweet.” Brodie said “I wasn’t sure if they even remembered me”

“Oh god, of course. They act like you’re a child they gave up for adoption or something” 

Brodie looked at Sebastian he was smiling, one tear fell down Brodie’s cheek. She steadied her voice “So, um, they wanted to talk to me? Do you know about what?”

“My mother saw the Oprah interview, she was so proud of you and she wanted to get in touch, but when she saw the one the other day with your mom and brother, she was adamant she needed to get a hold of you.” 

“well, this is my personal cell so you can pass it on to her and your dad. I would love to talk to them and thank them for all they did for me”

“My mother is going to be ecstatic! You have no idea!” 

“Thank you so much for helping them. I’m sorry I didn’t do it myself, I just…”

“No don’t be. We knew it had to be hard for you and you would be ready in your own time. I will give them the number and hopefully see you soon, ok?”

“Yeah, thanks again. Bye”

Brodie sat back in the chair shaking her head. “That was super odd. I had no idea they even remembered me. She seemed so much older than me, Kerri. She said what one year older?” Sebastian nodded. “well hopefully they won’t call while we’re at the pub”

“Yeah, it’s loud. Hey, hi. I missed you.” 

“I missed you too” she stood up and hugged him “How was work?”

“It was good. Jessica says hi” he put his forehead on hers “I had to focus because I kept thinking about you”

“Uh, every time I thought about you my whole body went all tingly” he raised his eyebrows 

“Maybe we should just stay in” he kissed her 

“No, I want to but your friends are waiting for you” she kissed his nose “besides, I need to meet them”

“Ugh, fine. We’ll go have fun with my friends.” He said it pouty “but then we come back here and have alone fun” he nuzzled her neck and she laughed


	88. Just Embrace The Dude

They didn’t have to worry about how long it would take to get a call back, the phone rang as they were getting ready to leave for the pub. Brodie froze letting Sebastian answer.

“Hello” he put it on speaker  
“Oh, yes, hello. May I please speak to Brodie Lee?” she recognized the voice from so many years ago. She instantly felt 10 years old.  
“Hi Mrs. Coleman, this is Brodie”  
“Brodie.” Mrs. Coleman said it like she had been searching for her for years and was relieved to finally find her “Little girl, I am so happy to hear your voice. We’ve been watching you over the years, we are so proud of you. I still picture you as the little 16-year-old girl from the last time I saw you.” Brodie laughed “It’s true. We see you on television and I know you are a grown up, but you will always be that little girl who liked all the fighting comic books” Brodie dropped her chin to her chest  
“Yes, I still like Captain America over Betty and Veronica. Because all the girls did was go to the malt shop, it was boring. But then Mr. Coleman would save me the Wonder Woman ones, I liked those”  
“Yes, but you still liked Captain America the most” It was Mr. Coleman “Remember, I used to hide them in the Wonder Woman books so Mrs Coleman didn’t yell at me?”  
“Oh yeah, I forgot that” next to her, Sebastian laughed  
“Oh, is that your man who was on Oprah?” Mrs. Coleman asked  
“Yes ma’am, that’s my Sebastian, I mean Sebastian” Brodie corrected herself quickly  
“Yes ma’am, I’m her Sebastian” he said  
“well, I’m very happy she has such a nice man with her.” He blushed  
“Thank you, ma’am”  
“I know you two are busy, we want you to know Brodie that what your brother and… ‘mother’” she spat out the word “are saying is not true. We know that, and we would love to see you little girl if you can find the time to visit us, we are in Florida now. We could maybe fill in some details for you if you want”  
“I would really love that” Brodie said “I want to thank you both, you did so much for me and I never even thanked you” she started to cry and couldn’t finish. Sebastian put his arm around her.  
“Stop that. You thanked us all the time and you did what I told you to do. We are so proud of you and we love you.”  
“Yes, we love you kid” said Mr. Coleman “you let us know when you can come see us”  
“I love you both, too” Brodie managed to squeak out  
“you come too Sebastian, and you take care of my little girl”  
“Yes ma’am, I will.” He ended the call and wrapped her up in an embrace “it’s ok, baby. We’ll go see them as soon as we can, huh?” she nodded yes trying to pull herself together

“Sorry, I just, I hadn’t heard their voices in a long time. I’m really happy, it’s just hard.” She took a deep breath. 

“No need to apologize, even I was tearing up and I never met them. What did she tell you to do?” 

“She told me that one day I would have a chance to help someone like she helped me and that was how I could thank her” she shrugged. He kissed her temple

“I love you” he said shaking his head “you amaze me”

“Ok, I’m ready to go drink now. Let me go fix my face and we can go” she kissed his cheek and walked into the bathroom.

Sebastian’s friends were meeting them at a pub in SoHo, Brodie teased him that she was moving to SoHo to live with ‘some dude’. He told her it was a different SoHo and rolled his eyes. They walked up to the door and found Paul waiting outside for them, well waiting for Sebastian anyway. He greeted him and gave him a hug, completely ignoring Brodie then saying he didn’t recognize her and didn’t know they were together. Odd since they were holding hands the whole time, but she shrugged it off, it was not a big deal. They went inside and found the group, Sebastian introduced her to Toby, who she had sort of met on facetime when she was in Paris, Taylor, who she never met, and she already knew Chace and his wife Rebecca. 

“I’m so glad there is another female here” Brodie said hugging Rebecca

“I said the same thing when Chace said you were coming” 

Toby stood up and hugged her “It’s nice to meet you in person. Come sit next to me and Taylor, we already know Seb, you already know Seb, we’ll get to know each other” he gave her a sly smile.

“Nice try Toby” Sebastian said putting his arm around her “she stays with me” 

“Fine” he said hugging Sebastian “sit next to me, I’ll sit next to Taylor and Seb can sit next to you” 

“I feel like this is a table read for that vampire, wait no, uh witch movie you guys were all in” Brodie joked. Rebecca laughed

“I just said that before you got here” Brodie air high fived her “The Covenant Part 2, coming soon”

“Right! The Covenant. My friend Nina always says its vampires. She gets it mixed up with Twilight.” 

“Is that why she always jokes about me being a vampire? I thought it was because I’m Romanian” Sebastian laughed

“Yeah, definitely. I think she thinks you’re Ukrainian or Russian” Brodie shook her head laughing 

“She sounds a little slow” Paul said Brodie glared at him “I’m kidding I met her in New York she was very nice” he said to the rest of the table. 

“I love Nina, she and I sang a duet at Seb’s birthday remember?” Rebecca said “She’s so much fun and very SMART” she emphasized the word looking at Paul. 

“Seb let’s go get us some drinks” Paul said patting him on the back

“The usual doll?” Brodie shook her head yes “anyone else?” they all raised their hands

“So, Brodie” Taylor started “You and Seb have been together for how long now?”

“Uh, since April, end of April so 5 months” she answered “I don’t mean to change the subject but it’s very cool that I’m talking to Gambit right now” he laughed “I’m sorry, what did you want to know?”

“I was just wondering about you and Seb. When I talked to him a couple weeks ago, he would not shut up about you.” 

“You’re the second person to tell me that. I don’t know if it’s good or bad” she put her palms up

“Well, I’ll be the third one to say it” Chace raised his hand, Rebecca nodded

“Fourth” Toby raised his. Brodie grimaced “it’s good. He’s happy” Toby reassured her

“My only concern is that you feel as strongly as he does” Taylor explained “I was pretty sure you did when I talked to Chace and Becs, but you know it’s nice to see it in person”

“I get it” she said “I love that all his friends are so concerned about him like that. It really makes me happy that you all look out for each other, I’m super fucking nervous now, but go ahead hit me with your questions” she joked

“I have one” Rebecca said “How the fuck do you keep that tiny red bustier from popping off? Because you have” she put her hands in front of her chest to indicate large breasts “That whole concert I was worried for you”

Brodie laughed “Double stick tape. A lot of it” Rebecca nodded “it also helps” she leaned in and whispered “hold up the girls” 

“Really? I will look into that.” Rebecca said intrigued “I know duct tape”

“Yeah, that works but I’ll send you the stuff my wardrobe people showed me. It’s like the tape that keeps rugs in place” she pointed to her side just under her arm “don’t just pull it off, ouch! You have to make sure you sweat a lot in it or take a hot shower before you do” 

“Damn, she stole my question” joked Toby “Now I gotta think of another one. Oh, ok I have one. When I go to New York I sometimes stay at Seb’s, when you move in will I still be able to crash there?”

“It’s fine with me.” She shrugged “do you sleep in the second bedroom or in Sebastian’s bed? And will I have to sleep on the couch if you do?”

“Seb’s bed, and no, but he will” he put his arm around the back of her chair and made kissing noises. She scrunched up her face and laughed turning her head away.

“That’s the appropriate response right there” Taylor said “horrified laughter. Ok I know. You brought up the movie we were in, which one of the four was your favorite when you saw it?” this was a long time rivalry they had.

“Wait, the four like main ones or the four of you here now? Because the one guy is missing”

“Yeah, it would be 5 all together” Chace said

“Anyone in the movie, geesh.” Taylor said before it became a big discussion

“Oh, uhhhhh, the dark-haired girl that was your girlfriend” she wiggled her eyebrows

“Yes, good choice.” Chase agreed Rebecca rolled her eyes but nodded

“Jessica Lucas” Taylor said “she is a good choice”

“Oh my god. I think I love you” Toby said putting his chin on her shoulder as she leaned away laughing. 

Sebastian walked up and put the drinks in his hands down on the table and then smacked Toby’s shoulder “Dude, what the hell?” Toby sat up and looked at him surprised

“Did you just call me dude?” his mouth hung open 

“He did. He called you dude” Chace confirmed

“How many times have you made fun of me for saying dude?” Toby asked him “How many? Saying I’m from England not California”

“I know, I know, I don’t know where it came from” Sebastian was looking down shaking his head. Brodie raised her hand she mouthed ‘sorry’

“HA!” Toby pointed to him “You’re from Romania not California. I like her, she made him say dude. You have my blessing Brodie”

“Thank…you…but I think he might break up with me now” she grimaced waiting for his reaction and noticed Paul who had come back with Sebastian was looking up mouthing ‘please god’ 

“Look, you’re all just going to have to overlook her use of the word ‘dude’. I don’t know why she says it. She’s from New Jersey!” she nodded in agreement “She also says ‘like’ a lot.” She narrowed her eyes and frowned at him “when she gets mad, she yells in Italian” she looked up head cocked to the side thinking “and she’s short, she can’t reach anything” she looked at him mouth open “Hey!” “But I love her even if she does say dude” she put her forehead down on the table.

“You know Seb,” said Taylor “That was a nice speech, heartfelt, genuine, but you still called him ‘dude’” They all laughed “Don’t you go blaming her!”

“Yeah dude, don’t like blame me or whatever” Brodie said looking up at him. He laughed and sat down with his arm around her shoulders

“I had to try” he shrugged and kissed her. Taylor and Chace glanced at each other smiling. “I’m never gonna hear the end of this.”

“Dude, just embrace the dude. It’s an all-purpose word.” She looked to Toby for validation he nodded “you can use it for anything” The rest didn’t seem convinced “Watch. Toby you see a hot girl…”

“Duuuude” he said eyes wide “Ok Brodie someone spills your drink”

“DUDE!” she lifted one palm up “Ummmm, someone says something you don’t understand”

“Dude?” he scrunched up his face looking very confused 

“See, dude? All purpose” Brodie said laughing

“Yes, but what if it’s a female?” Paul asked seriously. He was staring to tic off Brodie a little but she knew he was important to Sebastian so she tried hard to remain friendly

“Dude is gender neutral” Brodie said. 

Toby nodded “Don’t say ‘dudette’ in California, not cool”

Brodie loved Sebastian’s friends. They were funny and smart and teased each other in that way that long time deep friendships can. They left one by one each having responsibilities early the next morning. First Taylor, who hugged Brodie and told her he was very glad to meet her and that she had his blessing too. Chace and Rebecca soon followed, Rebecca and Brodie exchanged numbers and promised to get together for a girl’s night in New York. Toby and Sebastian were locked in an intense conversation at the bar, which left Brodie alone with Paul. 

“You don’t like me, do you Paul?” She said casually

“I’ve never said that” he replied taken back, feigning surprise

Brodie chuckled “I love that answer, it always makes me laugh. Just because you haven’t said it out loud doesn’t mean you don’t think it or feel it.” She said calmly “Does it?”

“Listen, Brodie” he said it slow like she was a child “I don’t really know you, but I do know Seb” he paused for her to say something but she just looked at him politely so he went on “I don’t know exactly what it is you are wanting to get out of this… relationship” he said the word ‘relationship’ like it was a word Brodie had made up “but I do know that you’re just not the right type for him” Again he paused for her to disagree and again she stayed quiet. It was a little tactic she learned from Robert. The silence tended to make people uncomfortable and say more than they planned to say.

“you see” he went on “Seb is a very kind, pure, and deep-down, spiritual person. He needs a partner that fits that.” He laced his fingers together for emphasis “I mean, yeah, you two may have the physical attraction but a real relationship needs that deep connection, basic values that you both share, if you understand what I’m saying.” Brodie nodded that she understood “I think that you would be better off with someone from your… circle.” He struggled to find the word ‘circle’. Brodie smiled “I don’t have anything against you. I’m sure you are a fine person. I just see it from the outside, and I know, I know for certain, that this will not last.” Brodie raised one eyebrow “Either you will get bored with the excitement of a younger, malleable, boy-toy, or he will realize that he needs someone who is more steady, upstanding, maybe even traditional to make a life with. Like I said nothing against you personally, I really hope that neither of you gets hurt.” 

Brodie smiled and nodded as she stood up. She put her hand on Paul’s shoulder in a friendly gesture “Thank you for your honesty, Paul. I do appreciate it.” She patted his shoulder gently a couple of times “If you will excuse me, I need to use the ladies’ room” 

“Of course.” he said and got up politely as she left the table. 

She took a deep breath as she stood at the bathroom sink looking at herself in the mirror. She told herself it didn’t matter what he thought, but he had hit her insecurities with a laser point. Sebastian was pure, she did put a stain on his reputation. He would figure out he deserved someone better, younger, undamaged. Brodie heard the actual message under the polite words, she was an old fucked-up whore with no morals trying to pretend she was worthy of a pure hearted boy when she really should just crawl the gutters with the rest of her kind. Her phone signaled

S- where are you?  
B- restroom  
S- on my way

She walked out of the ladies’ room and found him waiting in the little hallway for her. He smiled wide then stopped, cocking his head to one side. “Hey, what’s wrong doll? You ok?” 

she gave a small smile and nodded “I think the jetlag just hit me. I think I’m gonna go back to the room.”

“Ok, let me go let Paul and Toby know” she grabbed his arm

“No, no. It’s fine really. I can go back by myself. No need for you to leave” He gave her a side eye “I swear.” She crossed her heart “I’m just tired. You stay, please” he didn’t look convinced. She rolled her eyes “go!” she kissed him on the cheek. “let me sleep, I’m old and feeble, I need rest” she joked

“Ok, but promise me you will call or text if you need me?” he looked closely into her eyes, she nodded yes. “1-10?”

She smiled at him “Zero” and kissed him.

Brodie waited until she got into the room, had undressed and had gotten into a hot shower before she let herself cry. She got out when the water turned cold. She put on her pajamas, got in bed, and texted with Nina about finding the Coleman’s and what Paul had said. Nina texted back “What a prick” she smiled at the support. Nina reminded her that it was one guy, the rest of them liked her so he could fuck off. Brodie knew she was right, he just had said out loud what she was secretly thinking deep down somewhere, that’s why it bothered her so much.

She looked through her phone and opened Instagram, Paul had made a post of him and Sebastian in a disco pedicab and captioned it “We need to get girlfriends at some point”. She watched it loop over a couple of times, Sebastian was so happy. She turned off her phone and rolled to her side. She listed all the reasons why it was ok for her to be a selfish bitch and stay with him in her head. Fuck Paul, she thought grabbing the orchid around her neck, not everyone had to like her. Sebastian loved her, that was all that mattered.


	89. I’ve been away from you for forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, Brodie is finally back.

“Hey baby doll” he whispered in her ear “Come on doll wake up” she stirred a little but was deep asleep. “Brodie baby, wake up. I need you” She fluttered her eyes open.

“what’s wrong? What’s the matter?” she mumbled trying to wake up. She felt like she had been asleep for days.

“I need you” he repeated this time kissing her exposed neck “I need to be inside you” he whispered

“Oh. Christ, I thought something happened…” he silenced her by crushing his mouth on hers. He tasted like alcohol and cigarettes she pushed him away so that she could wake up a little more “Sebastian, let me just…” he grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her hard

“No doll. Now!” he climbed on top of her, he was still completely dressed, coat, shoes everything. “I missed you I feel like I’ve been away from you for forever” he whined “Daddy wants you”

“Daddy needs to get undressed and maybe a breath mint” she joked “how much more did you drink after I left?” he was clearly wasted. He held up his thumb and pointer finger right in her face indicating a little amount. “You need to at least take off your jacket and shoes” he got up to do what she told him and promptly sat down hard on the floor. “you ok there?” she tried not to laugh. He stared up at her trying to look stern and failing miserably.

“I’m the Daddy, and you…you” he trailed off losing his train of thought. He sighed closing his eyes, a drunken smirk on his perfect lips. She helped him undress and get into bed as he mumbled incoherently occasionally making out a word between the slurring. “flerdlingwhahaa shoe blurgerrden” 

She gave up trying to translate and just tucked him in bed so he was lying on his side. She climbed in next to him and rubbed his back. “You are gonna be hurting tomorrow” she whispered to him.

She was right. He woke up with the mother of all hangovers. Thank god he had a late call so he could die before he had to be on set, he thought to himself as he carefully rolled over. The bed was empty and he strained his ears to listen and heard the shower running. If his head wasn’t so fucking heavy, he would have gotten up and joined her. He rolled back over and saw the water bottle on the night stand with some aspirin next to it. He smiled and reached for it. 

“Oh, you’re up!” Brodie said extra loud and way too cheerful before coffee. She bounced on the bed wrapped in a towel. “How did you sleep?” He rolled on his back and looked at her sneering. She slapped his stomach. “I need coffee Daddy-o I’m gonna run over to the café” he grabbed her wrist “You want anything?” 

“wait” he said taking a deep breath “I’ll go with you” she chuckled because he did not look like he was getting up anytime soon. She bounced off to get dressed. 

He surprised her by being ready to go when she emerged from the bathroom. She smiled at him and grabbed her coat kissing his cheek as she walked past him to the door. He growled. As they got to the elevator Sebastian realized he forgot his phone and told Brodie he would meet her in the lobby. 

She rode down and thought about how she should have asked Terri if she wanted to come along or at least if she wanted anything, and started to text her as she exited the elevator. 

“Brodie?” She turned to see Dion Harding coming towards her, arms out for hug. He was a well-known alternative rock god. They had toured together several times and she was surprised to see him. She jumped up in her usual way, wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his middle. “Where are you guys playing?” He asked as they hugged

“No, we’re not. I’m here on vacation” She answered as he bent to put her down. “You?”

“We’re at the o2. Big deal, you know” He had a thick Irish accent that used to make Brodie lose her mind. He was gorgeous, dark hair, green eyes, tattoos on almost every inch of his body, lips that made you think dirty thoughts. He had small hands though, but he knew how to use them, and he liked it rough, a little too rough sometimes. He was funny and talented and good to hang out with, but his focus was only on sexual dominance if you dated him, no, fucked him, she thought, Sebastian had her calling it dating. 

“Of course.” she laughed “How are you? You look good” Whoo, he did look good, she thought, if she was still single it would have been on. 

“Well I’m much, much, better now” he said putting his hands on her hips and pulling her in “you look fuckin’ fantastic” he bent down to kiss her neck. She used her forearms to push him back

“No, nope, nope” she said “don’t” she pushed hard and he backed up but didn’t move his hands

“Oh, come on Brodie, let’s have fun” he said tightening his grip on her hips “Tell me you want to fuck me”

“I don’t want to Dion, I have a boyfriend” she tried to pry his hands off by grabbing his forearms 

He shrugged “well that doesn’t matter” he jerked her in close and wrapped his arms around her middle, burying his face in her neck. Her arms were trapped between them and she was trying as hard as she could to get out of his embrace. He pulled his head back to look at the necklace she was wearing because it poked him in the lip when he was kissing her neck. He held on to her waist with his left arm tightly and picked up the little orchid charm with his right hand. He chuckled “that’s a little girly for you idn’t?” 

“You want to let go of my girlfriend, mother fucker?” Sebastian said it quietly but she could hear how much he was trying to control his anger. She was simultaneously relieved and scared shitless that he was there. 

Dion let go of her and smiled at Sebastian “Sorry man, we were just foolin’ around. Brodie and I are old friends” he winked. Sebastian did not smile; he held his hand out to Brodie. She took it and he gently pulled her next to him.

“Thanks, daddy” she said loud enough so only the three of them could hear it. Dion nodded in understanding, holding his hand out for Sebastian to shake, he didn’t take it.

“I’m sorry man. I didn’t realize” Sebastian shook his head no and gestured to Brodie “Sorry Brodie, I didn’t realize. It was nice to see you” he saluted her and walked away saying “call me” over his shoulder. 

Sebastian put his arm around Brodie’s shoulders and took a deep breath. Brodie braced for his anger. He bent his head down and kissed her cheek then whispered in her ear “from now on, the only one you wrap your legs around is me, understand?”

“Yes daddy” she looked down at her feet. “I’m sorry”

“Not because I don’t trust you, because I do. You’re my good girl.” He was whispering in her ear as he led her to the door “but because if I ever see someone holding you against your will like that again, I’m going to prison for murder” she nodded “what?”

“Yes, I understand daddy” He stopped walking when they got outside, she looked up at him and he sighed, this was not helping his head ache.

“Are you ok? Did he hurt you?” he asked sincerely, but if she had been stabbed or had half her arm ripped off, she would not have told him because of the look in his eyes.

“I’m fine, he didn’t hurt me. I just couldn’t get my arms out to hit him. It’s my fault I know how rough he can be I should have just kept my distance. He’s the kind that pretends he didn’t hear you yell the safe word.” She regretted it as it was coming out of her mouth. “I mean, I just, you know like…” she had nothing.

“Oh wow, I like him more and more” he said sarcastically and rubbed his hand over his face. “Look, we’re gonna talk about this later because I need to calm down first, but I need you to know one thing” he pointed at her his face in hers “You did nothing wrong” she stared at him blinking, confused at the statement. “Say it” she shook her head and scrunched up her face not understanding. “Brodie, you did nothing wrong, that guy is an asshole” 

“but…” he hugged her. She was completely perplexed why he wasn’t yelling at her or telling her she was inviting Dion to treat her like that by flirting with him, how could she let him, blah, blah, blah. “ok” she shrugged.

“Say it, doll. Say you did nothing wrong” 

“I did nothing wrong?” He let out a heavy breath and rolled his eyes, then stared at her “I did nothing wrong” she said still not in a very convincing tone but close enough he thought. He fixed the necklace around her neck so the charm was at her throat and the clasp was in the back. 

“I think until everyone gets it through their thick skulls that you are mine, we might need a day collar that’s a little…” he stopped to think

“Less girly?” she finished for him trying not to sound wounded by the dig from Dion. 

“No. A little more…”

“Butch? Tough? Strapping?” she said sarcastically. He looked at her and cocked his head to one side

“Nooooooo. What are you talking about?” she waved it off “I just wanted to find something more obvious, I guess is the word” she nodded and gave a weak smile.

“Yay, more jewelry!” she tried to sound happy but it didn’t travel to her eyes.

She climbed out of the subway station. She had gotten off the train one stop early to enjoy the couple blocks of walking before the late summer city heat had made it impossible. Nina had spent the night at Olivia’s place the night before and she was on her way back to Brodie’s place where she was staying for the time being. She couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. She never thought she would ever feel this way again after Brodie. She even gave up women because no one measured up and there was always that chance, until Sebastian. 

As much as she loved her and Brodie loved her back, it wasn’t like the way Brodie loved him. So, Nina tried to move on with Thomas, he was sweet and funny and not the one. He was definitely a rebound. Then out of the fucking blue in walked Olivia. It was like all that time that everyone had been telling her she had to let go of Brodie to have room for someone else clicked finally. Olivia loved her as much she loved Olivia and more than she ever romantically loved Brodie. She suddenly understood the goofy looks B and Seb gave each other. She suddenly felt happy. Olivia didn’t want kids either and she was definitely willing to explore some kink. 

The memory of the night before came back vividly and Nina had to stop herself from spinning around like a character in a musical. Arms wide, giant smile, about to sing as the crowd around her joins in. Yeah, she might need some sleep. She almost skipped up the stairs of the building reaching for her keys when something caught her eye at the top. She stopped immediately “what are you doing here?” she said flatly

“I need to talk to Brodie”


End file.
